spring breeze
as you probably know or have noticed
I’m going through a fit of Congruencing
you know that spring breeze scent?
the one that incites you to dream up wishes
your whole body wants to skip and frolic,
you desperately desire to sweep off the porch, start fresh,
(yes, whoosh-goodbye to what is old and done!)
roll in the grass, and then maybe a nap?
that is a bit like what Congruencing feels like
to me, at least
right now
good plus hard
there is good and hard to everything
this is the way of things
and there is good and hard to Congruencing
good: tingly excitement, freshness, newness, desire to engage again
hard: releasing what needs to be released stirs up dust
(of the emotional and energy varieties)
and, also, of course, yes,
you become keenly aware of ALL THE THINGS
that are currently incongruent, disharmonious, stagnant, out of date…
which leads to all flavors of crises
from “augh I don’t know what to wear, everything is unappealing and terrible”,
like, seriously Kim Kardashian levels of nothing to wear,
to the monsters that show up because
oh look Nothing In Your Life Is Working
which is not actually true
not true
it’s just that your attention is now drawn
to the bits that need fixing and patching
the things that need to exit your life
so that’s what you see
it isn’t the whole picture
it’s just where your focus is
I learn this and re-learn this every time Congruencing strikes
and then forget it again
right now all I can see is what is wildly incongruent
and out of date
which means the only answer is to laugh
and open the windows to let new air in
so here’s something funny
I have a sidebar
and it has a list of people’s favorite blog posts
in addition to my recommendations of what to read
and this list is from (drumroll…)
TWO THOUSAND AND NINE
which is about a hundred years ago in internet years
there’s even a link to the post from that year where
everyone named their favorite posts
and get this, even that post was brought on by a wave of congruencing
which is a good reminder to me that
this is just how life is: alive
and constantly changing,
in flux, not stagnant
sweeping away dust and letting fresh air in
(or more modern versions of “chop wood, carry water”, like deleting and archiving)
is the work of life
and this isn’t bad
there is holiness in everything
bringing light to forgotten corners is good work
even when it brings up distress about how did all these corners get forgotten
let’s play
it’s time to make a new list for the sidebar
or at least to reflect on what might go there
if/when I get around to a new one
here is what I would love to know
what are your favorite posts?
which posts would you want to share with someone?
where would you point someone new?
what posts if any from the current list would you keep there?
I know this is not the easiest question,
there are 1586 posts — and now 1587, ta da!
but if some memory is stirred in you
a piece of writing of mine that
was meaningful to read
please share
I would like that
and it would help me with this spring mission
here are some of my favorite posts
- cornbread vs the iditarod
- no one could look as good as you, mercy
- an airport parking lot filled entirely with french horns
- pain au chocolat
- Shmita
- A two sentence conversation about praise and time
- in grand fashion
- Clint Eastwood
- A love letter to you in the moment you become an adventurer
- Lost in a tragic ice cream incident
- The fountain
- The second time I got fired
- Constellations
- Red lights: a love story
and I don’t like to reread this one because it makes me cry,
but exit as you wish to continue is very beautiful and full of truth
what goes in the list?
tell me what you love or remember or find yourself returning to
let’s see if we can make a small sweet library for new people to start with
(or really anyone who showed up after 2009!)
and then maybe we can do it again in a few years
smiling about all the beautiful unexpected things we have learned and revealed
between now and then
“remember when you used to write in Woem form, for no reason?”, you’ll say
and we will have a good laugh about that too
or maybe by then I will have elevated woems to a brilliant art form
and we will laugh about that instead
laughter will be there for us either way
and sweetness
I can tell
thank you for helping me with this
I love playing with you here
Follow
O, wonderful! I now have a curated treasure-trove of reading!
For me, Bolivia is the post I keep coming back to, and pointing other people at.
YES to Bolivia! I love that post so much.
Yes, Bolivia. Its brilliance never dims.
I love “rooting for love,” myself 🙂
My perennial favorites are the things currently under “You,” all the introductions to helpful practices–the Book of Me, VPAs, Metaphor Mouse/Iguanability, Hello Day, the Dammit List, art of the OOD…
and most importantly: the “YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE A THING” post!
What comes to mind are your posts on how the game is rigged, on doing just one thing, and the one on even though statements. 🙂
Thank you for asking! (My monster Brod Caster, who thinks everyone would benefit from me blurting out my advice. steps to the microphone, hiding a featherduster and grinning cheesily.)
#1 in my Library – You don’t have to face your fear. Really. The one that started my Quest – Curing Phone Call Dread. Others of the remaining 22 I have saved that I return to and count as my favorites: The “77 things that don’t absolutely suck” Game. I have shared this with family at Thanksgiving and friends at Christmas. Constellations about death and grieving. And the two posts, Releasing and A Releasing Ritual.
Once again, thank you for asking. By the way, Havi, you could… (A big hook comes out and pulls Brod Caster away from the microphone.)
Ha, I will take all ideas from Brod Caster into consideration, I am very receptive right now to all kinds of possibilities and options 🙂
Okay, I’m back! Please clean Old Stuff off the website and sidebar. That’s all, thanks!
The one about sparklepoints wham boom!
ooh I forgot about that one! And it’s only from a few months ago! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
Here is a second vote for Bolivia, which I refer to in my head and out loud to other people very often.
The next one that comes to mind is about iguanability/iguanaccountability. It started with this one, I think: http://fluentself.com//blog/mindful-time-management/iguanaccountability-chicken-crosses-the-road/
Third, I love the Dammit list.
Definitely the Fountain. I think it’s my favourite post ever. In a similar vein, I also like the Treasure Box of Tiny Stones.
Constellations is fabulous. And I’m enjoying 38 Yawns a lot at the moment.
The one about CWUs. And the one about the canopy.
CWUs!
I don’t even remember what CWU stands for, other than Witchy Undergarments!
Oh yes, and HA and THA.
I’ve referred just about everyone I know to The Flow Chart of Spaciousness – I even had this drawn on my fridge door in dry marker pen for several months! (who knew most fridge doors can be used as whiteboards?). And the Pavilion of Transformation, to remind us of the cyclic nature of All Stuff.
Hmmmm. . .this is interesting, because I realize I would fail miserably at accurate citations of your work, despite the fact that I am constantly using your ideas with the general “this is a Havi idea” statement. When I was in a place where I wanted to shift my “career”, I actually just went to the sidebar and found “Biggification: a partial map” and “Doing Just One Thing” and both were/are amazingly helpful. And I love the concept of The Book of You, although I’m not sure my own practice with that originated from that specific post, but rather from your numerous references to it.
But the ONE post I remember specifically is Bolivia, which is kind of odd, since I love Bolivia, so it wasn’t about me. But it was just such a beautiful way of explaining this way of thinking and has forever changed the way I converse with all women around these issues. Also, it reminded me of a presentation on autism, in which having a child with autism was compared to waking up in Holland when you thought you were headed somewhere else, and I love the neutralizing effect that referring to things as places has.
And also. . .my most-used concept from you (at least I think it was yours, but I know I read it here) is noticing who is at the front of the “V”. I have no idea where it is in the blog, but it is permanently imprinted in my heart and I share it constantly. I’m particularly fond of sending the ones who should not be at the front to their safe rooms, where they can have snacks and blankets.
Hah!
Havi – I was just reading about “Clint Eastwood” (December, 2011), and you linked out to ‘the front of the V’, which I followed, since Frieda mentioned it. That link went to “Safe Rooms” (November 2010), where you said that ‘the V’ was an idea from the lovely Hiro Boga!
So there ya go, Frieda…
And I’d like to nominate both of those^^^ for the New Sidebar! Happy Congruencing! <3
Another vote for «These are my roots» (aka «the game is rigged»). I’ve loved hundreds of your posts (I was about to say «thousands», but remembered you’ve just said this was the 1587th…) over the years, and would have had a hard time making a shortlist of just a few favorites if not for that post, which clearly stands out for me. I’m glad you wrote it, I hope it will reach lots of people, and I hope you’ll keep talking + speaking your truth about those issues (please!).
another for these are my roots!
I’m sure I will remember more later, but here is a quick vote for the one about the fox and the video game. That one really sparked for me, and I’ve shared it with several people.
Also, talking to walls.
And I second the votes for Bolivia and these are my roots.
So much amazing wonderfulness! <3
“I am a panther” and “Exit the Middle” are the first that come to mind for me. <3 <3
There are a few things which are just a thing, now.
Like Bolivia. (can’t undo that concept. it’s a thing!
Then here are posts that I refer people to when i try to explain how come where i met my new friends.
– red lights, yes.
– the one about permission slips
– the one about superpowers (” There is enough for everyone.”)
– the recent one about sparklepoints and ‘all things count’
– the one about souvereignty
– the one about amnesty
– the one about spaciousness
(a list of posts that elaborate on concepts that I wish could be taught as standard curriculum in pre-school and all schools)
when i just wrote “Then here are posts that I refer people to when i try to explain how come where i met my new friends.”
>> what i meant was. I have friends in my real life now who i met at floop. and other people in my life ask me: where did you guys meet? and I do tell the story, and I sneak in some conceps. And the above concepts are the ones I would love love love to be known more widely and readily in the world.
More favorites (in addition to the ones I mentioned above):
For sheer beauty and wisdom (and, of course, always process):
– constellations
– We are the mighty mighty nature crew! And other true stories.
– An airport parking lot filled entirely with French horns.
– set free and be set free
– Shmita
– rooting for love
– rest into clarity and the wild mysteries
– no one could look as good as you, Mercy
– What is more astonishing?
For process (and, of course, always beauty and wisdom):
– Welcome to the Communal Sparklepoint Society of Everything Counts Wham Boom Wham Boom!
– notes and love letters
– the to-make (or not-to-make) list
– Bite me, National Anti-Procrastination Day
– Avoidance! Oh, and getting out of it.
– Clues in the pattern.
So. Much. Amazingness. !!!
<3
Bolivia, always/
It’s all so, so helpful and sometimes I click on something trusting that the trail it leads to will get me the very post I need in that moment.
But. If I had to say one: Fractal Flowers. The. Best. I keep coming back to it again and again when I’m in overwhelm.
Oh! I love the sidebar. I feel like the sidebar is there for me if I start to lose my way. The idea of it changing starts to make me feel nervous EXCEPT I know being afraid of change is not the alive flowing way, and, its new incarnation will be able to hold just as much help. It’s all so helpful!
Posts from the current sidebar that feel especially important:
Avoidance and getting out of it
Doing just one thing
The book of you
Here are other posts I love:
Oh no oh please don’t go
Take care of yourself and you shall receive
Actually I am starting to realize how much of this I have internalized, forgotten, “rediscovered” (usually the hard way!), and made part of my understanding of the world. (and then forgotten again, and “rediscovered” again, you know…) Gosh. Thank you. Again.
Here are the ones that I have saved (& I am taking this post of yours as a clew to take some time over the day to reread & re-savour them):
What is true? What’s also true? with its perfect reminder that the Game is Rigged (though you hadn’t put it that way yet) & that I do not, in fact, have to do All the Things.
The Book of You, hmm, perhaps I might take some time to work on mine, since I am Congruencing this month as well.
Wish #246: Some thoughts on the nature of wishing…, which says so very many things about wishing in safety, but the basis is this: You are allowed to want things. _I_ am allowed to want things.
Luscious Minimalism because it is SO VERY MY YES
The questions because they are such VERY GOOD questions. (One of monsters I talk to when I am doing this is the one who asks, ‘What if we feel this rotten forever?’.)
and
The Flow Chart of Spaciousness, which I had entirely FORGOTTEN ABOUT & so I am going to print it out, on the lovely purple printer paper I have because white paper is sort of not terribly exciting, & hang it above my desk. Then perhaps I will do it in calligraphy, because that would be very pretty.
The ones that have stuck with me and that I keep using and referring to are:
– you don’t have to face your fear
– book of me
– sovereignty
– throwing shoes
– five things (the thing where you look around the room and see clues)
– talking to a wall
– dammit list
And whichever one it was where you say, you don’t have to move outside of your comfort zone.
There are only my *recent* favourites:
these are my roots
120
Cornbread vs the Iditarod
Wish 316: unlikely combinations
Wish 300: what do I know about yes
Wish 313: subterranean
Not my area
I feel a Congruencing
quality ingredients
That’s what this blog is full of: quality ingredients. It’s hard to select only a few!
These are posts that explain my favourite practices/capers/techniques – all post-2009.
The Revue. The spangles are optional.
Safe Rooms.
In which Metaphor Mouse gets a makeover and decorates a hat!
Gwishes.
My toes lift up in a little dance, and my left hand is clenching again.
Take notes.
Not getting rid of it. Replacing it.
Awkward conversations (and a wacky exercise).
Such brilliant stuff. I am glowing, beaming, radiating appreciation!
And two more! Because they are so important!
the guild of the colorful silk parachute (a very quiet revolution)
Barrington’s Discretionary
The ones that stick out for me are Bolivia and the one about Red Velvet Ropes and your right people. I also like to go back in the archives to read my own VPAs and Chickens to see what changed, to whisper to Me From Then that things really do get better, and to wonder about the things that mattered to me back then that I don’t even know what they are now.
ha ohmygod me too with past wishes, I’m like “what was I worried about? what was this even about!”, and also the part about having so much love for Me From Then, it’s fascinating to reread 🙂
Here’s my list of suggestions.
From the current sidebar list:
– The Book of You – the root of all good changes and self fluency in my life. I’ve been keeping my Book of Me for 5 years, and I couldn’t live without it.
– Grinding wheels – this has made such a difference in my daily life!!
– Doing just one thing
– What to do if you feel like dirt
– Talking truth to fear
– You don’t have to face your fear
– Destuckification 101
– Destuckifying when the shoes are flying overhead.
The ones I use most and refer people to often (along with the Book Of You):
– Fractal flowers.
– Stone skipping. I solve EVERYTHING by skipping stones.
– Permission slips. Because we all need them.
– The hotel inside my head is delighted to offer a wide variety of in-house entertainment options. I’ve made several guides based on this, for different kinds of days, and they help a lot.
– Hello, day and any of the Hello, Month.
– A set of four questions. These are amazing for complicated relationship stuff of any kind.
– Preparing for the voyage.
Also:
– Exit as you wish to continue. It also makes me cry, and also yes, beautiful and full of truth.
– Red Lights: A Love Story.
This list is a good sample of my daily/weekly/monthly practice in self-fluency. And I’m so, so grateful to you for sharing these treasures with us. <3
You already listed one of my top two favorites, cornbread vs the iditarod. The other is: these are my roots. Your discussion of the rigged game changed me.
– Bolivia
-Conscious Entry and Exit, Embarking
-Setting things up for Future Me
-all the Barrington posts
I will have to go and reread through everyone’s favorites! Some of my mine are the tool orientated ones: fractal flowers & throw it into the pot”, even though statements and what else is true are the ones that bubble to the top of my mind right off the bat.
This is so hard, but in a lovely way. I’ve read just about everything since 2008. I pretty much never know the posts by their titles but instead by the ideas embodied within them. Some of the ideas that I have shared outward, and which have radiated inward, include:
sovereignty (having also clicked through to hiro but back here again)
processing my own process
tiny sweet things
gwishes
the throwing of shoes
superpowers
lusciousness and panther-ness and pleasure
monsters
metaphors
doing just one thing
entrances
the game is rigged
BEING A UNICORN (this one is huge for me, as it never occurred to me that I might also be on the unicorn spectrum)
safe rooms
incoming me, past me, and inviting an agent to the front of the V
I have a post-it note quote stuck on my computer from ‘Rest into clarity and the wild mysteries’ so that one is definitely important, too.
The one I keep coming back to (and sharing with everyone) is these are my roots. I’m always so happy to be reminded of it.
Also the Proxy post was really important to me a couple of years ago, although it no longer resonates with me (probably because I don’t need proxies at the moment :D).
OH! And the one about avoidance! Avoidance! Oh, and getting out of it was huge for me. Still is huge for me.
The one called ‘THIS’.
These Are My Roots, and True Currency, and A Very Quiet Revolution — THE GAME IS RIGGED
The ones about the art of wishing that are linked in the wish post header.
I would love a subsection of ‘Useful Practices’, eg Hello Day, Metaphor Mouse, Four Questions, Revue, Enter As You Wish To Be In It/Exit As You Wish To Continue, Book Of Me etc etc
And lots of the others highlighted above!
Xxxxxx
MY HEART IS A NEST
Amnesty. Amnesty forever and ever and ever. I know it gets a link in the chicken postscript, I just think it can’t be pointed to enough!
Oh, Bolivia.
And rooting for love because of how charged that post is.
I don’t think I can read rooting for love any time without needing to retreat into a safe house at some point, no matter what the score.
Pickles.
I often share “The clan of the outsiders” and several people told me it has really touched them.
Also what comes to mind that I haven’t seen mentioned was “Preparing for the Voyage”.
And of course, Bolivia 🙂
That’s off the top of my head, I’ll have to go back and check what I saved.
What a beautiful gift, this post. A spark that poofed into a thousand sparklepoints. A reminder of everything I have received from you. A reminder of how much better my life is that these gifts – your writing – is part of my toolbox. Thank you, Havi.
There are 3 posts that mean so much to me I have copied the text into a file and have them printed in my Book of Things I Must Not Forget:
shoes, which is in the sidebar:
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/destuckifying-when-the-shoes-are-flying-overhead/ (especially this one because there are examples)
Sovereignty 101 and some things I learned about sovereignty
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/some-things-i-have-learned-about-sovereignty/
http://fluentself.com//blog/stuckification/sovereignty-101/
Also, the concept of “front of the V” – I can’t tell you how many times this have come to my rescue. I it also the #1 concept I share with people and then point them to Fluent Self.
sending you an ocean of love.
When someone asks a question like this, looking for specifics, my brain freezes up.
I like so many of the ones everyone else has already mentioned.
I can say, just this week I’ve been using “fractal flowers”.
This is where I live.
http://fluentself.com//?s=this+is+where+I+live
I actually made an art piece out of it, to remind me, to settle me into my body.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Here are some of my favorite from the last year or two:
pain au chocolat – Really like this one. http://fluentself.com//blog/personal/pain-au-chocolat/
Luscious Minimalism http://fluentself.com//blog/personal/luscious-minimalism/
38 Yawns http://fluentself.com//blog/stuff/38-yawns/
Looking. Under. Things. http://fluentself.com//blog/stuff/looking-under-things/
I couldn’t find all the ones I liked, however. I remember one about how you never weigh yourself, not even at the doctor. I really liked that one. And some of the game-is-rigged posts. I wish I could find all the ones I loved. There were a couple that felt like calls to action. Join the revolution posts.
Later I’ll go through the posts I bookmarked multiple years ago and see what stand out.
The three posts I retread, ( ha! typo!), reread most often:
Avoidance! Oh, and getting out of it. March 3, 2009
Let’s end this story about Who Is A Writer, Feb 25th, 2014
Some thoughts on dealing with loss, April 11, 2010
Let’s end this story about Who Is A Writer!!! Yes, that is a favorite of mine that I forgot about as well!
I have many many favorites, and many of your favorites are also my favorites!
I have a special fondness for Taking a stand, and also for the Flow Chart of Spaciousness. Constellations is exquisite, pain au chocolat is brilliant, and oh, I love them all. <3