Fluent Self Item!A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.

Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.

Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.

Still feeling like dirt.

So I used magic wishful thinking to make today Wednesday. Of course, it isn’t Wednesday, which is actually fine by me, because I’m a pretty big fan of Tuesday. But I’m acting like it’s Wednesday, and putting up an Item! post.

What? This isn’t making any sense? Now you know how I feel. 🙂

Also, I include links to Twitter handles too, when I can. If you’re not a fellow Twitterite, here’s my post about why it’s so great.

Item! Post No. 20 in a semi-ongoing series that lets me alter the calendar at will.

Item! This is a fantastic post. You should read it!

It’s called “O is for Openness”. And that’s all I’m going to say about it. Because — wow.

As it was, I held onto to my secret for weeks, smoldering like wet leaves on fire, wrapped up in my judgment and perception of how others would judge me. If I hear one more person pontificate on how diabetes is TOTALLY avoidable, I will rip their living heart from their chest and eat it in front of them, saying to their glazing eyes, “THAT was totally avoidable, dumb-ass.”

I absolutely cannot remember how I got to this amazing post. It probably came from one of you guys, or through the magic of Twitter.

Remind me?

Item! Awkward family photos!

As if I didn’t already adore Jason Lay enough, I will forever love him for introducing me to this collection of supremely awkward family photos.

Jason writes: If your family photos are as awkward as these, I am hoping you have a good sense of humor.

Luckily, they are and I do.

He’s @metanoid on Twitter.

Item! You still can’t get milk from a stone!

A beautiful post from Hiro:

Woman 2: Yeah, you totally deserve milk. You do so much for everyone. You SO deserve milk. (Pause, followed by worried look). So, did he give it to you?

Woman 1: No. He just sat there like . . . like a stone! No milk! How hard could it be to give me milk, after all I’ve done for him? Running around after those kids all day . . . all I need is a little milk. That’s not so much to ask for, is it?

Now you have to read the rest, right?

She’s @hiroboga on Twitter.

Item! I am in a strop!

“In a strop” = a phrase I learned from Tatty Franey whom I’m completely mad about. Apparently it’s an Irish-ism for being in bad mood. Or something.

It is the best phrase in the entire world and I must adopt it at once.

I was in a strop when my site got hacked. I was in a strop when I got out of bed today, and I’m still (kind of) in a strop right now!

You see. It is very useful.

She is @tattyfraney on Twitter.

Item! The Star Trek version of my pirate ship!

Here’s a great post that totally uses my metaphor thing.

It’s inspiring! Despite the utter lack of pirates.

Spock (First Officer): This is the guy that keeps that tension going between the vision and the reality. The poetry and the logic. He grounds Kirk, protects him, does his best to see things through his eyes. Occasionally gives in to his human side. Super-powers: capable of the mind-meld and the Vulcan death grip. This is my husband.

You should read it.

She is @tentativequinox on Twitter.

Item! Etsy sidewalk sale!

It’s dangerous! It’s distracting! And I love it.

Lots of Twitter-centric Etsy sales happening this week (through May 23rd) — you can get gorgeous handmade things at lovely prices… and support artists and craftspeople while you’re at it.

Hooray!

I picked up all sorts of good things (especially from Mrs. Kwittys and Aquarian Bath).

That’s @inmyheadstudios, @misseskwittys, and @aquarianbath that you should be following on Twitter.

Item! My class with Pistachio is tomorrow!

If none of this Twitter stuff is making sense to you — or even it it completely is — you should take my class tomorrow on the Strategy of Not Being Strategic.

Because it’s really useful to know how to use Twitter to grow the cool thing you do (or the cool thing you want to do, or the cool thing that you’re still figuring out).

We’re going to be spewing smartnesses right and left.

And @pistachio is an amazing teacher. Read more about why you should listen to us!

That is all.

Happy reading.

And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow.

PS: And maybe I’ll get to say hi to you in class (also tomorrow), which would be awesome. Today’s the last chance to sign up.

The Fluent Self