the point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), it’s learning about my relationship with wanting, accessing the qualities…
wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…
this is the 377th week of wishing, come play!
the meeting point between not-knowing and knowing
obsessed with the idaho sky
constantly changing, endlessly fascinating
I like the cloud-watching maybe almost as much
as the star-gazing under the milky way
not a light in sight
just a wonderment of stars
under this sky I go back and forth between
sweet clarity: total certainty, saying yes to my yes
and then the opposite of that, the
immense not-knowing of the void,
the wobbliness of it all
thinking about things I might possibly want to do, like maybe….
- go to Boise (just for a day)
- take off for San Francisco (maybe for three days)
- not go anywhere (for as long as possible)
- change careers
- write about bells
- rescue the museum
- burn down the museum
- rebuild the museum
- sell tickets to the bonfire
- open all the doors
- hide out in Idaho and being a recluse (not in winter though because it’s cold)
- get blank business cards and write on them in invisible ink because I change my mind each day
- take up pole dancing, take down everything else
- live by the canyon with no neighbors and no curtains
but then so sure of everything
I want to devote myself to Very Interior Design
do less and choose ease
savor this moment
close doors that need closing to
open the door of the bell of opening keys
beautiful exit
beautiful entry
simplicity simplicity simplicity
adaptability and grace
I want the ability to switch modes faster
or to protect myself when I can’t
wild glamour a la Diana Rigg
a different kind of Avenger
the kind who wears sexy boots and strides through
[everything]
with confident ease and wild trust
come into center
I have been wishing wishes about space and spaciousness
making space for my yeses
what if nothing is wrong
what if nothing is wrong with letting go
balancing
I have been balancing: in the pool, on the board, in my dreams
because balance is the art of knowing that you are
in a constant state of falling
and being okay with that
as you make your small adjustments
with a smile
centered
being okay with not-balance is of course
the superpower of being centered with yourself,
so how funny-perfect to discover that
we are in the month of CENTER
everything that happened in September
(the month of INTENTION and I Am So Very Clear)
brought me here, both to this new clarity about my yes,
as well as to these useful and sometimes uncomfortable
moments of wobbliness and questioning
delicious space
this month brings the superpower of delicious space
clearly this is needed
and maybe that’s how Diana Rigg’s Emma Peel is able to
maintain her internal sense of [calm, cool and in command]
even in the most precarious of situations
she has her boots and glamour
but also her trust in her ability
to maintain a sense of center
to maintain a sense of center
center and periphery
shields up
force field activated
and then I get to relax: suspended in the quiet
at the center of the center of the center
inside my circle of delicious space
this is my wish: what do I know about it
I keep getting thrown off center
yanked out of whatever state
(relaxation, creativity, holiness)
that I have immersed myself in
and then floundering and bewildered because
[what is] = so completely different than what I anticipated
but this is the aliveness of life,
going in and out of these states
the wobbling is the practice
maybe center is about resetting:
re-establishing yeses and boundaries
making more space for what I need
as well as more space to adapt to
sudden surprises
head
the head weighs a lot, which is why balance and centering
involve being clear and intentional about head position
not looking down
here we are at erev rosh hashana
the eve of the head of the year
the holiest day
high + holy
and I had a miscommunication with friends
because they are not jewish and so they assumed
this is the kind of new year that is about celebrating
when it is the kind of new year that is about contemplating
though also about blasting
it is not a party, it is a very big and intense door
eyes up
straight ahead
this is the head
stones for a new year
where do I want my head
how do I make safe — no, delicious — space for what I need
what supports my yes
what will help me adapt more easily
find my center
my delicious space
even/especially in moments of perceived tumultuousness
time for more quiet
waiting it out
listening deeper
taking it to the water,
filling up on appreciation for
the wild skies,
cloud formations
quiet and free under the stars
how do I want to meet this new year
clear the decks
clear head
approach with curiosity and intention
and sweetness, of course
always with sweetness
welcome, come in
what if the space I make for you is delicious
what if the space we make together is
even better than that
last week’s wishes
last-week-me wished a wish called rainbow oasis
and I have been immersed in the pool, watching the play of light
finding my safe places
this was a good wish for me
invitation: come play with me…
you are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading
deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code
safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving
wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing
here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes
♡
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Often when I read your wishes, my mind clamors with ‘that isn’t like me, what do I want to say, me, me, me’. Today, I tried reading slowly and mindfully, really taking in what you’re saying, and noticing that it does actually overlap some of my own wishes. Huh.
What beautiful wishes.
<3
!!! !!! !!!
mmmmmmmmm
it is so good to be here
Yesterday I was writing out my entry for October, and I wrote about four times that I wanted space, and then I turned over the page in the calendar and there it was! Delicious space! And I hadn’t even thought about its possibly being delicious, but yes, why not?
Space is difficult at the moment. The mystery of Having People In My Space continued until today, right down to the twelve-coach train that turned out to only have eight coaches, and the mystery of Other People Controlling My Time (Which Is Space) is ongoing. Meanwhile, the span of daylight shrinks.
I have carved out a larger space for myself, and now I have the question of whether to expand to fit it, in which case it makes it not-big-enough again, or to wait in the space with… whatever else comes in to find it. This is where centre comes in, I suppose. I want to inhabit my space, not just happen to be in it.
My partner bought a sort of guard for his microphone, which protects it from vibrations and so forth. It reminds me of a tiny trampoline, and my father of a tiny moon lander. I think I would like one for myself: I need protection if I am to communicate accurately.
I want to turn inwards. It’s time, and beyond time.
Mmmm this is so beautiful! So much resonance! <3 <3 <3
>>My Time (Which Is Space)<< – oh, so true
Now *this* just delights me!!
“get blank business cards and write on them in invisible ink because I change my mind each day”
It also reminds me of what I’ve been wishing a lot this past week or two:
~ Mutuality
(that resonance when you like each other and it’s not lop-sided, whether it be “I can enjoy this temporary moment with you just as is, no more” or “Omgoodness, I don’t know who you are but I think I want you in my life Forever!” or “Sweet one, thankyou for stepping into my world, shall we dance?” rather than the dissonance and Unflow of “Oh, they like me more than I like them” or vice versa)
~ Alignment
(it’s similar but different to Mutuality; you’re on the same page–“Oh, we see things so differently but how we talk it through is just so Same Page!” or “Gosh tis so tiring being an alien from where Kindness is just Normal and Making Space for People is Just What You Do and who the Hell throws litter from a car into this beautiful forested area and how come we’re on THIS planet?” and of course it also applies to bodies and environments and non-people things)
~ Strong Vibrant Glowing Health
(I’m so tired of trying to get this wish just right. I *get* that I pushed my body for years–but oh the pride in my strength and stamina–and I *get* that tis multiple threads that bring me here, and dear, sweet body, I’m listening, I’m trying–god I’m trying–but I don’t get it! I think I’m just dumb and slow with my body. I do so well with other humans, as I’ve learned to *read* them, and I’m trying to badly to *read* this beautiful body, but boy, I’m just clumsily making a big mess in the kitchen with nothing to show for it!
~ Softness where softness be’eth required; Hardness where hardness be’eth required
(this is a global wish, please help yourself and distribute as needed *smiles*)
(And I can see how the theme of Centredness relates to all of the above *grins delightedly*)
– 0 –
Such wonderful wishes! {{{Magic}}}
Thankyou! xx
Loving the blank business cards. I’ll write one out for whoever I want to give it to, depending on how I see myself on the day. 🙂
“a wonderment of stars”
!!!
<3 <3 <3
Wonderful amazing thing that happened to me last week actually implemented yesterday and I have to remember that no matter how crappy things seem, sometimes good things happen, even to me.
Now trying to reengage my atrophied creativity for a new project and having a hard time remembering how to even do that.
So I wish for sparkles of time and sprinkles of ideas and a strong center of actually sitting down and doing the work.
And I thank you for giving me a place to express this wish.
I will now open the intense door and let Havi walk through first. Then I hope I’ll have the strength to follow.
Sparkles and sprinkles and strong center! And big trust! <3
I felt a pleasant little shiver of wonder and delight when I turned my calendar page and saw Delicious Space. I *love* that — I initially typed, “I *live* that”, and yes, that’s what I would like my wish to be about this week. I wish to create Delicious Space for myself, and I also wish for the superpower of making Delicious Space available for others.
This is going to be so much fun to think about and play with! I’m off to skip some stones now… <3
Mmmmm yes, here’s to all the superpowers of I LIVE THAT! May it be so! <3
Even though it isn’t new year for me, a door opened this week – the first week of working part time. I shall call this extra (special, precious) day my Personal Day. I spent my first Personal Day doing housework and reading and dancing, not working on my [tiny, precious thing], but I planted some seeds for the rest of the week, some of which are already blooming. What beautiful Fractal Flowers!
I wish for (more!) Creating, and may I have the Superpower of Blooming.
-0-
What beautiful wishes and fractal flowers blooming!!!
Randomly, your desire to write about bells resonates with me and I would love to read your writing about bells! Bell manufacturing has a wonderful little word in it, “strickle” – the scraping-tool-on-an-axis that lets the bell maker form the inside (clay) and outside (wax) of the bell during casting. So, here is a little funny-shaped leaf I found in the word forest that I thought you might like: strickle!
Strickle is a wonderful word! Thank you. <3
Omgoodness, in love with the phrase “little funny-shaped leaf I found in the word forest” and of course strickling to create bells…!!!!
What if…
You are a Star. (Not conditional tense.)
And your monsters were Astronomers. (Conditional tense, because it’s a what if.)
They observe, and make comments, but they do not change Anything about You. Because they can observe from only their limited, monsterish point-of view using their obsolete monster equipment with the distorted lens and the one that measures only X, and the one that measures only say, size. Oh, and they perhaps do not monitor their equipment all the time. And of course, they compare you to other Stars, because that’s part of Science.
But you can ask them, “What do observe about this in me?”
And it’s just their observations from way out on the edges of the galaxy, not anywhere that can affect you in any way. (Safety First!)
And you can listen.
And you can laugh.
And you can say, “I have feelings, Monsters. Your comments do hurt me.” And you can cry.
And you can communicate with them when you choose.
I did not think this was about me, but it is.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!! + <3 This is so beautiful. Thank you.