Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
So … back from Emergency Vacation.
In a bit of a daze, still. But happy to be here.
And especially happy that it’s Friday.
The hard stuff
Recovery.
It took me (is taking me?) way longer to readjust that I’d bargained for. Ow.
Just feeling a bit shaky, I guess.
Back to work.
Piles of work. Piles.
And I’m so not in the mood.
Yesterday? I got up as usual at 5:30 a.m. Did my meditation. Did my wacky morning rituals.
Started working. For about oh, five minutes. And then straight back to bed.
Which was lovely, don’t get me wrong. But it’s so clear to me that I’m not in flow right now, and giving myself permission to not be there is taking some time.
CrankyPants McGrumbleBug strikes again.
Hmmph. Grrrrr.
Grumble.
Repeat as necessary.
Luckily though, in addition to all things grumbleworthy, there was definitely some good stuff too. Ooh. Yes. Good stuff. And some stuff that might turn out to be good stuff.
The hard that might be good
Roller Derby semifinals!
My beloved Guns ‘n’ Rollers are facing the Breakneck Betties again, this time in the semis. It didn’t end so well last time around … and I’m kind of terrified. But hopeful. But terrified.
Send our girls some love!
The good stuff
Energized.
Unbelievable. This vacation stuff works.
I’ve seen it happen to so many other people so many times but … I don’t know, I never experienced it myself so I didn’t realize how cool it is.
So, for example, my first day back at work I zapped through nineteen things on my Action Items List in two hours.
Nineteen things!
I’m used to getting through maybe two to three things in that amount of time. It was crazy. Crazy good.
Speed. Demon.
So I’m loving that. Loving how much easier it is to make decisions. How much easier it is to just not take on new stuff.
I know what I want.
Clarity. Serious freaking clarity.
Obviously the point of going on Emergency Vacation was to not have a nervous breakdown.
Well, actually it was to have it somewhere pretty. But in addition to healing all the things that were breaking, it really, truly cleared my head.
Remember when I couldn’t come up with any goals?
Okay, so now that’s not a problem anymore.
I know exactly what I want.
Now it’s just a question of figuring out the details.
Summer!
When we left Portland, there were these tiny little rosebuds everywhere.
When we came back, the entire city was in bloom. Roses. Insanely sexy roses. All over the place.
It’s the most spectacular thing in the entire world. And all of a sudden you go ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, right. So that’s why Portland is obsessed with roses.
I mean, yeah. I know they call it Rose City and everything but I never really got it.
Like the first time I visited Chicago in November and went, ah, that’s why it’s called the Windy City. Right.
Anyway, we missed it last summer because we were in Berlin. And it is nothing short of extraordinary.
Speaking of summer and being back home …
Our garden was completely transformed too.
Not only do we have roses like crazy, but all the sprout-ey things turned into foods.
We have beans and chard and beets and jerusalem artichokes and all things wonderful.
And — weirdly — since we didn’t know we had them, strawberries. Which are delicious, by the way. Thanks for asking.
Selma has a scarf!
A really beautiful one.
And since it’s not often you see a duck in a gorgeous hand-knitted scarf, I’m including a picture.
Thanks to wonderful Etsy-ite Warm Och Fuzzy (@sdsures on Twitter) who made it and sent it all the way from Scotland.
Is this not the sweetest thing ever?
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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I’m glad you are more focused now! I love that feeling.
The Good:
1) Accepted into large festival with awesome and popular arts component. Yay!
2) Scheduled interview for part time job. Double Yay!!
3) A friend loves me, and thus I am scheduled to get a 1 hour massage in the next week. Triple yay!!!
The Hard:
1) Job interview canceled at last minute. Am taking it -very- personally. Feel world is against me. Trying not to stomp around like Godzilla in Tokyo. RAAR, etc.
2) Feeling generally unmotivated and draggy. Lack of sleep and -very- odd dreams are not helping.
3) Trying to stretch my comfort zones socially, not having a lot of success so far. Trying not to be hard on myself for not doing better. Not faring to well on that front.
So, that’s my week. I hope we get some sun this weekend…we’ve had endless gloom and rain this week in my area, and I’m getting right tired of it.
Such a stunningly amazing week. I finally had the courage to really put my work out there (which was so scary that I literally had to turn off the computer for 2 days). I re-engaged with the world this morning and learned that people have actually liked it, and they’ve sent so much great feedback.
Of course, there’s still the question of where all this leads. And what it means. My “thing” is still somewhat unresolved. I’m working on being patient, and listening rather than moving forward 100 miles an hour like I usually do. That’s hard for me.
I’m so glad you’ve discovered exactly what you want. That must feel wonderful. The only thing I can say is don’t worry too much about the details. They will find you.
Lizs last blog post..Introducing the Elephant Manifesto
Havi, I’m so glad you’ve gotten a new sense of clarity, and energy from the vacation.
I hear you on the grumpy. I’m feeling that as well, and I realized that it’s really a freaking out that’s being tamped down until it just looks like grumpy. If anyone heard the Entrepreneurial Freakout call with Sonia and Naomi, you know what I’m talking about. Self-doubt. Fear. Unrealistic expectations.
One thing that I hope will help is a 1-week vacation from stats. We’ll see if I can even do that.
The good:
– discovered a practice to generate writing ideas that actually works for me. And put it into practice.
– got 90% done preparing a mini-ecourse that I’ll be offering soon.
– got invited to be on a panel by someone I really respect (but I had to say no because it wasn’t right for me)
The bad:
– agonizing about whether to say yes or no about the panel
– feeling completely stuck for ideas, until finally, a breakthrough.
– our senior dog is really feeling senior now, and worrying us.
That’s it. Hope everyone has a lovely, relaxing weekend.
Maryann Devines last blog post..Your Cultural Clipping Service
Thank goodness it is Friday! It was a week filled with a lot of hard, but also some good:
The Hard:
– Another resident (one of our favorites) where I work died. I know it is a fact of life when you work in a continuing care retirement community, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
– The semester started. Issues came up that I didn’t expect, but nevertheless had to deal with.
– A lot of sleep deprivation due to getting materials ready for the classes I’m teaching.
– Still being haunted by a tax issue with a former client that won’t go away. It was work I did 6 years ago. I resigned the account 5 years ago when I went back for my masters degree. It was one of those accounts that I wish I had NEVER taken on in the first place. Whatever I made from them is not worth all the headaches they have caused over the years. I know I share responsibility in this – I’m the one who didn’t establish proper boundaries on my time. But I’m feeling like that person in that shoe analogy Havi shared earlier in the week. “Why me? Why can’t this just go away? Why do I have to deal with it? I don’t have time!”
– A trip this afternoon to the dermatologist to remove a basal cell carcinoma from my face. I’m scared. Its my face we are talking about. Not that I’m any great beauty, but I’m still scared.
The Good:
– my student workers. They are the BEST! They completely came to my rescue when I was scrambling to put out fires.
– my classes! They went better than I hoped! I’m so psyched to be helping shape the lives of those younger than me. I’m challenging them to stretch their minds and they are responding favorably!
– my residents! They are AWESOME and caring and just a delight to work with!
– that I sat with my fears about the scary tax situation voice mail and then called the client back and agreed to sit in on the phone hearing. I am a professional, after all, and I need to take responsibility for my work even though the possible consequences (a big financial hit?) scare the heck out of me.
Thank you for continuing this tradition, Havi! I find it very helpful and I look forward to it each week.
Girl, I hear ya on the wow-it-takes-longer-than-I-thought-to-recover-thing. We should commiserate sometime with a Not In The Flow cocktail!
Here’s my check-in.
The hard was having a contractor in my house most hours of the day for the 4th week in a row. Lots of smells, noises and general non-alone time. I’ve seen more ass crack this month than I care to admit.
The good.
It was the last week of construction at my house! Our kitchen that’s been half finished for WAY TOO LONG is finally complete. And I now have a wee little garden that I just love to tend.
The other good.
I feel like I’m coming back into myself finally after all those horrid, energy-depleting tests. Feels good.
Happy, happy weekend! 🙂
Danielles last blog post..An update, a new blog and other yummy stuff.
First off, GadgetGirl…omg…good luck / thoughts / vibes going your way. Down with all unwanted cells.
The good? Getting back to Havi’s blog after a month away from it! And getting a call-back from a very cool local energy conservation org in search of two marketing managers.
The hard? Blowing the screening call and not getting a chance to talk to “the people who count” face to face. And spending a week with a sick, uninsured friend at a nursing care facility for the destitute.
More good? The healthcare workers there are absolute angels, and thank heavens for places like that, no matter how grim (condemned, actually) the building is. There’s a certain black humor to running a gauntlet of wheelchair bound panhandlers, and getting tips on working the medical marijuana system from the drug-addled roommate.
ddss last blog post..Kali the Gardener
So glad to hear your holiday made things better for you. That reminds me I should really plan one of my own… 🙂
Some hard for me this week:
Dealing with a task at work I really, seriously did not want to do. A pointless exercise that brought up all the crap of what was wrong between me and my manager. Ugh.
I’ve been feeling grumpy too. 🙂 Maybe it’s something in the air. Telling my friend/housemate that the short comic he has scripted isn’t all that hot is difficult. He takes it all so personally…
Lots of good stuff though:
Naomi (@ittybiz) talked about running a workshop in the UK, which may or may not happen, but while it’s a possiblity I benefit from having an imaginary Naomi in my head to talk to and ask questions, which is incredibly useful. (In case that makes me sound like a nutcase, I mean I’m thinking of what I would ask her in case I end up going to the workshop, and going through this in my head is clearing up a lot of thoughts and haziness.)
Been talking to someone about drawing some pictures for them and it’s been all kinds of exciting and scary. Regardless of whether I actually get some work out of it, I’m doing lots of stuff around working out what my hourly rate should be (practical stuff) as well as getting used to the idea that my drawings are worth money and I’m allowed to ask for it and that sort of stuff. It’s been just the right level of scary.
Working in a new department from next week. Ha! See you never, manager person!
Hurray for the chicken!
Willie Hewess last blog post..Awesome Steampunk Jewellery
The hard:
Starting to get really scared about money. Hope that means breakthroughs are on the way.
Still having a tough time learning to meditate & relax. And I’m starting to realize that, as melodramatic as it sounds, if I don’t learn how to meditate & relax, it will kill me. (Which doesn’t do much for the relaxation.)
The good:
Got my promo stuff for my workshop done this week.
Did some pretty good market research.
Just two more weeks of that awful Operations course.
These pets of ours are pretty damn cute.
Here’s to a good weekend for everyone!
Catherine Cantieri, Sorteds last blog post..Taming Time: Batching and zoning
The Hard:
-Met my mom’s new beau and afterwards got to hear my mother explain in painful detail why I’m selfish, overly opinionated, and no good with people.
-Had to stay with my mom for a week and discovered that the phone and email work she and I have done on our adult mother-daughter relationship is not coming along as well as I’d hoped.
-Got into Copenhagen and discovered that my luggage was still in the U.S. Couldn’t change clothes for two days.
-It’s cold and rainy in Denmark, though I am assured it’s not always like this.
The Good:
-When my mom asked her new beau how she felt the meeting with me went he said I was smart, funny, and very likable and that he couldn’t imagine why she’d been nervous about us meeting. She then apologized and I felt the tiniest bit better about my ability to interact with other human beings without alienating them.
-I’m in Denmark!!!!! ‘Go to Europe’ has been on my life to do list since I was 14 and now I can finally cross it off!!!!
-I get to see my partner for the first time since December. No more e-hugs. Real hugs, nearly 24 hours a day, until August!!!!
-The airport called about my luggage. They are delivering it to me in Arrhus free of charge this evening because the people who work at Danish airports are awesome. (Also big shout out to Scandinavian airlines – good food, good in-flight movies, kind attendants, I almost didn’t want to land.)
That’s my week. Only 6 more Fluent Self posts to read and I’m caught up on what I missed during my internet blackout.
Oh, fun with pronoun typos, new beau is a “he”. Mom is not a lesbian. That would make her too cool.
Keely H.s last blog post..Yahoo! App and 360 Importer
I know, I know. We do this every week but it’s still my favorite thing ever.
@Keely – ohmygosh – have fun in Denmark!
@Danielle – you should come to Derby with me. So. Much. Fun.
@dds – hi sweetie. 🙂
@everyone … oh I adore you all completely. Thanks for sharing the hard and the good with me and for doing the Friday thing together.
Sorry about all the hard and yay about all the good. I’m positive that if I just keep thinking about it I’ll come up with something more interesting that happened this week.
In the meantime, I know there are always the late-Friday-Chickeners so maybe they will inspire me to think of something else! I mean, you never know.
This week seems like it was all hard. My sweetie broke up with me. Feel like crawling into some hole on a different continent for a month or so.
So I’m doing this chicken to see if there was any good.
The good: Today I ran across Havi’s ‘you don’t have to face your fear’ post and was able to soften up a little bit and remember that I don’t need to conquer and get rid of all my horrible feelings.
Noticing that I have no idea what to do now and what’s going to happen, and occasionally accepting that.
Knowing I need rest. Being clear on that, at least.
Calling the cavalry when I was afraid of being horribly isolated and reminding myself that I’m not.
A mix of hard and good.
Hard: Went to the dentist with a dodgy tooth, and he referred me to an endodontist asap. Could mean a root canal, definitely means a crown.
But, the good: I went to see the dentist while the problem is still small and not painful. I didn’t wait until the problem got worse, as I’ve done in the past.
Hard: My lit review is still unfinished and I am feeling that I’ve started something I can’t finish.
But, the good: Almost done with reading the sources. Also good: Using the Pomodoro Technique (Google it) to break my work sessions into good-sized whelming bites. Worked on the review every day and gave myself permission to do only 2 Pomodoros on weeknights. Alleviated the guilt of not working on it around the clock.
Other hard: Hot and humid as hell in central NC. Feeling like I’m eating too much. Haven’t revived my moribund blog. (Want to get the lit review done first.)
Other good:
* Had my last meeting with a great counselor who gave me a neat calming technique to use.
* Had lunch on my own a few days this week, and had lunch with a friend and my wife, both unusual occurrences. (I usually lunch with my manager, and it’s gotten samey.)
* Meeting some friends for a Scrabble tourney on Sunday.
* Seeing “Up” with my wife and a friend tonight.
* Got a rather constipated project at work moving, at last, and got pretty far along. (Sorry for the unfortunate phrasing.)
Mikes last blog post..My future is assured
Late Chickeners, I like that 🙂
The hard:
Hormone stuff; really bad cramps this week, breakouts like I was 14 (though the oil keeps the skin looking younger, right 🙂 ? )
Still getting my footing back after the death of my uncle; I didn’t realize how important he was to me…
The sweet little border collie at the new yarn shop died from his sinus issues
The good:
My piece “Winter White” was accepted into the Ohio State Fair Fine Arts competition despite the “slide” making it look catty wompus; we deliver June 25 or 26
Cool Mini Mochi sock yarn in “Intense Rainbow” to make socks with 🙂
2/3 of the children who still live with me are finished with school
Making delicious treats from the Babycakes cookbook and having more vegetables in my diet again (so so good; I feel so much better already)
The green green green of the surrounding countryside and the wonderful scent of honeysuckle wafting through the windows on the evening breeze; wish you all could be here!
Have a great weekend, y’all!
Andis last blog post..An A-Muse-Ing Workshop
Hi Havi! (*waves*)
Surprise strawberries? Sweet!
My chicken
The hard: My ankle is still healing, my neighbor (Carl) died, I got “rerouted” from getting crappy SF health insurance, and I’m still unemployed. Icky icky hard stuff.
The good:I finally got my domain for my blog setup (now I just need content!), I got my disability check so I can pay rent, and my grandma is coming to visit next week. Nana is my favorite relative, so that last one rocks especially big.
Have a great weekend!
((hugs))
I have growing things envy! I’m glad your vacation helped, seriously — it’s always hard to come back, but worth it, I think.
The good:
I had a lunch date and it went well! It was technically a second date, though date #1 was like a year ago, so I’m thinking of it as more date 1.5, despite really not needing to number it.
Lots of people canceled on me this week, leaving me with free evenings and a lot of extra recovery time from last week’s social madness. Yes, this is really a good, even though I miss seeing my friends they’re all rescheduled for next week.
I cleaned out my closet! A friend came out and drove me to goodwill with about 6 bags of clothes and other oddments to donate. Some more corners of my life are now cleared up, and it feels good. I even unearthed some clothes I’d forgotten I had, tripling the number of real grown-up outfits I have to wear to professional things.
Made some real progress on a number of work things, both for clients and for myself. Antemortem Arts might become a reality soon!
The hard:
I felt like I had a lot of motivational problems this week. Spend most of Monday in a state of meh, despite the closet-clearing goodness. And yet, when I look back on the week, I got a lot done.
The pennies, they are pinched. Quarterlies are coming up. Lots of generally feeling money stress and tooth-grindingly worried.
Need to dust and vacuum, despite what it does to my allergies, and clean in general. I feel like I’m slowly making progress toward having a real grown-up, unpacked life, and yet, there’s dust bunnies all over the place. Blech.
Spring can’t decide if it came or went, and the weather is grey grey cold and grey.
Bonus good:
Kittehs are love. I’m finding a use for doodling. I have some really good ideas for Antemortem, once it gets going. There’s food in the fridge and cupboard, and ingredients for more when that runs out. And there is always hope.
Amy Crooks last blog post..Damming the Stream
I had 6 strawberries when I got home tonight, straight from my garden to my mouth. They were so good!
Riins last blog post..a pain in the neck
The hard: getting ready for a huge party at my house this weekend.
The good: Hey, party at my house this weekend!
@dds – thanks for the good vibes. The nasty cells are gone. There is a divot on my jawline. I was afraid there would be stitches since that is what happened to hubby when he had one removed from his chest. My fears were way overblown.
It is a little sore, but bearable. The headache from the lidocaine is worse. I’ll probably have something ugly looking for at least 4 months as it heals. Doc says the divot should fill in and be pretty much unnoticeable someday. Thank goodness it wasn’t on my nose.
@anna – sending supportive thoughts your way – so sorry to hear about your breakup.
Happy Weekend!
So glad Selma loves the scarf! Yay, it fits!
~Stephanie 🙂
sdsuress last blog post..Navy Blue Scarf
If there are late-Friday-Chickeners, I’m a very-very-late-Friday-Chickener! 😉
Surprise strawberries must be one of the best things in the whole universe!
I’ve been back from vacation for about a week now, and I totally hear you on the recovery time. After my previous trip, it took me weeks, maybe even a couple of months, to readjust and find my rhythm again. What can I say, I’m slow! I have to do it faster this time, ’cause I’m leaving again in about two weeks: Taos! Can’t wait to meet you there.
In the meantime, I’m catching up on things, which includes reading the 20 or so posts you’ve published since I left; it will be nice to virtually spend that time with you before hanging out for real!
Josianes last blog post..Creative vegan tip of the day!