A while back I made the sweeping editorial decision that I wasn’t going to write one of those “debunking the myth of overnight success” posts.
I just didn’t feel like adding anything to the whole Rome wasn’t built in a day thing, which is well-covered ground. And has plenty of bright, articulate people doing the covering.*
*If you do want some good stuff on this, start with Seth Godin, who says that it takes three years to be an overnight success, sometimes more. and that we should be patient.
But Rome also wasn’t built in a week…
Right.
So this weekend while I was teaching in San Francisco, the big thing for a lot of people I talked to seemed to be some variation on “No, really. What’s your secret?”
And not even any of my interesting secrets.**
**Like my secret to not having to buy shampoo. I just use my gentleman friend’s coffee grounds. There. No longer a secret.
No, they really just wanted to know what I did to become …
… an overnight success.
And then Sarah J. Bray who is an absolutely lovely person (and you all should be hanging out with her online), wrote a really interesting, thoughtful, astonishingly-well-researched*** piece about my … overnight success.
Well, not about the overnight-ness of it in a literal sense, but she did dedicate an entire post to reverse engineering the success story of this blog and figuring out how it happened.
***It kind of sounds like she may have read all three hundred and twelve of my posts, which is pretty hard-core. Wow. She totally gets the Fluent Self medal of perseverance.
So here is a short history of my overnight success.
And yeah, when I say “overnight success”, I’m referring to the overnight success that happened agonizingly slowly …
… over the course of the last four years.
March 2005
I’m living in a semi-abandoned not-exactly-a-squat place in East Berlin, teaching yoga and Dance of Shiva, and stepping gingerly over the junkies on the stairs.
I’ve started working on a genius system of working-on-your-stuff.
I’ve started sneaking bits of it into my yoga classes … but am mostly just furiously writing about it. And I decide that my system needs a name.
The name I come up with is an embarrassingly stupid one that I am also inordinately proud of… and I’ll only say that while Sonia Simone‘s hysterically funny guess of Soul Womb is off-target, it isn’t as nearly as off-target as one would like.
August 2005
In a bizarre and miraculous turn of events which I have already documented, I come up with the name The Fluent Self just hours before the website needs to go live.
Yes, this website — the one you’re looking at right now.
Because I’m pretty much the only, uh, “internet famous” person I know who doesn’t get a website design overhaul once a year.
September 2005
I teach a number of Fluent Self intensive workshops in Berlin. Three hours on how to use various wacky mind-body techniques (mostly mine) to change your patterns and habits.
Only a few people sign up,
But I’m doing it. And I’m excited.
December 2005
I move to San Francisco with a small suitcase and a sum of money that is so low that I don’t even want to tell you what it is.
The first edition of the Fluent Self noozletter (except that then it was still more of a “newsletter”) goes out to a grand total of five people.
June 2006
By this point I’ve been teaching classes pretty regularly all over the Bay Area. Classes on dissolving procrastination seem to be the biggest hit, as I learn the hard way.
I make some good connections.
By this point there are a hundred people who read my noozletter.
And I’ve thrown myself madly into studying everything related to business.
I take every single class the SBA has to offer. I read books ravenously. I drool over online courses and ebooks — but can’t afford them, so I keep up with the self-study.
Wherever there is free-ish information online, I absorb it, analyze it, categorize it and try to figure out if and how I can apply it to my thing, whatever that is.
June 2007
I do the smartest thing I’ve done so far — I start taking online courses.
It turns out that courses are where you meet people.
And then those people tell other people about you.
I’m still working on figuring out how to explain what I do and why it’s important, but I have clients. My workshops are doing well.
And I create my first product: Emergency Calming Techniques. And sell three copies. Whoo!
September 2007
Oh, thank goodness for the long tail. Sigh of relief.
Turns out that having products so that people don’t have to actually hire you frees up a lot of time and energy. And lets you help more of your Right People.
Rock. On.
March 2008
I get on Twitter.
All of a sudden introvert-me can hang out with pretty much whoever she wants and be a total goofball. Fun!
It turns out I like having fun way more than I like doing business-ey stuff. And it turns out that having fun is also way more effective than doing business-ey stuff.
I decide that I am going to officially give up “marketing” in favor of hanging out. Which is kind of what I was leaning towards anyway.
June 2008
My Twitter friends come and hang out with me here. More fun!
And, unlike most bloggers who are trying to figure out how to make money from blogging without a “god, you’re such a sell-out” backlash from their readers, it’s relatively smooth sailing.
That’s because I already had several products, long-term programs and an established coaching practice long before there was a blog.
So the fact that yes, you could theoretically buy things here if you wanted to was never a surprise.
July 2008
After much agonizing, I dump the noozletter.
I lose a thousand subscribers and there are a lot of people being mad at me in my inbox, but hey, I don’t have to write the noozletter anymore.
Anyway, this turns out to be the right decision for me — thanks to the magic of Twitter and the draw of the duck, pretty soon there are a few thousand more blog subscribers.
Life gets much better.
January 2009
I go on email sabbatical.
The joy!
July 2009
Hi.
So yeah. We’re here. And this blog is now kind of a second home for all sorts of interesting people.
Also, this blog pays the rent for three people and a duck.
I get to write about pretty much whatever I feel like, and — shockingly — none of my Right People seem to mind. I still work on mindfully biggifying, and at this point I’m willing to take my time with it.
Because, you know, overnight success wasn’t built overnight.
Thank yous and such.
To Sarah J. Bray (she’s @sarahjbray on Twitter) for making me stop and reflect on what happened behind the scenes.
To everyone who reads this blog and thinks about the stuff I write about.
To Selma, the best (and squeakiest!) business partner in the world.
To my gentleman friend for putting up with and believing in me when I was 100% convinced that no one would ever, ever care about the stuff I teach. And for promising that no matter what happened, I would never have to go back to bartending.
To you. Yay. You. I like you.
Comment Zen.
We’ve all got our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. And of course we don’t judge each other for having stuff.
Also, we generally try to respond to each other with as much compassion and respect as we can stand. Mensch-like: it’s how we roll.
Follow
Thanks so much for sharing, Havi! Now I need to go read sarahjbray’s post about you. Because you know I stalk you even and don’t leave comments…unless I get to be the first! (Yes, I’m enjoying this triumph way way too much.)
Seriously tho…thanks for sharing your *secrets*.
(And don’t mind my typos and bad grammar.)
I’m so glad to be reading this. I’m still struggling with the idea that if I don’t succeed instantly, I’m never going to succeed – especially since I’m going to be 30 next month and society says that’s One Of Those Ages. This post, and Chris Guillebeau and Seth and Jonathan, help remind me that it’s not just me, and for the first time in my life I’m actually feeling like that’s supportive. (It’s really easy for me to hear “hey, that happens to everybody” and think “oh god, now I have to feel bad for all of them too!”)
Also, commenting on your blog inexplicably makes me less terse. I was once told (by my seventh-grade Social Studies teacher, but it’s been a theme) that I can say in a sentence what everyone else takes a paragraph to say. I struggle with post length on my blog, and Twitter was a godsend – but when I comment here, all of a sudden I’m Tolstoy.
Anyway. Thank you for everything. I don’t think I can tell you how much you’ve affected me this week, and no appreciation I can give you will be sufficient for my tastes. But thank you.
@Claire – you just wanted to be first AND second! (heehee)
Thanks for reading my… er. maybe not mind this time, but heart today, Havi. 🙂 Overnight successes aren’t.
I know this intellectually, but once you start doing your Thing, well… part of me really wants everybody to just mob it all at once, and if they don’t there’s that little voice that says, “see, no one likes you!” Even though I know that’s ridiculous, sometimes I need to be reminded of it.
G. Romillys last blog post..It’s Bastille Day!
Havi, reading between the lines of your (highly condensed) four-year journey, I’m struck by the things you didn’t say. Those qualities of integrity, courage, heart, generosity, connection, vision, and commitment that you carry, and that make your blog such a hearth-fire here on the web.
I suspect many of your readers are drawn to your work because you share your own process so openly. You share the ways in which you use your work to transform your own patterns. And you make a safe, warm, loving space for others to share too.
And then there’s the Kitchen Table, with all its splendiferous feasts.
Thanks for all these gifts.
Love, Hiro
Hiro Bogas last blog post..What I Learned About Life & Business From Crossing The Road In Bombay
Thank You Havi for building success piece-by-piece.
What stands up for me is you did everything right at your own pace.
1. You invested in self-education
2. You created your own products and did put up salesletters that asked for sales
3. You started hanging out where your right people hang out
4. You kept in touch with people
4. And most importantly – you found your own unique voice
Its not one thing – but a culmination of things – that brings success.
Thank You for showcasing that to others!
Ankesh Kotharis last blog post..Deconstructing Hype: Why Do People Hype Up Products
See, I *thought* it was incredibly crazy/amazing that anyone could have so much community going after only two weeks. But my belief in your innate spectacularity (like that?) convinced me that it was entirely possible.
Yay, Havi!
Sarah Brays last blog post..Newsflash: Not everyone can succeed with online networking
Very cool but I REALLY want to know about coffee grounds as shampoo. Because we have coffee grounds. ANd we can’t feed them to the pigs and chickens and that sounds like a cool thing to do with them. Just saying. Maybe a link?
Otherwise, very very good to be reminded of the long road and read between the lines how fucking scary it must have been at several points there. Getting to comfortably paying the rent seems like such a big deal.
JoVEs last blog post..30-minutes a day
Wow, Havi. Thank you for sharing your online business timeline. I think I “discovered” you and Selma late last year.
I find it interesting that the noozletter is toast – yet you and Selma still prevail.
Anyhoo, your blog here and your Emergency Calming Techniques have helped me through some rough patches. Especially here on the blog, it’s like you have a secret window into the tumbling storm inside my mind. Your timing can be impeccable enough to bring tears to my eyes. But the tears become healing and you help me face a world that often boggles my mind.
Thank you for all your hard work.
RhondaLs last blog post..Goodbye, Lawyer Ron: We’re so sorry, Chuck
Oh, and you are so right about courses being good places to meet people. Folks should definitely take that into account as a benefit when considering the price — what kind of people am I going to meet? Is it worth the price of admission just to get to know those people?
JoVEs last blog post..30-minutes a day
@Chris – oh good! And I second you on the “Twitter was a godsend” thing. I mean, yes, I write way too much. But the short-and-sweet of Twitter lets me be succinct and I love it for that.
And I know what you mean about sometimes getting sucked into feeling bad for everyone else instead of cheered up.
@JoVE – yes, seriously. Nearly all the people who have helped biggify me (including some pretty famous friends) are all people I’ve met in courses that they were either taking or teaching.
@Sarah – see? Spectacularity! That’s why I adore you!
@Ankesh – as always, you get right to the gist of everything. Also, having “met” you is another one of my “favorite things about having a blog”.
yay!
I always love to find out how people I admire, that are living and doing their thing, got it going to begin with. I like to hear about Berlin and that you showed up in San Francisco very poor and still made things work. I get so stuck on not having the financial means to do things, and this reminds me I’m doing better than fine and have more than I need right now 🙂
AND…. very soon I’ll be joining the ranks of the Shivanauts. I’ll be ordering the Shiva Nata kit tomorrow and I can’t wait!
This is so great. 🙂 I had a deep sink of stuck today, I was fiddling with my numbers and could not make them read ‘profits’.
Patience. Yes, that might be an idea. I should try that. ^_^
(Oh, and since you pointed out your first ever post, I’ve been reading everything from the beginning, too. I’ve not caught up yet, I think I’m somewhere in mid 2008. Worth it.)
PS: the commentluv picks up stuff from my shop rather than my blog. What’s up with that? 🙁
Willie Hewess last blog post..Codename: Pepsi
thanks for sharing your story with us, havi – difficult parts and all, as always.
Havi–
Thank you for your email sabbatical. Someone who loves your blog was inspired to take their own and wrote about it, citing you as their inspiration. Then my friend read that article and wrote a blog post about it, citing that article.
Then I had insomnia and hyperlink-hopped myself to here.
I am so glad to find this.
Melissa
melissas last blog post..Walking Meditation
*high-fives Havi and Selma* Congratulations on your well-deserved success. 🙂
Also, this blog post couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been getting frustrated with my seeming elephantine progress on doing more non-day job work. Slow but steady, right?
Overnight success tends to look something like that. I always enjoy these stories.
BTW, if you moved to SF and had more than $100 in your pocket after you scored an apartment, you had a head start on me from when I moved to Boston (we won’t even go into how much money I owed at that time….).
Jonathan Vaudreuils last blog post..Greatness comes in all shapes and sizes
Thank you, I really needed to see this. 🙂
Yay Havi! Thanks so much for sharing this. In your post about the “launching” of things, you mentioned the need to gestate. Well now I get it! Even more, anyways.
It takes a long time. I read Seth’s posts too, and those were also helpful. Even more helpful was reading how your process looked like. It’s like a beautiful faerytale journey, and we’re all along for the ride. 🙂
Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..Organic Food: The Raw Debate Over Benefits of Organic
Well I am one of the people who found you after TWITTER. I love that you don’t “sell” on twitter. I love that when you write about what you know, you don’t make me feel stupid. LOVE that. That’s why I come back for more. Very cool to read about how you got “here”!!
rachel whetzels last blog post..Creative Day
This is such a great post! I think my favorite underlying message — aside from patience and perseverance — is that you found the biggifying tools that work for you, and let the others fall by the wayside, instead of forcing yourself into molds that didn’t fit.
Definitely something I needed to ‘hear,’ both for me and my clients!
Amy Crooks last blog post..Private Myths
@Amy Crook – Nice. That is so absolutely right on the money. In fact, if I could only give people one piece of advice, it would be to ignore the experts and drop all the recommended techniques that just don’t work with your personality.
@rachel – Oh hooray. Thank you!
@Jonathan – what, an apartment? What’s that? Oh, no. Couch surfing all the way. Also, some trading of yoga for places to stay. 🙂
@Melissa – that is the coolest thing I’ve heard all day. WOW. Awesome.
@JoVE – whoops! Forgot about the coffee grounds.
So what you do is just scrub them into damp hair and then give your scalp a good rub. Then rinse it all out.
I’m super sensitive so I have to do it in the morning or I get all weird, but that’s just me.
For conditioner I beat an egg with a tablespoon of lemon juice and a tablespoon of olive oil. And add a little rosemary oil (just a few drops).
🙂
Thank you Havi. You couldn’t know how much I needed to hear this
Even this part was important for me to read today:
Comment Zen.
We’ve all got our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. And of course we don’t judge each other for having stuff.
Kathleen
@thesavvyva
Havi, thanks for all of this. This is my fourth year in business, and at the beginning of this year I was depressed and wondering if I would ever show a profit. I decided if the business was going to survive, I needed a partner to do the things that I just really didn’t enjoy and procrastinated and just really annoyed me. I proposed the idea to a friend, and our new store will be going live this week, and she gave me a contact who loves my yarn and for the first time, I’m profiting. I’m so glad I was finally honest with myself about not being able to do it all by myself and figuring out that if my thing was going to work, I needed to just stop doing the parts I didn’t enjoy.
I don’t use shampoo either. No coffee grounds though. I just use conditioner (no silicones. If you use conditioner with silicones you need to shampoo them out) and my hair is so much nicer than it was when I used shampoo.
Riins last blog post..A Finished Object
Once again Havi, you’ve posted about one of the things I’ve needed most…HOPE. OK, maybe that wasn’t exactly the topic but it gave ME hope. I was appalled to discover I’ve been wasting perfectly good coffee grounds which probably work better than dollar store shampoo!
Up until March of this year, I thought computers were only for email and playing World of Warcraft. (Maybe watching your bank account dwindle, but that ain’t exactly “good”) I was beginning to think the hundreds of hours I’ve spent reading on the internet was just spinning my wheels, but if it put you, Seth, Chris and countless others into my head and heart; that is time invested, not wasted. Thank you for reminding me. Continue to ROCK!!!
P.S. Give Selma a squeeze for me.
steve weavers last blog post..Planting seeds
@Steve – YES! I keep hearing people talking about how they have to stop wasting time reading about business online.
I mean, obviously implementation is important too … but so many people forget about the necessity of “putting yourself through business school”. And there is such great information so easily available. It’s only the guilt that clogs up the works.
Consider Selma squeezed! (Squoze?)
I’m taking a deeeep glorious breath right now. Thanks for this post- the ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ stuff is definitely everywhere, yet I still need to keep hearing it. Over, and over, and over, and… you get the idea. It helps me sleep at night. It quiets the worrier in my head. It makes me take deep glorious breaths.
Especially hearing you story- someone whose work I love and admire to a giddy degree- is so heartening. Thank you!!
It’s my first time here on your blog and I love what you are doing.
Great post and a great reminder. I’m 3 months into setting up my coaching business… seems like I only have 3 years and 9 months until I become an overnight success 🙂
Thanks for the reminder.
Judes last blog post..Break from your routine and do something surprising