A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post called Questions. It also had the words Part 1 right there in the title.
Right. I totally meant to get to Part 2. And then forgot.
Anyway, it was this writing exercise thing.
By which I mean the following:
1. posing questions
2. scribbling down whatever pops into your head
3. and then marveling at how your subconscious is totally smarter than you.
The twist was that I did this exercise right after my Shiva Nata practice. If you’re not a fellow Shivanaut yet, the quick explanation is that it’s insane messing around with how your neurons connect up in your brain.
You do it with your body and you get wacky epiphanies while feeling ridiculously uncoordinated.
Back to the point. While I was teaching in Germany, I made everyone do this writing exercise after our brain-scrambling practice.
The stuff that came up was pretty cool. And surprising. So I’m posting my answers to the questions here.
And one more thing.
In case you didn’t read the comments from the last Questions post, let me just say that people got some astounding results from answering the questions, even without doing brain wackiness first.
So just know that you’re more than welcome to play with me and scribble your own answers to any of these questions too.
Oh, and I also want to point you to Emily’s amazing post based on these questions:
“Huh. OK. I need to let the waves carry me. To stop fighting so hard. To float and move with the waves. To appreciate that they are beautiful. To melt. To be easier. To swim. To love the waves.”
Awesome.
Okay. Let’s do this.
“What do I need now?”
Comfort. Rest. Strength.
Reminders. Reassurance.
To be with myself and know myself.
I need a place that is just for me.
Privacy. That’s what it is. I crave privacy.
And I crave it in so many different forms. In my business. In my home. In the room where I am staying. This is all about safety. Safety and protection.
Wow. I had no idea I needed so many things. Or so much of this one thing.
Or really, that I was desiring safety in so many forms and not even able to recognize the sensation of receiving it.
“What is next?”
Release? An opening? No.
It’s about me standing up for what I need.
Whoah.
Standing up for what I need.
Until two minutes ago, I didn’t even know what that was. And now I’m ready to stand up for it. This is about the sovereignty thing again.
“What would help me?”
Time? Patience?
Clarity.
Faith.
“What is missing?”
Safety.
That deep inner knowing (and the external resources to support it) that I am cared for.
“What do I forget to tell myself?”
That I am loved.
That there is time.
That I have the resources I need.
That I’m allowed to ask.
That I’m allowed to not know.
That I’m allowed to want these things.
“What is the most important thing right now?”
Quiet.
Tee hee! Freudian slip: my mind said quiet, but I wrote “quest”. Okay.
Making sure I get enough solitude.
Making sure that I’m the one who asks for solitude and that I’m the one who gives it. I have to be both.
Okay, weird. What does that even mean?
Is it that by being in a state of quiet I can access more quiet?
Mmmm. No. It’s something else.
It’s this:
I am the asker and I am the giver and both are good.
That’s it. Do you want to play too?
You definitely don’t have to do Shiva Nata first unless you feel like it.
And if you are Shiva-ing it up, three minutes … more than enough.
But yeah. Pick a question, any question. And start writing an answer to it. Or hell, you can answer all of them if you feel like it.
And then you’re more than welcome to share it here. Or something else that comes up. Or not. Either way.
Yay! Play with me!
Follow
oooh…that was weird.
I just did that really quickly without really thinking and so much has clicked into place about filling my creative space. And play. And pushing boundaries and colouring outside the lines.
wow. Thanks Havi 🙂
What do I need right now?
Reassurance.
I need to know that it’s ok to ask for what I need.
…that I’m not crazy.
…nor selfish.
…nor imposing on other people’s sovereignty thing by asking.
I need to know that people are not going to freak out on me.
…and that if they do, that’s their thing, not mine.
…and that this is totally NOT like those situations before. Like… before I started working on my own sovereignty thing.
I need to believe that every problem is solvable – whether or not it’s solvable by me, right now.
I need to go off and meditate for a while. 🙂
Thanks for this exercise, Havi.
.-= Charlotte´s last post … Every Problem Is Solvable =-.
@Charlotte – that is a *great* ask. You could turn that whole thing into a Very Personal Ad. I love it. Really powerful.
@Lucy – oh good! Colouring outside the lines! Good stuff.
Havi, this is such a valuable process. Asking these questions brought me to the realization that:
+ I can make mistakes and love myself anyway.
+ That I can hold the twin lamps of joy and love to illuminate my path.
+ That I can say No to that which takes me away from my joy.
+ That I can trust my heart to know what’s right for me now.
+ That I can trust the Universe to support and love me.
+ And that the most important thing is love.
Thank you so much for offering this process, and modeling it for us.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … The With-ness of We =-.
Havi,
I love these questions. I’m amazed at the instant response my unconscious pours forth.
What do I need? – More time to write & love. Love that I am feeling & giving to the people around me.
What is next? – Work. The transition from old to new. A pattern interrupt so huge that it’s taken me a year to prepare for it. But I’m ready now.
What Would help me? – Love for myself & Faith that I’ll find a way.
What is Missing? – Time. Time is being wasted but not by the rushing of my mind. The old pattern has a heavy toll that I’m tired of paying. My job is to let it go.
What do I forget to tell myself? – Breath first. Exhale & push on the false walls. Inhale & watch them disappear.
What’s the most important thing right now? – Faith & Action. Initiate the pattern interrupt and the vision will unfold. Don’t wait.
Extremely awesome Havi. Thank you so much.
.-= Lira´s last post … How Patterns relate to Change, or why I have a love-hate relationship with plaid! =-.
What great fun, my dear! Thanks for this opportunity to play!
OK… the questions:
What do I need right now?
Time
Rest
To write
To dream
To breathe
What’s next?
Waiting…. pregnant with waiting….being with the unknown.
What would help me?
Trust and Faith
What is missing?
Spaciousness, allowing the emptiness to just be there.
What do I forget to tell myself?
That I am loved, no matter what.
Everything is fine.
There’s no need to feel ashamed about anything, ever again.
It’s not all up to me.
What is the most important thing right now?
Relaxation, quiet, slowing down, feeling.
I feel MUCH better now!
Thanks dearheart!!
.-= chris zydel´s last post … Abuse Your Art Supplies =-.
What do I need now? – New surroundings was the first thing that came to mind. Which I know to be true, but I was just surprised it came first and so strongly. LIke, it’s time. (wow!)
What is next? – Bringing the business stuff online; letting go to move forward
What would help me? – Some extra self-care time (maybe that’s why I’m sick?); relax about that one thing because it really is okay and right where it needs to be; trust that the universe has this one in hand; trust that you’ll know what to do when the time comes
What is missing? Forgiveness
What do I forget to tell myself? I have faith in you.
What is the most important thing right now? Beginner’s mind; seeing that there are other possibilities that the one you’re seeing right now; more laughter
These answers might seem cryptic in some areas. And there was more, but it’s just that it’s about this really deeply personal thing. But I was surprised at what came up and what things came first. And at some things that just became clear.
This is good.
This is very very good.
Thanks!
deb
.-= Deb Owen´s last post … well-behaved women can make history =-.
What do I need now:
To be taken care of, to be loved. I need to know that everything is/will be fine.
What is next?
I dunno. More art. Meditation. Something that makes sure that I actually take care of myself.
What would help me:
Sport, art. Friendship and most importantly, a secure, safe daily routine.
What’s missing?
Safety. Love. Most importantly, respect.
What do I forget to tell myself:
That I’m worth to be taken care of. That I’m worth to take care of myself.
What is the most important thing now?
Love. No. Not love. POWER.
—
Huh. Everything’s reflecting back to me feeling power- and helpless and thus worthless. How odd. Never realized it before. What an interesting excercise.
.-= Carina (@chalcara)´s last post … Abandoned Powerplant; photos of =-.
Whew. Rough day today. Sure, I’ll gladly play with you; I can use the company.
What do I need now?
I need quiet, clean, uncluttered space.
I need self-compassion; I need to let people get mad at me without feeling so scared.
I need to listen to myself.
I need more clarity.
What is next?
I don’t know. I may melt down…
Change. Change is next, for good or ill. One way or another, changes are coming. The harvest is now: will it be enough to get me through the winter?
What would help me?
Love. Acceptance. Having people who love me listen to me, laugh at my jokes, share my burdens, pass the stardust when I forget who I am. (An image of the lotus in the mud surfaces…Nam myoho renge kyo. I’m not a Buddhist; I only think I know what that means, but it’s enough to know that it means something to me.)
What is the most important thing right now?
Claiming my space. Claiming my self. Claiming my territory. Claiming my own power…
Keeping the inner fire lit.
That’s it.
I’m imagining some sort of inner vigil. I may need to take it in shifts, with parts of myself relieving other parts of my self, all parts of me keeping vigil. Must keep that fire going. Mustn’t let it be quenched. Without it, I will perish. I must keep watch.
Sigh…Thank you, Havi.
.-= spiralsongkat´s last post … There’s a nap for that. =-.
Oh Havi, from the warmest part of my heart, thank you for your acknowledgement of others in the process, and your willingness to hold up a lamp to light the way. There are so many times when your writing just makes me want to jump up and down, saying “Oh! Oh! Me too!”
I can’t wait to try part 2! (But I’m going to wait, because I’ve been extroverting all week, and I need to give myself a little rest before I do this.)
.-= Emily´s last post … A-Ha! Extroversion for Introverts =-.
Thanks, guys.
I know this is all super personal vulnerable stuff, and I really appreciate how hard it is (sometimes) to even do exercises like this.