I am one.
Which is weird, because I spent the first couple decades of my life thinking anything even remotely business-related was extremely icky. At best.
But for reasons that I don’t understand*, I am like Rain Man. But for business.
*Actually, I kind of do understand, because I’m pretty sure it’s all the years of having Dance of Shiva restructure my brain.
It’s kind of creepy.
I don’t know how I know these things. I just know them.
Like this week at Barbara’s retreat. I knew what every single person needed to be doing in her business.
And it’s not like …. oh, the normal, conventional things. Most the time it’s not even things I’ve ever heard before. I just know.
Of course, I also know that most people aren’t going to apply it, but that’s more of a Cassandra thing than a Rain Man thing.
That’s not important right now. What’s important is that even without having bizarre intuitive superpowers, you can grow your thing.
You can grow your thing through the kind of biggification that happens in a really mindful way. Through the growth that comes from having agreed to work on your stuff.
And through knowing where you come from.
Beginnings.
As you know, I started my business from nothing.
But really from nothing.
I’ve posted about this all over the place, so I won’t bore you again with the details (no, wait, I will, living-in-a-semi-squat-in-Berlin-with-no-heat really is not fun), but yes.
I started the whole thing with my last 15 euros and they weren’t even mine.
And since I thought that making money was gross, there were possibly some problems with my plan.
The thing about coming from poverty that is really, really good is that it made me a fierce risk-taker. I see some of my clients terrified to do anything until they’ve built up say, a $30,000 cushion, and I think cushion? What’s that?
But the thing about coming from poverty that is really, really hard is that it’s very difficult to have a biggified perspective about anything.
Because what you know is so very, very small.
You have to have a sense of what’s possible before you can start biggifying.
It’s pretty hard to accomplish anything in business when your conception of what is possible is narrow, stuckified, and limited as hell.
When I started my business, I couldn’t imagine earning more than two thousand dollars a month. EVER. Like, at the peak of success. And even that seemed like a completely obscene thing to want. A guilty wish.
All those years working behind a bar in some dive in south Tel Aviv had created … narrowness.
There is nothing beyond survival. You either sell your soul or you don’t, but if you don’t (and I couldn’t) you can’t do more than tread water. And that is the entirety of what is real.
Flash forward five years. Not only is my own business thriving to the point that my gentleman friend was able to quit his job, but the limits on what I can imagine possible are pretty out there.
Not just financially, but in every way. Not just for me and my duck, but for my clients, my students, and all the neat people I meet.
Biggification without mindfulness is pretty useless, though.
If you ask me, the most important thing you can do in a business situation is work on your stuff.
This is also true if you’re growing your thing in a non-business-ey way. Like, if your thing is your poetry or your art or your teaching, and you don’t think of it as something that might become a business.
Either way. You have a thing (your thing!) and you want it to grow (even if some of the time you don’t because it’s scary).
Pretty much none of the stucknesses that come up in this process of growing your thing are connected to the thing itself, or to the practical aspects of making the thing happen.
Most of the stuckness is about your stuff wanting attention.
Which is legitimate, yes? That’s what your stuff does. And that’s why interacting with your stuff in an intelligent, conscious way is the best way to start biggifying.
Or to start being slightly less afraid of eventually biggifying.
Mindful biggification is way, way better than any other kind of biggification. Because you’re destuckifying as you go. You’re taking care of yourself. It’s important.
Where I’m taking this right now.
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about what I can do to give other people what I know.
Not the intuitive stuff — I don’t know how to teach that yet.
But I want to give people more than just go become a Shivanaut! Though yeah, that’s an important part of it too.
I want to contribute to the essential vocabulary of how business is done. Good business, non-icky business of the kind that my right people are interested in.
And I’m feeling both anxious and excited about that.
Because the stuff Selma and I have to teach is really freaking counter-intuitive. What I know to be true goes so completely against the grain. Against what all the boring experts say.
And even against what some of my friends-who-are-experts-and-not-even-slightly-boring say.
Anyway.
Expect that we’ll be talking a lot, as always, about working on your stuff and how that relates to biggification.
Expect some manifesto-ing it up for the dammit list.
And don’t expect any explanation of how I know this stuff. Because it just comes into my head. And then I do it. And then it works. And then I make my clients and students do it. And that works too. I can’t explain more than that.
But I’ll share what I can. Because it’s important.
Comment zen for today.
Hmm. Biggification = full o’ triggers. I hope it’s been really clear that I have my own share of stucknesses around this, and that I really do recognize how scary it is to work on this stuff or even to talk about it. That’s it. We’re all practicing.
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Havi I’m new to all this. Well I’m like 36 years new – thinking that maybe I may just have enough things/ideas/stuff/learning now to start a ‘business’ . Even though right now as it stands I am skint, yep a relatively poor person with nothing extra in my pocket for the bills, let alone or a Frappa-lappa-dappa-ciano (no big loss there I know)and all my skills are of the softer kind so kind of new territory to develop and practice. And yep those darn red letters just keep on coming thru my door and keep my dreaming in check!
But lucky, lucky me I also find myself in a space where I get these strong ripples of hope n ideas. I’m so inspired by this blog and grateful that you and the ducky one Selma are here in the world. ooo thank you guys! Does Selma like to be blown kisses via cyber spaces or is she only appreciative of socks? Hmmm..
Bt specifically thanks for reminding us that you’ve gone thru some really hard stuff. Goodness that helps me to hear it straight from the horses mouth so to speak. Especially since you’ve found a way of talking to stuckness/fear/issues in a way that doesn’t involve the self motivating positive talk of
‘Just do it!’ or ‘You can overcome anything’ or
‘All pain is an illusion’ or the damning voice of
‘For godsake woman what’s wrong with you? Your pain is no big deal – that’s life -just get on with it, quit feeling bad!’
So for now I’m reading every blog of yours that I can/time allows and brainstorming like crazy.
Let me say that I CAN’T WAIT to get some of the tools/products/wonderfully-juicy-magical-things from your shop as presents from people who love me this Christmas. How lucky am I? Lucky, lucky, lucky
So…another love letter to Havi, Selma and the journey all us chickens are on. I’ll calm down soon and stop taking up so much space here on your page!
Yup I’m like a drooling, overexcited, slightly annoying puppy who also looks forward to growing into a big ummm dawggg and eventually growing her ideas into reality and biggifying my thing on my terms.
Yay, yay, yay! Can I play too? This is what I’ve been noticing in my work too, coaching advocates working in shelter. The more they are digging into their own stuff, even gently, they more they are doing amazing things with their clients. It can be terrifying for them to be in their own process and see themselves so like the women they are working with. And yet, as SARK says in one of her books, ‘we’re all swirling in the soup together.’ So, count me in…for the discussion, the questioning, the hand-holding and high-fiving.
Havi, dear, I can’t wait to see, and to participate in, whatever you create next. You’re already contributing (hugely) to extending the vocabulary of how business is done . . . in compassionate, creative ways that embrace individual genius, quirkiness, eccentricity and our whole hilariously, painfully, heart-breakingly human selves.
So, whatever you teach, I know it will be original. It will be grounded in inner work, combined with outer action. It will be great fun. And it will be magic for those of us who seek a way of bringing the whole of ourselves into the business of business.
Love,
Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Whose Chakra Is It Anyway? =-.
Oh I am so excited for more about mindful biggification, I could read this stuff all day. One of the reasons I chose my thing is that I felt like it gave me a built-in excuse, (erm, justifiable reason?) to keep working on my stuff. And because I liked working on my stuff and loved learning about everything related and wanted to help other people do that, too. But I felt a teeny bit crappy about that reason, like it was selfish to want to do something that would allow me (require me) to work on my stuff. And here you come and say that doing your thing, any thing, means working on stuff. And I feel a lot less crappy. So thank you.
Havi, one of your main gifts has been translations. You know, taking the “M” word out of the mix. And your story…
“When I started my business, I couldn’t imagine earning more than two thousand dollars a month. EVER. Like, at the peak of success. And even that seemed like a completely obscene thing to want. A guilty wish.
“All those years working behind a bar in some dive in south Tel Aviv had created … narrowness.”
…reminds me: for you it was working in a bar, for me it was grad school in lit. Take a hundred people whose moms think they’re smart, dangle one $28K/yr job, and watch the bile fly. All because they wanted to tell stories! Took me years to realize that my time was, in fact, worth more than $1800/class/semester.
Of course, had I studied politics or marketing, I would have still told stories. With conviction and a paycheck, though.
A change of context can work wonders, no? Bravo to people who ask for what they’re worth!
Tweet tweet.
.-= William @ DIY Video Marketing´s last post … Newspapers Doomed, TV Next =-.
I heart this. And I am pleased-as-punch to witness your savant-ness seeing itself.
Back, now, to catchy words that begin with the letter H. Maybe augmented with the wacky shiva stuff to help it along.
Love.
.-= Amna´s last post … Germinational: @fabeku CAT NUGGETS!!! Always adorable and delicious. =-.
Stuff! We all certainly have stuff, don’t we? Every time I think I’ve finally figured out what my thing is, I end up talking myself out of it. Clearly, I have stuff. But, I also have hope, and I think that’s something that I have in common with everyone who visits your blog. I always start my day by reading your blog, and now I’m even more excited about continuing to read. I’m not a fierce risk-taker, but I get more confident when I hang out with people who are. Like y’all! Hi there!
My favorite part of this post: “Not the intuitive stuff — I don’t know how to teach that yet.” I love that you aren’t limiting yourself. Yet is a powerful three-letter word!
What I know to be true goes so completely against the grain. Against what all the boring experts say.
Ooooh. Whatever it is, I want to hear it!
Oh, this resonates so strongly with me! And now I feel weird for saying that, as I would totally never let those words leave my mouth in person. 😉
I am trying so hard to break out of my tiny mindset, and you’re so, so helpful. I find it so funny that I have a secret tiny dream-wish of being in the Kitchen Table, and yet I can’t even conceieve of being able to spend the money all at once on it, let alone getting in on the already long-looking wait list. Because I keep thinking, oh, if I sold just one of these paintings I could put in for the Kitchen Table… and then the voice whispers, what makes you think you’ll sell anything?
Oh, Stuff.
I’ll have to make time for a little Shiva Nata today before I start putting up the Etsy shop and spackling the corners of the new site, and hope my brain can conceive of biggified goodness!
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Wow, That’s a Lotta Art =-.
Hello Havi (& Selma & fellow commenteers). Short time lurker, first time comenteering.
This post was very timely for me- it got me thinking about my own stuck and yes, I am also one of those very stuck on that cushion of plastic paper. How much plastic pretty paper do I really need to sleep in and is it helping with my thing or is it quietly preventing my own biggification (and leaching plastic chemicals into my body? Maybe making a blanket out of the plastic money wasn’t such a good idea…)?
I look forward to what you have in your brain candy store to share with the the of us!
but that’s more of a Cassandra thing than a Rain Man thing.
Mom named me Cassandra because she knew my father was Greek. I guess baby books didn’t come with the history lesson back in the sixties. 🙂
Big old resonation!
I am a savant at what I do (although I don’t yet know what to call it) – formally, I’m an evaluator. And I’ve been realizing that I’m just naturally bent this way, and it’s like I can’t even help myself, being good at it (I like to say I’ve parlayed my judge-i-ness into a fruitful career). I notice this also in my friend who is an organizer/home stager – she walks into a room and she cannot HELP but to say “oh – move that there, get the TV off the floor, put down a rug to ground the space” and voila – a total room turnaround!
So – besides figuring out how to talk about the savant-y-ness (luckily we have YOU for that) so that we can get more business doing our magical thing… When it comes time to teach OR to share / empower others to do for themselves what we just did FOR them, I think some of it is sitting down and documenting what comes so naturally, which is hard, since it.. comes so naturally. It IS figuring out how to teach the intuitive stuff… Maybe it’s asking for a witness/process documenter who can catch each of your magic moves that you’re not even aware you’re making, or may devalue as “well, everyone does that/knows that”… A process rebirther? Ewwww…
Thanks for keepin’ on, keepin’ on!
I can’t tell you how much uck-ness this eased for me.
I’ve been poor…really poor. Like rice was all I could afford to eat for 6 months poor. Wearing different shoes to school because the other ones were busted and past being recoverable with ducttape poor. I started working at 13 years old to bring money home for food poor. Being homeless poor. Let’s just say that adulthood was a relief.
So I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from. About knowing I can handle whatever happens, as bad as it gets. But I also know about the voice that whispers “Why would anyone listen to me?” I struggled so hard just to get to normal.
You speak to me and you love dance. I really can’t wait to see what you’re creating.
.-= Hayden Tompkins´s last post … C is for Cookie! =-.
I’m about to hop on another plane, so I need to keep this short, but just wanted to say that I adore you all madly, all of you.
And that I also feel relieved that you guys get it. And me. Thank you!
xox
h
“Because the stuff Selma and I have to teach is really freaking counter-intuitive. What I know to be true goes so completely against the grain.”
Except for some of us, it makes perfect sense.
“against the grain,” another metaphor. Interesting. I see your work as helping your Right People, yourself included, tap into the flow of things.
The “You have to have a sense of what’s possible before you can start biggifying” section– yeah, I need to work on that.
I very much look forward to future posts on this.
.-= claire´s last post … Dance Dance Revolution: The Beginning =-.
sounds like the creativity stuff I teach also very counter intuitive
very much looking forward to future posts on this!
I find it interesting that my thing does involve working on my stuff. Partly because up until I found the thing, I didn’t really know I had stuff to work on. And I do know that the more I work on my stuff, the better able I will be to help others.
Hee .. I am one of those people who is waiting for the cushion. Which in one sense is good, because I know it will help the part of me that is scared feel ready. But in another sense, I know there is really no amount that will feel cushion-y, so it’s not really helping in the way I think it will.
I loved Rain Man. Idly wonders what would be the equivalent of Vegas for business.
.-= elizabeth´s last post … i wonder =-.
Hey Havi and everyone
It’s the counter-intuitive side of your work that has given me permission to trust my instincts. I’ve been surrounded by ‘experts’ saying I should be doing more ‘sales’ and it’s always made me a bit pukey.
And yes, some of that was (is) my stuff, and some of it is that it’s just so *out* of how I do things.
Me and my small-business friends are always talking about how running your own business is about working on your stuff.
Michael Port quotes someone wise when he says ‘Every business problem is a personal problem.’
Totally.
(Though, Michael, I will *not* find a target market. Sorry.)
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last post … Friday list #2: a chipmunk called me fat =-.
Aiieeee!!
And you know what I find so amazing about this fabulous stuff (at least in my story)? That the need for biggification is not, repeat not, a one-time, now-you’re-done, phew-I-did-it, congratulations-and-thanks kind of thing. Because you can “grow your thang” and then-whoops-life happens (hello, recession) and there we are again. And it’s not easier just because you did it before. Because your stuff, sneaky stuff, keeps adapting and changing and trying to stay ahead of you, morphing into new and improved layers of stuck! So in other words, Havi, I can’t imagine anyone, anywhere, at anytime NOT needing the briliant “savant” you have to offer.
Ahhhhh, this is so wonderful and organic. It’s like breathing in and breathing out in the most natural of biggified kickass mindful ways, and I love it! And I can hardly wait (but I will, totally impatiently) to share in the wonder, because you inspire me Havi. And I know I have a lot of stretching and growing to do – and a hell of a lot more dance of Shiva-ing to mess up – before I come home to the place that’s been waiting for me to own . . and I know that while I’m on the journey, I can watch for the candles you light along the path and not get lost. And for all of that I am so grateful to you – and to Selma, of course. – g
.-= Gail McConnon´s last post … Not Everyone Thinks You Are OLD =-.
“the most important thing you can do in a business situation is work on your stuff” – oh, it feels good to read that! Mostly because that’s what I’ve been doing (or, at least, trying to do) all year. Even though I wasn’t directly working on my thing, it was very clear to me that the working-on-my-stuff thing was part of what I had to do to make my thing happen – but still, it’s good to have confirmation that I’m not alone in thinking it was that important.
I can’t wait to know more about what’s coming up! I want to move forward in resolving some more of my stuff and with finally getting my thing out there, and it sounds like what you have in mind would be very helpful to me.
.-= Josiane´s last post … Noticing – the dragonfly edition =-.
Bouncing with excitement, happiness, and hope, and eager to discover what happens next. I am so glad I found this website!
.-= spiralsongkat´s last post … We can’t do it all…or can we? =-.
I just want to say thank you, today, for mentioning that my thing doesn’t have to be a business. Because I’m not sure it is. Or at least, not yet. But it’s my thing, and it matters to me, and so I can get de-stuck and sit with my stuff and it doesn’t have to be any more than that.
Ah. I’m feeling more zen already. 🙂
.-= Amber´s last post … Making Space for New Things =-.
I think one of the reasons why I enjoy reading your blog so much Havi is that you’re totally right there tapping me in the shoulder (in a loving way of course) urging/prompting me to suck it up and just do it already. I’ll admit it, I haven’t done it just yet, but I can FEEL the desire on my end getting too strong for me to continue to ignore the biggification.
And for that I thank you (and Selma!)
I’m looking forward to these counterintuitive tips. it def takes the BORING out from biz talk
.-= Prime´s last post … Bulusan Lake: I should really go for some swimming lessons =-.
What I keep realizing when reading your blog and everyone’s comments is something that brings tremendous relief over and over again: I often have the impression that EVERYONE I know who is roughly my age (late 30s) seems to have “sorted out” his or her life (I know they probably haven’t but you know what I mean). And I keep thinking, damn, I still haven’t found what I REALLY want to do in life and I am still working on so much stuff and I am still so reluctant to take risks. So it is so so good to read how many of us are still searching in a way, are trying to summon up courage for an important step, are willing to work on themselves. So thanks to Havi and everyone for being so open and inspiring:-)
Maybe risk taking is easier when one doesn’t know what a financial cushion is. I was brought up in a family with constant talk about the need of financial cushions, pension funds, saving plans… This has actually created a lot of fear about spending money and investing “in myself”, this is always somehow connected with guilt. I keep bullying my husband because he spends a lot on a hobby that truly nourishes his soul – and I would rather see that money in a savings account (and I can clearly hear my father talking, arrgghh). Another pattern that needs to be de-stuck.
@ Elizabeth, I am like you, there is no amount that would feel cushion-ey enough anyway!
@ Havi: “Since I thought making money was gross…”. I have come across quite a few people in artistic or healing professions who have said the same.
A yoga teacher I very much appeciate said once “There is nothing wrong with money, it is all about the attitude that goes with it.”
I adore this post. Lots of greatness in it, but my favorite part is the title & complete ownership of your genius from your heart, clearly not coming from ego. It is freedom. Makes me feel free.
.-= Kate T.W.´s last post … Dead Days =-.
“I knew what every single person needed to be doing in her business.”
Wow. I want to keep you in a cage and have you tell me what to do.
What – that doesn’t sound like fun for you?
Bring on the counter-intuitive intuitive business stuff! I can’t wait to hear it.
What do you do when the thing you’re really good at doing… isn’t a thing you like to do for very long? An hour here or there is fine and easy, but making a job out of it? No way. And everyone who knows you keeps telling you how good you are at this thing and how you should make a career out of it!
.-= Pirate´s last post … In Which the Pirate Struggles. =-.
Ooooh, I loved this post! 🙂 xo
.-= Jessica Reagan Salzman´s last post … Routine, Interrupted =-.