Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do it.
Thing 1: back-up!
Here’s what I want:
So my Biggification 2010 program filled up before I even got around to announcing it, officially or otherwise.
And my Destuckification Retreat has one spot left (?!), after it was briefly Item!ized the other day.*
Which is brilliant. Thank you, Very Personal Ads of Sundays past.
What I want now is a back-up list. Because some people may not make it past the final interview stage.
And you can pretty much count on someone having to cancel for whatever reason.
* Note to self: add “Item!ized” to the glossary of Fluent-Self-isms. Along with Havilanche.
Ways this could work:
I could ask my First Mate to set up a waiting list.
Maybe there is some elegant red velvet ropiness that could happen there too.
Some other, better idea could come to me.
My commitment.
I will be madly appreciative of all the amazing people who want to be a part of my stuff.
And I will try to set up my systems in such a way that it’s really clear what to do and how it works.
I will do a little jig.
Thing 2: Some time off. In a regular sort of way.
Here’s what I want:
I want to go back to taking the day off on Wednesday.
Admittedly, this was only ever a theoretical construct but what the hell. It was one I kind of liked. Even if never actually happened.
Here’s how I want this to work:
The power of logic.
Since I often teach classes on the weekend, I don’t really have a weekend. But I forget that, since I don’t do work-work (i.e. in front of the Infernal Machine) on weekends.
It is time for me to really, truly, not-just-theoretically start counting teaching as work-work, and to insist on a weekend in the middle of the week.
I’m ready to start assimilating this new definition of work-work, and to notice when I start to marginalize what I do just because I happen to enjoy it.
My commitment.
To make this a high-priority thing.
To ask for deguiltified reminders from my gentleman friend and the group leaders at the Kitchen Table.
To schedule a few non-work-ey things on Wednesdays that are purely enjoyable, so that I don’t accidentally slip while I’m getting acclimated to this new pattern.
To be patient with myself. It may be a long time coming, but it’s still a big, symbolic shift and I am allowed to take my time with it.
To not let people lecture me about how I should have done this earlier or how it’s so obvious that work-work is a broad thing. Or whatever. I don’t have to be lectured.
Thing 3: I have a thank you
Here’s what it is.
I don’t know if you guys remember this but a while back I had an ask for my Sacramento Biggification Day.
Specifically, I wanted Right People for it who were awesome. The program filled up within a day or two, and pretty soon we had a waiting list as well.
What I didn’t realize though was just how right those Right People were.
This is basically the best thing in the entire world.
So I teach about the Right People thing all the time, but the reality of it is still mind-boggling.
On Friday I had the pleasure of spending the day with some of the brightest, kind-hearted-est, silliest right people in the history of right people.
I genuinely adored every single person there, and they all got on fabulously with each other.
The amazing thing was that it was only one day — and still by the end of it there were all these beautiful friendships.
And everyone was completely committed to biggifying each other up in a sincere, loving, hey-we’re-in-this-together sort of way.
Thank you, right people. Thank you, concept of Right People.
To everyone who came (from London, Chicago, New Jersey, Tucson, Seattle, Portland and all over California) to spend one day with me:
I like you so much. And I believe in you so much.
To the idea that I am allowed (and maybe even required) to work with the kind of people that I like being around — people who get me and like me, wow.
You have changed my life, you crazy, sweet little conceptual thing.
Thank you!
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
The update on what’s happened since last time.
Really, really good news!
First off: I wanted help getting through the fog.
And I ended up getting in the zone (thanks to a combination of a brilliant session with Hiro and doing some Shiva Nata).
I got more done in two days than I’ve managed in months. Zoooooooooooooom. It was fantastic.
Thanks to those two days of mad accomplishings, I was able to brunch thricely, which was lovely.
I also wanted sovereignty help with my difficult situations. It feels better. Does that count?
Way less upset, at any rate. Getting the monies from one person and still waiting on the other. But am over being hurt. That’s the extra-important thing. I’m still committed to doing what it takes to get the monies.
The other thing I brought up was my holiday list of businesses I’d like to see biggify. And I can’t really report on that yet because who knows. But time will tell.
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. š
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Follow
Hey there š I’ve been doing that whole passive thing over the months you’ve been writing these ads, then I finally woke up and applied it to my own situation.
What I wanted to share was that I was amazed at how it shifted so much stuck! The simple act of stating what I want (need) seemed to release so many internal barriers that I wasn’t really aware of consciously. Now everything has shifted, I’m being more proactive in creating the best conditions to make it more likely to happen for me.
Wow. Doing *is* better than just watching. Thank you xx
My Very Personal Ad(s) for today:
1. For the remaining spots in my Become Your Own Business Adviser program to fill up with wonderful, loving, kind-hearted, creative, committed people.
My commitment: To create a space for learning, practice and growth in which each person in the program feels safe and supported, so they can shine the light of their genius more brilliantly in the world. To make a space where each person can reliably access their skills, wisdom, gifts and love.
2. To have spaciousness and ease in my schedule, backed by a flow of support.
My commitment: To create a structure for my week that lets me have quiet, reflective time and space each day. To have a full day with no commitments, each week. To be mindful of my needs, and to meet them lovingly.
.-= Hiro BogaĀ“s last post … Sunday Poem # 12 ā Buddhist Chronicles 2 =-.
@Emma, wow, that was very convincing. OK, here goes!
What I want: affordable studio space not too far from my place (say, a 20-minute bike ride). All I require is a room with a window and a door that I can lock. OK, and an electrical outlet. Size is of no importance: 10 sq m is plenty. I don’t even need heating. But please, leaky, moldy and/or flooded buildings need not apply.
How I could find it: I doubt that anyone in this country is reading my Very Personal Ad, but it’s all about the asking, right? So: I could put up some signs in my neighborhood. I could do some networking (gah). I could tell everyone I know that I’m looking and cross my fingers. I could brainstorm and come up with a creative solution.
My commitment: I’m going to put more effort into my search starting this week and give it the time it needs. And when I find you, studio space, I will love you madly. I’ll take great care of you. I’ll dedicate plenty of time to our relationship, and I promise we will make lots of beautiful things together.
Sarah, after reading that I wish *I* was a studio space!
.-= Emma NewmanĀ“s last post … That whole asking and getting thing =-.
@Emma, @Sarah – That makes me full of smiles. Both the lovely description of the studio, and the response. š
As for my own personal ad, I would like a smallish space in my day for writing. In theory, I should be writing as part of my job–but the writing part keeps getting buried under a million other urgencies.
It’s the part of my job that I love 90% and get to do 10%.
So I want some space. A little space in my workday for writing.
What I Want: I want to finish writing my dissertation, quickly and with a minimum of stress. More specifically, I need to turn in chapter 3 before I go on Christmas vacation.
How This Might Work: MAGIC!!!! Please! Bring on the Magic. In vats. Like a long soak in a jacuzzi filled with magic.
And nightly writing sessions. With a dash of inspiration. Oh, and patience.
My Commitment: Prioritize it. Love it. Be it.
And really do it nightly, no matter how stressed we are from workola.
And remember that we chose to do this and it’s really not so horrible, even though it’s been going on forever and ever amen.
*****
update on last ask: My last ask was that the workshop I went to in Hamburg was magical (I’m sensing a recurring theme, here…). It wasn’t quite as magical as I would have liked, but I’ve decided that Orff Schulwerk is in fact magical and I’m going to get myself certified in it, dammit.
I am asking for:
The energy and inspiration to finish my remaining two preliminary exam projects (yes, that’s right! two! on Friday it was four and now it’s TWO!!) in time to email them to my adviser for feedback by Wednesday, December 9, at 9 AM.
How this can happen:
1. Shiva Nata, baby! Whether it’s an instant-karma source of creative juices, an analog to Dumbo’s feather, or a bit of both, I can totally use it as fuel for this adventure.
2. I can ask for loving support.
My commitment:
1. I will tell perfectionism to take a holiday. These projects do not have to be perfect. I just need to have a completed something that can be shared and discussed. The hidden blessing in getting them done by December 9 is that there will be plenty of time for polishing before all seven projects are officially submitted to faculty on January 11.
2. I will continue to believe that this is possible — even when it feels very very improbable — and I will act accordingly.
3. I will breathe.
4. I will breathe again, a bit deeper this time.
5. I will remember that self-compassion is much better rocket fuel than self-abuse.
Wishing all of you generous sprinklings of fairy dust for all of your asks!
.-= spiralsongkatĀ“s last post … That tiny thing with feathers, which is hope =-.
Havi:
Have I told you lately how much I love you? You are a genius at asking and I love how thing have been turning out for you. and ever since I too decided to ask, things have happened in amazing wasy.
First, the update:
– I asked for the web designer from heaven: mission accomplished
– I asked for someone to reformat and understand my questions about my worksheet: an angel from heaven read that RIGHT HERE in these want ads, knew exactly what I was looking and is helping me.
Ask:
-I’ve started a blog. I’m writing consistently with a clear message and important stuff I want my right people to fine
-I want subscribers to my blog to comment regularly at http://www.the-first-step.com
How this could happen:
-people could see this ad here and go to my website, read and comment
-people could tweet about this
-people could talk to each other about this blog and send the link on to each other
-facebook and other social media sites could notice
-business and other forums that i’m a member of – people could respond after i post an ask there (or even before)
-so willing to be surprised
-people could link to my posts
My Commitment:
-i’ll respond to the posts with empathy and guidance when I am asked to do so
-i won’t have expectations – just a willingness and ability to be available for interaction
-i’ll provide resources as requested if I know of them or be willing to look for them as time permits
-at some point, i’ll be linking to others websites and others could send me via email char@the-first-step.com a blurb about what they do and how that might support patients and caregivers so that i have the information handy and can use it easily.
thanks for this havi – it’s really the greatest thing since sliced bread.
i’m so glad that everything is working out with the people you owe money to.
.-= CharĀ“s last post … Beginning Again. . . . =-.
@andrea – Magic Jacuzzi! š
I’ve got a lot of asks. So these are more the things I *want* to ask for–
Use more of my free time for creative pursuits.
Feel comfortable and happy making mistakes in said pursuits. (that is a big mind-shift for me)
Gracefully juggle working on my stuff while trying new things (relationships, creative pursuits, whatever) and encountering ‘new’ stuff off mine that I didn’t know I had. I’m sure there is a simple way to do this… maybe by not trying so hard.
I want to have a schedule that I can thrive with. Lots of creative and active things, and lots of genuine rest time too.
Oh! And since a lot of my clothing items are unraveling for one reason or another, (!) I need to rebuild some pretty big sections of my wardrobe. This is an ask I really feel comfortable asking- I need to acquire clothes and shoes (size 11, sigh) that *fit* well, that are really nicely made, of natural materials, that are going to last and look nice for a long while, and that I feel are really my style, instead of something that “will do” that I really don’t like, or makes me feel dumpy. I’d love to be a snappy dresser š just by reaching into my closet.
My commitment: To have my eyes open to what my tastes really are, to not dismiss myself out-of-hand as foolish or extravagant when I’m not really being so. To take care of such lovely things so they last and look good (NO letting the dog eat holes in sweaters, bras, jackets, undies!! No dismissively throwing everything into the wash pell-mell.) To make a small space in my budget, and in my schedule to actively rebuild what has really been reduced to such a small unhappy selection that I am surprised I’m not nekkid!!
Well š
It’s a start. š
<3
Ingrid
Hey
For today my main ask is for me to find ways to understand and comfort myself with the degree of guilt I feel around trying to establish appropriate boundaries with my ex. Four years on and he still feels he can pop up when he wants. Doesn’t respect that it upsets me and then flips out when I make my request again.
I would like to find a way of comforting myself somehow when I feel so bad to know that he is hurting, does not have ‘enough’ loving feelings within himself and that I am for now at least a trigger for his pain.
I would like to trust that he will be alright and to trust that his feelings are his to handle alone and no longer my business to clean up or respond to.
I have an interview for a place that I suspect is not a fit. I would like to find a way to sit comfortably with any decision that I make.
I would like to feel clearer boundaries around myself so that I am somehow able to do my smiley welcoming office job on reception and at the same time be in my space, my boundaries signalling I will not accept shoes thrown my way.
I guess I need to access comfort, reassuarance.
I need this for the waves of self disgust that keep coming to the surface when I feel I have hurt my love.
I would like to speak kindly and gently to my fears and painful bits. I would like to give myself hugs that make me feel safe and protected.
Thanks all.
Love.
Uh-huh I want (doo-doo, doo)
some people (doo-doo, doo)
to call (doo-doo, doo)
my own (doo-doo, doo)
I want some
Right People
so I don’t have to dream alone. ^__^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dimASX52avY
.-= BlueĀ“s last post … Mad Men 1.6: Babylon (part two) =-.
Oh, and Bobby Darin really is just one guy.
.-= BlueĀ“s last post … Mad Men 1.6: Babylon (part two) =-.
We’re in UK for Christmas, so please:
* Time with Mum, Dad, Nan, Mum-in-law without feeling too rushy.
* Still some time with S.
* Every day:
~ meditation (duh!)
~ keeping up with finance stuff (invoicing, bank stuff)
~ one hour-long walk
~ one blog article started and finished (content for next year)
~ a bit of internet-ing
~ 30 rows knitted of the scarf I was going to give to S for Christmas 2008.
~ Tiny tiny tiny bit of Shivanauting/yoga
++ My commitment ++
~ Talking about what I want
~ Checking out my assumptions about what’s expected
~ Remembering that we’re doing a lot of family seeing, and that takes priority
~ Holding it all lightly
~ Noticing opening and closing, and exploring the closing
~ Staying in Yoda
*****
Updates: last week – got some time for writing, had some lovely family time, got time with S.
It’s good.
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheartĀ“s last post … Friday list #5 ā jet lag blogging : eep =-.
@Blue Bobby Darin!
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheartĀ“s last post … Friday list #5 ā jet lag blogging : eep =-.
@Nenah that doesn’t sound like any fun. I hope it gets better! *hugs*
First try at this, so no updates here.
What I would like:
To know that we’re going to have enough money to drive up and see my family at Christmas.
To find a place that’s not a total dump and affordable enough for us to move into within the next month or two.
To get a part time gig/job so that I can put a lot of effort into my thing without feeling like a terrible person since it’s not making money yet. (We’re getting my car back, fixed this week, today actually – before that, we only had one car, so Matt’s been the only work working at a steady job since we moved here.)
How it could work:
The p/t job, if I can get it, should help out a lot with travel expenses.
I could keep checking Craigslist and the Greensheet/other classifieds for jobs & for places.
A former client could email me and say they have more work…though I’ve been wishing that client would do so for a while, to no avail.
I could hear back on one of the jobs I’ve sent in emails about.
My commitments…
I’ll do everything I can to find that perfect job that works out.
I won’t freak out and start losing sleep over all of this, because that doesn’t help anything and it also makes me kind of crazy.
I will keep doing yoga every day because things are much easier when I’m doing yoga than when I stop doing it, even for a day.
I will stay optimistic, dammit!
My ask this week:
I’m wanting my own experience of Zooooom, so that I can implement some of the ideas I’ve been having and get them out into the world.
Ways this could happen:
I could give myself lots of permission to start small, and that might help me get moving more.
Perhaps some Shiva Nata might loosen things up.
My commitment:
To do Shiva Nata regularly. To listen to my Self when she tells me what she needs, and give those things to her.
.-= Victoria BrouhardĀ“s last post … Quitting the Man: 34 Days Since Freedom =-.
@Havi I did put some socks on my xmas list after seeing your post last week. Even if no one gives me any, I may buy some myself because they look awesome! š
No news to report on past asks, so…
This week:
I would like to finish reading Emotions Revealed before it’s due later this week. I could set aside more time to read &/or maybe it’ll be renewable so I don’t have to stress about it.
I’d also like some business clarity. Just starting small with print-on-demand site but in thinking ahead wonder if my name should be the brand or if I should call my shop something else which might give it more heft. And then what to do about my quasi anonymous blog? Connect the two (shop & blog) in both directions or just blog-to-shop, either way losing various amounts of anonymity? Hmm.
Ways this could happen: I could write about it more since that helps me think. People could offer suggestions/insights, relate their experience with similar scenarios, allowing me to take in the information to make the best decision for myself. The answers could just come to me, perhaps during/after playing some DDR.
My commitment: to be open to the ideas and points of view I encounter from within or without but not beholden to anything that doesn’t seem right for me. Willing to listen plus a dose of sovereignty.
.-= claireĀ“s last post … Gettin’ My Groove On… (vol. xiii) =-.
@Emma, I’m going to take courage too and write an ad.
1. I’d like to find the right apartment to live in, as soon as possible. In my dreams, it’s in my home suburb, is full of light, feels open and full of possibilities, and has space for a dining table so I can have friends over for dinner. Maybe the apartment I’m going to see today could be it, and my application will be accepted?
My commitment: I will keep looking and have faith that I’ll find something, and not get discouraged. I will make my new apartment, when I get it, a sparkling, loving sanctuary for me and friends and a launch pad for the bunch of cool things I want to release into the world in 2010.
2. I’d like some clarity on a relationship issue. When is something fixable, and when is it a dead end?
My commitment: I will not catastrophise or attempt to rush things into clarity or closure. I will behave with love and respect and treasure the good things, while not letting this person encroach on my sovereignty. I will listen to my heart and the other person, and not rely on outside sources to give me an ‘objective’ opinion.
What I want: I want to be able to tell my j-o-b good-bye by replacing it with sales of my art. As much as I enjoy having people tell me that they like my art, I want to find my Right People to whom my art speaks.
Commitment: This week I will put my art out there more; I will act upon the ideas that I have come up with and get the ball rolling further than it currently is.
What I want:
You are my current kitchen, still all torn up and in the long process of remodeling. Within the next week, the floor tiles will arrive and be installed, the newly-woodstained cabinets will be installed, the countertop will be ordered and picked up and installed, the sink basin will be properly installed, the walls will meet the floors again, and there will be a vent where there’s supposed to be one. The kitchen faucet’s quickconnect will not leak when the dishwasher or washerdryer combo hose is hooked to it. I will be able to store stuff in cabinets again. In short, you will be back to normal, except better than you ever were before (working plumbing, proper cabinets, better walls).
How this can happen:
the maintenance guy can quit frickin’ PROCRASTINATING.
and I can finish my part (cabinets waiting for 2 coats of polyurethane).
and I can suggest the maintenance guy clean out ALL of the extra junk and tools.
and there can be some kind of Xmas magic in the air that understands that I feel my life is being disrupted by all the construction, and that wants to fully resolve this situation.
My commitment: I will love you so much and respect you and keep you clean and tidy. I will take photos and brag about you to my landlady. And I will wash my dishes in champagne.
This is my very first very personal ad — and I’m touched by the loveliness of the process and the commenters who’ve gone before me (and giggling over @Blue’s Bobby Darin thing and Bonni washing her dishes in champagne).
I went to do this last week and chickened out – and now I’m floundering again – but I’m forcing myself. I love this, Havi! It’s brilliant…so important to put our “asks” out there, not sit alone with them.
What I want is: To be financially independent – support myself financially – in 2010.
Hereās how I want this to work: I want my business (Square-Peg-People.com) to be my sole, total and wonderful support through these offerings:
I want to re-introduce Square-Peg Support (a type of nurturing akin to coaching), bring back some (revamped) e-courses and mostly –
I want to add a line of complimentary courses and e-books to the body-mindfulness/body-awareness/being IN our bodies (as opposed to dissociating) “Choosing Me!” recording (http://tiny.cc/P9BrF ).
My commitment: To STAY (not wavering) believing that there are plenty of women who live in their heads, but want to live in their bodies more. And to keep reaching out to find them.
To work with the systems I’m slowly incorporating into my business so that I can get more done (which basically means, not sabotaging myself by losing things, being disorganized).
To STAY (not wavering) believing that I have a gift to share. To STAY (not wavering) doing the work – step-by-step – to get it out there.
To STAY (not wavering) believing in my support system and keep sharing with them – not let myself isolate and feel abandoned.
My last VPA was a while ago- I don’t remember the details, but the gist of it was that I wanted my biz to grow at a comfortable pace- quickly enough so I don’t give up, slowly enough that I don’t get overwhelmed.
Update: Nice flow of new clients- definitely manageable.
Getting more pieces in place including a product put together in just over a weekend. Not ready to have it be a paid product (yet!) but it’s out there- so that’s a big leap right there.
Putting that together gave focus (and a great resource)to my plan for a class in Jan.
And in a completely unexpected bit of magic, Patti Digh linked to one of my posts right before Thanksgiving. The link was great- but mostly because it helped confirm that I’m on the right track. Even if I’m not exactly sure what track that is!
This week’s ask:
Some peace and ease and flow in the next few weeks. Time to do the things that really need doing, the grace to let other things go, and the wisdom to know the difference!
My commitment:
To sit quietly for a few minutes each day (or as long as it takes) to get clear on what really needs to happen.
To shiva it up- in hopes that flow will follow.
To be open to the magic- whenever and wherever it shows up. And to be grateful.
.-= LizĀ“s last post … Do-Overs and High-Fivesā¦ The post-Thanksgiving Gratitude Edition =-.
What I want:
To finish the things I need to finish (conference paper, research statement, first dissertation chapter) by the end of the month.
How I could do this:
1. Stop spending so much time on the interwebs numbing my stress by reading blogs
2. Organize my time more carefully into little tasks I can complete
3. Take some breaks sometime (not interwebs numbing breaks, but real going out breaks)
4. Set up an electric shock system that zaps me when i goof off. i.e. Force myself to work.
My commitment: To try to defeat the “I tried to work all the time but I have been so stressed out and stuck that I haven’t gotten any work done and am much closer to deadline so i can’t take a break which is stressful and makes me feel stuck so I don’t get work done and now I REALLY can’t take a break” spiral.
Progress report: Last week’s VPA (my first) got turned into two (2!) blog posts. Wow. I like this technique.
.-= Janet BaileyĀ“s last post … How to juggle multiple projects with more happiness, less stress =-.
I wanted to feel better, and I do!
And now that I feel better, here’s my VPA for the week:
–To continue to prioritize myself and my needs despite 1) feeling better and therefore wanting to DO DO DO 2) embarking on a trip to the in-laws 3) having the holidays sneak up on me. To prioritize myself and my needs EVEN MORE.
How this could happen: I could make reminders for myself. My loved ones could give me non-shaming, non-blaming, non-triggering reminders. I could make artist dates with myself. I could return to journaling. Magic, baby!
My commitment: I will continue to show up and be gentle with myself, both when it works and when it doesn’t. I’ll set my intention and let go of the outcome. I’ll consciously find ways to continue this even while visiting the in-laws and annoyed by the holidays.
Thanks again, Havi, for giving us space to do this!
.-= JulieĀ“s last post … Recovering yourself after academia =-.
Update on last week’s ask:
Stitching and felting are complete on the project, it went very smoothly š All that is left now is backing, binding, and two-three more photos (knitting how-to and author picture).
This week’s asks:
1: That I not freak out over the photo shoot. That it comes out looking at least a little how I picture myself.
How this can happen:
Shiva Nata before I sit for the photo (this worked very well with the newspaper a few weeks ago).
I could put on my “girl drag” and just play with it.
My commitment:
To not judge the final outcome. To have fun with it.
2: That I not freak out when it is packing/shipping time.
How this can happen:
Not waiting until the last minute š
Asking for help finding the right sized box
ahead of time
My commitment:
To take baby steps each day til it is shipping day so that it is not a freak out when it is time (I guess that is a how this can happen as well)
Yeah, a little focused on getting this project out there, but boy is it awesome and I can’t wait until I can show it to y’all.
.-= AndiĀ“s last post … Wishcasting Wednesday =-.
ahem (timid voice clearing)
AHEM (a little braver, to get your attention)
TA-DAH!!! (jumping up onto a chair, arms spread out wide, big grin on face because I found the courage to do this)
Iām Anna Gardner and Iām on a healing journey; my heart from 3 significant bereavements in 18 months and my shoulder from a fall last year. For these reasons, it is not life-giving for me to be at my home in Nova Scotia this winter. I am spending time in Europe. Following my soulās ānoseā and the knowing soles of my feet. Thatās where the VPA comes in.
February and March have no itinerary right now. While in the south of Spain last week, without any heating to speak of, I realized how essential it is for me to be WARM, to be in the SUN, to bask in the LIGHT; for both my heart and my shoulder. It is healing.
I am looking for where Iām meant to spend those two months. I am currently at Findhorn, Scotland (I know, NOT warm, but lots of love and a safe haven over Christmas). I am not skint (broke) nor do I have an unlimited budget. I speak French well enough to get by.
What I am looking for is a place that is:
Ā· not too challenging travel-wise or culture-wise. With the grief process, I am not currently as resilient to high adventure as I have been in the past; I am still ambushed by sadness with unpredictable frequency and intensity.
Ā· beautiful aesthetically (though it may be VERY simple)
Ā· in a healing natural environment, preferably near water. Walking is one of my main therapies for heart and body.
Ā· French and/or English speaking
Ā· perhaps associated with or close to a healing/spiritual/alternative community
Ā· WARM, like Mexico or Caribbean warm or ā¦. How warm IS the south of France in Feb. and March??
Ways this could happen:
Ā· someone who knows someone may know someone who knows of just the right place ā¦ I mean, after all, Haviās right people are awesome and are sprinkled all over the planet ā¦ such a resource. And besides, thatās what six degrees of separation is FOR! Dammit!!
Ā· I may stumble across an advert at an airport, or on the net, or in a magazine, or on a bulletin board
Ā· someone may come up to me and say, āI have this problem; I always let out my holiday property in ā¦. Martinique ā¦ and the people who were booked in for Feb. and March have had to cancel. Iām really hoping to find someone who can take their place. Iām willing to offer a discount because it is such short notice.ā
Ā· God, or some other extra-terrestrial non-local being could write the name of the place on my bedroom wall or
Ā· send an airplane by with the name of the place on a banner in the sky
My commitment is to:
Ā· ask around WIDELY (hence the VPA) the buckshot-universal-guidance approach to problem solving
Ā· grill people that I know at home in Canada who have spent warm winters abroad
Ā· gratefully, diligently and soulfully follow up all leads that come my way
Ā· be open to the possibility that my IDEA of what I need is not exactly the same as the perfect simple solution that the big ole universe of Love might present to me
Ā· deepen my practice of TRUSTING what will unfold; that is, not searching the internet obsessively, not āstanding on my tiptoes to peer into the futureā, not needing to know before I actually need to know
Ā· respectfully honour and comfort the parts of me that find this practice challenging and/or downright terrifying.
Thank you all for tuning in.
My journey can be tracked by going to http://www.carepages.com , registering, and looking up AnnaCare. Thatās where I hang my cyber hat at the moment.
Ooh, niftiness, Anna. Thinking good thoughts for you to find the exact perfect spot.
Blue, you made me smile.
The Right People thing–that is so right on. My brunch this week is full of so many nifty and lovable people! Really different from the conference I went to last month, which had very nice people, but not many of my Right People. (There were definitely a few.)
Re: days off, yes, I like my life much better when I do that well. I have never in my life been a spa person, but lately I’ve been scheduling massages and soaks and that has been a lifesaver. The whole brunching thing makes it so hard to make time for breaks.
.-= Sonia SimoneĀ“s last post … What Makes Marketing Hard? =-.
This is my first attempt at a VPA, so here goes . . .
Dear Universe:
I want to go home. I donāt want to move again only to have to move again. I donāt want to drag my child through another couple of moves, another town (gigantic city), another school . . . I just want to go home with my family, to my family dammit!
Let me explain: my husband is in law school, set to graduate this May ā May 2010. We are living in Sacramento because he goes to school here. We are from Austin, Texas. Our whole family and a lifetime of friends are still in Austin. Our now 8-year-old son grew up in Austin, among family, friends and grandparents until two years ago when we moved here to Sac. My husband ā Iāll call him B ā wants to practice entertainment (specifically music) law. He has a long history with music, he started playing the guitar when he was six, he was in a band for years after high school (and before law school), he lived and breathed music, it was a part of his identity, itās in his soul ā music law is the only method by which he can be happy as an attorney. But!! Heās convinced that in order to get the experience he needs to practice entertainment law in Austin (where we both want to āend upā and raise our family) he first needs to go to Los Angeles and work to make connections and get the big time experience LA offers (ick).
Iāve tried to come to terms with moving to LA (ugh) only to move again at some point back home. Itās proving slightly impossible though, and not least of all because I canāt imagine the stress itās going to put on our son and it just brakes my heart.
So Hereās what I want:
I want to go home, dammit!
I want to move back to Austin with my family and never have to move again.
I want to be able to grow my roots without the trepidation that comes with the knowledge that theyāre going to be ripped out again.
I want my kid to have stability and the ability to grow roots as well.
I want to raise my child(ren) amongst crazy and wonderful family and friends who love and support us.
I want to live among My Peeps; the ones who love and get me.
I donāt want to friggin move again, unless itās Home.
Ways this could work:
B could get an amazing job offer from an entertainment attorney in Austin who has tons of work and needs a driven, smart, hard-working, perfectionist, musically passionate, insightful, intellectual property minded partner.
B could get some other amazing educational opportunity in Austin with an entertainment/music attorney.
Some other miracle could occur ??
My commitment.
To ask the universe for this crazy thing I want and need.
To cross my fingers and hope like heck.
To love and support B, knowing heās doing his best to get us home, no matter what happens.
To be open and courageous, to find peace in what comes, and to be kind and patient in the meantime.
Thanks VPA, and thank you Havi, this needed to be said.
I had a crappy day yesterday which was the culmination of lots of stuff, I think. And maybe writing a VPA will help. ANyway, here is an attempt at such at thing.
Wanted, enough structure that I get stuff done but not so much that I feel confined.
That structure needs to allow me to get work done on my business, spend time with my daughter doing fun stuff and also engaging with her around what she is learning, and do things around the house/farm.
How this could happen: Not sure. I think I’m hoping for magic. But some kind of basic structure could become obvious to me. Or someone could suggest ways of doing this that might work. Other people in my family could offer suggestions for how they’d like me to be available to them and how they could support me spending regular time doing biz stuff.
My commitment: to pay more attention to clues about how this could work and to try things out
.-= JoVEĀ“s last post … Being available, with limits =-.
@ Ingrid ā that’s right. No water. Just magic.