Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!
Let’s do this thing.
Thing 1: Tax-related ease.
Here’s what I want:
This past week was full of sleep-related hard that made concentrating on horribleness especially difficult.
But this week I’d like to go over the numbers for last year and handle whatever leftover bits and pieces aren’t done yet.
Here’s how I want this to work:
A meeting with the Gentleman Friend.
Time for the meeting with the Gentleman Friend.
I want to check in with myself and do this work in a really grounded way, and not in a fainting on the divan kind of way.
I want harmony and ease and things to just work. And I want to get better at Lindy Hop. So if I absolutely have to procrastinate on this, can it at least improve my dancing?
My commitment.
To remember that I really want to make this a priority.
To dance. To laugh. To cry. To breathe. To meet the fear and give it room to exist.
To remind myself why this is important to me. And to give myself time to bitch about all the crappy things that happened last year.
Thing 2: A miracle.
Here’s what I want:
There is an opening in my Destuckification Retreat because someone isn’t going to be able to make it.
The opening is for a woman. Because it’s a shared room and the other person will also be a woman (and awesome).
It is extremely short notice. It is in Monterey, California at one of the most gorgeous places in the world.
And it is an entire week of having everything in your life change for the better, so yeah, kind of terrifying. But also really relaxing.
Because we’ll be doing Old Turkish Lady Yoga and deep recovery from things-in-real-life-that-are-hard.
And even though the early bird period is long over, anyone taking this spot would still totally get the early bird rate.
The course description is here but since the program is officially full, you’d have to email Marissa and ask to be considered.
Ways this could work:
Someone who had originally thought this might be the loveliest thing in the world could sense what might happen (or the power of what might happen) if it could actually work.
Someone new to the whole world of Fluent Self-ified wackiness who has fallen in love with the stuff we do here could feel safe and welcome to try more weirdness with me and Selma.
Or something completely different that I can’t even imagine. Open to surprises here.
My commitment.
To love and welcome and support my people who are interested. To treat them in the most fair and respectful way possible.
To try and make the application process even more non-intimidating.
To be present with the program and the people in it, and what needs to happen for this to bring fabulousness in their lives.
To listen.
To madly appreciate everyone in my world — my clients and students, my readers, my Kitcheners and of course my Beloved Lurkers.
Thing 3: To treat the study like a study.
Here’s what I want:
There’s a room in Hoppy House that’s in transition.
We call it the study but it is not a study.
Ways this could work:
I don’t know.
Magic? Intention?
I am going to be taking Lisa’s Love That Room class (though I honestly can’t decide which room needs my love the most), so that might help.
And I will do some Dance of Shiva on it, since the mini-epiphanies this week have been kind of hard-core. So maybe I’ll get something there.
My commitment.
To hang up the damn curtains already.
To go and visit that desk chair that I am currently lusting after and promise it that one day I will come for it and we will finally be together.
To do wacky rituals. To ask it for love. To give it love.
To spend some time hanging out with the soul of the house, who (or so I’m told) is extremely down-to-earth and has quite a good attitude.
To be patient. To give things time. To notice what I’m feeling when.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time. Oh, let’s see.
I asked for recovery time from the hectic.
And definitely got some. There was The Big Day Off. And a ridiculous amount of sleeping in.
Lots of yoga. Lots of Shiva Nata. Lots of bouncing on the trampoline. I’m actually amazed at how much recovery time there was, given that things were still pretty busy.
I asked for new Shivanauts to play with and ohmygod. Lots of fascinating responses to Briana’s guest post and to my long, complicated ruminations on throwing out epiphanies in favor of mini … uh, shiva-gasms?
Feeling great about this one.
And I asked for clarity on a thing that was stuckified, and it has started clearing up.
So wow. Win. I can’t remember a time when all of my asks resulted in this much progress. That’s actually kind of scary inspiring. Rock on, Very Personal Ads. Neat!
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.
Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
- Advice. Seriously.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.
Thanks for doing this with me!
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Wanted: A New Tenant(s)
I’m a lovely office space that is easy to find. I have one private suite that will be available April 1st. It has it’s own private entrance and a kitchenette. I also have a shared suite that is quite lovely with hardwood floors. You would have access to a kitchen with a refrigerator and microwave. Despite being on a busy street, the interior is very peaceful since it was originally a house for 46 years. It is surrounded by pleasant landscaping and trees. There is also one garage space available.
You have a business that wants a relaxing, calm environment for your clients. Perhaps you are a counselor, a psychiatrist or an attorney. Or maybe you are a writer looking for a quiet spot. Or an artist in need of a studio? Whatever you are, you aren’t a loud, noisy business with the need for a lot of parking spots.
I’m located in a nice suburb, one where you don’t have to worry if the UPS man (or woman) leaves packages on the porch. They will still be there!
BONUS: I’m right across from a large park with lovely walking paths. At 4th of July you can watch fireworks from the lawn.
How can we meet? Perhaps I put up an ad on Craigslist with some lovely pictures? Perhaps I talk you up to all my friends and acquaintances. Maybe I even post something on FaceBook.
P.S. My landlord is really nice. And she is willing to negotiate on the rent because having space sitting empty is really scaring her. She wants to keep her private office outside of the home but fears she will have to sell the building if she can’t find a tenant in the next few months.
It’s very weird to see posts show up the night before!
Update on Previous: Not sure how it’s going with the Better yet, but it’s definitely not worse, so that’s a good start!
This Week’s Ask: Sleep!
How This Might Happen: Insomnia be gone! I can try putting down the book/laptop sooner and seeing if settling will do the trick (sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t). I could just get tired at a time that coincides with getting enough sleep before I need to be awake. I could be pleasantly surprised.
My Commitment: To pay attention to my tired cycles, to turn the computer off earlier, and to sleep in whenever I need it and have no other commitments.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Contest! =-.
First, a noticing:
I’ve been reading these VPAs kinda wistfully for some time. Never thinking that I could do one of my own.
I noticed this pattern while reading the last VPA and asked, ‘why can’t I do one?’ The answer came back, ‘Because you can’t just ask for stuff, you have to do everything yourself and *work* for it.’
Huh, interesting.
So, now my first VPA:
==What I want==
A place, probably a cafe but could be something else, where I can go during the day for some out-of-the-house writing time.
This place will be within 10mins drive of my home and have easy parking. It will have nice natural surrounds (trees or a park or the water). It will have outdoor seating for cool days and indoor seating with air-con for when it’s hot. And of course, comfortable tables and chairs. If it is a cafe it will have good jasmine tea / fruit smoothies. It will be big enough that I always get my regular table in the corner and I can take up that table without feeling bad about it because there are plenty of others for people to use.
==Ways this could work==
– I could drive by and notice it
– Someone could invite me there for a drink one day
– I could read a review online or in a mag/paper
==My commitment==
I’ll be open to noticing and to checking-out new places. When I find the place I’ll love it madly and not take it for granted. I’ll go to hang out in non-busy times and always order something.
Here is what I would like: to enjoy the process this week of launching my new blog The Entrepreneur’s Writing Toolbox. To have a sort of plan come together without me getting stressed out and anxious. To not feel bad about my blog not being as good as other bloggers’.
How this could happen: I think I could start by delurking on the blogs I read. I can make a point to remind myself each time I post that even though there are a lot of great blogs out there, that doesn’t negate the value of what I have to say. I can also remind myself to stop and rest each day so that I don’t get overtired.
.-= Michelle´s last post … Allow me to Introduce Myself =-.
Update on previous: I asked for a new apartment and an easy moving process (or something like that), and it really went pretty well. We’re all moved in at our new place, and it is LOVELY. We got a total steal on a great location. Yay!
Thing I Want: Jobs for Matt & I.
This is kind of something I asked for last time, but I have a more specific request this time. Matt got laid off from his job on…Monday? Tuesday? One of those. He really, really hated it though, and it made him miserable. I would absolutely love for both of us to find jobs that we like and that don’t absolutely suck all of our energy, so we have time to work on our Stuff. Since we have Big Plans and all. Something around 30 hours a week for each of us would be ideal, since we’d be able to pay the bills and have some extra time for stuff-workage each week. This might be too much to ask, but if this could happen in the next week? Yeah, that’d be great.
I think that’s actually it for this week! Perfect jobs, if you show up, we will take good care of you and treat you well.
@Amy: I had some bad insomnia a while back (I think it was largely anxiety related, whatever it was, it sucked, I got like 3-4 hrs of sleep a night for like three weeks…nearly drove me batty), and the ONLY thing that worked for me was taking valerian root + melatonin before I went to bed. Worked wonderfully too; valerian smells like old gym socks though. Anyways, something you might look in to?
.-= Michelle´s last post … Video Post: New Year’s Resolutions & Goals =-.
My ask: I’ve been procrastinating on a couple of projects. One of them is just irritating and tedious; the other is big and uncomfortable and scary. I need to tackle both of them in the coming week, and I need to make some real progress. I haven’t been happy about that — neither about the fact that I have to work on them, nor the feelings that I have about the projects and the avoidance and the blecch.
So, here’s what I want: I want my sense of humor to come out and work on this stuff with me. Does this work really have to be so freaking serious? Can I maybe find ways to be playful with the process?
How this could work: Well, for one thing, just by asking for this, I’m already experiencing a bit of a shift, as my inner comedian begins to rise to the challenge. How could it work? I don’t know, honey, maybe you could wear a silly hat? Play some raucous music? Make faces at your computer screen? Throw some confetti in the air and yodel as each separate task gets completed?
My commitment: I will allow myself to believe that there are alternatives to my usual stuckified patterns, and that the alternatives are worth the effort. Even if they do get confetti in my hair.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Dramatis personae =-.
I am asking for:
-Clarity about a something I have been vaguely planning for March
– A part-time job as off May with roughly the same salary as my last job
– An idea for a course or something
– Finishing a freelance job that doesn’t really have a deadline so that I keep procrastinating
How this could work:
– Shiva Nata for the March project
– Someone who mentioned a job possibility could come up to me again
– Having a miraculous “my thing” epiphany
– Structuring my day and including 2 hours for the freelance thing
My committment:
– Focus, stop procrastinating
– Writing down how I want my days to look like in January and to stick to it
– Using the Shiva Nata DVD every day, or say every other day
I don’t think I posted my vpa last week, instead I just thought about it, and it totally worked. I was starting a new job and after a bad experience was worried about working in a non-supportive and horrible atmosphere. Although it hasn’t been 100% smooth, everyone has been supportive and actually interested in the stuff I do outside of work. Whoo!
VPAs for this week:
I’m starting an MA this week, and I want to make connections with the tutors and fellow students (I’m doing it by distance learning so this isn’t as obvious as it seems) and start doing the work without huge fear.
How this could happen:
-make sure I check out the moodle area and familiarise myself with it
-be willing to make the first move in talking to students and tutors
-be willing to give, but not at the expense of time that I need
-realising that getting (constructive) criticism is good thing, if I was doing everything perfectly already I would be wasting my time and money taking the course!
Snow in southern England = transport chaos and horrible icy pavements. I want to be able to get to work easily, without spending ages freezing at train stations and slipping on ice.
How I could make this happen:
-Check train services websites before I leave
-Not be afraid to say ‘I need to leave at xpm to get home safely’
.-= Jane´s last post … Weekly Love List =-.
In my mind, I envision a nicely organised line of numbers marching your way, on occasion bursting into a mass Lindy Hop all Fame-style, hoping they can help ease the tax thing and all the yuck attached to it.
Last week, I asked for work flow. I got it for a few days, then sunk back into non-flow, I guess because I did not stick to the commitments I promised in the VPA. Next week, I’ll be going back to the office, so I’m sticking with last week’s VPA for one more week and transfer it to working in the office. And being more serious about my own commitments to make it work.
An additional VPA for this week:
I would like to have more clarity on what to ask for regarding finding and building new meat-space friendly relationships with people in my city. I’ll do some Shiva Nata with this specific thing in mind.
Havi, may the perfect person for your Destuckification Retreat Lindy Hop her way over to you this week! 🙂
My VPA’s:
1. To find the perfect person and/or software to help me organize my projects, plans, paperwork and archives in a way that makes sense to me, that’s easily accessible, flexible, fluid and simple to use. That works the way my mind works, or at least supports the way my mind works.
My commitment: To meet my sense of overwhelm about this, and about the technology that may be involved, with kindness, lightness and love. To find ways to chunk this down into small, manageable steps. To make this process as pleasurable as possible. To be open to new ways of organizing information. To love and cherish whoever or whatever helps me get this done.
2. To create more experiences of delight and joy in my life each week.
My commitment: To make time and space in my schedule to do more of the things that bring me pleasure. Singing. Qi Gong. Walking on the beach. Playing with friends. Maybe even taking a vacation!
Thanks, Havi, for this lovely Sunday ritual of Very Personal Ads. It helps me set my intentions for the entire week, and invites miracles into my already-miraculous life!
Wishing you all the swift inflow of your own VPA’s this week.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem: Buddhist Chronicles 7 =-.
Kind of like Rebecca above, this is my first VPA. Who am I to ask for stuff?
Well.
I want time and mental space for yoga. This might happen because I tell a client that I’m not doing any work between 4 and 6, or it might be because I finish all my work during the day and don’t have to work at night.
Just one thing this week. A start.
.-= Ophélie´s last post … January 3rd =-.
Yay for your 3 for 3 week. So cool. Dipping my toe in the water here.
Here’s what I want:
Sometimes when that truth elixir gets going and the epiphanies and ideas about writing and projects start flowing, it’s wonderfully exciting, but also overwhelming because I get all nervous that some genius bit will slip through the net and be gone forever. So I want a useful, intuitive way to collect ideas. Maybe some sort of system that ideally would also facilitate sorting and then actually doing something with the ideas. (i.e. not just me furiously scribbling notes that I never look at again.)
Ways this could work:
I could stumble upon something that works. One of my fabulous ideas could be to do with the collection of fabulous ideas. I could have a conversation with someone who has a system that works for them. I’m willing to be surprised.
My commitment:
To try to relax a little and trust that if something brilliant falls through the cracks it will find it’s way back to me again.
To spend time with the ideas, to make them feel welcome.
.-= Briana´s last post … This is me. And this is social media. =-.
Update: my personal ads were answered quite quickly last week. Someone offered to pay me real money to do the Thing that I was doing for free. And I made an amazing connection with another one of your readers that lead to fantastic ideas and lots of new things to do.
Wanted:
The funds to invest in my business in a big way.
How this might happen:
A couple of new clients and new leads to give me the secure feeling that it’s ok to spend the money.
Using a line of credit and trusting that the funds will come back quickly.
Proposing to my mother that she invest in my business.
What I need to do:
Send proposals out to a couple of clients so that they can actually hire me.
Sit on my meditation cushion.
Also my first VPA. (Jeez. Why is asking for things so hard?)
What I want: A money person.
I want this person to be, first and foremost, someone I can Trust. This means they need to be willing to put up with my need to understand everything and patiently explain things, maybe even a couple times in different ways, until I get it. At least at first. You know, until the Trust happens.
The most important thing is that I need help with taxes and other accounting tasks associated with the business side of things. But I also also want someone who can provide advisement, guidance, support, etc. in other aspects of our financial life, such as retirement, insurance, buying a house, etc. Or at least be able to point us to other Right People.
I would prefer this person to be local to Portland. I would prefer this person to be a woman–this isn’t a requirement (please no shoes about this, there is So Much Stuff with the money and the Trust, and my gut tells me that a female presence would be helpful, but I am open to being wrong about that).
I need this person to be affordable. I don’t want a situation where someone is not getting paid what they deserve, but I can’t afford to pay ultra-premium prices. All I’m asking for here is a sense of fairness in expected compensation that works for me.
Here’s how I want it to work:
Someone here could recommend someone. Or someone I know in real life could tell me about somebody who is great. Or I see a flyer in the local cafe or a sign on the street or something.
I call these people, my husband and I interview them, then we go away and make a decision. Together.
My commitment:
I will do the work on my Stuff that needs doing to develop the Trust with the Right Person. I will speak up when I am unsure of something or don’t understand. In other words, taking responsibility for my part of the Trust thing.
I will not procrastinate on this Very Important Initiative. I will collect names, contact people, and conduct interviews before the end of January.
I will be open to suggestions.
I will trust my own feelings, but I will also examine those feelings to make sure they aren’t rooted in Old Thinking. In other words, I will challenge my own preconceptions as needed.
I will pay a fair wage for valuable services, and recognize that my need to understand everything (and the time that may require) might carry a higher price tag.
Okay, that is all. Not sure why it is scary to put that out there, but here we go…
This week (tomorrow! Eep!) I’m holding my first teleclass and I have a few asks related to that.
Ask #1: I’d like a few more people to sign up. I’m super proud of the brunch so far, but I’d like to help (let’s make the ask more specific!) 4 more people share their crafty Thing with the world.
Ways this could work:
-Someone who’s on the fence or was waiting for money could sign up before it closes tomorrow afternoon.
-Someone who has asked me questions via email or my blog could see that this is my way of answering the questions (b/c it’s just not sustainable to keep writing personal emails answering each question)
-Someone who is completely new to me could decide that a class on marketing your crafty stuff in a non-icky way is totally up their alley.
-Something else magical and wonderful
My commitment:
-To make this clear and easy for the Right people to know that this is Right for them.
-To hold a super-helpful, lots-of-fun class
Ask #2
Eep! My first class! I’m a nervous wreck!
I’d like peace about the class, clarity of speech and mind and calm within and without
How this could happen:
-I could trust myself and what I have to share
-Magical relaxo-fairy-dust
My commitment:
-to remember to breathe
-To remember that I’ve taught a LOT of in-person classes (college French, knitting) and I never fell down
-To pay attention
I hope all of your asks come true this week!
.-= Tara´s last post … In the local paper! =-.
Help Wanted: Computer Geek Who Loves What They Do and Has Time in their Schedule
What I need them to do:
•Reformat a worksheet in dynamic form using Adobe Pro 9
•Compile all my worksheets, cover, instructions in a link to give to my web designer
-have time in their schedule to do this, make a reasonable agreement with me and give me regular updates about their progress
•give me a written estimate of what they are doing along with a price for it.
-be willing to contact my web designer if I can’t answer their technical queswtions.
I commit to:
•pay a deposit if they ask for one
•be accessible to answer any questions
•connect them with my web designer for any technical questions – i don not answer technical questions.
•pay them in full and on time for the project
Ways this could happen:
-magic. the perfect person contacts me
-you read this and you are that person and get a hold of me.
-you know of someone and refer them to me.
-someone tweets this and twitter finds me.
-i tweet it and someone finds me
-grace, mercy, the power of the universe, etc
Havi-
hope the perfect person dances your way to the biggification thing asap.
thanks for providing this wonderful space.
mwah to you!
Wow… I feel kinda “greedy” here… the last weeks I have been laying out some of the things I want to change and how I can see things that I need to work on… and yet there are always MORE things that I wish clarity for.
1. I want to start a yoga practice for myself that can fit into my lifestyle. I can’t afford, financially, a very expensive class and I can’t really commit to something hugely structured outside of my home right now because of work commitments, social commitments, and family commitments. I want something that I can do whenever I have time and need and which would be okay for the kids to do with me, if they so chose.
How this can happen:
* I can find some yoga DVD’s at the local library to try out at home
* I can find yoga downloads from iTunes to try out
* I can try out the local drop in yoga centres and see how structured their classes are
* I can test out different practices and see what I am comfortable
* I can start saving up to order the Shiva Nata Beginner set
My Commitment:
I am committed to trying out adding a yoga practice to my life because it has been a 10 year desire for myself. I am committed to finding a time in my daily routine that works for myself, irregardless of what experts might say. I will not worry about failing because I might not feel like doing yoga first thing in the morning immediately. I will not judge myself on how I am doing. I will remember that this is for me and my spirit, and that doing things my own ways is success not failure.
2. I want ease with the ending of my relationship. I want it to go as well as possible, wihtout drama.
How this can happen:
* I can make sure that when we have the “talk” I do not accuse, that I stay focused on the fact that I happen to need something different in my life than what he wants, that its just not working for me.
* I can avoid tears
* I can remember the good times
* I can accept that he feels differently about how successful the relationship was
MY commitment
I am committing to having a talk with the boy whenever he will actually GIVE ME the time. I am committing to changing the pattern of relationships where the man determines if I am good enough to date and the direction of the relationships, and moving towards more conscious and balanced relationships.
.-= Pam´s last post … I Want to change my RELATIONSHIPS =-.
Whoa! Sunday already?
Progress on my last Ad:
I wanted some insight on my total inability to get up before a certain hour. I definitely got loads of insight on this, and managed to begin shifting the habit. I think Shiva Nata helped.
This week I’ve got 2 things to ask for (ooh, greediness):
1. Some direction/intention with my art thing. It’s like I have a bunch of words I want to say but I can’t quite make a sentence out of them. Something essential is missing.
How this could happen: I think it will involve a lot of meditation and pondering. The flailing will no doubt help. But it may take some time too.
My commitment: I’ll be open to signs. I will give it time and space. I will show up (most important).
2. Something to entertain my partner during the winter months when he can’t work. A hobby, new friends, a Thing. Something that’s either quiet or is done outside of the house. Or, failing that, a solution to us both having cabin fever and me needing to concentrate.
Ways this could happen: a miracle? Good weather could arrive. I could magically find another place to work (warm, please).
My commitment: I will take walks when needed, despite the monsoon-like weather going on. I will retreat to solitude if necessary. I will try really hard to communicate in a compassionate way.
Have a lovely week everyone!
I have a very short and complex – simple to say, hard to address – personal ad this week, based on an epiphany I had this morning.
Here’s what I want: The ability to deal with stress by addressing, dealing with, and removing the stressor rather than by retreating into a comfortable situation where I can temporarily ignore the stressor.
Ways this could work: I could find a really important goal to shoot for, such that I’d have to address stressors in order to achieve it. Or I could learn to dissolve stressors into their component parts so that I could address each much-smaller part individually. Or, of course, something else that I haven’t thought of.
My commitment: I will accept the help that comes my way. And I will remember that just because a situation is comfortable doesn’t mean that being in it is bad.
Best wishes to all. <3
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … A brief clarification =-.
@Pam: Try “Yin Yoga – the Foundation of a Quiet Practice with Paul Grilley.” I discovered it through Havi and the DVD got me into a regular home practice (well, at least over the last month). I can also recommend the mp3 files under http://www.yogamountainyogasea.com (see shop).
@Ms_Z: check out http://www.womenearning.com/ She is amazing at helping people through their money fog and related things.
Havi, yay for 3 for 3! Go VPAs!
Update on the last VPA: I asked for ease and help with money, especially on creating a budget / plan / whathaveyou that we’ll actually use. At family meeting this morning, we had the epiphany (thanks ShivaNata!) that we’ve been paying attention to balances, not budgets. Apparently a key difference. So we’re on our way.
This week’s VPA:
I would like some ease, specifically around time and to-dos.
How this might happen:
I might rock the collection process of GTD. I might recognize things on my to-do list that aren’t actually necessary / important. I might find ease through breathing into my overwhelm and freaked-out-ed-ness.
What I commit to:
Showing up. Breathing. Paying attention to overwhelm and what’s coming up with it.
Happy week, everyone!
.-= Julie´s last post … Should he go to graduate school? =-.
Havi,
I can’t believe how much I looked forward to Sunday this week! I read all of last week’s and got such a rush from from reading everyone else’s, this is an amazing thing you have set up here.
So thank you!
I also hope you fill your workshop spot. That is one lucky person!
Update since last week:
More traffic to my blog and more comments! I’m slowly, but surely figuring out how to write so people will respond and I feel less like I’m talking to myself.
Found some interesting blogs to make comments on. Plus I got some good ideas to help with some organization yucky stuff. (see what I want this week)
Still healthy despite being surrounded by very germy kids all day long.
Now on to this week:
What I want: a tidier and more organized house/work space.
Ways this could work: Pay more attention to the details of my surroundings. Spend a few minutes each day purging stuff and organizing what is left. Ask students to help organize my classroom and partner to help organize at home.
My commitment: Set a timer for 15 minutes each day and purge/organize. When the timer goes off, be done even if I’m still working. Clearly, it’ll be there tomorrow. Don’t get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the project. Stop judging myself for letting the chaos rule for so long.
What I want: a blog post and writing schedule that makes sense and doesn’t consume all my free time.
Ways this could work: set up some template pages, so the writing is easier and more consistent. Spend an afternoon organizing my thoughts on paper and scheduling the music, weekly post ideas etc. People could share their processes and how they work, schedule posts and writing etc. Tips for someone starting out would be greatly appreciated.
My commitment: Ask for help from more experienced people how to be most effective in your posts. Ask for help on scheduling. Set up templates.
What I want: Confidence that my first solo yoga classes will go well and that I don’t drive myself crazy trying to make them perfect.
Ways this could work: Remember I’m not saving babies, I am actually a teacher and there is no such thing as perfect. Use the time between now and when the classes start (early March) to make up some basic sequences and take them on a test run. How do they feel? Remember that simple is ok. Quiet is ok. It doesn’t have to the best yoga ever.
My commitment: Acknowledge my little perfectionist (hi!) and wave. Tell her I know she only wants to help her students, but she doesn’t have to make them into life long practitioners. She just has to do three basic hour long classes.
.-= Tami´s last post … My Yoga Manifesto – PART III- All People Can Do Yoga =-.
Thing I wan: to remember the importance of focusing on the positive. To release fears that are tied to the past and enjoy the wonderful things that surround me NOW.
Also, a new kitchen floor.
Yay for answers. I managed to post Monday-Friday on my blog last week, still need to find the tiny notebook for capturing the random thoughts for future blog posts, but trusting the ideas and words will be there when I need them.
This week’s ask is pretty much the same as all of the previous asks. Smooveness in the week ahead, blog post topics as I need them, time to just chill. Maybe someone to wrap me in a big squooshy blanket and bring me hot chai on those evenings when the anxiety really gets bad.
Yeah.
My commitments: to stay present, to do Dance of Shiva at least three times this week, to use my words and ask the people who live there to bring me that squooshy blanket and chai if I need it. 🙂
.-= Andi´s last post … Etsy Update =-.
Havi, you inspire me!
I been one of the lurkers for several months and decided to join in today.
After reading your VPA last week, I asked myself what I would ask for. It involved a sense of security and clarity in my current situation/environment. And things, at least on a mental level, have gotten better.
So, here is my VPA for this week:
#1 I need/want more physical evidence and agreement from those who have influence over things, that my security (economic and emotional) will happen. This could happen by:
Financial resources coming through and creditors being understanding.
An, as yet, unknown benefactors’ help.
Some marvel of magic or miracle that I don’t see now.
My commitment: I will keep all of my appointments this week.
I will be open to what happens.
I will keep my execise and meditation regime.
And I will work hard on my new blog.
I know that this is a very nonspecific VPA but there are many factors involved. Maybe I just need the universe to give me more clarity and direction.
Yay for your 3 for 3, Havi!
These VPA’s work!
Update on Previous: I asked for a VA because I’m overwelmed. I’m talking to a VA starting her own business about a trade. She’s worked for lawyers and law firms pretty extensively. She reads my blog. She’s really excited about the trade. Yay!
This week’s VPA No. 1: To get over this stuffy-head cold.
How that could work: Hot liquids. Steam. Vitamin C. Rest.
My commitment: To slowing down and resting until this thing has passed.
VPA No. 2: To trust that the money will come. (Money anxiety here!)
How that could work: People who inquired about their specific needs could circle back to me ready to proceed. People could sign up for my FTC class. New people could contact me. Some way I couldn’t have thought of.
My commitment: To finding a way to non-sleazily follow-up with people who’ve already contacted me. To figuring out if there’s a better way to present my FTC class. To meditate. To do my mantra practice.
Have a great week, everyone!
.-= Rebecca Prien´s last post … Non-Scary Law Question No. 3: Have you tapped into the Value of Your Creative Stuff? =-.
Current (and ongoing) VPA:
To learn to love doing one thing at a time. To bask in the sense of accomplishment that comes from bringing things to completion, and to come to delight in that *more* than the ever-changing carnival of ideas and possibilities.
How that could happen:
Honor all the half-baked goodness I’ve created – articles, videos, programs – by giving them each the attention they deserve.
Believe they will mean as much to my people as they’ve meant to me. Take up the happy responsibility of sharing them.
Trust that going as slowly as my energy requires leads to creating things as richly involved as I want them to be. In time I will build something valuable and real. I’m not in a contest with anyone.
My commitment: To acknowledge the truth of this in my heart of hearts and act from there.
Thanks Havi dear, and everyone. May all your VPAs come true.
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … What’s your idea of the perfect Kindness Community? =-.
@Sanford – sounds good. Rooting for your clarity. 🙂
@Tami – that sounds like exactly the right thing to say to the Little Perfectionist. Simple goes a long way.
As for blogging-writing tips … the thing that helps me the most is treating blogging as free therapy, and giving what I’ve written to someone loving who can give me the “no really, it’s good enough to put up”.
@Ms_Z – I know! Asking is the hardest! For me too. Every single week.
I have an *amazing* bookkeeper in Portland. She is an absolute wonder, and also knows lots of good people and has made many Helpful Recommendations. See also: this.
@Ophélie – what a beautiful first ask. I love it. And yeah, so much stuff around asking. It’s one of the most uncomfortable practices that I know of.
Sending everyone love for their asks and for the hard of asking.
This is also a first VPA for me (hooray to all the first-timers!).
Thing I’m asking for this week: Courage.
While I am very thankful for all the amazing blessings in my life, I would like to find a way to stop loving the comfortable-ness of the rut that I have found myself in.
I have cleared the projects that were hanging over my head making me feel bad. And I’m slowly turning myself forward so that I’ll look to the future instead of feeling bad about the past.
So I would like the courage to chart the course to the future and the courage to go out into the wild unknown. I think I need to play around with the word “adventure” a bit.
Other thing I’m asking for this week: Making sense of the weird thing that happened on Friday. Even a little bit.
My commitment on that will be to journal about it more.
Wishing everyone success on their very personal requests this week!
Update on previous: I asked to relocate my motivation, and that’s been starting to happen (partly just by giving myself some space and expecting a bit less MUST BE DOING ALL THE TIME from myself). I also asked for more blog-readers on the not-the-personal-blog, which happened & was cool. But then in the process of thinking about motivation and what I want to be doing with my time, I came to the conclusion that actually that particular blog is not something that’s a happy use of my time. And that in fact it was using up writing-energies that I would rather direct elsewhere; & there wasn’t anywhere that it led that was a place I was really interested in going. So I’m really pleased that I’ve worked that out rather than pressuring myself to keep going against my inclination, and thereby *not* doing the writing that I really want to do. Hurrah for realisations 🙂
So! Onto this week:
VPA #1: Start/continue doing Shiva Nata regularly (I ordered the kit last week, so the DVD should be with me soon; in the meantime, I have been practising a little with the basic positions).
How this might work: Find a time of day (probably morning just after breakfast) which works for me. Or just do the “little bit when I think of it” thing. Leave myself a reminder note. Some other way of ritual/habit creation that fits with my schedule.
My commitment: Keep experimenting & thinking consciously about it until I get a habit of some sort set up.
VPA #2: More focus, less procrastination. I’ve been a bit better about this of late, but I am still spending more time than I’d like faffing around online.
How this might work: Maybe the Shiva Nata will help! Accepting that right now it’s cold and dark and that’s hard for me. More self-belief so I don’t put off working on projects because they feel scary. Concentrate on making sure that I’m really up for doing the things that I’m bad at starting (i.e. check that they’re not hard because I don’t actually want to do them). Turn off the wireless some/all of the time. Something else I haven’t thought of yet that will help my focus!
My commitment: Keep on thinking about this. Experiment a bit with various ways of doing things. Keep mental eye on whether I want to do what I’m doing. Look after myself and be nice to myself (don’t beat myself up if I don’t get as much done as I’d like). Turn the wireless off from time to time!
.-= Juliet´s last post … Deeply splendid video =-.
Hey Briana – you might find http://www.the99percent.com and it’s http://www.actionmethod.com tool useful for recording your lots of flyaway pieces of genius and inspiring inspiration 🙂 ..or not 🙂
now..may I have a go to ?? :)))
Here’s what I want: A cool and cheap web designer who can create me a sexy blog site with a design that is me, this week. Why not? Yeah..why not this week – I can make this happen and it’s one less thing I have to make happen this year!! Hilarious!
Ways this could work:
– I could send an email to everyone I know asking if they know anyone like this
– I could email Kirsty and talk about how she created hers
– I could check out wordpress and see if I can get one that has it’s own .com
– I could talk to Trish about her blog
– I could stop trying to take actions and let something magical happen 🙂 YES!!!
– someone might approach me tomorrow or I’ll just happen to chat to someone who is/knows of a fabulous designer who’s happy to do it at a reasonable cost
My commitment:
– I’ll take some actions anyway – send the email, chat to Trish & Kirsty tomorrow
– I’ll pick some clean , sassy and fun blog designs that peak my fancy
– I’ll email Weena and Damo
Here’s what I want: To be MC at the next AITD conference
Ways this could work:
– some one who thinks highly of me could talk to the conference committee decision maker
– the other submissions could get mysteriously lost
– I could become very present at the AITD office
My commitment:
– I’ll drop by the AITD office
– I’ll speak with the CEO
Here’s what I want: To live a beautiful single life of true contentment and happiness, wanting for nothing.
Ways this could work:
– Peace and contentment will come flowing , very magically, and sit upon my head and be happy nesting there
– I will forget about George and realise attachment is not ok for happiness
– My ideas will live such full, beautiful lives this year that they will propagate such immense happy, yellow joy which will dominate any sense of lack in other areas
– I will be grateful
My commitment:
– I’ll start another gratitude journal and write in it regularly
– I’ll make my idea babies grow and live and breath and have little fluttery baby wings that will become very strong and powerful..but still fun and joyful and sweet.
**Quick and late but timely VPA**
Please – a new way of deciding how to choose what to do when
~ everything on the list is something I want to do
and
~ is non-urgent
without
~ finding things that I don’t want to do
and
~ without making things non-urgent.
**How?**
You know, epiphanies. Gradual realisations.
**My commitment**
Consciousness, allowing, talking, letting.
(By the way – did a virtual VPA a couple of weeks ago, didn’t have time to type it in, and it was answered. Yay.)
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … And so it begins… =-.
@Wendy – I have a friend who’s doing a little freelance web design at the moment. She’s awesome cool, incredibly competent, and I’m sure you could negotiate an acceptable cost between you 🙂 Drop me a line at juliet@earth.li or message me on Twitter (@julietk) if that sounds interesting & I’ll give you her email address.
(not putting her email straight on here because sticking my *own* email address on the public interwebs is something I’m relaxed about, but putting other people’s out there isn’t right)
.-= Juliet´s last post … Deeply splendid video =-.
@Gadgetgirl You’re lovely office space doesn’t happen to be in Orange, CA, does it?
.-= Jane Vedell´s last post … Math Tutor =-.
@JaneVendell
Unfortunately, my lovely office isn’t in Orange, CA. I’m in the snowy western suburbs of Chicago. At this time of year, I find it hard to believe that it was ever once warm enough to go outside without my down coat on!
@Gadgetgirl
bummer…
.-= Jane Vedell´s last post … Math Tutor =-.