Asking the name to reveal itself.
So I was talking to Hiro about my upcoming program-without-a-name that I’m so looking forward to teaching.
And learned all sorts of interesting things.
Hiro said it needed a name.
But then it wouldn’t tell us what it was. It was hiding.
I do that sometimes too.
We let it hide.
Finding the image.
I was describing some of what we’re doing at the event and some of the themes we’ll be dealing with. And she was seeing it.
I talked about the pull between wanting to be seen and not wanting to be seen. About stepping out of those old patterns and watching them turn into something new.
About accessing the kind of visibility and protection magic that lets you be found only by those who are right for you.
About dissolving fear of biggification to the point that there isn’t anything to get in the way of doing what needs to be done.
It was a pumpkin, as it turned out.
She looked at the event and saw a giant jack-o-lantern.
But not a scary one. Kind of sweet.
Demure looking with lowered eyes and a Mona Lisa smile.
Pretty carved patterns, like tattoos. The light radiating out from inside of it, but also contained and held in the sturdy home of the pumpkin.
Sitting on a porch. Radiating light out in these beautiful, cryptic patterns. Invisibly visible.
A conversation with the thing that has no name.
Hiro talked to the event in soothing tones, saying wise Hiro-things.
She was very sensible:
“You know, you can land without having a name. The name will come when it comes.”
And I agreed.
The event without a name did not agree. It had issues.
The event without a name: “I’m not ready! I don’t want to be the first kid on the playground!”
Me: “You’re not, sweetie. I’m holding a private weekend there for some clients. And then the Shivanautical teacher training is the first open-to-my-people thing.”
The event without a name: “But I don’t want it to be like this! I want it to be like Where’s Waldo! It should be like Where’s Waldo!”
Me: What are you talking about?
The event without a name: Where’s Waldo!!!!!
Hiro giggled sweetly.
Ha.
Yes, my event about invisibility wanted to be invisible.
No wonder it wouldn’t give me a name.
It wanted me to come find it.
The finding of Waldo is about mystery, camouflage and play. About hide and go seek. About inviting your people to look for you so that you can play together.
All of which is kind of hiding at the core of what I’ll be teaching there.
Safety. Play. Biggifying your thing through actively being quiet and awesome, not by having to learn to how to get louder.
Instead we’ll be learning about (and experiencing) smart hiding, sexy hiding and the art of hard-to-get marketing. How to do it. And how to destuckify along the way.
Playing with secret veils, magic cloaks, pirate tricks.
Transforming the fear of being seen (and the fear of not being seen) into the ability to shine a strategic light from a place of complete safety.
How to be visible and invisible at the same time. Like the jack-o-lantern.
But still no name.
I knew even more now about the personality of the event-without-a-name.
And about the essence.
Ninja Invisibility Training. Combined with shining your light in a non-cheesy way. Combined with serious safety and protection.
But still no name.
Hiro and I went on one of our adventures and wandered into one of my internal patterns of creating.
And met the dragon who dreams of leaving his horrible cubicle job.
A cave in a cliff on a hillside. Blistering sun outside. Inhospitable.
At the mouth of the cave stands a tired, worn-out dragon. Except it’s not really a dragon. It’s a something. Wearing a ferocious costume.
Now and then it has to puff itself up and breathe fire. It finds the whole thing extremely tiresome. Its heart isn’t in the scaring.
Like one of my monsters, except that it’s in on the performance. A dragon in drag.
What is the purpose of the dragon?
I didn’t get it so I asked Hiro.
She said:
“The dragon is all the drama around creating things that has happened in your life. All the heroic tales you’ve lived through … of overcoming impossible odds and slaying dragons.
It’s been powerful and big. And none of that is real for you anymore.
This whole world of the “hero’s journey” and “overcoming obstacles” is something you’re done with. That’s not how you’re creating now.”
What is the new way?
Hiro says the new way is about wholeness.
It’s about a new kind of power that is gentle and sovereign. It happens without drama and without having to go on big journeys and missions.
I can live with that.
Meanwhile, the poor little dragon clown just wanted to give notice. Permission to leave granted!
Hiro said:
“The truth your dragon knows in his heart is that creation is not a personal act.
It’s just something that’s happening. All the time. And you are a part of it. You participate in it but it isn’t about you having to make stuff happen. So there’s no hero. No drama. No journey.
And he has been playing out his role until you learned that. Which you have.”
So the dragon impersonator really liked this. A lot.
He ripped off his costume and went tearing down the hill butt naked (according to Hiro — I didn’t see any dragon butt) to go play in the water with his friends.
Play! Play! Play!
And then there was a giant earthquake and then some extremely trippy stuff started happening that doesn’t really have to do with the thing I wanted to talk about today so I’ll skip that part.
So back to the event-without-a-name that wants to play Where’s Waldo with me.
The event that I don’t have to create because it already is.
Is your name … RUMPELSTILTSKIN?
Me: What’s your name, sweetpea?
The event without a name: It doesn’t really matter. I just wanted to play with you.
Me: I LOVE playing with you. That’s why I just gave birth to a Playground. To play with you!
The event without a name: Oh. I didn’t know that.
Me: Mmmhhmmm. That’s right.
The event without a name: You could call me Visibility and Protection Magic School! Or what about Enter The Dragon! Or Camp Biggification!
Me: I could call you Waldo Schmaldo Muffin Head!
The event without a name (giggles): Nooooooo. That’s stoopid.
Me: Can it be like the scouts where people earn their invisibility cloaks?
The event without a name: Awesome.
And then it scampered off and hid in the Angel Refueling Station and I pretended I couldn’t see it, even though its foot was totally sticking out from under a cushion.
Until its laughter was so gleeful and so completely charming and irresistible that I had to run after it again so we could play.
Camp Biggification: Earn Your Invisibility Cloak!
Yes, you get your own invisibility cloak. Though keep in mind that it’s … invisible.
And magical, which is even better. It’s reversible and multi-layered so it can help you be both more findable by your people and more protected from anyone who doesn’t need to see you.
It’s a filter. It’s a concept. It’s a charm. And something you’re going to internalize in a deep, meaningful way so you can feel truly safe doing your thing.
It’s also dry-clean only, so try not to get pie crumbs and hot buttered epiphanies on it. Kidding. It’s self-cleaning. Have some pie!
And it’s already half full. Not the cloak. Camp Biggification. You can apply right here if you want to come play.
And comment zen for today …
Dragons! Cloaks! Invisibility!
You’re allowed to want to hide. And you’re allowed to want to be seen. Both of those are fine by me. Always.
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Oh, Havi, I’m so glad your come-find-me Thing has come out to play! And has told you his name. Camp Biggification: Earn Your Invisibility Cloak! Nice name! 🙂
I can’t wait to see what happens next…Playing with you is always an adventure. No drama, just great, creative, lively adventure.
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Money, Heart and Soul: An Interview with Mark Silver =-.
Such a wonderful story – big wacky grin on my face the whole time I was reading it. And Camp Biggification sounds so awesome. Will not be able to make it in June, but I imagine it’s going to be so fabulous that there will be another! I’ll be watching for it. Thank you for sharing your process.
.-= Cindy Morefield´s last post … work in progress: drip watercolor =-.
First of all, belated Cartwheels of Joy for signing your lease on your perfect Playground!
As always, it is extraordinary and instructional to watch you living out loud.
I’d say more but I think I need to go in search of some exhausted DRAGon drama QUEENS.
<3 Mahala
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … Testing the Benefits of Meditation… in the Emergency Room =-.
Brilliant. I love the tales about your sessions with Hiro, powerful Schtuff! I’ve counted a few blog posts coming out of this session already…
Earworm alert! Picture Rumpelstiltskin dancing and singing around a fire in his house under some tree roots:
No one knows
No one knows
Rumpelstiltskin is my name
It rhymes in Dutch and it’s quite annoying… would love to trade it for the image of the dragon butt.
Havi, I don’t know why but so often your blog finds this secret underground hamster tunnel leading directly to powerful images/memories from my childhood (Free to Be You and Me, Twice Upon a Time, and now this). I wish there was a way I could show you the inside of this wonderful book I had as a kid called Jerome by Philip Ressner. I can only find a picture of the cover here: http://www.librarything.com/work/1264223, but oh! Such a great story and wonderful trippy 60s art and such a perfect story given the work you do. There is even a dragon in it!
I love how you share your process and how you make it look not scary to do big things in the world. Thanks for shining your non-cheesy light 🙂
.-= Darcy´s last post … Small but powerful change =-.
I love that this is what we get when you leave the extremely trippy stuff out.
Great stuff. And congrats on finding a name for the thing. And releasing the dragon.
@Willie – oh yes, the de-tripped version is still kind of insane. Hooray for dragon-releasing.
@Darcy – love it! Secret Underground Hamster Tunnel: it’s just one guy.
@inge – Dragon butt for an earworm! I’m not trading!
@Mahala – kisses. Same to you, my sweet.
@Cindy – oh good, because big wacky grin was my experience of the whole thing too. 🙂
@Hiro – love you so much.
Maybe it’s a dragon named Waldo.
.-= Riin´s last post … Punk pin cushion on wheels =-.
Oh, I am utterly charmed and oh so quietly happy for you and for little-miss-invisible, for the former-dragon-of-heroic-journeys, and for everyone who is going to get to meet little-miss-invisible IN PERSON! My charmed happiness for everyone has made me resolve that a new intention (I’d say goal but I hate the g word) is to be able to attend these sorts of functions whenever I want to. Yes. I want that, I do. And I intend to get there.
And as always, I am increasingly amazed to find that someone else’s mind works this way, with invisible somethings and formerly heroic dragons. And that someone else facilitates these conversations. I’d actually started thinking I had been a bit crazy for ever having these sorts of THINGS in my world, and even more crazy for having talked to them in other people’s worlds.
So thank you Havi, and Hiro, and Selma and Little-Miss-Invisibility, and Former-Dragon-Of-Heroic-Journeys, for wordlessly telling me that if I’m crazy, it’s NOT because I totally understand you all (or even because I want to be invisible)
Camp Biggification sounds rad! Adore your fantastical stories. This sums up how I feel but have struggled to articulate- the whole conflicted invisibility but totally visible to my tribe thing.
“A dragon in drag” I’m going to be giggling about imagery ALL day. I’m muy celosa of the people who are going to do this course with you and Selma. MUY!
I sure love your blog. I don’t ever know what to say! But I always want to say something. I’m in digestion mode. I guess I’m a lurker with aspirations of being a ‘commenter’.
Oh wow. Havi, I love this. Loooove! Camp Biggification sounds like SO much fun.
Seriously.
Woot!
.-= Lucy Viret´s last post … Decisions that shouldn’t be hard. =-.
I agree with Lilly–I’m new and I still don’t know what to say…
Love the analogy/struggle b/w wanting to be seen, and wanting to be invisible. Right now, I want to be invisibly present as a fly on the wall of your amazing, creative, intelligent mind…
Thank you for the delicious adventure Havi.
Linda’s last post…Mindful of Avoiding the Present
Camp Biggification “scampered off and hid in the Angel Refueling Station”? Oh my! If even the event itself has such a playful nature, I can feel the goofing off will be of the highest quality! I’m really looking forward to it. 🙂
.-= Josiane´s last post … Middle of the night musings =-.
Dragon butts are very scaly, or so I hear.
Kazoo!
.-= Graveyard Greg´s last post … Dungeons & Denizens =-.
Ah, Havi, I love your posts. I love the Invisibility Cloak idea–I have often wanted one myself. And sometimes to be able to shed the one I feel like I wear.
One day, I would like to play in your Playground and to be one of your Right People 🙂
.-= Kari Wolfe´s last post … VOTE! A quick note on Deconstructions =-.
Thank you for another awesome post. How can it be that your words can reflect so well my state of being sometimes? Over the last half year I am waiting for every new one, curious and hopeful to read about what might be going on for me as well, though not able to put it into words as you do.
When I read this one, a huge smile was drawn on my face and I felt. That’s it. This is exactly where I am at right now…and suddenly my dream from this week about a huge, thick skinned, slow and strong elephant made sense to me. No more warhorses that fall with every scare. They seemed like a better choice in the past but won’t bring me anywhere now; I need a more deliberate companion for this road.
Havi, thank you. You are so awesome. Things in the back of my brain keep listening whenever I’m reading one of your posts and things just kinda click sometimes.
There has been so many things in my life, which is just me trying to hide without hiding thing. I love being silly, but if you’re silly with just anyone, you get THOSE looks. So you leave little clues that other people can be silly with you. Or that you’re into the same things as they are. And I didn’t even realize I was doing it! And it also clicked with a sense of sovereignty.
I really wish that I could figure out how to earn enough money to feel safe in coming to your thing. I’m probably the only one in my way, but the fear of risk and uncertainty is pretty crippling right now, at least in that aspect. I want to be *good* and not spend money on “frivolous” stuff because I have too much debt. <- My monsters talk a good game, because I totally don't think your class will be frivolous at all. It sounds fun and would be super-useful.
I got really disappointed about the pie there for a second.
Phew.
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Oh yeah I remember =-.
Oh, this is wonderful stuff!
And I’m sorry for having such a monotonous case of Yijing-fixation (there is no cure), but you are writing brilliantly about hexagrams 36 (Brightness Hidden) and 37 (People in the Home), you really are.
Quoting (argh) from my own book (cringe)
Hilary, that is really interesting… Anytime I have been hurt or sad or when I feel like I’ve done the wrong thing, I’ve always–ALWAYS–felt like I wanted to go “home.” But I always end up asking myself where that “home” is. Not my parents’ house–so long since I left there. And not any of my other apartments. I think home is a feeling or an emotional state that we need to reach in time of need. Thank you for that wonderful insight! 🙂
.-= Kari Wolfe´s last post … Photo: Feet, Colorado Springs, CO =-.
I love this post. Such crazy beautiful imagery and stories and conversations–and the promise of more good things coming from you, Havi. So exciting!
The naming reminded me of our intentions for naming our son while I was still pregnant. We drew up a list of about a dozen names, but we knew–knew!–that we would pick from the top three because we liked them so much.
And then he was born. We looked at him and realized none of the names on the list fit. So we had to think for a day or so, and (uncharacteristically for us) we ended up being completely OK that we had a baby without a name. We waited until he could tell us, in his newborn way, what his name should be. Today the name still fits, and I don’t think any of our pre-birth names would work for him now. Our patience paid off.
.-= Leslie M-B´s last post … For Mother’s Day =-.
Kind of funny/sad aside to this in the NYT about a boy who really did grow up without a name:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/us/10name.html?hpw
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Oh yeah I remember =-.
Kari – don’t thank me, thank whoever conceived of putting the hexagrams in this sequence. (No-one even knows when that happened, let alone how or who.)
What tickles me completely is how perfectly it matches with what Havi’s doing. Even down to the way People in the Home is made of light inside and wood or wind outside, which carries the influence of the hearth out beyond the home. Home as light-and-warmth generator 🙂 . Camp Biggification as Home.
Hard to Get Marketing!!
I love that, I get that!
I have felt this over the years, – everything works better when I am slightly hard to get, because it shows the world I know that what I have to share is valuable.
GOD I love that expression. Thank you for this very revealing post.
ITS OK TO HIDE
thank the Greek gods on the Olympos
.-= Hannah´s last post … Hannah_savannah: unexpected internet access @ deep in countryside France =-.