So. Background.
The official definition of an “iguana” (as used here) refers to whatever thing you really don’t feel like doing.
Stupid, crappy, annoying things that refuse to stop being things.
I’ve written about my iguanaccountability days. And, most recently, about my gigantic scary pile of iguanas and doom.
And then Holly told me (yes, on Twitter, that’s how people tell me things) that she had recently learned that the proper name for a group of iguanas is a mess.
How ridiculously perfect is that? I love Holly.
A mess. Of iguanas. Yes.
Which sent me on the most delightful wild internet goose chase to find out more.
Note about goose-chasing versus geese-chasing: As soon as you get into collective nouns, we’re talking about a gaggle of geese if they’re on the ground, but it’s a skein of geese if they’re in flight.
I don’t know what the collective noun situation for “wild goose chase” is but I’m going to refer to it as a whispering. A whispering of wild goose chases. Oh yes.
Anyway.
I can’t not share this, of course.
Here are some of the extremely awesome things that happen to perfectly ordinary creatures when they gang up in groups.
It reads like a children’s book. Or the best accidental poem ever.
A rhumba of rattlesnakes
A dissimulation of birdsAn audience of squids
A rumpus of baboonsA knot of toads
A battery of barracudaA streak of tigers
An array of hedgehogsA sneak of weasels
A squirm of wormsA file of civil servants
An army of caterpillarsA conspiracy of ravens
A convocation of eaglesA murmuration of starlings
A badling of ducksA blaze of dragons
You realize where this is going, I assume.
Remember when we named the moons? And then we named the rain?
That was fun.
So of course now I have to come up with collective nouns for everything in my business.
Because I will not be able to get any work done ever again unless I do this.
Shall we?
Yallah.
A gaggle of Glossaries
A flailing of Shivanauts
A whooshing of epiphanies
A scramble of Friday Chickens
A congregation of Chickeneers
A trumpeting of Fake Bands of the Week
An assembling of Helper Mice
A calvacade of Commenter Mice
A den of Destuckification
A swooping of Fairy Godmothers
An invisibility cloak of Beloved Lurkers
Play with me!
I know I’ve probably missed a bunch of things that totally deserve naming.
And you can probably come up with alternative names that beat the hell out of everything I’ve got so far.
Or maybe you want to invent collective nouns for stuff in your own life. Works for me.
A coolness of collective nouns, if you will. A smattering of silliness. A preponderance of puns. A waterloo of wordishness.
Stopping. Now.
I would love it if you would play with me.
p.s. Among other things I’ve learned today? A castrated male sheep or goat is a wether.
Happy Monday, guys.
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I frequently complain about the English language as part of my job, but a conspiracy of ravens has always been one of my favorite phrases.
Here are my contributions for the day:
-a deluge of mailing lists
-a cacophony of clients
Good luck with your iguanas, everyone!
.-= Holly´s last post … How to get tagline results at a rest stop in three easy steps. =-.
Love. This. Madly.
.-= Lisa Firke´s last post … (Not) waiting for things to calm down =-.
A giggle of games!
A mess of iguanas is perfect, but I also like: an imposition of iguanas.
I’m trying to think of a good collective term for introverts, but I’m drawing a blank. Anybody got one?
Yay! I love posts like this. 🙂
A pecking of Twitterers.
A singularity of Selmas. (There IS only one)
A blorping of bloggers.
An en-garde of entrepreneurs.
And last (and most certainly least) since the grouping for Crows is “A murder of Crows”. Do you know what it is for a group of Mimes?
A “Justifiable Homicide”.
.-= Jeff Moriarty´s last post … WordPress hack is nasty – check your site security =-.
A murder of meetings.
A ballyhoo of boxes that need to be packed.
This is awesome. When I was a kid, my parents had a book on their coffee table called An Exaltation of Larks, which I still think is about the best collective name ever.
How about a lobby of monsters?
.-= Leslie M-B´s last post … For Mother’s Day =-.
My favorite “official” collective noun has always been “a murder of crows”.
Now, for introverts, how about “a singularity of introverts”?
In the Dragonriders series, McAffrey calls it a fair of dragons. Both are cool.
A buffet of blogposts.
A cackle of comments.
A barrage of guest posts.
A swingset of sunny days.
A corsage of kisses.
A blessing of massages.
I like this game.
.-= Eric Normand´s last post … Dance of Shiva while waiting for tea =-.
Ohmigoodness! This is fabulous.
What about….
A Bed of Biggifications (like oysters, growing pearls!)
And I can’t go without mentioning (my very own) – Flock of Stuck.
Although, they actually show up as birds, so I’m not sure how clever that actually is.
And incase anyone is looking for a crib sheet for animal groupings, one of my favorite musicians, Carrie Newcomer, has a fun little song about them on her newest album. You can get the lyrics from her website. 🙂
http://www.carrienewcomer.com/#carrie-newcomer-before-and-after.html
@Thorin Messer — a singularity of introverts! Oh, that’s marvelous!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Liberation =-.
This week I have an avalanche of appointments. I’m working on getting to the point where I’m riding on it instead of running my head off from it and/or getting smushed under it…
Happy Monday to everyone!
@Leslie M-B, I have that same book somewhere lying around. It is well-beloved and only doesn’t have pride of place because we moved out of the last house in a hurry and I never got around to unpacking.
Havi, you already know about my Monstriary. Not quite a collective name so much as a field guide, though, so perhaps a judgement of monsters? (It is a nice thought to have them all in one place. Maybe in an auditorium. With a lectern at the front; they may be a judgment, but when I think about it, I have the bully pulpit.)
One of the reasons your use of “iguana” resonates so strongly for me is that when I was younger, my family kept an iguana as a pet. One summer the rest of my family went out of the country on vacation; I volunteered to stay behind and watch the house (I was 15 and foolish…). Naturally, within 24 hours of them walking out the door, the iguana fell ill and died within the week. They didn’t even have email access then – I had to tell them when they got home.
So an iguana as a thing that you really, really don’t want to do? Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … On adulthood =-.
Oh, I so love this! Wordfun is so much…well, fun!
A weeble of words.
A popple of pillows.
A bristle of paintbrushes.
A pickle of papers.
(I guess I like words that end with -le!)
Happy Monday! C:
.-= Kai´s last post … Building a blanket fort takes time. =-.
If I’m feeling testy and misanthropic I might be tempted to say:
-a curse of phone calls
– a harassment of deadlines
Well, of course they’re called wethers! Did you know a baby boy goat is a bucling (because a grown boy goat is a buc)? We have two of them, which I like to call a bobble of buclings.
My piles of dyed, but unspun wool? A possibility of fiber.
The stack of unopened mail? A peplum of bills (because peplum is the silly bit on Victorian clothing)
.-= Tara´s last post … What Can I do with Hemp Laceweight? =-.
a chorus of comments
an avalanche of photos
a kaleidoscope of patterns
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … perfection =-.
One of my favorites that a friend of mine came up with (but isnt work related unless you work with kids) is
A chaos of children
which we extrapolated to
A drama of teenagers
how ’bout:
–a bombast of expletives
–a puddle of puppies
–a gaggle of gratitude
–a helping of Havi
Happy Monday to all!
@Linda Esposito — a helping of Havi! Absolutely!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Liberation =-.
A skein of geese? Really? Oh, this makes my yarnie brain giddy. I’ll have to dye some goose-colored yarn. 🙂
.-= Riin´s last post … Woohoo! =-.
These are all making me very cheerful.
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … The Spooky Secret to Designing Your Perfect Business =-.
This is delightful! I must give it a try…
a barrage of brick-a-brac
a chorus of cell phones
a collage of curiousities
A harassment of deadlines! An avalanche of appointments! A weeble of words! A swingset of sunny days! I can’t even keep track of how great these are.
@Raye – ooh, a chorus of cell phones!
@Linda – a puddle of puppies! How is that not a thing already?
@Tina – I’m also taking a chaos of children. Fabulous.
@Tara – I adore you. A possibility of fiber. So great.
@Chris – a judgment of monsters. Nice! And oh I’m sorry about your iguana story. That is freakishly apt. And hard. Yuck.
@Thorin – a singularity of introverts = brilliant.
@leslie – ooh a LOBBY of monsters. I am going to use that one too.
You guys are the best to play with. Seriously.
My head is so full of ideas I can’t stand it!
And … just got a link to this piece of greatness from Sinclair Sexsmith. So my day is officially made.
Haha! So much brilliance in this.
My favorites are Mess of Iguanas, Battery of Barracuda, Singularity of Introverts (good one, Thorin) and from the link via Sinclair Sexsmith: a Parliament of Owls.
I keep picturing owl-y versions of George Clinton and Bootsy Collins.
.-= Victoria Brouhard´s last post … When the Thing Becomes Too Important =-.
Ugh – Leslie M-B, I responded to one part of your comment and completely overlooked the second and talked over you. My apologies.
Especially egregious since I love your mass-noun. “Lobby” works well on two levels – they’re lobbyists, each with their own agenda, and they’re all in the lobby waiting to get their turn with the inner heart.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … On adulthood =-.
Did I miss pirates? A clash of pirates.
.-= Anna-Liza´s last post … Pollyanna Messes with Ann Budd =-.
This is fabulous. First time commenter here! Right now I’m dealing with:
a mortification of Real Housewives episodes waiting for me on my DVR.
I’ve read An Exaltation of Larks or, The Venereal Game. It’s by James Lipton: yup, the Inside the Actors Studio guy.
I’m partial to:
a riffraff of knaves
a murmuration of starlings
an incredulity of cuckolds
a leap of leopards
I imagine one could have a riffraff of pirates as well. Or perhaps a peg leg of pirates.
a squeak of rubber ducks
a contortion of anxieties
a mumbling of apologies
a frenzy of to-do lists
a meteor shower of happy accidents
.-= claire´s last post … Burning Matches =-.
Oh. Wow. (I say that a lot when I come here!) Must read everything when my eyes aren’t burning with tired.
.-= Sherron´s last post … Happy Day, Mommies! =-.
I love a sneak of weasels … and now I’m off to find my own sneaky sneak of weasels–my ferrets, who are probably nesting in the arm of the couch right now.
A rumble of monsters …
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … Mother’s Day in Pictures =-.
Faaaark, too much fun.
I have nothing to add, but this has really really made me very bubbly.
(Glad to see you playing in the midst of your iguanas, too, Havi.)
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Words that don’t piss people off =-.
I’m running a little linguistic experiment over at All-Sorts.org which invites you to submit novel collective noun ideas through Twitter, using the #collectivenouns hashtag. Check out the leaderboard for some favourites.
.-= Drew Neil´s last post … First Birthday =-.
a gale of giggles
a dollop of dreams
a passel of patterns
a ravish of revelations
a bristling cornucopia of commentary brilliance
A double helping of Havi for me and a
squat of Selma on the side!
.-= chicsinger simone´s last post … Now is the month of Maying…Lilac edition. =-.
Faaaark, too much fun.
I have nothing to add, but this has really really made me very bubbly.
(Glad to see you playing in the midst of your iguanas, too, Havi.)
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Words that don’t piss people off =-.
Yes! i am part of the collective of Invisible Lurkerers who are beloved! woohoo!
how about a bleargh of stuckness?
This makes me so happy I cannot even tell you. In fact, I need to go around saying A BLEARGH OF STUCKNESS over and over again. Eeeeee!
Haha,
“A weeble of words.
A popple of pillows.
A bristle of paintbrushes.
A pickle of papers.”
This gets really hard when you’re not a native speaker.