There’s this site I love.
I’ve been kind of avoiding it lately, but that’s my stuff. It’s called Mini Book Expo for Bloggers, and they give you books. To review. If you’re a blogger.
It’s cool because you get a book for free, and then you get to talk up the book to people who might fall in love with it, and everybody wins. And by everybody I mean book people — readers, authors, publishers, and, of course, those bloggers who either a. like to read or b. are stuckified about what to write about.
I always have stuff to write about (usually too much stuff to write about), but I also really love to read. And I thought this site was genius.
But I screwed up.
Okay, here’s what happened. I chose two books. I got them for free, yay. And I hated them.
Well, not so much hated them as that I wasn’t meant to read them. I’m just not one of their Right People.
But now I have these books. And I want to review them. But I have only negative things to say about them, which isn’t really fair because these books need to find their right people, not for me to scare everyone away from them.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch …
So I’m taking this course with the magical Jen Hofmann (for the second time!) and it’s supposedly about space and clearing and organizing, but — like all good things — it’s actually about your relationship with yourself.
Jen is amazing, and one of the things that she makes so clear is that in order for your workspace to support you and nourish you, you have to remove the things that don’t belong there.
So I’ve been in this pretty deep process of internal and external clearing, as I work on my poor, hurt arms and my office and everything else that’s going on right now.
Yesterday it occurred to me that my “guilt shelf” of books that I know I’m not going to review here does not belong in my office. I don’t need a guilt shelf.
Yes, that’s probably embarrassingly obvious, but it took me awhile to figure that out. So it’s time for these books to find their way out of my space and into a place that will be better for them.
My plan! It is …. a plan!
Right. So I’ll tell you what these books are, and if you think you might like to read one and review it (and then tell the Mini Book Expo people that you’re doing it), I will send it to you.
You can volunteer yourself in the comments, or send an email to Marissa (support at fluentself dot com). And if no one volunteers, I’ll mail them back to the Mini Book Expo people.
The first book: “Where’s your WOW?”
The first book is called “Where’s your WOW? 16 Ways to make your competitors wish they were you!” It’s by Robyn Spitzman and Rick Frishman and it comes highly recommended by Jay Conrad Levinson, if that does it for you.
I read business and marketing books all the time, albeit with a certain degree of internal resistance. Over time I’ve gotten pretty good at just gleaning the bits I like, but this time just wasn’t able to stomach it.
Just looking at chapter titles like “You Gotta Have a ‘Brand Slam’!” provokes awful revenge fantasies towards the authors for perpetrating that much violence and stupidity against both the English language and my consciousness.
Take this book. Please.
The second book: “Your Perfect Fit”
The second book is called “Your Perfect Fit” and I completely misunderstood what this was about. Somehow, from the description I gathered that it was about interacting with body criticism and self-image.
Since I used to teach a workshop at yoga studios called “learning to love your body”, and since the theme of working on your relationship with yourself is so relevant to the stuff I teach now about patterns and habits, it seemed like this would be — dare I say — a perfect fit.
This is not that book at all.
This is a book about how to choose the right strappy sandals so you won’t look fat, how to do exercises so you won’t look fat, and how to snack healthily … so you won’t look fat.
To which all I can say is: ?!?!?!
But of course I am a woman who doesn’t wear heels. Okay, let’s be honest. I own two pairs of shoes. Both of which were chosen for comfort and not for whether or not they make my legs look good.
And I can’t even begin to imagine having interest in or patience for advice like “wear jeans that fit” or “vacation is not an excuse to eat everything in sight”.
But again, I’m not their Right People. If you’d like to learn a bunch of exercises and/or uh, find out what type of sleeves flatter your body type or something, I would be more than happy to mail this to you.
Speaking of Right People …
This is barely even slightly relevant, but what the hell.
Last night I had a fairly insane dream that I was back at SXSW and I was headed to some cafe with someone.
And then it turned out that Tim Ferris was going to be there to and I was all “Really? Do we have to?” because I am so not one of his Right People. And the friend I was with said we couldn’t get out of it and I was going blech blech blech because I am not very nice.
But then Tim-in-my-dream was very nice. And he asked me, “Given where your business is at right now, what do you think you and your duck need the most and is there any way that I could help you get it?”
So I said, “That’s a terrific question.” Because it was. And he said, ” Yeah, I know.”
And I said that I had to think about it. Because I had to think about it. And then I thought about it.
And then something really cool happened.
While I was thinking about it, I had this humming sensation around my heart. It was a very pleasant sort of feeling, and I knew my heart was telling me that my business wants to be peaceful and full of love.
And I was all, there’s no way I’m going to say this out loud because these are marketing people and they so won’t get it, and I’ll come across as the world’s cheesiest businessperson.
But I didn’t have anything else to say, so I just didn’t say anything. And then Tim-in-my-dream said, “I think your business needs to be peaceful and full of love.” And I said, “You’re pretty insightful for a guy who cheats in kickboxing tournaments.” And he said, “Yeah, I know.”
And I thought, man, I’m glad I’m not his Right People, but it must be really great for them to be his Right People.
And the point is …
No idea.
But seriously, take one of these books off my hands. Or both of them.
And hand them over to someone who would enjoy them. So that I can go back to talking up the fabulous work they do at Mini Book Expo and get rid of my a guilt shelf.
The more space I free up — in my heart and on my bookshelf — the more peaceful and loving my business will become. That may make me the world’s cheesiest businessperson — but I can also feel the truth if it.
Just because I don’t like something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it doesn’t have value. It just doesn’t have value for me.
So I’m going to sit with that for a while and enjoy all this new space.
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Didn’t you basically just review the books? I mean, I can tell the first one has no value for me based on what you wrote. And you were honest about your own reactions and how they colored the text, which many reviewers fail to do.
Bill Randalls last blog post..COLD HEAT has drugged me up
You’re right in saying that just because you don’t find any value in those books, doesn’t mean that they’re not valuable.
Someone will be glad to take them off of your hands.
Not me. Totally not me…
Thanks for another great post.
Sues last blog post..Cooking Tips and Blog Flips
I can’t wait to see what the intersection of the venn diagram looks like (cuz I think in venn diagrams a lot)– between “people who read havi” and “people who want to read a book about strappy sandals”.
Though I have to admit I’m totally into all of that stuff (I just don’t want to read a whole book about it). So hopefully the book will find its right person 🙂
Eileens last blog post..Slacker’s guide to success
This is really interesting. Asking a group of people who are probably your right people if they want to read something you’re not the right people for is kinda like asking someone to say they’re not really your right people. I know our right people can come in various shapes and textures (I was going to say sizes, but that’s too much like the second book), and we need to feel free to speak up about how we’re different.
But I think this is a tribe issue and many of us want to fit in, so it will be interesting to see if anyone volunteers to take these books . . . although they might just do it to “prove” they’re still individuals even if they’re one of your people.
Complicated.
Terry Heaths last blog post..Lifehacks àla Gilbert and Sullivan – Make a Plan
I don’t read all your blog posts. But every time I read one, I’m in it. You’re either creepy stalker woman and writing about me constantly, or I’m just clicking the tweets on the right days.
In any event, I agree with Bill – you just reviewed ’em. Now drop them off at goodwill or the library book sale and put your energy back into healing.
I adore you immensely, Havi!
🙂 Jen
@Jennifer and @Bill – You’ve both captured my thoughts on the books. I guess that’s probably (one of) the reason(s) we’re here.
I’ve had a few instances of being trapped in the position of reviewing something I didn’t like. Uncomfortable? Yes. At-the-time-necessary? Also yes. So I used lots of qualifiers to make it clear that though the books/albums were not my thing, they might be my readers’ thing. But, really Havi – just Freecycle (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/freecycleportland/) the books or give ’em to a charity. Their Right People will find them. Just maybe not here.
Welcome home, Havi!
Funny how we can all perceive things differently. I completely skipped the books. What I immediately thought was, “Great, Havi’s cleaning up all those energetic strands that keep consuming energy and bringing her heart fully into her work!”
And for a moment that made me feel less alone out here… thanks ;o)
Maartens last blog post..What we offer up for happiness
This is where BookMooch (http://bookmooch.com) comes in handy! Swap books around and get your Right books in exchange 🙂
Those were not only reviews, but darn good honest ones. It’s not a review if it’s all good ‘n glossy. And reviews are supposed to be from *your* point of view, not everyone on the world’s. 😉
As for finding new homes, besides the aforementioned always-fab freecycle, there is http://www.paperbackswap.com and bookcrossing.com, and I know my local library has a free shelf so maybe yours does too?
Good to see you back here, hope SXSW was a blast. Ezra entertained us on Twitter while you were gone 🙂
I review books for Amazon’s Vine program. They asked me if I’d be willing to read books based on my interests and review them – it’s easy and fun. I’m an author groupie and I get to choose the books, they send ’em to me (it’s free by the way) and I say what my experience was. There are no strings attached to me loving the book or writing positive reviews.
Most of the time, because I’m making the selections myself and these are new books, I love them and write glowing reviews.
Recently though I was asked to sample a product – it was a drink actually – and it tasted like carbonated Triaminic. Gave it to my son and he felt the same way.
So, that’s what I wrote. It was the truth.
I also ordered a book based on my interests and it didn’t set right with me for some reason. I can’t remember the name of the book or why but I just wrote what my experience was – and that was the end of that.
Is this place looking for reviews based on your experience with the books Havi or do they just want glowing reviews?
I think reader’s benefit from hearing honestly what other’s think about books, products, etc – so your honest feedback even if you’re not their right person may be what they are looking for.
Maybe they just want your impression of their books – and I think you have a lot to offer when it comes to that sort of thing, regardless of whether you’re their right people or not.
Well, not to be black listed by “your people” because I’m your people, but I could handle the Your Perfect Fit book. There are many reasons why, but going into them here makes me feel a little exposed and dare I say a bit judgy-ed.
Irregardlessly, (which I get is horrible, therefore fun) if you’d like to hook me up, I’ll give it a review from someone who may find it useful.
Also, reviewing books is something on my list I’ve been wanting to tip my toe into. Seems like a good way to begin. I’ll help you, you help me.
XO
Juliannas last blog post..EPIC? Me? Go on. Really?
OK, so the second book sounds a bit vacuous, but every now and then some easy reading is fun. But will it tell me to avoid cheese balls to keep my figure???? I’m up for it if you haven’t already found a taker 🙂
carma
carmas last blog post..Friday Favorites
I agree with Bill, you have reviewed the books and are relieved of all guilt. But if you still aren’t convinced, sent the books back, because Eileen is also right, the cross section of “people who read Havi” and “people who want to read a whole book about strappy sandals and how not to look fat is likely awfully small.
I really couldn’t read much past — you own two pairs of shoes.
Because my brain literally started going, “Seriously? How does someone live with two pairs of shoes?” (I’m a total and complete shoe whore. Yep. I admit it.)
I’m just like….wow! (ha)
(And yes, I know plenty of people have few shoes. And I’ve actually gone a whole entire year without buying a new pair which — for me — is pretty awesome and indicative of a lot of good things and changes in my life. But then again, I mean….I just love shoes! haha)
On another note, given my HR and corporate training background, I thought the “Perfect Fit” would be about finding the right job or career for you. (HA)
All the best!
deb
Deb Owens last blog post..what’s wrong with AIG, businesses, and the country
I will be checking out that site!!
Also — aren’t you allowed to give bad reviews? That’s part of the whole ‘review’ thing, right? no guilt needed!!
daphnes last blog post..How Do You Choose What To Read?
Hmm…I’m with Jen in that I don’t read every post, but I’m super in the ones you read. So you must be busy stalking folks all the time.
I was having firecracker brain the other day and had to resort to mind-mapping to make sense of what was going on in there, and I got stuck at my reviews. I have six or seven books that I’ve meant to review but never have. So I feel guilty about it, because some of them are books for my friends and they’re really great. (Both the books and the friends.)
And then I got more at SXSW – both books and friends. And friends with books. And they’re really great, too.
I’m still stuck with it, though, because I don’t know how I’m going to get them all out. And because I don’t like having too many reviews without much other content, but I’m already backed up for weeks with other posts that I can’t figure out how to get out.
Stuck, Stuck, Stuck.
So now I get to sit with it for a while and really think about the “shoulds” that are at play.
p.s. Really great to see and talk to you and Richard. We’re actually real people! :p
Charlies last blog post..Illuminated Mind: The Lie of The Four Hour Work Week
@Julianna – I’m going to send you the book! And then if you like you can send it to Carma when you’re done. Though I hope she’ll keep featuring pictures of gigantic-scary containers full of cheese balls.
Can you send Marissa your address? Just support -at – fluentself dot com? And I’ll make sure it gets to you! Hooray. I love this. And then if you hate it, we can laugh about it together. And if you love it, then I will be overjoyed that someone got useful stuff from it.