As you may have noticed …. there are a gazillion experts out there today, each of whom apparently know all the answers and are more than happy to sell them to you.
When it comes to choosing the people you want to learn from and study with, whether in the real or the virtual world, (or: “on or off the mat” as we like to say in the yoga world), you gotta choose pretty carefully.
Since this is something I get asked about a lot … I’ve done some thinking around this and have narrowed my experience down to some basic guidelines. Just to help you separate the wheat from the chaff and get a little more focused on finding those people who are really going to be the right teachers for you.
Because I’m a tree-hugging dirt-worshipper, I have also included five yoga ways to choose a teacher and a mini practice session that gives you a way to apply these five yoga concepts. If you think it’s lame, skip that part.
The five questions you want to ask
1. Do they exist?
No, I’m not asking a philosophical question. I mean, do they exist as far as the search engine gods are concerned. Are they Google-able? Obviously this isn’t going to be relevant if your new teacher is a recluse in a cave, but in general it is easy to research people and rarely done.
“Maybe not”
One of my students recently told me about a marketing weekend designed for practitioners in the holistic /alternative healing professions. This is honorable work and a growing field and they must have realized, “hey, there are a ton of people who want to help others and don’t know or don’t want to know how to market themselves”.
I looked the instructors up and they were nowhere to be found except on a two self-designed pages where they were promoting themselves. I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they have been collecting information and now just want to get out there and share it. But why would I want to study marketing from someone who hasn’t done an adequate job for him- or herself yet?
“Absolutely”
Paul Grilley is a bright, capable and knowledgeable yoga teacher. You can learn this from his book, his articles, his DVDs, his students or by doing a twenty second search on the internet. Everywhere you look you’ll find information that will confirm or reconfirm your impression of him as someone who knows of what he speaks.
2. Do they walk the talk?
Or better said: do they walk the talk that you like to hear?
“Maybe not”
Lately I keep hearing about yoga teachers who bill themselves as yoga teacher / performance artist / choreographer / dancer. Or some other combination. Use your imagination.
I would seriously doubt the professional focus of a plumber who advertised himself as a plumber / tap dancer / architect. I’m also not necessarily interested in getting financial advice from an accountant / mime / beekeeper.
Note: if you are an accountant/mime/beekeeper I do want to have tea with you. That sounds like an adventure. I’m buying.
While I totally understand remember how hard it is to make a living teaching yoga, and understand that many teachers take on other work to sustain themselves, this is a separate issue.
At this point in my yoga life I’m interested in learning from someone who lives yoga. To me this means that no matter what you do to pay the bills, your primary focus is directed inward to a life of quiet introspection. I want to study yoga with someone who has already let go of the need to shock, to be applauded and to impress.
Obviously, your standards don’t have to match mine: the point is that you want to find someone who a. knows what they’re doing and b. who stands by a personal philosophy that meshes well with your own.
“Absolutely”
Alon Sagee, the Yoga Business Coach donates ten percent of what he earns to karma causes. This is a perfect example of living what you teach. Without ever meeting him you know that his professional life mirrors his beliefs and that he puts his own teachings into practice.
3. Who says?
Unfortunately it’s not just about what people say, but who says it and how. Testimonials and recommendations are great, but only if you can trust them.
“Maybe not”
Recently I decided to try out a new web-based software and asked my assistant to investigate. Among other things, she checked up on the people who had left glowing testimonials on the company website. It turned out that these recommendations were given by people weren’t using the system and just lending their name as a favor to a friend. Hmmmm.
The flip side of this is the sort of people and products that these experts recommend. I adore Marcia Wieder, her personable approach and her high commitment to integrity, but she occasionally recommends the work of coaches who belong in my own personal “blatant examples of what not to do” file. And even though I still really, really like her, she’s ended up gradually falling off my list of people I listen to — guilt by subconscious association.
“Absolutely”
Andrey Lappa is not only my intellectual mentor, he’s the smartest yogi I’ve ever met. When he recommends a book, a teacher or an idea, I know he’s spent time and energy working with their material. When you have someone you can trust, it’s a great start.
4. Do they “meet you where you are”?
This is probably one of the most important things to look out for.
“Maybe not”
A teacher or an expert who starts off with force-feeding you their assumptions or philosophy, isn’t acknowledging your mindset, your inclinations or your capacity for change. It’s great that they want to help you, but they can’t help if their one-sided presentation is exacerbating your internal resistance.
For example, it’s common for many coaches and abundance experts to inform you pointblank that you are “creating your own reality”, this assumes that you are comfortable with a certain philosophical position — or should be. Many people really resonate with this concept but I would guess that there are just as many people for whom this concept brings up instantaneous resistance. Find a teacher who can work with you from your starting point: how you feel about things now.
People constantly come to me wanting to “get rid of” their habits. Even though I actually teach how to let go of, resolve and replace habits in a non-violent way, I know that it isn’t useful or helpful for me to begin by telling people that their habits can also be teachers. Instead my focus shifts to what is true for the individual person in this particular moment and we start from there.
“Absolutely”
Bari Tessler and her colleagues at Conscious Bookkeeping don’t just help people deal with their issues around money. They do it without an agenda of their own. Instead of convincing you to have the “right” relationship with money, they are willing to do the work to figure out where you are, and what you would like to change. Their tools and techniques can train you to build a positive and happy relationship with money, but they aren’t going to lecture you on what to think and how to live. This level of respect is what happens when someone is willing to meet you where you are.
5. Do they really know their stuff?
Or are they barely one step ahead of you?
“Maybe not”
There is a growing trend in the personal and business coaching worlds towards what I call the failure experts. These are the ones who cheerfully proclaim “I did everything wrong and learned the hard way so now you can learn from my mistakes”.
I went to a marketing class at the San Francisco Small Business Association led by a woman who had four home businesses go down the tubes and had just started her fifth: teaching people how to market themselves. Do I appreciate her positive attitude and desire to help people avoid her own errors? Hell yeah. But when it comes down to it, I really want to learn from someone who knows more than I do on the subject at hand, and feel secure that this knowing comes from at least a few years of “getting it right”.
Are they offering “little known secrets” if you buy their product or are they giving you advice that’s on the mark right now? Lots of people will hint at the information that you’ll get once you sign on forever. The ones you want to study with are those who have enough intellectual property and are comfortable enough in it that they can joyfully give you some help to start with.
“Absolutely”
Joan Stewart, the Publicity Hound, gives useful PR and marketing information every week in her free newsletter. And when I say useful I mean that I use it. All the time. I don’t necessarily agree with everything she says and her style is way more aggressive than mine, but I certainly respect her enormous expertise. She is completely at home with her material and is constantly giving away information and encouragement.
The Yoga Model
How can you use your body/mind to help you out with the quest for the right teacher? Some tips:
On the physical level
If you can generally trust your body, go with it and use it as a guide. Pay attention to the physical sensations that come up (tension, excitement, etc) and try to distinguish between sensations that are a reaction to the subject matter and those which react to the teacher or the specific material.
On the energy level
One energy technique is to align your needs with your intention. For this you can use affirmations, “even though” language or words combined with acupressure techniques such as with EFT or TAT. An example of affirmative speech might be: “I’m ready and willing to find the right teacher for me” or “Even though I’m not sure if I’m ready, I choose to feel safe thinking that the right person is coming my way. All I need to know will be revealed to me.”Use energy techniques only if this is something you’re comfortable with. Don’t force it.
On the emotional level
How do you feel? Even if you don’t have a gut instinct one way or the other about a potential teacher, how does the material make you feel? Use “even though” language and NVC to talk yourself through these feelings and get clear on what you want and need.
On the mental level
Use your brain. Remember my assistant checking up on testimonials? Research! Ask! Communicate!
Write down potential pros and cons of working with someone and evaluate your doubts: are they based in the body, in a “sense”, an “emotion” or “opinion” or maybe an intuitive knowing? And which of these “sensory locations” or areas of information do you instinctively trust? Where are your patterns?
On the awareness level
Meditation is great because it clears your mind, calms your senses and can give you unexpected answers. Ask yourself: What do I want? What do I need? Is this right? Listen for an answer from your inner teacher. And if you don’t get any information out of it, at the very least you have given yourself the gift of quiet time with yourself. All the answers you need can come from this space when you are ready to receive them.
Multi-directional work: a 5-in-1 exercise
You can also combine techniques from the different levels in a ceremony or ritual. Multi-directional work is always more powerful than working on an individual level. Here is one example, presented in 7 steps.
1. Atmosphere (energy level)
Choose a time (at least 30 minutes to an hour) to work on this alone. Mark out your space. Light a candle or some incense. Have a blank pad of paper and something to write with.
2. Preparation (mental)
Write down the ideal qualities you are looking for in a teacher, educator, advisor or expert, whether in the virtual world or right where you are. Which of these qualities, if any, do you share?
3. Preparation (emotional)
Work out any resistance you might have to the process or to the result. Cover your eyes with the palms of your hands, breathe deeply and talk yourself through using “even though” language.
Example: “Even though this feels kind of stupid and I’m not sure it could have any effect in real life and I have a lot of resistance, I am allowed to have resistance, I know that it couldn’t hurt to try something new and I’m ready to learn some things about myself and the way I learn. Even though part of me is worried that I may never find the right person, I know that I’m allowed to worry right now and I know that all the knowledge I need is inside of me. I’m getting better at working on letting it come through. I’m getting better at asking for help. I’m getting better at receiving help.”
4. Scripting (energy/emotional/mental)
Write a description of your ideal teacher again, this time in the form of a journal entry or a letter to a friend about how exciting, rewarding and joyful it feels to have finally found the right person. Describe in detail your feelings, the benefits of having found this person and what this interaction is giving you. Experience the rewards.
5. Alignment (energy)
Focus on the common qualities you share with your ideal teacher. Recognize that in some ways you are one and the same. You have complimentary needs, goals and maybe even abilities. You are already in a state of exchange. Focus on the qualities you wish you had. Ask for them.
6. Pose (physical)
Sit in balasana (child’s pose) or any other pose where you feel safe and supported. Breathe comfortably and release tension in the body. Say to yourself: “I am safe and supported here. In the right moment the right teacher will come.”
7. Meditation/ritual (awareness)
Get comfortable. If you’d like, support yourself by propping a pillow between your lower back and the wall. Fold your hands in your lap or place them on your legs. Close your eyes. Ask yourself: “What do I need to know?”
Get quiet, breathe and enjoy the stillness. At the end of your meditation repeat three times: “I am ready”.
I am ready. I am ready. I am ready.
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