Hello, Friday: we are here.
{a breath for being here when we get here}
Thank you, week!
This is the 378th week in a row we are chickening here together….
What worked this week?
Channeling Vanilla Ice.
If you got a problem, yo I’LL SOLVE IT.
Just that, basically, on repeat in my head. It really did solve all the problems.
Then I turned it into a proxy mission, pretending that I was a cultural historian researching the song!
The monster crew said this would be a huge waste of time, but as is the case with consciously following rabbit holes, it revealed all the most wonderful clues.
And then I went to dance class, and my favorite dance instructor taught an entire class centered around that song. So that was unexpected and wonderful, thank you life for being endlessly funny.
Next time I might…
Rest more
And even more than that.
Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…
Remembering and Forgetting A Thousand Times A Day That Now Is Not Then.
8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Grief is hard. Loss is hard. Goodbye is hard. Absence-of is hard. I guess each of us already knows all of this from being alive and yet, there it is. Endings. A breath for my sweet heart and for breathing my way through with love.
- Oh my aching heart. I still want something I cannot have, and this is not a particularly helpful way to live, and all I can say about that is: baby that’s how it is. At least right now. Apart is what is, missing is what is, longing is what is. This is what it is like to be apart, and it doesn’t actually matter that neither of us want apart. A breath for this.
- My self-destructive tendencies are practically nonexistent compared to where we were fifteen years ago, but that doesn’t mean the seed-kernel-essence of that doesn’t show up when things are rough, because it does. I get MANY, MANY POINTS for not self-medicating with alcohol, making out with strangers, or going into rebel mode and doing any number of phenomenally stupid things. While I managed to avoid letting a hell-bent on self-destruction me take the front of my V, that aspect of me still wanted to be heard, so we went with comfort food in the form of gluten. It was basically this. And I paid for it with 36 hours of ovary/abdominal cramps, and other weird phenomena that I always forget about because they seem so unlikely, like Why Does My Rib Cage Hurt So Much, and something that I can only describe as Solar Plexus Panic. It was a moment of having a moment. Let’s have a breath for easing, for things that are done and things that are not done, and for my body, may I get better at treasuring the home that is a home for me.
- Working on a project in a cafe: got triggered/flustered and ran away, only to realize later that in the flurry of it all I’d left all my notes behind, and then: panic! Luckily I remembered to ask the magic question (“whose panic is this panic”), which resolved everything. A breath for me who forgot that Nothing Is Wrong and thought that Everything Was Wrong. I still have no idea what was in those very important notes, but Nothing Is Wrong, so let’s breathe for that, and also for the perception of loss, and for the me who thinks that Now Is Like Then, and that’s why she’s so stressed out.
- Overwhelmed with projects and plans and what-ifs and in-betweens. A breath for spaciousness, and for remembering truth and choosing truth.
- I had to take a break from shmita to take care of some challenges, and I worked all week, and that was not fun. A breath for rest, and for resting from the resting to get back to the resting, and for trust that all is and will be okay.
- Everyone in my life was telling me to slow down this week, in all situations, from all directions, and I did not want to hear it, even if they were right, which they probably were. If anything, it almost had the opposite effect as I launched straight into YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME mode. Part of the discomfort of course was the realization I have been suggesting this very thing to someone I love, and I am going to stop doing that. Time to let things be the pace they are, and let the allowing bring about the slowing down, if and when the moment for that is right. A breath for easing and releasing.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Full heart of sweetness and thank you for what was, even as I miss it so much. A breath of gratitude for the treasure in this, and the treasure that is memory.
- As for the gluten, I HAVE NO REGRETS: tater tots are delicious. I recognize that last-week-me was making the least harmful choice, choosing the least-harmful version she could find of the pattern she was already in, and consciously interacting with patterns, never an easy thing, and all the more so while we’re already in them, so good for her. And as we know, seeing the pattern is changing the pattern. She was doing the work to the best of her ability in that moment, and I stand by her and her choices. A breath for knowing that nothing is wrong/
- Dancing is healing and joy and presence and all the good things. Waltz brunch was delicious. I took a west coast swing / hip hop fusion workshop. A breath for play and beautiful aliveness.
- The loveliest walk in the rose garden, playing with flowers and listening to trees and happening upon this poem:
sweet fragrance
sunshine daydream
macy’s pride
love and peace
paint the town
(13)It may actually have been a list of names of roses, on a sign in row 13. So not an intentional poem but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. A breath for knowing there will always be signs (yes) and poetry everywhere.
- Six weeks until operation ruby jewel! Ten weeks until the closing of the chocolate shop, because we found a way out of our lease! A breath of thank you for sweet lights at ends of some long-ass tunnels, and for the gifts of anticipation.
- The 2016 fluent self calendar is here! Well, almost. So close! This is the fifth year we’ve made a magical seeding-the-year-with-magic not-even-sure-how-it-works-but-it-does calendar of qualities and superpowers, and each year we scramble to get it done, and this year it just came together so beautifully and with such joy. A breath of wonder and delight.
- A thing that scares me stopped scaring me. A hand-on-heart sigh-breath.
- Thankfulness. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!
Operations completed and forward movement!
Big steps on the Fountaining op, Sweet Honey, Shed Shed Shed, Ruby Jewel and Panther Time. Thank you, fractal flowers.
I now bestow upon myself a quintillion sparklepoints, like a Fairground Stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.
Superpowers I had this week…
Last week I asked for the superpower of choosing towards Delicious Space, and I had that. I also had the power of the right shoes for the job.
Powers I want.
I want the superpower of 120% YES, which is the superpower of warmly and lovingly clearing out all the things from my life that are only partial-yes.
The Salve of Poetry When You Need It
This is a salve of small sweet comforts, moments of knowing that you are not alone, moments of hidden word-magic.
It opens your eyes to signs (both kinds), it opens your senses to beautiful moments.
When you rub it into your skin, there is a lovely softening, and then you feel as though you have both extra clarity and an extra-powerful force field. You have an eye for connections and intersections, for gathering up the right elements.
Moments of grace just are, and you are the wanderer in the garden who pauses to admire them. This is beyond stopping to smell the roses, this is stopping to converse with the roses, and maybe even to play.
This salve is both sweet and sharp, calming and exhilarating.
I’m not sure if it invites miraculous coincidences or just gets you to pause long enough to see and feel them, or possibly both, but who cares. There is a world full of poetry, accidental and otherwise, and you get to choose to enjoy the pieces that speak to your heart.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band:
Good Disclaimers.
Their latest album is She Has Bats In The Bell Tree, and, of course, it’s just one guy.
Quick announcements!
While clearing out the house, I discovered a hidden stash of the gorgeous Stone Skipping cards! $22 for an extremely magical deck of cards plus shipping, or for $30 (plus shipping) we’ll add a cheery red Playground mug, since I found some more of those too! Tell the First Mate if you’re interested.
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
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Hey there, Chicken! It’s still Friday here too.
I *know* that salve! or at least, I know something like it. What a wonderful thing it is. Thank you!
Hard: perceiving more things I wanted to do than time in which to do them. Hello, opportunity to make choices. It’s all right. Thank you, Me who remembers to choose rest.
Good: singing with an orchestra, reaching out to extended family, beautiful blue skies, being cherished, Greek yogurt, anticipating adventures.
I now invoke the superpower of Sensual Stillness. <3
Profound epiphany about Me & My Purpose yesterday. I know where I’m going (at the moment) and Stuff Makes Sense.
That feeling of centeredness helped me stay unattached to outcomes when Spouse came home in a foul mood, didn’t greet me, was unpleasant & morose all evening. As Captain Awkward would say, Not my circus, not my monkeys.
While watching Stomp the Yard yesterday, I… felt myself ‘think like a dancer’, for the first time in, I think, years. It was glorious. Dance, more dance in my life, is part of my Epiphany; I’m looking forward to how it will change things.
{‘Yesterday’ refers to Friday, as it is Saturday here in Maryland.}
Poetry When You Need It, YES.
Today offered me completely unexpected poetry-magic. A bus-acquaintance dictated a poem to me on the bus ride home! Just written by him, completely new, beautiful, exactly like this salve full of hidden word-magic and not-alone-ness. How little I knew about this person through daily acquaintance-ship. The poem said,
“My walk reminds me that I am alive…”
Hello, end-of-Friday! Thank you, week!
What worked? Adding bubble tea to Theraflu. Permission slips galore. Not staying up.
What next? Sleeping/reading/weeding/watching for the next 40 hours.
Hard, disgusting, etc.
* Dental complications
* Doggie diarrhea
* Being out of the loop on deaths and marriages
* The cold has reached the blowing-my-nose-so-often-there’s-chafing stage
* This it’s-probably-OK-but-damn-I-wish-I-hadn’t-forgotten bidness was old the first time around
* Good bread going moldy, even in the fridge
* Feeling silly about printing a coupon I knew I was probably not going to get to use
* So much to write and make; vita brevis…
* Lobbyist bait-and-bait, grrrr!
Good, helpful, soothing, entertaining …
* Wham-boomed a BIIIIIG project an hour ago
* Good impression of new contractor
* I love that Jarkko Nieminen’s fellow players honored him at his retirement ceremony by all dressing in sauna robes and slippers 🙂
* Something that would’ve hurt or worried me like hell even just a few months isn’t getting me down this time.
* The frozen lotus-leaf buns heated up nicely and quickly, and the one that turned into a rock on reheating suited the dog just fine.
* News from a long-absent friend
* The garbage got collected after all.
* So many ideas for a door…
* Past Me stocked the house well before the cold seized me. Thank you, PM.
Clews: Madrid. Russian Mermaid Spa.
Warm wishes to all y’all.
The hard:
– winter sniffles arrive right on time
– next time I’d like to be not so tired when I go on holiday
– my brain got eaten by the internet and other screen monsters
The good:
– holiday! Lots of water and bicycles and pancakes
– and storks! possibly two real ones, but definitely storks in art, all over the place
– staying off work seems logical and the best thing for everyone, and I am not even panicking about what’s falling apart in my absence, because it would have fallen apart by this time anyway
– beautiful bright green fractal romanesco cauliflower in the veg box
– I can play Three Blind Mice and am getting there with Thoughts At Twilight.
Helloooooooo Chicken!
This week:
– Don’t remember if I talked about pig races last chicken. But we went to pig races, and it was amazing and puntastic and cheesy.
– Despite expectations, I had the *energy* to go to pig races. It was mostly standing and I didn’t get dizzy at all.
– So many things are converging to help me heal my first chakra. It’s actually happening.
– Week was long (okay, but only 4 days) and stressful.
– Not liking who I am around people and wishing I could just hermit again so that I don’t have to be this version of me. Though I think it’s good for me.
– I somehow managed to put off emailing potential people to interview until yesterday, and while I get one million trillion points for doing it at all, I now have two weeks to get people to agree to be interviewed, to interview them, and to analyze those interviews.
– Also having difficulties with what my literature review should cover, and have gotten more, not less, fuzzy on my research question.
– I got to go on the most miraculous journey in a meditation last weekend. Three very important things happened: 1. I got to see and feel beyond my current stuck/situation, which helps in remembering a better version of me, 2. I no longer feel alone, and 3. I saw a very weird and deep pattern of self-sabotage and can now get ready to work on it. Overall, ’twas very nice.
– Realized I can apply to [thing I want to do] for next year instead of the year after if I sign up for one year instead of three, and that there are huge advantages to this. So I’m going for it! Can’t say I expect to get in, but I’m throwing my hat in the ring anyway.
– Got very tangled in my stuff and with another person who was also very tangled in their stuff. Not the most fun.
– Made an executive decision not to study at all for my midterm and was rewarded by doing quite well on it, I believe. Yay for time saved!
What worked: allowing more time & space for recovery from the huge project that depleted me and not feeling guilty for not working.
The hard:
– Flipped out when my partner referred to what we do at [the workshop] (product development and marketing) as manipulating people into buying stuff. It’s totally my stuff, but I then tried to lovingly explain that his “joke” is not funny and it hurts me when he’s making fun of my business.
– Ok, I felt a bit guilty for not doing client work.
– Confusion and hazy feeling all over. I don’t know what’s my next thing yet. So many possibilities, yet none of them are really calling me at the moment. In times like these I throw myself into a worry loop.
– Re: first point, I still don’t know how to talk to my partner about my business because he has a job and doesn’t get all these online things.
– I want to teak a break from anything to do with the project that just ended, and I don’t know how to do that because I’m the leader and people rely on me to keep them moving.
– I thought I’d be drawing more now that the project is over, but I’m not. I carry sketchbooks with me all the time, and never open them.
The good:
– Got back into writing, and it was great. I woke up yesterday with an idea I wanted to express, and I sat down by my computer immediately (something I don’t like to do) and wrote for 3 hours, and it was the best thing I wrote in a while.
– The workshop was wonderful. I felt like I’m exactly in the right place, surrounded by the right people. I felt this is the gentle nudge I needed to get back into big dreaming mode. Looking forward to more sessions.
– I acknowledged where I am in the process of not doing art, and it made things easier.
– Yay for beautiful weather and walks. Today the nature park, and the other day a walk around the block. The latter was a mindful walk that revealed a fear that I’ve been carrying since childhood and I’ve worked with it and healed it. Before that walk I had no idea it was there, and how it was connected to [art thing].
– I discovered listening to music again and it was a huge clue to [art thing] (I keep refusing to call it art block, I might need a different metaphor). It got me thinking about conditions and how to experiment with them and how music was constantly in the background of my life before, and now it’s podcasts and courses and silence. I literally weeped at the sound of beautiful music.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
<3 <3 <3 and ugh so hard when people we love who live in [The Supposed Real World] don't have context for this other way of doing things, and say hurtful things, that is a very real phenomenon and it is not fun <3
<3 Thank you, sweet Havi <3
I honestly haven't even thought this would be such a problem to explain to people who regularly *buy* stuff on the internet and aren't, you know, technophobes.
I am open to finding a comfortable, playful and loving way to explain the reality of the world I live in to those I care about 🙂
all this week if been agonizing about some decisions and my horrible indecision.
than, i remebered: when it’s not a YES, it’s a no. this made my whole week indefinitely better. ***** like five stars better.
Sunday Chicken:
The Hard:
Blisters. Despite precautions. They are fine as long as I don’t have shoes on. Which are necessary. Ow.
A trail I thought would never end. And the hardest part coming when my legs were so tired and then had to navigate down rock faces with ice and lots of places to plummet.
No word from the job that seemed so enthusiastic before. A breath for knowing that all timing is right timing.
The Good:
Survived a bunk room with 5 other people. Which was probably the size of a room on the Mayflower. Sleep mask + headphones + white noise + [sleeping pill] = heavenly sleep for cheap money. Sparklepoints for new experiences and a nice lady to have meals with and horizons being expanded with new found skill.
Glorious day on the mountains. 9 miles. 6000 feet in the air. Blue skies for days.
A ride back to my car from a stranger. 2.5 miles of asphalt ahead of me after my hike. And then the brake lights and back up lights of someone stopping to give me a ride. When Jesus comes for me, that is how he’ll arrive. At the end of a long journey when I don’t think I can go any further but I have no choice, he’ll stop, back up and take me home. And I will probably cry with joy again.
My own bed.
Um, hi, hello! First comment on this blog, I like reading blogs 🙂 Interested in intentionally creating and then reflecting on my week. I have absorbed so much inspiring info on the internet over the years, but it’s getting to the point where I need to find my own authority, integrate, start sharing my own voice and creativity in the world. I’m at this point where I’m feeling “Enough! Enough doing so much listening to what everyone else is doing,enough learning, it’s time to be my own teacher, it’s time for me to speak. Want to start doing less lurking, more active participating!
What worked this week:
Body love-Getting outside and body movement again. I really need it and it makes me feel soo much better.
Next time I might:Needing to go to my day job melts away all the good practices, because I run out of time and energy. I need to set up ahead for these busy times, so that the container for my good self-care practices is ready for me to step into for the amount of time I have.
Breaths of gratitude
*Moved my body again, feeling all that stagnant energy clear out.
*Finally, time with close friends to celebrate my upcoming bday. A breath for reconnecting with loved ones and stepping out of my cocoon.
*Putting on my fairy necklace to feel good about my appearance, a good energetic shift from just throwing on the usual clothes and feeling kinda meh. A breath for compassionate adornment to remember my beauty.
*Green smoothies, sardines, etc. Eating fruits rather than baked goods. A breath for abundant healthy food which makes me feel very cared for. For listening and feeding my body love.
*A breath for shining bright with the children at work even though there was so much I wanted to do outside of work and feeling meh in my appearance, just imperfect, in the past I would be all pissy about things not being perfect, but now I was radiating acceptance, peace, and even joy, and it shows me that I’m bigger than looking polished and put together and doing everything like I “should”.
For the challenge
*Frustration at falling off my meditation practice and intentions for exercise everyday. Monsters telling me I never stick to my commitments. A breath for gentleness and kind awareness, things are progressing just by paying attention and swaying away from inner critic patterns.
*Vocalizing self-loathing after a social event pattern. A breath for the power of noticing it was in the drivers seat, but that I’m slowly healing this, and my friends still love me anyway and it’s time for me to love my self anyway during these times. To experiment with small shifts.
*Idolizing and comparing to an old friend who I felt abandoned me and who is doing all the things I have wanted to do, but not managed to do. Her, with lots of friends while I slowly grieved the loss of feeling like she was my best friend. Ambivalence, feeling hurt again when she doesn’t reply to me. And dealing in my cocoon in the past isolation with only a close few friends to turn to. That mixture of so wanting to be her friend again and feeling jealous. A breath for honoring her beauty, knowing that I am attracted to what she’s creating and that it serves what I value, so that is good. A breath for forgiveness and knowing that my shine is equal to her shine. Another breath for knowing that all of this I’ve just written is an illusion to melt, stuff of the past, almost entirely clear and that I am opening the space to be of service in the world and connect to other kindred spirits, a knowing that I don’t need to idolize anyone anymore.
<3 A breath from my heart.
Welcome, Molli!
Yes to active participating, practicing, integrating, speaking 🙂
Thank you, Nela!
Noticing how chickening here is an act of courage and liking how this is the opposite to the usual use of ‘chickening’ as a verb. Chicken medals of bravery to everyone who dares to stop and take stock (pun!) here and on their own. The game is rigged such that it’s easier to just keep running forwards, padding the spare time with tv/video-games/wine/other so we don’t notice how rigged the game is and how tangled up we are (I RECKON). Anyway, people who are thoughtful and reflective (even if they’re netflixing w wine soon after) are hereby reminded by the power vested in my vest that this is counter cultural and subversive and good on you/me/us! To thoughtfulness and reflection!
So! This week there was some hard stuff….
* very low energy, plus boogers in the three year old.
* very difficult conversation with someone I love
* boundary reset with the former, not surprising just tedious
* internet hangovers like whoa
* a cracker of a headache today
And the week contained some joyful….
* despite low energy I stayed positive, calm, inwardly kind much more than has been my normal in the past
* I got the paints out and let the kids use them, and they helped cook spaghetti sauce one night. I struggle to find these activities easy or fun however we did them and my patience held out quite well. Ticker tape parades for me!
* a whole WEEK using a guided meditation/hypno/relaxation app. Longer than three days! Another parade!
* the chaos (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome) is decreasing steadily , slowly.
* epiphanies about problematic phrase, and a helpful attitude to adopt to transform difficult but necessary activity
* Little Lad has been on meds for about six or seven months and has also made great strides in his confidence to use words and capacity to do so under stress. Fabulous! Relief! And I think they are associated.
* Wunderkind is uber wunder. So it all balances out on the cosmic universal level I guess.
* beans beans beans thank you beans
Chicken is eating chocolate chips and flailing around in a sea of yarn!
Arriving here, when I get here, which is now. Here I am now.
I went to Butterflyland, and then I came back. Most of my body wishes I were still there, except for my left hip, who is trying very hard to tell me something but we haven’t managed to find the common language yet. All I can tell is that this one part of my body got on a different train, and then got on a different boat, and as far as I can tell, that’s still the boat ze’s on. Hello, hip. I hope your voyage goes smoothly and perhaps you’d like to send me a postcard.
But most of my body was Home when we were in Butterflyland, and even though some parts of my body are more tolerant of a home that isn’t there but has other useful home-qualities like the one we’re in right now at Fort Riverside, for the most part…I think we wish we were with the butterflies.
So I am gathering intel from this expedition, while also trying to row my boat back there and sing sweet lullabies to the monsters who say I can’t and I shouldn’t and I won’t and I mustn’t, and also trying to Be Here Now while the floor here keeps funhouse-shaking, and also trying to go to Ciudad Applejack because Owlmind says that’s a good idea and also because I WANT TO, Owl or no Owl, and also I want to go to Hatland which is an entirely Because I Want To thing. And meanwhile I’m setting fires and breathing crisp fall air and wishing on comets (oh, what beautiful wishes!)
So here we go. Breathing the soul-breaths.
Breathing for shadows, for mysteries, for enigmas, for tangles.
+Breathing for Goldenwhig and the Mystery of the Tri-C Tournament/Tourniquet. Breathing for this being true and real and authentic. Breathing for the me who realizes ze has the Superpower of I’ve Already Won. I’ve already won! Breathing for the sadness, which is also real, and the anger, which is almost as real as the sadness.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Duck Missiles. I do not know why you are hurling ducks at me but I promise it will not go well for you, me, or the goddamn ducks.
+Breathing for the Ghost of Agent Saxophone. Breathing for the Holograph Me who is disguising zirself as this Ghost. Breathing forgiveness. Breathing compassion. Breathing friendship. Breathing peace.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Mane Event. Breathing an invitation for Perfectly Simple Solution(s). Breathing gratitude for them when they arrive.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Agent Nachos. Breathing into the question mark. Breathing acceptance. Breathing boundaries.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Missing Dragonscroll. Breathing into all the places it could be but isn’t. Breathing into the finding it. Breathing to invoke the Superpower of I Find the Things I Need. Breathing to invoke the Superpower of Stuff is Just Stuff.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Mad Scientist. Breathing for the monsters that keep showing him to me. Breathing for the complex blend of emotions I feel about That Whole Thing. Breathing for the Me Who Gets Free.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Banana Rampage. Breathing for the me who loved it. Breathing for the me who didn’t turn it off. Breathing for the body that holds it all.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Stupid Fucking Gender Binary. Nothing else really needs to be said about that does it. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
+Breathing for the Mystery of [Oooooklahoma], also fucking fuckiitty fuck fuckle fuck fuck. Breathing for the Me for whom is this The Truth as well as for the Me for whom it is Not True At All.
Breathing. Breathing. Breathing. Yes.
Breathing for the donuts, the sweetness, the delights!
+Breathing for the simple treats of this moment, for watching pun competitions on YouTube, for the feeling of yarn between my fingers, for tasting what I’m cooking in the middle of cooking it, for listening to nothing but X Ambassadors for 3 days in a row.
+Breathing for the Voyage to Butterflyland, for the trees and the trains and the clues everywhere, for the sweetness of friends, for the Re-Membering. Breathing for the dream that led me there and the dream that’s leading me back (also there).
+Breathing for the resonant connections featuring {color codes} and {library books} and {extra garlic} and {all sorts of other stuff}. Yes, Breathing, yes.
+Breathing for chili. FUCK YEAH, CHILI. You know who’s really good at making chili? ME. I AM. I AM REALLY GOOD AT MAKING CHILI. This is not a proxy (it could totally be a proxy). C H I L I. FUCK YEAH.
+Breathing for reading a book and being like WOW, Agent Mermaid would LOVE this book, I better email her and tell her about it as soon as I’m done reading it, and then right before I finished reading it, discovering that she just did a podcast ABOUT THIS VERY BOOK. !!!!!!
+Breathing for Operation L’Elevator. Breathing love and hearts and magic. Yes. Yes. Yes.
+Breathing for [new orgasms, holy fuckkkkkkk]. YES YES FUCK YES.
+Breathing, cautiously, for Pegasus Blue, which seems to be going Really Well So Far. Yes. Breathing. Oh, yes.
Bathing myself in a hot tub infused with my special blend of Feelings First, Senses On, I Feel Rested, and I Totally Got This. Yes. Mmmm. Yum.
And this week’s fake band is: The Nefarious Porpoises! Warming up the stage for them will be The Forthright Walruses. It’s gonna be an exciting show! Put your hands/flippers/fins together!
I love you.
And even on days when my monsters are convinced that I have done Nothing Of Meaning in my life, I can point to the fact that I made a chicken space where YOU could come with this glorious chicken, and therefore by facilitating this in a small way, I have done enough in my life, amen.
also one day I would like to read a novel or possibly an illustrated children’s book about duck missiles
HAHAHAHA that was my favorite thing in this chicken, the duck missiles 😀
I love you too, and I thank you for sending me this at exactly this moment when it was exactly what I needed to interrupt a momentary vortex of [whine]. <3
A Momentary Vortex of Whine, it’s just one guy!