Ah, it’s that time again.
Of transitions and entry and going through the doors.
What has happened since we said goodbye to October and then hello to November?
I’m not sure. Probably lots of things!
Let’s find out. How about this time we do it Friday-Chicken style (the hard and the good of November)? And then we can plant some gwishes for December.
Also I am going to be five years old today.
November, these parts were hard for me this year!
- Traveling is hard on my body.
- I don’t recover as fast as I used to.
- Kansas ********** City. Seriously, what rock were they hiding under all season?
- It turns out that Denver and I do not get along as much as I’d hoped, because I like oxygen so much, and not having it in what are harmonious quantities for me was both challenging and distressing.
- Cardio withdrawal because of the above, which resulted in severe grumpiness.
- I want a holiday so badly I can taste it. A proper holiday, with no work at all.
- Too many things happening!
- Building next door and downstairs neighbors to the Playground being problematic.
- Having to tell people things they don’t want to hear.
- Anxiety about having conversations in which I tell people things they don’t want to hear. A lot of having to remember that now is not then.
- People I love were in freakout mode, and it was painful to watch.
- I am doing things that scare me!
November, these were my favorite parts about you!
- Wearing my new coat, and being warm and cozy.
- Ohmygod, Rally (Rally!). Rally was amazing.
Next one is in January — it’s pretty close to full! - And not just any Rally but the Great Ducking Out.
- Speaking of which, I had twenty-seven billion epiphanies, and now everything is better.
- I also taught that workshop in Boulder, and it was beautiful. Hi, guys!
- Being at roller derby Championships was a very special and much dreamed-of thing. Plus I got to hang out with Juno and Donow.
- The Hoppy House pickles that the gentleman made from the cucumbers in the garden. Ecstatic exclamations of pickle joy!
- Also the gentleman has a beard now, and somehow this has not triggered trauma stuff for me.
- Rituals and proxies. I listened to Werner every night. I hung out with J each morning. There were daily secretive reflectings (with scissors!), and daily mini marathon trainings (with eye pillows!). We played in secret agent code, and it was awesome.
- My #1 partner-in-crime and I have been up to deliriously outrageous things, and we spent hours on the phone giggling like teenage girlfriends.
- You guys! Shivanauticon! It is happening. We even found the Flairground.
- I got a REALLY good piece of news that I am happy about.
November, here is what I want to say to you.
Thank you for being a home for the things I needed to do.
Thank you for structures and forms that were comforting.
Thank you for reminding me about what doesn’t work.
Thank you for letting me play with you instead of my usual way of fighting you or trying to make you be something else.
And for showing me what needs to go into the Almanac (yes, the Book of Me) for next year. I will see you in twelve months!
But I will be a newer version of me, and you will be a newer version of you, and we will have a new relationship. And it will be beautiful.
December, I am looking forward to these things about you!
- I am teaching TWO workshops for the roller derby team that I sponsor.
- And other than that, I am — gasp! — not teaching anything. At all. Crazy, yes? I know!
- Cairene is coming to the Playground to do a cool project with me that involves helping me plan my year. All I know is that it involves glue sticks. Yay!
- My partner-in-crime is coming to visit and she is staying at Hoppy House and we are going on adventures.
- Hannukah. Candles and yum.
- Cutting up all the catalogs and using them for fun Playground projects.
- Brunching fun things for 2012.
- Dreaming up cool things for Shivanauticon!
- Hot baths. Flannel sheets. Warm soup. Potato kugel!
- Endings. More doors. Conscious exit.
- Saying hello to all the new things that are coming.
December, this is what I want to experience with you.
- Trust.
- Warmth.
- Sustainability.
- Grilled cheese!
- Absconding.
- Immersing.
- Holding Enthusiastics.
- Doing something with the Daily Chicken (it doesn’t exist yet) and also giving it a new name.
- Reflecting.
- Receiving.
- Knowing what I know and wanting what I want.
- Orange. Lots and lots of orange.
- Secret treasures and marvelous surprises.
Planting December’s gwishes.
A gwish is somewhere between a goal and a wish, and I have so many of them, but — just like last month — I am going to whisper-plant them in my journal instead of putting them here.
If you would like to whisper with me or whisper loving wishes for my dreams, that would be good.
Come play with me! Comments in the giant collective blanket fort.
I’m putting this all into the pot with love.
If you would like to throw things into the pot and/or think about your relationship with this past November or this arriving-December, go for it. You can do it here in the comments or silently in your heart. Or wherever and however you like, obviously.
We all have our stuff. We let other people have what’s theirs and take responsibility for what’s ours. And we do this through not giving other people advice or telling them how what to do or how to feel.
Extra wishes for a safe, healthy, delight-filled December with lots of the good kind of surprises.
Follow
Orange, yay! I could not figure out why I fell in love with orange on Rally! (Rally!) until you mentioned the second chakra – then I looked it up and immediately said, AHA! I definitely need more orange in my life! 🙂
And December will be the month of congruence for me! After Rally! (Rally!), I have started to notice all the things that are incongruous with what I want in my life, and I am excited to get rid of what needs to go, embrace what needs to stay, and welcome in what has been missing! And one of the things that has clearly been missing in my life is bubbles! Bubbles! 🙂 And a chalkboard! Must find a chalkboard! Also, one thing I already have that I had forgotten about is a monkey – wearing clothes! Chicago Bulls clothes, in fact! 🙂
*** Goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyye November!!***
** What was hard **
* shoes
– some very confusing shoes got thrown. some anger was happening around me and it was hard to let it fly by.
* boundary issues
– while i was working it is still all not finished as quickly as necessary – dealing with old miscommunications and setting up boundaries.
– stressfulness with students and not really having more ideas for them.
** What I loved about you **
* visitor
my friend was visiting! and it all went well.
* work work work
– all my data work was moving forward. slowly but it was moving.
– less working in the office environment = so much more happiness
– getting so much better at boundaries in the office environment.
*** Hellooooooooooooooo December ***
** What I look forward to **
– christmas, being inside, shopping, sleeping, movies, time time time.
– cooking up secret missions for the job-finding mission.
– moving back into seeing possibilities
– preparing for travel
– writing long letters to friends
– seeing old friends.
** What qualities/superpowers I would like to invoke **
– boundaries to work within. also boundaries to the work.
– discovery
– photography practice superpowers
– presentation superpowers – making sure what was done is clear
– finishing superpowers – making it look pretty.decorating. editing. polishing.
** The extra special wish **
To do all of this from a place of calm. To enjoy the little steps. to see this as a playground of options. to find the strength and stand on that strength and create an optimal experience.
**** Blowing Fairy Dust ***
Goodbye November.
* You sped by but I was present for more than usual
* The finishing of the Culminating Project actually happened!
* Practice clients and one real client -Yippee
* Lot’s of time for inner technologies practice of several kinds. Rediscovering (yet again) how much I love to dance
* First Thanksgiving without dad or nuclear family gathering a bit sad, but loving surrogate family was fun
* Monies came just in time to help out
* It was hard to separate from daughter’s troubles
* The cold, the rains, the snow, no electricity or water for 7 days
Hello December. I’m looking forward to:
* Latkes – I make the best ones -even my foodie daughter says so:)
* Trip to Austin – tomorrow – it’s finally scheduled and happening
* Warmth, cozy bathrobe and fireplace
* Doing some things that are scary for me
And a big wish – someone to fall in love with our house and buy it. It will love you back – I promise!
November hard:
–Anxiety over the future. I don’t want to give it any more energy/bandwidth than that.
–A smattering of sickness.
November good:
–Successful feastiality with family and friends.
–Getting to sing in glorious concerts.
–A HYOOOOOGE positive step forward in service of myself, and the trembly, hopeful feeling that this is going to change everything.
December dreams:
–Peace.
–Power (of the very best kind).
–Yuletide miracles.
Things that were hard about November:
*Post-event interpersonal hardness. It happens at this time every year. It does not get easier!
*I had the cold of doom and had to stay home for a whole weekend and have a fever.
*Aaaaaah, craziness at work!
*New workouts = SO TIRED
*So many people at holiday things!
*Having surprising worries about going to Bolivia!
Things that were great:
*new workouts! Love feeling strong.
*I cooked a zillion of things for Thanksgiving and they were all veryvery good
*Also, I love feeding people
*Saw some of my favorite small people!
*At at new favorite vegan diner. Twice!
*Accidentally spent two whole weekends at home. Love being home.
*Bonus unexpected visit from far-away friend
*Daylight lamp on my desk at work -> rain makes me half as cranky!
*Grownup footie pajamas! (I know.)
November-o-grams:
Thanks for reminding me just how great my family is.
Thank you for having some beautiful weather in you! I was not expecting that, but it is a fabulous bonus.
Thank you for the reminder that I need downtime.
Thank you for being less surprising than last year.
December excitements!
A friend is having a baby! Yay baby!
I am going on a trip to a new place to visit someone I adore.
Also, I am getting cowboy boots.
Annual cookie-fest is in December! Fun with Leah!
And I get to feed manymany people at our giant Yule feast
Here is what I would like to experience in December:
Grace
Clear communication
Sweetness
Trust
Warm toes
Rest
Highlights from my Goodbye November & Hello December:
Goodbye November
What I’ve loved about November:
-all the permission slips
-napping
-playing with going slow
-nesting and cooking – lots of yummy homemade foods, real meals eaten at the table
-cleaning up and embracing of the homey just because I wanted to and felt like, it, not because of shoulds and guilt
-hot chocolate in the morning
-so much Echo cuddle time
-herbal tea
-air that is brisk
What was hard about November?
-the feeling that VERY IMPORTANT THINGS were being neglected when I gave myself permission slips
-my perfectionist monsters’ gigantic list of things that are not perfect
November, I am appreciating the coziness of you. I am grateful for what I learned and experienced this month. Thank you for all of it.
See you next year!
Hello December!
What I love about December:
-My birthday! The annual holiday where the world celebrates the birth of me!!!
-Christmas – lights, music, schmaltzy movies, Bing Crosby! Also foods!!!
What I love about this December:
-Holy crap, I’m going to New York this weekend to see Hugh Jackman on Broadway, and the lights in Rockefeller Center, and eat dinner at Sardi’s, and everything else I can fit into approx. 24 hours in the city. There is not enough squee in the world to cover how I feel about this.
-Twelve Days of Christmas. No random birds, no leaping lords or whatever, just 12 consecutive days off. With no travel plans. Now, I adore travel plans – they are pretty much my favorite thing – but the idea of 12 whole days off at home just feels so…spacious. 🙂
-My brother is coming!!! My baby brother who lives far away is visiting for 5 days over New Year’s. Much fun will be had.
What might be hard in December:
-Lots of busy. That twelve days off at the end sounds great, but leading up to that…lots of busy.
-It is the first anniversary of my father-in-law’s death. So challenging to watch a dearly beloved be in some serious hard. Even harder because he will be travelling so he can be with his family – but that will make it more challenging to be there for him.
-Money. All my monsters around enough-ness seem to find their loudest voices when they talk about money, and this time of year they start holding concerts. They cannot carry a tune, but they have excellent volume.
Gwishing for December:
-Frolicking.
-A balance between giddy excitement and calm grounding, with the best of both.
-Perfect Simple Solutions.
-Deep, deep restfulness.
-Glowing – deep, warm, hearthfirey glowing
Happy December everyone!
Farewell, November.
November, you were full of rain and I remembered to wear the right shoes. You were full of rain and I kept using my umbrella that has a hilarious mind of its own. You were full of several failed recipes that were excellent research for future culinary directions. You were full of Mysterious Stomach Messages that ended in a farewell to dairy (for now). November did not really want me to go to ballet class and found a variety of illnesses to create the scenario in which I had to think about what it meant not to go to ballet class.
November, you were full of clothing clarity. You contained some surprising thrift store luck. You contained one expected date night and one entirely surprising date night. You had some unlikely solutions to some of the persistent fear and dread I had about Thanksgiving. You were amazingly delicious. You had a beautiful cellar full of my favorite root vegetables waiting to be roasted and turned into delicious things. On the very, very last day of November, I was granted a very important epiphany about the pattern I would like to ask Shiva Nata about. Thank you. I am so grateful for all of it, even the hard parts, and especially the delicious and lovely parts.
What I know about December:
The finishing of the year
The finishing of some projects
The frying of latkes!!!!!
Unlikely lights in all corners
Travel to Texas
Presents for others
Presents for my self
Warmth from within (cocoa and toddies!)
The time away
Being with people I love
What else I want for December:
Simple solutions
Travel luck
Letting go of unnecessary gifts
Being with the hard
Good boundaries
Being in the sunshine when it appears
Writing about the epiphany
Remembering allies
Remembering alone time
Candles
I am going to do everything I can to create signposts and lists to reduce the pattern of “oh crap this thing is due” that is a Statistically Likely December Thing That Jesse Experiences. I am also going to continue being my Ace Travel Planner self, to make our travel times go as smoothly and as awesomely as possible.
Luck and love (and rabbit rabbit!) to all! xo
Oh November! You was so crazy.
The good:
+ Rally! Rally! Rally!
+ Portland! Sigh.
+ Havi hugs! Extra-sparkly in person!
+ The epiphanies! There were MANY. speaking of which,
+ Shiva Nata! I finally figured out how to do it in a way that works for me. (by “works for me”, I mean, makes me feel buzzy and broken-brained in the most delicious way)
The hard:
+ School.
+ A lot of different kinds of unexpected hard stuff re-emerging at Rally and not really knowing what to do with it. A lot of it still being with me. Processing is necessary and ultimately good-for-me, but hard.
+ Coming back to reality from Rally. Hard hard hard. Giving myself extra hugs.
+ The responsibility and weight of “whoa, this, now?” that comes out of having crazy epiphanies.
+ Neurotransmitters firing in all the familiar, painful paths. Though, luckily, I know what to do about this now! (Shiva Nata!)
Time heals things. More like, time enables spaciousness and epiphanies, which enable healing and growth.
Hellooooo December! You are going to be amazing. I can tell already. Why? Becuase I’ll be…
+ graduating! omg omg omg twenty eight million sparklepoints for meee!
+ officially saying goodbye to 2011 which, without exaggeration, could be called “The Year of Simone’s Second Birth”
+ Frolicking in the city under Christmas lights and baking outrageous things with my family!
May this month be miraculous for everyone here…
November hard:
Not taking care of myself as well as I had been previously.
November good:
Thanksgiving break! Getting to visit friends and family in Portland and Washington. Getting back into the good ol’ Pacific Northwest. Time for reflection and contemplation and prioritizing.
November, thank you so much for my trip back home and all that went with it!
December, I am looking forward to:
Having my family over for Christmas, including making them lots of tasty vegetarian food and getting a Christmas tree.
Break time to get stuff done, like clean the house and submit writing, and rearrange some of both my internal and physical space.
December, what I want from you:
Spaciousness
Warmth
Productivity tempered with ease and trust
Happy December to everyone!
Goodbye November! the hards were pretty hard:
-the whole thing started with an un-restful Samhain
-the Brutal Schedule was brutal and by then the tweaks were all in and any shortfall, I was supplying myself
-daylight savings, you suck.
-my gentleman getting sick and sicker
-anxiety with a dear friend
but the goods were so sweet!
-Havi in Boulder!
-making a deeper commitment to Flailing, immediate benefits
-playign with more Fluent Slef toys–like Proxies and Fractal Flowers and then of course
-omg the Bing! as i falla sleep, as i wake up, making snadiwches for the girls: bing! bing! bing!
-teaching my girls Level One arms with the Beatles! She! Loves! You! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
-the giggle fest that ensued
-the color orange: the pumkins, my yummy Best Sweater, the sun comign up and going down
-the solution to the Brutal Schedule started this week
-omg did i mention the Bing! and this past week, wow!
December, you have come with snow and ice. And now I ate a muffin and I regret eating the muffin. So I’ll make my gwishes later.
I saw the most amazing shooting star last night and I’m happy to share it with all the December wishes. WHOOOOOSH!
Good-bye November! You were great!
Some things were hard: being depressed and in pain. But some of the pain got better and when I recognized the depression for what it was, that got better too.
Many things were good, including: time with some of my favorite people, doing art things with my nephew, intense work on the Book of Me and on my Stuff, and many many more.
Hello December!
What other people have written is so inspiring! I am looking forward this month to:
more inspiration
more activity
more time with favorite people
revues
sparkliness
peacefulness
cozy warmth
beginning to hibernate
candles and quiet music
lovingly making and giving gifts for loved ones
much kindness
hot chocolate
homemade soup
decorating the house
getting my hair cut and donating it to Locks of Love
much love and happiness
December, these things are what I look forward to; these are my gwishes. My commitment is to be open to them, and to set things up for them.
*getting up to start making soup now*
*sending love to all!*
Oh goodness, I am so delighted and arms-open-wide-thrilled to be welcoming December! Love is coming to be present in my life instead of something I know from afar.
Goodbye, November – you were the most painful and challenging November since I hit 10 yrs old, yet you brought me SO much. So many resolutions, realizations, gifts…
I think that’s all for me for now.
loads of love to all. Looking fwd to January, too.
Hard of November:
Being damp
Uncomfortable train sleeping
Missing time with partner in order to get me-time
Fear of looking at the 2011 goals I’m behind on
Good:
Year-end motivation/stress has encouraged me to be good to myself in two very different ways: observe myself with compassionate curiosity and forget myself through spurts of busy efficiency.
Food! Turns out that a vegan Thanksgiving is the best.
Enjoying community and commenting!
Gaining superpowers! gradual yet sudden
Being hopeful about the lasting outcomes of Rally (Rally!), although cynical me is still most comfortable in the front of the V (that sounds dirty without an explanatory link 🙂 )
Crafty words, costumes, sparkles
Most supportive hammock ever
“How to disagree without being disagreeable”–I’ve been supremely disagreeable with myself, but I have tools now.
Outdoor time
Saying “I want”
December, I want us to have these qualities (qualities!):
Playfulness
Lightness
Preparedness (hmm, that word needs to be jazzed up)
Calm in the eye of the storm; candle in a windless place
Integrity
Connection
Gwishes:
Feeling that my work is sufficient, or at least knowing concretely what I want for next year (learning, clarity, usefulness)
Meaningful feedback (why is that scary? sounds like static.)
Satisfying family time–appreciating my nature and nurture and the people who made it happen
(I did all my goodbyes for November mashed up together, since I’m saying goodbye to all this stuff whether it was hard or good or both.)
Goodbye, November!
Goodbye, stressing about health insurance! Thanks for that being all over and dealt with for now.
Goodbye, frustrating situation with client that dragged out for far too long! Thank you for the learning experience (groan!), and thank you for an ultimately peaceful resolution to that situation.
Goodbye, date with [Super Bird]! I am still not sure if you were actually a date, but I’m glad I found a new friend [—]!
Goodbye, [Super Hero Biz Class]! I miss you already! Thanks for the important information, and for the cool people I met from taking you.
Goodbye, Sing-Off! Thanks for being AWESOME. Thanks for helping me figure out how much I need to be making music. Thanks for being a thing that I could bond with both my parents over. Thanks for all the great music!
Goodbye, loneliness and isolation! Thanks for the solitude and for the opportunity to see that I actually really want to be intentional about sharing time with friends.
Goodbye, scissors! I am done looking for you. If you want to come back, great. You will be welcome on my shelf next to my new pair of scissors.
Goodbye, wallowing about my not yet being [on The Bus]! Thank you for helping me see how much I really really want to [get on The Bus].
Goodbye, worrying about [Mutha Trucka]! Okay, maybe not quite goodbye since I’m totally going to keep doing it, but, thank you for reminding me to reach out to [them] continually because I know [they] needed it even if [they] didn’t always respond.
Goodbye, bemoaning the loss of a friend that I didn’t actually lose! Thank you for reminding me that sometimes Facebook is stupid and unfriends people by accident, and that it is worth checking before assuming they are mad at me for no reason!
Goodbye, visit with my mom that went really well! Thank you for that going really well!
Goodbye, stressing about projects I “should” be working on! Thank you for popping up from time to time to remind me of good ideas I’ve had even if I haven’t worked on them.
Goodbye, Thanksgiving, and all the anticipation leading up to it! You were so awesome! I want to have many may more of you! Thank you thank you thank you! Goodbye, delicious food that I made for Thanksgiving…because I ate you!
Goodbye, awesome rehearsals with my awesome singing group! Thank you for making my life have meaning, and for all the great people I get to sing with. I’m glad I get at least one more of you before GOODBYE goodbye.
Goodbye, computer virus! Thanks for being relatively easy to kill.
Things I’m Keeping From November:
+The power of wishfulness
+The power of Hiding
+Flow Flow Flow!
+My crush on [Secret 2D], for better or for worse
+Breaks! which may need a new name.
+writing the [Open Lips] piece
+remembering that I have friends who love me
+making music
November, thank you for being probably the best November I’ve ever met. Thank you for the lovely people who came to visit me. Thank you for my 9th Veganniversary. Thank you for staying warm most of the time and for not snowing. I hope for many more Novembers just like you.
Hello, December!
Hello, festivals of light! I look forward to celebrating a few of you. I hope we will get to have a party at my place to celebrate Hanukkah.
Hello, recording with my a cappella group! I am a little bit nervous about some of the logistics of you, but mostly I am excited.
Hello, another visit with my mom! I hope that goes well.
Hello, practicing the guitar every day! I am really excited about you!
Hello, Tarot readings! I have several lined up already and I hope there will be more!
Hello, Shiva Nata! I will practice you too. You make practicing the guitar even more awesome!
My word for December: CELEBRATION.
Here is who I’m inviting to December:
+Warm things! Tea, cocoa, snuggly blankets, soup.
+Snuggling!
+A Hanukkah party at my place, with food and guests and dreidel and menorah-lighting and singing!
+New songs to write! (and the associated fractal flowers)
+More paying Tarot and/or Reiki clients!
+Knitting & crocheting!
+Clarity about my [Soup Can]!
+Road Map [for The Bus]
+Good Habits for new beginnings
+Rainbows (always!)
Goodbye, November!
Thank you for the unexpected days of mild and sunny weather. Thank you for the stunning displays of red, goldenrod, and orange leaves. Thank you for being easier than I expected!
Hello, December!
December, we are going to get along fine, no matter how cold and snowy and dark you get. Why? Because this December is going to be the “December of exquisite self-care”! The whole month, no matter what curve balls it throws at me, will be imbued with a purpose: I will strive throughout December to be more kind to myself than I’ve ever been before.
Physical care. Mental care. Emotional care. I can do this!