A breath for these tough times

Sending out extra wishes of Safety & Sanctuary for everyone in the path of the hard things, what a scary time we are in, inhaling and exhaling, for compassion, strength, courage, swift and steady miracles.

Announcement / last chance for Emergency Calming Down Techniques

I’ve been reeling hard lately in some cursed combination of heartache, numbness, political anxiety, winter stuff and some wild panic episodes.

Have been holding on (for dear life) to my Emergency Calm The Hell Down Techniques from a long time ago, and it’s been helping.

I am giving away a copy of these (ebook + audio recordings) to anyone who gives any sum of money to the appreciation funds / discretionary fund in the hopes that we can all keep practicing together, for each other and for the collective, and also for ourselves in these scary times. ❤️

The glorious return of the metaphor technique

A little background

Last week when we were talking about bravery in the form talking to the void or tuning inward to talk to the heart, someone left the following comment:

“This post is super synchronicitous for me right now— I just got sent a list of meditations on emptiness by my doctor, and I can’t even begin to look at it. Maybe I can try to channel some of your extreme bravery and see about possibly taking a step closer. Most of us avoid the void!!”

Extremely reasonable I too do not wish to meditate on emptiness! The most relatable content.

Bringing it back, revised and updated

I was thinking about how meditating on emptiness also sounds daunting to me, and wondering what might help with that, and then suddenly I immediately knew what technique I’d use if I wanted to work on that.

Which made me realize it’s been a long time since we played with the metaphor technique around here, so today I am bringing it back.

We used to call this Metaphor Mouse, and I cannot remember why, but it’s a great technique and I use it pretty much all the time, and we should be playing with this more here too, so let’s do some of that today!

Apparently the last time I wrote about this technique here was 2011, so it’s definitely time to revisit…

What’s the metaphor technique?

The basic concept being that if a word or idea upsets us, or feels off-putting in some way, there’s probably a good reason for that. Understandable, whether we know the reason or not.

And we are wise and capable people who have the ability to play with and shift both the name and the meaning of whatever is feeling uncomfortable, so that we can find a more accessible starting point or entry point; something that doesn’t set off our aversion.

So on the one hand, this practice is about consciously making space for the aversion (aka Acknowledgment & Legitimacy), this is our starting point.

Then we very sneakily undo or counteract the aversion through rewriting / re-imagining our associations with whatever word or concept is a sticking point.

We make space for what is, and then we play

I totally get why someone might find meditating on EMPTINESS to be overwhelming, scary, uncomfortable or just plain unappealing.

So I invited this person to play with this technique that I used to write about a lot and haven’t written about in forever, and to keep her company I did the exercise too.

And in case you would like an example of what this practice might look like, I’m going to share my notes with you.

A quick review

We name all the negative qualities that we associate with emptiness and then investigate: does that bring up any kind of image or metaphor or idea or anything?

And we explore further: what are the positive qualities that we could find within [emptiness, for example] if we weren’t calling it emptiness or didn’t have this aversion, and does that remind us of anything?

And then how do we bridge between those two experiences, or what might a bridge look like or feel like here?

I am going to share my process with you this week and then next time maybe we can check in with hers!

A quick reminder

We know from the “People Vary” principle that words can have intensely personal definitions.

My definitions or associations may differ slightly or substantially from yours, and that’s fine. You can apply this technique and get your own answers and clues that work for you.

Your mileage may vary etc.

Potential negative associations with Emptiness (Havi’s version)

Hmmm, EMPTINESS. What don’t I like about emptiness when I am confronting emptiness?

+ too much space, it’s too big
+ scary
+ unsettling
+ anxiety: what if it gets filled with something I don’t like????
+ fear: am I going to have to be alone with my thoughts forever????
+ UNBOUNDARIED, where does the emptiness end
+ the Big Nothing is simply too vast
+ lonely
+ trepidation
+ unmoored
+ about to be washed away

Feels like / reminds me of

Maybe a documentary about outer space or the deep ocean? Like, I simply do not need to know about places that are so enormous my mind cannot comprehend them, it’s like contemplating infinity.

I know that some people feel reassured when think about how they are just a tiny meaningless speck in the grand scheme of things, but I feel the opposite.

It’s as if the MEANINGLESSNESS of it all overwhelms me and fills me with terror. I think maybe it’s also just the scope of it all. It’s too much to digest.

I have this fear, not a literal one but a felt-sense fear that is very emotional, and the fear is that I am going to be swept away and lost in space or at sea or in time, it’s unsettling in an existential way, if that makes sense.

Okay, so the image of emptiness makes me think of swirling around in space or being underwater, and lost to the vastness, and no sense of self or how to survive, a lot of futility and remorse amidst that fear.

Potential positive elements to emptiness

What is appealing to about emptiness? When does emptiness feel good, welcoming, accessible, possible?

+ like a new house, or an empty shelf, a beautiful and contained space that is waiting to be filled with objects that I love
+ the way I feel after a good yoga session when it feels like all the grit of my mind has been sifted out, and I am all glowy inside, my space got emptied to be filled with light and lightness and sparkle
+ the potential of something that is empty, like a jar that I can fill with home-made candied ginger, or a drawer that has been emptied
+ emptying air (gently, lovingly, without force) from lungs to refill and expand, the contraction before the expansion is like the moment between potential and kinetic

Feels like / reminds me of

I thought of an empty house, I thought of my body releasing after contracting, and expanding with new breath…

The image also popped up of a clearing in the forest, like suddenly you find yourself in an open circle, encircled by trees at the edges. A welcoming sweet space for camping, or for a ritual, or for taking a lovely nap.

The empty space is about spaciousness, but it is boundaried and contained. I know where it starts and ends. It can hold me. It’s a sanctuary space.

Finding a bridge, so to speak

So how do I move from EMPTINESS (I am hurtling through space, about to die) towards the kind of gentle, welcoming, expansiveness that is safe and contained of my forest clearing…

Or possibly I want emptiness in the form of a welcoming empty room that feels good, like a sanctuary or a yoga studio…

What I am actually picturing is the Dwan Light Sanctuary in northern New Mexico, one of my very favorite places in the entire world, an empty space that is full of rainbows because all the windows and skylights are prisms!

Wondering / wandering

If I am hurtling through space, is there a way I can land softly and safely in the sanctuary? Can I turn myself into a ray of light and beam myself in as a rainbow, can I become gentle diffused light?

Or is it as simple as grounding myself on the earth, and saying no to careening through space and saying yes to coming into sanctuary space. Arriving, safely.

Can I walk myself into the Empty Space that is welcoming, inviting, filled with soft light and rainbows, a safe place to hum, roll around on the floor, sit quietly, take a nap?

Can I perceive that I am held in community and companionship, all of us coming to our own quiet, safe, contained spaces and tuning into a shared hum of sanctuary space?

How do I feel

Much better, actually. More than I expected.

Shoulders are more relaxed. I like knowing that hurtling is unnecessary. There are other ways to be. What is important to me is shelter, light, comfort, arriving, and all of these are things I can access in my mind if I remember they exist for me.

Just remembering that the Light Sanctuary exists is comforting to me. I have a beautiful memory of spending a peaceful afternoon there, bathed in rainbows, feeling resonant and reverberating in the round space of humming light.

I feel more ready to embark on a Big Purge of stuff in my space. Looking forward to feeling a bit of Light Sanctuary energy here too. Maybe I want a prism. Maybe I am a prism. Maybe the rainbows are already flowing through me.

Let’s play through imagining & reverberating

Going to let that thought and that image reverberate within me and in my space and in the space of my mind for a while.

What if I can channel rainbows and shoot them out of my fingertips? Pew pew pew! That’s a fun thing to imagine. Let’s start there and see how it feels…

Come play in the comments, I appreciate the company

Leave a pebble (o) to say you were here, so I know I’m not doing this alone.

Also it feels good to pick up a pebble and place it somewhere, I have noticed.

You are invited to share any related situations or musings of your own if you like, or name any wishes that are in process. Or try this yourself!

And of course you are welcome to share anything that sparked for you while reading, anything that helped, clues received, or anything on your mind, wish some wishes, process what’s percolating…

I am lighting a candle for us and our beautiful heart-wishes. What a brave thing it is to allow ourselves to want something better for us and for the world.

Or if there’s anything you’d like to explore further or toss into the wishing pot, the healing power of the collective is no small thing, companionship helps.

Whatever comes to mind or heart. Let’s support each other’s hope-sparks…

Housekeeping note: You can subscribe to posts by email again!

If you aren’t seeing these updates in your in your email and want to, you can can solve that here.

This will pop up a new page on Follow.It that lets you subscribe via email, newsletter, or RSS reader. They say “expect 50 stories a week”, and that’s a very imaginary number, once a week is the dream.

I am emailing copies of the Emergency Calming Techniques package!

Anyone who gives to the Discretionary this week (more info below) will get my Emergency Calming Techniques package by email as a pdf. I am only checking email twice a week because I no longer have wifi at my place, long story, so be patient with me but if it doesn’t show up within the week then let me know!

I have some ideas for the next ebook too but if you do too, shoot me an email or share in the comments.

A request!

If you received clues or perspective or want to send appreciation for the writing and work/play we do here, I appreciate it tremendously.

I am accepting support (with joy & gratitude) in the form of Appreciation Money to the Discretionary Fund. Asking is not where my strength resides but Brave & Stalwart is the theme these days, and pattern-rewriting is the work, it all helps with fixing the many broken things.

And if those aren’t options, I get it, you can light a candle for support (or light one in your mind!), share this with someone who loves words, tell people about these techniques, approaches and themes, send them here, it all helps, it’s all welcome, and I appreciate it and you so much. ❤️