This is week 434 of this ritual, and so we chicken.
What’s been working? What do I want to play with….
My week can basically be summed up by this Liana Finck cartoon.
What has been working is knowing that not acting is not an option.
Focusing on Clarity and Purpose. One day at a time.
Breathing for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Post-election news gets worse and worse. Breathing fierce determination to act.
- I had a long rant about Jon Stewart, the last person I was expecting to disagree with this week, but I am erasing it because cycling through rantiness is not helpful for me right now, maybe once I get out of wheel-grinding mode. Breathing for reclaiming power.
- I cried over so many things this week but for some reason it was rereading The Wasteland that got me hardest, those last two sections, straight to the heart. Breathing and breathing.
- The dissonance of being around the unaffected. A breath for this.
- An old, old, old pattern that I am in the process of untangling, and right now it just hurts. Breathing for this.
- To be honest, spending the week alone in a motorhome in a supermarket parking lot with a bunch of mice and an unpredictable heater that doesn’t always work, when it’s 18 degrees Fahrenheit at night (that’s -7 in Celsius), all that is actually not as bad as it sounds. But ohmygod you guys, the internal monster brigade of Look At Your Life You Are Going To Be Forty And You Are The Biggest Failure That Has Ever Been. They are not fun. Breathing presence. And listening to twenty-year-old me and thirty-year-old me, who are delighted to know that my life did not turn out to be conventional or dull in any way, and none of their worries about that were justified!
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Breathing for the good, reassuring, and magical!
- Focused and clear. Breathing appreciation.
- Using my body to access calm: slow yoga with slow breathing, lots of TRE, balance, rest. Breathing and listening.
- I said this last week and it is still true (for me). Writing helps. Breathing thankfulness for an outlet.
- Mexican food and movie night with the cowboy before he left town. There are some lovely sweet things about small town life, about routine. A breath for comfort, warmth, smiling.
- Hey let’s notice all the things that didn’t go wrong! The mice kept to themselves. The heater worked through the night. I almost ran out of data on my phone but somehow made it through. A hundred billion trillion sparklepoints for all the things that are okay. Breathing.
- I know what I want. I am very clear about this. A breath for the many things that are possible.
- So grateful for my friends who kept me company this week by text: Agent Ravenstar, Agent Spalding, The Vicar, Briana, Lucky Lola, Richard, Lady Kathryn of the Jewels, Shawn, The Writer Who Writes, Adiv. It helps to have people who listen and who get it. A breath for companionship.
- An abundance of good ideas, comforting thoughts, useful intel from my body. A breath for the treasure that comes through quiet.
- Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of spotify playlists, beautiful mountains, a gigantic pot of tea, daydreaming about moving to a small town in Italy, night-dreaming about good things, finishing a project, snuggling. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Superpowers.
Last week I asked to own Fierce Determination so fully and powerfully that it glows for miles. I didn’t think this would show up since I was feeling pretty despondent when I asked, but I am having moments of this powerful determined glowing.
Two weeks ago, I asked for surprise perfect solutions that are so beautiful I clap my hands in delight. I got one, and would like some more please.
May it be so.
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
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Mmmmm! I am still loving the beautiful new design of this page!
This week’s hard:
– intermittent yuckiness
– the schmoo-influenced diet (have more, right now!)
– annoying aspects of medical appointment scheduling
– election aftermath in all its sliminess
This week’s good:
– moderately good medical report
– satisfying family communication
– getting help with $$ tracking & planning
– hilarity in metaphor mousing (plus, hedgehogs are adorable!)
– beautiful autumn leaves
– John Lewis and coauthors Andrew Aydin and Nate Powell won the National Book Award for 3rd/final volume of their graphic novel “March.” Well deserved, very pertinent to current times, recommend highly.
P.S. <3<3<3 to Havi and all the chickens!
Thinking good thoughts for you, Sue! Hedgehogs!
The hard:
– disgusting bug
– missed singing the Duruflé
– very hard to watch US friends go through what we went through in June, and still not have the answers
– the constant sense that I’m Not Doing Enough, but what will ever be enough? Keeping an eye on this one, because I’ve ridden this train before, and the last stop is Burnout.
– ongoing sense of Not My People, or Maybe My People But We Are All Too Scared To Reveal Ourselves
– growing sense that maybe I need to get My People together, but not relishing the amount of work it’ll be
The good:
– lots and lots of writing happening. Wrote and scheduled the post on burnout that I’ve been trying to write for ages. Nearly finished the first draft of the second novel.
– discovering that I have far more time than I think I do. About six months more, at a guess.
– my brother has arrived in Santiago
– any time I’m minded to think that I’m not contributing to improving people’s lives, the day job shows me otherwise
What worked:
– Rally!
– spending all Sunday in bed
– minimising Twitter exposure
– looking for and sharing good things
<3 <3 <3 <3
love to all the chickeneers
Rally! <3 <3 <3 <3
Hugs to all the chickens. Thank you, Havi, for this space and this post. Thank you to everyone who is working.
This week I had the superpowers of Doing What I Can Here And Now and of Finding The Good.
Good:
Help from many people.
MrB came home.
The Access bus service.
Refusing to accept delivery of several dump trucks full of guilt and blame.
Supporting my sister in her hard.
Rereading notes from Rally and FS blog posts.
Hard:
MrB went back to the hospital.
Chaos all over the house.
It’s not really cold out but it feels that way. Also indoors. (Dammit!)
Fatigue and too much to do.
Here’s to Refusing To Accept Delivery! I want the superpower of that please. <3 <3 <3 to you and MrB
Clew: the Big Dipper. I just noticed it on the door. I was reading about Chilseong (the Seven Stars, a Korean shamanistic/Taoist/Buddhist deity) yesterday at work. The local planetarium starts showing Polaris after Thanksgiving.
A superpower I had this week: the ability to crunch numbers. Even when crying. Even when coughing.
A superpower I will cultivate: North Star-ness.
Maddening, terrifying, hard…
* No longer joyful about the Cubs, thanks to a star pitcher showing his true colors.
* For that matter, quite a few people showing their true colors.
* In my circles, one suicide and a child physically attacked.
* That feeling of spending way too much time on something unlikely to be received seriously if at all.
* Wildfires out of control and affecting my lungs.
* Finding out about hummus recall AFTER spouse had consumed half the container.
* Settlers stealing olives.
* That thing where getting things done gets one taken for granted.
Affirming, nourishing, satisfying, good…
* I roasted a chicken and prepared broth and then soup with the carcass. I tried decorating a cake with corn syrup and green sugar for the first time. The sriracha I blended earlier this month pleasantly scorched my mouth tonight. Mocha chia pudding easy and delicious. Making pita bread brought to mind my happiest memories of Eilat. Being able to address midnight hunger pangs with tuna salad and tulsi chai.
* There are many, many people determined to halt the handbasket’s hurtling toward hell and the damage it’s already inflicted. I feel far less alone than I did back in grade school.
* Throwing away the recalled hummus and expired mustard and the tomato cutting with dodgy leaves. Clothes that weren’t quite right for me now with new delighted owners. Metal and glass hauled to their recyclers.
* The staff at my neighborhood wine store. With an unexpected chance to speak French today.
* Reading about local show of support for Muslim youth one red county to the east while sipping coffee in a Jewish bakery.
* More than a thousand people in my city attended Rep. John Lewis’s lecture yesterday morning.
Warm wishes to all y’all.
Hello, chicken. I appreciate you!
Hard:
–the bewildering logistics of moving across country.
–not yet knowing precisely *where* across country we’ll be living.
–the bittersweet process of saying goodbye to people here.
–the surreal and scary circus that is our current political situation.
Good:
–I’m sleeping pretty well at night, despite everything, and that’s a relief.
–Warm waves of appreciation from (and for!) the people I’ve been working with here.
–Daily opportunities to sing, to write, to play.
–I am loved.
Lighting my candle, and invoking the superpower of I Breathe, I Hum, and All Is Well. * <3 *
A breath for arriving here! So happy to see everyone!
What worked this week: my Internal Guidance kicked in a lot, and won many battles with the demons of my baser nature. any merit this week increased a dozen fold.
the sucks:
-i mean, yeah.
-one portion of this: seeing so many people just emboldened to be harsh and unkind. this is as large or small as you want to look. a breath for this
-broke my own rule and snapped at a total stranger on a friend’s FB feed. apologized. made worse because i was compelled to apologize for being sarcastic but HE was not made to apologize for insulting my intelligence. i used to say progressiveS love this country like a battered wife loves her husband. so many waYS this is true. a breath for that
-all the bullshit that an alcoholic can bring into your life
-finding it so hard to let go of MoonBoy, no matter what logic and reality are at play.
but so much sparkle:
-Operations Bianca Jaguar, Scary Sequin and Natasha are coalescing in a big old Milestone Moment as I prepare to fulfill a lifelong dream tomorrow: my burlesque debut. this journey has been very cool, full of illumination and magick, and i think ti will continue to be so. So grateful for all my teachers and mentors ans supporters on this path, and for past-Me who pushed, in spite of circumstances and reistsance aqnd timing and piles of bull shit, to make this happen in 2016. I have 2 shows before New Year, and i am so fucking happy and grateful.
-a breath for all the Fluent Self tech (Havi wisdom!) that enabled me to function since the election. a breath for everything that creates Foundation
-a breath for good new things on the way! despite it all, i feel good
Havi, I read the chicken in a village in Italy! Chickening in now on a Monday morning before work.
Last week’s hard:
– Exzema pretty bad. It has been almost three years with ups and downs and I find it so hard that whenever I think it is improving there is a new bout coming at some point. And all the itching and “I look horrible, my skin feels like sandpaper” that comes with it.
– Too much time consumed by work, the perfectionism of a colleague that prevents us from taking things easier when we actually could.
– Want to go to see a friend for New Year and flight prices have gone up like crazy.
– I keep going back into stagnation in areas I want to move forward and then I am blaming myself for this which doesn’t help.
The good:
– Despite the too many hours at work I keep realizing that I have the most amazing work environment ever and that we laugh our heads off in the office several times a day.
– Went to the first class of a jazz dance type of course. It was amazing to finally move to music again.
– 24 hours in my magic place of the year with someome who has immense healing capacities.
– The worry that I might be intruding in someone else’s space was needless, it was all completely natural and ended up in beautiful moments of soulmateship and sharing the most delicious lentil soup ever.
– Magic morning walk in an autumnal forest on a mountain, fog and clouds hovering mystically below, deer running past, the beautiful scent of humidity after a rainy night.
A village in Italy! Perfect! <3
Late, late chicken.
Sometimes life is Beyond Hard.
Sometimes the good is just barely even the teeniest crack of light through the most broken of urns [earns? Or even better; pitchers? A picture? I’m pitching? We’re all pitching?].
Goodwill to all, sweet chickeners. May all that we put out there in the world be returned to us tenfold.
Posted a poem on my poetry blog, after an interval of 7 months.
Considering how to create a poem from fragments/images related to 9 (or 14) people who mostly don’t know each other.
I’ve read 302 books this year; my goal had been 300.
My Q is still going to happen, but now it’ll be next month.
Decided not to request address of person who occasionally likes my photos on IG, but never comments. Despite a family connection btw us, I see no evidence she’s interested in me as a person.
Tomorrow is just another day for us. T day w Spouse’s parents was always awful anyway; stressful w mine. (But I miss tasty cooked food. Who knew that would become the luxury I miss most?)
Nurturing new relationships with young green friends.