A breath for these tough times

Sending out extra wishes of Safety & Sanctuary for everyone in the path of the hard things, what a scary time we are in, inhaling and exhaling, for compassion, strength, courage, swift and steady miracles.

Announcement / get your copy of Emergency Calming Down Techniques

I’ve been reeling hard lately in some cursed combination of heartache, numbness, political anxiety, winter stuff and some wild panic episodes.

Have been holding on (for dear life) to my Emergency Calm The Hell Down Techniques from a long time ago, and it’s been helping.

I am giving away a copy of these (ebook + audio recordings) to anyone who gives any sum of money to the appreciation funds / discretionary fund in the hopes that we can all keep practicing together, for each other and for the collective, and also for ourselves in these scary times. ❤️

Like A Thief In The Night

Seasons Gleamings

I was talking to a friend this week about how I have been hit hard by a fit of [desire for spring cleaning?], sure, let’s call it that.

And about how I am still in phase one, aka the fit of desire, and not at a phase of ready to take action.

Which is to say, I have not yet arrived at the point when I feel motivated or inspired or energized to actually do any spring cleaning, or put things in order, but I am noticing how strongly I feel the need for those things to happen.

Yes, okay, that is what is happening. I am experiencing the stirring of feeling, the pull, the need, the craving, the sense of almost, it is coming.

Let’s explore

It’s the season for gleaming, for renewal, for Further Reductions, for clearing the path, for re-establishing a clear line of sight.

I feel it, and also I am fighting it.

So that’s interesting. And probably very reasonable, given the exhaustion, the ennui, the heartache, the terrible times.

Let’s make room for both the wanting and the not wanting, the perception of ready and the perception of not-yet-ready. Let’s make room for all of it; we can create some spaciousness within the experience of a perceived contradiction.

That’s part of exploring. Let’s explore. Let’s add compassion, make room for all of it, create safety and sanctuary for all it, let’s explore.

What is not [burning it all down]

My friend, who is going through something similar with their house, said something like, “I wish it would just all burn down so I wouldn’t have to make decisions about what to do with all this stuff”, extremely relatable.

But that made me wonder, what is better and more efficient and less violent than burning?

I wish you could come steal a bunch of my stuff, I said.

Like I just need someone who loves me to sneak in, like a thief in the night, and take everything I wouldn’t miss, and keep taking things until I have spaciousness again.

Yes, like a thief in the night.

A thief in the night

The thief is so sneaky! They know what you won’t miss!

Maybe you can’t bring yourself to give something away or throw it away, because some day it might be useful, or maybe it sparked joy one and could again, or who knows, it is too overwhelming to make the decision, or you feel bad about sunk costs, or about being wasteful.

The thief who loves you doesn’t care about any of this. They know you haven’t touched that object in two years, or that it brings up feelings of resentment, or reminds you of a dream that is gone, but not in a good way or a helpful way.

What fun

The thief knows you will feel better with this stuff gone, and you won’t even wonder where it is.

Anyway, they can always put it in a box and ransom it to you if you do miss it, so there’s that option too.

I really like this notion of the thief in the night who adores me so much that they clear away clutter so that I can have clarity again, and they aren’t stuck on any of the things I get stuck on.

My friend and I laughed about how fun it would be to be each other’s thieves. What a delightful mission.

Invigorated

My friend lives far away so I had to be my own Thief In The Night, and yesterday I did a thirty minute Thief In The Night session, and filled a large bag with donation items, and put it in the car.

This morning I felt noticeably relieved to have more space, and also couldn’t remember what was in the bag of donation items. Nothing I miss yet. God bless the thief in the night! A candle for the thief in the night.

In morning meditation, the word that bubbled up for me was INVIGORATED.

Invigorated. I like it even better than Motivated, which has been my wish lately. There is a flush of energy, something hopeful.

Fresh and refreshing. It self-refreshes! A liveliness, an aliveness, I feel enlivened.

Let us invigorate

Let us invigorate. An action. An active verb.

Yesterday I tried to invite a writing hour, and it would not happen. Except it turned out that too was because I needed [An Invigorating].

I needed An Invigorating in the form of laundry and shower, in the form of trash out, in the form of being A Thief In The Night.

Today writing hour felt uncomplicated and attainable, thanks to this process of invigoration, if that’s a word. Because of the lively enlivening.

What else about [Invigorated]?

Talk to me about the powers of INVIGORATED. What is it related to?

Grounded Enthusiasm
And I Crave It
Powerfully Motivated
Calm Steady Focus
Spaciousness
Loving Clarity
Clearing the path to clear the path
Further Reductions
Possibility on the horizon…

The Glamorous Assassin

I have been journaling with an Incoming Self lately, an aspect of me who has wisdom to share with me.

Sometimes they don’t want to share more wisdom because I haven’t yet assimilated the previous bits of wisdom.

This self is The Glamorous Assassin, and only cares about three things, and so whenever I ask a question, it always comes back to those three things:

• trust in IT SOLVES ITSELF, keep placing your wishes into the cauldron of IT SOLVES ITSELF
• you gotta lean harder on trusting your sense of the vibes; if the vibes aren’t right then keep it moving
• please, for the love of god, I need you to have way better boundaries (memorize and utilize the phrase “this isn’t working for me” or “that doesn’t work for me”)

What do you wish I knew?

The Glamorous Assassin: Delight in the training. Keep training. Keep refining. Keep learning from the training and the refining.

You know that you can be the thief in the night even without stealing, you could fill 1-3 boxes of things that are potentially still yeses or maybes, and put them in the shed for now.

The point is, you can create SPACE and SPACIOUSNESS without having to receive immediate decisions, or without the stress / perceived stress of receiving those decisions.

A lot can go, and it can go easily.

A lot can be removed from your line of sight, so that you can have more clear clarity right now. If you want to feel invigorated, then start invigorating. You need to treasure and respect your line of sight and your periphery.

What supports being The Thief In The Night?

The Glamorous Assassin: Stay playful. Keep laughing about this. Keep involving your friends. Offer to be someone else’s thief. Channel compassion.

You are stealing things from yourself because you love yourself, you are stealing to create SPACIOUSNESS, the thing you actually want.

Stealth ops. In and out. It won’t even be missed. Hack into the mainframe. Say: I’m in.

That’s how you know you’re in.

The ongoing mystery/wish of the right handyperson

It has somehow been nearly five years since I landed out here in the wilds of New Mexico.

Over this time period, I have worked with at least nine handymen. Would you like to guess how many did not hit on me? (It’s two, the answer is two, and one of those two probably would have, had they spent more time here.)

My kingdom for someone who can fix things and is not going to comment on my body, my looks, whether or not I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how come someone like you is out here all alone etc.

A new form of waiting it out

I just want things to get fixed, and to not have to deal with inappropriate comments, why is this hard, I am not sure.

But I do know that this incoming self does not do what I currently do (try to assess who is the least offensive option).

Instead they stay attuned to the superpower of It Solves Itself, and they go by vibes. And if the vibes aren’t right then they wait until the vibes are right.

They keep looking, searching, asking, wishing, putting the word out, placing the wish into the cauldron, training and practicing.

It’s not a passive waiting, it’s an active waiting, a form of invigorating. Not an acquiescing. But a steady practice of staying receptive to something better.

What will help? What supports this? What are the next steps?

I want to:

Keep clearing space.
Keep naming the wishes.
Keep adding compassion, warmth, sweetness, a generosity of spirit.
Keep making space and spaciousness for the essence of my wishes, to let myself want what I want (it is not extravagant or extra to want to not be hit on in my own home), to want better for myself and the world.

I think it is going to take some patience, some creativity, some luck, some practice, some faith in the process of It Solves Itself.

In the meantime, I am going to keep being The Thief In The Night, and removing what feels extraneous, or not of the moment, making space for something new.

Invoking some superpowers!

Being the thief in the night involves:

Playfulness. Expansiveness. Possibility. Hope.

Creativity. Treasuring. Receptivity. Agency.

And staying attuned to the sensation of INVIGORATED, and doing whatever supports that, whether that’s pausing to make tea, or going for a walk outside.

As always

As always, it comes back to trying things, noticing how it feels, trying something else, being warm and generous with myself, applauding myself for staying with the process of trying and noticing.

This is how we learn, sometimes it is fun and sometimes it is less fun, and also, here we are, trying again. Points for bravery, good job for trying.

Playing together

Happy to be an imaginary thief in the night for anyone else too, if you need to pretend there is a good-hearted thief who just wants to make things spacious for you.

Let’s create a bunch of spaciousness for ourselves! Tell us about your thief disguise in the comments!

Come play in the comments, I appreciate the company

Leave a pebble (o) to say you were here, so I know I’m not doing this alone.

Also it feels good to pick up a pebble and place it somewhere, I have noticed.

And of course you are welcome to share anything that sparked for you while reading, anything that helped, clues received, or anything on your mind, wish some wishes, process what’s percolating…

I am lighting a candle for us and our beautiful heart-wishes. What a brave thing it is to allow ourselves to want something better for us and for the world.

Or if there’s anything you’d like to explore further or toss into the wishing pot, the healing power of the collective is no small thing, companionship helps.

Whatever comes to mind or heart. Let’s support each other’s hope-sparks…

Housekeeping note: You can subscribe to posts by email again!

If you aren’t seeing these updates in your in your email and want to, you can can solve that here.

This will pop up a new page on Follow.It that lets you subscribe via email, newsletter, or RSS reader. They say “expect 50 stories a week”, and that’s a very imaginary number, once a week is the dream.

I am emailing copies of the Emergency Calming Techniques package!

Anyone who gives to the Discretionary this week (more info below) will get my Emergency Calming Techniques package by email as a pdf. I am only checking email twice a week because I no longer have wifi at my place, long story, so be patient with me but if it doesn’t show up within the week then let me know!

I have some ideas for the next ebook too but if you do too, shoot me an email or share in the comments.

A request!

If you received clues or perspective or want to send appreciation for the writing and work/play we do here, I appreciate it tremendously.

I am accepting support (with joy & gratitude) in the form of Appreciation Money to the Discretionary Fund. Asking is not where my strength resides but Brave & Stalwart is the theme these days, and pattern-rewriting is the work, it all helps with fixing the many broken things.

And if those aren’t options, I get it, you can light a candle for support (or light one in your mind!), share this with someone who loves words, tell people about these techniques, approaches and themes, send them here, it all helps, it’s all welcome, and I appreciate it and you so much. ❤️