Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Usually it takes me a while to come up with my Very Personal Ads for the week.
This time I have so many that it might as well be a straight-out Gwish List. Gwish!
A Gwish = part-goal, part-wish — but better!
Thing 1: Hawaii?
Here’s what I want:
Remember two weeks ago at Rally (Rally!) when my project told me I had to take it to Hawaii?
So I want to find a mysterious magical way for that to happen. And I want it to be a quiet secret project.
And now that my four-day vacation to southern Oregon got completely eaten up with a work emergency, I’m really, really, really wanting a proper holiday even more.
Ways this could work:
I already have the bathing suit. What else could I possibly need? Oh, right.
Time, money and a plan. The three things that I have the most complicated stressful relationship with…
Okay. So I think I’m going to have to OOD it.
And do some serious monster-negotiating, possibly with the help of the coloring book and Slightly Future Me.
My commitment.
I’m putting it here.
Writing this, I realize that the real wish is not even so much about Hawaii-ing as it is about being able to stay receptive to the idea that this could happen.
To remember that I don’t have to figure out the how of it yet.
And to give myself permission to want the wanting.
So for now I’m putting that into the pot, and adding spices.
Thing 2: a really good strapless bra
Here’s what I want:
I may have also already purchased a dress for Hawaii. Despite having absolutely no plan about the how or why of this trip that is not yet a trip. It’s a symbol.
Also: in for a penny, etc etc.
Im kvar az kvar. Wenn schon denn schon.
The point is, I need a really good strapless bra. One that does the job and keeps me inside of my strapless dress rather than outside of it. Except that I haven’t had to deal with that kind of dress in a good fifteen years.
Do they even make something that isn’t all underwire pain and hurt-ey? Have there been drastic and fabulous breakthroughs in strapless technology that I don’t know about?
That would be nice!
Ways this could work:
Well, I’m asking here.
And I can ask at the Kitchen Table.
I don’t really have girly friends but I will put the word out just in case. Maybe one of my neighbors? Or Dana!
My commitment.
To find out. To imagine that maybe the just-right thing exists. To remember the idea of the “perfect, simple solution”, as Hiro would say.
Thing 3: The Crossing!
Here’s what I want:
My quiet and beautiful almost-ready project from the last Rally (Rally!) is ready to be seen. By a few people. Quietly.
So I want a way to whisper-brunch it into the world, in the most whispering way possible.
Without that seeming obnoxious. And without it being invisible.
Just a loving, tiny, focused “here I am” that is both present and quiet. In a simple, clean, clear way.
Ways this could work:
I’ve talked this over with slightly future me and she had some remarkably good ideas. Will keep talking.
My commitment.
To find out what I need and what my project needs.
To help it feel safe, welcome and appreciated.
Thing 4: Finding the good
Here’s what I want:
Sometimes I’m so entrenched in a situation that I can’t figure out what’s good about it, because all I can see is the hard parts.
Without in any way ignoring the hard or diminishing the legitimate feelings that I have related to being in a difficult situation, I’d like to be able to also find the good.
I know that certain aspects of this experience are really useful and important, and that’s what I want to connect with.
Ways this could work:
Let’s see. I can hold an internal council.
Or consult my Board of Surprisers from my Kitchen Table program.
Or maybe the good will just reveal itself and I will say aha there you are!
My commitment.
To remember that there is always more good than I think.
Thing 5: The Great Ducking Out!
Here’s what I want:
We’ve finally got the page up for the 2nd Annual Great Ducking Out.
This is where we yell Run Awaaaaaay!. We escape the madness that is American Thanksgiving by hanging out at the Playground and eating delicious food and being silly and destuckifying.
I want help spreading the word, and I want a bunch of lovely people to sign up and join us.
There is a Rally version which is a whole day longer than a regular Rally.
And there is an afternoon version where you join us for the day of American Thanksgiving — we do some Shiva Nata, we play and then there’s a lovely indoor picnic!
Ways this could work:
I can give you guys the link. Here it is! http://TheFluentSelf.com/ducking
Maybe people who came last year can share little stories about how great it was. That would be excellent!
Maybe people who have been to other Rallies and Playground things can spread the word. I don’t know.
My commitment.
To remember how much fun this was and how it was the best best best non-Thanksgiving ever.
Thing 4: Celebration and enthusiasm for the Shiva Nata iPhone app
Here’s what I want:
The Shiva Nata app — Pocket Shiva Nata — it’s here! Hooray!
I want more people to know about this, more loving reviews in the app store, more confetti, more general rejoicing!
Ways this could work:
Here’s the post I wrote over at the Shiva Nata blog about the app and what it’s like.
And where we talk confetti. Confetti!
My commitment.
To fill up on love. To spread love. To throw my own confetti.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted a breadbox and got some good ideas/suggestions that I am considering.
Then there was the massage treatments I wasn’t setting up. Letting the First Mate do that was brilliant. On the calendar!
Then I wanted to go on tour with Guns N Rollers to their bout in Medford, and it happened! I did a mini-warm-up for them too, and brought Play spray from the Playground, and it was super fun. And they won!
I asked for fun with Toozday’s Shiva Nata class at the Playground and it was very fun.
And I wanted Rallions for the 2012 Rallies. Which I still want. But it definitely worked because now there are Rallions for January, February, May and June! Yay.
And just in case you want the Rally dates for next year, they’re right here.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Things that are welcome! Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
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Ohh VPAs!
Oh boy ohboy.
This week: We are doing gwishes.
VPA#1: I would very much like spaciousness.
Do I know what that means yet?
No.
Sleep: plenty, not barely-enough.
Clients: Looking for a few good folks who want massages.
Time: yes.
VPA#2: The reconfiguration:
to take shape smoothly and gently.
To make sense like Athena emerging from Zeus’s head.
(and yes, stopping the headache would be good.)
VPA#3: reconnection.
graceful and easy. Please.
VPA#4: I would like a rhythm.
and bonus: health and singing?
I know these are kind of obscure. That’s what felt right today.
Hmmm… my VPA (for the first time ever on this blog…)
What I want:
Friends… normal, hang around with, cook food together and play games with type friends here in my new (as of a year ago) town.
Ways this could work:
I am not sure yet… but there’s a “you’re not cool enough for friends” monster lurking about there somewhere… and a “you’re too introverted to get out and meet anyone anyhow…” monster, too. Those monsters need dealing with…
Sigh…
may I simply toss in an armload of gratitude and a reverberant Hari Om?
The only thing I want right now:
Much less working in an office and MUCH more time with my children (and the funds to make that possible).
How this could happen:
I could be made redundant, husband could be offered a job, I could win some money, I could find a fabulous 50% job or some amazing freelance work, I could run away with the circus…
My commitment:
To try to stay positive and not complain (too much)
To keep my mind open to new possibilities
To enjoy as much as possible the time I DO get with my kids
To keep working on my website.
Your trip to Hawaii sounds really exciting! And it will definitely happen.
I have to jump in now, before the week starts without me. Hello week!
Here’s what I want:
Thing 1: Workmen to do the work!
The workmen to show up to fix the garage. They’re supposed to come Monday. They haven’t called or emailed to say when they are coming.
Ways this could work:
I could remember that this is not my project; it is MrB’s and let him deal with it.
I could call the guy and try to get a commitment about showing up.
I could put it out here — message to the Universe! — please!
Thing 2: Things done.
While I’m wanting the workmen to show up, I have things, like painting inside the cupboards, that need to be done. I want to get them done.
Ways this could work:
I could figure out where the loose end is, you know, the thing that you pull on that unravels the whole mess.
I could just be in motion!
Riding the Wild Donkey! This idea comes from the Goddess Leonie’s blog. Love it.
I could talk to Slightly Future Me about how I did it, and to the Monsters and the Walls and the Stuckness and find out what they need.
My commitment:
To let things happen. To get out of the way.
To be patient with myself and others.
To trust that what needs to happen will happen.
And Friday (Friday!) we have plans for an exciting thing that I can’t wait to write about at the Chicken!
The first time I saw “gwish” I thought it meant “good wish”, like the Australian “g’day, mate”, as in “sending good wishes your way” — so I’m wishing gwishes for everyone.
Into the pot!
You know what would be awesome and amazing? If everyone could have a glorrrrrrious week!
Gwish! Gwish!
VPA time (*much cheering*)
Mmmm let me think.
1. Slow sorting
of data work, of admin, of things in my house.
2. Some time in the gym environment
for mood and health enhancing
3. More clarity on what I want in a certain unclear situation
My commitment
To be nice, and patient, and take time for these things.
To enjoy life a little bit every day in the process.
xx
Havi, the secrets besides the strapless bra might include altering the dress to fit you specifically, and also, the seekrit tape sold alongside lingerie and other foundations. 🙂
With this, I officially abdicate my lurker status. (Hi everyone!)
Here are my Gwishes/VPAs, abridged.
One: A yoga studio. Which will house at least one teacher who is relatable, smart, a true yogi and has warm vibes (a la Havi). The studio will be spacious and sweet-smelling and other people will be not annoying and also sweet and potential friends. The classes will feel like fun adventures (with sweet spiritual rest thrown in). Much yogic learning will ensue and I will love coming to this place to take care of myself. (I live in NYC, if anybody has tips!)
Two: Find all the places in my life where resignation is hiding. And talk to the resignation monsters.
Three: Meditate (do Shiva Nata?) on the idea that what I am right now is who I am. Because Inner Me told me today that there is no ‘true me’ from some abstract point in the past or future.
Four: Start thinking about how I can get myself to a Rally in 2012. Pretty please with a cherry on top.
VPA
Want:
My house to sell!!! Maybe even quickly (dare I ask? Yes I do)
Ways this could happen:
Doing many things already to make this real. Have an amazing real estate person who loves the house, so it feels like there’s happy loving energy around selling it.
Commitment:
patience
enjoy the house while I’m in it
Know that there is one person/family who really needs this house and will find it.
Havi- about the strapless bra-thing. Here’s a site. I’ve found their stuff (though it seems pricey) to be amazingly comfortable and effective. It took my 22 year old daughter to convince me to buy one and now I love it.
http://www.spanx.com
On bras: get thee to Nordstrom. I thought my strapless bra fitting there would be totally humiliating and awful, but the clerk was amazing and the store had lots of options–or at least it did a couple of years ago when I went looking for a strapless bra. (Tip: take the dress you want to wear with you.)
You might also check out figleaves.com. They have a huge selection of bras, though I haven’t checked out their strapless varieties.
My first time VPAing in a while. Craziness gives me impetus to say/ask/gwish/beg
VPA #1: More time, please!!
There is so much I need to do and not enough time in which to do it. On the top of that list – time enough to cook good, healthy, nourishing food for myself instead of either slapping something uninteresting in a pan/pot or ordering online.
Ways it could work – I am supposed to take a good chunk of time off, and I could use that instead of going on vacation. I could set aside small bits of time every morning instead of diving straight into work. I could let go of the idea that I’ll be all unpacked before the year is out.
My Commitment – to stay open to new ideas. To breathe. To remember that sleep is always most important.
VPA #2: Release of anxiety
I’ve been having a lot of panic/anxiety issues cropping up in the past month, and they’re increasing in frequency and intensity. I would very much like to untangle the sources so I can release them, and with them, the anxiety.
Ways this could work – I’m not sure yet. I’ve been speaking to my monsters to no avail so far, but they could help me to a breakthrough. I could speak to Slightly Future Me, or Even Further Future Me. I could work with an internal negotiator, work on Shiva Nata, or even try EFT again.
My Commitment – To love myself gently. To remember that every plant has to crack through its seed, & every flower its bud. To practice being in the moment.
VPA #3: To write, to write, to write.
It has been a very, very long time since I’ve worked on my writing. It is growing into a physical pain. Having no time even to cook makes grabbing time to write a guilt-ridden action, and as such my output is pretty awful. I want to be able to write with no guilt.
Ways this could work – I could talk more to my guilt-monsters. I could get VP #1 which would make this a vastly easier thing.
My Commitment – To be constantly thinking of my characters and my plotlines so that even if I’m not typing-writing, I’m writing somewhere inside me. To investigate my workspace to see whether there are blockages there. To work on self-forgiveness.
VPA #4: A dresser I can handle on my own
I’m looking for a dresser with deep drawers but which is still something I can carry and maneuver on my own. All the dressers I’ve found so far as a bit beyond me.
Ways this could work – Keep trawling Freecycle. Ask friends. Imagine some IKEA alternatives that aren’t huge boxes of build-it-yourself. Put it out there.
~ ~ ~
Again, thank you, Havi, for this venue. I really appreciate all you do.
Regarding the strapless bra, since you did ask – have you looked into the no-back adhesive kinds? I was quite surprised at how effective they were. Otherwise, I’d suggest a Coobie bandeau, since they’re easy and comfortable.
I think this seriously asks to be a VPA for a new job that started on Friday but officially starts tomorrow:
– Some contract issues are still unresolved. I am asking for the contract to end AT THE LATEST at the end of April so that I can have a proper break before the next job which will involve a move abroad. I am really asking it to end at the end of March already.
– I am asking for as little overwhelm as possible by all the things I have to learn plus all the new faces and names.
– I am asking for a solid energy level to cope with all this and for more time and space to breathe and non-do than I think I will actually have.
– I am asking about questions about days off to just fall into place so that I can have a long weekend in early October and at least one whole week off before the job ends plus several more long weekends.
– I am asking to soon feel as sovereign in the new job as I did in the old.
– I am asking to learn things that will be useful for the dream job that comes after this and I am asking to accept that even stuff I won’t feel like doing will teach me something useful.
How this can work:
– Things can just fall into place contractwise.
– Bosses will just be totally accepting about me organizing my free days.
– Patience, learning new stuff step by step.
– Meditation, yoga, hermit time.
My committment:
– Learning things and names and faces step by step, not panicking if I make mistakes.
– More sleep and hermit time than usual, hence cutting down on socialising outside of work and not feeling guilty about it.
And another very important VPA:
I am asking for my husband to be safe in his unsafe surroundings.
Sending love and safety to your project,and for the iPhone app!
Update on last time:
I wanted.. flow in each day… which totally didn’t happen. However, I’ve caught up today so I guess that’s not AS bad.
All’s well that ends well and all that.
Thing One: My Birfday!
What I’d Like, Please:
My 21st birthday is this week [huzzah!] and my friend is coming up to see me and we’re partying with my parents (hardcore, non?).
I’d like this to be full of flow and sparkly happiness. Last year I spent the day alone with my cats. This is my 21st; it’s meant to be big. And therefore, I invited 5 people over.. one’s coming and I’m determined it’s going to be amazing. We will play the board game Mouse Trap and I will win. I hope.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to keep the cola + whiskey in my room in case my father acts like himself.
I can warn Bex about him.
I shall keep my other half updated.
I’ve already bought snacks and I’ve been doing daily Shivanata so I’m as much in flow as I can be.
My commitment.
– To try not to SEARCH FOR negativity. Anyone can find it if they look hard enough; especially if it’s not there.
– To breathe.
– To dance if I’m feeling low.
– To be honest about my feelings.
– To reach out if I need help.
Thing Two: The Phoenix Mind
What I’d Like, Please:
On Wednesday 24th, I’m launching my new website/blog. Essentially it’s neuroscience meets self-improvement. But not in those terms.
There will be spiked internet punch, and I want lots of people to attend the comments section of the launch party.
Ways this could work:
I can tell everyone – in fact here’s the link: http://thephoenixmind.com (although it won’t be 100% ready until Wednesday)
I can breathe and trust.
I can ask how future me found it.
My commitment.
– Again; to try not to SEARCH FOR negativity. Anyone can find it if they look hard enough; especially if it’s not there.
– To breathe.
– To dance if I’m feeling low.
– To gently remind everyone that it’s happening.
Have a lovely week everyone. -hugs-
A Portland-specific bra tip (ok, actually 2):
1) If you want to support a local business, check out http://www.justlikeawoman.com/. Very nice people who’ll make certain you get the right fit.
2) Gotta second @Lesliemb – Nordstrom does totally rock the bra thing.
Bra shopping is perhaps the thing I dread most in the world shopping-wise. These two places make it nearly tolerable (almost fun at times even). If that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is!!
ah, Hawaii. Happy sigh and a squee in Havi’s general direction. 🙂
OK, here we go:
Thing 1: to zip the dress
Here’s what I want:
Last time I posted VPAs, I had one about feeling beautiful in a bridesmaid dress. Well, the dress arrived. It is really gorgeous, and I feel gorgeous wearing it. Except. The dress doesn’t quite zip all the way – it has maybe 2 or 3 inches to go. The wedding is in early October; I will need to take the dress to the seamstress in early September to be shortened. I would really, really love for the dress to zip by that time and not need some sort of alteration miracle.
Ways this could work:
I can take this cue to get serious again about exercising and watching what I eat.
My metabolism could decide it loves me and wants to work overtime.
My commitment.
To have happy little daydreams about how damn good it will feel to zip that dress up all the way, and how fabulous I will look in it (it really is a great dress).
To tell myself I am beautiful regardless of weight or inches – and believe it as often as possible.
To remember that this is all about my friend who is getting married and that I am so very happy for her.
Thing 2: Clothes for Canada
Here’s what I want:
Next month my husband and I are spending a week hiking in the Canadian Rockies. Our San Antonio wardrobes are somewhat lacking in appropriate clothing for this adventure. I want to fill in the gaps with good quality items that will keep us warm and dry and healthy on our trip. I want this to happen without spending all our trip money on clothes and supplies.
Ways this could work:
Lovely people could give me suggestions for stores, online or in San Antonio/Austin, where hiking gear can be purchased for good prices.
Stores I already know about could have fabulous sales.
There could be pennies from heaven.
My commitment.
To be open to perfect simple solutions.
To do reality checks on what we actually need vs. what perfectionist me thinks we need.
To remind myself how very excited I am about this trip.
Thing 3: Healthy Teeth
Here’s what I want:
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. It’s my first one in, um, a few years actually. I would really, really love to have it go smoothly and painlessly.
Ways this could work:
It just could.
My commitment.
To brush and floss my teeth. 🙂
To take time tomorrow morning to do preparatory stuff in the soft.
To tell my teeth and gums that I love and appreciate them.
Update since last time:
My VPAs last time were to feel beautiful in the bridesmaid dress and to resolve an ongoing health thing. Both of these are ongoing asks, really. Perhaps I should dance on it.
Have a happy and gwish filled week everyone!
happy VPA-ing everyone!
updates:
-found a place for my dogs! so happy. very expensive, but worth it.
-the europe tour is taking shape. not ready yet, and i know i am delaying things… but i am scared. and both my computers died.
-opening up: it will take time, but i am understanding a lot of things and working on them. slow progress.
this week’s VPAs:
thing #1: the surprise to be what i want it to be, and to be chosen for it.
-ways: get the email.
-commitment: to accept whatever the outcome. to keep my expectations low, or at least realistic. how do you do that, when it is what i have wanted so much?
thing #2: to get ready for the europe tour.
-ways: book what i have pending, choose.
-commitment: explore why i haven’t done it, and do a secret code mail, and hope.
thing #3: trust the universe
-ways: gratitude, take one thing at a time, adapt
-commitment: be me, my sovereing self and trust that the universe knows better, that it holds the pattern, it presents the options and then it will be me, to act upon them. cry because i am scared. write because i am confused. dance. and be patient with me.
love.
Good morning Havi and everyone!
For the bra thing would a tube bra work? Or sewing some of those pad things into the dress? this also includes finding someone to sew the pad things into the dress. btw i love dresses that have built in bras. i call them naked dresses. 🙂 or depending on how formal the dress is just wear your swim suit under it and call it a coverup?
Also, I bought the shiva nata app, but then didn’t get to play with it because the grandparents whose house I was going to go to decided to come to my house instead, so much crazy cleaning was required. as such… will be posting a review and such-like after I get to play with it.
Woo okay onto the VPA-ing for mwa
**¿Qué quiero?** I want to not have to fight my grandmother whenever I want something or anything. That’s not quite right. I want to be able to tell my grandmother my plans and wants without her trying to tell me that’s not what I want. (big example, husband tells her, we’re not going to bolivia for another 5-7 years, if at all… she says, no you must move to bolivia now and you have to do this this and this too, me, but that’s not what we want. Her, yes it is, you just don’t know it. small example, we want the kitchen to be more open and look like this, her, no I would do your kitchen this way, completely opposite of what you say you want and my way is better.
Puedo realizarlo si- I preface things with, don’t fight me on this. but this gets old. Not telling my grandma what I want/plan on doing isn’t working. I want to have some kind of a relationship with her (she did raise me and is basically my mother). I tell her how antagonistic I feel she’s being. I look around here for other ways this could work and how to deal with people who throw shoes and in the monster manual maybe? could this opposite-ness actually be a demand for attention… she did do the same thing with my wedding.
cometo a – remember her insistence that things be her way, is one of her shoes and that i don’t deserve shoes thrown at me. To do my best to breath deeply and pause before responding to her opposite-ness.
That’s a long one and a big one for me so I’ll stop there.
Into the pot!
–a tangled work situation finds ease and empowerment
–a new daily practice of singer-songwritering is established and celebrated
–sovereignty in the face of other people’s stuff is embraced (dammit!)
How it can happen: focus. curiosity. play!
My commitment: I give myself love, and share it generously.
RE: the strapless bra… I’ve used the adhesive bras, which seem like they’d be uncomfortable but really aren’t, or at least weren’t in my pre-Bolivian days.
Into the pot: getting the plot outline for my novels done! And figuring out my energy cycle — I seem to be “up” for a few days, then plunge into useless/dark. I’d like to even that out a little, or better prepare for dark days.
🙂
Ask Havi # 30 apparently is perfect for what I’m looking for… I will continue to fly through the archives and poke around. Also, of course, the post on Bolivia gives me some help in solidarity – that and the fact that all of my closest female friends feel as I do about moving to Bolivia. Family however, not as helpful…
Wow, lots of bra tips. I am also a fan of Nordstrom’s. Every time I go there for a fitting/new bra, I feel totally supported — in many ways! 🙂
My VPA from last week was to have less tension, and I’m def moving in that direction. Changing my pillows helped as well. I’m working on relaxing my body more, and breeeeeathing. I dedicate part of this week’s ask to MORE relaxation and LESS anxiety.
This week’s ask:
To be much more active, and to monitor carbs. It’s a little experiment to see what works and doesn’t re: how I feel w/certain foods in my body. How my mood shifts. How my body feels/looks.
My commitment is to do the workouts I have mapped out this week, even if I’m tired. I also want to try to go for 2 walks this week (including this weekend). That will increase my activity right there! I also want to be sure I stretch, as that seems to help the ever-present Foot Problem.
On the food front, I commit to doing a food log all week (with one day off this weekend). I will monitor my overall carb intake and see how/where I can cut back. I will also document in my journal how this feels. I commit to making sure I have sufficient nourishment. I also commit to considering alternatives (I have excellent, healthy snacks in place, so I don’t have to reach for the same high-carb comfort foods) for when I’m feeling a food emergency come on. I will pause and think and make a different choice.
I’m thinking about throwing some things into a WOK!
When you throw things in the pot, it’s like they are there to simmer for a while, mingle their flavors, be transformed…
Sometimes, though, I need something quick, and the wok is a quick way to blend things together and make something different and good…
So I’m going to get some of my bits and pieces of things that need to be done and throw them into the wok, give them a bit of attention and a flavoring of fantasy, and then WRAP THEM UP!
The only time I use a wok is to make egg rolls, so this is a perfect metaphor for what I want to do. Wrapping these things up!
Okay, after thought. When I read this post – well, actually all the comments with suggestions about bra fitting and shopping – I thought it was all amusing that bra-shopping had become such a serious business (really I mean this in the best way possible).
And as these things go, they also come around. During the three year period of going through and then recovering from my divorce took a toll in the form of extreme changes in weight and body composition. Now that life has settled down and life is more forward-looking I have been mercilessly going through my closets and monitoring my weight and measurements.
You can guess where this is going, not a single bra fits and mostly – amazingly – all the bands are too big and the cups are too small. Yeah, scratching my head about that too. Anyway, I mozy over to my favorite and second choice local stores for such things only to discover that while they list the size band I need they don’t actually have any to sell; nor do any of their suppliers carry them either.
So apparently the powers that be knew I needed a VPA for finding bras that fit even if I was totally clueless at the time. So thank you Havi for bringing up the topic and all the suggestions from the commenters. So I now have a list and a mission.