Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
You know, some weeks I have massive VPA resistance, and even the thought of wanting or finding out about the wanting (or admitting to it) is already a really big deal.
This week I have lots of wants, but am not entirely sure how to formulate them. I guess because they seem so contradictory.
On the surface, at least.
But I know from having done this for … yes, a hundred and twenty five weeks in a row … it all kind of sorts itself out.
So maybe I’ll start with that.
Thing 1: An extra helping of clear knowing.
Here’s what I want:
I don’t have to know how all my asks fit together, but I want some perfect simple solutions to show up.
And I would like to remember that these seemingly contradictory things are actually harmonious.
That they support each other. Like fractal flowers. And they share the same basic elements.
Ways this could work:
I could do some Shiva Nata on it and have realizations and see how it could all work.
Actually, knowing Shiva Nata, I’ll come up with six or seven different ways that it could all work.
Which is fine by me!
My commitment.
To do my secret marathon training sessions (shhhh, this is a proxy and it’s actually relaxing and I like it — don’t tell the monsters!).
To reflect.
To ask curious and loving questions about the various things that I want right now, to find out how they’re all connected. To see if there are shared qualities and to spend time with those qualities.
Thing 2: A HAT!
Here’s what I want:
A HAT stands for Havi’s Announcing a Thing , and there is a thing that needs announcing.
This requires a HAT page and some administrative decision-making time.
Ways this could work:
My new experimental practice of Sceptering , which seems to speed things up.
I could use the extremely great Deguiltified Chicken Board from my Kitchen Table program, which does the magic every time.
And I can find out what is hiding inside this HAT and get to know it.
My commitment.
What if there is a restful, playful, fun, ease-filled way this could happen?
Here is my plan! I am going to find out which parts of me think this is even possible , and then ask them for advice about how to talk to the parts of me who think this is bullshit.
Thing 3: A Holiday for the Pirate Queen!
Here’s what I want:
This is embarrassing.
I promised myself a proper vacation after the Shivanautical training I ran in September.
But then there was the September Rally (Rally!) and then the eight day voyage of Crossing the Line and then teaching in Colorado and then the Great Ducking Out .
So basically I’ve been teaching non-stop for months, even though I have already (ahahahaaaaaa) learned the hard way that teaching requires SERIOUS time for assimilation, consolidation and recovery.
And that it’s not enough to just take a few days off but I need to immerse myself in being gone.
The time for this is now.
Before it becomes Emergency Vacation and before my body requires it of me.
Ways this could work:
I have December open.
Shiva Nata could show me some kind of creative, hilarious solution that wouldn’t require a ton of planning but would still be really restorative and awesome.
Oh! Barrington could help!
My commitment.
I am going to interview Barrington and interview Slightly Future Me, and together we are going to find a solution.
Thing 4: The Grand Enthusiastic
Here’s what I want:
As you might have guessed, there is nothing I love more than running Enthusiastics.
I want to do one with some colleagues about my vision for the business, and about 2011 and about 2012. But combined.
Ways this could work:
Maybe as a result of my Pirate Queen Absconding Holiday (which needs an even better name! or a secret agent code name?).
Like, maybe I’ll be so rested and restored and invigorated that the Enthusiastic will just need to happen! And it will be simple and fun.
My commitment.
To enthuse it up!
Thing 5: Ease-filled monster negotiations
Here’s what I want:
There is a thing I need to take care of, and the monsters are dead set against it.
So I want to find out what they need to feel safe, and what their secret mission is.
And I want to resolve this thing so that I can go ahead with my part.
Ways this could work:
Trust. Faith. Practicing.
I can call on some Negotiators.
Also I think metaphor mouse might like to sit in on these sessions as a possible translation assistant. Excellent!
My commitment.
To wear PINK. Because that’s part of the thing being negotiated.
To create shelter and safe rooms for the parts of me who are scared. To remember that now is not then. Now is now, and now is better.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Let’s see!
I wanted a stand for the PLUM (the Playground User Manual), and it turned out that Chuck had one. That was easy. Yay!
Then I wanted consolidation and that happened. Though yes, I could use some more.
I also wanted to make three scary things less scary. Two of them are totally not scary anymore. And I can’t remember what the third one is.
So either I’m the most repressed person in the world, or that got resolved too. Phew.
And then I wanted to practice playing with congruence, and that was most of my week. Oh, thank goodness for the Very Personal Ads because HAPPY SIGH I feel so much better now.
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
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Oh, a proper vacation sounds delightful! And very well deserved.
This week’s ask: Diplomacy
Things have gotten very weird on the work front because the new department chair seems to be antagonizing all the senior faculty. From my perspective, there needs to be some blame sharing because the senior faculty have unreasonable expectations. For example, how do you add more sections of classes if you don’t have classrooms and don’t have instructors? And if you hire adjuncts, the full-time faculty complain that too many classes are being taught by adjuncts. And let’s not forget that the new semester is only 6 weeks away so how much time would a new adjunct really have to prepare properly to teach? Demand exceeds resources. It is that simple.
Of course, I can’t say anything since I’m just a staff member. What do I know as compared to highly educated PhD’s? (sarcasm intended)
Worse, one of the faculty who is having the most clashes with the department chair is my supervisor. Oh, wonderful. I just love being in the middle of a minefield.
What do I want: Diplomacy to navigate the minefield that our department has become.
Ways this could work: I can be supportive and just keep my opinions to myself. I can vent to my husband and best friend – neither of whom have any contact whatsoever with my colleagues. I can remember to pause before I open my mouth!
My commitment: To remember that this is just a storm. It won’t last forever. To remember that I have navigated stickier situations before. To remember that this is about them and not me. To remember that I don’t have to fix everything!
Aaaah I need this so bad!
1. The Number.
I have been panicking about my financial situation. This month is when everything happens. And I mean EVERYTHING. On the suggestion of one of my helper mice, I looked at the numbers and figured out exactly what I need to receive this month to make the things happen. The number I got was X. It’s kind of a scary number. But I’m already finding little pockets of money here and there. So there’s movement. But I still need X.
Ways this could work: My mom and other family members can be more generous and able to help me than I am assuming they are right now.
I can get the GODDAMN JOB oh my god this is so needed.
The money can just appear.
My commitment: To pray for the wisdom to make/receive this money.
To be as business-like as I can be when asking for help.
To repay all my debts, most importantly my debts of gratitude.
To move forward with courage and hope, like Sensei asks.
Best wishes for all our gwishes!
I don’t think I’ve had any contact with, or thought about, secret agents since the Man From Uncle and Get Smart (the series, not the more recent movie), until you mentioned it here. So what do I know about doing things secret-agent style?
So I’m imagining you taking your much-needed vacation using a proxy and a cover story and a code. Like a secret agent posing as a tourist — la la la! I’m just taking pictures of the famous scenery here — but that’s the cover story for scouting locations and opportunities to teach yoga and shiva nata in that location but that’s a proxy for swimming and sunning and sleeping late… which is a cover for something else — but, well, you have to do those things because otherwise your cover would be blown.
My mind is reeling with the idea this is generating for me. Also, remind me sometime to tell you about the James Bond photo shoot.
VPA #1: Iguana removal.
What I want: All year I’ve been trying, with tons of setbacks, to deal with the piles of iguanas, which are mating and multiplying and excreting all over the place, and I’m tired of it, and now the year is nearly over and I don’t want another year like this one so… short of renting a dumpster and shoving everything out the windows, I want to make this happen quickly and effectively.
Ways this could happen:
The Butler could help. He wants to!
I could dedicate a set amount of time per day to this task.
I could have Caroline (my Barrington-person) deal with this.
I could make safe rooms for the parts of me that don’t like this.
I could fix a lovely fruit snack and some champagne for my breaks while I’m working on this.
My commitment:
To do what works.
To listen to an audio book.
To enlist the Butler and Caroline.
To use rewards and prizes.
VPA #2: Handrails
What I want: My brother’s house needs handrails on the front steps and it needs the back steps, which are broken, replaced with something sturdy, also with handrails. They are especially needed for my mother’s frequent visits but also so my husband can safely enter and leave. Right now, two men — brothers or nephews — have to substitute for the missing handrails. I offered to buy the back steps as a gift, and now I need to find something that will work.
Ways this could happen:
Look online.
Call around.
My commitment:
To be clear about what is needed.
VPA #3: Mending fences
What I want: I butted heads with my sister’s husband earlier this year, and this fall there was a real falling out with my husband’s brother’s wife. I don’t know how to mend fences, I don’t know if it is possible, but I don’t want to carry around the remnants of ill feelings that these situations generated.
Ways this could work:
I don’t know. But, since everything is connected, getting rid of the iguana excrement may help me move on this as well.
My commitment:
To be open to possibilities.
To keep myself safe.
Wishing everyone success with their VPAs.
I have not placed a VPA in some time. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want for anything or if I’ve stopped believing in the power of the ask.
What I want is to be vulnerable. Vulnerable enough for someone to love me. Vulnerable enough so that I can love.
My commitment: to stick at wedge in the door of my heart when it creaks open.
What else I want: the perfect right clients to make December and January good months in the financial sense. To move the existing cases through the process. To mail my newsletters.
And: I am working on thinking about some things with regard to my business, and with my new business coach. They are things that stretch beyond where my brain normally goes. I would love to let my brain and courage go there. And to have the financial piece work some how.
Thing 1: This flu + bronchial crap needs to go away.
Ways this could happen:
* more sleep
* more liquids
* less stress
* call or see doc for stronger meds
* staying warm
Sticky things:
* cost and iffiness of meds
* tendency to place To Do items over self-care
* inertia when I feel cold
My commitment:
* to be thoughtful about what I agree to do this week
* to distinguish between Must Do Nows and Want to Do But Can Waits
* to put more thought into staying warm
Thing 2: Getting/staying warm. I have this tendency to shrink into myself, burrow under blankets, etc. when I feel cold instead of taking the steps to get warmer. Which hampers my ability to deal with Things I Want Done and then creates loops of self-loathing and not feeling at home in my own skin.
Ways this could happen:
* create self-care space with space heater
* move long-sleeved/long-legged clothes to more accessible locations
* find more comfortable yet attractive clothes
* recognize the shrinking/burrowing when it’s happening
* boil water
My commitment:
* for now, just the recognizing. And reminding myself that there is nothing so pressing this week that can’t wait for me to look for socks + sweater.
Thing 3: a moisturizing routine I’m happy with
Ways this can happen:
* enacting Thing 2, especially the part about a warm space
* seeding the house with lotions everywhere, so that I have no excuse not to reach for one when I recognize that my skin is uncomfortably dry
* going to bed early enough to spend extra time slathering on some of the stuff
* maybe researching alternatives to my current hodgepodge of lotions and putting them on my wishlist or self-reward list
My commitment for this week:
* being okay with not getting to this one. Let’s start with the getting and staying warm.
Thing 4: meeting the two professional deadlines that really matter to me
Ways this can happen:
* setting minimums for staying on schedule
* tackling them each day before the holiday and household stuffs
* reminding myself that it’s okay to be just ok, especially when working while sick
My commitment for this week: tackling them each day. (There’s a derailment/stuck issue re setting minimums I’m skirting around for the moment.)
Gwishes:
* a non-chalky, non-staining bright red lipstick. Advices welcome on this one.
* ease in replacing my cell phone with one more compatible with my budget and preferences. This is a gwish rather than a VPA because I know what I need to do with this one, and I also need to be okay with not getting around to this this week.
* a cheap but decent haircut. Same situation as the cell phone.
Wishing all y’all the things you are working and wishing for.
I have my canopy of twinkle lights from last week’s VPA! There’s a photo on my blog if you’re curious. 🙂
What I want: to clear out some outstanding energy leaks, like uploading those photos and balancing my checkbook and deciding yes/no about dental coverage.
How this could work: I could just do them. I could pick a day for each item and put them on my calendar. I could find out why I am not doing them. I could (crazily enough) trust that I will do them when the time is right and stop thinking of them as energy leaks.
My commitment: To upload the photos this evening. To flail and ask. To remember that thinking about them is clearly taking more time than doing them.
What I want: the remaining two circles names.
How this could work: They could pop into my head. They could pop onto the (virtual or actual) page. Magic. Serendipity. I could see or read something that inspires me.
My commitment: To dance, flail, rest, write, and replenish. To remember the essence of the project and the love/enthusiasm I have for it. To be curious and expectant.
Sending good wishes for everyone else’s VPAs.
I wish for everyone’s VPAs to be answered with joy and ease!
Update on last week’s VPA:
I wanted to find ways to consistently joyfully move my body. (A less rigid, “should-y” approach to exercise”.) One of my brainstorming ideas was swimming. Lo and behold, there was a pool at the hotel on my business trip! Hooray!
This week’s VPA:
What I want:
I want to find more ways to joyfully move my body and raise my heart rate, and consistently implement those joyful body movements for maximum health.
Ways this could work:
~I could approach this desire with playful curiosity and love, rather than guilt and self-berating.
~I could keep brainstorming more ways that I want to joyfully move my body.
My committment:
~To kindly and calmly refute the voice in my head that says “You should have been exercising on a regular basis for years now! You aren’t getting any younger, you know, and you are overweight!”
~To sit down for a formal but fun brainstorming session with crayons and music and playfulness
~To examine why I am not doing the joyful movement of my body I love the best: folk dance. Is it that the class is too far away? Is it the child care situation? Or are those just rationales that I use to hide a deeper resistance to doing something that truly makes me happy? (Of course, I will commit to examine this very thorny issue with tremendous amounts of self-support, self-love, and self-compassion.)
No VPAs for me right now. Just wanted to say that I love the fact that the Pirate Queen is so very sovereign that she can temporarily Abdicate her throne on Holiday!!
In fact, my sweetheart and I are having a day of Abdication ourselves! Yay!
What do I want?
Choreography. An end to decision fatigue. The next steps to be all laid out for me. All throughout my day – first this, then this, now this, now this, and rest.
What is the essence of this want?
[+ ease]
[+ rhythm]
[+ solidity]
[+ support]
[+ flow]
[+ activity]
[+ productivity]
[+ grace]
How might this show up in my life?
Allowing anxious thoughts and stressful avoidey patterns to be reminders to stop and BeHereNow, to reconnect to my body and my heart and the parts of me that know what to do next.
Having a menu planned so I don’t have a decision to procrastinate. The decision is already made. Maybe not the entire week’s meals, but at least one or two days in advance which might be easier?
A plan of all the In-The-Hard things that
I have toI choose to commit to each day. Written up the day before by my Assistant of Extreme Awesomeness and given to me to review in the morning over my cup of tea.Obviously My AoEA will have left ample gaps in the schedule for napping, thinking, doing nothing, etc. All the things I quick-quick-take-it-now-before-you-have-to-start-DOING-stuff-and-there’s-never-any-time-ever-to-take-a-nap-EVER-AGAIN-because-of-oh-my-god-the-HUGENESS-of-What-Must-Be-Done-and-the-smallness-of-you…. all the things I sneak in, in ample but unsatisfying (because of the sneakiness) doses. SCHEDULE THEM. Commit to them. CLAIM THEM. Asteya. Apariagraha. Satya.
Or rather, maybe nothing so OUTSPOKEN as ‘claiming’ them… just submitting to the schedule that my AoEA has prepared. When the monsters rail at doing these things openly I can just shrug my shoulders and indicate “what can I do? it’s on THE PLAN!”…. (I rather think I’m an opera singing ingenue on tour with a manager who is actually on my side from the sounds of this… or to stick with the original metaphor, I am a prima ballerina with an intensely genius choreographer…. and who am I to question?)
My commitment
To play with BeHereNow when I notice myself in the old stuff.
To play with surrender.
To play with trust. (I mean, this is an intensely GENIUS choreographer making these decisions for me).
To remember that things happen when they happen and all I can do is stay present. That is all I CAN do and all that can be done and therefore all that should be done. Any story that argues with that is fiction and takes me away from BeingHereNow. Presence. Presence. Presence. And in being present I pray without ceasing. Being present is the practice. That is it.
What do I want?
The perfect job for
right nowtomorrow to show up tomorrow. Which I hope will also include some cashmoney coming my way. Please.The job I want is Leela’s job on Sesame Street. She does the service wash at the laundromat in between singing alphabet songs and talking to cute fuzzy monsters. On SESAME STREET.
What is the essence of this want?
[+ simplicity]
[+ colour]
[+ joy]
[+ play]
[+ folding: making things tidy]
[+ separating lights and darks: hello metaphor!]
[+ helping cute fuzzy monsters solve their problems: hahahahaha, I write this here at the Fluent Self? Hilarious]
How might this show up in my life?
I could do colouring with any monsters that show up, for starters!
The couple of possible-work possibilities could just show up really easily.
I don’t know.
VPA Magic.
My commitment
To sing. Sing a song. Sing out loud. Sing out strong. Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad. Just sing… sing a song! (after all, it IS my anthem…)
To reprint my colouring book and pack my pencils in my bag.
To keep my eyes open. Oh, right… PRESENCE. I am hilarious.
xo
@Claire P — Oh, how I love your anthem! “Don’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear…”
I think I just need to thrown things into the pot this week, and let my asking be chaotic for now…
–Money iguanas. I see them, big and green, with dollar signs on their backs. Into the pot!
–I have a dream. A dream of no longer driving 125+ miles three days a week. A dream of having all my work be home-centered and super-flexible, yes, even more flexible than it currently is, not that I’m not grateful for the flexibility I currently have, but more, please. Into the pot!
–Oh, hello, holiday season. I love you and fear you. Joy? Peace? Good will? Please? Into the pot!
–I have a short-term creative project. I want it to sparkle and shine and succeed. Into the pot!
Gwish gwish gwish gwish whoosh! Seasoning, stirring, simmering…breathing…
After a silent retreat period, here I am again…
Right, so, there’s *so much* I seem to want this week it’s almost stressing me out as it feels a bit like a to-do list (ick). Instead, I’m going to make one general ask:
Thing I want: Enough-ness
I would like to approach this week in a way that is conscious of all the things I am working on and with the belief that they all links up somehow (even if I can’t see it yet). I would like to spend this week knowing that I am doing what I can, and that what I can do is enough.
Claire P – I am totally with you in both your wants!
Hoping everyone gets useful stuff out of their asking.
x
Here’s what I want:
Confidence and shine at my boyfriend’s new company Christmas party
Ways this could work:
Make room for all the Monsters who want to talk about how we’re not pretty enough or interesting enough and too young to go. Practice keeping all those scared parts of me safe
My commitment.
Patience, play, snuggles for those parts of me who are screaming “you’re not good enough!!!!” at the top of their damn lungs every 5 minutes.
Oh soooooo scary…
VPA 1:
A few weeks ago my hsuband bounght me a bueatiful new laptop for xmas. I love it. I have been trying to be supercareful and i thought i installed the anti-virus, and then he told me, DOnt worry I installed the anti-virus, it’s all good and then…i got hit with an Error Message of Doom that I need to get ANTIVIRUS now and here’s where I can buy it for 80 bucks but YOU are INFECTED with 30 viruses!!!!! And see, this happened TWICE with my old laptop, that it was overrun and had to have its harddrive wiped and and and
I have to tell the husband tonite and ask for his help. He has already yelled and scolded at me for doing this TWICE before. I have a hrd time believing I’m the only one in the world going to Livejournal and xtube, but aarrrgh! The Shame! The Panic! The Shame and Panic! I am DREADING this conversation but I MUST have it
WTCW:
-This might not be my fault! After all, I turned it over to him on Saturday so he could set up the new network, and He was the one installing stuff
-Even if it is my fault, he might not yell
-If we have to wipe the drive, i have only lost 3 lil things
-at this point, i’m willing to have parental controls placed on my access. i’d rather lose access to online porn than experience the Shame! the Panic! the Dread! of having to tell my husband “i broke my gorgeous new computer by looking at online porn”.
My commitment:
-to tell him tonite and just girl-up and say, I fucked up, here’s how and I need your help…
-to never go where i shouldn’t on the intertubes. because this sucks so very bad
Advice and head-petting is welcome, because I am seriously in a bad place over this.
@Leni — Oh, sweetie! I can so very much relate to this! Both of my partners are more tech-savvy than I am, and the one who usually ends up being available for help when I need it is also the one who’s more inclined to get grouchy and have his stuff come up.
Offering some thoughts since you’ve said they are welcome, but since I’m not there to see what’s happening with your computer, please take them with as many grains of salt as seem appropriate. Is it a pop-up window telling you that you have 30 viruses and need anti-virus? If so, could it possibly be an advertisement, sent by someone who wants you to buy their product but actually has no idea whether your computer is infected or not? Because I know that some websites have lots of pop-up ads, and some of them are really nasty and abrasive. Since your husband says he already installed what you need, maybe you could begin the conversation something like, “I’m really glad you installed the anti-virus, because I got this weird thing that said it was an error message, this is what it looked like and what it said, could that be for real? Is it something I need to worry about?”
Again, just my gut instinct, which only goes so far since I’m not there to see your computer, but this does NOT sound like your fault, and could be nothing to worry about at all! Good luck, and hugs!
1. What I want:
To get everything done this semester, and done mostly well, and done on time. Preferably without me losing a lot of sleep. In particular, my short story due Thursday.
Ways this could work:
Write write write write write!
Do shiva nata, for instance to figure out how my story needs to end.
Ask future me, the me who’s already written the story, how it ends.
My commitment:
Write write write write write!
2. What I want:
A gray sweater open in the front. And I’d rather not give my money to a corporation or anyone involved with child labor, etc.
Ways this could work:
Thrift stores!
I could learn to knit?
My commitment:
To keep my eyes open.
@Leni, honey…. head petting and back rubs… I agree with @Kathleen that it could be a tricky ad designed to freak you out, and also if your partner said he’d taken care of the anti-virus then why would it be your fault that it wasn’t installed properly? If that’s what has happened?
And maybe the best option to avoid this awful shame and terror from here on in is to get some subscriptions to quality, secure, ethical sites that let you relax and enjoy yourself without the accompanying threat of Doom-Bearing Sleazebag Tricksters crashing the party? Free stuff ain’t free if the price is the awfulness you’re feeling now sweetheart.
Hope it all works out okay…. Xxx
Hi everyone! good luck on all your VPAs 🙂
Also @ Leni, my husband killed two computers in a week going to dodgy sites, we bought him a mac and ran it out of the box (ie no separate anti-virals because most viruses are for PCs) and it’s still running beautifully two and a half years later. (also, this was the week before our wedding, when EVERYTHING broke… man that was fun… A/C, fridge, the two computers, the blender…) anyway, I agree with Kathleen, usually those things are ads or things that can activate a virus itself and i would recommend just x-ing out of them.
Thing I Want – time for progress on my goals and stuff. i swear not enough hours in the day. i’ve been making time the last couple weekends to work on school stuff and I want it to carry through for other goals.
WTCW – I keep making time. I find those few minutes here and there and use them for my goal/dream/project/things. i don’t know. things could conspire oddly and i’ll magically have the time 🙂 keep looking for it.
My Commitment – relax and enjoy the time i do have and use it for my projects, and to remember my projects when i do have an odd moment of time.
Last week just asking made many magical things happen, especially IDEAS. I had so many I woke up at 5am one day and had to scribble them all down. Yes!
(1) Thank you Kathleen, “money iguanas” is just the phrase for my first ask.
My projected expenditures this month are between $66 and $200 more than I’ve got. Even if I ignore the big-picture concerns about managing money badly, I still have to figure out some way to make it to payday!
Ways this could work:
My eBay stuff could sell, like, immediately. Or soon.
Likewise craigslist.
My tuition reimbursement could come sooner than planned.
I could be able to keep going-out expenses lower than predicted.
Some glorious combo of all of the above!
It could all happen in tandem to such a degree that I can buy a plane ticket before the 12th.
My commitment:
To keep selling stuff!
To say Angie’s ridiculous slogan from 30 Rock: “It’s my way til payday.”
(1b) New long-term perspective on money.
Clearly budgeting everything to the cent while also frequently buying things not in the plan is not an approach that actually works. Furthermore, trying to do every money-management fix at the same time is a recipe for paralysis and failure. I need a new plan and a new way of dealing with the whole thing.
Ways this could work:
-Make bigger “miscellaneous” categories instead of tiny sub-expenses, but “prohibit” more things? (Clothes, eBay, furniture, takeout.)
-Put a 30-day hold on purchases (which would rule out ebay and craigslist nicely, but oh!!), or only shop during the last week of the month.
-I could work on these improvement projects one at a time: pay down the credit cards before I establish an emergency fund before I pay off miscellaneous debts before I start putting away for retirement before I pay off my loans.
-I could get more clarity about the imagined/real? regret I’m warding off by buying things instead of letting them go.
My commitment:
To spend some time with the future numbers.
To spend some time with the past numbers.
To consider what would happen if I really couldn’t or didn’t buy anything, even if it was useful and/or a total steal!, for a while.
(2) To get my school mojo back.
Ever since Thanksgiving, I cannot think about school. I can only think about holiday parties and outings and fun projects and gift shopping. I need to get back into the groove immediately, because I have 7 days to write a final paper that I want to be REALLY good, plans on more than one of the 7 days left, tons of shit going on at work, and am co-throwing a party this weekend.
Ways this could work:
-I could cut commitments that aren’t really that important–one outing between now and Thursday, for example.
-I can postpone holiday stuff–safely, I have calculated–until this paper is done.
-I could do 30 minutes of work on it and get totally into the groove by accident.
-I could be magically able to divine what un-done reading is relevant and what isn’t so I can target my efforts.
-I can find it as easy as I did during midterms to just write stuff down.
My commitment:
To repeat to myself my boyfriend’s wise point that this paper is on some level meant to test what I’ve learned in the course, not my intelligence or originality.
Glitter and trumpets for everybody’s wishes and asks!
To everyone who’s heading into the cold and flu season, like Mechaieh there’s this very cool remedy of using warming socks. It’s very, very cozy and nurturing. http://www.naturopathyonline.com/warming_socks_treatment.htm
Not telling anyone what to do, but it never hurts to have another tool against illness. 🙂
My VPA is to have the courage to make a VPA. I’ve had this fear about saying what I want since childhood since what I wanted was kinda used against me. Nothing horrible, but I’m a little sensitive, and get scared off easily.
I’m relieved to have started my editing business for creative/entrepreneur types, but I’m also scared of failure, like not making it work, or doing all the trumpeting to announce the party only to have no one show up.
What I can do:
–Contact my peeps anyway, and move forward. The holiday season is busy anyway.
–Keep writing on the blogs, which makes me very happy.
–Love my dudes and the holiday season.
Here’s to a lovely vacation, Havi!
Invoking VPA Amnesty!
I planted secret gwishes but I want to put some out here
1. Preparing
I have a meeting coming up – I would like to prepare ‘in the soft’/ in the batcave and feel confident before going in.
2. Creative thinking time.
My projects need some rearranging and some work – again I’d like to do most of this work ‘softly’, quietly, thoughtfully.
Happy gwishes all around!