Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Thing 1: the right words
Here’s what I want:
The Playground — the center I opened where I teach all the stuff we do here on the blog — needs some signs about turning off cell phones and things like that.
The right wording for the signs is what I want.
I’m imagining that it will be:
- descriptive, not prescriptive
- clear and sovereign
- harmonious and congruent with Playground culture
- not cheesy and without implied finger-wagging.
Ways this could work:
Let’s see.
I could write up some rough drafts and let them be terrible, and run them by my Kitchen Table program or my Board of Surprisers.
Maybe something along these lines:
Since the Playground is an especially peaceful space to be, we are working on a practice of quieting phones and other things that beep.
Or
You are about to enter an exceptionally peaceful place. Things you could do to prepare for this: take a breath, check your force field, switch off things that buzz and squeak.
Except not that. But something in that direction.
What else? I can dance on it, sleep on it, walk on it and wait for it.
My commitment.
To remember that there is no rush.
And that each incarnation of how things might be said is getting me closer to the one that will feel right.
Thing 2: resolution
Here’s what I want:
The heating at the Playground is not working. Again.
Apparently the entire heating system needs to be replaced, which is a giant production and may take a few weeks.
The owner of the building has gotten us some temporary space heaters and such, but this whole thing is a pain.
I want it to get sorted in a way that is peaceful, comfortable and actually solves the problem.
Ways this could work:
Absolutely no idea.
But I’m sure there is all sorts of aspects/elements of it that intersect with my stuff, and that’s the part I can work on.
My commitment.
To spend time in the Playground meditating on this.
To get some advice and suggestions from my mentors.
Thing 3: another name for something.
Here’s what I want:
Okay. So I have this binder of stuff I’m working on.
It’s current name is not working for me.
R&D, blah blah. Research and development, blah blah.
I either need a fun thing that R&D could mean, or another name altogether.
Ways this could work:
Brainstorming day!
Raisins & Daisies?
Rubix Cubes & Deconstruction?
Ridiculousness & Deviousness?
Suggestions are welcome, the sillier the better.
Oh, and I can metaphor mouse it, of course.
My commitment.
To not rush this.
That seems to be kind of a theme today.
Trust, patience, play.
Thing 4: I have a problem that needs a lot of love.
Here’s what I want:
To figure out ways to give myself and this situation as much love and attention and appreciation as I can, without working on it directly.
Ways this could work:
A proxy, of course!
My commitment.
To not avoid the pain and not poke at the pain and not force myself to be in the pain.
But to be at the very outer edges of the pain, and acknowledge how damn hard it is.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
The first thing I wanted was noise isolating headphones. Got a ton of suggestions (thank you!), though most of them were for noise-canceling, which is the kind that doesn’t help my particular problem.
Still trying to figure out which ones to buy. But since I’m at a cafe right now hating the people behind me who are both loud and boring, this is clearly a priority.
So maybe my new ask should be more along the lines of figuring out what needs to happen, for me to go ahead with this.
The next thing was fairy lights for the Playground. Luckily, Casey volunteered some and Sonia gave a useful link. Thank you!
Then we wanted to fill a Shiva Nata teacher training spot that had opened up, and that happened quickly and easily.
The last thing was about trust. That was a huge theme this week, and I think we made some progress on that. Still in flux, but feeling good about it. Yes. Good.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! I’m so happy to have people doing this with me.
Follow
Update on last week!:
I was late writing this because a) I rely of Havi to remind me; and b) I was wondering if it was even worth it. I decided that the only way to know was to read last week and see if I even got anything I wanted.
So I did.
I got every last thing.
This week!
Thing 1: New rituals
What I would like: Ease in creating new patterns and rituals for myself. I miss my martial arts, dammit. I miss feeling good. I really want to get that back soon.
Ways it could happen:
It just could.
I could get insight from somewhere.
I could read something impactful.
My commitment:
To keep my eyes and ears open for patterns.
To not be hard on myself if it doesn’t fall into place immediately.
To remember nonviolence and self-love in general.
Thing 2: Resolved feelings
What I would like: I’m doing a thing, but I don’t know if I want to do the thing. But the thing sounds like fun. So, I want answers.
Ways it could happen:
Shiva Nata.
Talking. Looking. Listening.
Labyrinths.
Being open to change.
My commitment:
To be gentle.
To use Emergency Calming Techniques.
Thing 3: Ease with things
What I would like: My thing is a little choppy and uncertain. I’d like to smooth some edges out.
Ways it could happen:
I could talk to it.
And me.
And Slightly Future Me.
I could map out what it is I’m trying to do, and what I’m wanting from my thing.
My commitment:
To rest as much I need.
To not push, me or my thing.
I don’t normally do these asks, because I kind of don’t always get them. I like reading people’s, but I have had trouble envisioning how this practice could apply to me. It occurred to me recently that I could ask for things. Whoa. A bit behind the 8-ball on this one.
My ask is that I find a satisfying and peaceful way of thinking about repaying my student loans. I currently make a HUGE, MONSTROUSLY LARGE payment every month, and whenever I see that MAMMOTH amount deducted from my checking account, I feel irritated and robbed. Almost still in denial that I have such steep student loan debt.
This will likely take me a while to get through, but I want to start by not having such a negative reaction to the checking account deduction. I will start by acknowledging that yes, while this is a large sum, I can afford it. I won’t allow myself to speculate on what would happen if I lost my job and could no longer pay. I will just be present and breathe, and say, yes, I can afford this right now. And I still live well, much better than I did as a grad student.
The next step is harder, as it involves acknowledging all the good that was part of going to grad school and getting my PhD. All that means. Which I’m still conflicted about. So my overarching ask is that I find a way to understand the significance of the PhD and try to wrap that into the payment. Or something like that. Crap, this is going to be hard, and may not even be the best approach. Suggestions welcome!
Hi Havi — first R+ D thought that popped into my head– Resurgence + Devilment
or Renaissance + Delight
or perhaps ReInvention and Destuckification 🙂
hugs,
Paula
Hi
Remarkable Deliberations
Reindeer + Dragonflies
🙂 Katherine x
Rum and Dinero 😉 Good for a PirateQueen!
Romp and Discover?
My VPA:
To complete three writing projects this week, and to do this with ease, grace, lightness and play.
My commitment:
To keep it simple. To invoke the Devas of these qualities and ask for their help as I write. To stop when my shoulders rise!
Wishing you all the magical fulfillment of your VPAs.
Love, Hiro
Thing 1: to rededicate myself to getting fit.
I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. Not the unhealthiest, for which I am thankful, but I would like to be fitter and foxier instead of wallowing in nostalgia for my 2001 form.
Ways this could happen:
* less sugar, less stress-noshing, fewer impulse/fear-of-famine buys
* work up the nerve to use the gym membership voucher I bought back in November
* comfier, warmer workout clothes? — persuade myself that it’s an okay expense when it’s for my health — but hold off hunting for them (see Thing 2)
* find a new battery for the pedometer, but probably not this week (see Thing 2)
Thing 2: to stay focused on this week’s must-dos, aka not letting myself get derailed by pennies and gnats and other people’s shoulds/stresses/shoes
Ways this could happen:
* less time online = less exposure to distractions
* let go of delusions of grandeur/necessity, at least for a week, by remembering (via writing and rereading this) that it isn’t all up to me to provide support/maintenance for these relationships, and I’m sure some (possibly many) of these people are as tired of my incessant whining/fatigue/overwhelm as I am
Thing 3: to produce an image that my collaborator on Project S will like, in time for the submission deadline
Ways this could happen:
* playing with the props I’ve already gathered
* riffing off art books/magazines for composition ideas/tips
* remembering that I can take along pencils and other mark-making supplies if I just don’t get to this before I have to hit the road, and thus do not need to panic about focusing first on Thing 2.
Wishing everyone warmth and space and help with their asks!
De-lurking…yikes!
On the R&D ad – research and development is basically Science! Yes? Involving Experiments! So possibly Science Experiment #2468 or something like that.
Or, if you want to keep a play on the initials, I have Ring a Ding Special floating around my head for some reason.
There is no rush.
I have been working on making this a personal refrain of mine.
So VPA is:
1. To (heart) remember that there is no rush. None at all. And to be able to accept ease and spaciousness when they appear.
Ways this could happen: more sitting in meditation. Exercise (but gently since I am coldish)
Snuggles with The Girl
Tonglen
FUN!!! / Play!!!
2. Make progress on closing my law practice. (As in not avoid it entirely for yet another week / month / etc)
Ways this Could happen
NO CLUE!
Shiva Nata?
Journaling?
epiphany??? =D
There is no rush.
There is no rush.
No.
Rush.
Re: signage: Something perhaps along the lines of “Shh! Your tiny, sweet thing is sleeping inside…please turn off any loud jangly things so it can wake gently!”
? Could work.
Ooo, my VPA is a doozy this week. I have been saving them all up so I could have one big ask:
I have rented a studio in my beloved Asheville for six months, and am leaving in 7 days! I would like to be able to afford it and not be spending all my angel sweetie’s money.
I would like a p/t job that uses my talents and enthusiasm for that most wonderful town, maybe at the Chamber of Commerce or on one of the tour buses or something? I would also like flexibility so I can make and sell hats and the groovy vintage stuff I’ve been amassing lately.
I will Apply Myself and sell chapeaux and volunteer and talk to everyone as my commitment; there are a myriad of ways this could work and I just need a peaceful packing and departing scenario so I can be there and get it going! Thanks in advance, Universe. Mwah!
WOOOOO! Love to all.
My VPA’s from last week are still humming along, and making good progress! (Speaking of humming, I woke up this morning humming the tune to Haul away, Joe. 🙂
This week!
First thing: More movement in home sanctuarizing. Discovering some big patterns here, so this is also kind of a stand-in for movement with other things.
Ways it might happen:
-I could order those prints Elizabeth showed me.
-I could keep having flashes of what I think I want. (Thank you, flashes!)
My commitment:
-To order those candles.
-To play with congruence and my resistance to it.
-Convo with the Me who is agile AND happily cocooned.
-To jot down notes about the flashes.
Second thing: Spending more time in creative play.
Ways it might happen:
-Other less fruitful things could suddenly become boring.
-I could let it happen organically, follow whims.
My commitment:
-Playdate
-A tiny bit every day
Third thing: To write that one specific kind of blog post.
Ways it might happen:
-Without pressure or pushing myself, unless it’s a satisfying stretch of a push.
My commitment:
-Shiva Nata
-Browse blog seeds and plant more
-To write an embarrassingly bad SFD of something, anything
Happy wishing to all!
Rubies + Diamonds? Pirate treasure!
R & D
sounds like
R ‘n D
made me think of
Rainbows In Development
Beautiful plans and ideas being built out of sunshine and raindrops 🙂
One big VPA for this week…
Wanted: one house, within our budget. 4 bedrooms (3 need to be double); a kitchen big enough to do lots of cooking in and have a table so people can sit around in there, and that has a gas pipe into it; a living-room with space for all of us to hang out; somewhere to store the bikes. And a garden out back, for the Sidney-dog to wander round and for me to grow veggies in. Our ideal house is on a quiet road, and it’s within five minutes’ walk of where we live now, in Bermondsey. It’s light, and it feels good when we walk into it. If it needs a bit of work doing on it, that’s OK as long as it’s a bit cheaper so there’s wiggle-room in the budget.
We will live in it and love it and make it into a home. Also the Sidney-dog will shed hair all over it, which is how she demonstrates her affection.
And I would love for it just to… happen. For the right house to appear, and for us to make an offer, and for it to be accepted, and for everything to be smooth.
How this could happen:
– something could come up on the property websites.
– someone could mention something to a friend who mentions… the grapevine route.
– I could think of another way to make this work (find out who owns that empty house round the corner? look at 2-bed flats to see if any of them are secretly half-a-house and both available? something else I haven’t thought of yet?).
– something else. I’m open to happenings!
My commitment:
– To stay calm about this.
– To allow time for it to happen.
– To keep looking.
– To keep thinking of alternative solutions.
*sends thought-tendrils out to houses everywhere*
well my on going ads for clients and a man are receiving some replies, so we’ll keep those up.
Updates: Bikini roto stuckness is a little less stuck. I opened letters and looked at stuff and didn’t puke or die. I’m also open to other ways this could be resolved through unexpected good things or some big chunks of new client goodness.
I want my body to stop wanting to eat everything in sight. It has calmed down. It knows that bananas and pears drizzled with almond butter are heavenly, just as the shrimp carbonara and pomegranate martini are heavenly. And everything in between. And it knows that to every nom there is season and a time for every nom under heaven.
This week:
I would like engagement by clients. Just the ones I want. With cash money dolla dolla bills. And then some more.
Taxes. Yes. I would like to get all mucked up in the Tax Garden, turn the soil, pick up the worms, throw out the rocks, see what died last year, what should be planted again, what new things we might put in to make our garden pretty and productive and pleasant.
And even though I didn’t VPA it, the most blessed cold arrived last week bringing with it snow storms which meant that I went home on Tuesday afternoon and did not leave the house again until Friday. I lazed, and wrote, and napped and read and had the most heavenly days you can have when the Ice Pick of Doom is lodged in your skull.
Hi, VPA friends.
Rainbows and Dykes! Just a thought. I got a liiiittle excited there.
My VPA: The appropriate nourishment for me and my body.
How this could happen: I could figure out what I’m hungry for (spiritually + physically), and I could obtain that.
I could have the patience to not pounce on something until I’m clear that it’s what I need.
I could find kind ways to allow myself to be in the discomfort.
My commitment: To journal. To do lots of body-moving. To go to acupuncture. To sit with it as much as I can.
Happy sailing this week, everyone!
Hi sweeties
Again I am hoping to observe my mood swings at work and to hope that I can wake up feeling rested and positive. I am definitely far less grumpy since the week previous. Yayyyy and am noticing how well I am ticking along at work and shifting my way of looking at it as a temporary stop gap that I don’t really want – to an okay to good place to be right now that serves me and is helping me to grow.
I would like more good sleeps please. And more of the same techniques as last week and seeing if I can release any beating-up-on myself-for-not-sleeping seems the best route. I am committed to noticing.
I want to destick a stuck around the little book of safety and hope I am writing. I will look at whether I need to feel more rewarded as I write and how this might happen.
I need to consider whether it just needs to be more fun, magical, ease-full for me period. I am going to keep watching, observing, exploring the stuff as it comes up.
Questions here around: Rituals? Rewards? Ease?
I would like to sit with all the ideas I have for tiny products of love.
Video Postcards from Me dancing, acting, creating. Themes love, hope, connection, disconnection, shame, the body.
And letters in the posts from me which include my draft monologues on beautiful pieces of paper. Purple with glitter and love!
I need to let these ideas settle and figure out if this is just a distraction from the little workbook above or an idea that appeals because I can manage to execute with more ease, fun, me-ness.
I need to take one day at a time and be gorgeous to myself. I am going to speak kindly to myself. I am going to breathe. I am going to do a tiny bit of exercise. I am going to notice that I have a body.
What I want:
– a well-priced apartment in the right location. Ease of finding it.
– Ease with grad school applications.
– Ease with getting the references I need.
– And then, to get into one or more of my top choices.
Ways this could happen:
– I could apply. And ask. But also, serendipity could maybe help.
My Commitment:
– To do more yoga, which makes other things much easier. To start shiva nata again. And to take the time to enjoy what’s awesome right now. To not spend time on superfluous things that don’t bring me happiness, relaxation, or productivity.
This week – I would really really pretty please with a cherry on top like to pay attention to my hydration and nutrition. Which is something that I find terribly difficult to do because there are always things that seem much more interesting and urgent to focus on.
What I Want: No sugar, white flour, or dairy this week. 1.5-2L water each day. Focus on getting lots of nutrients from plants.
Ways This Could Work: I could remember to bring my lunch to work. I could make my way to Jamba Juice for fresh wheatgrass shots. I could eat breakfast at home…for once. I could journal my food choices each day to help me stay focused.
My Commitment: To love myself, and remember that good nutrition is an expression of that love. To be curious about new healthy foods and and allow myself to explore. To be inquisitive about my current eating habits, and be honest with myself about the short and long-term consequences.
Rumination and Discovery?
Anyhoo. My own Very Personal Ad:
1. Something about money and fear.
I have to apply for some grants and SOON (they’re due) but this is a big source of fear and anxiety for me. So I want some comfort or a force field or something that will help me do what I need to do without getting completely caught up in the multiple forms of AVOIDANCE and PILING that could come up here.
Things I could try:
Parallel Play with my houseguest and study partner makes almost everything less terrifying.
Chocolate. And Good Earth Original herbal tea.
Teeny tiny steps.
2. Hot Pink
I’ve been needing hot pink things in my life lately. I’ve even found some that I’ve happily tacked up in my room, and I’ve noticed others around me belonging to other people, which I have simply admired. In my head the baby steps I take on my project are flanked on both sides by hot pink hammocks into which I can (gracefully or exhaustedly) collapse. So I want more hot pink. Especially of the billowy or soft and squishy variety.
Things I could try:
Keep keeping my eyes peeled. Hot pink gleams from a surprising lot of corners.
Fabric store sales and the $1 section at Target. Artesia.
Imagining my Half Dome Ladder of baby steps and its hot pink trim of mental hammocks. If there isn’t any actual hot pink around, imagining it helps quite a bit.
Hi! First time here, and can’t resist joining in.
I would like…
A new name for my blog that reflects who I am and what I would like to say, so that I can begin to communicate clearly and with congruence from an online space I unabashedly adore.
I have been looking and striving and forcing this to come, and it hasn’t yet, so maybe I need to let go and wait, and be gentle with myself. (With this and in general.)
Rum & Dinero gets my vote! Romp & Discover is also a very close second.
Why do I always get teaching evaluations back on a day when nothing is going well to begin with? Obviously, they were less than stellar. No surprise as I’m doing the full-time jobs of 2 people and trying to fully participate in my doctoral program so that I get done on schedule. I obviously cannot give maximum effort on all fronts and the teaching was the front that didn’t get my full attention the last 2 semesters (I have an administrative position).
My Ask:
To be able to look objectively at my evaluations and consider what my strengths are (there are some!) and what areas need more work (I know there are plenty as I’m pretty green as an instructor having had no formal training).
How will I do this:
Pick a day when I’m not so stressed (there has to be one, right?) to look over the evaluations and lay out clear course objectives (one of my weaknesses). Then decide what activities will support those objectives. To think about where my passion for the subject matter lies and how to bring that forth into the classroom. I know I am a much more effective instructor when I can let my passion shine through. Review the revisions that I proposed for my summer class as part of a project for the doctoral program. There are good ideas there that were reviewed by seasoned instructors. Now I just need to implement them.
My commitment:
To remember that I am not superwoman. To remember that each day only has 24 hours. To remember that I do a better job on all fronts when I get proper rest. To remember that while I can improve, I will never be perfect.
My second ask:
To continue the elimination of junk food from my diet that began when I got sick last week for the third time in one year. I know my poor diet is a contributing factor.
How I will do this:
Making sure that I have non-junk alternatives available. To remind myself of how crappy I feel when I’m sick and how much it impacts my productivity and quality of life.
My commitment:
To remember that good health is a gift, not a given. To remember that I will have to work at this everyday. To remember that there will be slips but they don’t have to be permanent relapses.
radical and dastardly!
This is my folder of Ridiculous Deliciousness (mmmmmmm four syllables in each word!). Everything in this folder is Ridiculously Delicious. I am working out the perfect Recipes of Delight and having a grand time Rolling ‘Round and Describing them.
VPA.
Thing 1: clearer boundaries.
I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries, about expectations and capacity, about space and time and energy and how to allocate it. About how to decide where the limits are. And how to communicate them.
And how I am entitled to have them but have been very bad at setting them, or communicating them, or defending them, or honouring them.
So I’m asking for the things I need to present themselves so I can do this better: time, space, practices, resources.
I commit to being mindful and aware.
And playful.
To remembering that these boundaries exist in and of themselves and don’t require any effort from me for them to exist, they just do. I am a sovereign being, so are the people and projects around me.
I commit to exploring them so that I can better understand where and how they exist, what helps me remember and honour them, and what happens to me, people and projects around me and my energy when they’re breached or fuzzy.
Thing 2: courage and trust in the face of conflict.
The number one reason I’ve been bad at defining, acknowledging and communicating my boundaries is because I am afraid of conflict. No, I am afraif of the CONSEQUENCES of conflict. Banishment to the outer edges of the galaxy figuring prominently among them. Also slightly less extravagant forms of fear of abandonment, rejection, loneliness etc.
I would like what I need to have courage, trust and faith in the face of conflict (or potential conflict) to present itself to me.
I commit to being curious, mindful and aware.
I would like to commit to being playful with this too, but the fear sits heavy with me which makes that hard.
I think I can commit to allowing myself to hate it and to being afraid of it, for now.
I can also commit to remembering and reminding myself that this is a temporary part of a very long journey, that it won’t always be like this and I won’t always be afraid of it. That I will get to the other side of the river.
I commit to keep on wading, slowly, step-by-step, resting when I need to catch my breath, in faith.
Oh god….. how deep are these asks? Deep. I’ll therefore ask for one last thing.
Thing 3: (to stretch the metaphor, which I do so love to do!) life-jackets, floaties, rafts, rope bridges, lifelines, stepping stones and other things to help me and support me across the river. Swimming lessons. Superpowers. Grace.
Cx
Oh I am always late to the party, because…well, because I’m on a funky schedule in a far away time zone.
So VPAs!
1. The House! Has gotten a kick in the pants unexpectedly. I would love to have spaciousness and ease around its sale. We need a buyer (small sweet house, coast of Maine, passive solar and wood heat, land, water access!). And then we need it to just work like a feather blowing across the beach.
How this could work: magic. Joy. Hope.
My commitment: to trust the process and talk to the lawyer.
2. The conference! I’m going to present. It’s complicated, but I am so excited. My request: more spaciousness and ease. And a magic plane ticket.
How this could work: Magic! Already I have had spaciousness and ease around blurbifying and bio-writing. Next: asking for a Saturday AM slot so I’m awake.
my commitment: to include the time request in the next email. To talk to people and get input and help.
3. the special thing that is kind of sekret.
How it could work: frequent flier miles. clients. And joy.
commitment: to keep saying yes. to talk to Julie. to keep breathing.
Radicchio (little root) & doublemint – the iris, not the gum
So last week, I wanted to meet a self-imposed end of month deadline or to be ok not meeting it. I met it with no caveats with 59 minutes to spare which felt pretty awesome. Then I crashed the next few days throwing off the rest of the week which made me think perhaps I need to find a way to make deadlines soft or to accept the rest I need after pushing myself. Still mulling that one over.
In the meantime, a gentle way of telling my mom the doctor she suggested may not be the one for me would be good. He’s only been out of residency a year and half and he went to school in the Caribbean. Not necessarily bad things, but they do give me pause. Think I’m still under the impression that doctors should be older than I am. Also, he’s a dude which is not what I had in mind.
Granted I’ve put off the search for ages making only sporadic calls (phone calls, argh!) to people who inevitably aren’t taking any new patients. Lots of… stuck doesn’t really cover it… when it comes to doctors. So help with that would be good to.
Breathe. Just writing/thinking about it stresses me out. I made one doc appointment for this year already which was a huge freakin’ deal. sigh.
Best wishes to everyone’s VPAs!
When I read your personal ad for a sign an image popped into my head of a monster with a bubble over his head saying “Cellphones? Here? Seriously?”
Anyway, I thought it was funny, so I shared…
And since I’m already here: Roots & Daydreams.
I’m feeling kind of tired, tangled and twisted as far as the big wishes are concerned, and that tells me that this is a week for a tiny gwish.
What I want:,/b> A new soap dish.
Because this is going to live on my bathroom sink and be a part of my daily environment, I want it to be very well crafted and aesthetically satisfying. I am a firm believer in having everyday things that lift my spirits whenever I encounter them.
How this can happen: I can poke around online and in local stores, patiently exploring until the right one comes along. Or maybe someone will have a suggestion for me!
My commitment: To be open. To create space for more pleasure and self-care in my life.
Wording for sign?
Play is primo here! Please turn off all devices that beep, buzz, whirr or cha-cha.
VPA ad 1:
Be gorgeous to myself. (Thanks, Leila!)
Going through graduate-level type spiritual challenges of late, and it’s very easy for me to dwell on the idea that I should be handling them better. When it comes right down to it, the guilt and self-abuse really isn’t helping, so I’m shifting to the nurturing part. Trying to take a cue from your two-year-old day, Havi, and considering what sweetness or comfort I really want instead of reaching for the M&Ms.
Ways this could work:
Beautiful clothes, yummy lotions, good food eaten sitting down, flowers (for me!), laughter, breathing, not rushing, flowing.
My commitment:
Stopping to breathe for a few minutes. Noticing when I’m getting frantic. Making self-care a priority each morning.
VPA 2:
Building a culture of nurture and care at home that energizes all of us.
Hot Husband has been very stressed at work for months and is near the breaking point. I’ve been struggling to emotionally support him, myself and our three boys. I need a new way of thinking about the whole situation that doesn’t scream “stress!” Building something seems far more exciting than worrying about reacting. Being perfect. Wondering if I’ve done enough to be worthy.
Ways this could work:
Getting outside, noticing what makes us all laugh, taking a family survey about what works for everyone.
My commitment:
To keep noticing in a spirit of playfulness and curiosity.
Many thanks for the encouragement and the biggified thoughts!
Pirate name suggestion for R & D book: Yo Ho Ho!
Pirate sign for playground: ARRRRR…cell phones walk the plank!
You know those curious labels on old hand drawn ocean maps? HERE BE DRAGONS? I keep imagining signs around the playground that look like that. Old parchment. Sepia ink. Elaborate hand lettering.
“HERE BE DRAGONS! Dragons that need their sleep. Please turn off all beeping, squeaking things (like cellphones) that might disturb them.”
“HERE BE DRAGONS! Dragons that like to eat things that beep, ding, and ring. Things like cellphones. Protect your property! Mute is our friend.”
Or more simply, less threatening:
“HERE BE CALM WATERS! You’re now entering a cellphone free zone.”
But @Ilana’s monster suggestion really cracked me up!
Ha! A client actually paid me in cash today! Thanks superspeedy and literal VPA!
Rummaging & Doodling? Sort of keeps the meaning of ‘Research & Development’ but with more playful words. Plus they’re just good to say. Rummage, rummage, rummage, doodle, doodle, doodle.
Also, I really like your second idea for sign wording. I know that may be non-helpful since you’ve said not that, but something involving the phrase ‘take a breath, check your force field, switch off things that buzz and squeak’ would be awesome 🙂
Last week’s VPAs:
#1: Still being patient with the thyroid. Patient. Patient. This is me being patient.
#2: I got a good start on the index and wrote a blog post about it.
This week:
#1: Move smoothly forward on some scary parts of starting my new business, like deciding what to charge and writing website copy.
How this could work: I could start and it could be way easier than I thought. I could decide to get help.
My commitment: To not avoid. To start from the place where I know I’m amazing and want to share that.
#2: To live calmly with the money fears. To let them flow into energy for new businesses.
How this could work: (total blank) More meditation, probably.
My commitment: To take quiet time.
#3: This feels like a big one. I want to spend more time in the deep creative places below my wordy writing listmaking mind. To have openings for mystery.
How this could work: I could find concrete ways to build it in to my daily life. Thinking about it is easy (see wordy writing listmaking mind above). Find ways to actually do it.
My commitment: To brainstorm actual ways. To take one step. Clear off art table? Change view from contemplation chair in my room? Schedule?
Whew.
By the way, I want to say how much I love reading other people’s VPAs. Everything we’re all working on, and the creative and insightful ways people are working on it, inspires me. Thank you.
VPA 020711
Updates: I got 2 of the 3 I asked for, yay. Beautiful workout clothes are on the way to try on and decide if I love (Title 9). Had amazing coaching sessions including new understanding and deep insight into a long-time client. Did not shoot my videos but worked on the outline. Plus the cold and snow kept the child home and put the city into a state of emergency. Just sayin.
#1 Videos in the can
What I want: To have shot and edited videos 1 and 2 in my free series. So I can breathe deep and smile and think about other things. So that I can stop thinking about and planning a video series and actually have one.
Ways this could work: I could shower (so I look pretty), review my outline without obsessing or needing to make it perfect and shoot the darn thing already. I could shoot it now without showering or putting on makeup, wearing the cute hat I bought yesterday with the cool colors and the smooshy flower. I could realize that if I hate, hate, hate what I shoot, I can reshoot or change what I say. I could send myself lots of love for the tricky moment when I stop dreaming about how cool something will be and actually give what I have in this moment. I could remember that doing 15 minutes of video for me is like breathing. I could move into the space of sharing love and “embodying elevated consciousness” into the video shoot. I could decide that making videos is fun.
My commitment: Shoot one today, preferably in the next hour.
#2. More friends to affiliate and congregate and help me spread the word.
What I want: To both connect to the support that is already out there for me and to have fun reaching out to more people who can reach the people who really need my product. To unravel my old patters of fearing disappointing people.
Ways this could work: I could email the R&D fans and ask them to hop on board. I could ask them who they know who should know. I could ask the December buyers if they want to help. I could check in with everyone who said they would help so I remember they are there already. I could have fun calling and emailing people who don’t really know me because my info product is so wonderful and will help so many people, if only they know about it. I could make the day expand and have more hours in it.
My commitment: Make my videos first so the thing I am talking about feels real.
#3. Love and Compassion for myself.
Ways this could work: I could stop playing doom music in my head or playing pictures of blow-up disasters around my launch.
My commitment: Breathe. Read the poem Lost if I can find it, or say Love after Love until I do.
In the pirate/nautical context, research and development calls to mind a few images – plying your acquaintances with rum in a seedy tavern, poring over old maps, scanning the horizon in the crow’s nest, antique hand-held telescopes, Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s crazy compass…
Narrowing it down:
Research = finding/buying/stealing/ a treasure map
Development = laying out a course to the treasure
so…..
Maps & Navigation
or, to be silly:
Rum & Dice
I should post this before I get too shy and turn back into a Lurker Mouse
For R&D, how about
Radiance & Dreaming?
Ok, delayed VPA in the scant hope someone may see this:
Awesome summer project: Chicago Tinkering School.
Need: a home. Joshua, coordinator out here, can describe it best-
http://chicago.tinkeringschool.com/the-perfect-space/
This would be so good on so many fronts….
If not the way I or he expect, that is cool too, we are open to ideas and unique solutions!
Post here, or better yet, post on the blog or email Joshua!
xoxo!
Ingrid
Your recent spy metaphor has me thinking in that vein, so I came up with Reconnaissance… not sure what the best D to go with that is, though.
Of course, I post and then another word shows up. Spies and detectives go together nicely, so Reconnaissance & Detection? Detectiving? Something along those lines, perhaps.
It has been far too long since I’ve participated in a VPA post-n-comment and I am sorely feeling the need. Before I do, though…
For R&D? Once I have negative associations for an acronym they’re all but impossible for me to shed, so in the spirit of getting Your Own Thing I suggest titling that binder “Mudpies.” Or “Cloudcastles.”
My VPAs this week…
1) Space ohgracious space.
Right now I am in a horrid bit of flux on a number of levels and life-arenas, and I am feeling the edges of the boundary between my introverted self and my extroverted self wearing dangerously transparent. I desperately need a long period of selfspace but lo, the weather outside is frightful, and inside is just too jumbled and full of otherness, even when I’m alone.
Ways it could work: The weather could get unseasonably warm. The next few weeks could feel like they’ll fly by. Someone could offer a studio space. I could find a good dancing venue.
My Commitment: Patience. More time engaging the dog. Sleep. Dance in the lobby.
2) A better apartment.
I thought I had a very good apartment lined up for April, but as I am putting together my application, now it is looking as though I won’t be able to afford it. I’m looking for something close to our park for leash-free dog running and exercise, with enough room for when the beloved comes to live with me.
Ways it could work: the principle of stumbleupon. Asking friends and neighbors. Finding an excellent and cheap broker.
My Commitment: Writing out my wants in exquisite specificity. Research research.
3) I want to know what I really want to do.
This one is hard. Surprisingly hard. I’m just going to leave it at this.
Ways it could work: Revelation. Dreams. Puzzle-boxes.
My Commitment: Again, writing out my wants in exquisite specificity. Looking at all the things I’m good at.
Sending tons of solution-vibes to everyone, and a happy mid-Feb weekend!