Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Progress on the Playground website.
Here’s what I want:
We’re making a special website just for the Playground.
Still lots to do on it, but I’d like to make whatever decisions need to be made and at least put something up.
Ways this could work:
I can ask you guys lots of questions, especially about the photos.
Or ask at the Frolicsome Bar or the Twitter bar.
The Biggification Board and the Deguiltified Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program have both been crazy helpful with things like this, so I’ll probably enlist some help there as well.
And of course I can use the Rally (Rally!) that starts tomorrow night, though I already have about twenty-billion other things I want to Rally on, and anyway, Rally always has its own surprise agenda that shows up.
My commitment.
To figure out what might be delaying this in the soft.
To negotiate with monsters, as necessary.
To be genuinely curious about what would help this project move forward.
Thing 2: momentum!
Here’s what I want:
I’ve been having a lot of fun doing things with my body this past week (tramping on the trampoline! walking! dancing! aerobics!), and I need a way to keep this up while Rallying.
Obviously there is plenty of physical stuff at Rally too. We do Shiva Nata every morning and there’s old Turkish lady yoga every afternoon.
But I want more.
Ways this could work:
Waking earlier than early to tramp/walk/jump around, etc.
I don’t know.
My commitment.
To be open to surprising and unlikely possibilities that I haven’t thought of.
To practice the noticing and noticing thing, so that I’m being really present with my body at all times.
To do lots of silly dances at the Playground because the Playground is very good for silly dances.
Thing 3: the Shiva Nata iPhone app!
Here’s what I want:
We are really close to getting this ready to go.
The hard parts (recording the audio, the programming, the madness) are done or mostly done in the case of the latter, and now it’s about lots of DETAILS and DECISIONS.
And some writing.
I am so excited about this!
Ways this could work:
A window of 2–3 hours to work on it could magically appear. Or I could delegate some of the Rally prep work?
Magic?
My commitment.
To flail around disastrously with Shiva Nata and then to sleep on it.
To keep doing that until I have either the perfect, simple solution or I know what I’m afraid of.
Thing 4: a glass straw
Here’s what I want:
I have to take iron and I have to take the liquid form and it makes my teeth purple, which is seriously the most depressing thing.
It looks like I’m related to the Schmoppet.
To have it stop staining my teeth purple, I’m supposed to mix it in juice and then drink with a straw. I dislike straws. The taste of plastic in my mouth is really unpleasant. And I don’t like the idea of more plastic crap in the house.
Ways this could work:
I would love recommendations from you, if you’ve tried something that you like.
Could also ask at the Twitter bar.
My commitment.
To be really, ridiculously, over-the-top clear in my ask:
What I want is the straw.
I do not want to be told I should go back to eating meat (tried it in the past with no significant change in iron levels).
Similarly, not interested in spinach recipes or suggestions about iron-rich foods (I eat plenty of these already — and what’s true for someone’s Aunt Vivian is not necessarily what is true for me, because people vary).
And I’ve tried iron in pill form. It doesn’t work as effectively for me.
Also, not interested in hearing about “oh no what if you bite the straw and then it breaks in your mouth”. These things are incredibly durable, you’d have to drop one off of a building to break it. Thank you. End transmission.
Asking for things is uncomfortable enough — adding twenty-seven caveats makes it harder! But in my experience, it’s even worse when you don’t and then everyone wants to be helpful and you haven’t told them what actually is (and sometimes isn’t) helpful.
So. That’s what I want.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Hmmmm. I wanted to close my Firefox tabs, which I did, but now here they are again. So maybe what I really need is some insights about what this is about and what it gives me. Security? Reminders?
Then I wanted to do some work on the theme of being at home with money. Did a really helpful session with Hiro on it, and a lot of work on my own. Uncovered some things that are interesting.
We’ll have to see how it goes as I keep working on it. It’s a big one.
I wanted a hidden board to work on a project, and got some neat suggestions there.
And I really, really was hoping I’d get a chance to enjoy the glorrrrious weather, and I totally did. Lots of walking in the sun and visiting gardens and being outdoors. So hooray for that.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.
Follow
Goooooood morning!
Oh, I had never even heard of glass straws!! They sound fascinating, so I googled them, and came up with these links:
http://mightynest.com/shop/kitchenware/utensils-straws?material=glass&gclid=CPHLrOC4kqgCFRpVgwodVRHVCg
http://glassdharma.com/sets.html
Adorable!! These would be fabulously fun.
soooo…..on to me:
Last week I want to get caught up on stuff so I could Rally! without distraction. Mission mostly accomplished. š I didn’t do much else, but I think I got enough done.
This week:
What I Want: Healthier Portland Eating.
See, I started drinking green smoothies a couple weeks ago, and I feel better. In a lot of ways. But I won’t have my blender in Portland, so I’ll have to do it the old fashioned mastication way. I need to find easy delightful things to eat.
Ways this Could Work:
Lisa, my fab & healthy roommie, could have suggestions, as she’s been eating good stuff for a long while. I could just always get the healthiest thing on the menu, and not worry about it so much.
My Committment:
To notice the changes if I don’t eat healthy. And no matter what, get back to it on Saturday when I return. š
T-minus 23.5 hours till I land in Portland for RALLY!
There are stainless steel straws.
And I love the idea of VPA’s. I’ve started using them in my own life. So thank you.
I have not tried these personally, but they look SO FUN!
http://glassdharma.com/straws.html
I like the ones with the dots. Hope they suit you. š
Cathy
Excited about the Playground website, since I haven’t gotten the chance to experience the real thing for myself yet. And I didn’t even know they made straws that weren’t plastic. Whoa. World both rocked and expanded.
I skipped the VPA last week – whoa, first one in 30 weeks… how the hell did that happen? – so I have nothing to update. But in light of the positively CRAPPY way last week went –
Thing 1: Something like “discipline”
WIWL: I tell myself that I need to do something, and a couple hours later… POOF! BAM! It’s gone. This is a especially true when it comes to resting.
But the idea calling it discipline freaks me out. It sounds so… Hard. Boo. So I need a metaphor, and also a way.
WTCW:
Invoke Metaphor Mouse.
Shiva Nata FTW!
I could dream it. (If I can dream up hit songs, then surely this is possible?)
It just could.
I could find it somewhere.
I could talk to the male-person.
MC:
To be patient.
The curious and loving.
Thing 2: OMG, Rest already!
WIWL: Rest. Blissful, peaceful, ACTUAL rest.
WTCW:
I could set reminders for myself.
I could curl up under a big blanket.
I could talk out all my worries somewhere and get them outta my head.
MC:
To be gentle and loving.
To remember that this is about self-care.
To be yet still patient.
Thing 3: Ergonomics
WIWL: Ease and simplicity in getting better systems in my life. I hate all that posture crap, angle sh*t, and whatnot. Every time I try to deal with this, I end up hurting worse.
WTCW:
I could find an easy guide.
I could find something that works for me.
I’ve got no idea.
MC:
More patience.
More gentleness and love.
How about a yerba mate gourd and silver straw?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yerba_mat%C3%A9
It makes for fun concoctions and decoctions
xoxox
I haven’t tried these straws but I love this company. They’re based in a Mennonite community, I believe, and are greatly into the non-electric homesteading stuff. I love just flipping through their catalogue! Anyway, the straws:
http://www.lehmans.com/store/Kitchen___Helpers_and_Accessories___Utensils_and_Tools___Glass_Drinking_Straws___1127025?Args=
No idea about straws but sending you some straw-finding-magic to help you in your search.
@Ren wishing you a restful week -sends you a gentle reminder and offers you a blanket-
Last time I asked for progress on my university to-do list. And I had two nights of NO SLEEP. None. Not even 40 minutes at 5am. Seriously. that panicked me into working and I spent 20 HOURS working on 1/5th of a piece of work. -sigh-
But it got done. Next time, mention sort, gentleness.
Second item, I wanted to be peaceful and accepting about my masters applications – I asked that the right one accept me.
And I got a place!!!!!!!!! The offered me a place on one of the courses! Still awaiting a decision on the second place I applied for. But I have one. And I didn’t mind which I got into. Huzzah!
So, this week!
Thing 1: insight
Hereās what I want:
I’ve not been sleepign and I’ve been waking up with.. insomnia-hangovers? I have flu-like symptoms for about 2 hours after waking [doesnt matter if i wake at 8am or 11am..] I have no CLUE what these are [if anyone might know, please let me know!!] really hate the doctors but might have to consider it..
I’ve also noticed a few self-things lately – fears getting in the way, sudden “so thats why i …” and i really just want to settle down and do some bodywork to find out whats going on.
Ways this could work:
Yoga. Daily. No matter what.
Stretching. Dancing! Flailing!
Mindmaps?
Talks with future-me.
Blogging about it.
My commitment.
To try and be present.
To give myself time to read away from tv/pc.
To listen to calming music at least an hour a day.
i like this:
http://oneluckyduck.com/store/product-details.php?id=558&cat=6
click on “more info” and it explains what it’s made of.
if you go to the “nest” part of the store you can find
simple ones too. you can also get a straw case!
(i think they’re the same as cathy’s link.)
Havi, my local health food store has straws in stainless steel, copper and silver. Not sure where they get them from, but I’ll find out and let you know. Or better yet, if they have them in stock, I’ll send you one in the mail! š
Love, Hiro
When I was a kid all drinking straws were paper. I loved them. An orange float stirred and sipped through a paper straw – nothing couldn’t have felt more like being a teenager. Which was as grown-up a state as I could imagine. There is a company that still makes them. If the other kinds don’t pan out. http://www.aardvarkstraws.com
I am now having a severe case of straw lust…I too never realised straws came in anything other that plastic.
Last week – I wanted to work out what’s hurting my shoulder and seeing if it could get any better – stress and (unfortunately) using computers. Have managed to move my workstation slightly, massages have helped. Worked out that what was stopping me from doing shiva nata was a mixture of trying to do it at 6.30 in the morning when I don’t even become fully conscious until about 10am, no matter what time I get up, and part of it is I’m scared of the crazy huge changes that can happen when you use it and how hard it can be to change, even when it’s what you want. The way the relationships with people I care about have changed. The flickr commenting thing has worked really well and actually made me engage with what I’m looking at rather than slipping into the mindless zombie internet consumer mode. Haven’t started using my gwish book yet.
And this weeks.
VPA #1: I’m going to the London Book Fair on Tuesday as part of my MA course – feeling very conflicted about this as I’m coming to the conclusion that doing this course was a complete and utter mistake. I want there to be ease about the day, to be sovereign, maybe even to enjoy myself.
How this could happen:
– forcefield superpower!
– consciously check that I’m in my body every so often
– take my own food so I don’t get stuck eating rubbish that’ll make me zoom off into the hyperactiveosphere
– schedule in me time
My commitment:
– to leave if it’s making me too stressed or unhappy
– to at least consider that it might have enjoyable points
VPA #2: Noticing the pattern. I have a pattern of getting distracted just as I really start to do something..like write this (which originally started two hours ago!) – I’ll then just go and look at something else and check that and all off a sudden hours have gone by and I haven’t really done anything I wanted to. So I want to know why? What is this protecting me from? Which part of me is thinking this is the best way to act?
How this could happen:
– Shiva Nata
– journals
– using the procrastion-o-matic
– noticing what I’m feeling when I do it
I commit to:
– not hating myself for what I discover
– there is probably a legitime reason why some part of me is doing this
VPA #3: Shoulder kindness
Which could happen by:
– not using the computer too much
– massage – maybe seeing if it would possible to go and see someone this week
– please, please look for a table
– keep being super gentle with the yoga
My commitment:
– acknolwedge that, yes, this is super frustrating
– listen to my body – cheesey but helpful.
http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/2011/01/glass-straws-by-glass-dharma-review-and-giveaway/
So last week I asked for income-producing avenues to open up, as long as it wasn’t a full-time job. And they did, kinda.
It seems I wasn’t specific enough. Because what happened was an ex-boss from a job that did Very Bad Things to my mental health and stress levels called me and said she had some work for me and she’d like me to come back part-time. So, yeah, money and income, but from a really bad source, and I ended up turning her down for the sake of my mental health.
So this week, I will refine my ask and try again.
Thing #1: Generous income from positive sources, in a way that adds value to my life as well as money.
What I would like – To get paid for doing stuff. Specifically, to either get paid for doing the stuff I’m already doing (writing, blogging, art, jewelry-making), or to find a part-time position that makes use of my skills and strengths, and is in a positive environment with good people.
Ways this could work – Maybe freelance work could be offered to me, doing something I already know how to do and like doing? Maybe I could finally put the donate button on my blog and people could donate. Perhaps people could buy prints of my photos on DeviantArt (username JadelynKaia if anyone’s interested š ). Perhaps I could finally put some pieces of jewelry up for sale on Etsy. Or the perfect part-time job could fall into my lap, involving working with people who are good for my energy. Or something I can’t even imagine but which perfectly meets my requirements.
My commitment – To stay open and creative. To honestly consider the options that come up. To honor my boundaries and needs by being careful with what I say yes to. To have courage and faith in myself and my work.
Thing #2: Blog traffic!
What I would like – my traffic has been reasonable lately, but it dropped off sharply this past week for no reason I can tell. I’d like to boost my Reader subscribers to 100+ (I’m at 66 right now), and my daily visits to a steady 30-50 (on days I post it’s usually around 30, on days I don’t it drops down into the teens).
Ways this could work – I could make a point of posting my posts on the Shakesville blogaround M/W/F, which I always get great traffic from when I remember to do it. I could chat more with people on Twitter so they know me and click through on my post links more often. I could start posting some of my blog posts on Facebook (although that has potential family issues cause I do political blogging and we’re not all on the same side). I could get a guest-post on a bigger blog.
My commitment – to post regularly no matter what traffic I get. To have faith in myself and my work and self-promote when appropriate. To keep doing what I do.
Thing #3: Progress on my novel
What I would like – I have a novel I’m trying to write. I think the framework and concept are solid – I’m actually really excited for this story! – but I’m having a hard time with the actual writing. I want the writing to flow better and easier, and my inner critic’s constant bemoaning of the horrible quality of my prose to disappear or at least quiet down. I want to make progress without it feeling forced and grudging.
Ways this could work – I could flail on it and have an epiphany that quiets my inner critic. I could made microactions a part of my process – just writing a single page a day, or spending a single half hour or something. I could go back to working my way through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way (I got halfway and quit. Again). I could be struck by fantastic new ideas for scenes that make me excited to write them, too excited to get bogged down by the critic.
My commitment – To show up and try to write. To work with the plot and character books I have, because they have really awesome strategies. To do some tiny thing with this novel every day. To also be forgiving of my scared, cranky critic-self.
Much love for everyone’s VPAs, and so much thanks to Havi for this space. The posting and sharing of these is absolute magic!
When I was a little girl we used to have a set of stainless steel spoons that were also straws (for iced tea) It’s spoon- it’s a straw! I googled and found these.
http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/222702428/stainless_steel_straw_spoon_straw_metal.html
Want #1
I’m closing lots of doors. I want permission to be angry.
How this could work:
I could spend some time writing and Focusing about it.
I could write myself a permission slip.
Commitment:
To remember how important it is to allow.
Want #2
Cool, inexpensive, comfortable platform shoes. Impossible???
Ways this could happen:
Window shop
Zappos
Talk with my monsters that are saying – do you really need them? Well no, AND?
Want #3
For my “thing” to go to the next step.
Ways this could work:
carve out time to have a playdate with my idea.
Invite it to a shivanta episode
My commitment:
To cultivate curiousity, openness, playfulness, and excitement.
VPA!
about the straws: it looks like you have LOTS of options. But if you hate them, maybe find a chemist friend and have them round the ends and otherwise tweak a pipette to suit you?
also, maybe the Playground website needs a playdate?
Ok, if there ever was a week for VPAs, this is it!
Thing one:
Dear Universe: please it’s time for the exact right office space. Perhaps the one I saw advertised? It should be bright and airy and near the water and Private Enough and beautiful. Internet hookups and a bathroom, too please.
WTCW: I could see an ad. A connector person could hook me up. Something else could magically be revealed.
MC: to stay open to the possibilities. To say yes when appropriate. To say no when appropriate. To listen to my inside inside voice.
Thing two: please let me figure out what is going on with the phone/internet company so I can get internet hooked up at my office please.
WTCW: I make some calls when I get back to the states.
Thing three:
Exam grace. I have tests coming. I detest tests. If I could actually de-test the tests that would be lovely.
What I want: spaciousness, ease, playfulness, flow.
WTCW: I could continue to study. I could remember I can retest. I can eat and sleep well.
Thing four:
Travel grace: I will be making ANOTHER long journey on Saturday. Please to have the bus/plane/customs/immigration/meet-the-sweetheart process go smoothly.
Please.
and thank you.
And thing five, because it’s SO the week for these things:
I will be returning home with a fantabulous new skill and wanting to share. I would like people who really want my skill to find me and become my clients.
WTCW: I could say here: Massage! In Maine! Find me on Twitter (LeelaSinha) and DM for Special Secret Fun.
I could tell my friends in the Other Maine City that I will have office space there for sure at least a little.
I could get the signup sheet done and emailed to the person who said she would post it for me.
I could um…place an ad in the paper. And put up flyers. And give away massages to other people who do related stuff.
MC: to do the things that I already know I want to do. To allow myself to be imperfect. To explore, to play, to Keep Being Myself even when it feels like I should conform to everyone else’s expectations.
HappySunday!
Using licorice as straws is my favourite thing. But that might present a problem for the non-sugar-consuming among us š
Anyhow.
Update from last time:
(Wow, was it really only a week ago? Feels like forever!)
-My website got fixed. First I fixed it, and then WordPress fixed themselves, so it’s no longer a problem. Then I handed all future webmastering over to Jeffrey, to add to his Official Job Description. Which doesn’t really exist, but whatever. Pretending it does makes me feel somehow better.
-The piles of doom (which were on the floor) went away. Jeffrey helped me and seemed to think the whole issue was really funny. We sat together and he carefully placed things on a table and helped me sort them into Keep and Don’t Keep piles, pretty much laughing at my consternation the whole time. Once they were sorted, they somehow magically got dealt with and put away into appropriate places.
-I did the paperwork and answered the urgent emails. Coffee, makeup, and chocolate did, indeed, help.
-I am also really loving this ritual. I’ve done it once before, and have witnessed Havi and the commenter mice doing it many, many times, but I am totally digging doing it myself.
What I want:
-My body to feel better. It is stiff and weird right now.
-To make progress on my various projects and to-dos.
-My email not to be so totally out of control.
Keywords: movement, flexibility, organization
How this could happen:
-Make a tiny ritual for stretching my legs, like when I’m still in bed in the morning. More rituals for movement/stretching breaks through the day.
-Make a goal of removing one sticky note per day from my To-Do Bulletin Board. Put up new ones when it’s starting to look sad and empty. Make sure that they are small and manageable and not too vague or open-ended.
-Create an email strategy that’s So Crazy…It Just Might Work!
My commitment:
-To take care of myself for the rest of today.
-To take care of myself for the rest of the week, and don’t allow emotional drainage to occur — take many small breaks through the workday to move, to write, to get fresh air.
-To write some more in my journal.
-To do more flailing with a specific intention!
Happy week, everyone.
It’s a Straw Inspiration Party !!!
I think Strawberry Straws should be int there somewhere. not sure what that would look like. But it sure would make a great band name.
I want to send out some excitement concerning the Playground website. I live all the way over in Europe with not so many traveling possibilities so it’s exciting to feel included & see what’s happening over there through the internet connection.
HUGS for the week!
(& i am of for secret VPA’s in my secret VPA book)
xoxo
Glass straws, metal straws, straws-that-are-spoons…
I feel a Dr. Seuss-like poem emerging!
I love it when you rally your commenter mice for help, Havi, because it feels like an opportunity to do a tiny service for you, which is sweetsweetsweet.
Also, the results are delightful because your commenters are so connected. Who knew there were so many varieties of straws to try? Not me, myself, nor even I!
Okay. My submission: the hollow branch of a papaya tree –not available everywhere, I know, but very pleasant when you’re in the tropics.
Wishing you every happiness.
Havi, I have a vision of many beautiful straws winging their way through the air towards Portland and landing smoothly in your cup with a schlurp.
Since last timeā¦
We thought of two possible band names this afternoon! Neither is taken! Now to see if one of them grabs both of us the right wayā¦
I have been meditating, though not quite as often as I was. In a monster conversation this morning, the monster announced that it wants us to meditate together. Okay!
This week:
#1: To get reconnected to my new Thing after a week of intense focus on the other Thing Iām doing with my partner (and which Iām very proud of). To trust that I still want the first Thing, itās still alive, and I will continue to work on it even though in smaller bits since the freelance work has turned from a drought into a torrent.
Ways this could work: I could absorb the monster conversation, which turned out to be about trust in myself. Time to focus on the Thing could appear in between all the freelance work and taxes. Aforementioned stuff could take less time than I think.
My commitment: To choose the next small thing that I know I can do to lead me back into focus. To decide when to do it, today. To do it.
#2: To practice my guitar. Every day.
Ways this could work: I could talk to the monster again if it wants to stop me. I could remember how good the humming wood feels against my belly. I could promise myself just to do a little at a time. I could get my sweetheart to give me a prize. I could not try to use guilt or fear, because they donāt work.
My commitment: To use some of those ways, and do it. To pay attention to how I feel as I approach the guitar. To notice the forms resistance is taking.
Granted gwishes to all!
The Glass Dharma ones are the ones recommended by the food bloggers I read (they use them for their green monster smoothies.)
What I want:
Magic, whimsy, a reasonable easily affordable tax bill, magic, engaged bandhas, handstand again and again, love, openings, magic solutions to things, unexpected resolutions, and for my butt bones to not be too sore tomorrow after my very long bike ride today. It was the I’m turning 39 so I’m going to ride 49 miles! (Because 49 took me to the ocean, and 39 only took me to the forest.)
My ex used to make sterling silver mate’ tea straws, adding lovely gemstone cabochons, and other silver decorations.
I have no idea where you might find one, wish I still had mine, I’d gift it to you. I’ll poke around and see if I can’t find a source. Or how about a trip to Argentina…?
No off flavor or taste at all.
You might also look into laboratory equipment. Thinking specifically of pipettes. They are generally break-resistant, too, I believe.
have you considered the possibility that you might actually *BE* related to the Schmoppet and that’s why you have the purpleness?
š
Good straw hunting š
Andy
You could try the Glass Dharma straws – I saw them on a few food blogs: http://glassdharma.com/
My VPA: To finish my grad school application in the most peaceful way, having communicated perfectly my fit with the program. For this to happen effortlessly and smoothly. To feel like I know exactly what I need to say and how to say it. To get admitted.
My commitment: to let the words flow.
Update on last ask:
–Surfing legs seem to be functioning fairly well. Huh.
What I want this week:
Mental joy and gentleness about healthy habits.
I’m realizing my habits aren’t as healthy as I thought. Or rather, I can go on a healthy habits kick for a couple of weeks, and then I get derailed for like a month, then back on for two weeks, etc. So I want some joy and some gentleness (as opposed to discipline or fear or grit or resignation) to enjoy healthy habits in a way that encourages me to do them but doesn’t put me in a you-have-to-do-this-perfectly-every-day-or-there’s-no-point way.
Ways this could work:
-I could focus on how good I feel when I exercise or eat healthy food.
-I could trot out metaphor mouse and think about sparkle points or something else exciting in relation to healthy habits.
-I could check in with a monster somewhere when I’m having stress and I think of eating chocolate as a reasonable response. (Not that one can never do that, but there are other options.)
-Maybe check in with Hortense–could I be Avoiding exercise?
P.S.: I’ve never seen a glass straw but I have fond memories of glass twizzle sticks, and I just thought you might enjoy thinking about the word ‘twizzle’ while you look for your straw.
I’ve been running away from VPAs for months now, so I’m really excited to actually BE here, VPA-ing (and straw-lusting) with all of you.
Thing 1: A calm, happy re-entry into the post-jury-duty world.
Ways this could work: I could go into work a bit early tomorrow. I could be patient with myself. People could be really happy to see me at work.
My commitment: To get up on time tomorrow. To allow myself to ease back in.
Thing 2: A happy birthday week.
Ways this could work: I could pay extra attention to what I enjoy. Things could magically come together in favor of celebration.
My commitment: To celebrate myself in my own way. To welcome fun and play.
Thing 3: Progress on my bloggy redesign
Ways this could work: Blog playtime! I could tell people that changes are afoot. I could dabble a bit and see what’s possible. I could be open to the many possibilities.
My commitment: To give the blog some love. To open my eyes to what’s in front of me.
A happy week to everybody!
Very Personal Ad
Hello Universe. I’d like to ask for two things, please:
1. Super Four-Day Whirlwind of Accomplishment. Iād like the next four days to be a bevy of busy-ness, in the nicest way. Be done with many hanging pieces of to-do. Face P for procrastination and give it a Polite Push out the door. Go Nike-style and Just Do It. Dance through details. Keep moving, big time.
2. Laughter. Iād like to laugh while all this is going on and feel the rush of enjoyment. Smile and giggle. Remind myself how much fun this is. Make it a game (with bells). Sing out loud. Whoosh the adrenaline. Fly like the wind.
Ways this could work:
– nurturing sleep
– vitamins
– affirmations
– some exercise each day
– play music
– no fretting and stewing
– lower my expectations
– use my mini-timer
– celebrate each win
Last week?
HUGE energy and HUGE ease. Wonderful!
Many thanks, Universe. Hugs…
Dear Havi-
I think these were before your time, but we used to have waxed paper straws (when we were allowed treats like root beer floats): they don’t have that stiff plastic nastiness + they go in the compost pile when they’re worn out.
http://www.etsy.com/search/handmade?q=paper+straws
Have a look and see what you think.
Good luck with the supplements.
Root Beer Float
In a large glass, place a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream (and iron syrup).
Slowly and carefully add root beer (fizz fizz fizz).
Pop in the paper straw and slurp it up.
Sugarless ingredients weren’t around when my Nana made these, but they probably substitute for the originals just fine. It’s the Mary Poppins Medication Method, as it were.
Cheers!
It seems to me that a Mad Scientist should have a glass straw to give you whenever you want one. But then the question becomes: Can a Pirate Queen find a Mad Scientist in Portland?
And would the personal ad look like this?
“Deperately seeking Mad Scientist for glass straw giveaway. Contact Pirate Queen at Playground.”
š
Good morning all! This is my fourth VPA and I have to say, it’s *so* working for me. It provides structure and flow to my week, but I’ve met some brilliant people on here and now we’re twitter bar flies together which really pleases me.
Universe this week I gwish for…
1. The Play
Last week I wanted to write 15,000 words. As of this morning we’re at 16,500 which is fabulous. I’ve also done some plotting on pink sugar paper which is hanging in my hall so I can stare at it while I potter around the house. Not only does this help me work on the story it says to other people, here, look at this, I am a writer, I write stories, look at my heart on this pink sugar paper, I’m not afraid anymore.
This week, I gwish for 20,000 words please. And if they could be good words that would be even better.
2. Doing things I don’t want to do
This week involves doing things I don’t want to do, like calling the rental agency and chasing them AGAIN to do their jobs and earn that grotesque amount of money I pay them each month. I gwish that I can hear that I-don’t-wanna voice without judgement and get things done anyway.
3. Heat
It’s hot in London at the moment. I hate being hot and I am freaking out about spending just another summer in London, sweating on the tube and feeling miserable. I know this is not really about the weather but more about working in an office with no air or spending afternoons trapped on a train instead of walking in the fresh air. So I need to make notes in my Book of Me on how to cope with the heat and also maybe put together some mantras to deal with what the heat means to me e.g. being trapped, suffocating, breathlessness.
A good week to everyone!
There’s a review of the straw Cathy mentions at My Plastic-Free Life.
I don’t have any straw suggestions but there seems to be lots of good ones above.
Very Personal Ad
What I Want
I have a service I’d like to offer as my main source of income. Since I have a job until January I thought I’d offer it at two places I used to work. I’m scared they could steal it. I want to find a way to sell it without them thinking they could do it without me.
How this could work:
I just go and talk to them. Ask from a honest and open place.
Get advice from strategy wise friends
Have a list of other places I could do my thing.
Shivanata up an answer
My commitment:
Think hard. Resist the urge to leap before I’m ready. Have a very clear detailed service to offer. Don’t offer an idea, offer a product with clear pricing. Be open to negotiating.
I see you have a lot of straw suggestions. I thought I could throw in one more. If you have a latin store nearby you might try looking for a “bombilla” there. In Latin America (especially Argentina and bordering countries) there is a drink called mate that is drunk through metal or wooden straws that acts like a tea filter (one end is closed and has small holes in it).
My VPA –
I want – to actually write an email to my professor for a letter of recommendation and for support on a research paper to turn in with my application.
Ways this could work – like Havi, maybe I need to talk to my monsters here. Haven’t really done that before… maybe I could write a brightly colored letter to my monsters? Or have a monster conversation in my dollar tree journal with my awesome dollar tree markers. And figure out the reason for my resistence.
Also, I could try micro-movements. right now, i have the email open in a window that i can click back to and from to just look at lovinginly. (been reading SARK and loving it).
I want – more me time. For a solo-adventure walk with my sketch book and stuff and just to get myself back to a nice chill place. To work on my blog and my novel.
Ways this could work – it might actually work out on its own with my husband working again. I could start getting up early every day of the week, not just on swimming days.
I have also been taking liquid iron of late. I’m not sure whether this qualifies a helpful response given you said you want the straw, but I sometimes tilt my head back and pour the iron to the back of my mouth / throat to try to avoid having it touch my teeth. I usually follow with water the same way. I learned this trick watching women in India sharing water without putting their lips to the bottle / glass presumably to avoid sharing germs. It just looked fun at the time, but now, 10+ years later, its come in handy for iron. It takes some practice, so you might want to try with water first so you don’t end up dribbling iron down your face or onto your clothes if you miss. That or you could just tilt your head back and pour using your bottom lip as a support. I’m only taking ~10mL iron at a time so its not a lot of liquid to have to swallow in one go, which is probably why I find the head tilting method manageable – that and I don’t mind the taste of the iron I have. Good luck with your search & I hope you soon find something that works for you!
Etsy rulz! http://www.etsy.com/listing/61432721/glass-smoothie-size-straws-set-of-2-eco?ref=sr_gallery_23&ga_search_query=glass+straw&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
I am bidding on a house. I would please like some ease in this process and to know when to go and when to back away. This is all hard and it’s triggering my Financial Monster fears and my Don’t Talk to Stranger Fears and I would like to know how to make myself a little more safety in this situation. Thank you, please.
I don’t have any suggestions for straws. I wish I did.
My VPA is for something that I have wanted for a long time, but thought I could never have, to come to me quickly and easily.
I want to take an abandoned building, reasonably intact and reasonably operational, to use as a live & work situation, cats-only boarding facility. I’d like it to be of the abandoned mill/ warehouse variety, because I like the large windows and high ceilings of the Industrial Revolution era. I would also happily consider a schoolhouse or a decommissioned church.
I want to be able to not only build oversized enclosures to keep the kitties in, but make the place some sort of magical kitty playground, with tunnels, scratching posts, automatic waterers, fish tanks and lots of toys for the indoor kitties.
I’d like to be able to have skylights and lamps that approximate sunlight, and also be able to build an enclosure that brings the outside in, by way of feline-safe plants, so when I have boarders that go outside when in the care of thier owners, they can have the feel of being outside in the sun, when they are really safely enclosed indoors.
I would like to be able to employ several people to help me keep the facility running, as I recognize there are only so many hours in a day.
I want/need grant or investor funding to help bring this all together.
con’td from first post as my fears and monsters tripped over one another as I typed.
Ways my boarding facility could come together, other than from investors or grants could be from me bootstrapping it, or from ways I haven’t thought of yet. Suggestions helpful.
I could talk to the people at SCORE or the SBA for ideas, holding the intention that I will be speaking to more positive people who will help me.
..and now I’ve drawn a blank. Drat.
@Kylie — Happy Birthday week! Which makes you an Aries? Of course you’re an Aries, I like you!
Update on last time: Reminded once again of the wonder of VPAs, even when they’re imperfect and awkward, which was exactly what I asked for. Yay!
What I want: To learn more about my weekends, my relationship to weekends, what a good weekend looks like.
How it could happen: I could remember happy weekend moments. I could be inspired by a new urge to try something. The right invitation could spark something.
My commitment: To keep separating the “want to’s” from the “should want to’s”. To keep noticing what’s fun for ME, and releasing pressure and expectations.
What I want: More discovery about the steadiness of publishing, or what I’m hoping that steadiness will bring.
How it could happen: Like last week, I could just have insights about this in the normal course of writing and processing.
My commitment: Using intentions before Shiva Nata and scribbling after.
What I want: A new evening ritual full of relaxation + rejuvenation + release.
How it could happen: Really easily, without effort. (Both the ritual and the coming up with the ritual.) I am skeptical that it will compare with an old beloved ritual that isn’t working for me anymore. Please, surprise me!
My commitment: To remind myself that I don’t have to find something that works forever. (This applies to pretty much all of them.) I just need something that works right now. And I can be open to that something evolving into other somethings.
Happy wishing to all!
My VPAs feel heavy this week, I want to lighten them up with some silliness. Don’t know how, but I guess I will start writing:
Thing 1:
I want Mom’s transition from hospital to home to be smooth and not freak out-ish.
WTCW:
– I could not freak-out
– I could ask for the help that I need with this
– I could continue to insist that they not push us out without all the information/resources we NEED
– I could decide that everything doesn’t have to be perfect before she comes home
– I could just focus on what is in front of me and not all the scary bad shit to come š
MC:
– I will try not to freak out
– I will forgive myself
– I will not leave this hospital until I feel comfortable with the post-discharge plan
– I will try really hard to be positive
Thing 2:
I want to believe that I still get to have some kind of life while caring for my Mom. I have to believe this to stop this slide into depression that I can already feel. Mostly I want to stop the slide.
WTCW:
– I could find a support group for caregivers.
– I could start working with a counsellor/therapist.
– I could set boundaries re: “when I am working on my *thing*” vs. “when I am available for Mom” (since I work at home)
– I could find somewhere else to work on my *thing* so I get out of the house.
– I could think about whether my meds should be tweaked.
– I could ask for help and make sure people are really going to commit to help, not just say “let me know if you need anything…”
– I could START EXERCISING FOR THE LOVE OF G.O.D.
– I could start self-medicating with alcohol and drugs š
– Maybe when I start Shiva Nata it will help.
– I could make sure I stay in touch with friends
– I could keep working on my *thing* as much as I can
MC:
To make sure that I take care of myself. To keep writing. To reach out. To forgive myself.
hmmmm, not a lot of silliness there, ugh ugh ugh….but, still good stuff.
Thing 1: School stuff
I still need about $2,000 to pay to go to Spain this summer. Not only because it’s awesome and meant to be, but because it will allow me to graduate in Fall, which is important to me.
I signed up for Fall classes today, and one of the classes which I need to graduate is mysteriously nonexistent. So that blows.
Ways this can work:
I can get a few small donations that will help me pay.
I can sell my car (getting closer to being ready to do this).
For Fall classes, I can talk to my academic advisor. She can fix the schedule for me, or offer me an alternative class that allows me to graduate on time.
Thing 2: A Playground of my own
I realized today one reason why I’ve been obsessively looking at the Rally info pages. Even though I’m new, and I don’t feel like I’ve known Havi long enough to give her money, and I don’t actually know what I would work on at a Rally, since I feel like my projects aren’t *real* since they’re not a book, or a business, or anything like that. I am longing for a new place to work. Right now I’m not really doing the work I need to be doing. Schoolwork, journalling stuff, housework, what have you. I’m skating, and that’s dangerous for me.
Thing 2.5: I need an ally to help me negotiate with my professors. There’s a small scared child who thinks that they might turn into monsters at any minute, who just wants to hide when she thinks of the mistakes she’s been making, because she thinks everyone will yell at her. I need to be my own advocate, but I also need a caring outside person.
Ways this could work:
-Keep doing Shiva Nata
-Get an appointment at the Student Wellness Center
-I can take a few minutes tonight to write about this–explore any and all options.
-If I can’t do that, I can commit to at least reminding myself that my current method having 10 tabs open (maybe 1 of which is productive), a messy cluttered table that I’ve completely taken over with tissues, vitamins, nail polish, dishes, and overdue library books, and a few backpacks, more books, laundry, and the occassional textbook at my feet, is not the only way.
@Whitney – have you read Havi’s post about the V formation? I find it helpful. http://fluentself.com//blog/calm-techniques/safe-rooms/
Sending your child hugs – if you need a shoulder any time or need help working through stuff send me an email [on my blog page]
Wishing you luck on raising the money. I’m trying to raise Ā£10,000 to cover my Masters course in Fall so understand the hard in this. -hugs-
Do tell when you have the Shiva Nata app ready š
@Rose: Thanks for the link, that looks super helpful. Especially the part about safe spaces. I’m a little sad to realize that when I picture any of my actual former houses/apartments, I always feels like someone can barge in, which is very Not Safe. So I’ll be working on that one. Thank you for your support and hugs–my child is glad to have People Who Understand.
Havi,
This is not a straw based answer but my friend’s daughter takes liquid iron in a sachet that tastes like apple. I’m not sure if it’s the right dosage and things for you, but she has two a day as her body is all a bit shot post glandular fever (mono?) and since I’ve started taking them I feel miles better and my anemia is much more under control than with the tablets! Not sure if it’s a UK only thing, but just in case – this is it: http://bit.ly/hRB0Dh
Glass Dharma is having a giveaway! I read about it and thought of you!
http://myplasticfreelife.com/2011/04/initiative-getting-restaurants-to-stop-giving-out-plastic-straws-automatically/
I am loving that the world is filled with so many awesomestraws! I have one to contribute: Straws that are made of ice or juice. Popsicle-straws! http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/giftsunder10/d9da/ They even have them in Ice Princess fairy wand varieties http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/3-7-years/e15b/ “For your zombie fairy witch princess”
And, I have an update on the only VPA I’ve ever done: MY WEDDING RING CAME BACK!
It’s been an exhausting week filled with unexpected sparkles. May the zombie fairy witch princesses bless us all! (We are.)
A website with the logo I love.
Do I need a copy write?
By the way is it this hard for everyone when your the new kid on the playground?
Try an iron transfusion I get one every year and it does wonders!