Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Thing 1: Operation Cakewalk.
Here’s what I want:
Opearation Cakewalk!
- Color: Teal
- Superpower: Everything is Ridiculously Easy and More Fun Than You Think It Will Be
- Costume: scarves! And sparkly eyeshadow.
- Code within code: C.A.K.E.W.A.L.K.
- Contact: Our man in Lichtenstein!
CAKEWALK also stands for: Congruence. Adaptation. Kookiness. Ease. Willingness. Anticipation. Lusciousness. Knight.
The compass will begin North at C and go counterclockwise: “Congruence knights lusciousness with anticipation and willingness: easy kookiness helps with adaptation!”
Elements of the operation include:
(1) Writing the thing that need to be written.
(2) The business card says: I make things fun.
(3) Finding a more fun way to celebrate Zombie Yule or to reconfigure my X Marks The Spot holiday plans in some way.
The qualities inside of the want:
Playfulness. Sovereignty. Spaciousness. Grounded Enthusiasm. Delight. Pleasure. Silliness. Transformation. EASE.
The superpower of how saying cake makes everything better.
Ways this might work:
Ooh. Can this involve James Bond?
Agent Brooks goes to see a 007 film: it’s secret code within secret code within secret code. Also I can look for clews.
And I’m thinking: costume.
I’m playing with…
Our man in Lichtenstein, of course. Rowr.
Thing 2: Doorposts.
Here’s what I want:
To order the mezuzot.
The qualities inside of the want:
Doorposts. Doorways. Passage. Crossing. Ease. Delight. Commitment. Presence. Compass. Trust. Right timing. Flow.
The superpower of Everything Is A Door. And the superpower of remembering that not going through one door is going through another door, so choose your doors.
Ways this might work:
Talk to Incoming me. Also past-you left a list. Find it.
I’m playing with…
Paying attention to all the doorways, doorframes and doorposts this week.
Thing 3: Operation Four On The Floor.
Here’s what I want:
There are two huge writing projects that need my attention this week.
I want this to feel cozy and snug, on my belly on the rug, rolling on the playground floor, having all the words find me.
The qualities inside of the want:
Coziness. Playfulness. Wonder. Delight. Sparkliness. Surprises. Flow.
The superpower of This Is The Exact Right Time To Be Doing This Thank God I Waited Until Now. Also known as the superpower of appreciating the process that didn’t look like a process.
Ways this might work:
Writing date with my playmate. The blue notebook.
I’m playing with…
Letting flowers change the space. Way more flowers than you’d think necessary. All the flowers. And nothing else. White space and flowers.
Noticings about the things I want this week…
Well, I’m a secret agent. And this is basically a chance to wear lots of costumes and take my play very seriously. It’s sexy, sweet and full of wonder. Liking this.
Bonus wishes, please!
Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Letting December last a little longer.
- The color teal.
- The business cards, of course.
- Wearing white.
- Being a bell.
- It’s all about time, isn’t it.
- Biding my time.
- Kate’s.
- Prepare for the VICARAGE by thinking about the equinox.
- Eight letter words.
I’m playing with…
Containers.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I asked for an extra dose of peacefulness AND I GOT IT! I didn’t think it would happen but Danielle and I ran away to the beach for three nights and everything got quiet. Oh, peacefulness! The best.
Then I wanted to know what was useful about a Certain Perceived Delay, and I talked to Incoming Me about this. So first of all: she’s hilarious. And second of all, it is not a delay at all. I was mistaken. Hooray!
I wanted a thing that would hold my money and ID while out dancing, and a number of you made fabulous suggestions.
(Ben, I am completely in love with the company you linked to, and also with the fact that you can apparently shorten treadmill to treddie in Australian, in addition to all the other words that you can shorten, which is apparently all of them. This delights me. THANK YOU.)
Anyway, I ended up getting this ridiculously sparkly teal armband from Come Along Cuff, and can’t wait to go dancing. LET’S ALL GO DANCING.
Also several bonus wishes landed, including Passport (a big one!), Eva, 80s, writing time and vault time. I’ve had two straight days of vault time and wow. Appreciative.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
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First of all – very warm wishes to all the good things you want as you deserve to have them. If you do, somehow I deserve my own as well, though I often think I do not. Having a very sad and lonely holiday this year and have cried buckets and I was wondering if you would post something soon that I could work with and be inspired by so here goes:
Thing 1 – Operation DBT to deal with depression and emotional upheaval. (a form of therapy I know would help but have not been able to use very well.)
Here’s what I want –
For the trauma of my nervous system from past abuses to heal. Talked to my Ashtanga teacher yesterday and told her how much stuff I feel is coming up physical and emotional. She said that can happen and then it gets better with time as those things are burned away.
To be able to not let my mother control aspects of my life or fill me with negativity.
To be able to handle my emotional pain better, as well as see and respond better to that of others.
Qualities inside this want: Equanimity, Rationality, Emotional Intelligence, Resiliency, Compassion (for myself most of all.)
Elements of the Operation Include:
1. Thinking more before I have a reaction or a response and making sure it is kind, rational, and not likely to set someone off who is set off no matter what.
2. Not getting convinced of others’ delusions when they are overly irrational towards me or towards something that has nothing to do with me.
3. Actually going through the DBT exercises again (as condescending and unhelpful as I found some of them to be)….Some are quite charming and simple enough to use until I can feel them. This requires coming up with a plan for the next upset or confrontation with either myself or another.
4. Realizing it is ok to stand up for myself but I better be able to deal with the consequences to my fragile heart and psyche. And maybe the standing up thing needs more work – extra special sensitive work…..
So….Superpower!
– This would involve becoming an emotional ninja of sorts – employing my gift of empathy in the service of how to best to deal with the energy on the other side of the fence. And realizing first, the Buddhist principle that all experiences arise within myself, not really out there.
—————-
Ways this might work – keep practicing yoga. It develops witness perspective to help with objectivity. Every day read one of the DBT skills so I can remember it and hopefully use it next time something happens….
I’m playing with:
Not letting others get to me so much. Detachment, even faking it.
—————-
Thing 2 – Direction
I need to know what to do to get life headed in the right direction again – literally as it is time to leave Colorado (I think.)
Qualities inside this want: Confidence, enthusiasm, hope, purpose, optimism.
The superpower of being especially tuned into cues and synchronicities – even creating some of my own by reaching out for research’s sake.
Ways this might work – Deliberately stick my foot in the pool, but also find a way to go with the flow – dive in even.
I’m playing with: Staying present. One thought attended to and one action taken at a time. Does it have value. Is it useful, useless?
———
Thing 3 – Operation Still An Aritst In Spite of It All
I want to get ready to take my art to the next level, no matter the pesky details of my present seeming hell.
I want to feel like this is possible in spite of how difficult and isolated life has become with depression and mostly chronic fatigue, et al. Hell, maybe it is more possible due to these things?
I want great offers to start finding me. I have put in my time. I know they are coming if I play it right and put the right amount of time in in spite of above disabilities.
Qualities inside of the want: Accomplishment, creative endeavor and upliftment, service, purpose, gifting my better gifts and knowing it. Value and feeling valued. Purpose again.
The super power of carving out time for prepartions in spite of not thinking I can today due to dull crisis intervening and exhaustion. Enough of that already. I will be tired at the end of the day anyway! I can be tired gladly for an hour of art or anything related too.
Ways this might work – Set an alarm on my computer and have it ready in a space to just sit down and create for an hour. Just drop all the humdrum and heed the call of the alarm for a creative date for just an hour.
I’m playing with – Still getting the clutter out of my way or ignoring it and going for the art anyway. not waiting until the time is right, but making the time right as possible.
Noticings about my wants this week:
They are longer term plans and goals. And I’ve needed some.
Bonus wishes:
Enough healing for a positive romance
A good reason to not have to move if it’s not right.
Business cards and a web site for myself or digital portfolio
the check from last gig so I don’t have to ask for it?
A nice visit with mom in Michigan.
That Mr.N man feels what he did last year for a change instead of me all over again.
Vocation
Software
Collaborations
Abundance
Security
mission: accepting and allowing to dissolve the panic attack brought on when an audio book i thought was about environmental stuff suddenly had a very scary description of being attacked with no trigger warning…
i am having a lovely halcyon time, making art, one nugget at a time, fatigue and hand pain allowing, lots of resting, one blip does not derail this…
and breathe
and breathe
and breathe
teal and coppery bronze and palest cyan…
mmm
Warmest wishes to all.
With the new year looming, I’m thinking of Havi’s advice about Entry and Exit:
Enter the way you want to be in it. Exit as you wish to continue.
Want Number 1: Good health.
Ways this might work:
Book of Me. Riding. Remembering my meds. Learning to rollerskate.
I’m playing with:
Costume: a cute helmet (not a metaphor), fingerless gloves, and/or motorcycle boots. New recipes.
Want Number 2: Iguana extermination: a place and a plan
There is a major iguana that I want/need to deal with ASAP.
Ways this might work:
Creating the “corner office” as a container. Costume as researcher: clipboard needed, some kind of tracking form. Force field.
I’m playing with:
The Me who knows how to do this. Wearing a cute helmet (a metaphorical one this time) for protection from shoes.
Want Number 3: Pomodoros for the iguanas
The remaining iguana tasks can pretty much fit into pomodoros. I could “layer cake” them (Maryann’s term) with something more fun, or I could see how many tasks and/or pomodoros I could do in a sprint.
Ways this might work:
Using the library table. Designated start time. Thursday! (Because for some reason Thursday has been my most productive day since I started this.) Make lists*. Rewards**. Being a secret agent, doing secret agent things, using secret codes.
I’m playing with:
Using a timer. Drafting MrB as helper mouse. Hiding in plain sight.
Report on last week’s asks:
I wanted to feel Christmas-y and I did! I understand better why that feeling has been absent.
I wanted to continue to “feed tomatoes to the reptiles.” I ended up not doing pomodoros but I took care of a number of iguana tasks during the week. So many things on the “waiting list” were done.
Bonus Wishes:
The Vitruvian Woman
Clarity about “something important”
Thrift shopping success
Coffee dates
“Field trips”
Superpower I want this week: Confidence.
Dipping a cautious toe back into the world post-Time In The Dark Place–
On my list–
1) interview past me. look for triggers.
2) discuss travel plans and accommodations with Me Who Wants to Arrive
3) find the Book of Taryn
4) search my quarters for clews
Qualities to invite in–
Curiosity, Adventure, Playfulness
Character to be–
Investigative reporter
Update on a recent gwish: Someone gave me the opportunity to choose a just-right wallet for myself, and then gave it to me as a gift. It’s sparkly-white!
What I want right now: To get home safely through the snow and ice.
The qualities inside this want: Safety. Sovereignty. Security. Comfort. Relief. Ease.
Ways this might work: I can take my time. I can ask for help.
I’m playing with: Remembering that I really do love snow. Remembering all the other times that I have journeyed through it safely.
Also, here is a gwish-in-progress: I want to SERENADE my family!
Singing
Empathy
Richness
Expertise
Nesting
Artistry
Dancing
Ease
Sprinkling sparkles and blowing bubbles for everyone’s visions. If you would like some, please help yourself!
Warm wishes and thank you for the cake, teal, kookiness, flowers and hope. I heard a lot of hope, anyway, maybe because that’s a superpower stream I’d like to dive into.
@VickiB, thanks for the Layer Cake image. It just helped the original mention of cake click. For me, I needed to remember “it’s a piece of cake.” I’d also like the superpower of letting easy things be easy *and* ok. Cake is easy and ok.
Re doorways: just read some research about why sometimes when we go to another room, we forgot why we went there. Apparently doorways help us clear our memory, start fresh. I sense a clew for me…maybe about congruence. Maybe about the dreaded space issue. And space may represent time.
Happy sparkly vision-fulfilled passage through the 2013 doorway, all!
Ooooh, C.A.K.E.W.A.L.K! Soooo much fun. I am thinking of what else has eight letters that I can play with like this.
Also now I am thinking of cake. Specifically, gateau basque. Might be time to use up the last of my pruneaux d’Agen and Armagnac. No food on earth has more native superpower, as you probably know.