When I get stalled and stuckified — which happens all the time — I have this game I play.
You stop whatever you’re doing. You look around and find five objects.
Objects isn’t really a big enough category. Five somethings. Could also be things like colors, words or sensations.
And then you pretend that each one is a symbol. More than a symbol. A clue.
You decide that each of these somethings has some information for you. It holds some piece that you need for finding your way through the hard.
Like this.
When I go through my project notebooks or the writings from Rally (Rally!), this exercise shows up every few pages. I do it kind of a lot.
And it’s insanely helpful, both at the time I’m doing it (because it turns the stuck into play and conscious interaction), and after the fact.
It’s also fairly entertaining to peek at my notes and see what the five things are. If they’re crazy, then I was at the Playground. If they’re standard things like furniture or a window, I was in my office.
Note to self: office needs to get way more fun…
Five clues to help me make changes in a program that I teach.
- The word PUZZLE
- This fuzzy orange pipe cleaner
- “Watching the big ships”
- Wearable wings
- Pink fairy door with potted plants
And what do they want to tell me about making these changes?
Puzzle says:
Intrigue people. Make them think and make them work for it. If not by applications then maybe by doing some sort of exercise before they come. Leave clues for them.
Fuzzy orange pipe cleaner says:
The new website changes will help. Put up lots of pictures. Mention me. Describe the experiences. Make it all about play.
The idea of watching the big ships says:
Watch the ships. ORDER and PROCESS. Each piece has its place. What looks like slow progress is actually the timing of things.
The wings say:
Trust. You are doing what is needed. Stick with it.
The pink fairy door with the plants says:
There are many ways this could happen. Commit to being surprised. Run with it.
Five clues to help me know what to do next.
- Rex the pig, sprawled on his chair.
- Dick Tracy lunchbox.
- Pink stencils.
- Pirate monkey meditation cushion.
- The word SHARPIE (because I’m holding a sharpie!).
What do they know about whatever needs to happen next?
Rex the pig: Do more child’s pose!
Dick Tracy lunchbox: Carry things with you and create designated spaces.
Pink stencils: There is a shape and form for everything — just use it.
Pirate monkey cushion: Sit and be playful, because it always helps.
SHARPIE: Cut through the unknown by deciding that you’re going to play.
Five clues to help me write a blog post.
- Red lamp.
- Pink wig.
- Blooming lilacs out the window.
- Stack of coasters.
- Billy Joel.
What do they know about writing blog posts?
Red lamp: You never know who the light is going to impact, you just keep radiating.
Pink wig: Put me on and become another aspect of yourself.
Blooming lilacs: Walk outside and breathe — you’ll feel so much better.
Stack of coasters: Everything is interchangeable.
Billy Joel: *hums* Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone….
Okay!
Play with me? Caveats, ideas, comment zen…
If you can’t find five things near you, wander around until they show up. Conscious and intentional wandering around is a good way to destuckify anyway.
If you don’t like the advice they give, ask again. Or reframe the question. Or check to see that it’s not actually your fuzzball monsters trying to sabotage the game.
If the monsters say this is stupid, agree with them. And then suggest they go along with it anyway as an experiment to prove them right.
If they say it’s a waste of time, agree with them. And point out that since you’re already stuck and nothing is working, you might as well try it.
Sometimes, even when you know from experience how useful this game is, it’s still hard to remember to use it. I keep a reminder in the oh-no-everything-sucks section of the Book of Me.
Also! Reading my notes later is like running a Revue. I can see how I got out of the hard and then try to replicate it! Yay.
The usual reminder.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process. We create safety for other people to share the stuff they’re working on by not giving them unsolicited advice.
If you’d like to play the Finding Five Clews thing with me, that would be lovely. And you can use this for absolutely anything, so if you want to invent other uses and experiments, that could be fun too.
Follow
Yay!
my problem: Too much work
Letter tray says: Put things in places. Approach them in an order. Structure is your friend.
Boss’s coffee mug says: Do this for love.
Little horse that my old boss gave me says: You’re frightened of your own shadow. Turn around.
Computer mouse says: Don’t clutch and crush and control. Invite. Let it happen.
Hole punch says: OM NOM NOM! Make sure you bring plenty of snacks to work!
D 😀 Great exercise, thank you!
This is a great way to recalibrate your mental state. I often get stuck and lean back in my chair and I do this automatically. I never realized that I actually used this technique until you put it into words.
Thank you!
Your light radiates like a beautiful star resting in the heavens.
I’m not sure what to ask my objects… so I will ask them:
Hey Objects, what is the answer to the unknown question?
5 Clues to help me learn what to ask:
1. Stapler
2. Old clock made from a record waiting for new numbers
3. Moon lamp
4. Trash can
5. Inhaler for asthma
1. Stapler says: ‘Everything can be connected.’
2. Clock says: ‘The Cure’. It also says ‘In Between Days’ and ‘Six Different Ways’ and ‘Push’.
3. Moon lamp says: ‘The light is inside of me… and you.’
4. Trash can says: ‘GET RID OF THE JUNK!’
5. Inhaler says, of course: ‘breathe. deep, slow, breaths.’
hmmm. I’m still not sure what I asked them, but they gave me good advice anyway! I like this game. Thanks, Havi. <3
You, my lady, are fiendishly brilliant. I love when the random connections occur, but it never occurred to me to actually promote random connection sessions.
This will make me sound like a complete flake-a-roonie, but…
I sometimes do this with the chakras (instant seven-point diagnostic!) or the elements (if I just want four or five). I use them like these clues, or the treasure map. And I don’t necessarily mean the usual, “Okay, how can my root chakra help me with this problem?” stuff, but rather it’ll be about tuning in to the chakras **of the thing I’m working with** “What is the crown chakra of this unfinished website? What does it want to have happen?” or figuring out the chakras **of the situation** “What’s the heart chakra of ‘choking during the university interview’? What’s that all about?” And then, if necessary, I’ll see if *those* chakras need to converse with *my* chakras.
For whatever wacky reason, this also keeps me in “NVC mode” while I’m doing it, no matter how hair-pulling the situation might be.
Now, I just need to remember to use this more often. (OH HEY. I have a “toolbelt” section in my Book of Me! I should go write that down in there!)
You’re the best de-stuckifier ever. Seriously.
I’m just generally stuck right now. I’m going to try this.
Hey! What do you know about what needs to happen so I can move forward already?
lime green calendar book
DSW bag full of paperwork/receipts/mail
new iPad
zebra stripe pencil bag
the color violet
calendar says: remember me? structure is good.
DSW bag says: DOOM you have to go through me to get where you want to be.
iPad: unexpected gifts show up when you (I) show up.
zebra bag: remember rally!? stay open to playfulness and possibility and color.
violet: be gentle. play. soften things.
Hmmmmm.
I think I need to ask more questions.
I hate the DSW bag.
Everything talks back, doesn’t it? This reminds me! If I remember sometimes I do something similar I call The Oracle of You. Here’s how it goes:
First write a question, one you admit you really don’t know the answer to yet. Maybe fold it up into a secret or put it somewhere signifying pause, letting this go for now.
Then look around or walk around and let one thing call you.
Write down very briefly what you notice about it, or how you’d define it, or an association to it.
Then look curiously to see how that answers the question. The realest answers will be kind. Sometimes they point to another question.
Here’s a poem:
What do you really want to know?
Does love choose?
Do cats ever blink for effect,
or do they always mean it?
Don’t be silly.
Hold your question
like carrying water
in your hands to drink.
Watch like the child navigating
the whole room while all the obedient
ones close eyes in prayer.
A pebble glittering with sunshards
in a hoard below a drainpipe
told me, “Be wealth.”
Sidewalk cigarette filter said,
“It’s over: drop it.”
The world oracle flashes, terse and true
like fish shadows in windy moonlight.
This reminds me of something I sometimes do when I’m seeking answers or direction: I choose a book from the shelf, open it to three different random pages, write down the first or sentence or phrase that I happen to see on each page, and see if I can discover connections or clues.
Okay, here goes. Question: What is the best thing for me to do about the Secret Problem that’s been troubling me?
Five items:
Rubber duck
Journal
Photograph of my daughter as a newborn
Chocolate-scented candle
Stack of mail on my desk
Rubber duck says: You’re not alone in this. Even though this problem is something you’re afraid to talk about or think about, there are lots of people, right here in this Fluent Self community, who can empathize, who know just what it’s like to have a secret problem that scares you.
Journal says: Trust yourself. Talk to yourself. You’ll find a way through. You can be your own confidante.
Photograph of my daughter as a newborn says: You are so strong. You already know how to face difficult and scary things that you’re afraid you won’t be able to do. You are so brave. You are amazing.
Chocolate-scented candle says: Remember to take care of yourself. Don’t deprive yourself of genuine, sensual pleasures. They aren’t just distraction. They can really help.
Stack of mail on my desk says: Oh, geez, it’s annoying, having piles of problems hanging over your head, cluttering up your space, and disturbing your peace. Deal with the problem, as soon as you can. You will feel so much better when you’ve cleared your space!
Okay. I feel…better. Yes. More connected to the mysterious world around me, more connected to the rich, tangible here-and-now, more connected to myself. More in tune. More in touch.
Thanks.
Havi! I lit up reading this, remembering with glee the experience of clew-hunting at the Playground… Super awesome fun.
Here’s my Playground Rally clew-hunt things:
What qualities can guide me in my Rallying?
::hunt hunt::
1. A fairy door
2. Spiderman on the rafters
3. A magical coloured lamp
4. A tiny hamster
5. A can of inspiration
5½ A moustachioed card
What do they tell me?
A fairy door is tiny, unexpected, magical. It makes my whole being delighted! It invokes the quality of DELIGHT
Spiderman on the rafters makes me laugh, references my childhood. It’s playful in a badass-kitsch way. It invokes the spirit of BADASS KITSCH
A magical colourful lamp is luminous (duh!). It casts colours all around the room. It belongs in Peter Pan’s den, or a house in the middle of a tree-trunk. It is oldy-worldy, warming, welcoming. It is a beacon, and a cosy comforter. It is a sign of secret spaces, a hideaway. It invokes the spirit of SECRET HIDEAWAY
A tiny hamster is adorable but also mystical and way, way, way smarter than me. He looks cute, but he is also wise and witty and ninja-like. He invokes the spirit of CUTE NINJA WISDOM. (Or maybe cute zen-master wisdom.)
A can of inspiration is bursting with possibility! It invokes the spirit of POSSIBILITY & ABUNDANCE – and the trust of always being on the right path.
A mustachioed card is funny & odd. It invokes the spirit of ECCENTRICITY.
* * * * *
This game is totally going in the Destuckification Hall o’ Fame in the Book of Reba. Appreciations!
@Carey I love your chakra conversations version! x
I read the post about Day 4 Syndrome, and it reminded me of my travel experiences. After about two days of novelty and activity, I need a change of pace. That also applies to my Big thing; I work at it and then get discouraged and think “what’s the use?” That would be a good time to use this technique. In fact, I build it in. Two days of work and then do some destuckification; two days of work and then change the pace. If I’ve been plodding, do a sprint. If I’ve been pushing, slow down.
I love the expressions people use here. “Flake-a-roonie”. “Avoid-y pants.” “Thinky-brain” (I read that in the archives.) They say things that the usual expressions don’t.
I’m thinking of collecting them and using them for a new version of this technique. Select three or five or seven, and use them as the clews for my question: How can I move forward with this Big thing?
“Flake-a-roonie” suggests that I do some off-the-wall fun creative thing with it, about it, for it, because of it…
“Avoidy-pants” says that I would get it done if I used the Big thing as a way to avoid doing something else. The way I sometimes used to clean closets so I didn’t have to go to my in-laws!
“Thinky-brain” tells me that I’m over-thinking the process and maybe I need to engage my intellect in something else, e.g. an audio book, while I’m working on this.
I like this a lot, Havi’s version, the book version, the chakra variation, and this one I just made up.
I was so excited about this “game” that I did it before bed and forgot to comment 🙂
My five clews to help me get through this hold-up in my dissertation:
Blue pipe-cleaner snake called Ernest
Named after Oscar Wilde’s work.. Reminds me of creativity, of the power of symbolism, of a guardian.
Picture of a .. yellow bird on my calender .. its an American goldfinch on a pink flowering branch
Take a breath, everything move sin cycles, some buds open later than others, shine bright and you’ll make others smile.
Green tea
Take a sip; reminded of the Japanese tea ceremony.. and the story of the woman who always made visitors tea.. all about being present, precision, taking your time and being accurate and aware..
Stacks of books
I have the knowledge and resources available to me. They’re solid foundations and support.
The destuckification basics I have stuck on my wall.
I have a guide, like a compass or lighthouse/ I can work with the monsters and It’s not stupid to be feeling how I feel.
Ooh, I love it! Here are five things from right now:
Half-full water bottle says:
You can carry your well-water with you, and you can use it to water plants and give people drinks. The fact that you thought ‘half-full water bottle’ rather than ‘half-empty water bottle’ shows that you *have* done lots of growing and healing, despite your regular fears to the contrary, and that you are not your mother – promise.
Sparkle deva-fairy hanging in my window says: Never underestimate the power of sparkle. The things you’ve gained and learnt in the past stay with you, whether or not you notice them all the time. The things you do have a reach and an impact that you can’t even imagine. (If the now-deceased lady who used to make these little sparkle hanging deva-fairies could see all the people she touched with them and still touches, I think she’d be surprised.)
Moss-green cushion says: Small things make a big difference. The small things you can afford are enough. You do give myself what you need. There is luxury in your home.
New home card says: You have incredible friends who love you and get you. Their support goes with you everywhere.
Automatic light thingy on the neighbour’s wall says: Light is always there when you need it. Each step of the road is illumined as you get to it.
I love this exercise! I’m defintely going to keep trying it.
This is a neat game!
Hmm… Let me see, 5 objects to comment on.
But there are so many items on my cluttered desk, an appendage of my cluttered mind.
Oh, but I do think that would be my first “something,” my cluttered desk is a symbol of my stuckification.
If it is a symbol of my stuckiness, it cannot be a clue, so it is more like object zero.
Let me see, what is the first something that catches my eye…
1. Soviet Military Issue Ushanka made of fish fur (feels like carpet or fur of a stuffed animal)
Soviet Ushanka says, “Comrade, do not join Soviet Red Army if you want quality headgear. Dasfidanija!”
2. I have a Soviet Red star, that came with the ushanka, that I have taped onto my television – mostly to be ironic.
What does the ironic Soviet sickle and hammer tell to me? “Comrade, western capitalist television is opiate of masses…get back to work! Dasfidanija!”
3. My computer:
What my computer says to me:
“I am 10 years old. I do not understand all this new fangled web 2.0 stuff; it’s a paradigm shift for me. In fact, if you make me visit that “Youtube” site (or whatever you youngsters call it) I’m going to crash!
“And now, for no reason, I am going to sleep…zzz…ctrl alt delete…zzz…ctrl alt delete…”
But seriously, my computer, annoying as it is, tells me that I don’t need the best, most cutting edge equipment to do my art.
4. My ecorche sculptures.
I sculpt these in 2004 and 2005 (disclaimer: links go to my website)
http://aaronfungart.blogspot.com/p/ecorche-2004.html
http://aaronfungart.blogspot.com/p/ecorche.html
I spent 200 hours on each sculpture; the end product was not the actual sculpture itself, but the education I received in artistic anatomy by subjecting myself to this practice.
What my ecorche sculptures tell me:
Memento mori.
Often, the most important fruits of our labor are not in the physical output of a product, but in the practice of our art, the learning we receive, and the greater souls we become as a result of the practice.
When an ancient Spartan was asked about the lack of monumental structures in Sparta, he replied that the Spartan people were their monuments.
The sculptures are fragile (the legs are already bleeding rust from the steel armature) and may one day be destroyed, but the education I received, and the fruits of 400 hours of practice will remain with me forever.
5. My favorite pair of boots
I am quite certain I have walked a thousand miles in my Corcoran Boots; the folds and creases each formed from the journey that is my life, scarred by the sidewalks and crates carelessly kicked, soles fast disappearing.
Its beauty is born of age and scarring.
It is odd, when I first got these boots, they appeared almost too shiny, like imitation patent leather, like a pair of crappy toy accessories to a GI Joe action figure with kung fu grip.
Hardship has exposed its character.
A good pair of boots is like a good person; she first begins fresh, as a fragile adolescent, her strength lies dormant, hidden. Time and pain inspires action, exposes the character that already existed within.
Only through strife do we find out who we really are.
And yet, the metaphor is not complete. For a pair of boots can only be as strong as it was when it arrives from the factory. Every scar and nick remains forever, and wears it down.
A person, however, can overcome a scar, and in so doing becomes a stronger person in the process.
What do they tell me?
They counsel me to embrace hardship and pain, for it is through strife that I come face to face with an ever present stranger: my true self.
“You shall become him who you are” – Friedrich Nietzsche
They also tell to me that age is something to embrace rather than fear; they show to me that there is a way to age gracefully, with elegance and character.
***
This game is really fun! I hope this thread continues, as I am finding these posts creative and insightful.
@Karl Staib and @s.
Karl Staib said: “Your light radiates like a beautiful star resting in the heavens.”
s. said: “Moon lamp says: ‘The light is inside of me… and you.’”
My response:
“Two things fill the heart with ever renewed and increasing awe and reverence…: the starry skies above and the moral law within.” -Immanuel Kant
Ach, too much heavenly light!
I must turn off the (inner) lights and go to sleep (in the dark) now.
Aaron
This is my new favorite thing.
My 5 clues about something secret: Ray-Bans. Coffee shop sandwich board. UPS truck. Palm tree trunk. Canister of pancake & waffle mix.
Ray-Bans say: Style can be simple. One symbol can say so much.
Coffee shop sandwich board says: There are lots of ways to tell people what’s available. If you don’t tell them, how will they know? You can even place an invisible message on the rim of your force field. Even if you’re the only one that knows it’s there… a little twinkly light that only twinkles for that one.
UPS truck says: Deliveries are important. The UPS truck is a boring brown box. But just imagine what’s inside! Colorful gifts tied up with ribbon. It’s about what the UPS truck is carrying.
Palm tree trunk says: Be a tree. If it’s your pose, you’re allowed to enjoy it. Don’t feel bad about that.
Canister of pancake and waffle mix says: The chances of you eating me are pretty slim. But you really like the idea. Especially when you think about being at a lake cabin with a group of loved ones and whipping up breakfast for everyone in the morning. You care way more about the essence of that experience than eating the waffles. Know that about yourself.
Yup: new favorite thing! Wheeeeeeee!
Awesome! I totally adore the playful approach. And the best thing: it has worked already without me actively doing it:-) After reading your post I moved my bookshelf so that I finally can move my wardrobe and put up my new bed (which has been sitting in its carton for more than a month now). That´s a big step for me. And I will use the five clews when I get stuck again. Yay!
Thank you.