Confession: my obsession with writing personal ads for things that no one would ever write a personal ad for is spinning slightly out of control.
First I wrote a personal ad for my ideal home… which is how I came to live at Hoppy House. Hoppy House! I love Hoppy House. Plus it has blueberry bushes.
Then Kelly wrote a personal ad for a copywriting assistant… and I ran it for her here and that ended up completely transforming her business.
But then lately I’ve been writing really, really little ones and not putting them up on the blog. Not even telling anyone about them. And here’s the weird part. It’s still working.
I don’t get it.
But I also don’t really care because hey, look at that, it’s working.
And so I’m writing personal ads.
That’s how I found a really great dentist who is smart and sensitive and caring and considerate (all the qualities I asked for).
And a dermatologist who is sensible and down to earth.
And a great space for teaching workshops.
And it’s not just me.
My clients and students and Kitchen Table participants are knocking me over with the way they are finding what they need while using this extremely unlikely and “soft” technique.
Houses. Jobs. Relationships.
But also smaller things… like a home for a puppy. Or a good book to read on the plane.
So I’ve decided to start writing itty-bitty personal ads for things I need and want that aren’t big, crazy things to ask for.
Just to see if the process of finding them can be made that much easier.
A tiny personal ad for hangers.
I am a person without a lot of stuff. I don’t have a car. I don’t have a desk. I have two pairs of shoes.
So simple living suits me. And at the same time, I somehow don’t have enough hangers in my closet.
Here’s what I want:
Sturdy clothes hangers, made of wood or metal. Some of them should have clips for hanging skirts on them.
Here’s how I want to get them:
I am more than happy to pay for them. I just don’t want to have to go look for them.
And I prefer used to new, to not have to be part of that endless cycle of more crap being created.
Ways they could come to me:
- A friend or neighbor could want to give them away.
- Someone might see an ad on Craig’s List or Freecycle and tell me about it.
- I could happen upon them somehow. (This makes me think of Mr. Micawber and his waiting for something “to turn up”!)
- Any other possibility. I’m willing to be surprised.
My commitment.
I will treat these hangers well. I will appreciate them. They will be loved.
A tiny personal ad for a place to donate old clothing.
Again, I don’t have a lot. But some of it is stuff that no longer needs to be with me.
I’ve gone through my closet and asked “Is this something that the Pirate Queen or one of her consorts would be happy wearing?”
And now I have a bag of stuff that isn’t. And it would like a good home.
Here’s what I want:
I want to know where to take this bag of clothing, without having to do a bunch of time-consuming research, or calling everyone I know to ask.
Here’s how I want to receive the thing I want:
- Someone reading this could leave a comment here with a useful suggestion.
- The next time I’m hanging out with a friend, I just remember to ask and they have the exact right answer.
- I type my question into a search engine and the first thing that comes up is perfect.
- The right answer just comes to me.
- Any other possibility. I’m willing to be surprised.
My commitment.
I will take this bag of clothing to the right place once I find it. I will give these things joyfully and appreciate the new space in my life.
And … I’m out of personal ads for now.
But I’m sure I’ll think of other things I want to ask for.
I really like the clarity that asking gives me. I like the ritual of it.
And I like the idea that a personal ad doesn’t always have to be for some big life-changing thing.
That it can be tiny and hopeful and personal.
That’s what I’m going for.
And since I’m already asking …
I am going to also try asking today for what I would like to receive in the comments, and that way, if you feel like leaving one, you’ll be part of this experiment too. 🙂
Here’s what I want:
- Stories of things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for.
- Helpful thoughts and ideas you have about the two things that I have asked for here.
- Ways that you’re thinking about this concept and how it could be applied to interesting things … or questions you have about it and how to apply it.
What I would rather not have:
- Theories about why it works.
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to everything that people say, and I will interact with their ideas compassionately and honestly.
What I’m noticing.
How weird/hard it is to just say what I want.
Really interesting.
That’s it!
p.s. Thanks for doing this with me. I really appreciate it.
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I know it seems kind of counter-all the new do-your-own-thing/be-remarkable things people are doing/starting everywhere, but I really want a good job. I’ve applied for some that would be awesome, and I would be so good at, if only someone would just give me the chance. Not jobs that I’m not qualified for, or am just barely qualified for, but ones I could rock at.
And I would totally relocate, especially if I could then afford to help my brother keep this place. It’s not fabulous, just an acre of weeds, but three of my dogs are buried in the back yard, and, well, kind of morbid, but you get attached to places like that. And I’d like to retire here someday when I feel I can be independently remarkable.
Judys last blog post..Changes to my website…
I have done this in the past and it always works … which is totally weird. And I’ve totally forgotten to do this because right now I am seeking a job that will give my life some sort of meaning (and not so much with the “Ugh. It’s Monday again?” sort of feeling).
I would really like a job that made me jump out of bed in the morning. That let me do a whole bunch of stuff that I really like doing. That made it so that I wasn’t always stuck behind a desk and that was different every day. And I want a boss that values what I do and sometimes will tell me that I am doing an awesome job and that I’m valued. Plus, I would totally move for said job.
SuperCareos last blog post..Things I’ve Learned Thursday
This is really interesting, Havi. There are so many things I could apply this to, but even thinking of putting the ad together makes me feel silly. I can see how this is hard.
OK, how’s this, I’ll try doing this for the following things, and may or may not tell anyone about it:
– my perfect first client (I just formally opened shop as a freelancer)
– a holiday cottage type thing for me and the boyfriend to get away for a while
– the best ever office chair, the only thing missing from my revamped study
Wow, that’s about enough, right? OK, I’ll start working on this (while I watch some very important TV. Yes.)
@Judy – oh, absolutely. If you want something, that’s a legitimate thing to want! As Barbara Sher says (only better), anything you want that isn’t going to physically hurt someone is fine.
Good for you! And great that you know what you want. And happy personal-ad-writing.
Okay, I’m off to the doctor but will write more later! Hi Willie! Hi Super-super-super Careo!
@Judy Hardly apropos of anything but not inappropriate to this here weblog, did you make up that “independently remarkable”? Because I’m going to re-publish your itty-bitty personal ad, just to up your broadcast reach. That’s fantastico!
communicatrixs last blog post..Referral Friday: Cuppa cuppa Barry’s Tea
I recently started writing short personals ads for other sellers’ target markets, was so much fun! And surprisingly accurate. Dunno if I’d ever look for used hangers that way, but what the hell. Maybe I can write a personals ad to sell the skimmer box I bought (and paid too much for) and never used…
I’ve done it in the past. Not yet for current things, though: not the full ritual of sitting down and writing it out… which seems to be the catalyst for making it work.
Things I’ve done it for:
The perfect sweetie for me. (Married 7 1/2 years now and going strong!)
The job to help me move across country to be WITH said sweetie… (Worked here 8 1/2 years now, and can’t really think of a better place to work if I have to work in an office…)
Wonderful Home placement for the 4 kittens that the pregnant cat we adopted came with. Found homes for 3 and decided to keep the fourth…
It totally works, and I don’t CARE why.
G. Romillys last blog post..Surprise – Golden Circle Designs is now live…
Great post, Havi – I really like this idea.
I have an informal commission to design a logo for a friend. Although I’m an artist, logo design is not my strong suit. My friend knows this, but wants to see what I can come up with anyway. I have what I think is a really good idea, but I don’t think I have the appropriate skills needed to execute the idea in a way that he can use it. So here’s my personal ad:
I want to be able to present this logo to my friend as soon as possible.
How I want to receive this:
-One of the designers I follow on Twitter will post a link that gives me what I need to know to get the idea out of my head/off the paper and into the computer in that best format.
-I will stumble across the perfect solution as I’m learning some other form of digital art.
-I will realize that I already know what I need to know.
-Or hey, Universe, surprise me!
Oh, wow. So interesting. And so weird, because it’s something that might actually help me right now! Two things I desperately want, and might or might not be the same thing, I don’t even know (wibble).
Here’s the two things I want to ask for:
1. The right therapist. I’m just coming to terms with the fact that I actually could get some use out of psychotherapy and it scares the *hell* out of me for many reasons. I don’t think I have quite what I want out of the “right therapist” pinned down. But I know that it includes:
-someone who has been recommended to me, so that I can trust that they are good at what they do.
-someone who is relatively local to either my home or my work, so that the travelling to therapy doesn’t become an obstacle and an addition to my already-epic resistance to the whole terrifying concept.
-someone who will not judge me, will not tell me what I “should” do in order to get better, will not imply I am lazy or morally suspect because of the life I lead.
-someone who is open to my being weird, quirky, creative, queer, deeply involved in online life, and possibly a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. And someone who is cool with that.
-someone who can treat me with some compassion when I can’t do it myself – which is often.
2. Some practical help with the not-showering thing. I have Major Issues with staying clean. It’s really really hard. I don’t know why. I have a lot of friends who think that I need to “force myself” to do it but I know from long experience that that only works in the short term.
I want someone, maybe a group of people, to help support me in this hard thing, who might understand this. I’ve never met anyone who has this problem the way I do. And here’s what I want from them:
-someone I can talk to when it’s hard to shower or bathe and try to explain what’s going through my head.
-someone who will listen without judging me and give me some compassion and tell me it’s okay if it’s hard.
-someone who might occasionally remind me that I need to shower, but would leave me alone on that if I asked them to.
-someone who would NOT tell me that it’s “any excuse not to shower”, because even if it IS true, telling me that only makes me bright orange with rage.
-someone who understands that it’s sometimes unbearably hard and doesn’t believe that forcing myself to do things is going to help in the long run.
I don’t know if this is going to help! But it’s maybe useful just to enumerate what I want, even if I don’t know how to get it yet or even how to actually ask for it.
Lucy Viret (aka randomling)s last blog post..Love. It has teeth.
This is lovely. I hadn’t thought about writing adverts for little things. And yet, it makes perfect sense. Thank you.
As to your adverts…
The clothing one immediately brought something to mind for me. In a powerfully visual way. If it’s right, use it. If not, maybe I need to noodle on it some more to see what it’s trying to tell me.
Give your clothing to the local women’s shelter. You know, the place where abused and unloved women show up in the middle of the night with (or without) their kids, having only the clothing on their backs.
christys last blog post..Bad News 101
Oh, and while I’m slowly coming around to the possibility of actually trying it, I really want everyone to stop telling me that therapy will be the end of all my troubles! I accept that it might help, but I also have such major issues with it that I know it’s also going to be really hard. So everyone that thinks it’s going to solve all my problems can shut up.
Sorry for writing a novel in your blog, Havi!
Lucy Viret (aka randomling)s last blog post..Love. It has teeth.
St Vincent De Paul does great work and there is one in Portland
http://www.svdppdx.org/donate_clothing.htm
I remember going to their shops with my mom when I was a little kid. For all you know the hangers could be there as well! 😀
Asking and receiving, no personal ad, just a mention in a conversation that “I want to see (my friend) Natalie” and both times Natalie coming to me as I’m heading down the sidewalk. And the time I told Izzy I would find $50 so we could go to KFC and see a movie, and that was the exact amount of the check that showed up for me that day.
Asking to allow good to come, asking to be able to let go of the stuck, asking for someone to buy a piece of art so that the bills I’m responsible for are covered for the summer, asking to know what to ask for 🙂
Hope the St Vincent De Paul works out for you!
Andis last blog post..Her Name Is Lola
PS Wanted: one lawn mower, self-propelled, gently loved, for immediate use at my house. Will be treated with love and care.
Andis last blog post..Her Name Is Lola
Hi Sweetie,
This is something that I have been doing for a while and I know how amazing and magical it can be. I found my beloved Tim that way. I created a personals ad with all the qualities I wanted in a partner and got everything on that list.
And then when we were looking for a house we did the same thing. Although in addition to the list we did a wacky ritual with building an altar that had symbols of everything we wanted in a house on the altar including the DIRT from the area that we wanted to live.
The thing that was really wild about that was that one of the things that we asked for that was extremely important to us was to have an open, upfront and positive relationship with the people we were buying the house from cause we had been having experiences with folks that including shady dealings!
We walked into our current home and there was Bob and Norma serving Kool Aid and cookies and welcoming us as if we were long lost friends. She was an artist and they had built a painting studio on the second floor of the house. We started talking, fell in love with each other and made the decision to buy with a handshake and a hug. Of course we signed all the papers and things later, but our real estate agent said she’d never seen anything like it. There was such a sense of honesty and integrity to the whole transaction. And obviously the whole house was steeped in love and laughter and creative vibes.
I hadn’t thought to do the same ritual for the tiny things so thanks for the reminder. And I’ll keep my eyes open for those hangers!!
Love you bunches,
Chris
Love this!
Seeking: the ideal approach to designing my new website. Oh, and can it be also come with a start-up sized price?
How I’d love to receive it: I’m very willing to be surprised – I would just ask that it arrive without major overwhelm or involve me becoming catatonic after staring at my computer too long (browsing websites to research website design is craaaaaazy addictive).
My commitment: I will be grateful, excited, and lovingly proud of the site and what it allows me to say, give, express.
Thank you!
I want two female housemates for cooperative living and after reading your post, I realize I might have better success with better writing.
http://www.cooleremail.net/users/jstein/PracticalWisdom_HouseMate.html
Any ideas to Havinate the copy?
Hm! I like this. Still working on my personal ad for a part-time job.
For donating clothes, I started leaving them in the trunk of my car because I always found the right place while driving around doing other things. This way, I can act immediately when I see the right place, and not worry about remembering where this place is or when I can get back there. This doesn’t work well if you have a lot to donate at once, though. 🙂
Near my house on the Indian Reservation is a big metal box you can put clothing into for donations. On the weekends, at the hardware store, there is a big truck from Goodwill and you can drop off stuff there. Very easy.
I put stuff in my trunk and then when I drive by a place, I get to drop it off.
Here’s what I want: 500 more women to join the Comfort Cafe. I know this isn’t a small want (!) and I feel very greedy saying it, but I also LOVE / adore / can’t believe the goodness that is happening over there. I want more women to get the goodness.
Okay, while I’m at it, also want one more person for our GREAT AMAZING NURTURING writing retreat in Taos end of July. Because it is going to rock everyone’s world, you doing your wacky stuff, the place, the women who are attending.
One last thing I want: to decide what scene to write next in my novel and be clear about it by writing time tomorrow morning.
Whew, I thought I didn’t want anything when I read your post. HA!
Jennifer Loudens last blog post..Choose Your Life Mondays #27
Okay – I’m feeling a bit embarrassed and greedy with my “Havinate” comment.
Learning that there is no way to edit posts after they are made.
Who new that blogging was so Zen?
PS Clothes – It’s Portland. Put them on the sidewalk in front of your house and like magic they will disappear.
Havi – I LOVE this! I’m going to try it… and I can see that the key to all of it is CLARITY. Being really clear about what it is that you want and open to ways in which it will be received.
thanks,
BA
It is amazing how well simply asking for stuff/answers/whatever works! As for where your bag of unwanted clothes should go, these options come to mind: Freecycle, post a free craigslist ad, offer them to a neighbor who wears a similar size, donate them to a Goodwill store, or sell them to a consignment shop.
I’ve had fantastic luck with Freecycle and craigslist on these fronts. With their help I’ve:
– gotten rid of 9 cubic ft. of gravel I raked up from a truly pitiful patio
– received dozens of perennials and several young trees for my yard
– bought 80 lb. of wood stove pellets when they were out of stock in stores (I use them for cat litter)
Also, one time when I moved Uhaul completely screwed me over. I had one day to move and no truck. So I sent an email to everyone in my department (I was in grad school at the time) asking for help. Half of the department turned up. My boyfriend and I had everything boxed up already, so we moved EVERYTHING in two trips and two hours. Hurray!
Now for stuff I’m currently asking for.
– clients for my fledgling editing business
– people to check out the web series “Reservation” (http://www.thereservation.tv — I’m one of the writers for the upcoming season, w00t!)
– people to check out my online serialized novel “Strange Little Band” (http://www.strangelittleband.com)
Oh, one more thing. It would be fantastic if my artist and all-around creative friend Brian Goff (http://www.briangoff.com , @briangoff) could land some more freelance illustration or photography work. I hired him to sketch characters from my novel. He’s talented, fast, and fun to work with. If you contact him, tell him I sent you. 🙂
I just found a good home for my old piano via Freecycle. It’s new owner was so happy, it was a joy to see.
Here’s the info on the Portland branch of Freecycle.
My branch had offer ads for even the tiniest of things, so I’m sure someone on there would love your bag of clothes.
Kates last blog post..Working with Change
Okay, here’s my personal ad for a new career. Havi, thanks–your post today inspired me to finally write this, even though I’ve been meaning to for a while.
Dear New Career,
Please notice that I’ve used a friendly, informal comma in the salutation, not a businesslike colon. That’s because you and I are going to be intimate friends–ours won’t be a cold, functional, emotionless business arrangement, but a lively, friendly, and very enjoyable relationship. I needed to do a lot of internal work first, but now I’m definitely ready to find you. Or you can find me; either is good. But first, let me specify a little about each of us, so that we know when we’ve found each other.
Me: Passionately interested in learning, but tired of frittering away my energy on the meaningless. Tired of trading my hours for dollars, and becoming desperate to find a way out of working for others in a traditional Day Job. Willing to work hard, but uncertain of my energy on a day-to-day basis. Classic Type A control freak who needs clarity (some sort of structure or a plan) to move forward on things. Feeling stifled creatively, but also terrified of financial risk.
You: Exciting and creatively engaging, but also lucrative fairly quickly so that I’m not always working in a state of financial panic. Relatively steady, or at least predictable, income, for the same reason. You involve writing, teaching, and helping people better their lives in deep rather than superficial ways (preferably regarding life simplification and reduction of overwhelm, but I’m open to other topics and issues if they feel right and/or intertwine with these). You allow me to feel a sense of connection with people–again, on a deep rather than superficial level. You allow me to be in control of my own time, and you leave me plenty of time for self-care on multiple levels.
I’m really looking forward to meeting you and getting down to work and play with you–the sooner, the better! Oh, and if I don’t seem to recognize you when you appear, please introduce yourself clearly so that I don’t mistake you for someone or something else.
Love,
Your Soon-to-Be Partner!
Michelle Russells last blog post..Why Getting Things Wrong is Vital to Your Well-Being
Oops! Because I think writing things down is powerful, I feel I should rephrase the first sentence in my “You” paragraph to read, “…but also lucrative fairly quickly so that I’m not EVER working in a state of financial panic.” :o)
Michelle Russells last blog post..Why Getting Things Wrong is Vital to Your Well-Being
Interesting! OK, here are a couple of intentions I’m putting out into the universe.
What I want: I love the job I have now. I love the team of people, the work I do, the connections that I make. My current contract ends at the end of July, though, and I really want to receive a contract extension – ideally for at least 6 months. 6 months of security! If this should happen I will dance in the street!
How I want to get it: I would like not to have to hassle for this. I don’t want to have to reapply for it, or apply for new jobs, or have any kind of stress or awkwardness about money or holiday time or fundraising. I have the utmost sympathy for my managers and I know money is very tight, but I also believe I’m worth it and my continued work would make a major difference.
Ways it could come to me: I get taken to one side and told that extra funding has come through, and my position is safe. I express my joy and gratitude and bring in gluten-free healthy fruit-based cake so everyone in the office, even those with special dietary requirements, can celebrate together. Or, I get an email with a wonderful congratulatory message. Or perhaps I’ll randomly bump into some fairy godmother/father, tell them my situation, and they’ll wave a magical financial wand and say, “Make it so!” (I realise the benefactor-in-disguise is a cliche of Victorian literature, but what is Havi’s blog if not a safe space for wild dreams and flights of the imagination?)
My commitment: If this should happen I will dance in the street! If I get a contract extension I will not take anything about my work for granted. I’ll turn up on time and do everything cheerfully and joyfully, I will look on difficult phonecalls as challenges, and I’ll keep doing extra work out of hours. I will spread the love!
From sitting here feeling faintly anxious as I started typing, I’m actually feeling much more warm and calm now. I guess I realise I should be focusing on the good and positive things in my life, and the things that I can affect in a positive way, rather than worrying about something which hasn’t happened yet.
Thanks for giving me the chance to expand on this – and I’d like to add my positive intentions to those of everyone else who’s made a wish above.
Rosies last blog post..rosieclarke: Clio Bluestocking’s thoughtful assessment of a brilliant book – My Name Is Asher Lev (warning, contains spoilers) http://is.gd/1idDf
HEY KAREN! I found this link from @JoannSondy. Hope it helps!
http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/06/12-essential-rules-to-follow-when-designing-a-logo/
This so relates to what I was thinking yesterday, about the difference between wanting and asking for help, and helplessness. And how, despite my Stuff wanting to make it so, they are totally not the same thing.
I would love, dear universe, to have some new clients come into my life. People who want awesome art on their walls that’s all about their things that they love. People who need design and appreciate that a designer is more than just someone who deals with html or printing specs, but that good design is an end unto itself. People who are ready to step forward and get started sometime sooner rather than later.
Also, I think I may be ready to stop being alone quite so much, and would like to meet a gentleman friend. I feel I have sufficiently cocooned to prove to myself and my monsters that I can do it on my own and be happy, and would like to start doing things with someone else for a while.
Love,
Me! 😉
PS – It would be great if my Shiva Nata DVD showed up today, too. Just sayin’.
Amy Crooks last blog post..The Exercise Conundrum
I could use help finding new doctors. How did using this process lead you to yours?
claires last blog post..40th Anniversary of Stonewall Riots
Briana, feel free to contact me. I might be able to help with the website.
Barbara J Carters last blog post..One Angry Rattlesnake
Freecycle! Or Naked Lady Party where you can have a fun clothes swap. yay!
I’ve done this (thanks to you) with mixed results. Sometimes it works and sometimes…I’m still waiting.
Right! So my ad to the Universe:
MERCH GIRL SEEKS FINANCIAL SUSTAINABILITY
Creative eccentric passionate dabbler seeks means of being able to pursue her heart’s desire while also being able to pay bills, pay rent, and feed belly. Said dabbler would rather be able to sleep on a comfortable bed with her matey and not worry about money, instead of being a homeless foreigner.
YOU ARE: any combination of the following:
* An ethical sustainable at-least part-time job paying at least AUD$30,000/year, which allows me to make a comfortable income while developing my skills and being connected to interesting motivated people, without being sucked into politics and hypocrisy. Level doesn’t matter, as long as it’s something I can do a good job in and has a great working atmosphere.
* Funding and/or support for The Merch Girl so I can make it into an awesome business without worrying about lack of funds
* Funding and/or support for me as an emerging creative artist and/or interesting person
* Projects that are interesting and good and compensate well
* Another fascinating good ethical interesting way of self-sustainability that I haven’t imagined yet
YOU ARE NOT:
* the result of someone’s untimely death (so no family inheritances please!)
* A product of crime and/or unethicalness
* Attached with strings that reveal undesirable conditions
* Attached with hate, discrimination, nastiness, ickiness, hypocrisy, soul-suckage, drama, and anything else that makes me cry
WHAT I WILL DO:
* Treat you with respect, honour, and care
* Work my best into any venture I involve myself with
* Use my sustained self to support other eccentric creative young artists who don’t quite fit in anywhere
* Work on spreading love with my work and creative interactions instead of getting caught up in drama
* Love you forever
Feel free to get in touch if you have any ideas!
Tiaras last blog post..Acapella Toto’s "Africa" – being moved out of a funk
I should also add “you are not more money from my parents which only comes with filial piety issues” because I’m trying to be financially independent from them. Doing that and being able to live is proving difficult tho.
Tiaras last blog post..Acapella Toto’s "Africa" – being moved out of a funk
Okay, let’s see…
Friendly organizing coach seeks creative types (which means a lot more people than you might think) who want to get their business organized and productive but don’t know how.
You: creative, self-employed or in a small business, ready to go to the next level but understand that it’s hard to get there with all those piles getting in the way.
Me: also creative, also self-employed, eager to help, buzzing with the prospect of showing you a new way to look at your stuff, your work and yourself.
You’re brave (which is not the same thing as not scared), you love to learn and you understand that coaching is an investment that pays major dividends.
I’ll be kind, but that doesn’t mean I’ll always go easy on you. I’ll show you how you can get organized, rather than sorting everything out for you and presenting you with a finished space that might as well need an operating manual. I’ll help your space and your systems reflect and support everything about you.
Felt kinda dorky writing it out, but I think after a few more drafts, it’ll feel pretty good.
OMG, Tiara, I love your ad!
Intriguing! Well, I don’t want any stuff, but here is what I would like:
Wanted: 1 day just for me.
What the day won’t have:
– Errands
– People throwing shoes at me (I’ve had enough thrown at me in the past 10 days to open a store)
– Work related emails
– Class preparation
– Alarm clocks
What the ideal day would have:
– Gentle exercise, preferably out in nature
– Flowers! As in planting them.
– Good food.
– Hugs with hubby
– Naps
– Reading for FUN!
Serious applicants only!
in a rush, but Community Services for the Blind will pick up donations in my area. You can make an appointment and leave your donation out on the porch. Maybe they are in your area, too.
Seeking a cure for metastatic bone cancer (secondary to breast cancer) for my Mom. This cure should not be worse than the disease and cannot cost a lot. Free preferable. Believe me when we tell you we will love this cure like an infertile couple welcoming their first baby into their family.
And while we’re on the subject of health, for myself, I would like a surgery-free removal of a benign thyroid nodule. As in I would like to be able just to get rid of it like so much under-the-bed dust bunnies, or a bag full of no-longer needed clothes. Perhaps someone could suggest a donation bin?
Make Me Love You! Skittish but committed (and over-committed) writer seeks regular rendez-vous with works-in-progress. I need to spend an hour with you every day for, say, the next 6 weeks. Fabulous boundaries a must: alluring, demanding, and counterproductive distractions WILL try to intervene. You’ve got to be easy to find and maintain–if I have to fight for you, you will lose. And I want you to woo me; I’ve been avoiding, denying, resisting our attraction. If we’re going to click–and I want us to!–you’re going to have to do some persuading, at least at first.
If you come through for me, I can promise you that I will treat you with respect, kindness, and gratitude, and share you with that part of the world that has been waiting for you. Thank you.
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Havi,
I love your site, I’ve only been reading about a month and I’ve already had hot buttered epiphanies, even without the Shiva Nata. Speaking of which, I must have created a small personal ad for the starter kit, because money opened up in my next paycheck and I will be able to purchase it. Yay for me!
My small personal ad is to get to have coffee, dinner, a beer, spend a little time with a friend who’s in town. Whatever he’d like to do. He lives on the other side of the country and is leaving tomorrow and I just don’t get to spend much one-to-one with him.
I am willing to drive to where he is, go wherever he wants, spend as much time as he is able, even pay for dinner. It will be relaxed and easy, and given that he’s leaving tomorrow, a nice way to spend his last evening here.
Daynas last blog post..Better U, better me
I want a job/ a way to make a living which is nurturing and supportive to my spirit and to be ok with the unknowingness of it all while it all works out.
~~~
A month or two back I had a simply awful lodger expreience and a friend told me to ask my guardian angel for one. I had to say it out loud and say please and thank you. Desperate I did so (I’m a born again atheiest) and it WORKED ! I have a simply delightful lodger now.
creativevoyages last blog post..celestial spaceships
Man, this is fascinating. And really inspiring. So many sweet words and useful thoughts here! Wow.
And the generosity! I love how everyone is showing up for everyone else. Look at all these great connections. AWESOME.
@Jason – oh, not at all! I think “Havinate” is my new favorite word.
And my off-the-top-of-head suggestion (but I haven’t read your ad yet, heading over there now) would be to write to one of your best friends about the kind of people you want to live with and how you imagine the ideal situation.
And then to translate that back into a more first-person-ey kind of ad.
@Christina – sending love and comfort to you and your beautiful ad. May it plant all the right seeds!
@Communicatrix – you rock, lady. I love you!
Let’s see.
I used this to get several jobs (one in Houston, two in Atlanta).
I also used it to get from Atlanta to Denver and the mountains. Completely paid for, by the company that I was working for.
I use it all the time to find keys. (I just ask them where they are, and when they are tired of hide and seek, I find them.)
I used it to find this house that I’m in. I even drew a floor plan. So – when I walked in, it was very easy to recognize.
I also used it to get the time to start my own business. I didn’t realize that would involve being laid off, but I’m ok with that part of it now.
Anyhow, it has been working for me for a while.
But, my logical brain still thinks its just weird.
Meredith
Merediths last blog post..Free Learning for the (about to) Start-up Biz
Hi – I’m so inspired by the creativity in everyones’ posts!
I have been thinking a lot lately about the concept of asking for what I want and I have only just started to appreciate how powerful it is to write things down. Writing requires that we (well, that I) take ownership and either articulate what I want or be willing to take whatever comes if I write something vague. For years I’ve been asking for “change” in my life. That was my entire request – just “change” – and technically, I got it, but in the form of new bosses, different offices, loose fillings and not the amazing new job, joyful romance, or exciting travels that I was really hoping for. But I thought asking for specific things was unseemly, and that one (me) should accept whatever was given, even if one (me) was overworked, felt starved for vitality and wondered all the time if there wasn’t something more.
It wasn’t until I began writing down specific requests that I started getting the changes I truly wanted, and I only turned to writing things down because my best friend sent me a box marked “Forty Wishes.” Inside were 40 pennies and in order to keep track of all 40 wishes I had to write them down. I figured what the heck – I wasn’t telling anyone anyway so if nothing came of it, nobody would be the wiser. But what happened completely surprised me. 1) I started OWNING my wishes – I asked for what I really truly wanted – and 2) they started coming true.
I am still asking for huge, profound change in my life, but instead of making my typical (vague yet sweeping) request and then hoping someone else will notice and give it to me, I am identifying and asking for what I want in small increments, one itty-bitty, specific and heartfelt request at a time. I know that they’re all adding up to one big juicy loving personal ad for my life that I’m not quite (but am almost) courageous enough to see in its entirety. So right now it’s a bit like a jigsaw puzzle where you’ve lost the box top – I’ve only figured out how a few of the bits go together, not enough to form a complete picture, but I love every piece I can see.
So far I have asked for and received: a new President, I have started finding “my people”, and I can explain what it is that I want to do with my life. Not bad for someone who doesn’t have a lot of practice in asking for what she wants. There are so many more things I’m asking for – a singing group to join, a bamboo couch for the balcony, to find a wonderful set of first clients for my new business, to able to spring back to chaturanga from bakasana – and in the past I would have told every one of those thoughts to pipe down but now I can’t get them all written down fast enough. I know they won’t all come at once (thank goodness!) but instead of expecting any one of them to appear fully formed in my life, I know that writing them down and wanting them is the first step to receiving them, and that one by one, I’ll figure out where each piece fits in the puzzle of my life.
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HEY NANCY! That link was really wonderful! How cool is that! Thank you, –Karen
Ah, yes, manifestation. Has worked for me great in the past. No idea how, but I have received the weirdest stuff from dumpsters at the civic amenity site where I worked, which were kind of requested. Not just for me, but also for others. And I mean, very specific, and very unusual stuff – a hand clothe wringer, an electric heater with parabolic mirror, and wedges to stop parked horse carts rolling away (the last for a traveler who came past that dump). Beyond coincidence. It worked best with stuff that was needed, but maybe I was too modest. I like what Barbara Sher said. Thanks for the reminder, and the tip for doing the little ritual. I will start writing ads now. Hope you will get more of your’s answered.
Oh, and one thing that seemed to work better was loosely requesting the things, not too desperately. The best way I can describe it is with the great line I read somewhere “hold tight with loose hands”.
Love the post 🙂 here’s what happened to me, and it may seem disjointed at first:
I had some penpals and we did a “thing” where addresses of their penpals where forwarded around and we all sent a card with a lovely message to someone who we didn’t know, but who was a penpal pf a penapl (make sense?). Anyway I sent of my card to someone overseas and waited for mine to turn up, from someone who I didn’t know. time passed, nothing arrived. More time, still nothing.
Some months later I was meditating on angels, and asked for a sign of the presence of angels in my life.
The next day (I kid you not) I got my mail. Inside a card from America (I’m in Australia). I opened it up. A card with an angel on the front, a lovely traditional angel, sitting on a cloud, with a trumpet and big wings (she made me feel good just seeing her) and the words “rejoice” on the front. Inside was a short message, from someone who had gotten my address/name through the penpal network, and it was signed off by “Angelique”…….
Go figure…….
Lucy, I just want to say that I hope you find the perfect therapist for YOU and that you find peace with the cleaning thing. I hope you will lay all this out for any therapist you visit–how he or she reacts will help you figure out if there’s potential there. If it doesn’t seem like a good match, don’t force it and don’t worry! You will find the right person or they will find you.
(Also, cleaning yourself does not have to mean showering. maybe there’s a kinder gentler approach to getting clean that’s right for you. I hope something helpful finds you.)
Well I can think of a few things to do with that bag of clothes but if it were me…Id call my local womens shelter and offer them there. They would find a good useful home without being resold. Many women come in with the clothes on their backs.
I love reading your posts. Say hi to the duck for me!!
Wow! Powerful stuff here, both in the experiences and the asking. I’ve never taken this approach before — the over-developed rational side of my brain always balked. But my current state of mild financial panic has gently persuaded me to give it a go. I guess readiness comes in different flavors.
Here’s what I want:
People to start showing up who are ready and willing – no, EAGER – to buy my artwork. Not just admire it, praise it, fawn over it – BUY IT. Collect it and love it. Tell their friends about it. Also, one or two people (or sets of people) who know I am the one to do their photographic project for them. They believe artists are people too and will respect my work, my ethos, and me so much that haggling about my day rate will not even cross their minds. Must be honest, caring, and enlightened enough to treat me as an equal, a partner in the process. We will establish mutual trust by sharing any or all of the following: conversation, coffee, wine, and laughter. We will feed off each other’s energy to create an image project that neither of us even dreams possible right now. We will rock – together!
Ways they could come to me:
* through my website or anyplace I can be found online: 1000Markets, Flickr, RedBubble, Facebook, Twitter;
* through this comment or over at Naomi’s place;
* through a mutual friend, artist colleague, former work colleague, luthier whose work I’ve photographed;
* through a venue that has hosted my work in the past;
* through any other surprising path the universe clears.
My commitment:
I will continue to make sensitive and irresistible images of whatever subject I train my lens upon. I will show up at my home studio every day eager to make images that surpass the ones I made the day before in quality, insight, and expression. I will use the sense of space and freedom these new relationships give me to help other local artists and arts groups move forward on their goals.
Thank you, Havi, for reminding me that we don’t get what we don’t ask for.
Hmm…so many beautiful thoughts and desires expressed here. It makes me happy just to read them, in part because I know that each person has taken the first step to receiving what they want. Synchronicity is such a funny thing. I was thinking just this morning how very much I wanted to accompany my daughter to London for grad school this September to help her settle in and find her wings. I know how very much she wants that too. And yet, it’s been so hard to ASK for that. And yet I did, and it seems like it might actually happen. I can’t tell you how amazed I was when I then read your post! And I will have to work next on finding my own Hoppy House, because I have known for several years that I couldn’t heal my relationship with my current space, in fact, didn’t want to. I will work on that. I promise 🙂
Lee Anns last blog post..Breakin’ Glass and Takin’ Names