It is Friday and we are here.
{a breath for Friday.}
What worked this week?
Leaving the moment I knew I didn’t want to be there.
Not my yes? Goodbye!
Also hearing a no in my head, and then circumstances just shifted so that I didn’t even have to say it. That was pretty neat.
Next time I might…
Trust my instincts more.
I knew what I needed and I didn’t give it to myself because of [people-pleasing tendencies].
I got the intel. I just chose to ignore it, and now I’m paying for it.
So that’s useful. And also I would like to stop doing this because it results in me feeling resentful and headachey, instead of peaceful and invigorated which is how I feel when I am in my YES.
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- It’s hot and I’m tired and busy, and all I want is to have a spa day (not a metaphor) and run away (maybe a metaphor, maybe not). A breath for passage.
- I am having trouble trusting the timing of something, even though all evidence points to All Timing Is Right Timing, both in general and regarding this situation in particular. A breath for meeting my impatience with legitimacy and with love.
- I found myself missing something that is bad for me. A breath for comfort and for trust.
- Oh man, I need more sleep and this weekend I’m in Seattle for four different dance events. A breath for emptying and replenishing.
- Experiencing frustration and resentment about all the ways I don’t take care of myself. A breath for patience, healing, remembering that I am doing the best I can.
- Big feelings. Sometimes even the really good ones are challenging. They are beautifully disruptive, and also they are just disruptive. A breath for being a clear bell.
- I know what I want and it scares me. A breath for courage.
- Inhale, exhale. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- I knew when my phone broke that nothing was wrong, and I was right. I have a beautiful new phone that only holds contacts and intel that delight me. I got some Spontaneous Unsolicited Upgrades of Treasure and Radiant Aliveness (SUUTRAS) that made this whole process much more pleasant. A breath for a clean slate, and for being able to find the good in a situation I would normally find very distressing.
- Trusting my yes, and saying no to things that aren’t a whole-hearted yes. A breath for courage.
- I arrived at a dance workshop and I didn’t want to be there. It wasn’t nervousness or weird energy. It just wasn’t my yes. So I left. Without questioning this or trying to logic myself into staying (“you came all this way, at least try it!”). The clues I got on the way back were better than anything I might have gotten from forcing myself to do a workshop. A breath for pleasure.
- Saturday night! An absolutely fantastic night of tearing up the dance floor at a very surreal Norse luau. Leveling up. Able to do things I didn’t get before, follow things I couldn’t handle before. Able to take risks and try crazy shit and not care if it backfires. A breath for play, pleasure, vitality, aliveness, delight in life!
- Dancing Wednesday night. Somehow even better. Oh, and my wish about Boldly Glowing and not turning down my sparkle came true. I mean, it came true all week long but on Wednesday I started to really feel how this wish was working under the surface in new ways. It turns out when this superpower is activated, even things that are normally not particularly interesting or pleasurable (standing around listening to the announcements) become magical and exquisite. A breath for every single thing about this.
- In the theme of “it’s a small world”, I walked out of my house and straight into someone I went to kindergarten with! Turns out that eighteen years ago he was roommates with my next door neighbor in Chicago, and he is here with his wife and kid for a visit. A breath for delightful crossing of paths.
- Rally X, the Week of Mystery, was just what I needed, surprise surprise. It was an unusual Rally, as only a Rally of X Marks the Spot, the X Factor and Getting to the Crux can be. Also it included a surprise power point presentation and some very interesting spirals. I got what I needed to get, and I also solved the mystery of What Am I Going To Do/Teach Next Year, so that was great. A breath for getting down onto the floor and resting into truth.
- Appreciation and thankfulness. Setting up good things for the ballroom. Wise counsel from Incoming me. Red lipstick. Lovely surprises. An extraordinary kaleidoscope talisman that is a reminder about both flowers and jewels. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. So many things are good. A breath for deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.
So close to being done with the book of Bridges and Crowns! Operation 33 is going great. Things are moving, and I did all the prep work necessary to set off on Operation Sexy Science I, which takes me to Seattle, seemingly away from sexy science but actually towards it. I will also be at a workshop called Swing Science, which is kind of perfect, and at a pig roast, which I wish were a proxy but sadly it is not. Wham Boom.
Superpowers!
Powers I had this week…
The power of wishes and the power of visiting worlds where I don’t want to live, to see what they are like.
Superpowers I want.
Same as last week but more so. The power of unapologetically and unwaveringly trusting my instinct. I did not do this a few times this week, and it bit me in the ass. So I am going to add to this the superpower of Wearing My Crown and the superpower of What Is Good For Me Is Good For The World.
Salve. The Salve of Wearing My Crown.
As soon as you rub this salve into your skin, a remarkable thing happens. You suddenly remember that you are the equal of everyone you encounter.
They are not bigger than you and not smaller. They do not have power over you, even if they are in a position of perceived authority. We are all capable adults. We are all made of stardust, filled with light.
It’s not so much that this salve solves interpersonal problems. It’s that when I wear it, I remember my serene, steady, powerful queenliness. And I see other people as capable of being at that level too. And then this approach changes how everything plays out, and that’s what “solves” things.
This salve changes how I carry myself, how I meet people and situations, how I respond. It’s a salve of taking a breath, a salve that heals reactiveness and expands presence.
This salve helps me get to my quiet hum of what is true for me. When I wear it, I don’t need to contort myself in an attempt to placate others or to conform to what I perceive to be their expectations. And I don’t need anyone else to do that for me. We are all equals. Each of us wearing our own crown, taking care of our own kingdom to the best of our abilities.
We do not have subjects. We do not have wars. We have internal spaces to learn about and protect and explore, aspects of ourselves who need love and attention, a whole world of imagination and creativity in which to invent, dream, wish and play.
Just like with last week’s salve, this one serves everyone. There is nothing selfish about it, just the opposite. Wearing this salve allows you to meet the world with more kindness, more spaciousness, more integrity, more peacefulness. This is part of the quiet peaceful revolution of sweetness. Wear it, as my grandmother used to say, in good health.
If salve does not appeal, you can have this in tea form, as a bath, cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band comes via Questing Lee and it’s called The Cleveland Chimper-Schmoo Quartet, they play vibrant plush jazz, and of course it’s just one guy.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
My writing/righting retreat is full. (PASSWORD: oneword)
Is this something you would want another chance at doing in the future? Let me know.
You don’t have to think you’re a writer, you don’t have to write, nothing is required other than that you want quiet time to be deeply creative, wildly inspired, and take some mostly self-guided time for internal exploration or whatever appeals to you.
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.
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“Experiencing frustration and resentment about all the ways I don’t take care of myself. A breath for patience, healing, remembering that I am doing the best I can.”
This. Exactly this. Thank you so much for this.
Vibrant plush jazz! I like it.
The good
– making a thing. Making several things. Knowing when to stop making things and go to bed.
– Another New Opportunity opens up. The glimmering of courage to leap for it. And a good friend has An Opportunity too.
– a moment of heavenly here-and-nowness on the train home
– baths are good.
The hard
– getting over a cold, so slooooowly
– sleeping too long in the day and ruining my sleep patterns
– fifty-eight miles is a long way, and platform zero is a long platform
– fun stuff that I absolutely cannot go to because it is too far away and I will only get ill again if I do
– all the things, all over the place. Two people being too tired to tidy but still wanting to get on with stuff and make a mess.
– wanting to do everything all at once. Patience and impatience.
Cluck cluck cluck.
Wow. The queen thing never sparked for me before. But to see that we are all wearing crowns and all capable of protecting and exploring our internal dominions — yes! We are at a lovely networking summit, enjoying our sovereignty together over tea and laughs.
And a queen serenely says yes only to her true yes too! Because that is a power that is not the war-causing yucky kind of power.
Hummmmmmmmm for internalizing what makes sense, of course.
I also say yes to trusting instinct!
Also, self care is taking care of myself. Yes, duh. But that wording suddenly makes me really understand that self care is more than bubble baths. It’s taking care of a being’s needs so it survives and thrives. It may be an everyday, un-glorious, maybe unappreciated but necessary set of actions that is awe-inspiring in the bigger picture.
YES YES YES YES and more YES to all of this, beautifully true and beautifully said. <3
It’s so refreshing to read these Chickens every week! They are inspiring me to finally try end-of-week rituals for myself in a way that doesn’t feel forced. Have been lurking again on your fabulous site and enjoying it immensely.
Also, waving a big wooshy love-filled hi from Seattle! Hope it treats you well this weekend!
Happy Chickening! And hand on heart sighs for the right goodbyes.
The Hard:
The Date on Sunday which was blah and meh. And knowing this is not the right way for me, but not having a different way.
Some days where “what is the point?” is running through my mind more often than not. And where “I think I’m done” is on the ticker tape. A breath for waiting for those to pass.
The Utterly Lovely:
The perfect right office falling into my lap at the perfect right time, because of the work I had done and the things I had thought and the word I put out on the street of what I wanted. And there it was. And now it is mine. With no doubts. And all the energy that will be in it will be the energy I allow in, which will be a delight.
A long weekend to just be home. And being okay with saying “I’m staying home this weekend.”
A new walking route with a hill so high I can see the ocean.
“What’s the point?” “I think I’m done.” — I had this track running in my mind tonight, too. Ugh! Cheers to passing clouds and passing thoughts…
And so, so happy for you that you found a hill that takes you to an ocean view. Wow! This is honestly the best thing I have heard today and the only thing that has made me happy way down in my belly. Thank you! Next time you’re up on the hill with the ocean, blow a kiss to it for me, will you? Smiling for real here… 🙂
There is just nothing better than the Fake band of the week. Nothing. It makes me laugh out loud *every* week. One million sparklepoints for Just One Guy!
Norse Luau! How is that not this week’s band? I LOVE THIS.
It’s been a while since I came to the chicken coop, but every time I do, I’m really glad to be here.
The hard and surprising of this week:
– being retriggered and feeling lost about what to do to prevent it in the future.
– feeling an intense feeling that i can’t say i’ve ever felt before. little scary.
– jumbled schedule, feeling disorganized
– main client hadn’t given me work in three weeks and then finally says it’s going to be half as much as before going forward. ego flare about their lack of consideration in not communicating better with me.
breath for the hard and surprising.
The good and surprising of this week:
+ First off, I am so GLAD that all that stuff up above is not who I am. Phew! Deep breath for recognizing that. It’s stuff that happened, but it’s not ME.
+ Very, very, very exciting progress on mission that feels oh-so-right and oh-so-fun as I continue following all the little cookie crumbs that I keep finding about it. This whole thing lights me up and makes me excited to be alive. Wheee!
+ Almost two weeks into my special adjustments to what I eat and it’s easier than I thought it would be.
+ The video of the baby lamb hopping down a hallway that I saw today on HuffPo. Did you see it!?
+ Knowing that Havi is so consistent and faithful with her blog so that I can come whenever I need to be in this kind of space. I really love and appreciate that.
Thank you for being here, everyone! xo
Hello chickeneers!
Hard and Good, mixed:
– My magic feather is gone. Turns out I can fly without it. But it’s a little scary, and every patch of turbulence has me grabbing for my feather, which is not there.
– People have been emailing me the *nicest* things! My inbox feels so loving right now.
– I am X-ing all over the place. And enjoying it, which is how I know it’s not Y.
– Too many people, and too few.
– There is a lovely little Farmer’s Market a few blocks from my house, and everyone there speaks Spanish!
– Eating corn and potatoes (not at the same time). Two foods I’ve been missing!
– Hanging out with someone who was high. Really, if we’d been hanging out it would have been fine, but we were trying to do something together and it was stressful.
– My literal chickens, who are sweet and funny.
– Came to a difficult ethical decision which was definitely worth it. Now in the exciting “taking the plunge” part of things.
– Painters trampled my plants. Rage forming a thin skin over so much sadness.
– Too long without rain. I’m struggling to keep my plants alive.
– We happened to be at Wallace park and accidentally caught the early season of swifts! Probably only 500-1000, but it was still a simply magical sight.
– My body hurts. A lot.
– It’s been months now, but I’m still so happy that my kid sleeps through the night. Eight hours! Every night! And this week I was less insomniatic, so I truly *am* getting eight hours a night.
– My daughter is talking. Finally. It’s really fun.
What a beautiful chicken. 🙂 xxxx
smiles
I am on a romantic weekend getaway, so I will just pause long enough to say three things:
1. This week, for me, there has been more good than hard, and I am very thankful.
2. This week’s salve is, if possible, even more perfectly precisely what I need than usual. I shall let it nourish all my superpowers. THANK YOU.
3. I am lighting my candle, and sending love… <3
Chicken Amnesty invoked!
This week’s Yays and Oh, Goods:
Earlier in the week, I realized that I “felt like summer”. Depression can make everything seem as bleak as the worst winter days, regardless of the season. Feeling like summer is relaxed, leisurely, sociable, fun.
An interesting and important realization seems to have landed. I say “seems” because I know it’s important and if I act on it and/or because of it, then it will prove to be more than an intellectual spark. Intellectual understandings happen a lot but don’t always result in action. When something has truly landed, it does.
Wrapped up this summer’s Continuation Class. Students gave me a nice thank-you gift and said lovely things about the class and my teaching.
This week’s Oh No’s:
One of the Anagram Projects that I finished recently needs to be done again.
I am planning a fiesta for my students on Tuesday (Yay!) and there’s a lot to be done to get the house ready for that (Oh, no!) and because of the holiday, my helper Wes won’t be here this week (Oh, no!). And the thing most urgently needed is yard work — so guess who gets to do that?
Animals knocked over the garbage can and spilled/strewed garbage around in the back yard. Ugh!
Extra care-giving responsibilities for the weekend.
Waving to the chickeneers!
hello and Cluck!!
what worked this: many things i did not try. i sucked at all forms of well-tending. but lots of clues came thru so yea!
the suck:
-work sucked at times, sometimes for me, sometimes for those around me
-Bolivia is one tough town, holy shit. 3 hours of back to school cnferences, etc.
-the King’s Great Matter
-so touch deprived that i’m trying to scrape up enough for a massage.
-my credit card is so close to maxed it’s not funny. i have had to put a thousand dollars on it this month, so maybe i can hack it down but this fucking worrisome.
-i want i want i want
-migraines
-missing my workout fr weeks, off my practice, slack and hating my body’s appearance mostly. yeah that covers it.
– i didnt just abandon Best Practices this week, i flung them away with great force. even as i was doing it i was thinking WTF? a breath for this.
the sparkle:
-lots of Guidance coming thru the static finally
-finding lots of little habits of health
-just this moment had a crazy-stupidly-obvious epiphany re: migraines
-beautiful weather
-progress on so many ops, and clues to so many wuestions.
-gratiude
i’m happy