Fluent Self Item!A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.

Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.

Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.

Ha. It really is Wednesday this time. Not even faking it.

Though I do find it extremely reassuring that I can channel the essence of Wednesday pretty much whenever I want, just by Itemizing.

Item! Post No. 42 in a series that might possibly be tangentially related to … life, the universe and everything. We’ll see. 42!

Item! Paint your walls with ideas.

Mark turned me on to this.

I want.

I mean, look at it.

He’s @MarkHeartOfBiz on Twitter.

Item! People horrified to say what they actually do.

Speaking as someone who dreads being asked what she does*, it was just wonderful to read this perfect, perfect Onion piece about that very thing happening to someone who does something way more depressing than what I do.

Except when it’s way worse funnier when it what people do is incredibly depressing and somehow they’ve never realized that.

“Increasingly Horrified Man Listens To Self Explain What He Does For A Living”

It’s incredibly sad and hysterically funny.

* Oof. Why does it matter what I do? I make a very good living doing it and it involves a duck. I refuse to say anymore!

Item! This is a classy About page.

It’s hard not to like someone whose surname is Lightheart.

Andrew is great.

And his new about page? Even better. Also he wrote a post about chipmunks thinking he’s fat.

“I’m not an expert. I do however have a deep interest in conflict and crisis and how we deal with it, and how we can not be controlled by our biology and our programming and stuff.

I’m just some guy in a t-shirt with a cat who spends his days teaching presentation skills (in a suit, without the cat) but who hopefully will come up with some useful stuff as things go on.”

Love. It.

He’s @alightheart on Twitter. Of course he is!

Item! A Gladwellian moment of fabulousness.

Huge Malcolm Gladwell fan, obviously.

This Vanity Fair parody piece is the best thing in the entire world.

“On every accepted level, Santa Claus is a total loser.

Yet this is a man who heads up a brand that commands 98 percent global recognition. Furthermore, he is universally adored.”

Thank you, Twitter. I wish I remember who pointed me here.

Item! Wonderful things to say (or not) at Thanksgiving.

A sweet, pretty post from Lydia at the Clueless Crafter blog with excellent quotes from Elsa Maxwell on the Art of Lively Entertaining.

“I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life.”

Also, Lydia wishes you a supreme gustatory gathering. If that doesn’t make you happy, I don’t know what will.

She’s @cluelesscrafter on Twitter.

Item! The world’s first live mashup rock band!

Just look at them.

That picture makes me way too happy.

So yes. The world’s first live mashup rock band.

Of course, I’m dying to say … it’s just one guy. But yeah, not true. So I’ll wait until Friday to say that.

Heard about this from one of my hugest Twitter-crushes who is the ever-fabulous @sfslim.

Item! So you’re probably wondering who my Twitter addictions are.

That’s why I made a list.

There’s lots of people I follow. Lots of people I madly adore. These are the ones I’d have to take with me to the desert island, if you could bring Twitter to a desert island. Please say that’s possible.

Come on in, boys and girls. The water is fine. I’m @havi and I’ll buy you a drink. Made out of a kazoo.

Item! Writers deserve to get paid, people.

Ever since hearing Barbara Sher‘s excellent rant about how your message is really anything that makes you raise your voice, I have been paying attention.

And this bit from Harlan Ellison is a Message with a Capital-M. That’s some quality upset-ness. And quality conviction.

It’s a controversial topic. And he’s not even slightly apologetic about where he stands on it.

And I think that is marvelous.

Go take three glorious minutes to watch it and cheer. Because that is a man who believes in something and needs you to know about it.

Found this via the excellent (but extremely private) @harlemwriter on Twitter. Tell him I said he’s cool.

Item! Are you in San Francisco and do you have a thing?

Robert Friedman teaches occasional classes at the SBA on “branding”.

This is something I thought was really, really gross until I took one of his classes, about three years ago.

Okay, I still think the word is gross, but I got a lot of good stuff. And perspective.

More specifically, I went in there thinking ew ew ew, and came out thinking that my business can be fabulous and sexy. Big turning point.

Plus that was where I met my friend Lisa, which, as I keep telling you guys, is the best reason to go to retreats and take classes and stuff.*

*Not because you’ll meet my friend Lisa, but because you will make life-changingly great connections.

Anyway, Robert is teaching his Build a Strong Consulting Brand class on December 1st at the San Francisco SBA and it doesn’t cost anything.

If you’re doing anything small-business-ey or vaguely entrepreneurial in the Bay Area, do it. Go!

Item! Update from the land of the Peculiar & Hilarious Shivanauts!

The “peculiar and hilarious” thing comes from Melynda’s sweet bit about Butterfly Wishes.

Why you can totally dislike Dance of Shiva and still be one of my Right People.

Item! Comments! Here’s what I want this time:

  • Things you’re thinking about.
  • Something fun to do while not doing Thanksgiving tomorrow.

My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.

Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.

That is all.

Happy reading.

And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow. It’s American Thanksgiving, so Selma and I will be doing our (now annual) List Of Things That Don’t Completely Suck. Good times.

The Fluent Self