So today marks two years since my very first blog post.
Of course the site itself is older — this baby was born in August 2005. So I’d actually been publishing articles and putting out a regular email noozletter for years.
But this was the day I really, truly moved my writing online.
And it was terrifying. And took me months of agonizing to start.
Here we are.
Five hundred and sixty seven posts later.
Yes, you are correct. That is kind of insane.
Anyway.
I just re-read my first post and only cringed about seventeen times. Which is good, because it means the thing that I wanted to happen happened:
I got comfortable here. Eventually.
More about that.
Stuff I’ve gotten from having this space:
Okay, so I still sometimes find myself with a shaky finger hovering over the pooblish button.
Yes. Pressing the pooblish is the scary.
But those moments are more rare now. Maybe once every couple weeks instead of every single day. Usually I’ll just write a piece and be done with it.
Having the blog has given me a daily writing practice. I don’t post everything I write. Some of it is just for me.
But there’s a commitment there.
Also, I miss you guys when I’m not here.
The things I love about blogging:
It’s a safe way to spend time with Tinkerbell Writer Me without having to think of it as “writing”.
Cheapest therapy ever.
It’s a way to practice Very Interior Design.
And to learn about boundaries.
It teaches you how to make clear requests for what you want. And to clearly explain what you don’t want.
The way personal rituals can become group rituals. Which makes them just that much more powerful.
It warms my heart to read about everything the Chickeneers of the High Seas go through during their week, and the things they share with each other on Fridays. Same goes for the Very Personal Ad collective that meets here on Sundays.
Also I like watching what happens when you create a really, really safe space.
Because it will always surprise you.
My commenter mice have become friends with each other, started blogs, found writing partners, visited each other, bought each other’s stuff, invented rituals and found surprising ways to support each other.
It is the most beautiful thing.
The things I still have trouble with about blogging:
Trying not to let it become the biggest should in the entire world.
Trying not to care so much.
The fact that people who know me in real life sometimes read this.
Learning the hard way what kind of stuff I need to put in the comment zen section. Though asking people not to give advice or try to fix my problems knocks out about 99% of Things That Set Off My Stuff.
The one thing I absolutely cannot stand:
When people say, “Wow, your writing has really improved.”
Here’s what I want to say: “I’m sorry, are you T.S. Eliot? Did the nobel laureate commission leave you in charge of determining whose writing is good? I don’t believe I asked you to give judgment on my creative process. Go. Away.”
Here’s what I actually say: “Uh, okay.”
I get that it’s meant to be nice. And I don’t care. Not useful.
Useful things I’ve learned:
Not as many people will think you’re as crazy as you are imagining they will.
Even the posts that I’ve thought are stupid and pointless have helped someone.
Actually, those stupid-and-pointless posts get a lot more thank you for saying this responses than the ones I personally think are brilliant.
There is so much kindness.
Total strangers have the capacity to be genuinely happy for me. And I can be genuinely happy for them.
You don’t need to have a “topic”. Seriously.
I’ve written about living in Berlin and throwing shoes and my friend who is dead.
About monsters and iguanas and chickens and the Greek chorus in my arms.
About self-help-ey stuff and business stuff and mindfulness stuff and yoga stuff and falling-apart stuff.
About sponsoring roller derby and building a Playground and going on a picnic with Metaphor Mouse.
Somehow it all works.
Some thank yous:
To Kelly, again, for making me start.
To Selma for being my muse and my companion.
To my gentleman friend for reading every single one of my posts — and making most of them better.
To my friends at the Twitter bar, for being welcoming and hilarious.
To Akismet for blocking nearly fifty thousand spam comments. I checked. Awesome.
To everyone who reads.
To all the commenter mice and the Beloved Lurkers and the Chickeneers of the High Seas and anyone I have neglected to mention.
I adore you. That is all.
Follow
Happy blog-birthday, Havi! ^__^ *streamers* *party hats* *confetti* *pirate cake*
Ah, it’s so nice to hear you say you don’t need a topic. I was kinda hoping that was true, but not willing to really believe.
Maybe a mood, or a secret mission can stand in for a topic? Anyway, many happy returns, thanks for giving away so much with your words.
Havi, happy birthday to your on-line creation. I’m so glad to have found you and Selma in this doughy-soft, safe haven. I love visiting you here and am grateful to have ‘met’ some of the commenter mice.
I’m still fumbling my way through my blog (through life!) but it has become more comfortable and a lot of that has to do with what I find here!
On the topic thing-after looking at my blog for all of 3 seconds a friend of mine said ‘yeah I think you need two blogs’ in reference to me covering art+creativity, style and soul-searchy stuff. Bleurch. Made me feel bad. Just wanted to hear yay you, it looks great well done.
Held my ground. Centred my crown and said it was *my* space and this is how I wanted to express myself. Wanted to poke my tongue out but I didn’t.
Have fun today, smile, eat cake 🙂 xxx
.-= Nats´s last post … Exhale into the ease: When it’s easy to say YES! =-.
Happy blogiversary! Two years, huh? I’m not sure when I found you. Maybe about a year ago? You’ve helped me in more ways than you can imagine, so thank you for that. I actually believe in my ability to do what I need to do to make my thing full time. A lot of longstanding fears that were holding me back just vanished. I will rule the world! Er, I mean, I will be a full time fiber artist. That’s more me.
.-= Riin´s last post … Weaving, weaving, weaving… =-.
Happy, happy blogaversary, Havi! I’m so grateful that you’ve created this warm, clear space for writing, community, and gathering together.
Yay for pointless posts–posts are meant to be rounded, aren’t they?–and for all the transformation and healing that happens here. May your blog continue to nourish your heart, and the hearts of all who love you and your work.
Love,
Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … A Capella =-.
Happy blog-birthday! I’m so glad you’re here, sharing with us. I adore you too. 🙂
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … Running up Space Mountain =-.
Millions of congratulations!
Although I don’t always say much, I am really glad I found you. Both the environment and the people are very real and helpful.
I agree with the blogs-not-needing-a-single-theme comments – I am sure Barbara Sher would approve – Yey for scanners!
Much love on your blogeth-day,
Meg
Wow only two years since the first blog post. Seriously, if I relied on what my memory told me, I’d swear it’s been sooooo much longer than that.
Either way, congratulations and Happy Birthday!
Mmmmm cake
I’m so glad you were borned and please, please, please stay for many more years.
Happy blogiversary! I’m very glad you’ve created this place. You and the crowd that you’ve attracted to this place have helped me in many ways. My weeks are not complete without some Havi-wisdoms and off-topics in them. So thank you. And I adore you too.
Happy blogiversary! And I adore you back. If I only had time to read one thing in the morning before work, it was your blog. I have gotten so much goodness from my visits here. xoxo
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … there is beauty for the beholder =-.
Oh happy day! Happy bday Havi’s blog!
@Elizabeth, I agree, this blog is the first thing I read after email in the morning. It kind of centers and calms me. Reading
Fluent Self is like therapy!
I have learned so much information from Havi’s blog, but more than that, I love the feeling of this blog. It really does have its own quirky, safe vibe.
Thanks for celebrating with me. It’s really sweet and really appreciated. I totally feel the long thank you thing coming on so I’m going to run out the door and hide for a few minutes. Mwah!
Happy Blogiversary! Wow! You go girl, ya done good. And you’ve helped a lot of people…me for instance.
Thank you!
Happy blogday! Only two years? There is so much goodness here that it seems like it’s been much longer than that. Thank you.
Congrats! You rock and you know that!! I was about to say something sentimental, but then you wouldn’t know who I was…..
i love the part about “wow, your writing has really improved” well, what i mean is, i loved the part about not being able to stand when people say that. A person from my past recently said to me “remember how you always did those cute little arts and crafts things, you had fun doing the most boring things.”
ummm, okayyyy. gosh what do you say to stuff like that? After all, I’m STILL doing arts and crafts, in fact that’s kinda what i spend ALL my time doing. It’s actually kinda funny; in an odd, twisted, yeah-right sort of way.
but enough about that. Happy Happy oh Happiest of blogiversaries! So glad you do it. I just love reading what you have to say!
Congratulations!!
I’m so glad you do this – you remind me of all sorts of things that are so helpful, like it being ok to figure out how to make something fun even though it needs to happen…..
And I’ll take this opportunity to say how much I love your writing. When I read your posts, it’s almost like your reading to me and I can hear you. All of my favorite writing does that for me.
So thanks!!
And here’s to many many more years!
Andy
high five! low five! around the back five! yay and happy birthday…you are amazing!
Here’s to many more years of you keeping it real for the rest of us 🙂 Happy anniversary!
What a wonderful celebration I have found here!
All the people commenting – you rock!
Havi –
I have so enjoyed visiting your site! Your writing, your insight and honesty have pulled me through some really challenging times (end of last year mostly). I am so thankful for you, your effort and your willingness to share yourself.
Not needing a “theme” was info I needed to read/hear.
You help, support and inspire so very many!!!
Yay!!! Celebrate away!!!!
.-= Maya´s last post … Traveling through time…getting it right =-.
Yay to Havi! And ooh I didn’t know Kelly was the one to get you going… now that adds a whole new twist. I love Kelly and think it’s so awesome to be able to see both of you doing such amazing stuff in the world. 🙂
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s last post … Homemade Acne Treatments? How About Foods that Prevent Acne =-.
Happy 2-year blogaversary! Hooray!
This:
I don’t believe I asked you to give judgment on my creative process. Go. Away.
Yes.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Painting dots… lots of dots =-.
Havi and Selma! Happy blogday!! 🙂 I’m so happy you started blogging two years ago. You bring so much love into the world. What a happy, happy day.
Yay.
🙂
Love!
Danielle
Congrats, Havi! I remember when you were debating the leap and how much you dreaded your snoozletter. The blog makes it more like checking in with you… more like chatting on the phone or having tea together. I love it. Oh ya, and you help so. many. people.
xoxo
.-= Michelle Marlahan´s last post … Introducing… =-.
Happy birthday/anniversary, and thank you, Havi and Selma!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … All you need is love. Thank goodness for that. =-.
Happy blogiversary!
So many of your posts have struck a chord with me. Thank you!
Happy goddamn dippy dappy blog Birthday Anniversary Beauty! Mwuahhhh!you have sooooooo much to be proud of. Don’t ya sweetpea? Don’t ya? Yesssss! Such a gorgeous, divine space. Wishing you all the things you need to travel whereever you please and however you see fit within and without the blogging space that is your kingdom.
Love you cupcake. I clink my goblet of Yum Yum and nod my head in recognition. Havi and Selma – party onnnn! Happy Anniversary to you!
xxx
.-= Leila Lloyd-Evelyn´s last post … How authentic is your voice? What character traits & passion do you squash, sit on & crush? =-.
…..and we adore you.
Happy blogging birthday!
.-= carolina´s last post … Carta a 30 de mis libras =-.
no. correction. i nod my head at you. In awe APPRECIATION and thanks.
xxx
Happy Birthday to the blog! May it have many, many more. You are the best with the insights. Always thoughtful, smart, interesting, funny, and esecially unique. I have so enjoyed reading your blog since I found it (through Chris Guillebeau) six months ago. You rule! Your duck rules! Thanks!
.-= kristin gannon´s last post … Just Tea and No Milquetoast, Thank You =-.
Happy blogday, Havi – from a Lurker who, just for today, is raising her head above the parapet to wish you well!
.-= Rebecca´s last post … Topophilia =-.
Huzzah! Everything you said, only more so! Or the same-so! Or “just so!”
In yer honor, I have linked my moniker up with my own very first post from (gasp!) November of 2004. Not to say I’ve been doing it longer: just to say I did it worse, and for waaaaay longer.
What you’ve accomplished is breathtaking. I stand in awe and admiration, your senior in so many ways who has yet so, so (so!) much to learn from you.
Rock on, Shivanautical Pirate Goddess of the Intertubes and Beyond! And here’s to many, many happy returns of the day!
.-= communicatrix´s last post … Video Vednesday: Reducing visual clutter =-.
Congratulations!
Your path to blogging sounds much like mine. I started TTaT 5 years ago but used an anonymous LJ account a couple years before that while also putting out sporadic newsletters to friends & family starting in 2000. And before that there was more, well, writing.
I was paranoid at first. I put off starting TTaT for a few months because I was hung up on what to say and keeping it all high quality. That’s when I was thinking a book deal would magically fall in my lap- ha ha ha.
I feel much more serene about the whole thing now. Because I don’t have the comment traffic you do, I only super rarely get concerned about publishing something. If I feel weird about a post, I just write others to slowly bury it.
Anyway, thanks for writing. I’ve been reading for about exactly 1 year now and I’ve taken in a lot of useful information.
Oh, and I saw this great ep of Iconoclasts this week with Dave Chapelle & Maya Angelou. She told him: “Don’t pick it up, don’t set it down.” She was referring to accolades and disparaging remarks. Just say, “Ah.” Keeps your work and your value yours alone to gauge. 🙂
.-= claire´s last post … Sketchbook, page 33 =-.
Blog birthday sparkles and goodness and happiness and thank you so much for being you out here. Or on here? Hmm, maybe both.
Happy birthday to your blog! I only found it recently (though I don’t know how I could’ve missed this, given the amount of awesome content and that we live in the same town) but I’ve learned so many useful things by reading back through the archives, and I’m having fun trying shiva nata. I feel like it appeared at just the right time for me. So here’s to the years to come!
.-= Audrey´s last post … Finally posted notes from the Civic Engagement Meetup @osbridge dyepot-teapot… =-.
Happy Birthday Havi and Selma’s blog! Here’s to another year of woo-woo goodness.
.-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … Sermon: Sinful Women and Pharisees =-.
What I hear in your posts is the embodiment of sovereignty that I need to work on. In the meantime, I think someone should make you a red sovereignty crown to go with those fabulous sovereignty boots! Hmm, I’m getting new ideas for t-shirts!
.-= Shelley´s last post … Living Creatively =-.
Havi, I am totally thrilled for you. Happy birthday to you and your baby! And I want you to know that if I hadn’t read somewhere on Leo Babauta’s blog about you and then come here and DISCOVERED the wonder and beauty that is you I would not have my very precious and fun and scary and wiggy blog of my own that I look forward to seeing grow out of its poopy diapers.
YOur blog is EXACTLY what I need. Thank you. YOu. : )
huggy!
Two years! That was SUCH a long time ago in monster-years.
My monster isn’t even the same monster anymore. I am grateful for you and for this little home you’ve created on the internets and for the way you’ve helped me feel more at ease in my own little blog-home. Here’s to many more Incomprehensible Metaphors (it’s just one guy)!
.-= Kelly Parkinson´s last post … How to get a truck driver to trust you =-.
Happy Blogday! <3 🙂 Yay!
I just found your blog and I am REALLY EXCITED about it. CAPSLOCK excited, in fact. Especially the stuff about monsters. This is really helpful to me. I just wanted to let you know, and thank you for what you’re doing!
This is freaking great.
And, I like, others can’t believe it’s only been two years. My memory tells me longer. In fact, I can barely remember a life before Fluent Self and you.
My life has utterly changed since I first discovered you via Chris Guillebeau via Seth Godin. A large part of it? Your words.
LOOOOVE.
A
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Permission =-.
Congratulations, Havi. You’ve been doing a wonderful job. I’m new to your blog, new to the whole blogging experience actually. I found you when I was researching how to start up my own blog, and you have helped me enormously on a personal level. Typing “thank you” on my keyboard from across the ocean seems such a small thing to do and not in proportion to the help you give. How do you like to be thanked? you may have already posted the answer to that, but I haven’t read all of the archives yet!
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … Maisons-Laffitte Tennis Club =-.
Congratulations Havi. I can’t wait to read/experience everything that comes out of this place in the next two years. You’re really giving a gift to all of us, and we’re thankful every day.
.-= Holly´s last post … On stage fright and why you should get up and talk anyway =-.
Yay, happy 2 years!
I am a bit of a lurker, but an absolute adorer, anyway. What I love that I’ve gotten from you? I’ve imbibed your kindness, without really meaning to, so I notice myself being kinder talking to myself and others. And? Avoiding non-kind communicators.
A big thanks back to you for all of your interesting pieces and courageous sharing. That includes Shiva Nata!
xoxoxo
Jessica
Havi,
I don’t know how it happens but sometimes we find the exact thing we need at the exact moment we need it. I happened across this post today and I’m not sure exactly how I found you— but this article is beautiful gift for me today. I am a new blogger, filled with great fears about writing (am I good enough? will anybody read it? who cares?). Reading about what you love, and what you’ve learned along the way has given me a gentle nudge to just keep going on my path and trust the process. Thank you for your words of encouragement. And congrats.
Wow! How many posts??? I’m almost up to two years too and have only a smidge of your number. Well done. That really takes something. Thanks so much for your blog and your generous sharing. I get so much from it. SG x
.-= solidgoldcreativity´s last post … Diary of a Nobody =-.
I haven’t been reading for very long, but this is one of my favorite blogs and it seemed like an awesome thing to do to unlurk to wish you a happy blogversary!!!!!!
Happy Blog Birthday!
Can I tell you a secret, Havi … recently I was having problems with negative thoughts about the past. Those ones that make you cringe and think, “why on earth did I do/say that?!” They were really getting in the way. But then a few weeks ago I invented my Super Past-Deflecting Cape. I imagine wearing my cape – it’s blue and pink and sparkly (of course!). I throw my arms out wide and all those nasty depressing thoughts that’re trying to sneak up on me from behind go bouncing back to where they came from! I feel happy and strong again! If I hadn’t started reading your blog, I would probably never have thought of the Super Past-Deflecting Cape, and if I had, I would have thought it was a crazy idea and forgotten about it. So thank you for showing me that I can be the kind of crazy that I need to be, and it’s perfectly okay.
xx Katie.
.-= Katie´s last post … Extra Fast Speed Blogging =-.