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Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: a breadbox

Here’s what I want:

Last week I was puzzling over how odd it is that I can have something as beautiful and amazing as homemade sourdough bread made from Hoppy House yeasties, but then I just keep it in a plastic bag.

That seems kind of disrespectful to the bread. And to Hoppy House, who is my greatest love.

So I would like to find a beautiful wooden breadbox that is just the thing. It is simple, special — to me, and it feels like home. And I can afford it, or I can comfortably make the choice to invest in it.

Ways this could work:

Not sure.

Maybe you guys know people. Maybe one of my craft-ey Portland friends or friends-of-friends will have ideas.

I can ask Dana if she has ideas. Or maybe Hope would know.

My commitment.

To plant the gwish.

To keep my eyes open.

To tell everyone I know that this is what I’m looking for.

To talk to Hoppy House more.

Thing 2: my massage treatment

Here’s what I want:

I have two lovely body treatments that are gifts, none of which I’ve gotten around to actually using yet.

Even though I absolutely want to.

Ways this could work:

I could find out which parts of me are avoiding this (maybe they feel uncomfortable about some aspect of this?).

And I can ask slightly future me how we resolved this.

And I can use code words for the phone call, of course!

Bing! Sorry. Just had a total shivanautical realization as I was writing this that actually I could give this project to the First Mate and he could set it up for me.

My commitment.

To enjoy.

To do what I can to get better at this weird thing which is receiving. Or at least to get better at noticing what the patterns are around it.

Thing 3: on tour with the Guns N Rollers!

Here’s what I want:

Okay, so what I really, really want is a holiday.

And I know it might seem like I just had one but it’s been two Rallies (Rally!) since then, and I have been working my ass off.

Plus September is madness with the Shiva Nata Academy of Hilarity & Play, and the September Rally and the chagim.

So then I found out that GNR (the roller derby team I sponsor and do Shiva Nata with) will be in Medford, Oregon on August 20th.

What if I went somewhere near there for my holiday? Like Ashland. And then I could go to the bout and be the cheering section.

That would be awesome. And if it doesn’t happen then I want to go to Bend. Or Astoria.

Ways this could work:

Let’s see. I could:

  • talk the gentleman into going
  • plant it here
  • put it on the calendar, making it one step closer to actually happning
  • come up with an itinerary?
  • consult the Book of Me about ways to make it cheap, fun and useful.

My commitment.

Wheeeeee!

I really want to make this happen.

Thing 4: fun with the Shiva Nata destuckification and play series

Here’s what I want:

This Toozday is the first of my three part Shiva Nata series at the Playground. The series is sold-out, but you might be able to try for a drop-in at one of the classes. I’d email the First Mate and ask.

I want it to be fun, powerful, hilarious, beautiful and to happen with lots of ease.

Ways this could work:

It just could.

I can talk things over with slightly future me and ask for her advice.

I can do an OOD about it and see what’s feeling stuck, if anything, and what needs attention.

My commitment.

Dance dance dance.

Thing 5: Rallions for the 2012 Rallies!

Here’s what I want:

There’s all this stuff I want to do: to rewrite the Rally page, to make some fun, systems changes, to figure out what I’m doing differently in 2012.

But in the meantime, before we raise prices and set up the application system, I think it would be so beautiful if everyone who knows in their heart that they want to come to a Rally next year would just go for it.

It would be such fun to have happy Rallygator lists started for each of next year’s Rallies. And to start chatting on our secret page about where people might stay and what we might play with.

That’s what I want.

Ways this could work:

Not sure yet.

But I’m throwing it into the pot.

And I can ask the people in my Kitchen Table program for help, advice and support.

My commitment.

To love each Rally and love the Playground and hug every single butt-monster that lives there.

To show you guys pictures of the butt-monsters so you can appreciate their extremely adorable way of being monsters with butts.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I’d had a huge shivanautical realization about how morning begins at night so I wanted to set up a ritual for it. Done! Yes. Working. Love it.

Then I asked about obscenely ridiculous platform shoes. No movement there yet. Though I kind of have a loose idea about where to look.

There was an ask — which I forgot about, hilariously — about how I wanted to set up the Rallies for 2012. And I did! We have dates. Excellent.

Also I wanted to use my new Rally system and I did. Some tweaking involved but having it in place really, really helped with Rally #12.

And I asked for excitement for Laura and Maryann, and they’ll have to tell me how that went.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

Things that are welcome! Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.

Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!

Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.

VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!

xox

The Fluent Self