Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!
Let us dooo eeeet.
Also, is it really Sunday?
Somehow that seems completely preposterous. I protest!
Thing 1: a completely ridiculous coat rack or hat stand or something.
Here’s what I want:
Now that it is winter in Portland, we need a place at the Playground to hang rain coats.
And possibly to stick umbrellas. People who live here do not own umbrellas, but we will have visitors and they will most certainly want umbrellas.
I am picturing a delightfully kooky stand that is somewhat … odd looking. Now we need to find it!
Ways this could work:
Selma and I can prowl the consignment shops when we get back from teaching in Sacramento.
You guys might have ideas or suggestions, or maybe one of my readers knows the coat rack in question and can introduce us.
My commitment.
To stand for hats! Because I do.
Thing 2: brunching!
Here’s what I want:
I have several upcoming things that I need to announce to the Havi’s Doing A Thing list and the Frolicsome Bar and to the blog in general.
Of course we are totally way behind schedule. Which is actually fine.
But at some point in this coming week, the pieces need to fall into place.
Ways this could work:
I’ll get help from Hiro, my sister-in-silliness.
And do some processing the process. We’ll need to have at least two Drunk Pirate Councils, of course.
And it could just work. Whatever needs to come together could show up.
Or I could have a shivanautical epiphany that would help with the remaining steps. That would be good too.
My commitment.
To pay attention to what is working.
To ask what I need.
To do way more stone skipping than I think is required.
Thing 3: there is a thing I really want to write.
Here’s what I want:
Oh, this thing I want to write!
But right now I am far too upset about the topic to sit down and write it.
So either I need to figure out a way to get some emotional distance. Or be okay with not writing it for a while.
Or just write it while I’m mad, and then edit out the mean.
Ways this could work:
I’m thinking this will need some time tramping (on the trampoline).
And walking it out and talking it out and dancing it out and talking to the various monsters involved.
Or maybe there is a perfect, simple, elegant solution that I haven’t thought of yet.
My commitment.
To poke around (gently) and ask questions.
To be as patient with myself as I can stand.
To find the love, because it’s got to be in there somewhere, right?
To make room for all the parts that do not feel like love, because they’re legitimate too.
To remember that I can’t get this wrong, because it’s an experiment and I can change any variable at any time. To play.
Thing 4: salvaging? resolving?
Here’s what I want:
A massive administrative nightmare was uncovered this week, exactly at a moment when the First Mate and the rest of the crew weren’t able to do anything about it.
Some behind-the-scenes tech changes resulted in a day or two where the First Mate wasn’t getting all the incoming email. And just when we thought this was sorted, it turned out that our spam-filtering system had been updated too.
And on Friday it was discovered that there were HUNDREDS of unread (and increasingly agitated) emails that we didn’t know about because they had fallen between cracks that weren’t supposed to be there.
I don’t know what’s more depressing:
How terrible I feel about this, how upset people are, or the fact that we get so much incoming email that not getting a few hundred isn’t really noticeable.*
* And that’s why (cue hysterical laughter) I’ve been on permanent email sabbatical for the past two years.
Ways this could work:
So the First Mate has already responded to most of the pile.
We can apologize. A lot.
We can hope for the best.
We can consult with our tech pirates.
My commitment.
To trust that good things will come from this screw-up.
To wait and see.
To put someone else at the front of the V.
To write love letters to my business and my monsters and find out what they need.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Ooh, I wanted slippers! And you guys gave me all sorts of excellent recommendations, including fabulous I-am-a-jester slippers.
And then I accidentally found the most perfect ones ever down the street from the Playground, and I am in heaven.
Then I asked for order and ease, and those were definitely the theme of my week. My year, really. Very interesting.
I also wanted pockets of weekend in my week, and had no idea how that was going to happen.
But then my uncle came for three days of visiting, and for him I will always make pockets. So they appeared. And it was blissful.
And I wanted to memorize some passwords and I am so there with the two really important ones. Avoiding the others, but I’ll do some Shiva Nata with them and make it happen. Whew.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Stuff I’d rather not have:
- The word “manifest”.
- To be told how I should be asking for things.
- To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.
Follow
Here’s what I want:
I need to ask people to participate in my Big New Thing. But I am scared of asking them, because I’ve been listening to my monsters.
Ways this could work:
I will be spending some time doing things that make me feel good.
I will decide exactly who to ask, and for what.
I will ask one person first, so I don’t have to do it all at once and feel even more scared.
I will create a safe space for my monsters to work out their feelings.
My commitment:
To not beat myself up.
To give myself time and space.
To drink tea or hot chocolate or whatever makes me feel better.
To be honest about what I’m afraid of, so that I can help myself not feel so afraid.
“Also, is it really Sunday?”
As in tomorrow? Because today is Saturday. (I keep having to remind myself of this fact also… thought it was Sunday too.)
Also, what about this idea for a coat rack?
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sf/look/look-a-coat-rack-from-a-branch-018937
Well, it is *close* to being Sunday. 😉
Dude, I feel like I have your coat rack, or a coat rack in your vein. All natural wood, a tower of varying blocks with a base that is actually feet. Has a ball on top with a peg nose that is, natch, wearing a hat. My granddad built it for me when I was 2.5, which I know because he inscribed it on the tower. If I lived in Portland, I’d consider lending it to you. Or building you one. Think I’ve sussed out the design issues after my 1st foray into coat rack building some years ago. Good luck with the hunt!
This week’s ask: To find a way to do the thing I keep putting off. To have it be easier somehow? Or to make my willingness to do it not spurred by the frustration and pain of not doing it. Because to only be motivated by pain is depressing.
How: no freaking clue.
Commitment: Breathe! And remember that there’s lots of past stuff tangled up in this so it makes sense it’s difficult. Not to mention the totally legitimate current reasons for dismay. To recognize my feelings are valid but also this is now and some things are different from then.
>>And I wanted to memorize some passwords and I am so there with the two really important ones. Avoiding the others, but I’ll do some Shiva Nata with them and make it happen. Whew.
Havi,I found a really good system for passwords on Lifehacker.
–pick a basic word that isn’t something people would guess but that you can remember.
–for each website that needs a password, the password is your basic word plus the first three letters of the site plus some numbers.
–all you have to remember is the basic word and the numbers. Change these periodically.
Good luck!
@Havi is the tech thing possibly why I haven’t been receiving “new comment” emails? I just assumed it was a ‘being in Thailand/internet weirdness’ thing, but maybe it’s related?
@Amber if you need help with a Thing, I’m always happy to help 😉
Oh the magic of VPAs! First, an update; last week I asked for ease with extending my visa… and wouldn’t you know it, it was the easiest thing ever! 😀 First, the driver was super nice and offered to show me just what to do. Then it turned out that one of the other tourists also needed to extend his visa on the trip, and had done it before. So he walked me through the whole thing!
I also asked to be accepted into the thing I’d applied to… haven’t heard back yet, but still maintaining positive hope 😉
Oh, and I’m about 15 hours ahead, so it’s totally Sunday here, and I’m jazzed because I kept thinking “Yay! It’s Sunday! Time for VPAs” and then thinking “oh wait, it’s still Saturday there, I’ll have to wait til tomorrow” /sigh so Yay! 😀
Anywho, this week’s VPAs…
Thing 1: I would like very much to have some patience and serenity over the next week and a half. As much as I’m enjoying my trip, I’m starting to get homesick, and also discovering that I may not have the emotional constitution for an extended trip in a developing country 🙁
What I would like: To be able to enjoy the rest of my trip. To not fall apart when I see the saddest sad dogs and cats wondering the streets (especially my favoritest stray shrimpy dog who appears to have had a run in with a vehicle). To not be offended by the commercialization of the Thai culture… and to accept that it isn’t my place to judge…
How this could work: I have no idea, aside from refusing to leave my guest house…
My commitment: To be open to what comes. To journal my thoughts/feelings and accept whatever they are. To dance every morning, and maybe in the middle of the day too, if I need to. To allow myself to retreat into my room if I just need some space. To look forward to the things I do have planned, and to be completely present when I’m doing them, so that they can be properly appreciated. To bring shrimpy a bit of food to help him recover.
Thing 2: To continue forward movement with my Thing.
What I would like: To get these two pieces of my Thing finished, so that I can send it out to my close & trusted peeps for feedback.
How this could work: I could do it. I could be so inspired to do it, that it just happens. I could make pockets in my days dedicated to getting it done.
My commitment: To take time for myself, so that if it’s ready to happen, it can. To journal, so that the writing muscles are well-prepped for serious doing. To dance for inspiration. To write Love Notes to myself, to remind me why I want to do this (and that it is a want, and not a “should”)
A key hook, which isn’t really a coat rack, cunningly disguised as a moustache. If only it were bigger…
http://conversationpieces.co.uk/2009/01/27/my-cedar-moustache-key-rack/
Some responses have come from my VPA about wanting clients and money (they usually go hand in hand.) So, I’m just going to repost from a couple of weeks ago, and add a couch.
1. Love. Man companionship. Mutual adoration. Snuggles. Love notes. Giddiness. In a big swirly soup of goodness. Ways this could work: the Universe could plop this person in front of me as I go about doing the things I love and I could notice this person and we could notice each other and somehow start speaking to each other and then go from there. My commitment: To take care of myself and do things that make me happy and feel good and to try to notice if eligible bachelors are being plopped near me.
2. Clients. The awesome kind who need and want me and pay me money to do things I’m good at and enjoy. Ways this could happen: um, they could notice all the things I’ve been doing or hear about me from someone and call me and hire me. Note: People who hate their families and should really be calling a therapist should not call me. I can’t and won’t help you and I think you are sad. My commitment: to continue to tweak my message so that the right people find me, not the ones seeking vengeance. To work on all the things that I know lead to client. To take good care of my current clients.
3. Money. Enough money to get me happily through November, December and January and all the rest of the months of the year – happily, easily, profitably, enjoyably through those months. Ways this could happen: people send me checks. or bring them to me. or someone surprises me with a bit of money. My commitment: to remain open to all possibilities.
4. A couch. A cozy pretty perfect sized couch for cuddling. See supra. Ways this could happen: some of the money goes to a couch. The magical couch fairy puts the perfect couch at the consignment shop I love and I find it and buy it.
5. A nativity set. A pretty wooden, not-made-by-underpaid-children-with-poison-paint nativity set. Ways this could happen: Someone could post here with links to Etsy or other places where I might get one. Or more than one. My commitment: to check them out and remain open to lots of possibility.
This week’s VPA
I want:
some distance and courage to work with the ego monster who makes other people’s choices feel like it’s about me.
How:
use a focusing session
have a conversation with said monster (don’t even know her name yet)
do DOS
My commitment:
To be nice to myself if I choose to avoid this issue until I feel strong enough to tackle it.
I want:
something to emerge about the thing. the. thing.
How:
Same as above
My commitment:
To remain curious and compassionate about what is in my way.
Vpa VPA vpa
I would love
To play with and successfully create my own energetic force field to consistently keep out things that I don’t need. Like other people’s stuff and opinions that are snide, bitchy, petty, super superficial.
Noticing when stuff is triggered around these peeps and calling into place my magical force field – enable this stuff to bounce off me! Tis a waste of my energy to have it in my head or body at all.
To design at least two pages of my Little Book of Hope and have it be filled with play, fun, creativity, warmth and ease.
To keep sleeping well.
To keep finding ease and joy in small moments.
To arrive at a decision where I feel comfortable buying a reconditioned Macbook so that I can do what I need to do!
My promise to myself
To be kind – to use whatever strategy comes easily and to remember that I have a lot of tools in my medicine bag.
To write this down on a piece of paper.
To keep practising slowing down (with all my ambitions and wants and everythings)
To practise being fully inside the moment when I remember to and using a phrase to help me return to my breath and my belly.
ooo
How
However.
With help from my helpers in all their many forms
By writing this down.
Slowly, gradually.
This week’s Things:
Thing 1: I’d like the mystery lump on my doggie’s side to go away. Or at least stop being scary-mysterious. And I would prefer for it not to cost me a whole mess of shekels if it needs my help making it go away.
How this can work/my commitment: It’s been around for a couple of weeks, so I need to bite the bullet and make an appointment with the vet. I can spend more quality time with her, which would delight her and comfort me. And I can remind myself that it’s not being irresponsible with my savings to spend them on a creature who matters so much to me (and makes our guests happy as well).
Thing 2: I’d like to be more like my dog, in terms of infectious joy and energy
How this can work/my commitment: It’s going to take more than a week, but some decluttering (both time- and piles- and emotional-baggage-wise) would be an excellent start. I could invest more time in self-care (more sleep, not being too much in a hurry to moisturize, taking time to prepare healthy snacks rather than reaching for the quick stuff). I could ask Future Me to keep reminding me that I want to be remembered as someone who cheerfully and non-fussily got things done rather someone who was always kvetching about what she needed to get done.
Wishing all y’all the best with your asks.
and it is december… how did that happen. seems days weeks months and years go faster every time, at least for me.
good luck with your vpa’s. mine
thing #1
patience, sense of humour, light-heartedness, acceptance and a little work on my stuff about my younger brother’s wedding. he is just the opposite of me, has a completely different set of priorities, and he tends to be all “money, money, business, people are a way to those things” which i don’t understand. it is true, we work in different areas, and often i have nothing to talk bout with him. he is a lot of what i hate in people and gives me creeps.
ways:
hang around my cousins which are great, and fun, and have a great sense of humour
help with a lot of things so i can keep myself busy and away from all the show and money talks
dance all night with my nephew and practice new ridiculous moves
get really drunk and go to bed at 10pm
find an endless source of humour, sovereignity, ninja abilities to avoid shoes that will be thrown at me, a zipper for my mouth when feel like making a mean comment
commitment:
decide if i want to resist it or go with the flow, or catch the next wave and end in california.
work on my piece de résistance (my resistance to it, which is sadly turning into one of my key features)
light heartedness, breathing, looking for beaty in all this, changing topic when feel attacked
don’t want to have a hard time, so basically whatever may work to just flow and float, and maybe even enjoy it 😉
thing #2
fix what needs to be fixed in my little house, or get/find someone that can:
-computer and internet
-oven
-car
-garden
-the spare room (aka where all the junk is and you can’t even open the door room)
ways:
-prioritize
-one thing at a time
-find someone that can help me with all the above
-ask friends and family and make it a reason to get dirty, play with mud and be silly (thinking the garden)
-have enough money so that i don’t have to stop half way
-i could practice what it says in all the books i have
-get a new computer, this one is giving up on me, and i understand it
commitment:
-have patience with me
-list of phone calls and do them, prioritizing
-love my friends and family
-feel proud and love my little stuff even if it doesn’t work
-look for patterns and possibilities on why do most of my most expensive possessions keep having problems. i need them, and like them, and they are not oh my god high tech over the top, just the essencial, but still
maybe it is my loose electron and the weird magnetic field that surrounds me…an idea! now will have to look how to find a friend for the lonely electron.
VPAing is useful to come up with ideas!
progress in last weeks VPA’s
-an honest conversation with “the” someone: nothing yet, not even news from him. talked to myself most of the time, and my monsters, and some imaginary teachers
-clarity on why am i feeling sorry, because i didn’t know:little progress, but it is hurting a lot, because what i always knew to be right, and desired and in what i believed, turns out that sometimes things just don’t work. and i am sorry i did this to myself, i didn’t know that even if you want and do things from the depth and honesty of your heart, and put heart and soul in it, and believe and play and try new things, know it comes from a place of love and to share it and that could be great for a lot of people, it may still not work. it hurts.
big cyberhugs.
Very Personal Ad #15
Update on last week!:
Thing 1 was I-don’t-know-but-it-kind-of-looks-like-direction. And I got it. I’m settled. I found the damn thing. (In large help to Havi and her great post on Tripping. Seriously, sometimes, the Universe goes out of it’s way to make things obvious, and we the people – by which I mean me – just glance right over. Oh, sigh of frustration.)
Still don’t know all the reasons why I didn’t want to settle. Something about fear, getting it right, legitimacy issues – to the tune of, “You’re not a real __ unless you __ (go to school/get a real job in the field/hold hugely popular seminars/etc.)!” I’m still not 100% solid yet. The demons are pretty vicious about this one.
Thing 2 was healing. New plan is in effect. All things are entering a filter of “Yes, you could do that, but is it worth not being able to use your arms?”, which pretty much sets me straight again. This is the only thing I’m really forcing, because traditions are important, dammit, and it was the power of the VPAs that got my butt up and moving again in the first place. I’m not leaving them behind!
So, this week!
Thing 1: Relaxation, Vacation, Ease… an End to All the Panicking
What I would like: The demons to pipe down, the arms to not hurt, the sleep to be peaceful and uninterrupted, Christmas vacation to actually be a vacation, to learn how to take vacations at all, and for the nice thing to settle into its new home in my heart without all that fuss and stuff my demons insist on. (Do we have to?)
Ways this could work:
Miraculously.
Labyrinths.
Video games.
Resting.
Getting in touch with what I want and need frequently and giving it to myself without judging. (‘Cause it’s vacation, y’see.)
Put away all the lists.
Ruthlessly gag the Shoulds/Havetos/Musts.
Dance of Shiva.
Hell, dance.
My commitment:
To find a way to get and keep in touch with myself, and to stay in that place for as long as I need.
To allow myself this time off. (Because it’s Christmas, because I need it… whatever works.)
Thing 2: Christmas
What I would like: Christmas to go up without fuss, muss, or hurt anybodies.
Ways this could happen:
Miracles.
I don’t know.
Talk to the male-person.
My commitment:
To look. (OOH! An awesome word for therapy: Looking. ZOMG-squee!)
To not scream.
To talk before the urge to explode takes over. (All .3 seconds that is… l’sigh.)
Thing 3: A Safe Place for My Sweet Little Thing
What I would like: For my sweet little thing to have a place inside the demons can’t reach; for it to be a safe place, where she can grow without pressure, experiment, do lovely, wild, wacky things and not be judged; where she’s not afraid to ask for what she wants and needs and knows that it will do its best in the coming.
Ways this could happen:
I don’t know.
More miracles? (It is the season…)
Pointified Looking.
My commitment:
To Look.
To be open to anything I can try.
To try. Really, really try.
Interesting, last weeks VPAs worked even though instead of posting them here I managed to close the page and then didn’t have the energy to write them all out again.
The first. I have an industry analysis that I need to do for my Masters. Unfortunately, my first idea hasn’t got any response from the people I’ve contacted. So, I want to go back to the proposal, redraft it, email it to my tutor and then get started on contacting people.
How this could happen:
– break it down into manageable steps so it’s not a huge looming presence tapping it’s fingers at me
– I could ask for ease and grace to accompany this project and they would join us
– Metaphor Mouse could pay me a visiting for the renaming
– some shiva
My commitment:
– not to beat myself up for being stressed about it
– to do something little each day
– to let my tutor know if I’m having real problems
The second. I want to catch up with work, without over stressing myself and leaving no time for anything else.
How this could happen:
– be realisitc with what I can do
– stop and take breaks
– set myself a limit on how long I’m going to spend studying
– remember than no-one is going to die if I don’t have it finished by the end of the week but I might very well make myself worse if I force myself to try and get it all done by then
My commitment:
– did I mention taking breaks?
– taking ten minutes to talk to the laziness monster when neeeded
The third. My secret squirrel fun project seems to be growing and as it does I see more of how I want it to grow. I want more clarity on this and more growing please!
How this could happen:
– keep on contacting people and looking at what other peole have done
– keep on doing the thing
– keep an eye out for unexpected opportunities
-shiva
My commitment:
– notice what comes up as I’m doing this
– allow play and fun and hope and experimentation to have their place and not be chased off by monsters
– talk when needed
– remember I am doing this for enjoyment
Whew…not sure I meant to write an essay, but you have it anyway.
Thing 1:
My ex who is also a good friend is in the country for the month. This is the first time we’ve seen each other in a while and I would like ease in this. Seems like we’re both in places of ‘what next?’ and perhaps need to stay there for a bit. So, yes, ease with this one.
How this could happen:
Lots of intentional observation
Space when needed
Talking, not the icky ‘we need to discuss this’ kind, just ‘This is where I am, you?’ No need for conclusions.
My commitment:
To be open to what comes up.
To act rather than react when possible and when it’s not, to observe the reaction.
Thing 2:
I’d like for my first thing that is for sale to find the people who need it. It’s all about helping people who get overwhelmed during the holiday party season prepare so they can enjoy said holiday parties. It seems a bit late though.
How this could work:
I could write a post
I could talk about it on twitter in a non icky way
I could allow for the lateness in the year and trust that next year when people need it, they will know that it is there.
My commitments:
To mention the thing when appropriate
To be open to what ever happens
Update on last time: well, Thing 1 is still ongoing, and I’m still struggling with the patience. But some good conversations have happened, and I have reiterated my *intent* to be patient & supportive, and I feel a bit calmer than I did last week. So yay progress. Thing 2: the time management issues continue, but I did get some stuff done in a cheerful and productive way the last couple of days. So that’s good too.
This week!
VPA1: either a solution, or an acceptance that there is no solution, to the Big Problem Thing. Either way, a moving on.
How this might happen: well, actually it is going to happen within a month anyway; I’m just impatient. Maybe what I’m really asking for is patience!
My commitment:
Keep on journalling and thinking and remembering how tough this is for the other person.
Keep thinking about things so that if movement does happen, I don’t freak out about SCARY CHANGE.
VPA2: I have an interview on Wednesday, and I **really** want it to go well. (In fact, what I really want is to get the job! But what I can *control* is my doing my best, so I’m going to focus on that.)
How this might happen: I could do a KICKASS presentation/interview, and they will realise that I am the best person for the job.
(any other ways? not really; I think that’s about the size of it!)
My commitment:
– to work on my presentation.
– to work on my interview question brainstorming.
– to remember that the *reason* I want this is that I’m really excited about it, and to let that excitement show on Wednesday.
– to remember that the best I can do is to go up there and be my best self, and that if it doesn’t pan out, then doubtless that’s for the best too.
VPA 3: to finish the first draft of The Current Novel before Xmas.
How this might happen:
– I might just keep plugging, 600 words a morning at a time.
– I might have a sudden burst of energy.
– I might find that there’s surprising lumps of time available at the festival I’m going to next week.
– I might dedicate some time to it when I finish work for the year on the 20th.
– some of all of the above!
My commitment:
– to keep doing that 20 min every morning.
– to be open to feeling inspired at other times.
– to keep my iPad with me so that if I am inspired, or have a little spare time, I can get a bit more writing in.
It’s not Sunday… is it?
So, Last week I wanted.. calm progress.
The deadlines and extra volunteering thing were hectic, but then it SNOWED. And I got two days off to regroup.
And then this weekend I’ve had ten hours of sleep a night to make up for 4 nights of 4-5 hours of sleep.
What I Want:
This week, I’ve a few tiny thing to do but elsewise, it’s quiet. I’d like to use this time productively. That means having enough energy and motivation to work on my projects.
How this could happen:
– dance
– drink tea
– eat regular meals
– be kind to myself
My commitment:
– to take moments each day to dance and eat fruit; to give me that snazzle [erm.. snippet] of energy-bursting motivation.
– to tidy my room so it feels refreshing and spacious
Dust Furniture!
They make amazing Seussian stuff like these stacked cabinets that are dancing with one another:
http://dustfurniture.com/pieces/DF1020-StackedNo1/dust_stackedcabno1.jpg
This is the only coat tree they have, and it is far too barren and grey for a Playground, but I would bet they could make you something stupendous – or repaint this guy in a happy bright color – if you asked.
http://dustfurniture.com/pieces/DF1170-CoatTree/coattreecharcoal.jpg
I want to make a documentary called ROAD TO w00tSTOCK. It’s obsessing my brain.
BUT that’s not what I need.
What I need are people. More people in my life, more friends, more friends who don’t live on the internet. I want a bunch of creative friends who live where I live and so we can all meet up for brunch and collaborate and become our own Board of Directors of Awesome.
I have an update on a previous VPA: I had asked for a new bicycle, fully expecting that it would take months for this to happen. As it turns out, my sweetie was able to find just the kind of bike I was hoping for, at an incredibly good price! It was delivered last week — some assembly required, but I can take it to someone local to get it road-ready.
There is something in my mind for this week’s VPA, but I seem to be too — frightened? conflicted? — to ask for it directly. Instead, I will just take a moment to ask for calm, clarity, self-kindness, and the best possible outcome — and the capacity to love myself and believe in myself, whatever the outcome.
…breathing…
…and sending love and luck for everyone’s VPAs this week.
Havi, I’m not sure what all you’re looking for in a coat rack, but this one’s Fluent Self blue and has a pirate ship on top. http://warmbiscuit.com/piratecoatrack.html
(If you’re looking for one that hangs on the wall, this one is also piratey: http://amzn.to/gqJriV and these are made of sovereignty crowns: http://bit.ly/g48f4z)
My own VPA for this week:
I want rest and ease and strength. Not sure how this could work, so my commitment is to spend some time over the next two days thinking about ways this could work and what might help.
what i want this week:
– to stop avoiding the preparation for scary scary wednesday, because it’s going to happen whether or not i prepare. and preparation would make it less scary.
how this could work:
– i could just put a hold on everything else in my to do list, so they can’t be used as procrastinators.
– i could remind myself that the worst that could happen on wednesday is…nothing changes. and maybe a little humble pie eating.
– i could try to make a game out of the prep.
my commitment:
– to breath and drink tea
– to make lists because they calm me
– to daydream about the *best* possible outcome, not the worst.
– to relish in the fact that I don’t have to go to work on Wednesday. 😉
1. Money, specifically more of it than I’ve ever made before because it brings me freedom and allows me to help other people.
How this could work: I can continue to attract advertisers to our site. I can write a resume and target some big companies for a full-time job (which I’ve been resisting because I like the freedom of working from home). I can talk to Ronnie about the idea I had to do what we do (dating advice) on YouTube.
My commitment: To keep writing. To write my resume. To talk to Ronnie.
Havi,
I actually own this coat rack. It isn’t colorful but feels very happy as it dances along the wall.Not sure if you need a free standing rack or what… This one holds two coats per hook quite easily.
http://www.bellacor.com/productdetail/473441.htm
Too bad this one is 7 grand, but it just says Rallyscallion all over it.
http://www.casasugar.com/Weird-Furniture-Scallion-Coat-Rack-848991
This isn’t maximum kookiness, but kind of futuristic:
http://www.theartofstorage.com/Coat_Hooks_and_Racks
I think I may need a Dr. Seuss hat. Good idea!
@Amber: I am very willing to be a test subject for your asking, so you can practice on someone, if that would help. You can mess up as often as you like. You can contact me through Twitter.
@Havi: as one of those affected by the email stoppage, I would just like to say that I’m not upset at all. For the record.
@Taylor: dustfurniture is AWESOME! Thank you.
VPAVPA (very late) VPA:
I have had lots of surprise yumminess that wasn’t what I thought I was asking for, but I believe in gratitude. Also, I missed chicken.
So: (1) a couple of yeses! YAY! (2) Right People (YAY!) (3) good feedback on the testing of the THING. (YAY!) (4) unexpected breakthrough on Very Old Stuff (WOOHOO!) (5) lovely sweetness with my sweetie (ohmygodsuchagift) (6) help making something awesome happen for myself (THANK YOU!)(7) stepping into another possibility (WOOT!) (8)models for ways to be in my business that feel like they might fit me (YUM) (9) Unexpected help for long-heavy weightiness.
*deep centering breath*
VPA:
Wanted please: more of the aforementioned magic, ease, and abundance. Additional goodness to support my fledgling faith in the multiverse. More instinctive and creative knowing about how to put myself out there and connect with people.
Also wanted: untangling about money and power and some additional stuff.
Ways this could work: I could keep doing what I’m doing, and attend diligently to my business. I could keep in touch with good people I have recently met. I could feed my spirit with art and writing and generosity and silliness and pleasures. I could find a good Word Of The Year for 2011. I could do the things I already know I want to do to help me along this path (and keep putting off).
My commitment: to monotask more and multitask less. To follow the paths I start down with integrity and curiosity and playfulness and joy To stop when I know it’s time. To START when I know it’s time. To tell the truth, even (especially) when it’s something good about me. (Don’t Be Uppity Monsters notwithstanding). To do the little things that feel good (tea! journal! kisses!) To think creatively and expansively. To be in charge of asking and let people be in charge of their own answers.
ooh, fun. my second vpa
Thing #1
There are people I want to be more comfortable with at work
What I want:
The chef and the owner of the restaurant I work with are both somewhat intimidating. I’m sure they are nice people, but I wish I had some way to relate to them and feel more comfortable/ less awkward around them.
Ways this could work:
Sheesh, I have no idea
My commitment:
To do my best to be myself and feel confident.
Thing #2
I need to get Christmas presents for people
What I want:
I want to find special, meaningful gifts that will not end up just being STUFF, and are very inexpensive
My commitment:
To keep my eyes open for possibilities, and find time to let my creative juices flow
Peace & Love everyone!
Also, Havi, regarding the word? I personally started to call my non-project-projects “exploits” or “escapades” a few years ago, largely because I was/am a project manager in my day job and to call something a project makes it sound like a job and an obligation, vs something out of the swashbuckling literature. 🙂