Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.
So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.
Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.
And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!
Alright. Let’s do it.
Thing 1: Representation.
Here’s what I want:
An agent.
Not for my Shivanaut Manual — for the next book I’m going to write.
It will have some combination of my self-help-ey bits and biggification genius and it will be brilliant.
Yes, I know that a few weeks ago I couldn’t even get Writer Me to stop cackling and last week I couldn’t say in a voice louder than a whisper that I was a writer, but I’m ready now.
My agent is kind, sensible, knowledgeable, creative, goofy and has a wicked sense of humor. And is, at least in some ways, one of my Right People.
We will have the best time ever working together and it will be a fabulously successful collaboration of kookiness and wonder.
Ways this could come to me:
One of my smart book-writing author-ey friends (like Jen or Pam or Chris or Jonathan) could hook me up with the perfect connection.
Or maybe … through this blog.
Or through my network of connector mice. Or at my favorite bar (yes, Twitter).
Or in some way I haven’t thought of yet which will manage to be so completely, ridiculously laugh-out-loud perfect that it will become a beautiful tiny little story of its own.
Anything else. I’m staying open to surprises.
Here’s how I want to get it:
I would like a sign. Or a sign-like thing. That would work too.
And, ideally, the right person will contact Marissa through my lovely, lovely contact page.
My commitment.
I will give time, love and attention to Writer Me and to the book (books?) that are growing inside of me.
I will try to be all loving and nurturing with myself during the process (or to at least notice when I’m not and when I can’t and try to let that be okay).
And we will laugh together. Me and this wonderful agent and the book that gets to be born.
Thing 2: Quiet time to decompress.
Here’s what I want:
I’m really, really needing recovery time after the Retreat.
So I want:
Help gently reminding myself to spend more time in my Angel Refueling Station.
Patience and love from my Kitchen Table people when it takes me a little longer to respond to things.
Naps.
Ways this could work:
It could just be kind of a quiet week.
Maybe the little reminders I plant all over my website that say hey, I’m still on email sabbatical will have some sort of magical effect.
Maybe my beautiful week of Retreat-ing and retreating with Jen will make it easier for me to say no to things that aren’t soothing and quiet.
Maybe I will go on a writer’s date with Shannon.
My commitment.
I will remind myself that quiet is a value.
And I will take time to check in with myself and make sure I’m getting enough of it.
More permission to work on reaching a higher level of Naptitude (can’t remember who said that on Twitter, but boy is it ever sticky).
Oh, and I will ask my brother and my gentleman friend to remind me to go to bed extra-early.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Still no word on the day I am looking for to honor my friend who is dead. But I’m feeling less anxious about it and am trusting that I will know what to do when it is time.
And, moving to other things I have asked for, I have two pretty amazing things to report:
Two weeks ago I asked for a tech wizard for my pirate ship.
And the person we ended up working with was so immensely capable, so astonishingly good at doing the thing that I am in awe.
Not only did she fix the big, huge, awful problem that we had been throwing time and money at for a couple of months, but she fixed a bunch of other things we didn’t even know needed fixing.
I cannot even express how grateful I feel for this Very Personal Ad space, for bringing this exactly-right person to my business.
And last week I asked for help with getting in the zone and working on my Shivanaut Manual, so I could give my dear, sweet, abandoned book the love it deserved.
It was awesome. I dance of Shiva-ed it up. I worked on my book every day at the Writer’s Retreat when I wasn’t teaching. I broke up with my table of contents.
I let it be fun.
So now it’s a totally different thing than it used to be. Also than I thought it was going to be. And it’s so close to being done that I can taste it. Joy!
Comments. Since I’m already asking …
I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂
Here’s what I want:
- Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for.
- Thoughts or ideas about ways any of the personal ads listed here could come true.
What I would rather not have:
- Reality theories.
- Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
- To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
My commitment.
I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. I’m committing to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.
So happy that you guys do this with me! Yay, Very Personal Ads.
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Havi, I’m envisioning the perfect agent for you, connecting with you simply, easily and in perfect timing.
My Very Personal Ad:
I want to attend a retreat with someone I’ve long wanted to work with. It begins the week after my birthday. I want this to come together–the space for it, the money to do it, the travel arrangements and accommodations, and my own health and ability to manage the travel–simply, easily, gently, effortlessly.
How it comes together doesn’t really concern me, so long as it’s simple, easy and in harmony with my life.
My commitment: I’ll show up fully for this retreat, and will use all the growth I experience and everything I learn there to support my right people in their own growth and transformation. I’ll be open to whatever shifts and changes take place in the pattern of my life as a result of this retreat. And I will honor the gifts that are given to me, with gratitude.
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sunday Poem #3 =-.
What I want:
A relaxing, enjoyable family vacation. Doing at least one fun thing every day outside of the house we are staying at. But then coming home every night to relax on the couches together and drink tea and go to bed early and stuff.
Good moods and funny conversation and just generally applying a SENSE OF HUMOR to all the proceedings. A minimum of yelling and arguing and whining.
For me to do some writing while we’ll there and also keep in touch with my friends.
How It Could Happen:
We could talk every night at dinner about what we’re doing for the next day. We could keep in mind things that are not necessarily expensive or huge but would still bring us out of the house to do something mutually enjoyable. (We could split up at times to make it easier to find mutually enjoyable stuff.)
The down time at home will happen on its own, I think, as we are a quiet bunch by nature.
I could try having a good mood myself and using my sense of humor. During quiet moments, I could remind my dad and my sister to do this, too. Maybe even WITH a sense of humor because this might help me feel more comfortable about doing it. Or possibly by being brave and trying out NVC for once.
I will bring my laptop and a new notebook. I will make time for this at night and try to read some articles I like about writing.
My cell phone will not work there, but I will tell my friends that I will be regularly checking my voicemail and can call them back. If I need privacy, I can go out to one of the balconies or even out into the hall. I can call later at night when everyone is in bed if I need to. I will try to find a good place to talk before I make the call. Also, I can email.
My Commitment:
Oh, wait, was my commitment kind of mixed up in all those things I just said? Well. Anyway. I will use this vacation as an opportunity to bond with my family and do fun things together with them. I will try to do some writing and exercising and give myself some me-time, especially if it is getting tense and I need a break. I will bring the NVC book with me and really try to use it. When all else fails I will just try to bring some FUN and FUNNY into everything.
I’ve asked already once, but I’ll ask again. I’m in Boston and I’m looking for an opportunity to work with people who help others with body image issues. I’m a photographer and have found that my knack seems to be in dealing with people who are photophobic and hate having their picture taken. For some of them, having images that they like of themselves has helped them come to peace with some of their inner demons.
What I’m hoping for is a therapist or life coach who helps people with these issues who is willing to consider adding portrait photography to the process.
Please email me at lisa.lassner.photography@gmail.com if you have a lead.
I’m feeling a little bit discouraged. The one thing I’ve been wishing for more than ever – financial stability – still isn’t coming.
Applied for jobs, no response (yet; I’m still applying). Grants rejected. I was told that I was blocking myself and that she can unblock me – for $120. I don’t have that much to spare.
My boyfriend’s willing to pay for my First Aid training, which should help me qualify for more jobs like babysitting. Hopefully.
My dad just asked for a budget today. I put in all I can, and even made space for things I would really want in my life, like classes and savings for my Merch Girl biz and so on. My boy and I worked out that I could live on $20,000/year and still be comfortable – that’s way below the minimum pay for entry-level jobs. Of course, I need a job first.
My dad said he’ll pay for the necessities – rent, food, meds, transport, Internet – for the first few months. But no more: no extra savings, no miscellaneous, no creative classes, no birthday presents for friends, no show tickets. Nothing that would enhance my soul and spirit really, since it’s not a basic need.
I was hoping not to get any money at all from Dad. He’s been sponsoring me at least 90% of my life. he paid for uni, he paid for most of my crazy jaunts overseas. Parental money comes with its own cost: expectations, obligations, nagging. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to live on my own. But right now I seem to be doing a crap job at that.
So my personal ad? Another reissue of my earlier ones for financial freedom. Not having to worry about where the next meal comes from, but also being able to enjoy my friend’s stage show or a trip a few zones down to the seaside without worrying about whether I can afford my meds. I’m trying to trust the process but it seems the more I trust something or something the more let down I get. So I don’t know.
Am I doing something wrong? Is there some spell, some LOA thing, some mindset, some widget, that I’m not doing right? Is my effort not enough? Am I not enough? Will I never be free?
Wish: To be free.
How: Best ways possible.
Commitment: To keep looking, since I don’t really have a choice.
.-= Tiara´s last post … Dear Malaysian mainstream media (and also, dear Jacqueline Ann Surin) =-.
Yaaaaaaaaaaai! Sorry for the emo-unleashing. I just feel so frustrated (but also ironically safe here) and needed to talk.
.-= Tiara´s last post … Dear Malaysian mainstream media (and also, dear Jacqueline Ann Surin) =-.
Sorry, I forgot to include my commitment and how I want this to happen.
Wish: A chance to help people love themselves, even their external selves.
How: An email that connects me to someone who would like to work with me.
Commitment: To pursue any leads sent to me, and to give this project my all.
An update (to the ad formerly posted as CAD Monkey):
Decided not to “give up and die,” as far as foreclosure goes. I cashed out my (VERY meager) IRA, and can remain current for another month.
I plan to use the time between now and whenever we *WILL* sell the house to focus on my personal art career. I have a lot of support on that front, and I am grateful for it- I don’t plan to waste it in a fit of moping over the house situation.
Thanks, all, for your suggestions. 🙂
.-= Jen Mathis´s last post … “I ‘heart’ HOU” T-shirts =-.
Glad you found your wizard and got on well with your book Havi!
Dear Universe,
I would like the people to help me set up and run my radio station. Really enthusiastic, energetic and easy-to-work-with people who can also provide emotional support and encouragement.
Maybe some will come from my student radio friends, maybe there will be surprises from people on Twitter and facebook. Maybe I will just bump into someone in the street.
I will commit to creating a great little environment for them to do their amazing stuff in, make sure they’re reaching their (our?) Right People and help them to flourish personally and professionally. And it will be The Best Thing Ever.
Love from Paul
.-= Paul´s last post … Miliblogging =-.
Here’s what I want:
An apartment.
A sparking clean and funky one, with new kitchen, wood (or bamboo) floors, professional paint job, stainless appliances, and close to work.
More specifically, about ~800 square feet, with a foyer separate from the living room, a window in the black and white (mostly white) tiled bathroom.
Did I say CLEAN?
Ways this could come to me:
I could get the apartment I have an application on!
I could get one through a friend, or colleague.
I could pass by a cool house with a “for rent” sign on my way home.
Another realtor?
I’m open to surprises.
Here’s how I want to get it:
Effortlessly …
My commitment:
I will stop checking email every five minutes!
I will trust the Universe. There’s a lesson in this.
Thing one:
Courage and Clarity
things are changing in a relationship in my life and I need to figure out what I am truly feeling and have the courage to act accordingly. I may be on my own again, but I can’t tell yet… icky
How it can come to me:
through a good talk with a friend and some sincere perspective/advice.
Shiva Nata inspired epiphany would be great.
It could be ‘forced’ by the other person involved making a decision and letting me know.
My commitment:
I will try my best to stay calm and settled and not let emotions blur my perception of the big picture.
I will do dance of shiva every day.
I will take quiet time with myself to feel it out.
Thing Two:
a second job
I need some extra, reliable income. Especially if I am going to be moving soon. I work 8-5 m/f and would like to find an evening and weekend gig. I would love to be able to contribute creatively and/or work at something good that helps people. I would like to avoid call centers, hassling people on the street to help various charities and fast food. I would love to be around art, art supplies, art classes and/or elderly people that could use some company.
How this could come to me:
find someone teaching art classes at retirement homes and assist them.
craigslist.
a lead from someone here.
a big idea and rush of motivation to create the job I want.
My commitment:
I will stop being afraid of doing something other than administrative work that I feel safe with.
I will put together a resume of my ‘other’ experience even though that stuff was over 9 years ago.
.-= ilikered´s last post … here we go =-.
Dearest Havi, I wish you all the calm, quiet time that you need.
And an *agent*…ooooh, how exciting that you’re ready for that! Somehow I don’t think it will be long until you find what you’ve asked for. Sending lots of love and energy that you find the perfect match.
I’d like to post a Very Personal Ad this week too. This is completely random but who knows, right?
What I’m looking for:
A wedding officiant located in Tucson, Arizona or willing to travel to Tucson on November 13 this year.
He or she should be someone who is able to legally solemnize a marriage in the state of Arizona. Or someone willing to do the Universal Life Church thingie or otherwise gain the power to perform a legal marriage in Arizona. (I’m not sure how this works but I will do all the research for the right person.)
He or she should be someone deeply soulful who can speak to mystery and magic, but who is not affiliated with any organized religion. At the same time it would be someone not too “woo woo” –no multicolored robes or chanting, or other touchy-feely things that would make my New-England-Catholic relatives uncomfortable.
Someone who has the presence and gravitas needed to officiate and lead a ceremony with up to 75 people in attendance, yet still able to create a safe space for my love and I to make our commitment to one another.
Someone who has enough experience with ritual to have great ideas for a ceremony, but who is also open to listening our ideas. Someone to guide us in planning the ceremony.
Ways this could come to me:
An internet friend could recommend someone.
I could read about someone who inspires me and they could end up being located in Arizona and willing to do the ceremony.
We might have a lightning bolt moment and realize that someone we already know is perfect.
Someone could read this here and send me a recommendation.
My commitment:
Actually this should say *our* commitment 😉
We will treat this person as a sacred partner in planning the ritual, and we will be deeply grateful for their presence.
This person will be welcomed into a fun weekend at a historic hotel in a desert town where love, laughter and connection will be in abundance.
We are open to paying travel expenses for someone extraordinary. And whatever fee or donation is standard.
~ Thanks for listening, Havi and the universe! ~ E.
.-= Eileen´s last post … Remedial Meditation (Remeditation?) =-.
To Tiara – Think bigger – you can do better than a minimum wage job. How do you want to help the world? Even if it’s helping people choose clothes that look good on them or serving them a meal when they need it, you’re helping the universe and filling your pocketbook in the process. Think of work as what needs of other people you’d like to fulfill (rather than your own) and work will come to you.
My Wish:
Money. An infusion of cash by August 15, and more by August 31. I will work, hard, for it. I’m in debt over my head and if I don’t pay my bills this month, it will go on my credit report. I could lose my health insurance, which I can’t do without. I need to pay my landlord the rent I owe. I have to move at the end of the month and need money for a deposit and first month’s rent.
How this could come to me:
I will post ads for my writing services on Craigslist.
I will reach out to people I know who might have short term needs for the type of work that I’m good at (research and writing).
I will be open to types of work that I’m not normally accustomed to in the service of paying my bills this month.
I will tell everyone I meet that I’m looking for work.
My commitment:
I will do whatever work I find with 100% enthusiasm. I will give my best.
I will keep the bigger picture in mind, and stay open to long-term opportunities that might present themselves.
I will aim stay centered manage my anxiety with meditation, eating right, reading, and exercise.
Please, Universe, share with me your abundance so that I may share my skills, smiles, and positive energy with you.
.-= LAP´s last post … Clichés and Crediblity =-.
Alrighty, asking! I like this ritual too.
What I would like: Some inspiration/return of my writer’s passion.
I would like ideas to come to me fluidly and with that spark that has me just aching to work. I want to feel inspired and excited, and for these ideas to fit the story well and perhaps to inspire an emotional reaction out of me.
Ways this could happen: The exercises I have been doing could finally begin to release the dam.
I could freewrite.
I could simply look around and ask questions, or my characters could suddenly point something out to me and tell me how that relates to their story, and suddenly a lot more will make sense, and I will know how their story ticks.
My commitment: I will continue doing exercises and asking questions every day to the best of my ability.
I will entertain every idea, including the ones I think are stupid as hell, because my muse often knows best and if I shut him up he tends to sulk.
What I wouldn’t like: To have to drag myself through my nano/writing preparations like I’ve been dragging myself lately.
———–
I don’t know if we’re allowed to ask for things for other people, but since my Dad’s looking I don’t think it would harm to ask:
What I would like #2: For my Dad to get a good job.
It will be a job that meets his requirements for pay, and the people he will work with he will feel inspired to work with. He will be just what they are looking for and he will have the contract he needs through these people. He will not have to travel far unless he has to.
How this could happen: Somebody could have heard of him and contact him. My Mum could find a job page that would fit him perfectly. An old colleague could tell him about it, or, really, a pleasant surprise’d do.
My commitment: I will do my best to support my dad and family through this and, if I do see anything (unlikely, but not impossible) I’ll let him know about it.
Man, your comments are like blog posts in themselves. One of my favorite places to be is here. 🙂
And I am LOVING this asking for stuff. So completely unheard of for me. Here’s mine:
What I’m looking for: The ability to get out from under the covers and *really* launch my wonderful thing that I’ve been working on for months. Somehow to get outside of myself and be able to work my awesomeness on MYSELF.
What this would look like: A sudden burst of energy and confidence. A feeling of support from the universe.
My commitment: To be kind to myself. To remember that this is just the culmination of months and months or work and focus, and that it’s perfectly normal to schiz out at the moment of truth. To just be honest and vulnerable about it, even if that’s scary for me.
.-= Sarah Bray´s last post … Launch day and hiding under the covers =-.
Havi, so happy for you that in just a few weeks, you’ve agreed that you’re a writer! Congratulations, and I hope your Right Agent finds you very soon. When your book is ready, I’ll line right up to buy it and recommend it to my people.
Thank you for making this forum where we can practice asking for what we want. I’ve been *waiting* for this post! I have the exact thing I’m asking for all ready to go:
I want an apartment! It should be a 1-bedroom in the Kensington/Windsor Terrace neighborhood I want to live in in Brooklyn, in the price range I want, within a few minutes’ walk of the subway, and have terrific natural light, plenty of storage space, and allow my cats, and have laundry in the building, and be clean and fresh (whether new or old) and big enough.
It should be a quiet, and have a properly functional separate kitchen with a window, and a fresh, whitish bathroom (also with a window). And somewhere, either in the bedroom or the living room, there should be a sort of organic, sensible space for my work spot.
How it could happen:
I could find it online, and the timing could be so that it magically crosses my radar at just the moment that it becomes available, so I am first to know about it. Or a friend or friend of a friend could tell me about one they know that’s perfect. Or it could happen some other way. But in any case, it should happen with integrity and straight communication, and no funny realtor shenanigans.
My commitment:
To love it and make it home. To appreciate the people who connect me to it. To do my best to relax and know that it’s coming to me when the moment is ripe.
.-= Germinational´s last post … Germinational: @WalterHawn Ah, but I have many more spices in my arsenal than just cumin. The title is an homage to other -ists of bloggy fame. =-.
What I Want:
The endurance to keep plugging away at my writing. No writer-panic attacks that block up my ability to write this story.
Ways This Could Work:
I can keep putting a thousand words in every week day like I plan to. And the story keeps coming because it’s only a thousand words a day, and I’m not trying to make them perfect, I’m just putting things on the page.
If I hit one of those panic attacks, I can stumble on some awesome writing advice that gets me revved up and going again.
My friends can support and love me while I struggle with this.
My Commitment:
I will finish writing this story. I will set it aside for a month while I do the research to go back and fill in all the blanks. I will go back and revise it. I will set it aside for another month. I will revise again. I will give it to my Right People to read and see if it’s something they think I can sell.
Wow.
Two weeks ago I posted with a personal ad for a new job. The very next day an opportunity came up at the Museum where I’ve been volunteering. I thought I’d blown it because I was sick on the day of the interview, but I got a call the next day offering me the job! 😀
The down side is that the job is only temporary, and ends in four weeks, so now I have to look for another.
So, once again, I need a part time job.
It would be completely awesome if my current job could be extended, or somehow made permanent.
Otherwise, it should be something that uses my skills, but which is flexible enough that doing the work doesn’t make me ill. I’m open minded about whether I work freelance from home, or whether I go to a place to work. I don’t need millions of pounds, just enough to cover my medical bills plus a bit of pocket money for shiny things. I’m doing my part by looking for jobs and being open to suggestions, even if they’re suggestions I would have run away from in the past.
.-= Eternal Magpie´s last post … New job, new dress. =-.
I’ve resisted posting my own little personal ads for a while because I wanted the exact right words to come. In their absence, I will try these:
Here’s what I want:
A job, or a series of projects – for pay.
I do website/Flash QA and I would very much like to be working with and for people and projects that are fun, interesting, and that I can do from my own office (or at least an office that doesn’t have a dress code and a gaggle of women in heavy makeup).
I would like this place/these people to be OK with me being a 1099-gal, or at least be OK with me working project-by-project. I want to find this on my own, not through my agency, because I want to be the one to set the terms and I think having a middleman hurts us all.
Ways this could work:
Someone could read this and contact me (see link to my clearly entry-level site above). Or someone I know could refer me to a project or refer a client to me.
My commitment:
I will give each and every potential client/project time and consideration. I will respond to their inquiries in a timely fashion and in a professional manner. I will even give them a free current-site evaluation if they want. I will update my clearly entry-level site to look better. I will spend time Shiva-ing it up to allow my inner self to tell me what more I need to be doing.
Followup from last week’s ads: No luck on the WordPress guru yet, but that’s completely nonurgent and I’m not worried about it. The right person will come along eventually.
The ad about my managers being understanding of my RSI was sort of answered, in a totally unexpected way. I ended up having a sit-down with my immediate manager and telling her exactly what I need and what will happen if it gets any worse. I have real problems being assertive, but nothing exploded and the world didn’t end and I didn’t get fired, and now she has a clearer idea of what’s going on.
.-= Lindley´s last post … Three jewelry artists to admire =-.
Since I already got a request for my website, here it is.
.-= Lisa´s last post … =-.
I love looking through all the personal ads to see if there are any I can help with. Sometimes there’s one. Sometimes there’s nothing I can help with more than sending positive vibes. But it’s fun to have all this asking/helping energy here in one place. Good stuff.
I have a larger personal ad around a project I’m working on, but I have one that needs helping with first. So, here goes:
Here’s what I want:
to approach this whole moving/packing/letting go of the old/letting in the new process with a sense of wonder, fun, energy, and lightheartedness. I’d like to release the underlying stress/anxiety that has me jumping out of my seat at every little thing.
I’d like to find someone to purchase my wedding gown and old printer, so I can move those things out before I move. I’d like to find the box of books that has seemingly disappeared in the basement. And I’d like to move the old/broken a/c’s (yes there’s more than one) and bureau out of the house without any pain to me.
How could this happen? Well, a sense of calm and knowing everything is going to be o.k. would be good. I could also schedule in some self-care every day. Someone could see my craigslist ad for a wedding dress, love it, and snap it up. I could hire someone or barter with someone to remove the old a/c’s and bureau. Something else could happen that’s even better.
I commit to doing daily self-care (even if it’s only 5 minutes), taking deep breaths, putting up an ad for the printer, and remembering to find the joy in the little parts of this process because a lot of it is fun!
.-= leah´s last post … CED Challenge Check-In: August 3rd – 9th =-.
I want to keep on chugging through my scary assignment, which is due on Wednesday, and afterwards feel at least *somewhat* peaceful and content to let it go into the world. On Wednesday I would like to be able easily and naturally to return my focus to work that is quieter, gentler and more important to me than this assignment.
(It would of course be a huge bonus if the assignment itself got done easily and naturally. I don’t feel able to think through the pathways and commitments for that one, so I’m just saying I’ll take it if it comes.)
How this could happen:
-Through a combination of meeting myself, inspiration and good practices, the assignment goes well and I have less of the usual self-recriminations afterward.
-The recriminations themselves turn out to be something I can work with gently and this ends up being the Gentle Right Work for the week.
-Some other way.
My commitment, during and after the assignment:
-Emotional Border Cop on high alert to register anxiety, guilt, anger and other passers-through
-Open border policy (“you’re allowed to be here, come on through”)
-Also Red-Cross-mice at the border handing out unlimited Emergency Calming breaks and cups of tea
-When I recognize my Gentle Right Work for the week I will give it love and gratitude and I will do at least One Thing for it.
These ads are addictive.
What I want: A part-time, on-call tech editor/writer in the DC metro area to help us with our staggering workload.
This person is a quick study, great editor, familiar with the inner workings and mysteries of Word and Excel. He or she is friendly, easy to work with. Responsible. Used to the mysterious ways of government contracting.
How it could happen: The right person could respond to my Twitter note or LJ post, or the ad on the corporate website. Someone could know someone who’d be perfect.
My commitment: Making the right person feel welcomed and comfortable. Helping them get what they need and learning how things work. Being patient and available.
.-= Lindley´s last post … Three jewelry artists to admire =-.
As ever, thanks to Havi for creating this space and for showing the way. And thanks to all those who share in this process — overtly or silently.
As a sidenote/follow up to previous postings: I have learned over the past week that I’m unsure that I am able to receive what I ask for. Because I had someone offer me one of the things I specifically asked for, and I said no. Not only did I say no, I didn’t even remember that it was exactly what I had asked for. Mmmmmmmm. This felt like a big Helllloooooo! from the universe, and something that is likely a pattern and may require some habits detective-work.
It is also possible that I didn’t really want what I said I wanted.
It is possible both are true — I have trouble receiving and trouble knowing what I truly want.
So this week I am asking for help in these areas: I want to allow myself to receive. And I want to tune into my deeper self more acutely to hear what my heart really wants.
I have no clue how these will come to me.
My commitment is that by saying these words “out loud” here, that I am open to looking at what shows up. I know that sounds jargon-y, but I don’t have any other words that work.
These ads are wonderful! Oh, Havi, good luck finding an agent — that’ll be an ask for me someday, I hope, once I’ve made more space in my life for creativity.
Check-in for last week: Someone came to me through this blog, and through seeing my art, and offered me a completely ideal project. I can’t wait until my other deadline has passed and I can start working on it! The absolute best part of this is that it’s a job I know I can do well, both on an artistic and technical level. Confidence! Awesome!
Thing #1: I would like to finish a languishing commission piece for a friend of mine.
How this might happen: I get struck by inspiration and just get it underway. I sit down and start small, and find myself in the flow until I’m past the scary-intimidating portraits-of-actual-people parts. I work on it little by little until it’s grown into the piece we both want to see.
My commitment: I will let myself be intimidated by it, and afraid of it, and I will come from a place of knowing it’ll be a challenge and accepting that. I will make time every day to work on it, and accept that any progress at all is progress. I’ll try to allow in a balance between progress and perfectionism, neither accepting “good enough” too soon nor forcing myself to go for an unreachable “perfect.”
Thing #2: I would like to strike a balance with my money things. I have some money coming in (see above omg!) outside of the normal flow of things, and I neither want to hoard it to my detriment, nor let it all flow away into frivolity.
How this might happen: I could find a calm space in my whirling thoughts of “could” and “want” to figure out what my real priorities are for this money. I could do some Shiva Nata and see a better pattern for it. Some other source of money could surprise me by coming through and helping the balance more easily. Something else awesome and positive could surprise me.
My commitment: I will use both my logic and emotions to create a space in which I let the shoulds and coulds and wants find a balance that feels right to me, without guilt and second-guessing once the decisions are made.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Features, Benefits, and the eternal Why =-.
Here’s what I want:
A visual artist who wants to be my free coaching client for 4 months (September to December 2009) while I do creativity coaching training with Eric Maisel.
This person:
– wants to grow and is ready to do some work on his/her creative stuff
– will email me once or twice a week for the duration of the coaching
– will help me improve as a coach and as a person just by being honest and engaged in the process
– is hopeful and passionate about their art
Ways this could come to me:
A friend or someone in my network reads my blog post about this and volunteers.
Someone sees my personal ad here and contacts me (email on my website).
I think of just the right person and ask them directly and they say yes!
Here’s how I want to get it:
The connection I make with this person feels kind of magical. Like there’s some particular coincidence or synchronicity that tells me that coaching this person was meant to be.
My commitment:
I will put out the word on my blog and Facebook that I’m looking for a visual artist client.
I will being my best to the coaching relationship and respond promptly and thoughtfully.
I will be open to learning and having fun in the process.
.-= Alison Gresik´s last post … Heaven, I’m in Heaven =-.
LAP – heh, I’m not just holding out for a minimum wage job. I just brought that up to mean that any job I get would likely be OK pay-wise. thinking big, thinking small – though right now I’m just thinking of getting hired!
Alison – wanted to email you but couldn’t figure out how. Just visual artists? Because if you are willing to work with a performance person I’m up for coaching 🙂
.-= Tiara´s last post … Dear Malaysian mainstream media (and also, dear Jacqueline Ann Surin) =-.
Wishing you a quiet week.
Thought you might like to sink into this site, and this post
http://zintaaistars.blogspot.com/2009/08/swallowed-by-flower-curved-into-bone.html about Georgia O’Keefe
.-= Mahala Mazerov´s last post … Your Turn To Ask, A Meditation Survey =-.
Havi,
Well somehow or maybe by the grace of spirit people, I landed on your site this past Friday and what a site it is. Wow, I have spent lots of time reading and falling in love with you, your writing, Selma and your people. Thank you for sharing yourself. I am sending good vibes for your agent to show up and also for everyone who asked for a thing.
The asking thing, I’ve never been good at it myself. My friend Helen once said to me, “they can’t say yes if you don’t ask.” I have always loved that saying.
Still not so good about asking so I thought I should try now.
Thing #1
What I want:
The courage to start my blog. For all my work to come together and fall into place. For the writing to just flow and for me to find my “voice.”
Ways this could come to me:
My inner knowing will help me a lot.
People will support me by listening to my ideas and encouraging me when needed.
Maybe I could find a writing mentor too.
My commitment:
I promise to take the time to listen to the inner me.
To spend time writing often.
To put my blog up once I have 10 pieces ready to go.
To love and have fun with the process.
I think I should do the Shiva Dance too.
Thing #2
What I want:
Time to write- which means I need to earn money a little differently. So I need 10 private clients. I do the coach-ey thing but by empowering women to be their all.
Ways this could happen:
Friend or client recommendations.
People see my ads.
I allow myself to be seen, something important I learned here.
I could spread my happiness and love of life so everyone could see me.
My commitment:
To read and study and write so that I may be awesome for all my just right people.
To take care of my needs so I am at my best for those in my care.
To love, love, love what I do and what I do best; helping people be their most.
Thank you so much for you and your blog.
I want each of you to get what you desire and that it makes you happy beyond limits…
.-= Patsi Krakoff aka The Blog Squad´s last post … How to Write Some Serious Stuff… =-.
I want to not be afraid to ask for what I want. It feels so big and overwhelming and we’ve had so many near misses on answers that I am afraid to even think of something to ask for.
I want OU to offer AFLAC and for Marty to be the agent in charge since he’s the one who’s done the legwork for it and has earned it. (I want Marty to enjoy the fruits of his labor; no more earning the bonus and then having capricious DM’s take it away)
I want someone to ask about the price of a quilt, and, when hearing the answer, not flinching, take out their checkbook and say “I’ll take it”.
I am open to how both of these events could happen. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon could work for either one (IOW we know someone who knows the right person). Someone could read this and check out my blog/website. The person who is not wanting to offer AFLAC at OU could take a more lucrative position elsewhere, leaving a more amiable person in charge who loves the service and can’t believe they don’t offer it already, and mention it to someone who knows Marty has been by multiple times.
I promise to be gracious and grateful and generous, and pay it forward.
I think that about sums it up for now.
Andi
.-= Andi´s last post … Uses for Hand-Dyed Fabric Part I =-.
Stacey: You don’t have to wait for 10 pieces! Just get a blog going – Blogger, WordPress.com, Livejournal, Diaryland, wherever – and start writing. If it helps you, write the 10 as drafts on the blog platform, and then just publish once you’re ready. A lot of us didn’t really get into the swing of things until many entries in anyway 🙂
.-= Tiara´s last post … Dear Malaysian mainstream media (and also, dear Jacqueline Ann Surin) =-.
Amen! So be it – to all of the above – the universe always conspires in our favour 🙂
I am loving this ritual, and this week I want to bring an idea I have for a parenting book out into the light. It has been mulling around in my head all weekend and it wants to come out!
How this can happen: my darling and dear husband who is very very tired when he gets home from work (usually), will be feeling not so tired one night this week and will sit with me and brainstorm it out, draw it out on paper and coach me through the resistances that come up for me. It would also be great if by the time hubby comes home that I’m not very very tired either 🙂
Another way, I can cancel a commitment I have made for this week and work on it then and show hubby when he gets home.
My commitment: to honour this idea and its uniqueness by doing all that I can to make sure it sees the light of day. Not to scare myself off by thinking, no one will want to read this or no one will think it is that amazing – and just to do it anyway and trust that it is inside me for a reason.
Thank you for my book!
Thank you Havi and thank you all for the beautiful inspiration xxx
.-= Marilyn´s last post … Universal Art =-.
Eileen–
Ooh, ooh, maybe I can help!
Check out the weddings link: http://www.inspiritconsulting.com.
Shakti is soulful and open and absolutely has the presence to lend your ceremony a sense of gravitas without making things too solemn. She’s in Durango, CO, but I bet she’s willing to travel. We met at a Nia White Belt Intensive in Portland a few weeks back, and she’s the first person who came to mind when I read your request.
Good luck. The perfect fit is out there!
paige
Wahoo, Havi, perfect agent on the way and Shivanaut Manual almost ready!
Here’s what I want:
A wonderful garden apartment in Jerusalem — in Rechavia, German Colony, or other centrally located neighborhood. Surrounded with trees and garden space, quiet, with lots of charm and “cozy” energy. Lots of windows, airflow, and open merpesot (no closed in uhh, I can’t think what merpesot is in English… patio/deck??) Furnished nicely with comfortable beds, wireless internet, and kosher kitchen.
How this can happen: the owners spends most of their time in America/Canada/Argentina… and don’t want to rent out their apartment; they want someone to lovingly take care of it and in return, we can stay a a few days a week in Jerusalem, on Shabbat and holidays, etc.
My commitment: to care for the apartment as if it were my own, to bring awesome healing energy to the apartment and to the owners, and to spend my time in the apartment doing cool, healing, restorative activities.
There, I’ve finally said it! Thanks for providing some an awesome Personal Ads venue.
Yael
.-= Yael Reinhardt-Matsliah´s last post … It’s More Than a Website =-.
What I want: I would like to get paid, or at least compensated somehow, for my writing.
How this can happen: One of the websites I write for free for will suddenly get an influx of extra cash from advertisers drawn to the site in part because of the hard work of its volunteer writers, and the site owners will start paying us. Or, I’ll start getting writing gigs from people who see my articles on any number of topics (gardening, composting, social justice issues, teaching and education, MMA, homemade sugar scrubs, interviews, book reviews, etc.) Or, people could be open to my idea of barter so I can at least get compensated with products or travel. Or I could get hired as a feature writer for a magazine. I don’t know if there’s one in Tucson, but I could work from home. Or I could get an internship somewhere and get my foot in the door… instead of saying I’m overqualified and they are looking for college students, some free paper or mag could decide my expertise is just what they’re looking for.
What I don’t want: I’d rather not keep writing for free forever in hopes of a better offer that never comes, or “getting my name out there” so other people who read my articles or interviews can ask me to write for free. And I’d rather not freelance forever because I don’t want to spend all of my time trying to sell myself. I think my work speaks for itself.
My commitment:
-I will continue to write every single day, both for public sites and for myself.
-I will continue to send invoices to people who DID say they would pay me until they do.
-I will continue to pursue opportunities.
-I will keep working on the book idea!
-I will pursue writing for free for non-profits so that if I do write for free I will actually help someone in the process
-I will work towards changing the ratio of “articles I write for free that get posted/published right away” : “article queries that, if published, would actually get me paid”
-I will update my site sometime this week with the dozens of new works I have floating around the WWW
.-= Yael Grauer´s last post … Preserving Summer Herbs and Spices! =-.
i did it! i did it!
I did my very own personal ad.
(mine was for a kindred spirit in creative collaboration)
its a little scary, and totally fun.
i put it out there on my blog for the whole world to see; i mean that’s kinda the point right, puttin out there.
I LOVE this practice Havi, thank you.
.-= Laura´s last post … craving collaboration. =-.
@Tiara – oh, sweetie. Hard! I can really tell how frustrated you feel when you ask for something repeatedly and keep bumping into pain.
Here’s what I’m thinking …
What if your ask was more about your ability to receive the thing than the thing itself? Like, if you asked to be able to get better at opening up to having different forms of support in yourself. Or if you asked to get better at noticing opportunities and connecting with them …
In terms of the “LOA” stuff — for me, this practice is not at all about that. I mean, if that’s a reality theory that you’re working with, you’re welcome to use it.
It’s just that for me this practice is about clarity. It’s about getting clear on what is needed and then making space for the internal work to happen where I can open up to the thing that would be most helpful for me. It’s less like placing an order and more like coming closer to myself.
Does that make sense? I’m not sure if I explained that very well — it probably deserves a post of its own! In the meantime, a hug to you for your hard, and the wish that everything you need will come to you.
@Ruthy – mmm, beautiful ask.
@Eileen – oh, that’s wonderful! And you might want to talk to my gentleman friend — he got himself all official-ized to officiate at our friend’s flying spaghetti monster wedding in California.
Maybe he has thoughts/ideas that would be useful.
Yay!
@Casey – good call. I also find that writing Very Personal Ads can stress me out because I don’t know how to frame them or phrase them. So I try to just dump them out and see what happens. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.
@Lindley – whoo! The world didn’t end! Good for you. Nice resolution! Also, that sounds like it was a scary thing for you and I love that it ended up with good results.
Excellent.
@Stacy – yay!
And yeah, I agree with Tiara. The “ten pieces” rule is stressful. I think 2-3 are fine, if you feel like you need something ready before you start.
Though really, you can also just start and not tell anyone until you’re ready. 🙂
Oh, you guys. These ads are so, so beautiful. I love that you do this with me!
I love this stream of comments of Very Personal Ads. And I love Jennifer. I attended her Writers Spa in Taos in 2004, then coached with her – and it got my writing creativity rolling.
Havi, can’t wait to meet you someday – love your blog!!
Lindley,
I wanted to respond to your VPA above (8/3/09, 230pm), but could not find any way on your links to contact you! So here I am. I am a technical editor/writer (mostly scientific), but am not in the DC area (San Diego). If you can use someone to work remotely (as I do with most of my clients), maybe I can help with your “staggering” workload! Here is what you asked for (all of which I do – except live in DC, of course):
“What I want: A part-time, on-call tech editor/writer in the DC metro area to help us with our staggering workload.
This person is a quick study, great editor, familiar with the inner workings and mysteries of Word and Excel. He or she is friendly, easy to work with. Responsible. Used to the mysterious ways of government contracting.”
I have done lots of government stuff too (yup, that can be a pain), in my work as proposal coordinator and tech editor for environmental engineering firms. You can contact me via the email on my blog (see link – or Havi has it for this comment) – or let me know how to contact you! I am also on LinkedIn. I see you’re on Twitter – will try you there.
I see you finding the perfect person to help with this (even if it isn’t me!) – I sure know what those grueling workloads are like. And I love that you have your creative jewelry side too!
~Christina
.-= Christina Solstad´s last post … Why I Missed Chaco Solstice 2009 =-.
Hi there! I’m pretty new here, been lurking and absorbing all your wonderful thoughts. I finally decided to take a step and create my own personal ad. So here goes:
Wanted: The ability to embrace all the huge changes and “putting myself out there-ness” that are going on in my life right now with joy.
How this could happen: I would embrace the scared parts and possibly not freak out so much. I could realize that I really am already safe and worthwhile and don’t need to change.
My commitment: I will find space between the scared and the reaction and allow it to exist, inserting comfort and love into that space. Also I will tell myself that all that matters is trying, not necessarily being good at everything right this second.
Oh no, Christina, I had no idea I was that hard to contact! Fixing that right now on the blog. I’m at pearlandopal@gmail.com.
Unfortunately, the people above me who make the decisions are committed to having someone here in the office in Virginia during training, so I don’t think you’re this position’s Right Person. If they loosen that restriction or need another remote position, though, I’ll definitely have you send a resume over.
.-= Lindley´s last post … Three jewelry artists to admire =-.
Lindley,
Thanks for the contact info! And best of luck and much good energy your way to find someone to take some of the work burden from you!
~Christina
.-= Christina Solstad´s last post … Why I Missed Chaco Solstice 2009 =-.
Havi & Tiara,
Thank you for the inspiration. I will begin my work.
Now I will ask for wordpress help. Someone I know must understand that more tech-ey stuff. In the mean time I will write and write more and listen for inner guidance.
Wishing the best for everyone.
I am thankful Havi for this great thing you have started.
My wish is for freedom from an office job (8-5 cubicle world) to puruse helping those who help others, or entreprenuers looking for an outlet for designs.
We have found an online store option that allows us to create free sites for organizations as a fund-raising option. They make money when things are purchased but the manufacturer handles all the processing. It’s beautiful and I hope to help groups and organizations in their fund-raising efforts. (We are using it for an outlet for our personal designs – an option to a retail site.)
To see how this might look, visit http://www.ffdemo.gigabitprint.com
Wish: for a set of 100 delightful clients
Commitment: to spread the word through personal contacts and welcoming sites like this – even when it feels weird to open up to rejection
Vision: that others would share my vision and be able to raise funds to accomplish their goals
.-= Anne´s last post … To Boldly Go… =-.
Havi, thank you for providing the space for us to ask for what we want in our lives. I’m very grateful for you!
Here’s my request:
Wanted: the daily ability to pull words from within to write short posts about the pictures I put on my blog. Hopefully this will build so that more words will come. Also, inspiration. And trust in those words.
How this might happen: I am sparked by something I read, a flash of inspiration comes to me while I am walking on the treadmill, maybe I meet someone by chance, maybe someone starts to follow my blog.
My commitment: I will show up each day to write. I will be open to the possibility that what I have to say will impact people.
The universe has been very kind and good to me. I am thankful for what I already have, and I welcome whatever is in store.
Love,
Catherine
I love everybody’s ads. I hope it’s okay that this is more of a thank you note.
A few weeks ago I wrote my own little ad for something to reverse insidious lower back pain. I realized one day I didn’t remember the last time I woke up without wincing when I got out of bed, hobbling into a normal walk one ouchful step at a time. And I don’t have back problems, so I didn’t really notice. And when I did notice, I ignored it because I didn’t know what to do about it. And that helped as much as you’d think. Anyway, the timeline is fuzzy (who can remember, er, three weeks ago?) but I wrote the ad and ordered your Yin Yoga. On Friday, I watched the lecture. (I like theory.) On Saturday, I watched bits of the practices from the couch. On Sunday I tried a little Flying Dragon (Whee! And ow.) and on Monday I did the spine series.
On Tuesday morning, I woke up and my back did not hurt. At all. I didn’t expect this one bit. I thought I’d give it a month or so and hope for a little thaw. I wiggled to look for some pain, and nope, nada.
I’m not a miracle cure type of gal. I expect (and want) to have to keep doing the yoga and exploring the practice. But the way it worked so unexpectedly fast and thoroughly made it feel like a direct reply.
Short version: Thank you for non-sucky yoga and for very personal ads and for all the stuff I love reading here.
.-= Sandra´s last post … Eating lunch alone together =-.
I am getting into the swing of the Ask.
Here is another request from me:
Want: I would like to be able to help people find wonderful careers that will sustain them and make them happy. I already do this in a volunter capacity but would love to get paid to do it.
How this might happen: The non-profit where I volunteer might get some cash and offer me a part-time position. Or a place I did some consulting for a couple of years ago might offer me some counseling hours. (I set up coffee with the owner for next week)
My commitment: I will decide I really want to do this and be open to ways of getting there. I will also not procrastinate and go back into my shell without reaching out to anyone who could help.
What I Want: I’m ready to break through some pretty hefty thought blocks regarding money, that I seem to have going on. I’m looking for an intuitive or healer than can get me to break these (seeming) monetary blocks and help me to rebuild better, stronger and more open to receiving!
How it Could Happen: Someone that I know might introduce me to this person. I could just bump into this person while out and about. Someone might point out a book or website, or audio or what not that can get me started on my own.
My Commitment: I’m willing to be open to any signs or messages that might come my way. I’m also willing to do some leg work on my own by spending a little time with myself (and my “guys”) and setting the intention to make the change, remove the blocks and start the rebuilding process. I wholly intend, here and now, to release these blocks and reprogram my thoughts…for the good of all involved 😉
.-= Katy´s last post … Are You Looking For a Little Accountability In Your Day? =-.
oh man oh man oh man!! I just had to jump on here real quick and post an update!
LOOK!
So one of my ads was this:
a second job
I need some extra, reliable income. Especially if I am going to be moving soon. I work 8-5 m/f and would like to find an evening and weekend gig. I would love to be able to contribute creatively and/or work at something good that helps people. I would like to avoid call centers, hassling people on the street to help various charities and fast food. I would love to be around art, art supplies, art classes and/or elderly people that could use some company.
And just now I responded to this!:
Fun Art For the Elderly
I am looking for someone who loves art, any kind of art but mostly painting.
I am the activity director at a retirement home. There are some great ladies here who love art. I am looking for someone to come in once a week or every other week and do art projects. Mostly they like to paint (water color) but they would love instruction of any kind. If this sounds fun to you please send me an e-mail.
So I did send an email and I am waiting for details….. SO COOL! Thank you for this space Havi. I would not have had my eyes peeled for this, much less actually responded if it was not for all I have learned here. *high five*!
Wanted: A place to live. At a reasonable rent, in a safe neighborhood, in a city I’d love living in (green, things to do), where I don’t have to have a car to get places. I think this might be in New York City, but I’m not sure. It also might be in Philadelphia.
How it might happen: I might find an advertisement online, or maybe someone sees this and says “I know exactly where you should live!” or something will happen to draw me to the place where I should be.
My commitment: I’ll look diligently, and also take the time to make sure that this place is where I should be before committing to it. I’ll take things slowly. And when I find the place, I’ll treat it like home – actually settle in, for once.