Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Oy, what a week. Seriously, it mostly sucked.
Things are moving. Very quickly. It’s kind of an interesting time for me.
And by interesting I mean challenging, painful and hard.
I had so much hard that I’m not sure I even want to talk about it. But it’s Friday. So let’s do this.
The hard stuff
Having to be a momma hen on the blog.
I don’t want to be a momma hen.
But I am sometimes. And I also want my comments section to be a really safe space for the people who need that safety the most.
That means stepping in sometimes and reminding everyone how this space works. That’s what happened on Sunday. I meditated on it and it was what I felt I needed to do.
But yeah, it presses all sorts of discomfort buttons for me.
Also, once I’m in momma hen mode, I can’t really get out of it for a while. I’m all protective of everyone and there is excessive wing-flapping and feeding people.
I got triggered.
Maybe the momma hen bit was what triggered me. Maybe it was the email insanity of people raging, complaining, warning, notifying and generally expressing their pain in my direction.
Maybe it was working way, way too many hours trying to make sure the Kitchen Table was ready.
Whatever it was, I wasn’t in good shape this week. Actually, I’ve been kind of emotionally wiped out.
Everyone else was having their stuff come up and their stuff was triggering mine and … and and and.
So lots of tears. Lots of temper tantrums. Some throwing of things at walls.
And at least three times that I swore I was going to shut down the blog, move back to Israel and go back to teaching yoga. Like, today.
Luckily, the fact that there are all these amazing people waiting for me at the Kitchen Table meant I kind of had to stay. Wry smile.
Results of being triggered.
I wrote a bitchy post yesterday. I hurt people’s feelings. I thought a lot about what it was like back when I didn’t have any money at all and how helpless and horrible that feels.
I worried — a lot — that if someone says something critical to me, they could end up being that critical with other people at the Kitchen Table. And then oyvavoy, I’ll have to mediate and intervene and maybe even ask them to leave. I get protective.
Oh, what else, let’s see. I processed a lot of resentment and hurt. I read. I cried a lot. Basically this was not a fun week to be me or to be around me.
And then, on top of being triggered, there was the next point, which is not really about babies.
It’s like you’re having a baby but no one else cares.
No, I didn’t have a baby.
It’s just that launching a big, huge thing is pretty much like how I imagine it would be like if you were having a baby and everyone else is all, “Hey, you want to go have a cup of tea?”
And you say, “I can’t. I’m having a baby.” And they say, “Oh, okay. How about tomorrow?”
It’s really hard to get the damn point across about just how much time and space this new thing is taking up in my life.
Yes, I know people are waiting for me to call them back or hang out with them or answer their “Do you hate me? Do you? Please say you don’t!” emails.
Of course I don’t hate you. Of course not, sweetheart.
It’s just that I can’t do it right now. BECAUSE OF THE BABY!
Gah. Overwhelmed by the love.
We got inundated by applications to the Kitchen Table. I know, I know. This is a good thing.
It’s just that we weren’t equipped to process that many applications at once. So in addition to everything else going on, I’ve been coming up with new processing systems and bringing in (and training) new group leaders. Ow ow ow.
Petty complaints. Thousands of them.
Some people had very, very legitimate complaints this week. Some people expressed their anger and their pain and they were right to do so.
But a lot of it was really random and just kind of unnecessary.
Again, I know. It’s part of being internet famous. This week I had less patience for it than usual.
You know, I don’t write to Guy Kawasaki to tell him I don’t get what all the fuss is about.
I don’t leave comments on super-popular blogs telling them I think they’re overrated.
I’m sorry that some of you are not getting what you want here. I really, really can’t be all things to all people. Luckily, there are a gazillion and seven other blogs and maybe you’ll find another one where you feel comfortable.
*tosses computer out of window in exasperation*
Anyway. This week had a lot of pretty hellish aspects and I’m still feeling like I just need some kindness and love, so let’s move on to the good.
The good stuff
Emergency Calming Techniques.
It’s probably embarrassing that I use my own products to calm down and destuckify, but I was kind of a wreck this week. As you may have noticed.
And they really, truly helped. I listened to the audio recordings part and it made everything way, way, way less horrible. Without them, I’d probably be on a plane back to Tel Aviv.
Blogging Therapy.
The ladies from my Blogging Therapy class so completely rock.
Seeing and hearing all their inspiring successes and interesting realizations was the highlight of my week.
It is incredible what happens when kind, insightful people get together to work on their stuff. We did some neat shifting. And I completely adore them all.
Internet friends! Hooray!
On Tuesday night Selma and I had dinner with Chris Guillebeau from The Art of Non-Conformity.
We’ve been emailing back and forth for several months now, and I promised that if he made it to Portland I’d bake bread.
So I did. And my gentleman friend made foods. Foods!
And it was so great. It’s hard to find people in my line of work who really have integrity. I mean, there’s a lot of slime in the online world and it can get a bit lonely being someone who’s on a mission, you know?
Chris is such a mensch. I like him! Can you tell?
Plus, I don’t get to talk shop all that often because most of my friends don’t know (or care) about running an online business or writing a weirdly popular blog for a very specific type of person.
So that part was really great too.
Plus he agreed to teach a class at the Kitchen Table. Fun!
I know who my true fans are.
Yes, I know that not all my True Fans and Right People are joining me at the Kitchen Table.
For some of you, it’s just not the right time yet … or there are money stucknesses … or maybe it won’t ever be the right time, and that’s fine and I still love you just the same.
But a chunk of my True Fans showed up this week to try my Next Big Thing without me giving them any clear reason why they should. And that, my friends, is very, very cool.
I didn’t write copy. I didn’t sell it. I didn’t write to my list. I basically just said “Give me a few hundred dollars and we’re going to do this thing and it’s going to be great”.
And a ton of people just jumped on it. And it was so clear to me that these are my people. Not my only people. Just my people.
It was really beautiful and I’m tearing up again right now just thinking about it.
The deep trust that people have that yes, I will lead my tribe (in the Seth Godin sense) to the right place … absolutely awe-inspiring.
Ez is here.
So my brother moved in with us and it’s awesome. We’ve been collapsing in giggles, going on walks, piling chili peppers into everything and just generally having a ball.
He is so much fun. And I am so relieved and happy that he’s here.
Naomi called again.
Talking to Naomi makes me feel better about everything. Even when I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Even when I’m feeling frustrated and annoyed about everything.
Even if my friends are mostly really far away, it’s still heart-warming to know that they’re there.
It’s Friday.
Deep deep breath.
It’s Friday. I’m so glad.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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I got a lot of unexpected flack when we launched our new web service. I wasn’t prepared for random people on the internet saying we had to pull our heads out of our asses — in public, to other strangers, not even to us. Or the other rants cussing us out.
I also wasn’t prepared for people being all aggro about the things the service did or didn’t do, as if I had forced them to try it and somehow I had personally screwed up their life. With my software.
It knocked me on my ass for about a week.
Sounds like you’re getting a lot of the exact same stuff. I guess that’s (erk) normal.
Amys last blog post..Pricing your consulting: You’re doing it wrong
Havi,
can I just be so cheeky and give you a big hug from Berlin?
I have been following this blog for some time now and it’s one of my favourites, most of all because you are putting so much of your person in it. (Please just ignore any language errors, English is my second language)
I am not with you at the Kitchen Table, but your blog is giving me lots to think about, and I hope very much that you are keeping it on (selfish me!).
Ulla
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..Mozart: Rondo Alla Turca
Oh, Havi. What a week. I write this sending you kindness and love. Fresh, heart-grown goodness…
…and a random fact about a chicken named Mike who lived 18 months after having his head cut off:
http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/story.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken
Shine On, Bright Star,
Erika
Erika Harriss last blog post..An Open Letter to Social Mavens and Shivanauts
oy what a week (hugs)
Still I think I have learned lots just by how you have shared how you handled it and processed it and been with it, etc. so thanks for that 🙂
Would it be perverse of me to say that this Kitchen Table thing must be a great thing because look at the reaction you have gotten from it?? – sure some of that reaction has been bad and frankly sucky, but there has been a lot of good awesomeness too in how many people can’t wait to be at the Kitchen Table with you!
Evelines last blog post..For Presence
Just sending love and kindness your way! I hope the weekend brings you some reprieve…
Dawns last blog post..PC Load letter. What the fuck does that mean?*
Hugs, Havi. Just hugs. (more would just be more stuff to process.)
@Amy – Wow. I’m sorry you had to go through all that … and yeah, I *do* find it reassuring that this is apparently normal and not just weirdness in my world. Though (sigh) it’s hard recognizing that no matter what you do, you’re going to step on a LOT of toes.
@Ulla – THANK YOU! I appreciate it so so much. And really, no need to worry about the language thing. Your English is terrific and you don’t even want to know how many charming mistakes I make in German!
Give my lieblingsstadt Berlin my love and tell it I’ll come back to it soon.
@Erika – As always, you bring the fabulous and also the high entertainment value!
@Dawn, Lisa & Eveline: Hugs. Thank you. Appreciating so much. You guys are wonderful.
I guess all the negative stuff you’re getting is what can happen when you really put yourself out there (*applause*). It’s like that in “real” life, too, and, as we all know, the fear of that Big Ugly can keep us from moving forward. So, thanks Havi, for showing us how its done when that happens. BIG hugs.
@Havi, whoops, I meant that to come out more reassuring than it did. But it sounds like you got my message regardless. D’oh 🙂
You’re not a big bad awful magnet any more so than anyone else.
In a few days, it’ll all blow over and the people who don’t appreciate this new twist on your awesomeness will have dissipated. 🙂 And the rest of us will still be here.
Amys last blog post..Two excellent, free, design ebooks
Aww… sounds like a rough rough week… I just thought I would send some lovin’ to you too… you’ve helped me so much and you don’t even know it (because even though I have tried to register for the Kitchen Table thing but I never get the requisite email for how to continue with the registering thing, which is likely a sign that right now I am not ready yet)…
Big HUGS 🙂
Pams last blog post..E-Value- Ation (part 2)
((((BIG OLE HUGS)))) for Havi and Big Hugs for Selma from BarbieQ, Allis, and Petuna (my yard parrots).
In my opinion, you have been understanding to a lot of people (including me)and it is greatly appreciated.
I think sometimes we meet people that seem to have it all together and so positive, that we don’t really realize they are normal people too. We don’t realize that they have “moments” also.
If I at all added to your stress this week, I apologize, didn’t mean to. When I’m in a good mood I can be dense sometimes…or maybe it’s just the blonde hair? lol
Amy Mommaertss last blog post..Asking… the Simplest Things Can Be Difficult
I think your Blogging series is the best on the web. Great stuff. So when you made fun of my noozletter box (yeah, you did :)) … I removed it. Only do that for people how know there stuff.
This is meant as a biiiiiiig compliment 🙂
A big cheers from The Netherlands.
Bass last blog post..Epiphany: Virtual Teams And Social Media Tribes Are The Same
This is my permission slip not to be All Things To All People because that’s just impossible.
I remember when I launched the Amnar podcasts and although there were lots of people who were excited, a lot of other people were just “So what?” and I thought “But this is my baby!” So I totally understand that this is HUGE.
Experience over several years of being online has taught me that occasionally, you run into people whose buttons you push. Sometimes, you push their buttons because other people Get You but they don’t. Sometimes, you push their buttons because People Like You and they don’t like that. I’ve had people follow me around like that because I had, at one time, a big popular blog with lots of people following me. And a lot of other people reacted badly to that. Sometimes it’s easier for some people to lash out rather than sit back and think “Oh, this is bringing up stuff for me.” Deep down they feel lonely and isolated. That’s why they do it, mostly. They just want to be heard, but they haven’t found the magic in them that will make everybody flock to them – and I’m sure it must be there. We’ve all got something.
Anyway, it’s not necessarily up to you to help them see that. People will only find their magic when they’re ready to. You don’t have to heal the world.
*Hugs*
Joely Blacks last blog post..The things I think that I know are stupid but I think them anyway
@Joely – Thanks for the reminder and the love.
@Bas – I appreciate the compliment, really! And sorry for going all rant-ey on you.
@Amy M. (actually and Amy H too) – That’s really sweet. Completely appreciated!
@Pam – Thanks, dear. And OH NO! A something-weird in the system? I’m going to have Marissa look into it and get back to you, okay? Sorry about that – not supposed to happen!
Hug, hug, hug, hug, hug
I’ve been reading some stuff by Mollie Gordon (of the Accidental Entrepreneur) about this idea of finding the folks who are exactly right for me — so it’s really interesting to watch your journey as you go through the same process.
As a career “fixer” (genus:male) I, too, like to focus on all the people who have problems with what I don’t give them, for them, offer them or provide for them — and ignore the ones who are really happy with exactly what I have to offer.
I’m finding it some of the most difficult work that I’ve ever done, and it’s going very slowly with lots of backsliding. But it feels good.
Well if it ever gets to be more than you can bear, I recently saw the perfect way for you to go:
The Electric Bath Duck (One Use Only)
fancycwabss last blog post..Milky Way Transit Authority
Looking at this (found via Ectomo)…
Hang in there, Havi. You were meant to do this. Enjoy the ride. Ignore the fools. There are many.
Sues last blog post..I’m LifeCoaching Oprah After Yesterday’s Post
I suddenly thought of something else.
You mentioned being embarrassed about using your own products on yourself.
I’ve always thought of that as being a number 1 sign that they really, really work. If you, with all the work that you’ve done and all the steps you’ve taken, still go back to your own products for emotional support, that means they’re quality. All the people I have been involved with in self-development and such use their own products themselves. It shows that you have faith in them.
So, rock on basically. Have a cup of tea.
Joely Blacks last blog post..I made a podcast! All by myself! Run!
I’ve launched web projects before through my previous job — a job that I could honestly care less about. And, THAT was hard. People don’t always get what it really takes.
I can only imagine how much more raw everything is in such a personal launch. Yuck. This is exactly why some of us (me) procrastinate our own web sites and come here for inspiration!
It took serious courage for you to do this thing in the first place. So may I just say *thank you* for taking all the hits in order to provide such a really cool service.
And, congratulations. As painful as it was, you had a baby and she looks happy and healthy. Before you know it, she’ll be cooing and smiling. 😉
Havi,
I love the having a baby analogy.
Actually when my friends give birth I do my best to say, I’m over here, just loving and supporting your from afar. I know you’ll be overwhelmed for a while. Let me know where and when you need me and I’ll show up. There’s no “we’ve been out of touch” penalties, (not that there ever are, but you know how new mommas get, worried about everyone and everything.)
So new momma, you’ve got my support from a distance.
It’s a beautiful baby you’ve got there. I see great things in your baby’s future.
What a blessing.
Juliannas last blog post..Love Thy Self
I just wanted to join in and say (after catching up on three days’ worth of your posts in one go) that I think what you’re doing is amazing. Go, girl! In a world where (in the UK at least) marketing consultants can charge £500 A DAY I think your pricing is extremely fantabulous! I’d love to be at the Kitchen Table with you and Selma. Can’t do it right now, for time rather than money reasons, but I hope to be able to join you in the future. I’ll continue to drop in on you both on the blog though. BIG hug coming your way (and yummy ducky treats for Selma) and have a great weekend.
Can I just send you a great big gigantic hug? Really?
Cus I have nothing else to say, because I can’t even put it into words. Clearly this week has been horrible and hard and just…ick.
So hug. And another one. And another one.
You rock and your right people all adore you. And that includes me 🙂
Sarah Marie Lacys last blog post..What I wish they taught in schools.
Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry your week’s been so hard.
Birth. Labour. A beautiful, amazing new baby. So many big, powerful creations that you’re bringing forth right now.
Take really good care of yourself, new mamma. And know that we’re holding you and your baby in love, blessing, and the great net of the Sacred that cradles us all.
Lots of love and tender hugs,
Hiro
Hiro Bogas last blog post..Creative Connection: Where’s Your Muse When the Baby’s Spitting Up at 3 am?
Havi, I’ve only recently discovered your site, and I’m getting so much inspriration and just plain goodness out of it. Your style really speaks to me, and you have so much to say that I really need to hear right now. Thank you.
My chicken:
Hard stuff:
1. Constantly running into my wall of self-doubt in the course of tacking my current big, potentially life-altering project. It’s a step outside of my comfort zone, and it’s a constant struggle to get to a feeling of capability and confidence with it.
2. Setting boundaries with people who think that because I work at home, I don’t really *do* anything and have all the time in the world to chat or take care of “just one little thing.”
3. Readjusting priorities and making hard choices about what I can and cannot do over the next month to accommodate the work commitments I’ve taken on. I’ve had to put off meetings with some friends I love to spend time with, but really and truly cannot fit in this month.
Good stuff:
1. Clearing my desk and to-do list and web bookmarks of the nonessential and giving myself permission to let it all go, just for a little while.
2. A fantastically supportive husband who doesn’t care if we scrounge leftovers or eat out of the slow cooker for the next month and asks how he can make it easier for me.
3. An opportunity for another new project from a new client, one that is interesting and not too taxing and a higher pay rate than anything else I’ve done to date.
4. Finding this site and really resonating with the other voices I’ve read in the comments.
Lori Paximadiss last blog post..Resolutions
Just have to say that your “bitchy post” is still really sweet and caring by pretty much anyone else’s standards. Lot of hugs for the hard and wishing you all the best with your new baby – it will start sleeping through the night in no time 🙂 Thanks for all you do!
(And I agree that Chris is great. His blog is one of the few besides yours where I read every single post.)
Dearest Havi,
Oh Sweetie! First of all I am sending you super big, warm, grounding, nurturing hugs from another long time Mama Hen.
So sorry to hear that this week has been so difficult. What you are going through is definitely the challenging ( I was going to say “dark”) side of biggification. But, for better or for worse, it is all totally normal. A friend of mine just said to me ( when I was telling her about my own struggles with my most recent expansion) ” The higher the stakes, the bigger the craziness.”
I can’t tell you how many times, as I am putting together my own teacher training, I have said to my husband ” Remind me again why I am doing this? Is there really a point? Cause I’m not having very much fun here!”
But there is a really big, big point. You are having a baby. ( Congratulations, by the way! She is just GORGEOUS). You are birthing something into the world that the world really needs. We need your leadership, your vision, your compassion, your genius, your courage and your heart. You are on the cutting edge of doing things a whole new way. And that is scary and threatening and so very compelling to a lot of folks. And it’s going to bring out the very BEST and the very worst in people. Amazing wonderfulness and people shining their brightest light at the same time that people are projecting their crap all over you. It’s just life on this crazy, love filled,love starved planet!
Take really, really good super, duper care of your self. And know that you are deeply, deeply loved. AND that you are totally doing the right thing.
And that you have a posse of champions and supporters that are on call to kick ass and take no prisoners on a moments notice. Just sayin’.
Hugs, hugs, hugs,
Chris
chris zydels last blog post..The ART OF INNER CLUTTER CLEARING: MAKING ROOM FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE
Oh Havi – if I haven’t said it already (which, let’s face it, I probably haven’t), CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby! I know that things are going to be super challenging, and you’ll be missing out on sleep and, well, other sorts of “normal” life things for a little bit, but I also know that your life is being forever changed for the better! So YAY YAY YAY YAY for you!
Sending you my love – and my gratitude for showing me that we all have “stuff” that’s just hanging around, just waiting for the chance to pop up and wreak some havoc (I mean, I can’t really blame it, ’cause who doesn’t want to wreak some havoc?), and that working on(/with?) that “stuff” is still NOT FREAKING EASY.
Happy Friday to you…and your darling, exquisite baby.
Havi – You ROCK.
I started a blog last week because you gave me a safe place to think about it and put it out there. I did it.
It is not what I want it to be in the long run – but I am going to treat it like paint color. If I don’t like it, I can always paint over and start over – doesn’t hurt anyone to change my mind.
Thanks for the momentum and looking forward to more at the Table.
Jules
Julie Malloys last blog post..I like to cook… just cook…
Oh, hugs to you. What a week!
I love the baby analogy. I am going to steal it and use it on my friends (esp. the ones with kids) when they don’t understand why I decline invitations saying “I can’t, I’m working on my new business” 😉 (and I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just think it’ll instantly help them “get” where I’m at)
Eileens last blog post..Just don’t do it.
What the hell, man? People are seriously posting just to complain? I don’t get that. I don’t read all of the comments above mine, so I’ve missed them.
For what it’s worth (and I know you’re not asking), I love your KT idea but need to finish the last coaching product I got involved with, which was/is Naomi’s Online Business School. But yeah, I know you weren’t sitting there waiting for my response on that one. Just sharing.
Johnny Truants last blog post..Unfortunately, pants
@Lori
Hey, are you peeking in my windows????
Your list sounds like mine…thought maybe I had an alter ego that escaped…lol
@Havi and her followers:
With all these comments…it is so comforting there are so many funny, lighthearted people trying to get up and go (and those who have made it)on their BIG things. There are times I feel like I’m the only one trying to do this stuff, cuz no one around me (physically) seems to “get it”.
Thanks to ALL of you!
Amy Mommaertss last blog post..Excited! Harvest From Labor Series Starts Today.
dear havi … one more of the fascinating bits is that on my days (daze) open to the universe i watch your bumpiness reflected back at my own discomfort/s … and the un-folding continues, a.k.a., 365 days of the hid-less chicken 🙂
huge hugs n’ thanks
— joyce
Havi,
just came over to comment on what Laurel already said – I dream of the day I could write as kind, respectful and compassionate posts as your self-proclaimed bitchy one yesterday.
And thank you for not going back to Israel and retiring from the internets. You give so much to so many people. [struggling to find words that say enough and are not cheesy, and failing.] Thank you.
Sari O.s last blog post..Expectations
Havi — Just let it roll off your back like Selma lets water roll off hers.
Gina’s bad stuff this week:
1. Back to work after 2 weeks of vaca. Yuck.
2. Woke up violently ill with stomach flu at 3 AM Weds morning. Subsequently ended up taking 1 1/2 days of sick time the first week of the new year, and lost 10 lbs. in 24 hours. I don’t recommend this approach to weight loss.
Gina’s good stuff this week:
1. My parents made a 100-mile drive Weds afternoon just to come help me during the worst part of the sickness. Arrived with Gatorade, made chicken broth, helped me stabilize my crashing body, and did assorted other tasks we’d all thought they’d left behind with my toddlerhood some 40 years ago. Now THAT is love.
Whoosh! So much hard stuff! So much great stuff!
xoxo
Sonia Simones last blog post..Do We Really Need Brass Balls?
Big, huge hug to you and all your stuff. And remember that although you are not all things to all people, you are Many Wonderful Things to Many of Us.
Diane Whiddon-Browns last blog post..Everything I Know About Writing
I can’t for the life of me figure out what anyone would have to complain about here. Sorry you had to deal with that Havi. you and selma rock.
Lisa Woods last blog post..Tips for Using Your Marketing Toolkit Wisely
I can’t believe people are being mean to you and making you cry! I’m sorry it’s been a rough week, and I hope next week is much easier for you. *hugs*
My week wasn’t the easiest, but there was plenty of good to be had….
The tough:
– finding out that being 5000 miles late on our latest oil change on our van has cost us an engine, to the tune of $4600, which we can’t easily afford
– my kids’ dad not doing his part to help them with a school project (due TODAY), leaving it all up to us, to finish in two days
– having to tell some customers that their videos won’t be ready until NEXT friday, instead of today
– my toddler falling behind on sleep, which = waking up constantly through the night, and waking up earlier in the morning–like 5 am early
The good:
– the mechanic found a re-manufactured engine, so it didn’t cost us the $6000 it could have
– the kids were GREAT about working on their projects, even though it meant NO PLAY TIME for TWO DAYS! They’re really proud of the results, and we’re really proud of them!
– the reason we couldn’t finish the videos today is that we got THREE TIMES as many orders as we anticipated!
– my toddler is FINALLY getting caught up on sleep, and she slept 9 hours straight last night, plus a 1.5 hour nap today!
– I’ve been planning my husband’s surprise 40th b-day party! I have two out-of-towners flying in for it, and he has NO CLUE! (I hope…. *fingers crossed*
– Havi and Selma’s Kitchen Table! I’m very excited about it, and once I figure out if we can swing it, after figuring for the van, I’ll (hopefully!) be in!
Carole Hayess last blog post..Job Hunting 101: Part Four–The Interview (Guest Post by Patrick Gary)
I’m almost brand new here, so I will just say that I am in love, love at first sight. Or first read…whatever. I SO admire your ability to put all of yourself “out there”. I need to go catch up on my reading, of your blog!
Hey Havi:
Hugs. . . hugs. . . and huge gratitude to you for your kitchen table wisdom.
This baby of yours was conceived with all the love, self acceptance and humor that you are uniquely capable of.
And you have shown us – your right people – that we too can give birth to our babies in the same gentle way.
What greater gift can there be than giving and receiving love?
You know exactly what you need right now and I hope you give yourself the space to just be – lean into the arms of those who really love you and all you stand for.
We’re there for you in the same sustaining way that you’ve been there for us.
We get it!
And as for the squeaky wheels you’re experiencing, well – they’re just someone else’s right people. God knows there’s room for all of us here – and they will find their way. It’s just not your problem.
You offer lots of options to stay connected. . . the rest of it is not up to you. It’s just all drama with probably some hearts needing love underneath that have gotten a bit twisted.
But again, that’s not your problem.
Let’s journey back. You’ve just birthed this huge kitchen table – my God, how amazing!! For me, personally, I’m relishing the wonderful opportunity that lies ahead for me to join you in the afterglow.
Be good to Havi–
Hey possum,
A couple of weeks ago, a friend at work came to my desk, having a panic attack. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend and her life was changing, transforming to be more what she wanted it to be. It was change – mostly good change – but she was having a panic attack. Change and transformation can do that.
Anyway, I grabbed the picnic blanket I always keep at work, and underneath my desk, I made her a little nest. Then we both sat in the nest, not talking, just breathing in the moment together.
So, I want to offer you a nest today. Softly woven, thatched with love, textured with life… and a knowing that everything’s going to be okay. You are doing thing from your heart and spirit… and when we do that, it always ALWAYS works out so beautifully.
Proud of you!
Big hugs,
Leonie
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Wow. I can’t beat Leonie’s nest! That sounds brilliant! But have some hugs from me anyway. I’m sorry you’ve had a hard week. I’m happy your brother and your gentleman friend are there to feed you pie (which is my equivalent term for foods) and make you laugh.
The good and the hard. Mostly good, actually. Back in the process with the writing, which I’d ignored since before Christmas. Two lovely new bits of web work, both very fun and exciting projects. Meeting the lovely Ms Louden in phone-space – what a lovely dynamic voice. Meeting the very interesting Jacke Schroeder, with completely unexpected consequences which are going to take me some time to get my head around. A week of new things. Exiting new things.
The hard… a tricky patch, tango wise. The endless life purpose questions. General uncertainty.
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Havi, you have gotten so much love from other people, I will just add my hugs here. I also highly recommend hot chocolate, it makes lots of hard feel softer!
You said you were going to share more of your personal stories with us this year, and here are you, with just the right material to help you fulfill your resolution. But, seriously, you have no idea how helpful and healing it is for me, a reader from a few months back, to have you share it with us. And how good it is for us that you allow us to send our love to you!
I am wishing you big servings of peace and joy!
Andrea
Havi,
Sending you extra hugs and love as you wind down this long week! So happy you got to talk with Naomi. I’ve been thrilled to see her on the blog again more frequently.
I had big excitement this week. I launched an article special on Twitter to get some new clients and it is going great so far. Increased my ongoing monthly income $500 bucks so far and its only been a few days.
Not huge by many standards, but very huge in this house!
Then tonight I thought I could do some techy yukky stuff on my blog and messed everything up!!
Isn’t that the way it goes? It will get better- but you already know that!
Hi to Selma!
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Havi,
My daughter did just have a baby on December 17th. This is my first grandchild (a girl). I could do nothing but wait for this baby for most of 9 months. Then I could do nothing but look at photos of her from Australia for a couple weeks (I haven’t held her yet). Now that she is 3 weeks old, I am just starting to be able to do anything but be involved with her birth. I totally understand what you mean about the baby. Good luck with your new venture, a swell idea. I couldn’t join in but I have made progress on my own thanks in part to the Naomi/Havi self-promo class. I appreciate your staying here in Fluent Self.
As for your detractors, you know how hot air balloons jettison sand bags to go higher? Sounds like a good idea to me.
Havi-
One of the things I’ve noticed is that when people take the time and energy to say totally random and really unhelpful things to us, it rarely has anything to do with us. Instead, it feels (to me anyway) like it has way more to do with them and their stuff.
Your awesomeness reminds them how out of touch with their own awesomeness they are. Rather than receive that in a way that could nurture their growth, they lash out and respond from their pain. They’re fighting themselves, even when it looks like they’re fighting you.
So, a weird, still-doesn’t-mean-it-doesn’t-suck-to-experience-it sort of way, the unhelpful ick that people have sent your way this week just affirms that you’ve stepped forward into another level of radical awesomeness, which seems to be something you do bigger and better than just about anyone else I know.
I don’t know whether any of the above is true for you, or whether it’s helpful in any way, but I hope so. If nothing else, here’s a mug of tea, some nice incense, a sweet candle and an internet hug.
Thanks for being who you are, doing what you do and helping so many of us in the process. You absolutely and totally rock.
Fabeku
You guys are all so wonderfully reassuring. I am in awe.
Also thanks to everyone who emailed, sent flowers, etc – just the sweetest thing ever.
This place never ceases to amaze me. THANK YOU!
I feel I have arrived a bit late, but wanted to offer a virtual cup of tea (Or whichever hot beverage you prefer, but for me, being British, this is the ultimate in reassuring ritual when feeling strung out – make a cup of tea, sit with friend, talk it out.)
The same week you were going through hellish things, I had a very different experience. I started a blog (that was a really big thing, and your blogging therapy helped so much). I also figured out the underlying reasons behind a terrible pattern that has been making me seriously ill for six weeks of every year, spoke calmly and gently to them and it went away and as a result I feel like I have come back to life. It’s like spring has come early.
I would dearly, dearly love to be at the table. Oh boy would I, but unless something amazing happens financially, I doubt I will. You see, some amazing people (yourself being one of them) have been steadily making me realise that I too can pursue my dreams, and those dreams need money from the tiny pot too. But I am certain you are creating the most amazing thing, and big up love and cheering from the sidelines from me to you and all your table guests.
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