Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
All I can say about this week is this:
Yeesh.
Though really?
That’s not so much an expression of disgruntlement as the sound my head makes as it whips around to see where the week went.
I would like to add:
How is it possibly October 29th? Seriously? Where did this sneaky little bastard of a month go?
The hard stuff
It all happened so fast that I’m not even sure what happened.
Remember on Sunday when I said my schedule for this week would make you cry?
Well, I didn’t cry. But the First Mate just kept spinning me around and sending me on my way to the next appointment.
It was a madhouse. But so much of a madhouse that everything happened kind of ridiculously efficiently, because it had to.
Anyway, I have a headache from the blur.
Way too much to do.
This is not good for me.
Is that conflict still unresolved?
Why yes, it is.
But at least that other huge thing got taken care of, right?
No. No. No. Still trying to fix that massive hole as well.
I can’t wait to find out what useful thing or brilliant business system is going to result from this spectacular example of ohmygod this is not working at all.
Disorderliness!
And not the good kind of shivanautical chaos but just confusion and not being able to find stuff.
The good stuff
The hidden surprises in the disorder.
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”
–A. A. Milne
Also, in the quotes that make me happy category, I re-stumbled on this letter that Hiro wrote me over a year ago:
Sweet pea, vacation is a Necessary Business Expense. Think of it as maintenance, like changing the oil in your car. The Creativity and Visionary Directors of The Fluent Self must commune with their muses, because that’s the bedrock of the business.
Somehow, despite all the chaos.
Stuff got done.
I taught my classes, wrote my writings, projectized on my projects, launched what needed launching, did magic with my clients, and it all happened.
And I even got a haircut. Go me.
Sparklepoints.
Yum.
Just when I thought my gentleman friend’s terrific sourdough bread (with the Hoppy House starter) could not get any better ….
He turned some kind of impossible baker’s corner, and it is now intense and drool-worthy and changing my life.
The whole house smells like love.
I found a pair of pants.
They fit.
This is a big deal.
NINE TO NOTHING!
As much as I make fun of the cough terribly named so-called World Series …
I love the Giants. I have been loving them for the past five years (with all the pain and torture that this love entails) and this has been incredibly exciting.
There is nothing I can say here to express my extreme joy and most of what I would say isn’t very nice anyway.
So I’ll just say nine to nothing nine to nothing nine to nothing. And yes, THIS:
“Side bet: if the Giants win, Texas has to legalize gay marriage.”
Posts I loved so much this week..
Amy (that’s @barefootphoenix) wrote this inspiring piece about why she loves Rally (Rally!).
I love everything that Maryann writes about (she’s @maryanndevine).
And oh boy! It’s blog twister! Kelly (@copylicious) is brilliant and insane and I love her. After you read her post, go play the game!
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Day 4 Syndrome
It’s like they’re everywhere. Except it’s actually just one guy.
And some of the presents that arrived this week.
Jana from Hamburg sent a bottle of Anti-Monster spray.
Vielen vielen Dank!
And J.J. sent a tail. Yes.
A tail! That you can wear. I’d put up a picture but I haven’t figured out how to photograph my ass.
And really, maybe not the most appropriate thing for the blog. Next time? Smoking hot pics unless I lose my phone again.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.
And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. Two spots for the weekend of Shiva Nata teacher training and general hilarity in February. Yes?
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Havi – I appreciate so much how you come back to these Friday Chicken’s over and over…because, as you say, tradition is important.
It’s important to me that you do it because I don’t hang out with you on your blog all the time, but because you do this regularly, I get to come back whenever I do and feel like I’m a part of things again.
I get to feel connected and feel something familiar with you here and I LOVE that. I get inspired and things inside me get re-awakened and get to shake themselves off like a wet dog or a yawning daisy in Alice’s wonderland. It feels soooo lovely inside when I’m ready to be with you again and ready to listen and receive, ya know?
Softness! There are places for your words and ideas to fit amongst the things within me. So I’m enjoying. And connecting. And loving. And feeling like a Magical Yogini in relation to my life and business – which are starting to blend together in a very beautiful, organic way and it makes me so satisfied and grateful.
Sometimes all I have to do is come to your blog and peek around a bit, feel the vibe and enjoy the colors and I feel calmer. I’m reminded that I can do this. I can be me and I can thrive with business and I can flow.
Your presence inspires me and it’s only possible because you keep showing up (which ranks right up there in degrees of awesomeness with finding pants that fit.)
Goddess Leonie has the same effect on me. I just have to *think* about her or visit her site and read a few things and cool amazing stuff gets tickled in me. Suddenly I’m able to appreciate things about me that I wasn’t seeing before.
So yes…you help me love me! Which is so super cool…because I’m getting really good at this loving me stuff and I like finding more way to love me. It feels so good!
Gushing like this about you and me feels good too…mmmm! You are loved. Happy Friday. xoxo
The hard: ohh, bunches of things. HEAPS.
Like the broken washer.
Or the two unexpected expenditures and the fallout from them.
Or the sick dog.
Or the darned barn door which is swinging around again.
Or the just feeling sad and tired.
The good:
I did two new things! One is a tiny little downloadable meditation for very little money. It’s my first audio thing.
And the second is my first free teleclass, which will be coming right up. I like doing things like that. November 10. yay.
In addition? Warm dog. Warm fires. A feeling of cozy. Much accomplished, including the audio for the Thing, which now just needs edits. (I know, just. Still. Allow me my fantasies.) Eating food that is better for me. Not messing up on Thursday. And writing that is coming easily today although it is clearly time for a break.
Bonus track: lovely conversations with @NaomiDunford and @MenWithPens and @MarkHeartofBiz on Twitter, all people I like very much. And the chance to share the Sillybandz idea with someone else who needed it.
Extra points: for the slow the hell down video by Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) which ministered to my spirit in a very needed way.
@havi: thank you for sometimes going like mad because it makes everything possible, and just as much thank you for stopping (like mad?) because that also makes everything you do possible.
EEK! Friday again AND another month is starting on Monday. What is with this time just zooming by?
The Hard:
– OMG I have LESS than 11 hours to pull together my presentation for tomorrow’s class.
– 2 students didn’t come in to work today – only one let me know they weren’t coming. Had to sacrifice my morning time to get here at 7am to open the center.
– OMG I only have 5 more weeks with my students in the lab and a TON of things left to do with them
– Haven’t started grading their exams either
– Behind on grading lab reports too. Maybe if I didn’t give so much homework………
– WAY too much still on the old to do list. This is getting OLD.
The Good:
+ My students who did come to work picking up the slack with terrific attitudes!
+ HUGE progress on my research statistics. I figured out how to do regression formulas through SPSS. SCORE!!!!
+ Great field trip with my lab students! They asked a TON of good questions!
+ Already prepped for Monday’s class. WooHoo!
+ Great meeting with the head of a new program at our institution. Opportunities for collaboration abound – all for the betterment of learning opportunities for my students.
+ Fun contest in our center this week – Ghost Hunt – one of the students hid little paper “Casper the Ghost” cutouts all over the place. The resident who found the most got Ghost Cookies! Great Fun!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
9-0! 9-0! 9-0!
The Hard:
– Once again, the yappy dogs. At least my cats are only loud to the poor downstairs neighbors, who have to hear them run around like a herd of tiny elephants, sigh.
– Not moving fast enough to get the money to sign up for The Great Ducking Out.
– Really, really needing new glasses.
– Lots of back/shoulder/neck acheyness. Also legs. Also meh.
– Not progressing as I want to on certain writing projects that are omgsoclose to done and yet, not done.
The Good:
+ Count Chocula! Frankenberry! BooBerry Crunch! I love Halloween.
+ I made a Cthulhu Coloring Book – with Bonus Zombies! And it’s sold pretty well so far, huzzah.
+ Slowly letting some of my worry go into curiosity instead, being curious where I could find new sources of income instead of worrying that I won’t manage it.
+ My week has been infused with creativity and it’s been really awesome, drawing and writing both.
+ NaNoWriMo starts Monday and I’m not totally unprepared!
+ Slowly developing an evening routine to bracket my morning routine.
+ I made meatloaf! There was no ketchup. It was awesome. Also, honeycake, which was underdone in the middle but still delicious.
+ Found a few sunny hours to go walking for errands and enjoyed the exercise.
+ Drinking delicious cold-weather drinks and cooking warm spiced foods for myself.
+ 9-0! I am deeply amused that Texas is just bending over for SF, and I don’t even watch baseball.
I’m right there with you. Where the heck is my October?! It was right here just a minute ago!
The Hard:
— The Thing! The scary Thing I’ve been putting off! It *really* needs to get done. So I’m going to try to get that done today. The scary Thing of Dooooom!
— Still jobless. Financial situation dire. Still looking & trying not to freak out, because that never helps.
The Good:
— Unemployment has pushed me to start taking baby steps towards biggification. This week I’ve opened an ArtFire shop (still planning to stay on Etsy too), started a new blog, applied to a craft show, and I’m working on getting ready to ask local shops about selling my handknits & possibly teaching classes. I also got a couple new things listed in my shop.
— I’m working on logistics & copywriting for my very first online class, which will be a big friendly cheering each other on thing for folks who need a little gentle accountability & encouragement to work through their to-do lists. I figured, I have lots of biggifying baby steps to get through this month & November is a busy month for a lot of people, so I could offer encouragement & playfulness in a way that will hopefully be helpful. So we’ll see how that goes. It’s also kind of terrifying, but I’m committed to making it work. So I guess by next week’s Chicken, I’ll either be celebrating my triumph or cowering under the bed. At this point, both seem equally likely.
Is it REALLY Oct 29?!!!! Yes. Sneaky, sneaky month.
Ouch. It’s been a month…
The Hard –
* The busy this month! it has been unspeakable!
* The income thing. I’m very concerned…
* Cutting my hair by 18 inches so I can fit it under a wig tomorrow. My choice, but oh the hard.
* Wanting to strangle the hairstylist who tells me that “it’s still long by anyone else’s standards!”
*No bellydance class this week – between sessions.
*Performance nerves about tomorrow.
The Good-
*New friend.
*Teaching possibilities.
*No bellydance class this week – between sessions! (yes, I know that falls in two categories!)
*It looks like we’ve finally figured out the EO’s health issues and it’s getting better (cross fingers!)
*Performance tomorrow.
*The more I learn about Mae West the more I wish I could have met her.
*The hair DOES fit under the wig now, with a bit of work.
The Hard:
Hmm, well, it may sound shallow but a lot of it revolves around tv. Lots of glitchiness or channels flat not coming in at all. After scheduling a cable tech to come out, I noticed the room I watch tv in is a bit like a room from Hoarders. I.e. cluttered enough to be embarrassed about even though 90-95% of the stuff isn’t mine.
A show I enjoy had such a disturbing cliffhanger end last night, I don’t even want to watch next week.
Also, though I’ve been telling my dentist for ages I really don’t think I grind my teeth at night, I woke up feeling like I’d been clenching my jaw. I blame the disturbing tv.
The Good:
Got so much done it felt like 2 weeks of stuff! Made my first calendars which I’m super excited about.
Rewatching and catching eps I’d missed of Samurai Jack, seriously great filmmaking and gorgeous animation.
The cable guy called ahead and arrived 10 minutes before the 2-hour appointment window. He rewired everything outside and added a signal booster which solved my digital issues but also made all the analog tvs better too.
Moved enough stacks from around the tv that the appearance of the rest of the room didn’t bother me.
Blogged 2 anecdotes this week in the vein of the writing I started the blog with. A mojo I’d thought I’d lost.
Mostly it’s the mojo that is good, both for writing and my photography Thing. Not sure it’s sustainable but it sure is nice while it’s here.
It’s astounding…Time is fleeting…
(It really is.)
Hard:
-Cramps. Pain. Ow!
-My dissertation adviser is very concerned about my slow progress. So am I.
-Monsters being scary.
Good:
+My dissertation adviser did say, “I remain impressed with your thinking and your potential.” Holding on to that!
+Many, many lovely music-making moments.
+Bitchy Boozy Coaching! (Thank you!)
+Got out to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show with a shadow cast — great, goofy fun.
+Dissolving procrastination, bit by bit, and celebrating along the way!
Looking forward to a holiday weekend with people I love, and sending loving wishes to all of you.
Wow, have missed a couple Chickens. I am happy to be able to come back here to get a handle on my weeks.
The Hard:
-Saying goodbye to coworkers. I was surprised to be genuinely sad at leaving a couple of coworkers who feel like friends.
-Hitting a deer in the dark on the way home from an otherwise lovely foliage drive. BF was driving and was shaken up — scary to see.
The Good:
+AHHHHhHhhhhhhhhh! I has a new job. And it truly is a breath of fresh air. Ahhh. Anal yet reasonable people just like me. It feels right.
+Having the chance to start over, to be the way I want to be with people. Open, friendly. Not guarded and closed like I was at last job.
+Started literacy volunteer work. It feels good.
+Feeling really in love.
+Jon Stewart’s making fun of NPR (due to Juan Williams’ firing). So good, as I love both!
Howdy, ya’ll.
The Hard
Finding out that all of my preparations to move from Oklahoma to Texas to be nearer my daughter have been in vain as her stepdad’s employer will probably be putting him in Virginia instead.
Putting together budgets for an arts organization I run. Large ones. That other people have to want to fund. I am not good at this yet.
Trying to gather enough info to decide whether to re-settle here in Tulsa where my network is insanely huge and productive and just visit VA (and my kid) more often, or rather to pull up completely and hit the road, leaving behind everything I’ve built over the last several years to live up the street from her.
The Good
Having a wonderful set of friends who love me and care and will be supportive of whatever I decide with the move.
Having written more in the last week than I thought I would be able to.
Finding out I still have what it takes to be funny. (I do stand up comedy sometimes. Had a fifteen minute slot handed to me out of the blue and made people laugh for most of it. Yay for the funny!)
Card games with my card gaming pals, which always cheers me up.
And of course reading all of the wonderful things here and elsewhere in the blogosphere which help me remember that I’m not the only pirate out there.
Joy and Peace in your weekend, all.
~j
Romilly — Me too! I recently cut 8 inches off my hair (couldn’t imagine 18!) to donate to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program, which makes wigs for women battling cancer. (More info here: http://tinyurl.com/28qre2r for anyone interested.) The stylist kept telling me that my hair is still sooo long, and salons & everyone else would consider it very long. Um, lady! You’re cutting off almost half my hair! Seriously. Glad I did it though. 🙂
Havi — I thought of something somewhat less sugary you could give your trick-or-treaters. Not sure if you’re still looking for suggestions, but if I were in your shoes, I think I’d go with this as a compromise: http://tinyurl.com/33pzgw4 They’re basically an organic version of peanut butter rice krispie treats. They’re still pretty sweet, but at least it’s not a straight up processed white sugar nightmare the way something like a Reese’s cup is.
Hi everyone. Am I crazy or was this the hardest month of the year?
The Hard
-I’ve seen relationships go kablooey. Our big ensemble performance group is no more, due to far too many conflicts. Because of that, we had to cancel our spot in the big performance we’ve worked on for the last three months.
-Lost two people at work. What has two thumbs, gets to pick up the slack, and is kind of pissed about it? This gal. What really makes me crazy is that a co-worker (who I actually got the job) requested the entire damn weekend off…and got it. I am not pleased.
-I got so flustered during my Economics mid-term, I accidentally ripped a page out of the textbook, due to the fury of my page turning. School has been HARD.
The Good
+Because the ensemble group is no more, my dance partner and I now have more time to work on our projects. This is swell.
+Despite the fact that my weekend is a lost cause, I should make some decent money. This means that I can get that much closer to adding to my tattoo collection and being able to save money for my dance convention in January.
+Mid-terms are over. I can now devote more time to my painting so I can have something to show my art professor. Plus I’m learning to be more willing to experiment with my art.
+NaNoWriMo is around the corner. After much internal debate, I’m going to go for it. I probably won’t make the goal, but it will still urge me to do some much needed writing, something that I’ve neglected for quite some time. I am excited.
It’s going to be November on Monday, and I am so incredibly not prepared to handle that. Eek. Also, finding pants that fit is a huge deal. Yay Havi! And for the week…
The hard:
-It’s hot (pushing 90). Why, why must it be hot? It is almost November for pity’s sake.
-I keep forgetting small fiddly things. Makes me feel thrown off.
-The comeback of the stepson of the third cousin of the goat of the tired, which makes me feel even more thrown off.
-I was looking forward to a tiny vacation, my only vacation planned for the next six months, and it got cancelled because someone scheduled a mandatory thing that I have no interest in being at but can’t skip. Wailing and gnashing of teeth.
-That, and discovering that the one truly awesome thing I’d discovered about my new place disappeared without warning, prompted a nice, sudden bout of still-not-home-enough flailing. And it’s three quarters through the term. All at the same time. There may have been some collapsing. Ugh!
The good:
-I got paid! Awesome.
-I bought a $1 Friday rose to celebrate. There is no downside to a rose for me. It probably won’t last very long but right now it is very beautiful.
-I’m having a picnic supper tonight that I think will be tasty. And indoors under the ceiling fan.
-Draw the Dog. It’s a website with dog cartoons that you can watch draw themselves. Given that we have as many “furry children” in my family as we do human beings, it was a day brightener. Some of those are really funny.
Hugs all around and hopes for a fabulous weekend!
Somewhat unrelated…but this week i finally realized that I’ve been trying to shorten “my path” by taking out all the stepping stones that say “relax” “have fun” “enjoy” “party” and “sleep”
It finally dawned on me that I wasn’t shortening my path, I was *changing* it, so that it no longer led where I wanted. So I’m working on putting all those stones back in place, thankyouverymuch. 🙂
The hard:
* As always, the heartache of going to ‘work’.
* Putting myself out there, and hearing nothing back.
* Spilling wine on my keyboard so that each key types 4 random letters, and the space bar now mutes the sound.
The good:
* Working on the numbers for my get-out-of-debt plan, and finding out I’m not as far off as I thought.
* Adding rest and fun into the to-do list.
* Getting invited out by someone who is a totally unexpected new friend.
* Resolving a stressful situation into a complete positive.
* All the journaling I’ve been doing!
It’s not yet 9 and I think I’m going to go to bed. *yawn* So much for everything I thought I would do tonight. *more yawns*
The hard:
– not enough time
– feeling I’m going to have to stop doing a few things to make room for other stuff
– another attack of the tired
– freaky hormones
– having to overhear the neighbours drunken arguments
– dying my hair purple and blue and not being very taken with the purple
The good:
– taking photos
– getting the application well on it’s way to completion
– going to an awesome comedy show and having quality friend time
– getting to like the hair colour more
– beautiful autumn days
– finishing of a fantastic novel (the crimson petal and the white)
– cuddly cat time
– looking forward to hallowe’en
– bought some fabulous clothes
– particularly delicious food
All in all, a pretty good week.
Crazy, crazy, chaos-filled October. I shall miss your colorful leaves and perfect weather for sitting out in the sun in a sweater, but wow am I not going to miss your overwhelm.
This week’s hard:
– Schedule Tetris was particularly challenging this week. Lots of little things on the move all over the face of the calendar. Things that should have taken an hour took three; others that should have taken four took two. Things got cancelled; other things were crammed in at the last minute. My scheduling fu was way off this week.
– The shoulder/neck freezeup is threatening to come back. The heating pad and the massager chair and yoga have helped keep it at bay, but it’s lurking, waiting for the most inconvenient moment to pounce. I can’t get in to my massage therapist for almost two weeks.
– Poor neglected bloglike thing. Poor neglected mailing list. Feeling the need to take care of these things but running into a creative wall with it and not a lot of time to simply sit and mull.
– Holy hell — holiday shows start NEXT WEEKEND and I am completely unprepared.
This week’s good:
– Family gathering last weekend was drama-free.
– Another interesting new editing project landed on my desk this week.
– Had a great final session of my beginners jewelry class last night and received lots of compliments on it. Got some great ideas for some new classes to teach, too.
Happy Friday, chickeneers!
Hurray – pants! That is awesome.
The hard…
– Oh the rain. And the cold. And the snow. It shouldn’t snow – it is still October for goodness sake!
– A couple of projects are just sitting and not making any progress. This is bad, bad, bad.
– Massive paper cut from evil election campaign literature in my mailbox that meant I bled all over my clothes. Stupid, stupid politics!
The good…
+ The rain finally stopped. The sun came out. And I bought some coats that fit me, so now when it starts up again I won’t freeze to death.
+ Did make progress on some projects. Even wrote two new blog posts (FINALLY).
+ Was on the radio today (yes more politics) and didn’t sound completely crazy or stupid (I think). Win!
+ Got the blood out of my clothes. Yay!
Have an awesome weekend!
@Claire oh yes Samurai Jack is beautifully done, so stylistic 🙂
Hard:
I was driving home from stitch and bitch on Wednesday when a deer hit my car. Between the door and the bumper, so he did hit me. I didn’t see him until his face was coming at me from the impact. (and there was drool, no one ever said there was drool). I pulled over to assess the damage because a: the car was still moving and b: it was pitch black out and the hood, etc seemed to still be in the same position it was before the deer hit me. Then I tried to open the door and couldn’t. I freaked out but managed to drive home. And I am not sure what happened to the deer, I’m assuming his neck was broken when he hit the windshield 🙁 I haven’t cried yet. That kind of worries me.
I’m trying to figure out how to say something to DH, or whether it is worth even trying.
DH’s interview on Wednesday was just the first one. We still have to wait until at least December for the second interview. And school ends the Wednesday before that Day Which Will Not Be Mentioned.
Too much to do and too little time management.
Good:
DH had an interview with the agency he most wants to work for. And he said it went well.
The car was still drivable and it was a relatively cheap repair that insurance covers.
My magical wonderful box of threads arrived from the Kreinik company and I am now officially a designer for them!!!!!!!!!!
I sold my piece in the Art Quilt Network “Fire and Ice” show. 😀
I still had some Amazon credit left from my parents’ generous anniversary gift, so I was able to get the new fairy tale compilation “My Mother She Killed Me My Father He Ate Me” Yay for new literature to read 🙂
Orange leaves. And yellow ones, and even the green ones.
Oh, my, I want some anti monster spray! If I spray it at my head, will the migraine monsters stop being mean to me?
Friday already, huh? Not sure how that happened, but ok.
The hard
– The exhaustion hit me big time this week. Sleeping 13 hours a night, 2 hour naps, and having to sit down fast before I fell over.
– Still lots to do. I realized that my brain thinks I have to work non-stop until ALL the work is done, even though, let’s face it, it will never be DONE. There will always be more.
– Had a migraine the first day of Fiber Expo. Managed to get through the day, mostly, but when I got home I realized that I had forgotten to ask all the credit card customers for their zip codes, which I needed in order to process their credit cards. Managed to get a hold of most of them, but still waiting to hear back from two of them…
The good
+ I did really well at Fiber Expo. I sold a lot of stuff, listened to lots of people gush about how gorgeous my stuff is (who doesn’t love that?), and got a possible wholesale customer. Yay!
+ Managed to get a lot of stuff up in my shop (trying not to be overwhelmed at how much I still have to photograph and list. I don’t have to do it all right now!).
+ Got another possible wholesale customer this afternoon. Yay!
I was so busy gushing about Havi that I didn’t put my week recap in:
The Suffering:
– Telling myself I should be being more productive than I am now that my trip to India turned into an un-trip.
– Telling myself that something I did wasn’t good enough, feeling regret, and worrying that someone was disliking me because of the thing I did that they asked me to do.
– Having so many amazing feel-good ideas and telling myself that I need to do something with them. Choke!
The Fun, The Easy, The Awesome:
– Realizing that I am so much more go with the flow than I ever have been in my life. My intentional practice of Surrender is working!
– My friend got a JUICER and is making fresh juice for himself 3x a week. It’s amazing.
– I got an amazing hug from a friend who had I hadn’t seen in like 2 weeks. Totally happy making.
– Yoga class with my friend at the most adorable studio. They use essential oils and we sing at the end of the class!
– Being reunited with my coconut cleaver and making an amazing raw Thai Coconut soup. (More to come tonight!)
– Bundling up in a puffy vest, a scarf, a North Face jacket and BOOTS for a walk outside with the crunch leaves and no tech in my pockets.
The Hard:
I can’t remember.
The Good:
Decided not to be an anti-social hermit and will go to a halloween party tomorrow. (As Justin Bieber.)
Potential new clients calling. Yay!
Awesome new assistant hired. The answer to prayers I didn’t even know I’d been praying.
So many new good books. And so much time to read them. And the best bed (mine!) to read them in.
Artichokes for dinner!
My new apartment that I am still madly in love with after 6 glorious weeks.
Home home home for a whole weekend after traveling the last 3, and the next one.
This week felt like one giant day made up of a bunch of little days that were just welded together at the last minute. I loved it while it lasted, but am ready for my juice and cookies and nap now.
@andi: Oh honey, hugs. So awful to hit anything. Thanking the powers seen and unseen that you’re alright, because deer accidents can be so so horrible.
Hard:
-traveling for work again. muddled head. berating myself for every minor faux pas again. bad food. bloated and gross. PMS.
-house trashed due to much traveling. don’t like.
-extra unexpected expenses mean no money for things other than food and bills for the next three months. it’s ok. it’s better than not enough money for food and bills. we’ll muddle through.
-not seeing husband-person for a week when, you know, i’d really like to hang out with him. sadface.
Good:
-i launched a secret blog for an audience of one+. the one is me, meaning that i am my audience. the + is anyone who accidentally stumbles by. it’s going to focus on my vpa about my body-me relationship, as well as be a landing place for all the grounding things i do with my hands–the crafty things. somehow those are connected. anyway, even if they aren’t, i don’t care and don’t have to explain.
-it is the weekend.
-it is almost november, and i like the increasing cold. layers. stocking caps. wool socks. scarves. xc skiing. bring it on.
It feels like it’s been forever since I last chickened… let’s get back to it!
Oh, what a week that was!
The hard:
– the exhaustion, and the realisation that I might be experiencing a CFS relapse
– the long traveling day to come back home
The good:
– spending the week in Toronto!
– my Shiva Nata class in Toronto: making it happen, learning a lot from every aspects of the experience, getting to meet Lynn, having quite a few people telling me they couldn’t come this time but would love to attend next time I teach there, and more!
– this is also related to the class, but it’s worth its own item: teaching Shiva Nata to an Indian dancer and seeing her being completely excited about the dance (!!!)
– receiving a personalised chicken from a dear soul friend, a chicken filled with fabulous news
– seeing wonderful friends we already had in Toronto and making new, equally wonderful, ones
– seeing my gentleman friend be part of the most amazing and stimulating storytelling festival ever
– experiencing strong positive emotions that filled my heart and churned my guts quite a few times during the week
Pants that fit are so incredibly important. I join you in celebrating your new pants!!
OMG HAHAHA. Sorry for the loud. The funniest thing ever: “Side bet: If the Giants win; Texas has to legalize gay marriage.” From Deep in the Heart…
the hard:
+ I will have to get a job at some point (I got laid off a year ago). All I’ve ever done is sitting-at-a-computer-all-day jobs, but I’m not sure that’s still an option. I have pain in my hands and wrists when I type, so now I use dictation software. I have no idea if that’s compatible with a job.
+ I was just starting to enjoy being home all day. (Before now, I was depressed from the social isolation and boredom and stressing over money.)
the good:
+ I’m making lots of progress with my monsters!
+ I think I’ve read about 100 books since I rediscovered our local library over the summer.
+ Loving the fall foliage! Have taken lots of pictures.
+ Will be meeting Internet friends for the first time in DC tomorrow.
+ Play has helped me unlock creative blocks. I’m not thinking about the results and just enjoying the process.
PANTS!
when someone finds october, please send it back to me. please.
the evil:
-work meetings where i feel everyone is speaking another language.
-work meetings where i have the most experience in the room and everyone is actively not listening to me – the most experienced person in the room.
-ego, ego, ego: couldn’t let it go.
-report cards with letter grades for 8 year olds.
–
the genius:
-750 words 3 days this week. i feel better already.
-yoga classes: as a student and a teacher
So… The Hard.
Ahem.
1. 9-0 – nuff said, from this corner of Texas! Though that sidebet? Yeah. I like that.
2. When I started to Chicken earlier? My keyboard freaked out. Apparently I spilled Diet Coke on it and didn’t notice. So I’m finally chickening, but on a borrowed, icky keyboard. Definitely hard.
3. The anxiety/overwhelm thing is starting to become habitual. Bah. Humbug. I did talk to the monsters about it, and they revealed a strange thing that they’re actually afraid of, and I’m not sure what to do with that yet.
But! The Good.
1. The Rangers ARE in the World Series! YAY. It’s fun to be excited by it, and the spouse is actually watching, which is fun too.
2. My very first Circus consulting call. And she hunted me down to book it! And it was FUN.
3. I’m networking. And not wanting to die. This is very good. And people rock 🙂
4. Ideas. Awesome ideas! And… and MORE awesome ideas.
I’m too sleepy to make anymore sense of this, so – CLUCKITY CLUCK!
Joining the chorus of “Yay, pants that fit!”
(Come to think of it, that’s going into one of my VPAs. Because, geez. *glares at button threatening to escape my only sorta-fitting pair of jeans*)
Hard:
* slipped on a step Tuesday, landed on tailbone HARD
* being a wuss about icing tailbone and other parts that hurt. I’m a lizard, I don’t like subjecting myself to cold.
* the miserable kind of insomnia (as opposed to my usual gleefully manic variety) where I really, really want to sleep but my body’s too out of sync to let go of consciousness
Good:
* finally caught “Ellingtown” (local puppet show about jazz). Moshing bunny rabbits (to the tune of “Cottontail,” natch) automatically make life better.
* seeing “Swan Lake,” too!
* the swings and fountains in Centennial Park
* radishes and blue cheese
* Christmas cactus on the verge of blooming
Wishing everyone a happy close to October and cheerful start to November.
Some Hard:
-Abandoned my writing schedule when mom fell and haven’t resumed a comfortable pace.
-Disappointment about Bolivia, but also peace.
So much Good:
+Mom is recovering well (Thank you, Krishna.).
+They liked my proposal for a public speaking class at the high school and *might* hire me to teach next year. Just the *might* is a thrill. Visions of Dead Poets’Society. Swooning a little.
+Free samples of organic goo from the health food store.
+People I admire saying very kind things about my blog. (Thanks, @rrreba, @alightheart and @yisforyogini. Humbled.)
+Nori rolls stuffed with mildly spiced, french-cut green beans(!), courtesy of my beloved, who also happens to be good-looking AND a saint. How lucky can a girl get?
+Inspiration from every corner.
Sending love to you, Havi, and to all assembled. xo
Hi allll,
Easier to start from hard to good for me!
The hard
In such a mood by the time I get home from work. Feeling like I can’t contain my feelings, behaving like a total arse with my partner and not really knowing what exactly is triggering me.
Things at work though are very different – so much angst there has vanished but I am aware of needing-to-be-liked. That’s okay but I’d like to access more love, self love, universal love to help me with that one targetting this specific theme.
the fear place has me being more political and yucky than I ever thought I would be capable of. Ugly but normal I suspect.
Some lingering fed up with not being able to look at SEO stuff. Wishing I could make my blog more visible but by MAGIC. I guess it’s all back to a yearning to be out of the cubicle life now because i itch for more. So yup pockets of impatience, though considerably less overwhelming.
The good
DAily Guided meditation via Goddess Leonie, fleeting use of owl eyes via Larisa and some bowly deeliciousness via Fabeku’s cd’s…well it all seems to be working!
In spite of the MAD mood swings come evening I feel these waves of love and joy throughout the course of my day. I don’t even know what all this means yet. hope, possibilities, expansion.
What it feels like to feel loved and loveable? What it feels like to feel there is space for all of me?
this is huge. So who knows what the future holds if I ancient hurts, other people’s stuff can be given back to ze universe baby. Who knows?
being in joy without having to worry so much about having/not having a biz, or a clear plan. just totally loving it.
when the joy feelings are there you could probably say anything to me and i would grin. which is totally friggin weird and Not at all like me. or rather the Me Ive been.
hope hope hope.
thank ze gods. and havi and selma and you guys.
ohhhhh.
x
Oof. It’s been two weeks since I’ve checked in.
There was my diving course and work and sleep. Oh, and Hurricane Richard.
The Good:
I really enjoyed diving. Once I stopped panicking from the concept of breathing under water.
The hurricane stayed far enough off the coast of Utila that it really only felt like a bad storm, not terrifying or anything.
The Hard:
Two day delay in the diving course because of Richard.
Way more time spent on Utila than I intended.
The under water breathing panic.
Two full days of travel. Too much. Ick.
The Hard:
– A sneaky Day 4 trying to show up on Day 2.
– Delayed response on a project from a customer who’s a relative.
The Good:
+ First use of Metaphor Mouse!!! The new Metaphor is helping, a lot!
+ Going to meet for lunch tomorrow a friend whom I haven’t seen for about four years. Yay!
Havi (and everyone else who can go), enjoy your week in Asheville!
I will chicken back in next Friday, missed this one.
But oh, there must be an invasion of monsters in Germany because I found the same spray that Jana sent from Hamburg in Berlin recently and actually bought it for you but now – hope you don’t mind – I won’t post it. I will keep the bottle and dedicate it to all our monsters.