In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The hard stuff
Stupid being-allergic-to-vacation. So unfair.
I tried a mini-mini vacation to make up for the last one. Nice try. The hotel had a fire drill.
Then they were tearing up the floor of the room down the hall and I couldn’t write, which was the whole point of disappearing. Argh.
And then I have to grumble about being invisible.
Admittedly I like my privacy more than most people, but it was like nobody could see me this week. And not in the good, invisibility cloak way.
People kept bumping into me, tripping over me, not hearing questions. Really bizarre. And on repeat.
Lots and lots of phone calls.
You know how much I dread phone calls, right?
I want seventeen billion sparklepoints for all the phone calls I made. And yes, using secret code words.
So much to do!
Completely overwhelming.
Too many projects. Too many things up in the air. Too many decisions.
Lots to write about and not in the mood.
Pesach is coming and I’m not ready.
Not even slightly ready.
There’s only one place in Portland that even has any variety of legit food, and it’s way, way on the other end of town, and we got ridiculously lost, as we do every single year (tradition!).
Plus we’re rallying the Rally on Monday, so I don’t even know when the crazed spring cleaning part of getting ready for the holiday is going to happen.
And no farfel. Again! Whole wheat farfel only. Seriously. That is so very wrong.
Panic and trauma.
Lots of HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) moments this week. Mixed with some PTSD from back when everything was exploding.
First I freaked out on a bus.
Not because I thought it was going to blow up, though I do think that every time I’m on a bus, because spending a third of my life in Israel trained me in ways that run too deep. There was just way too much crazy on that bus, and I couldn’t deal with not knowing if things were safe or not.
And then an actual exploding sound while I was recording some audio left me panicking and in tears. Life. Yes. Back to the Emergency Calm recordings, the existence of which I am always relieved to remember.
Well done, me-from-then.
Every single part of my body is sore right now.
But that’s really both hard and good. We danced the hell out of this week, didn’t we?
The good stuff
Stomp bounce whee!
I think had more aerobic activity this week than in the past six years.
And it was crazy fun.
Spring: it has so totally completely sprung.
Ohmylord it is so gorgeous. Outrageously so.
The entire city is exploding in color, and every tree and flowering bush in the area is all, look at meeeeee!
I love them all.
Magnolia, dogwoods, cherry blossoms.
It’s so fragrant that you almost pass out from joy every time you walk under a tree, and then you have to stop and commune with it, and you look like a weirdo but everyone else is doing the same thing because it is a glorrrrrrrrious day.
The sun is happy. Everyone is happy. The garden is happy. Spring!
Massive progress on things that hadn’t been progressing.
A ridiculous amount of work got done this week on a number of stalled projects.
The Stone Skipping cards are done.
The Shiva Nata iPhone app is so much closer to done, and it is seriously great. I am in awe.
Progress on the Playground website. And we launched the fabulous new forum at the Shivanautica Secret Lab. Yay Shivanauts!
These are all projects that had been somewhat stalled (not the fault of anyone or anything, just delayed by technical stuff or time issues). It feels so good to have had a week where things moved forward.
I can’t even tell you how much I needed this. It was a ton of work, and a huge relief to have it done. Loooooong exhale.
Creative writing.
My lovely Tea House session with Dave where we did all that noticing.
A highlight of my week, for sure.
Discovered a delightful place to have dinner.
Actually I’d already known about this place, but didn’t know how much I would love it. Love!
My beloved skaters finally won a bout. And there was much rejoicing.
So you know Selma and I sponsor a local roller derby team, right? Well, our Guns N Rollers have been having a super tough season, for a number of very interesting/complicated reasons.
And they had a win! Not in the league. With a thrown-together mix of skaters from Washington, calling themselves Overbeaters Anonymous.
But a legitimate win. And enormous improvement on so many levels. So exciting! Can’t wait to have the team come to the Playground so I can put them through some bad-ass shivanautical extreme coordination training.
Rally!
Gearing up for the Rally (Rally!) and excited to hang out with everyone and projectize up a storm.
I could use some epiphanies right now, so the timing for this is genius.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band is brought to you by @TheVDI.
I’m not sure but I think they’re kind of loud.
Welcome, Fake Band Of The Week. I’m happy to give the floor to….
Spooky Sneezers
Catch their show this weekend if you get a chance. Did you know… it’s actually just one guy.
And some of the lovely things I read this week.
This wonderful piece from Briana called I want to know everything. It’s beautiful.
On opening night jitters. This is really good. Not just for derby girls.
And I can’t even tell you how much I love this guest post from Elizabeth the Bee on 101 ways to do Shiva Nata. Oh, the ways! Brilliant.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
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Oh, the flowering trees! We have them here, too, but except right in DC not in the delirious profusion you describe.
The hard this week was having my husband go back to work after two weeks of vacation. I love it when he’s around. And while I am accustomed to days by myself (need days by myself), there was a bit of lonesome mixed in.
Also hard was that I’ve been ill, and one of my dogs has been ill, and we still don’t quite have our strength back. Trimming the old, dead fountain grass in my garden, putting it in a basket and taking it to the place where I’m piling garden bits, made me very tired, and that made me feel old, and not in a lovely wise-woman way.
BUT. Most of the work-work I attempted this week accomplished itself with ease. I like ease! And the art-work is so much fun. Giving myself permission to transition to being an artist has changed everything. I even started that new art blog we talked about: http://www.lisafirke.com
On balance, a very good week. Very good indeed. Thanks, as ever, for creating this place to take a moment and chicken. xo
a sleepy checkin.
The Hard:
The little raggamuffins that warn me of Danger are starting to stir and wake up and look at me pleadingly wondering about taxes and bikini roto and deserving and other things that apparently need to be worried about. I’m trying to hush them, let them know it will be ok, and they can go back to sleep, but they don’t quite believe me.
The Good:
So much help in the office this week.
Clients are still coming in.
Yoga this morning!
Woke up super early so now all the laundry and dishes are done.
Thinking about a nap later.
It’s a rainy day here, good for contemplation and Chicken-Nation.
Hard:
–The dissertation proposal isn’t done yet. I wanted it done Wednesday. I want it done now. Drat.
–It seems that we won’t be going to DC to see the cherry blossoms this weekend after all. Too much else going on. Double drat.
–Is it National Floor-Tearing Week, and if so, why was I not informed? At the job site where I spend three days of every working week, they are removing floor tiles and brass studs and prepping the sub-floor and spreading out sticky paste and re-tiling — in the hallway where my office and session room and the break room and the bathroom are located. This seems to require all sorts of loud equipment, and has an aftermath of dust and strange smells. Ow.
Good:
–I wasn’t at said job site on the day they were using the jackhammer!
–I have been working on the proposal every day this week. I’m not panicking (much) or avoiding (at all!) and this is a Very Good Thing.
–I’ve been singing a lot, and sort of noodling, playing with slivers of song ideas.
–My current journal has a lovely pink cover.
–I’m getting better at letting cranky people be cranky and have their stuff, while I take care of myself and my own stuff.
I’m ready for a glorrrrrious weekend. Bring it on!
Spooky Sneezers! Love them.
The hard:
-Jury duty. It’s hard, emotionally, even though I’m much better at dealing with it this week than last.
-Fear of writing. General lack of confidence in the things I make and do.
-Interpersonal hardness.
-The tired. Want a vacation. Don’t see one on the horizon.
The good:
-One good thing about jury duty is that it’s allowed me to get about an hour of sleep more than usual each night.
-Writing getting done, thanks to the genius of Dave’s noticing game and the beautifully supportive space of Amna’s living room.
-Today is the last day of jury duty! Holy cow!
-I heart Twitter friends.
A very happy, spring-ey weekend to everybody.
Hard:
-The day job concentration thing has not been so great. I’m bothered that projects aren’t done, but more bothered that I’ve been able to see patterns of avoidance and distraction without being able to change them. Hmm.
-Conflicts between housemates that affects and stresses me even when I’m not involved directly.
Good:
-Even with the bumps and the tension, the house seems to be on track for Pesach. If there’s one thing our sometimes-dysfunctional hippie Jewish mini-co-op can do, it’s organizing and dividing holiday-related tasks so that we each do a part that’s less overwhelming for us, so it gets done and we don’t want to murder each other. Hopefully. Our spreadsheet is all filled out. We’ve done this very badly and very well in the past, and I think we all want it to go well this time and know how to get there.
-Jewelry making is going smoothly. And I have some new supplies, which is exciting and helpful (you mean I can just make things without stressing over how much metal I have left? Whoa!) Now if only the reporter-monster who reallyreally wants to write a sensational story in my brain about how I can only succeed at making things when failing at the day job (and vice versa) would stop trying to get an interview. “No comment!”
-It’s not totally warm over here yet, but yes, spring. And my bicycle! (Which I got tuned up a couple of weeks ago. And ordered a helmet, which I just got. Now I can bike in lovely weather with fewer bits of conflictedness. Thanks, past me!)
Oh Havi I’m so sorry for your panic attack!! Those are just horrible. Being on a bus for one would be scary. Yay you for remembering the calming techniques!
Oh chicken, my chicken!
The Hard:
– Monday’s random attack of exhaustion and pain. WHY??!
– No will power to clean this mess of a place.
– Lady parts check-up. Which was fine, but I had one stressful one like 6 years ago (featuring allegic reactions, unnecessary ultrasounds, and at the end someone said “you’re fine” and never explained what happened), so now I dread them.
– No progress on anything for my biz.
The Good:
– Green smoohthies! And the associated healing faster, waking up better, concentrating more, clear skin, etc.
– Encouraging moments at work – which are few, so I treasure them.
– A good friend found another job. And encouraged me to look.
– The network was down at work last night and I was ‘forced’ to go home early. (Of course, today is going to be REALLY LONG – but oh well.)
– I COOKED! last weekend, I cooked a lot. A major accomplishment for me!
Can’t wait for next weeks Rally!!! So excited to get to go back. 🙂
Too tired to be witty, but hugs for the hard and celebrations for the good. 🙂
Hard:
Missing my friend at random moments. Knowing that contacting him would hurt progress that has been happening in my relationship. Choosing moment by moment.
Monies panics. Not delivering cookies on Tuesday due to a kitchen disaster. Delivering late today due to birthday outing yesterday. Running out of muffin liners so delivery will be short again (until tomorrow morning).
Strange car sounds. Again.
Good:
Major progress in my relationship thanks to NVC and practice and metaphor mouse.
Time to actually work on the relationship (ie staying up til 2-3am several nights in a row) because the day job can happen in jammies on the sofa or in jammies in the studio.
The sun came out for my birthday yesterday! And there were violets! And whitefish salad and bagels and hamentashen! A wonderful trip to the Conservatory, where we watched a glass blowing demo, and then watched them release more butterflies into the butterfly exhibit. And new journals at Blick afterward. Best birthday ever!
Owls. Lots of owls. And a few octopuses. And a snail. IOW getting to play in the studio and make things for the upcoming Odd Mall show in May.
You guys. Havi, Selma, the blog, and all the wonderful commenter mice and beloved lurkers. This community has helped me so much. Thank you.
Happy weekend, y’all!
Totally with you on the phone calls, especially for business stuff. I’d so much rather have everything in writing in an e-mail. Makes it a lot easier to remember who agreed to what when something goes awry.
This week’s hard:
– I’ve seen the insides of way too many doctor’s offices and clinics and labs this week. Just routine stuff, but it still toys with my anxiety levels. At least I got all but one thing out of the way all in the same week, so it’s mostly over with for a while. I hope.
– Low motivation. Hard to get out of bed.
– Looking ahead to a couple of weeks of intense workload. Nothing I haven’t handled before, but it’s always like looking over the edge of the high dive when you’re six years old.
This week’s good:
– We finally searched deep into our souls and realized we have no desire to use our precious time to clean house and thus hired a cleaning service. They start today. I am giddy.
– The $ I spent on the One-to-One service when I bought my new MacBook has already paid for itself. Great training session on Aperture yesterday got me straightened out and on the path to photo productivity.
– Despite low motivation levels, I’ve managed to stay on top of all my projects and even get ahead on a few. That is really going to help over the next couple of weeks.
– There’s a real reason for my wanting to hibernate. Adjustments to a couple of my medications should have me fixed up in a couple of weeks.
Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
Okay, I desperately want to chicken. For the weekend to start. But I have about twelve zillion hours before this day ends and I just want to say it’s a whole lot of hard. It started with a flat tire on the freezing highway and won’t end until midnight when I’m done chaperoning the student dance (yup) and by god, somewhere in the middle I believe it will contain a very mediocre lunch and far too much time standing around and a lot of killing time downtown.
Chicken, help me put a little bit more GOOD into all this HARD: good like tiny pampering on my way to the chaperone gig. Good like time in Powell’s. Good like finding food I like instead of being chained to free food I don’t get to choose.
Okay, here’s the chicken which seems rather minor when I think about the rest of today…
Other hard stuff
The tiredness. Not letting myself follow my sleepy instincts and staying up too late.
Not letting myself follow my hungry instincts and feeling unhappy at what I ate.
The stucky stickiness that is oozing all over everything (see blog).
Good stuff
Havi, you are so so so very right about Spring. I want to take lots of time this weekend to notice it and notice it and sniff it and notice it again.
Getting an apology.
Not waiting for the apology to feel better.
Going back to cycling class.
Lots of fun with belly dance.
Chicken! CHICKEN!
@Lisa – I adore the phrase “delirious profusion”. That is just exactly what it feels like. Yay for your site! Kisses.
@Kat – ahhh if it’s National Floor Tearing Week, then everything in my life is starting to make more sense. I’m going to start blaming everything on that, like mercury in retrograde. Everything sucks? Must be National Floor Tearing Week again…. 🙂
@Kyeli – so glad you’re in Amna’s writing group. She’s amazing, really and truly.
@Jesse – magic-wand-ing some good into your day. And I’ll actually be near powell’s at some point today so maybe we’ll be like two ships passing in the night except not at night and not ships. I will wave in the direction of powell’s at any rate.
Hugs to all the chickeneers!
Pheuph…I am just about ready to crumple into a ball after today, but, here goes:
The hard:
– getting messed about yet again by the tattooist – just ridiculous and I think I’m probably going to end up having to cancel everything as she’s now moved to north London and maybe lose my deposit. Brining up everything about people being unreliable as well as being soooo frustrating.
– hormones
– sinusey weirdness
– time and not having enough of it by half
– public transport and mobile phone woes combining on Saturday
The good:
– Work has actually been ok this week
– I shot with a model. Woot!
– Getting shots back from a photoshoot I did last week as a model and them being…incredible. And beautiful. A weird feeling of having made art.
– ballet!
– yoga
– doing shiva nata again
-possibilities taking shape
…and have great weekends everyone.
Hey all!
The Hard:
-Having to get up super early for work training all week. I wouldn’t mind the getting up early for the day; just would prefer not to have to rush into work.
-Fighting with the “you don’t know enough” monster and the “you’re going to embarass yourself with your stupidity” monster. GARAHFHFHFHGrrrr
-Confusing weather. Spring’s here. Wait, it’s not.
-Weird vibe in the area due to potential gov’t shutdown. Lots of uncertainty and fear.
-Slightly reinjured chronic foot condition, so battling pain and stiffness all week.
-Not having time to process things.
The Good:
+Giving myself a pep talk when the monsters surfaced. As I write this, they’re creeping back in due to new developments, but I’ll give myself another pep talk (oddly enough, the long commute gives me the chance to say kind things out loud to myself in the car).
+Making great progress teaching someone English.
+Looking forward to doing some processing this weekend.
+Community garden is underway! And the tulips and daffodils are doing their thing.
I’ve never done this before and I feel like I should write a list before posting it, but I’d rather just DO THE THING, so here goes:
The hard:
-my seester’s house’s dog had to be put to sleep.
-discovering my cat will need thyroid meds forever
-extreme procrastination in a passive-ish way & I feel like I accomplished nothing this week – although a lot of that was actually reading blog posts that I think will be extremely helpful, so I’m trying not to beat myself up too much
-The monster-who-fears-rejection *hasn’t*, in fact, magically gone poof just because I did something brave extremely successfully last week.
-still procrastinating. while trying to absorb the Procrastination Station. But I don’t like it that my house hasn’t magically gotten clean and still looks like an episode of Hoarders.
The good:
+Back to *running* after hibernating for the winter
+minimum-money-needed-to-make-this-month is shaping up
+a person I was so scared of talking about FEELINGS with that I had to write a list to sort them out coherently told me that he loved that I had written a list for him… even though it was a list that involved me saying how hurt I felt… I told someone that I felt hurt and for the first time literally EVER in my life, I did not cry when I did it. total win and I’m 99.9% sure it’s because I’ve been telling myself that I have the right to feel anything I feel.
+reading through NVC book & totally digging it. 🙂
+yes, my cat needs thyroid meds, but that’s all it was, and I can handle that.
chicken! i’m doing 2 weeks, just because i can…
The Hard:
– mom’s diagnosis with not one, but 3 brain tumors.
– trying not to scream and shake my fist at the sky after hearing said diagnosis. i’m not brave.
– mom’s surgery – it was long long long and then when we got to see her she was really whacked-out and scared. my heart hurts to see her so scared.
– the tired and the overwhelm
– the everyone wanting information from me and calling and writing and demanding that i regurgitate the whole ordeal when all i wanted to do was try to hang on to my sanity.
– dealing with my son’s father/ex-ex-husband – he tries to insert himself into my family “stuff” in an offensive way
– my son’s sadness/scaredness
– feeling like i suck because i took time away from the hospital
– the cloud of “yay, she is recovering from brain surgery…oh, then she has to have radiation and then more chemotherapy and then she is going to die”
– so much tired and scared and sad
The Good:
– my sister is always here when we need her, even tho she lives in Tampa, FLA
– my brother seems to have actually figured out that we don’t have a lot of time left with mom
– so much love and support from friends who i have totally neglected for the past few years….
– i didn’t wait until i totally fell apart to take time for myself
– the elephant whose ass was in between me and writing moved!
– i totally have angels
– Jin Shin! it is good good stuff and totally contributing to mom’s rapid improvement
– singing bowls! i love them. i want one.
– binaural beats = groovy meditation time
– nothing fell apart and no one died because i wasn’t at the hospital for 2 days + no one tried to guilt me (unusual, but yay!)
– connecting with Sue T. and Jillian this week was just yummy and sweet and nourishing
thankyouthankyouthankyou to Havi and Selma for creating this safe, safe place. thank you to other commenter mice for sharing secret stuff.
xo
kim
The hard:
so much hard this week. Doggie going to ER. Waiting 24 hours to see if she would be okay. Mother-in-law going to ER, waiting days to see if she would be okay. General exhaustion from pregnancy. Just trying to survive work week with some semblance of calm and trust.
The good:
Doggie has made full recovery.
Mother-in-law’s surgery was successful.
Lovely lunch this afternoon.
Yummy smelling soap and moisturizer.
Checking some things off my to-do list that have been hanging around for far too long–like months.
Screwing up the courage to let go of something that was past due for letting go.
The love love love for me and this baby I’m expecting at a baby shower.
Brunch at my favorite French restaurant in the world.
Maternity clothes lent by my sister-in-law.
Sleeping through the night, five nights in a row.
Thanks for the reminder that even in a crazy week like this, the good still outweighs the hard.
Oh look Friday and I get to chicken TODAY!
The hard:
THREE clients with only 10 minutes between and rush and run and then having to cook lunch away from home to avoid the people cleaning the kitchen (thank you people who clean the kitchen!)
Tempers high and tight. Must be close to the Great Transition (of doom)
Not having the information I needed when I needed it.
Worrying a lot about A Money Thing.
The good:
I did the three clients and lived and could even walk afterwards! Yay, the model I’ve been planning on using WILL WORK!
Good company, good dinner, good help with my Thing Page (currently pre-revision here: http://leelalifecoaching.com/blog/2011/03/kissing-at-halftime/) from someone who knows whereof she speaks
Putting all my years of working and living under the gun to good use making the morning work without the information I needed.
Having the Money Thing produce a perfectly good ending.
And the Conference of Triumph! Brilliant in so many ways.
And the office magic. It is happening.
and tomorrow is Saturday
and eight sleeps until I’m home.
shabbat shalom indeed
Friday! Still. That’s good.
Hard:
Nightmare about not finishing my sculpture due to lack of ideas and lack of time
Insomnia due to thinking up good ideas
Money panic
Post birthday schlump
Good:
Ideas I thought up when I was supposed to be sleeping
Slept in today, way in
Panic was brief due to amazing power of “even though” statements and just feeling the damn feelings. I never think that’s going to work, but I’m starting to believe it.
Oh this week has been full of hard. So I guess that’s where I start…
The Hard:
– OW giant shoe of doom. Really, it felt like all the good in my life got locked out in the cold and then I sat looking at it through the window entirely forgetting how to unlock a door.
– Stress everywhere. About everything. With everyone. Not fun.
– Giving a stupid presentation about stupid things which would have been brilliant but got derailed by the giant shoe. It’s been forever since I’ve been hit by a shoe that hard or given a presentation that bad.
The Good:
– I never have to give that presentation again in my life. It’s over!
– The Shiva Nata forums are blowing my mind. So many bright people talking shop about things I love.
– My friend got into her publishing program. And she’s brilliant and deserved it and is very happy.
– There is lots to be learned from the rest of it. Not really good, but not totally sucky.
Alright, first official Chickening 🙂
The Hard
*Follow-up appointment with ob/gyn post miscarriage – genetics normal, we had a baby boy
*Hubby totally spaced on appointment and forgot to come- hard for both of us
*Feeling shaky after sending my blog post out into the world
*Conflict w/hubby
*Uncertainty re: return of security deposit
The Good
*more Dance of Shiva this week
*lovely comments/tweets/emails re: my blog post
*really good conversation w/hubby
*mindful eating
*security deposit finally in the mail to me – yayy!
*finally sending my blog post out into the world
The Hard:
-Found out that I can’t get Financial Aid or a bank loan to pay for my Study Abroad. Lots of anxiety about that. Had a (possibly Shiva Nata-triggered) idea, but it’s not what I’d prefer to happen, so I’m exhausting other options first.
-Soreness, stiffness, and intestinal discomfort. Not as bad as it’s been before, but still at not-some levels.
-Plans for connecting with friends haven’t worked out this week. B was going to come over to built blanket forts and drink wine, but she got the stomach bug. So, Friday night alone. No energy to construct fort alone, but I do still have the wine. And cheese. And crackers.
-Some tension in my relationship. Never fun.
-Icky feelings about stuff that happened in the past, which always come up in the spring. Anger. Sorrow. Depression. Paralysis. Ugh.
-The US Government is slated to shut down. This means not paying military, teachers, people who work for national parks and other public works, ect. I am upset that these people will be forced to work without pay. I’m also worried that this might affect my Unemployment payments.
The Good:
-Living situation for summer and fall is taken care of. I’m going to be living with my African Dance teacher! Eeeee! It makes me excited and a bit nervous at the same time.
-Warm spring weather, except for when the wind picks up and makes it cold. Or when there’s a totally random snow/hail storm at 4 in the afternoon. Got caught in that with no jacket, no umbrella, just my binder to put over my head. Love it.
-Drinking hot cocoa after escaping the storm.
-Having a car (not new, just appreciative of it right now)
-Working at the Waste Audit. It’s not like I was jumping at the chance to sort through trash. But doing it (all interns had to do 4 hours this week) made me connect with a part of me that I had forgotten. The girl who lifted milk crates as her job in middle school. The girl who used a saw, a post-holer, and a shovel to build extensions on her dad’s Alaskan cabin. The girl who entered the woods to haul logs and railroad planks. The girl who is strong, and not afraid to get dirty, and not afraid to do hard physical work.
-My new Shiva Nata flailing thing.
Hello chickies! The best of weekends to you!!
The hard:
Feeling disconnected from my teaching business, which I’ve been creating like mad for several months now, because of intense focus on educational publishing business. Reminding myself that things I’m not working on at this exact moment are still alive. Does anyone else have that problem?
Unexpected role as half the sound person at talent show brought up anxiety/resentment stuff.
The frustratingly non-communicative print shop.
The good:
Lovely singing for elders with Alzheimer’s. Love them!
Talent show solo performance got dead silence, tears, cheers, lots of compliments. Duo with my dear friend was a blast. I love performing!
Produced new CD and poster ready to sell! Got a bit of a website up! New business ready to go and off to conference tomorrow to give workshop and sell stuff!
Figured out a bunch of technical stuff, like how to get a pdf file into Photoshop. Proud of myself.
Signed up for a Community Supported Agriculture farm. I have a farm! It’s going to be magical to get all our fruits and vegetables from people we’ll get to know right here!
Finished the freelance job I was worried about, early!
Love to all chickens!!
You know, I can sing like a chicken. I’d forgotten about that for awhile, but now I’m starting to think it would be a good idea to try that again.
Anyway, The Hard:
I was kind of grief-y, missing Mom. But that was actually OK because I sometimes feel like being in grad school and CRAZY BUSY with that gets in the way of some really useful grieving.
This week was quite non-productive as regards the actual dissertation proposal. But that’s also OK because:
The Good:
This week was really productive and exciting at work!
–My workshop on navigating the school-to-career transition for LGBT grad/professional students went really well, and there were lots of people there and terrific, encouraging and honest discussion. So needed, and I felt wonderful being able to meet part of this need.
–Did my third installment of an oral history interview with an awesome activist, and that went very well. I love this project.
–My boss said fee remission!!! Huzzah, my fees will be covered by my job for this quarter, which is completely awesome. This was in many ways a surprise, but I’m also proud of myself for screwing up my courage back in Feb/March and asking my boss to keep me in mind if any positions came up for this summer or next year that pay school fees. Guess she did.
–And my (clearly very awesome) boss tipped me off to an interesting symposium taking place on campus today and offered to introduce me to a friend who was presenting and who does work related to mine. That went really well and I am excited, as well as grateful to work in a place where people are so cool and keep their students’/employee’s needs for professional development in mind.
–My sister came over on Sunday and we had a nice long visit and talked about Mom and missing her. It was weepy and lovely and necessary, and I’m so glad she came over. At one point she looked me square in the eye and said, “You’re not getting what you need. You need to tell us [her and Dad] what you need so you can get it.” Very helpful, and I loved that she could see that and encourage me about it.
Hello chickeneers, sending spring blossom hugs out you.
My hard this week:
– No replies to two emails which probably doesn’t mean anything but sends weirds thoughts spinning in me.
– Two very late nights for me and the aftereffects.
– Missing someone.
– Missing work.
– My husband’s expectations. Feeling pressured to take action for later this year which I am not ready to yet.
– Money issues between the two of us.
– So tense when parents were here for a visit.
– Painfully tense left shoulder.
The good:
– Spring is oh so much in the air.
– Naps.
– The loveliest girls’ night out in a long time.
– The dressed I ordered in China via Dawanda about to be shipped.
– I was asked if I could help someone I don’t even know to get a summer job. Just happened to mention it to someone and the person knew someone who will take him on. I love these little coincidences.
– Some really lovely emails.
– Soon about to head of to the the sea.
Better late than never, right?
Firstly, have about twenty billion sparklepoints for phones. i hate phonecalls too 🙁
And Yay for the AMAZING Shivanauts Lab! Loving it 🙂
The Hard
No sleep.
20 hours of statistics.
Housework.
Cabin Fever.
Living with my parents for 5 weeks following 3 years of freedom…
My gentleman friend feeling tired = arguments 🙁
Migraines daily.
This.. i basically get flu for the first 2 hours after waking. EVERY DAY. Why?!
PTSD issues myself. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Constantly checking out the window and checking I’m safe.
The Good
I got into one of my Masters courses!!!!!!!! I got a place!!!!! Now need to earn £10,000 to cover the cost but.. yes; I got a place. Awaiting a response for my second application.
I’m at my gentleman friends place 🙂 We only see each other every 5-6 weeks but Thursday I was in tears over my dissertation and he said “come over this weekend”.
Making connections. Been participating in forums more [including shivalab] and making some really cool connections – both with “never thought of that, good point” and juts meeting fab people.
My gentleman friend cooks amazing food. It’s Glorrrrrious.
I wrote 7 blog posts and scheduled them throughout the week so I didn’t have to worry about them. Got another 3 ready to post 🙂
That’s about it for this week; Happy weekend and great to chick-in with you.
In fact, my gentleman friend just said “chick-in? we should have chicken on fridays if you want to do a friday chicken????”
-Rose
Sunday morning chicken:
The hard
– Unexpected oral surgery, followed by unexpected painlessless _except_ for amazingly painful protective dressing, ugh!
– More good friends are moving out of town. Realizing anew: I live in a town with a really transient population. HARD!
The good
– Saw a baby owl sleeping in a tree. Adorable!
– Have a flood of ideas for a suite of related products to create. Will they be perfect? No! Will they be good enough to sell? Assuredly!
– Set an intention to have local like-minded friends with whom to meet IN PERSON.
Monday chicken
The Hard
Husband having sore moments dealing with the loss of his brother.
I am resisting work. Its sore. Its MUCH more sore than doing it. I am trying to talk to my monsters about this, but they are not paying much attention
I am eating badly too. Too much wheat and then I get into the shaky syndrome. I know I only need 48 hours to get back out of it again. But I need to start.
Police patrol on outskirts of town checking licences. We’ve done this already. This shouldn’t be happening again. Tears in my eyes.
The good
Parenting course is really good. I thought I was playing well. But I am now playing SO MUCH BETTER. I should try some of this with my monsters too maybe. I am learning that playing is an end in itself. We adults often think of it as just a way to learn – or worse to TEACH. If we follow the kids they will teach us a lot more!
Sonshine back after first school trip away. Had a great time AND Manchester United won! House does feel right though now he is back.
Walking in the early morning, listening to the dawn chorus. Quiet country roads, roosters, lambs and lowing. 11.4 miles by 9 o’clock. GOOD
Glorious weather this weekend. Time on the beach. Playing and gardening in the garden. Lovely picnic and play with the cousins
Lisa- your post about grief was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with such courage and grace.