In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The craziest part about this crazy week of crazy is that it’s not even over yet.
I’m running around like, well, a chicken (head still on, I hope), trying to get things done before the weekend and then aaaaaaaaaagh pesach. Let’s see.
The hard stuff
Noise noise noise noise.
This week we were at Rally (Rally!) because it was Rally #8, and yay, Rally is the best.
Except the building next door was under constant repair, and there was endless hammering and banging and drilling.
It was unbelievably distracting, and made everything extra-challenging.
And then I got locked out of my house. In the pouring rain.
While the Gentleman Friend was away.
When all I wanted to do was to crawl into bath and bed, and eat something warm.
Hooray for neighbors with keys. I was such the miserable mouse until they showed up.
Hormones.
Ugh.
While it is nice to have an explanation for why I suddenly hate everything with great passion, it is still not any fun.
Trouble concentrating.
Too many projects, too much input, too much to think about, and all that noise.
Some not-good news that I can’t do anything about.
Frustrating and hard.
Nostalgia.
It’s annoying.
Time! It constantly seems like there isn’t enough of it.
And pesach starts Monday, and that is both ridiculous and impossible.
So much still to clean! On the other hand, at least I can look forward to eating kneidelach, so onward to the good.
The good stuff
Rally! Rally!
We played, we wrote, we flailed, we projectized.
People wrote business plans, changed their businesses, worked on their writing, took lots of naps, designed products and generally did extraordinary things.
And it was fun and hilarious and sweet. A lovely group. Rally! I live for Rally.
Huge progress on so many things.
The Shiva Nata iPhone app is really moving forward.
As are several other projects. This is good!
Shivanautical epiphanies, as ordered.
Lots of big, unlikely understandings and insights.
Not sure how to use them yet, but really excited about the new direction.
I made the most awesome treasure map!
It was this giant arts and crafts project at the Playground.
My monsters were not happy about it, because they couldn’t get how it was going to help my business. But then it did, of course.
Metaphors plus scissors plus sparkly paper plus glue. It was so much fun. I wish Joseph could have been there.
The Playground has a new fairy door.
It’s pink and charming, and there is a bucket in front that holds some very tiny boots.
We already have this highly entertaining tradition of regularly moving the fairy door, so that it’s always somewhere else.
Now that there are two of these, it’s fairies in and out all over the place. Apparently.
Anyway, the Playground is a very special place. And getting to spend the week there dreaming up projects was seriously wonderful.
Taught a very funny Shiva Nata class.
We made up words for the various positions.
Clarity, Knowing, Love and Bad-assery for the horizontals. Floop, Poink, Kachow and Boom for the verticals.
So as we progressed we ended up getting increasingly complex and ridiculous combinations, like Clarity-Boom! Or Poink-Love!
And sentences like Know your Floop in order to be a Bad-ass Kachow. Yes, that was level 2 transquarters, baby.
Had to be there, I guess. It was AMAZING and brain-break-ey.
Sunday!
Rose City’s Wheels of Justice are taking on the B.A.D. Girls, and this is extremely exciting and I cannot stop talking/thinking about it. Just look at that picture of Sully Skullkicker getting around Demanda Riot!
Every time we bout against Bay Area, it’s super stressful.
I am going to have no voice at all come Monday.
And can I just point out how great it is that five of the top six (derby-nerd-ranked) roller derby teams in North America are in the west coast division? And how that also makes it nearly impossible to ever get to nationals?
Take it from me. These are very exciting times.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band comes to us via the inimitable @sfslim.
Anarchist Beer Fairy
This one actually is just one guy.
And some good stuff I read this week.
I was hardly online at all because of Rally, but two things you should definitely look at:
Even if you don’t follow the game, this piece by Zach Dundas is a terrific read about culture.
And Kat’s post about two minimum daily requirements is the most perfect thing ever.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
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Hurray for Friday! Hi all.
The Hard:
-Lots of nightmares. Contrary to what *some* people think, my dreams do tell me things sometimes. I just don’t want to face what they’re telling me this week.
-Being an HSP is hard. Some days I just don’t feel up for this world.
-Missing my parents at odd moments. Will the grief ever end? Sadly, no.
-Not sure if physical therapy is hurting or harming foot issues. Still lots of pain, so much so one night this week that I cried.
The Good:
+Our first-year daffodils have at last bloomed! They’re not as “crisp” as most I’ve seen, but they’re new, so it’s all good.
+Community garden. It’s a wonder. I love watching all the neighboring patches come alive. And seeing grown adults sitting in the dirt is awesome.
+Seeing serious progress with women I’m teaching English. I am teaching, says the Reluctant Teacher.
+Flower and Garden festival in town should be pretty neat to see (and share with friends!).
+Receiving cool new shirt for my upcoming birthday from my best friend. I can’t stop wearing it and feeling like a Rockstar while doing so.
Friday’s Chicken is a Trickster Chicken.
I VPA’d for magic and resolutions and they arrived in the form of a summons. Which certainly provides an incentive to move forward! But isn’t really what I meant…
The hard was the thoughts and physical sensations that arrived along with that piece of paper. But the good was that I remembered that they are just thoughts and physical sensations. Really uncomfortable ones, but I scooched over and made some room for them and then I could breathe again.
Another hard was that the Seekrit Agent I have working for me on this has been less than forthcoming with her communications which leaves me standing in the alley way holding a cigarette and no lighter is appearing. I’m checking with her about that.
A Good is that I have people I can talk to about this and I do talk to them about it and it makes it kind of better. It at least makes it so that it isn’t all stored inside with no way to get out except through very bad ways.
A Good: Handstand! Bandhas! Being upside down is very very good.
A Hard: a lull in the clients. scary. bad timing.
A Good: my cold is going away.
A Hard: Feeling really alone in the world. Alone and trying to climb a sand dune and sliding back down and getting really tired.
A Good: I have my health. And my family has their health.
Hi – I have been reading your destuckification advice for a while now – thanks for posting!
I have had a fairly crazy week… am doing small business course to aid with my new website – TheGlobalYogi and had a big freak out hair pulling ‘maybe this just isn’t going to work out’ moment… and I’ve been working on it for months so much investment… then a emotional rollercoaster with a man on other side of world via skype (ah – modern romance).. think you get the picture. If I drank I would now be settling in with a double bourbon on the rocks…. instead am just breathing deeply…:)
Hello darling chickadees!
Little fairy boots? Love that.
The hard:
– Not enough time with my lady friend.
– Someone else’s hard seems to be rubbing off on me. It’s making me very sad.
– Worrying about someone’s health.
The good:
– The most wonderful, celebratory week there ever could have been. So wonderful!
– Sweet, wonderful, smart, beautiful friends, online and off. Feeling enormously lucky for that.
– A totally unexpected day off! Today!
– The chance that I’ll be photographing some glorious people in the next several months. I hope!
– Puzzles! I cannot wait to do them.
– Scrabble! Already played it once this week, and I’m ready for another round.
– Singing. I came to the realization this week that I must must must return to singing. It’s so totally going to happen.
– There is a very good chance that I’m going to conquer my fear of my Shiva Nata DVD and actually do some flailing this morning.
A happy and sunny and spring-ey weekend to everybody. And fairy doors for all!
I love the wandering fairy doors! I may need to put a fairy door in my space somewhere.
The Hard
-Husband had the flu, which led to my getting the kind of mini-flu that one can get when exposed to the flu after having gotten a flu shot. So while it wasn’t the end of the world, it wasn’t really fun, either.
-I’ve been having huge, scary doubts about my ability to do something big (possible “the thing”), to the point where I’m not even sure if anymore if it’s something I really want to do.
-My meditation practice is still all shot to heck, and I’m still not sure why. But sitting for 15 minutes has become the most difficult thing *ever*
-My ability to concentrate on anything other than surfing the internet seems to have gone out the window, but that may be related to item one on this list
The Good
-I finally got a job! This is bringing up some stuff for me, but is overall a good thing.
-We’ve had some gorgeous weather.
-I finally ordered raspberry bushes, and they will arrive soon. Also, I found and purchased a single “peach” raspberry bush to supplement the standard ones, which makes me very happy.
-I’ve been trying to consciously meet myself where I am, and trying to accept my feelings and not let them take over.
-Knowing that I am attending a workshop this week-end with fabulous people, and that it will leave me inspired and uplifted.
We live on the edge of the woods, and I’ve always wanted to introduce a couple of random fairy doors out there, just to see what happens.
This week’s hard:
– Anxiety over a medical test I haven’t had before to check up on a minor condition I’ve always had. Why all of a sudden this test? What could be wrong that they’re not telling me? Whirly spinny vortexical what-ifs.
– Dealing with unsolicited advice predicated on the misguided assumption that what is ideal for one person must be ideal for everyone. Hard to recognize that it is their stuff and not my stuff and just let it roll off without getting defensive and irritated.
This week’s good:
– All the medical stuff is fine; a couple things to keep an eye on, but nothing is getting worse.
– Got to spend an entire beautiful day in the garden last weekend. Spring truly is here.
– If I can wrap up a few loose ends on projects this afternoon, I’ll have ALL of next week off. Loaded up on library books and updated the Netflix instant queue to prepare for a week of sluggery.
Happy Friday, chickeneers!
This has been a great week: less of the hard, more of the good.
The hard:
• So much I want to do but: Computer problems, slow internet, fingertips getting sore from pounding the keys, interruptions, appointments.
• Brain fog. My head was clear all week but today I’m walking around not fully awake. That state is actually okay when I have to face things I’d rather not; it numbs me a little. But today I want to be awake, alert, alive, creative, active, productive — and I’m lost in the fog.
• A decision we need to make, and we are not doing anything about it. I know why we’re not moving forward, and that knowledge does not help.
The good:
• I’m learning to not let my son’s crises become mine. Distance.
• Playdates! I love the idea of taking a block of time to Play with my projects instead of working on them. I’ve had two Playdates this week with my newest project, leaving home to spend quality time with it. I’ve also had a couple of long-ish play sessions at home with another project.
• Progress is being made!
I’m not sure but I think I want a different term for projects. Ideas, anyone?
• The floors… the floors! Blessings and sparklepoints for my brother who is nearly finished redoing my floors and thereby saving my sanity!
• With the floors done and, trim applied, now is the time to Decorate! I’ve got paint! Wallpaper! Ideas!
• The kind of weather where I can have the windows open! I sit in my creative space upstairs and feel the stagnation of the winter leaving, making room for wonderful new things.
• I signed up for the June Rally! I’m so excited! My husband said a very encouraging thing about my going to Rally and hoping for a wonderful outcome. I was feeling a bit selfish until he said that.
• We’ve got some other good things in the works, and I’ve got a lot to look forward to.
Can I post a VPA today? I want more weeks like this! And I wish them for all of you.
Oh, Havi, thank you for linking to me! Your kind words brought a smile to my face and a sparkle to my morning.
Okay, chicken, let’s do this thing…
Hard:
-Struggling with the proposal. Struggling with my stuff around the proposal — stuff in the hard, and stuff in the soft.
-Our family is beginning to get into bike riding together, which is good, but we live in an area with many hills, which makes it much harder for me. And I haven’t been good about drinking enough water, which becomes much harder to disregard when you’re pedalling up hill. Plus, it turns out my rear fender was out of position and rubbing against the wheel, which surely hasn’t been helping. Having to stop by the side of the road and wait for the nausea to subside — not fun.
-Not enough sleep. Not enough down time, either. Monsters growling: How much down time do you think you need, anyway?!
Good:
+Getting to know some members of a local bicycling club, who were super-kind to me.
+The current proposal draft is done, and has been sent to my advisor for feedback.
+Lots of love and good times with my partners and my daughter.
+Got my hair cut and colored. I’m really enjoying the new style.
+Many moments of happy writing flow.
+Excellent choral rehearsal. The singer who stands to my immediate left made a point of telling me, “I’m glad I stand next to you. You’re really good!” 🙂
Happy Friday, and happy weekend, everyone!
This week has been…weird. I’m sad and exhausted and more things have gone wrong that I ever could’ve imagined they would…but neither the world nor myself has ended. People still care about me, and like me. Nothing is ruined.
So…
The hard:
– hair dye catastrophe..hello mangled tiger with hair every shade from dark brown to white blonde in irregular patches.
– For the first time ever, I failed something academically…mainly owing to a stupid and incredibly simple miscommunication…no way to resubmit either.
– Tuesday and Wednesday. Eugh. Getting lost in London at midnight, panic attacks, getting stranded, missing work the next day cos a) I wasn’t even in the same county and b) I was aa mental and physical wreck.
– being ill and assoicated viral apathy of doom.
– seeing someone get beaten up on the street.
– being persuaded against my better judgement to reopen a door I thought I’d closed, and feeling just as dreadful afterwards as I’d feared. Then feeling like an idiot. A sad idiot.
The good:
– spring! so beautiful and cheering…even when I feel like rubbish.
– people really going massively out of there way to help me even though the situation was only my fault and not hating me…which has sparked off a lot of revaltions about the ideas I base my life on. I think this is going to be awesomely positive, although I would very much like not to go through all this again. Ever.
– lots of laughs at work
– delicious food
– appreciating more and more what I have…rather than obsessing over what I don’t.
Hmmm…will be interested to see what happens in the next few weeks.
It’s been a pretty low-key week, mostly on purpose.
Hard this week: feeling out of the groove with writing, etc. But I know it will come back. Trying not to pressure myself and just take a mental/emotional break. Some disorganization/confusion with work stuff.
Good stuff: feeling more relaxed. Beautiful, absolutely insanely stunning spring weather. Got big old showy hyacinth that reminds me of a flamboyant old lady who wears lots of delicious perfume and is clearly in love with herself, but in a really charming way. My newish kitty coming out of his shell even more. Fun with makeup! Starting to feel inspired again after a bit of minor work-fatigue. Also…got my first laptop EVER after pining after one since I was 18. My husband and I are both entranced, a bit like confused gorillas who’ve had a computer accidentally dropped into their habitat. With that and getting my first cell phone a few months ago, it’s like The Future Is Now.
Looking to maybe add some gentle structure to my days in upcoming weeks, now that we’ve kind of adjusted to a completely new life, having Jeffrey home. Ready for super-productive me to make a dazzling comeback.
Don’t have time for a Chicken (bad me, I know), but just wanted to say that I can’t wait for the Shiva Nata iPhone App. Because:
+ I recently got an iPhone!
– My DVD player has eaten my Shiva Nata DVD.
So, yeah. Inspiration on the go would be swell.
@Joanna, congratulations on the job!
This week’s not-that hard:
– Up late again, sore from carrying furniture pieces and assembling them. Not all screws matched pre-drilled holes, ugh.
– Missed another class, sleeping late from the furniture extravaganza.
This week’s good:
+ Continued success at decluttering.
+ Office area now has desk, instead of a folding table! Plus newly-assembled sofa-table converted to printer table and storage, nicely solving a space issue. Plus bookcase moved to useful location. Yay, I have a real office! With room for art pieces, which look beautiful and inspiring. I think it just needs a fairy door.
+ Dinner with a friend tonight.
+ Spring spring spring!
+ Fabulous new Shiva Nata position names!
Happy Friday, chick-lings!
Haven’t done the Chicken for a while since the weeks seem to keeping crashing into each other with no defined period of rest.
The Hard:
– Still doing two jobs – for the price of one
– Search for new director failed. Again. Very mixed feelings since the longer I keep doing the job, the more reluctant I am to turn pieces of it back over to someone else. Major fears of being pushed aside when this position eventually gets filled.
– In a position of responsibility without the authority to resolve the problems that keep getting tossed my way. Very frustrating and exhausting.
– Cold, damp weather today. We keep getting teased with a nice day here and there, but nothing consistent.
The Good:
+ Catching up with a former client today for lunch. She went through some very tough times and has emerged a stronger woman for it – very inspiring.
+ Unconditional cat love
+ Students did a great job at the fair yesterday!
+ New interns are VERY self-sufficient.
The good
– ironman training is going well this week. swam twice, ran twice, biked once, biking tomorrow. Biking was fun… running was good and swimming was awesome! I swam like 3 miles or 5.5(ish) km.
– hanging out with steven and my own space time is working well
– yesterday had total flow all day long and was a cheerful day except for my first thing on the hard. otherwise yesterday was awesome
– my tomato seeds are sprouting, beans sprouted and need hardening off so i can plant them outdoors *yay* i hope the sweet peppers sprout soon.
– gramma is giving me an ipod tough o.O
– havi’s post on the “hello day” two days in a row is good. i did a “good night day” the last couple days too. the hello day worked very well yesterday. i think i’m slowly turning my argentina binder into a revue binder. now if only i could find more pretty binder paper.
The hard
– A professor who I hoped would remember me and might give me a letter of recommendation for grad school after 5 years out of school said no. I may have to audit a class at the local college for $800+ to get a letter of rec from a professor. I need to get better at keeping in touch with people. Also I do not have $800+ to audit a class + books.
– tiredness from the training in the good. 4am is dark for a reason. you’re supposed to be asleep.
– husband tries to be supportive with “just do it” attitude. while i love him lots, i don’t need to be beaten up any more from procrastinating than what i do myself already. need to save for the procrastination disolve-o-matic.
Hard:
-The attention span for the day job. Not so much. It’s more like an attention centimeter than a span. And the monsters are having a field day with that one, let me tell you. *rubs forehead*
-Wanting to find resources on balancing the day job with the creative Thing with the rest of life, but only finding advice to ditch the day job. Not what I want right now! Grr!
-Random headache yesterday
-Low-level housemate/chores stuff
-Worries about The Big Vending Event. That I won’t have enough things, or that they’ll be the wrong things, or what have you. These are worries I know how to address, but they’re still annoying to have knocking around.
Good:
-Making jewelry! Being productive! Figuring out useful things about marketing and my website and talking to my Right People. Much love to Havi’s writing for laying the groundwork in my head and to the Cash and Joy website for sparking some specific epiphanies this week. Now my “about” page includes photographic proof that I’m not a robot!
-Some awesome-looking social things coming up in the next week–yay seeing people even though I’m mostly in make-ALL-the-things hermit mode 🙂
-Realized the office has a hot water heater, so I can bring insta-oatmeal to have for a dead-simple snack or breakfast.
-Awesome weather and riding my bike = happy Riv.
-Apparently Monday is a holiday? More time to help cook for the seder and maybe sneak down to the metalsmithing bench 😀
YAY PLAYGROUND WEBSITE!
The Hard
– Writer’s block. Ow.
– I have to find a place to live. And it involves calling people and driving places and stress stress stress.
– My back hurts so badly I’m popping aspirin like…someone I don’t want to be. Stress stress stress.
The Good
– Kick Start Your Shiva Nata Practice videos are all done and sent out. Yes! And though it didn’t go as well as I hoped, I know what to fix for next time.
– I got to Portland in time to meet to Rallyscallions on their way out of town. Yay for internet friends entering the world of real life!! They’re great.
– My acupuncturist had an intuition about me that I have to go meet this friend of his here in Portland. Which feels like a super awesome and suitably wacky mission to be given. Exciting.
Yay for Rally! And faerie doors! And treasure maps! Wow I reallly need to find some money + time and come to one of your rallies.
The hard stuff
Odd sleeping patterns.
Not necessarily bad but hard to adjust and readjust and get a routine and BAM, routine gone, slept til 11am.
And what’s with the dreams of aligators, otters in a bird sanctuary and being married off to a caveman from the other tribe and having to fake my own death cos im engaged. I think I have some serious issues.
Insight Overload.
Insights are awesome. but I feel trapped. My insights were things like “wow, i dont feel safe in my own room” which just makes me really jumpy.
Education.
It’s dissertation term! And Oh please help me.
My gentleman friend doesn’t get easter off; he’ll be in the lab all easter weekend. looks like an 8-week gap between visits. And the online messaging programs are all FAILING. And he’s crying every night. He never cries.
So much hard and I can’t help. So so hard.
I’m sick of the Hard so.. moving on very swiftly.
The good stuff
A Business!
I’ve had the “store” up for a year now.. I put up 3 new services and.. had two sales this week.
So win. I have insights that led to services which led to excitement and I. Can. Do. This.
And I am.
Shivanata Teaching!
I’ve always said I want to teach adults – maybe night classes or meditation… But the *Bing* came and.. as of May 17th, I’m holding my first Shivanata class and someone’s already signed up!!!!
I’ll be a Shivanata teacher. Just Wow.
Dissertation:
I’ve been dreading writing the introduction because I didn’t have a reason for doing the study. there’s no research to back up my ideas.
And after making 6 shivanata worksheets, practising bits of level 4-6 [i’m at L2 generally] I went to bed at 1am, and tried to fit in some thesis editing.
*BING* connect that to that, throw in a comment like that and Tada! That will take 500 words to write out; you’re on your way!
So progress was made. And I did sleep enough overall. Going to write some “hello, day”s this weeka nd get things back on track 🙂
Yeah for chicken amnesty when chicken amnesia sets in – I seem to miss out on Fridays somehow.
The hard:
– The quiet little house by the sea that we had rented wasn’t that quiet because there was a construction site right next to it where they were building a couple of new quiet houses.
– Lots of cold and rain during a big part of our holiday.
– Husband rubbing salt in one of my wounds, me rubbing salt in one of his.
The good:
– The noisiest part of the construction took place on the days when the weather was really bad and we couldn’t use the little terrace anyway and the windows were pretty soundproof.
– To be by the sea.
– Two sunny and warm days. Feeling so caressed by the sun.
– Walks on the beach, the sound of the waves, feet feeling the sand.
– So much fresh air.
– Seeing spring making lots of progress.
Yay for chicken amnesty! Doing chicken and VPAs on the same day (unless I need VPA amnesty too).
The hard:
Conference where we were selling CD and poster was much smaller than hoped, all the vendors weren’t doing well. Didn’t sell as much as we hoped.
Several days of Not Doing what I knew I needed. Don’t know why.
The good:
My duo has a name!!!! We are now…(drumroll)… Two Doors Down! I’m so happy. Something about having a name makes it even more real. Happy planning for upcoming gigs.
Some preschool teachers loved our workshop and got excited about new CD and poster! Validation!
Did the taxes myself, with only a little support from saintly tax person. I was worried for ages about this and it wasn’t that hard!!!
Deep in my art history index, rolling along. Read ancient Greece historical novels during ancient Greece chapter, now looking for ancient Rome.
Reconnected to teaching business and started working on my e-book!! Feeling more expansive.
Great chorus rehearsals, very focused as big concert approaches.
My latest blog post got included in a daily collection. I think that’s good!
Hard:
* It’s not my worst month ever by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve been in floods of tears every single day in reaction to assorted aggregates of hard.
* Inexperience + current physical limitations = terror and frustration riding a bike to and from a neighborhood coffee shop. (But I didn’t cry.)
Good:
* Making progress on various projects, including some ancient items on the “get to” list
* A collaboration between my friend Mary and me has found its home after two years of wandering.
* Received an acceptance for another piece.
* And wrote a kickass new one. Oh, mojo, I have missed you.
* Listened to my body and instead of forcing myself to see a show or hit the gym, went home and gave myself an extended feet massage. I’m a little scared at how much I needed it — and a little peeved that, for various reasons, I don’t feel comfortable asking other people to provide it — but it felt sooo good. I need to make more time for it.
Wishing everyone a good week ahead, and chag sameach to the Pesach-observant posse. 🙂