In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
One hundred and ninety five consecutive weeks of chickening, you guys.
That’s pretty impressive.
So here we are. Hello, week.
The hard stuff
Not doing a thing I’d been looking forward to.
It was the right choice in that moment, but there was still sadness.
So. Many. Things.
And then monsters aplenty about which specific things needed how much attention when.
Lots of monster-ing in general.
Fortunately I was at Rally (Rally!), which is the best possible environment to interact with pain/fear/worry/doutbt/distress.
But man, there was a lot of it.
Sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped.
They just don’t.
Not knowing what to do about that.
Especially when there’s time-pressure.
The night of bad dreams.
Boo.
Rally is over.
Sadface mouse = me.
The good stuff
Saturday.
Saturday was a seriously glorrrrious day.
I have to thank Past Me for having a bizarre hunch that she needed to cancel EVERYTHING she’d planned for the weekend.
And then I also want to thank Me Of A Few Days Later for honoring that hunch and acting on it, even though she didn’t know why.
She canceled with Sarah and gave away her ticket to the Timbers match (I know, right? Who does that?! And we missed the first win of the season, and it was still the right thing to do).
All because of a feeling. And then she refused to let ANYTHING else come into that space even though there were lots of fun things going on. Like the co-ed roller derby bout.
I had a Completely Empty Saturday for the most extraordinary thing to occur. And it did.
Sun.
I spent five hours of my magical Saturday in the garden.
Three hours writing to slightly future me and two hours practicing yoga.
The sky was the EXACT shade of celestial periwinkle blue that the Hyphothalmus (my office) is at the new Playground.
The lilacs were huge. The apple blossoms: exquisite.
I sat under a tree. I listened to garden sounds. I thanked past-me for finding her/our way to Hoppy House, the just-right house for me.
I was deeply, deeply, deeply happy in a quiet, contented, peaceful we’re all organic- shapes-changing-shapes-together sort of way.
It was exactly what was needed.
Best. Rally. Ever.
This week was Rally (Rally!) and it has just been marvelous.
We had pretty much every part of north America represented, as well as two Rallions who made it from Ireland and one from New Zealand. And we all adored each other madly.
We sang and skipped and laughed and cried and wore silly hats.
Much delicious food was eaten, gigantic internal understandings were understood and received, and it was just such a loving and completely special environment.
I mean, special doesn’t even BEGIN to cover what a goofy, unique, beautiful, radiant, not-like-anything-else thing it was.
YAY RALLY! RALLY YAY!
The Floop!
The Floating Playground is such a great partner to the real-life Playground.
It’s like having a space where I can mini-Rally all the time.
And people are wise and sweet and loving.
So happy about this.
Things are falling into place.
The new Playground got played in. And napped in.
It’s so close to ready!
Everything is so close to ready!
I didn’t have to have a conversation I didn’t want to have.
The thing resolved itself for me. Thanks, alignment technique.
Oh. My. Goodness. SHIVA NATA!
The Shiva Nata realizations this week were epic.
That might have something to do with the hilarious and crazy classes I ran this week during Rally.
We combined sound effects, words, qualities, things you might see at Rally, numbers and math and music all at the same time.
And then we got really, really lost and confused and fell over giggling. It was genius.
I have been realizing important things all over the place, as my brain goes sizzle pop whoosh. With some rowr-bing-yip in there too for good measure.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band comes via magical Amy of the faeries who always wears the best pants:
Happily Bombarded By Hats
They’re super fun and they wear lots of hats!
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Come. To. A. RALLY.
It will change everything. As terrifying and wonderful as that may sound.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Some amazing things unfolded in my life this week, too.
I conquered my first-ever 8 mile run and transformed my son’s playroom into a space that we now gravitate toward instead of avoid.
I picnic’ed in the park and slept in on a work day.
But I know now, after last night’s drem conjured the sea and reading your above post about 5 hours of sunshine, that I want non-doing in the near future, and I want most of it to occur outdoors.
Thanks for writing!
The hard stuff
I’m still sick.
And since I was too sick to go to my last show, a large chunk of my income didn’t materialize. And my next show isn’t till several weeks after lots of bills are due.
The good stuff
I’m not as sick as I was.
And I can make coupon codes that say whatever I want them to say. So I’m having a sale in my shop with the coupon code PNEUMONIASUCKS. Ha! Take that, stupid pneumonia! [in the event that you’d like to take advantage of the sale and buy some awesome yarn, it’s 20% off orders of $75 or more through the end of April at http://happyfuzzyyarn.com/store. my defective lungs and I will thank you.]
I can actually talk now instead of just whispering and squeaking.
How is it FRIDAY?! I swear yesterday was Monday.
The Hard:
Monsters. More monsters. Whipped up with monsters with a side of monsters.
The thing that always makes me feel better even when I start out feeling really awful made me feel worse. Which rather upset the aforementioned monsters.
Awful awful dreams. Violent terrible heart-rending dreams that keep you in their thrall even when you’re awake.
Creepy new age drum circle of no sovereignty at all. And people doing weird dances at me while smiling, refusing to speak, and looking very angry in their eyes.
The recovery time from that.
Bleh.
Alternating states of boredom and terror.
The Good:
Hiking around beautiful springfilled parks for 3 hours a day on Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday. And doing TONS of Shiva Nata.
Moving around the entire house to make room for art!
Lying in the new shared bedroom, watching our stars machine on the ceiling, feeling like we’re falling into the entire universe.
The fact that Rally happened this week, though I was not involved in any way. Just made me happy when I thought about it, which was often.
My friend who couldn’t play guitar at our reception now *can* play guitar at our reception, which solves about a bazillion problems with no work whatsoever.
Cheers Chickeneers!
The Hard:
– having to take a hot yoga class to fulfill a requirement
– drafting final exams
– random waves of emotional ick
The Good:
– champagne and cupcakes on my birthday
– implementing brief daily writing sessions (just 5 minutes really works)
– the systems are all starting to come together
hello all and Friday!
the hard
-a general sucky week feel.
-feeling sure project is stupid.
-more in overwhelm than abundance.
-stuckness over new bike not showing up.
the fabulous
-tons of project work done.
-flowering trees everywhere, smelling up everything,
-bike riding under those trees.
-abundance coming through.
chicken-y kisses to all chickeneers with extra clucks!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Friday!
The Hard
– Crazy busy. Traveling to Spain to Belgium to Holland to Belgium to Holland all in one week.
– Visiting friends who are a couple who were processing life changes – and I felt like the thrid weel. Ugh
– too much busy at work and projects. everything was happening at the same time and the pressure was big again. even if it was mostly awesome i felt like i was falling apart.
– The cold and allergies were still there. My body is not happy but now is not the time to stop working.
The Good
– Floop. Some amazing epiphanies happened there and I documented them so I can read them later
– Friends. they were everywhere. coffee times and sweet facebook messages and just feeling they were around.
– Business plan writing – I got asked to write one in a week for something that might really be happening and YAY
For Next Week
Please no more busy! And some safe falling apart.
I thought it would be hard, but it wasn’t. It was amazing!
I booked two buffer days following our return from Paris. I will never not do that again. So little resistance to buffering. So much trust.
It was a bit difficult
Two days was great, and re-entry was and is still quite hard.
There is this other thing, too – silent retreat! – that’s been going on all week. It’s a “Really Bad Thing”, but I’m awake for it and not running from it.
I thought it would be good, and it was!
Paris! I loved it there. I’m really grateful I got to go. Hope it happens again before too long.
The hard:
The weather. Most specifically getting soaked to the skin and chilled several times on Monday, and then unsurprisingly ending up with a muscle strain after getting wet, sitting around in damp clothes, getting wet, sitting around, getting wet, sitting around, then getting absolutely soaking.
As a result, hardly any yoga in the week, and no walks. Meh. I feel really sluggish.
For what felt like the 500th time, getting interrupted while (trying) to do yoga nidra by random, loud plink plonkiness on the keyboard. Ugh. Every time I’ve tried to do anything like yoga, shavasana or meditation in the evenings for the last couple of months that happens.
Eating very late in the evening, which is utterly rubbish for me. Wishing food and meals weren’t such fraught subjects.
The good:
Fabulous things happening over at Ardis, and getting the most amazing client feedbaack. So fulfilling!
Planning other yummy things, and getting to the point of being ready to start making them. Yay.
Booking tickets for the Yayoi Kasuma exhibition. Excited.
Playing around with some interesting photography ideas.
The muscle strain has completely healed, as has the weird throat thing from last weekend.
Somehow seem to be creating more spacious days for myself, which feels good.
Meditation. Extra yummy this week.
Pancakes! Always good.
Wishes for beautiful weekends + weeks for you all.
Hard:
-I AM UNHURT BUT on Tuesday, I got hit by a car while biking. I was super shaken up for the whole morning, and my bike won’t be rideable for at least a week or so. I’m very grateful to be OK, but it still sucked a lot.
-Did something to mildly injure my left arm while working in the studio.
-Sleep has been sub-optimal lately, and I’ve been realizing that my “normal” is actually “moderately depleted”. More rest and more effective rest next week, please.
-I’d better not be about to get sick again!
Good:
-I HAVE PURPLE HAIR AGAIN. (Yes, monsters, this is worthy of the capslock key). And *also*, because of the Floop, I realized that it’s a kind of costume and that I might be able to have all kinds of great costumes that are as powerful as having purple hair.
-I finally finished a commission, so it’s not hanging over my head and can instead (hopefully) make a customer happy
-I’ve kinda been finishing a lot of things that were nagging at me, for that matter. While noticing good ways to take care of myself in the studio.
-I have a new coworker who’s also an old friend! Yay!
-Did you know that they make watercolor *crayons*? They are really fun to color with (nice solid depositing of color), and then you can paint with them if you want.
Chicken!
This week, oh, this week!
The hard:
– Physical stuff; pain, sinus and allergy things, lethargy, general ick and a sense of stuckness physically and metaphorically.
– Spending too much time in bed.
– Isolation.
The good:
+ Progress on something I’ve wanted to make progress on for a long time. It finally happened!
+ MrB got good reports from his doctors; he’s recovering and should be back on his feet again soon. Things will be easier for me then. Yay!
+ Starting new projects and continuing some I already started.
+ Books. Many excellent books!
+ The internet.
+ New understanding of a long-term pattern, with maybe a way to begin to address it.
+ Hope!
+ Sunshine!
Wishing sunny days to all.
@Riin: yikes! wishing you much improvement in both health and monies in these next weeks.
Hard:
* major medical stuff
* feeling meh and conflicted about heaps of things
Good:
* things getting done anyway
* finding out about Welty-Maxwell letter collection
* dear friends and darling doggie
Shabbat shalom to all!
@Riv Purple hair rocks! My hair’s been purple for over a year and I absolutely love it! I only wish it was naturally purple so I wouldn’t have to keep dyeing it. Also sympathies on the bike fiasco. I almost got smooshed by a semi once (truck passed so close, the side of the trailer touched my handlebar! Gah!), and it freaked me out for months. Take care of yourself.
@Mechaieh Thanks for the well wishes!
@Riin – get well soon! Sending virtual non-squeezing hugs to your lungs.
@Riv – yikes, so glad to hear you weren’t badly hurt! That shaken-up feeling is hard too. Hugs to you.
Oh Friday chicken. I need a big fluffy feathery hug from this chicken, I think…
The Hard
The room-switching thing at home. Feeling weird about it. Feeling suddenly super sensitive to LOTS of weird space issues.
Still no conversation or movement on the Great New York Question Slash Dilemma.
My monsters are convinced it is the end of the world and of EVERYTHING lately and they’re being really loud.
Related, PMDD. Yeah.
My favorite shoes are dying 🙁
The big slowdown at work that always happens in late April, and somehow I don’t anticipate it, and somehow having less work is actually harder. My responsibility monsters are very disapproving of this whole “working less” concept.
I am in mega resistance to exercise right now.
Mega resistance to using the chicken board on the Floop, too, even though I love it so.
Difficulty connecting to Future Me and getting any of her advice, since right now I am terrified of two particular outcomes and don’t want to hear about the future lalalalala la la I can’t heeeeeeeaaaaarrrrr youuuuuuuu…
Good things
Gosh. Actually a lot of good things, this week! Despite everything! Yay!
New lunacup!
My first week with my standing desk at work and I love it. The space is happier, brighter, I feel happier in my body. Using my turnout muscles and core work and ahhhhh.
The binge cravings that disappeared (as usual) when my cycle arrived — it was a tremendous relief to learn yet again that my monsters were wrong, it was just temporary.
Chickpea kale stew! I am so obsessed with it.
Good news about a big important grant inquiry letter we submitted.
Despite the fears and monsters, I am actually excited about the room changery and finance changes being made right now. Change is thrilling in a good way after so much stuckness and awfulness.
Flooping to get advice from Wiser Me after all, because eventually I found a safe way to ask without hearing about the scary future stuff I don’t want to hear about at the moment.
Floop! Floop! In general, the Floop was wicked awesome this week.
Today, I feel really good in my body. Strong and grounded. A definite miracle, and I feel proud for how I am taking care of the miracle.
.
Happy Friday chicken to all!
the week! it happened?
hard:
-what what gunk what stuck can’t …move… forward…. trying-to-trust-it’s-temporary and doing gentle move-on things although it ate the whole week.
-Having a book i was (formerly) determined to work through Front.To.Finish. ask a question I did not want at all to answer. helped toss me in the gunk (see above)
-feeling lame as a teacher, unpresent etc. boo.
good:
+TWO hikes on Saturday! Because one wasn’t enough 🙂
+Lots of boyfriend time with the ACT teaching being over
+Shiva Nata expedition and some hints of grand epiphanies close by.
+new going-to-be a habit of working in parks! picnic bench = great desk
that was short… s’ok. chicken crowns for all!
Cluck
Hards
– no computer only the iFail. (My poor iThumbs!)
– ridiculously ridiculous list of bills and things going wrong and barely enough money and no way Boring Bureaucracy can say when it will be arriving and then someone smashed the rear windscreen of the crappy car too so I don’t know if we shouldn’t be just taking it to the wreckers and DAMN but money blues are soooooo BORING. As is passivity, inertness and the idea of battling big bureaucracy.
– snide internal commentary on the above about how it’s all my own dumb fault for being so up myself that I’ve never budgeted and saved properly because of the part of me who thinks I’m so SPECIAL and saving is for chumps. So motivating!
– my core muscles are not as strong as I want them to be, ie. pissweak…..
– busy-ness leaves me tired
– patience, and the finding of it.
– the popular Australian mythology that we should commemorate the Anzac landing at Gallipoli because ‘they were defending our country’. Um NO!!!! Hello, we were the invading force and Turkey had hardly even heard of Australia, let alone had any plans to do it’s people harm. Yet oh boy what a great excuse to get all pissed off about immigrants and turn into a bunch of Yeah-Aussie, southern-cross-tattooed, bogan yobs. Issues with HOW war is commemorated: yes, I have some.
Goods
+ wonder baby. Eight weeks old now!
+ Little Lad, especially his specialist hydrotherapy/swimming lessons for special kids. He looooved it, I love to see his face bursting with grin.
+ also advocacy and my doing it and getting him a spot in a speech/social skills group after all, funny that. Yay
decentgood parenting.+ bubbling with ideas for Thing (thing!) after trawling through course curriculum descriptions to undertake next year. Direction!! Form! I do well with a direction. And after seven years of mostly muddling and what-am-I-doing-with-my-life this feels really good. Yay.
+ because the Universe provides when I have a direction. A ted talk and a book that both dovetail beautifully into the General Theory of How We Work that I’m developing with a view to spreading the sovereignty/NVC/wholehearted-living/equanimity/joy around so we can achieve World Peace.
+ best lasagna ever. Secrets: a not ungenerous pinch of nutmeg in the sauce, a layer of char-grilled eggplant (aubergine), and letting it ‘rest’ for fifteen minutes after taking it out of the oven which meant it didn’t fall apart as you tfrd a piece to a plate! Mmmmm.
+ quiet weekend. Phew!
That’ll do. Seeyaslater. Xoxo
Stupids
iFail auto-correcting ‘its’ to ‘it’s’ innmy chicken! Oh no! Pet peeve!! Given I nearly sprain my eyeballs rolling them so hard when I see it elsewhere I wanted to make sure everybody knows that I know how to use that apostrophe and I sincerely apologise! Ugh.
😉
@Riin – wishing you recovery and more healing.
@Riv – scary, those moments. Wishing you whatever it is you need.
My week – geez, things changed quickly, but the week felt long.
Hard:
* A friend is in serious scary health crisis.
* I was asked to go back to my old job to help out with the above.
* Monsters galore – see below.
* Stood up by a client.
Good:
* Have been able to approach the situation with friend, client and work with much more sovereignty.
* Putting myself out there more and more with regards to life coaching and listening workshops.
* Dealing with monsters in new ways.
* New organization system working so far.
* Lots of Shiva Nata, processing and openings.
* New plan for health issues.
Chicken… b’kawk!
The Hard:
Waiting for revision letter. Hashing out promotional plan without any real idea of goals. Lingering stress-trigger of “let us know what your local newspaper/radio stations are and who to contact.”
The Good:
Discovered I need a promo plan in the Soft as well as in the hard — in fact, it’s far more important for me to deal with the “I have no support” and “I am imposing” conditional love issues, as well as self-esteem and sovereignty issues, rather than just “where do I send a press release.”
Got the revision letter! Editor liked it, but still, need to add 100 pages and work out world building.
Flooptastic-ness.
HARD
-going to [place] and finding out The Terrible Thing
-not wanting anyone to know The Terrible Thing but desperately needing some kind of support to deal with my feelings about The Terrible Thing but not wanting to have feelings because More Terrible
-all the energy expended on trying to keep my shit together
-all the things that got pushed off due to Lack Of Spoons
-continuing Visits From The Aliens
-rage at fatphobia! RAGE!! especially from a massage therapist?! RAGE!!
-the book I was reading (Life: An Exploded Diagram) turned out to be super disappointing
-the other book I then read (Pink Smog) ALSO turned out to be super disappointing! booooo!
-having a body
-not completing the reading I planned to complete
GOOD
-my shawl, which is a Fractal Flower
-several steps toward [a thing I might be trying to think about doing]
-new people in the vegan chat room!
-rehearsal!
-chocolate chip cookies stuffed with thin mints!
-hanging out with [Captain Rain]
-I addressed the fatphobia situation really well
-Awesome Encounters of the Purple Hair at the library
-a lot of good writing/journaling
-Spiritual Nomad class!
-revisiting the MYOG dream
-did a small but important Act of Integrity and received a beautiful, loving response
-playing with anagrams!
-www.mapcrunch.com!
-Healing Attunement!
Ah, Chicken. You are my exit from the week. Completion. Separation. Before we move on, what happened?
The Hard:
-knee aches. I know it will take time to get strong, and the PT says that he can fix me, but I still don’t like pain, and I still have fear that this won’t go away and/or I’m not doing everything I should to fix this. Ah, monsters, how are you today.
-stupid insurance company with its stupid policies. Can’t you just let me have what the doctor says I should have without making me jump through hoops that don’t even make sense?
-bugs. bugs on the patio, bugs in the house. I dislike bugs.
-challenges around consumption. again.
-monster talk in general.
The Good:
-physical therapy is, on the whole, going well, and it makes me feel like something is being done.
-4 day weekend!
-pedicure!
-new shirt, also adorable and completely impractical new shoes!
-time with friends
-sleeping in
That’s it for me. Goodbye Week!
Eep! Been resisting the Chickening this week. Let’s see why:
The hard:
– uber-bad energy crash. Several more days in bed, more time crying and sleeping and feeling ick.
– massive misunderstanding from hell, that triggered so much STUFF (that I was not able to handle sovereignly, which meant throwing a shoe… I am not proud of it.)
– weird incident with new boss where she threw a shoe at someone else, “for my sake”… kinda scared of working with her now, as she seems completely unaware of her shoe-throwing.
– hopelessness – I know why it is there, and where it is coming from and making room for it has helped, but it is still there.
– feeling depleted and unable to give even the smallest of things, like a conversation or a birthday wish, or a smile/hello. It all felt like too much for a few days, though, it is lifting now. Feeling disconnected as a result of this.
– feeling angry/hurt/unsupported in a few relationships. Transforming these feelings into avoidance. I know this is my stuff. I am working on it.
– the infection is spreading from lower to upper respiratory tract, or I have a secondary infection. Still not inclined to see doctor.
– Silent retreat on this one thing.
The good:
– Moving to new place tomorrow! Wheee!
– Seeing Hyacinth next week too.
– Got grades back and did quite well, despite everything this year.
– Went dancing with a new group of friends and had fun.
– Had the *time* to stay in bed, even though it was not fun.
– Managed to take care of some work that had been piling up. Good job, self!
– Have also re-initiated self-care mode, which means drinking water, no excuses.
– Handled the incident with new boss and other person with a lot of sovereignty. Was able to remove myself from the drama, even though I was tired and frazzled and depleted. Thank you, past-me for having the presence of mind to notice and respond responsibly.
– Handled my own shoe-throwing well. Recognized it as AFGO (Another eFfing Growth Opportunity) and took responsibility for the shoe, apologized, made amends, communicated what triggered the stuff and asked that it not be repeated.
Hmm.. so the week wasn’t absolutely dreadful. That’s a nice discovery.
Requesting Amnesty. Oy what a week:
the Suck
-sunday’s load of suck. the thing that I KNOW shouldn’t mess me up, but it always does. unpleasant process PLUS acting out followed. SHAME
-above incident seemed to be one of those “silly dramas that clears the air.” those may be effectiebv but they are not Sovereign or Safe or COnscious. I do not like the shitstorm of aha, this is why we work on our stuff and not just let it work on us
-feeling fat and not pretty. mourning the loss of my yoga-butt
-altar-sister needing brain surgery, also has 5 truckloads of negative
-the icky/jealousy/sadness/insecurity of a friend who chatters away about egtting laid, when you aren’t
-lack of spoons
-being interrupted all day, esp. by kids when i’m on the phone
The Good:
-the writing is coming, the end of the book is in sight
-and other writing is bubbling right behind it
-joining a new community of smart kids and setting up my Lemonade Stand there
-writing for the lemonade stand
-painting with the 5 year old. sharing my good paper (but holding onto my good brushes and paints). this is a big step forward
-husband really making an effort to be kinder and help with kids on the weekends
-doing the groceries on saturday instead of sunday. omg the ease and time that opened up because of that.
-writing and follwoing ther outline (yea outline) and seeing my tasks get completed. Seeing m,syelf finsihing this thing ON TIME. feeling like a REal Writer
-deciding to buy myself a bunch opf nice things because omg i should ahve them
-feeling more Sovereign and in my power all the time, even when things are less than sparkly
-did I mention the writing is going well? and there’s more bubbling up.
-deciding to go with surgery. Feeling incredibly at peace about this choice. Feelin ncalm about making a pre-op and post-op plan. I like the cool clear mindset I encounter when dealing with this, not avoiding, being smart. I like using the owl stickers to hel;p me overcome fear. Wondering if this cool energy is the Goddess Athena, becuase it feels liek her.
-went to Unity Yoga class yesterday despite headache and it was PRECISELY the class I needed.
-going to buy myself a Fluent Self thign today. not sure which, most likely Art of Embarking (altho the Yin Yoga package is very compelling…)
Friday was busy, and then I was out of town all weekend having fun! Let’s see what I can remember of the past week.
Hard:
–Not enough sleep.
Good:
–An extremely pleasant artist date.
–Flashes of clarity.
–Plenty of affection.
Oh! And here’s a good thing that I forgot to mention in a previous week: I filed the taxes myself. This was so empowering! Instead of having my sweetie do it, grumbling and getting aggravated at my right-brained record-keeping systems, while I sat anxiously nearby trying to help things be okay, this year we switched roles, and I step-step-stepped through the process, with my sweetie nearby, ready to offer support and advice when needed. A thing I’d been dreading for months turned out to be marvelously, anticlimactically okay! Yay!