Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
What worked?
Ending Fake Beach Day with feet.
Fake Beach Day is great while it’s happening, except then the end gets all stressful and not-fun.
This time Danielle and I went to the Barefoot Sage and ended Fake Beach Day with foot soak and foot massage.
It held the magic of actually going to the beach: Tranquility. Expansiveness. Spaciousness. Ritual. Grounding. Freedom. Lightheartedness. And feeling stones and water under your feet.
And then I went to see Wally and we worked on that some more.
Making life a little easier for Incoming Me.
Little things. Setting them up.
Untying my dance shoes so they’ll be easier to put on.
Packing my bag the night before. Setting the water bottle by the door.
Secret ops at the [radiant smile time].
Last time that I was at the (shh, dentist), I made lots of notes for slightly future me.
And now I’m here! And all set up with code words and a secret postcard, special entry rituals and lots of reminders.
It was amazing. I went to Cam of the magic fingers, I’d already booked the room I like best, and I got to sit in the humming, vibrating heated massage chair while she put rose oil on my temples. It was ease-filled, peaceful, speedy and calm.
And it turned out that I’d overpaid last time or something? Anyway, the entire cleaning and x-rays came to $16. What?!
The theme of this week was CHANGE IT UP.
Change it up change it up!
This worked like a mantra and a theme song and a battle cry and a reminder.
And it made things that might not have been fun seem like they were part of a bigger adventure.
Next time I might…
Have a list of possible Middle of The Night Putterings.
For when I wake up in the middle of the night full of energy and wanting to putter, but not remembering what needs doing.
FInd the new metaphor first.
As soon as I play with metaphor mouse, everything gets better.
But sometimes I’ll try to make things work for way too long without changing the words.
Set a quota on how many appointments can be squeezed into a week.
Because a thing about Havis is that they can’t handle this much interaction.
The hard.
- The Zipcar excursion that ballooned into a giant mess.
- Tired. Very, very tired.
- Time is going so fast!
- Too many meetings.
- Too many appointments.
- Too much running around.
- So much to do! All the time gremlins.
- My playmate was AWOL, and we were both too busy to play and this sucked.
- I need playtime to be at my most brilliantly creative, and playtime wasn’t happening.
- A fun thing getting postponed for six whole days. Also the resulting crankiness.
- Delay, in general.
- Locked doors.
- A thing that fizzled so hard, and I didn’t want it to fizzle and I was pretty attached to it not fizzling, but it was the time for fizzle.
- Even though the fizzling had nothing to do with me, I tried to make it about me.
- Forgetting.
The good.
- Two (two!) skype-dates with Marisa!
- Conducting, when I remembered to do it, was the best.
- Wally and I are doing genius things together.
- Dancing it up. A lot. And feeling great.
- A Friday night that got canceled and uncanceled and re-canceled and finally happened, and all of this turned out to be just right.
- Best fake beach day ever..
- Every single thing about going to the dentist on Tuesday.
- Okay, every single thing about Tuesday, period.
- Waking up Wednesday with all the sparkly energy in the world. And with the perfect Nook-Booking solution (a previously unsolvable problem: solved!).
- Anticipation is my drug of choice.
- Two weeks until I’m off to the VICARAGE!
- Eddie.
- Baths, baths and more baths.
- It is not as cold as it has been.
- Lighter in the mornings! More fun to go to early dance class.
- Going to early dance class means so much more day in front of me!
- Feeling outrageously inspired (thanks again, Most Wonderful Tuesday!) and getting all the things done.
- Change it up! I’m a redhead again. For the first time in maybe twelve years. Liking it.
- Change it up! I wrote the Nook page and the secret door page and all the things!
- Change it up! The hallway is now becoming home. The red chair is in the right place. The new curtains are the right ones.
- Mariko. Hi!
- Athena laughing with delight (and with the light), and trying not to say I-told-you-so, but mainly just delighted and also maybe saying I-told-you-so. She was right, and I am glad.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week:
The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom.
The main op that worked this week is an ongoing one that has to do with timing and flow. It’s actually kind of a game that normally I have a lot of trouble with. But this week it worked!
Every time I had Time Stress about “this is late” and “this is not done” and “I am behind”, I invoked the superpowers of No, Waiting Is Good And Letting Things Percolate Is Good And This Is Right Timing.
And guess what? Everything was good.
It turned out to be PERFECT that I hadn’t written [project X] because then I found out what it was actually supposed to be about. It was good that I didn’t do the things I thought I should be doing because they way they ended up happening turned out to be even better.
This week I remembered this. And I delighted in the apparent dead ends and locked doors, knowing that they were clues. And this is a big deal!
Operation APPLE Wham boom!
Operation THIRTY SIX Wham boom!
Operation THREE SYMBOLS Wham boom!
Operation CORNCOB PIPE Wham boom!
Operation SCHMURPHY TANGO Wham boom!
Operation LUSCIOUS CURTAINS Wham boom!
Operation 2014 Athena in the Sun Part I Wham boom!
Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom! Wham Boom! Wham Boom!
You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of Humming! I asked for this in the VPAs, and then I got it in all of these fabulous and unexpected ways.
For example, in the form of the heated massage chair at the dentist!
And the superpower of Channeling A Certain Oh Let’s Call It Sexy Awe to help with copywriting.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of Entering the Bat Cave. And the superpower of Time Expands When I Need It To.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band apparently comes from me, but I don’t remember the context. Thanks go to Richard for reminding me that this is the band.
Cinnamon Demo Tape
They sound… kind of like that.
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
The class on TIME. I feel strongly about it.
It is breaking people’s brains. But in a good way.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Tulips! Tulips! TULIPS!!! (<–me shouting smilingly)
What worked?
* combining recipes
* parchment paper
* stewing the fruit
* asking "Is this true?" a LOT
* avoiding bandwagons
Next time?
* pack pencils
* more walks
* change the order
Hard:
* my skin is making me crazy
* my hair, ditto
* my glasses, too
* someone being a putz to my partner. Not. Cool.
* missing things (umbrella, vest, dress, WTF?)
* encountering horror stories about potential employers
* a heap of things rubbing me the wrong way
Good:
* blissful naps
* completing hike in spite of hail
* Australian Open pools — my underdogs coming through for me so far!
* people getting/staying in touch (look at that, time gremlins…)
* enjoying studying
* transplanted cuttings not dead yet 🙂
* room to experiment
Superpowahs!
This week some of my calculated risks paid off beautifully. May that continue.
Next week I want the superpower of Shrinking Obstacles. And of Making Small Talk While In Mega-Introvert Mode.
Wishing everyone warmth and yays!
Oh yea Friday again!!
what worked this week:
-Exiting the Day more often. it really is the magic. the tea! oh the tea!
-getting Sovereign about Puppy time. i want my puupy time, puppy time can take hours and hours and if i let it. making a container for puppy time, and sticking to it, solves all the issues
-amnesty for not sticking to the above
-Noticing the evening
-chunking out time to Journal, for the Black madonna. nice progress which was a recent VPA
next time:
-Exiting the Day more nights.
-try Visiting the River more consciously
the hard:
-feeling more pressure to accomplish mre stuff at work
-feelign pressure to move forward on lots of stuff including Blac maddonna project and choosing instead to screw arund online. shame, frustration, loss of productive time and up too late.
-sveral stings and tweaks, nothign fatal just…boo
-my body does not look like i want it to look. despiar over th fact that i have not effected more change in all the years i’ve been lamenting about it. shame, despair and defeat.
-i did no movement from monday til now. i cannot just Move Fri-Sun. how to do this??
the good:
-wonderful visit with Dr Hofmann last weekend. gentle and kind
-not leaving the house last wekeend in the deep freeze. bliss
-journaling more.
-the Time class!
-despite it all feeling very happy and blessed and grateful
-the Seership material. love this work
This week doesn’t feel like a week because 5 days of it were spent on conference travel.
The Hard
– Orlando humidity does unfortunate things to my hair
– trying to function on Eastern time when my body is on Mountain time
The Good
– over 50 people came to my talk on flipped classrooms!
– hitting it off with several people and making connections and having interesting conversations
– Puerto Rican food
PS – Cheers, Chickeneers!
TGIF!
What worked:
– Laying out my clothes ahead of time when I had to get up early.
– Alternating boring work tasks with tidying/cleaning type tasks while working from home to keep me from getting too bored with either.
– Going all week without having any dairy! I already feel better.
Next time I might:
– Figure out a ritual for starting my day when working from home.
– Make a particular effort to drink more water when working from home.
Hard:
– Having my big presentation at work rushed.
– Being so so so sore in the mornings! Gah! Not sure why, either. Probably need more yoga. Or any yoga, really.
– Hurting my knee shifting boxes around and to and from storage.
Good:
– Having a room full of people cheering for my rushed presentation!
– Working from home all week!
– Getting a lot done around the apartment
Oh my – this week. I feel like I’ve had several different weeks, all at once!
What worked:
Resting!
Doing visually creative stuff.
Next time I Might:
Rest sooner!
The Hard:
After thinking/feeling I was getting better, then spending the weekend and Monday feeling dreadful. Fighting resting because Inowanna! and then feeling even worse. Monster fears about the sick + tired.
Cat crisis on Weds morning for about 3 horus which left me utterly exhausted for the rest of the day.
Then suddenly feeling absolutely dreadful for most of Thursday.
Feeling annoyed at how little I’ve used my online dance subscription this month.
Drama with a friend. Feeling annoyed with myself for in anyway getting sucked into and participating the drama yet again.
People asking for [x], me saying no, and then them repeatedly asking, again and again. WTF?
Realising that I’m highly unlikely at this point to get any of the things I wanted to do in January finished.
Silent retreat!
Cancelling my visit to an art exhibition in London and meeting up with a friend that I was really looking forward to because of snow.
The Good
Snuggling in bed with books and tea and my iPhone, watching the sky.
Amazing sunsets.
Walking home along the beach on Tuesday. Why do I not do this more?
Walk along the beach Wednesday.
Art journaling.
Feeling well and energetic enough to do 45 mins of dance on Wednesday.
Snow! Is pretty, I don’t have to out in it, and makes everything so cosy indoors.
Took my first self-portrait in 6 months!
Writing something out that’s been swirling round inside me for days.
The Hard:
Still slow at work. Worrisome.
Clients crying because things are hard and there isn’t a magic answer.
Dr. Who. Just discovered it and it’s sad. So sad.
The Good:
Carrying on. Doing what has worked in the past and hoping that works in the future.
Putting out calls on the Ham Radio to see what’s ahead.
Saying “This is what I want.”
Sleep. And yoga and Dr. Who.
Aunts emailing me when I wanted to be mad at them, but then I forced myself to email them back and I wasn’t mad anymore.
Forgiveness and remembering that sometimes you need to keep forgiving over and over every day.
Hi chickens! Happy weekend.
The hard:
I unexpectedly . . . moved.
Supernova exhaustion, galactic lunatic exhaustion
Collapse, actually.
Bed rest.
The good:
Help with moving, really amazing, thank you, helpers
Bizarrely perfect timing, I basically get energetically ejected and wafted to whatever new place is how this now works in my life
“We’re so lucky I am a Capricorn” notices the person who thinks astrology is satanic, lol
Pretty view, orchid, peanut gallery, immediate environs pretty organized, blackout curtain
Excellent medical help
“Very good.”
The Capricorn is right: the shelves are now totally clear yay
Very cheap treat discovery at whole foods to continue my long term project/evil plan of bribing the dog into primary loyalty to me
New things I needed came in mail
Omg this major weird nonhelpful *constant* chronic stressor that was seriously draining me, intermittent reinforcement style, now GONE: YAY!!!
Deep rest, I am pretty much ok w it and mostly not panicking that it will be forever
I go back off the dairy and sugar today, normalcy returns
Oh yeah! There was the Caesar salad that broke the camels back! A discussion that eliminates a major energy drain, kind of a major shift.
What worked: asking for help. Resting. Radical acceptance. Insisting on structures to prevent chaos and overwhelm.
What didn’t work: tv ads and endless skinny actresses with loads of fake hair are surprisingly undermining even if on mute and mostly ignored. No wonder our culture is nuts about this stuff, these are insanely potent spells with direct reptile brain access, good lord. I guess I forgot.
Superpowers I had: help. Accepting the temporary. Moving. Transition. Landing. Step by step: sorta patience? Is that what it is called?
GACK! Hullo hullo Chickeneers.
Glad to see ya.
This morning…. i nearly lit our home on fire.
I started a chimney fire.
dumb dumb dumb…. i feel dumb.
All is OK.
No one – no thing – is burned up.
‘allelujah!
As for the week….
What worked?
+ ON THE FIRE FRONT….catching the fire early, staying calm, slamming the craft SHUT to cut off the air supply (fuel) and making sure my sweet raggedy man was awake and ready to RUN.
+ moving ahead step by step by fiddle-puck step with the NIP.
Next time I might…
NOT build a fast HOT fire first thing in the freaking morning.
Relax more.
Have a sip of coffee…what’s the big hairy RUSH, woman???
The hard:
– the slowness of fidddddling with timeline issues in the NIP instead of plunging forward headlong towards…. whatever.
– Poor Raggedy Man twisted his ankle while shovelling off the rink and I felt guilty for not noticing he’d been outside IN THE DARK AND COLD for.. well, an awfully long time.
– Reading through some past work. It’s good. But hellllnation it is triggery. Hardness. Hard hard hard NESS.
The good:
+ hauling wood and pumping water. Good to be physical. Good to know (and show) that I can do it if I need to (when the man is dooooown).
+ cooking my first ever pot roast in a slow cooker. Always wanted to give it a shot 😉
+ Time spent with MiL was good, calm, insightful. Yay.
+ I DID NOT burn the place down. Oh thank ye thank ye thank ye.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week ( can’t seem to do strike through or any formatting on here… maybe one day I will figure it out):
+ Operation Tequila Timeline – I do believe Jimmy B is sorted out and now the novel can continue…. SMACK-A-DO
+ Options Open OP – a p/t job applied for…with the knowledge that I am still free to say…. hmmm… maybe NOT if and when I get an interview for the position…… SMACK-A-DIDDLE
A WHAM AND A BAM AND A LOOKIT DAT you monstahs!!!
A superpower I had this week…
Remaining calm when the stovepipe is glowing red.
and… remaining calm at other time, now that I think about it.
The superpower of the PAUSE (PAWS!).
Woot!
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of seeing through walls and finding my way in the dark. Yes please. Thankyou.
Happy weekends to you all! -p
cluck – hooray for chicken time!
The hard:
Too many nights of not enough sleep, and then having to remember the next day there’s a reason why I’m cranky/crying/minimally functional.
The good:
Great call with folks about goals.
My car is back! (it’s been out of commission enough that driving back from the mechanic’s was very odd.)
Found a sleep mp3 that seems to be working – or at least did last night, so I’m reveling in a functional day.
What worked:
Building in ease and rest.
Reminders to be gentle with myself.
Lots of writing time.
Eating really, really healthily.
Stretching when I remembered.
What might I try differently next time:
A little more outside time.
Listening to gentle music as my constant background.
Even more stretching!
Superpowers!
I would love the superpower of always having time to rest.
The hard:
-Paralyzing fear
-Technical issue in listening to the Time class
-Not having needs met in the hiking group
The good:
+Seeing an example here of getting less impressed with a hard thing (waking up in middle of night), enough to get ideas to make it better
+Kids warming up to me
+Potential support
+Freeing up time
+Feeling more hopeful for a little bit
+Naming the feelings
+Compassing (while commuting)
+Time flexibility
+Listing what I’m good at
+Doing something for others
I did not play with yoga or Shiva Nata, as I thought I would. I sort of read about those topics. Interesting — maybe my need to be in my body isn’t being met. Maybe the chocolate craving is related.
To try next time:
-notice my feet every hour or two
Superpower I had:
-the appearance of normalcy
Superpower I want:
+stepping out of the loop — in a single bound
Cheeekin. I feel like a person again this week. It’s been a while.
The Hard:
– Eight adults, one child, one dog. One house. One bathroom. One kitchen. I don’t like this math.
– New bed isn’t here, so we have to hang out in the living room, meaning being always on display, and in the same auditory space as everyone in the house.
– Broken heart still broken. Social life still including lots of reminders of this.
– Way way too little sleep.
– I called someone by the wrong name. You wouldn’t think this would matter much, but I’m really upset for some reason.
– Contractor! Two weeks late on a project that will take him two hours. And mean we can clean up three entire rooms of the house which otherwise we can’t clean up. And then today he “got too busy” to stop by. DUDE. FINISH MY BATHROOM SO I CAN CLEAN.
– Family stuff.
– Now that people are gone, my monsters have a LOT to say about whether I deserve this much spaciousness. (You’d never guess, of course, but they don’t approve. :P)
The Good:
– Seeing my brother! I adore him! My baby also adores him, and he held her for hours and hours and I got so much done.
– Left the baby! And she didn’t get hungry and she wasn’t traumatized and I had plenty of time for the things I wanted to do. Also, I got to be truly alone for the first time in some months.
– Date morning! Sans baby!! Soaking pools!!! Naked sun(!)bathing!!!!
– So sometimes when I’m really depleted and I do something kind for myself, all the -rest- of the depletion I’m feeling comes up and I feel even worse. That *didn’t* happen this week. I just felt energized.
– We are moved into our new house! And our new house is amazing!
– We have a washer and dryer. And not just any washer and dryer: super sexy intelligent ones with computers and logical interfaces. Never have I been this excited about laundry, and that’s saying something.
– Cleaning all the things. Painting all the things. Arranging and rearranging all the things. Virgogasm over here.
– So many people here helping! It’s really nice having people around -and- billions of things got done which, had I been in charge of them, would have taken me days for each.
– Our new neighbors are really nice.
– Great weather, considering the month.
– I am no longer someone who rents a storage unit. I feel strongly about this!
Hey there, Friday! Hello, weekend! You are welcome here.
A thing that worked: Using NVC in a moment when I was feeling sad. It suddenly occurs to me that NVC isn’t just good for non-violent communication with other people, it’s also excellent for non-violent communication with myself (and, by extension, my monsters). Eureka!
Next time, I might… Oh, maybe bake the birthday cake a day early, or even just a few hours early, instead of in the eleventh hour. Why? Because buttercream frosting on even slightly warm cake makes a hot mess. (A hot, delicious mess.)
A hard thing: Someone I love is feeling very sad and scared about a legitimately sad and scary thing, and I wish I could just fix it, with magic or money or whatever it might take…and I can’t. Not right now, and not all by myself.
A good thing: Got my hair done today, thanks to a generous gift certificate from my sister. Ahhhhhh, bliss!
WHAM BOOM! Took care of some medical appointments. Made sense of my daughter’s high school registration form. Did some sweet and savvy singing in rehearsal this week!
Superpowers! This week: The superpower of Time is My Friend. (The monsters are not yet convinced, but we’re working on it.) Next week: The superpower of Art Everywhere.
Lighting my candle now…
Cluck cluck
Hard things
– old sadness got unsettled. From deep inside my bones.
– also old fear and desperation and confusion and pain.
– people act out of their ‘stuff’ and do it all over me and their stuff is NOT reality, and I feel pain about being Not Seen as well as all the energetic blerrgh of other people’s crap and opinions and distortions.
– anger. I haz it. Second stage of grieving right? Although maybe I just skipped over that part before. Or else it’s the good kind, the kind that tells you about your Dammit List and lets you know where your boundaries are. That kind of angry. I don’t know, but it’s glowing like hot coals in my belly. I can see why people use it for evil, it makes me feel powerful.
– school holidays mean you get a LOT of time with your children. Sometimes this is draining.
– wonderbaby has had two more teeth coming through and been a bit cranky. Also she wants more and more People Food and that means I have to prepare it and either feed it to her or else mop up after she has fed herself. If only they went from Booby to Cutlery without the messy middle bit, huh?
– precocious five year old house guests who keep you honest. Oh my lawwwwwd.
– busy. Not enough lying down.
That’ll do.
Good things
+ the skills and safe spaces to process old pain.
+ cleaning the house is more fun when you infuse it with hippy woo woo intention and ritual.
+ spaciousness. Safe spaces in so many places.
+ school holidays means you never have to rush in the mornings.
+ Little Lad sang me the Rainbow Song in sign language and showed me that although he has awful awful trouble with any kind of performing-on-demand, ‘test’ environment, he does learn more than one might think. I will remember to keep several grains of salt around throughout his schooling.
+ kids are cute and very lovable very often.
+ family from overseas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GOOD TO SEE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+ the revolution has begun. I am deep underground and have compatriots in their bunkers on board too. Vive.
xxooxxoo
Cheers, Chickeneers! Chicken Amnesty on Caturday!
Wait – I can still sign up for the class on time even though it’s already happened? And I just happen to have *almost* the right amount available for it? Synchronicity!
@Jane, Online dance subscription? Where? Is it good?
What Worked:
+ Planning ahead
+ Giving myself permission to take time off for lunch and DMV
+ Setting a water bottle on my desk
Next Time:
+ Notice when the water bottle isn’t working and replace it with a new one. For some reason, I don’t trust the water bottle when it’s filled at work instead of at home (silly of me, they both come from the same source), and ignore it, but don’t feel like I can buy water to replace it because I have one sitting there.
The Hard:
– My knee, so achy.
– My neck and shoulders, so achy. Boo. Once this week, I sat at my desk and just stared at the monitor, completely unable to do anything but ache. After stretching, after painkillers.
– Sitting at the DMV (District of Miniature Violins?) for an hour in the Worst Chairs Ever. And the girl behind me who kept leaning into me.
– Worrying about my Dad
– The COLD.
– The Hubs making decisions I don’t agree with, telling me about them way after the fact, and just having to swallow them. Triggers some trust-related stuff for me.
The Yay:
+ The car I’ve ben driving is now in my name. This is a little sad because the reason it’s in my name is because my Dad can’t drive anymore, but I’m still happy that I’m not driving someone else’s car.
+ The COLD isn’t changing my life much. So I don’t get out for a walk, but I can still get around, there isn’t snow, there isn’t ice. It’s just COLD.
+ I’ve been relishing the feeling of being compassionate for other people’s hard things.
+ Getting cat #3 in for his shots – WHAM BOOM and Yay Trucks, they’re all done for the year.
+ Strawberry-Chocolate Rooibos and Lemon-Lavender-Mint tea – yummy.
Superpower of This Week:
Naming the Year!
Superpower I’d like for Next Week:
The superpower of being able to find the right words at the right times
Woot! Chicken!
The Hard
-Mornings
-being late to the thing and everyone had left
-Nightmare on Thursday
-Pulled muscle – pain and suddenly a week of not doing anything movement-y after doing something every day last week.
-All the weird anger stuff on Wednesday after accupuncture
-People being angry and unsovereign at each other in my inbox
-Not having any capacity at all for detail-y stuff
-The invitation emergency
-paralysis (of the mental/emotional kind)
-all the stuff about behind behind on everything
-Having to push back harder than I’m comfortable with at two people who were trying to corner me into doing things.
-Still overscheduling
-Fight with my brother
-Tired… not enough sleep.. meh…
The Good
-Friends on Sunday
-New and old friends on Wednesday
-Awesome friends on Thursday
-Old friend on Friday
-Seriously, so many awesome people in my life
-Accupuncture
-Some amazing realizations this week changing everything, and also not.
-Realizing that some of the stuff I’ve been hugely in resistance about isn’t so bad
-Rock climbing!
-Flooping
What a week! Happy weekend!
OK, a Saturday chicken at this point.
The hard:
SICK. all week. Culminating in laryngitis, which is always frustrating.
A lot of guilt about resting, even though clearly rest is needed.
Boat loads of reading in class, and I’m not sure I understand it (financial and tax related material).
Perhaps it’s the illness but I feel very at sea, not sure what the next move is, not very motivated to find out.
Potential problem loomed up and I imagined all sorts of dread scenarios about what would happen, but did not have the physical energy to deal with it.
The good:
Fortunately I stocked up on Kleenex last week. Darned if I won’t go through all three boxes.
Enforced silence allowed me to get ahead on a work project. I am now ahead of schedule. Yay trucks!
This semester’s prof seems like an engaging, knowledgeable fellow, so that’s fun.
Potential problem turned out to be raised without a lot of drama, and will probably be easily resolved. Whew!
I am sandwiched by cats!
My team, they did so well during an unexpected event. I was cheering (silently).
Aware of being at sea. Looking at the at-sea-ness. What can I learn from it? What is it telling me? Maybe it is not to be fought, just nodded at.
All best to the chickeneers. Stay healthy!
Hi Havi!
Here’s to mysterious conversations by the sea.
Sunday Chicken!
When I was a kid, fried chicken on Sunday was a regular thing, and instead of saying “I know what he’s like,” and similar things, people would say “I used to eat Sunday Chicken with him.”
What I’m like:
Recovering from pleasure and leisure and mental stimulation. I spent the last two weeks away from home — one week as part of a delegation to Mexico, where I shared duty as interpreter — and then a week on a cruise ship in the Caribbean with MrB.
What worked: Pretty much everything. Having no expectations, just being open to what was happening. Drinking lots of water before and during travels.
Next time: Get packed twelve to twenty-four hours before we leave, so the last-minute rush isn’t so last-minute or so rushed. Try on clothes I haven’t worn recently (i.e. out of season things). Don’t trust the weather forecast.
The Hard:
I didn’t sleep the night before my flights and was therefore exhausted by the time we reached our destinations. I missed some welcoming activities due to the need to sleep.
MrB is losing strength.
A promise not kept.
The Good:
Using my abilities.
Learning new things.
New perspectives.
Lots of rest on the cruise.
New friends.
A wonderful surprise: MrB bought me a diamond ring.
I didn’t have an engagement ring, just a plain gold wedding band. He didn’t ask if I wanted a ring; he just told me he wanted to give me one and thought I should choose it. I did, it goes perfectly with my wedding ring, and it’s lovely.
Superpower I had the last two weeks: Contentment.
Superpower I want next week: Nesting.
HARD!
+trying to make a present for someone who Doesn’t Like Colors
+all my Stuff about Costuming and its affiliated Fund
+fuck transphobia. seriously, fuck it so so so so much.
+also fuck invisigenderizing and the jokes that seem normal to people because of it
+the Flipper Conundrum
+generalized dinero stress
+body stuff
+playing Russian Roulette with chocolate
GOOD!
+journaling every day
+using lists for tracking!
+chocolate chip pumpkin muffins!
+unexpected miracle opening the Shift!door
+Costume Fund request approved
+beginning Remembrance routine
+starting classes!!!!!!!!
+TA DAing!
+naming superpowers!
+went to the eyedoc! now i have things to try that might help my eyesight. cautiously optimistic about this!
+new Indian restaurant!
+finished reading Being Bodies
+read Shadow Baby
+watched Praying With Lior, which is a beautiful documentary about a child who has Down’s Syndrome and is preparing for his bar mitzvah…highly recommend
+elevensies in the mornings!
+working my way through Profitable Idealist course
things that worked.
+creating journaling time every day
+really working/nurturing/seasoning/cuddling the Shtuff that needed work/nurturing/seasoning/cuddling
+building playgrounds! most of which are lists! lists are my friends!
+TA DA! lists! which are also lists, look at that!
+permission! to cavehide!
+elevensies in the mornings, often before even opening my eyes
+inviting new music
next round i might…
+make a Playdate (or several)
+align my physical body more
+journal about [pizza]
Superpowers I had this round.
+Superpower of Reading Books
+Superpower of Rainbow Colored Spreadsheet
+Superpower of Lists (which are also Ladders!)
Superpowers I want for the coming round.
+Superpower of Flexible Parameters
+Superpower of Imaginary Puppies
+Superpower of Prolific Bakery