Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
What worked?
Napping.
Strategic healing naps! Also just crawling into bed when things were not working.
Sometimes even for three or four hours. Exactly what was needed.
(Also fun: each time I decided that I would wake up with a useful realization. And then I did.)
One thing each day.
The You Must Do All The Things monsters and time gremlins were not so into this plan, but they agreed to let the Internal Scientists test it out.
Getting the one thing out of the way felt so good that we often did a lot more than the one thing. Things got done. Evidence!
Using Pandora to take breaks.
Whenever a commercial comes on, I turn off the sound and sit and breathe and smile.
Thank you, reminder to rest. The commercials used to be jarring and annoying, taking me out of play-mode. Now they are my ally, conspiring to help me pause (paws!), which makes play-mode even better.
The Very Personal Ads.
Everything I asked for on Sunday was useful, but especially how I set it up.
The nine shapes were just the right thing.
Consulting the Book of Me.
I almost planned a fun hanging-out thing for last Saturday but the Book of Me and the Dammit List were very clear that on the day of a roller derby bout nothing else can happen. The Book of Me was right.
Next time I might…
Remember that most problems can be solved by napping.
Also most problems are not problems, they just look like problems.
This is interesting. I am learning more about this.
Look at my notes about stones.
I know so very much about stones.
Use a proxy.
Yay, proxies!
The hard.
- Everything breaking.
- Seriously, everything. Jar, mug, glass, shoes. Ripped shirt. Spilled more than half of the Very Expensive Bottle of [thing-Havi-loves]. Monsters wish me to specify that it was not an alcoholic substance, this was not drunky-clumsiness!
- Being at the Coliseum is the worst. Overwhelming and exhausting.
- Stones being stones.
- Stones disappearing. Time passing and realizing that the stone is gone.
- In general not hearing from people.
- A fun thing becoming much less fun.
- Fizzle fizzle. Why so much fizzle.
- Insecurity monsters turned crossed wires and misunderstandings into Hard Evidence of (doom).
- Too many things.
- That one question that I am so sick of.
- Avoiding friends and people I love because they can’t stop asking that one question. Needed: buffer phrase!
- Super scary phone call from the Denver police. Everything is okay now!
- How are all the things going to be handled? Oh right. That’s the wrong question.
- Running into a huge amount of grief.
- And then also fear of the grief. Fear that if I stop doing all the time I will be alone with all that sadness.
- Toozday I had plans for a Doing Day, but it turned into a have a panic attack and go to bed day.
- Big stress over the elections in Israel. Also… not exactly guilt but something about not going back to vote.
- Finally got some time with the playmate but instead of playing I just cried for an hour straight.
- The moment of saying, “Well, it’s better than nothing.” Ugh.
- End of the Floop, my Floating Playground. We had a gorgeous year together and I have so much love for what we did there.
- Forgetting truth.
The good.
- It’s roller derby season again. I could not be happier about this.
- Getting to see GNR (the team I’ve sponsored for four seasons) kick ass and come back from a deficit of fifty points to beat the Heathers!
- Seeing Scald and Shrew and Eclipse and all my friends. I am so rarely up for the socializing, but when I am it’s so great to see people I love.
- Actually, it was the week of social. I had (unsurprisingly-fantastic beer!) with Al and Richard at Uprising, and with @vicarpac at Saraveza, and everything about this was LOVELY.
- Writing a hard thing but not caring.
Not caring about all kinds of hard because (superpower!) I suddenly remembered about how Nothing Is Wrong, and then nothing was.- No, seriously. Nothing Is Wrong. Even the sidewalk said so.
- Saturday: sleeping in and napping, and having a not-doing day.
- My missing playmate is back! Playdates throughout the weekend and on Wednesday morning.
- Being wrong about everything!
- Discovering that all the hard things this week were actually good things!
- Incoming me.
- A long talk with Alon about all the right things.
- As the very mysterious note that arrived this week said, there are people.
- Incoming me.
- Once I realized that the Hall of Mirrors Insecurity Effect was in place, I was able to stop believing the monster-evidence for Everything Being Wrong.
- The moment of saying, “Well, it’s better than nothing.” (Yes, this goes in the good too!)
- Gazelle state. Dance class.
- Phone call at the exact right time.
- Ahahahaha it was all a misunderstanding. Just like on every sitcom ever, and just like I always say at Rally (Rally!) — assume misunderstanding.
- The best ever plans for Thursday! I had to cancel them but that didn’t take away any of the delight over their existence.
- Less than a week until I’m at the VICARAGE!
- I love this year’s Floop so much and I am delighted about next year’s.
- I feel peaceful and happy.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week:
The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom.
Operation STOCKINGS Wham boom!
Operation RESTOCKINGS Wham boom!
Operation NINE FORMS Wham boom!
And two-thirds of Operation Room Glow! Whoosh Ha Mastadon Boom! Wham Boom! Wham Boom!
You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of What If Nothing Is Wrong! I had this so hard this week. Things were wrong, but they weren’t wrong for me. I was there for it.
And then when they were wrong, it was still good.
The day of panic was good! I woke up from my nap with a HUGE and vital realization that I never would have had otherwise.
The hour of crying with my playmate revealed a giant hall of mirrors where my insecurity monsters were playing. It also revealed that something I thought was a deep feelings problem can actually be solved with logistics.
The pain over the stone disappearing reminded me that each stone has a purpose (if not several), and that my job is to enjoy the stone as a stone. If it’s gone, it’s gone. If it’s not, it’s not. There are always more stones. And then the stone returned anyway, as stones often do. Nothing is wrong!
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of stopping to remember.
From the archives.
- The thing you think is less important is actually more important than the thing you think is the most important.
- Beacons.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is called
Bowl of Socks!
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Prices for the 2013 Floop and the Year of Emptying & Replenishing (password: compass) go up next week.
Also, some of the Y.E.A.R. options include the Floop.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Follow
Cluck, cluck. Hello chickeneers. xoxo
Things that worked this week:
+ having food in the freezer.
+ having contracted professional debt-dragon-tamers a couple of months ago. I have ????say-vengs?? What are these say-vengs of which you speak?
+ Burn-Noticing (assuming that whatever I did was the right thing and keeping an eye open for why that was true).
+ moving my plants into the shady corner before the heatwave. They thrived! Love my potplant garden, the first garden I’ve ever had that has done well over the Australian summer!
+ basically being a little bit organised in all those little ways. Knowing what the weather was going to be tomorrow, knowing when I’d need the car three days in advance, thanking past me for stocking the freezer up for a hot, tired, busy, lazy week like this one.
Next week I’ll try….
+ playing with ways to keep my internet time a choice rather than a too-soft-too-big-too-squishy-armchair-it’s-a-struggle-to-get-out-of…. Maybe setting up a standing desk, so I can just walk away and don’t have to deal with UGH gravity!
+ shavasana. Feel the habitual resistance and do it anyway. Hello resistance, you are the clue that I really need to lie down for a while, I’m wired, that’s all you’re here to tell me. You don’t mean anything more than that.
Hard things….
– really seeing my old life for what it was. Ouch.
– (related) seeing how deep and old and intergenerational some of my patterns run. Woah…
– interacting with my husband in the new configuration of my life. Wow.
– ibid.
– running late and THEN ibid. WOW!
– a lot of driving.
– Little Lad starts school next week. I was weeping on the couch the week they handed out uniform order forms and booklists and stuff. I suspect I will have one day to get the info about what we need to do and to do it. #depressionhangoverssuck
– comparing my Little Lad to his cousin and rightening myself with stories. Which is just a dumb and irrelevant thing to do.
– hot weather. Also, that moment driving through the countryside in the early morning thinking ‘oh wow, everything looks misty and watercoloured and beautiful’ and then realising it was because the air was so full of smoke from the bushfires.
– haven’t spoken to a few friends for a long time. I want to do that!!
Good things! Yaaay.
+ cannot recommend processing your crap highly enough. Seriously!! Sooooo much more effective and helpful than endless grinding wheels or avoiding it.
I’ve done therapy in my life, but never like this. The understandings, and the way I was able to receive them without flipping out into Culpability Shame or having these understandings of what my life has included MEAN anything, knowing that these things do not define me either! This is new! And is proving consistent!
Thank you Havi; thank you Floop; thank you age and experience; thank you Universe and synchronicities; thank you all the efforts and actions and energies of all the ancestors and all the past-Mes for supporting this wave I am riding where I have the time, space, resources and capacity for doing this; thank you seeds I sowed over the past two years for growing. I am blessed.
+ hard interactions were mostly quite to fairly easy to detach from.
+ family from OS still here. Love them so much.
+ the science museum. It is ACE fun. I <3 science communicators!!
+ the revolution. It has begun!
xoxoxo
Superpowers!
This week: the Superpower of Accessing Great Metaphors!
Next week: the Superpower of Letting My Body Make the Decisions. (Pleeeeease!!)
xoxo
Chicken!
What Worked:
Saying over and over “This is what I want.” Planting seeds. Going to see people. Co-conspirators who will pass me along to the next person on my path.
Seeing Seth Godin live! Yes, this definitely worked.
The Hard:
Money. Still. Again. Work is frighteningly slow. And even though I’ve been here before and am doing all the things that normally work, something’s not clicking. Maybe it will click next week and the coin will drop.
Realizing that life is short. And that even though many times I’ve wanted it to end, I really don’t. Maybe that’s a good thing?
The Good:
Co-conspirators.
A warm house in all this cold. And so many warm clothes.
Travel and folks to watch the cat.
The cat! One year! one year to go from hiding in the closet for 2 weeks, to snuggling under the covers sometimes.
Seeing that usually when I know what I want and go after it, I get it.
The reminder that nothing is wrong. No, really.
Performing therapy on myself. So helpful and fast. No waiting for an appointment! And it worked! No more misplaced anger and blame. Freedom.
Hard this pushing me towards good things. Pressure sending me in the right direction towards where I truly should be. Like Ganesh, who sometimes removes obstacles, but other times puts them in your way to redirect you.
Now I want to hear Bowl of Socks in concert, on a double bill with Soul of Box!
What worked? Deciding to enjoy the thing that I didn’t want to have happen. Now I actually am enjoying it, and even beginning to prefer it to the alternative.
Oh! Also: using a buffer phrase when someone made an awkward request. This bought me enough time and space to come up with a much better alternative that makes everyone happy.
Next time I might… Work on sliding my whole schedule back half an hour. Just that little bit of time would make a big difference.
Hard:
–The Wizard has now been out of work for four months. I do not like this.
–Today is my father’s birthday, the first since he died this past May. There is an ache in my heart.
Good:
–Lots of sovereignty in this week’s artist date.
–A wonderful, exciting possibility which, even if it doesn’t end up coming to pass, is still delightful to contemplate.
Wham boom! I washed my extra-warm but grubby winter coat. (I even found a pair of tennis balls on the discount rack, for bouncing around with the coat in the dryer, as per cleaning instructions!) It looks much better now.
Superpowers! This week: the power of intriguing dreams. Next week: the power to recognize that my superpowers are superpowers, to give myself credit for them.
I am lighting my candle now, and sending love to everyone who reads this. It’s a magical candle, in your favorite fragrance — or with no fragrance at all, if that’s what you prefer. <3
Bowl of Socks! This sounds both like the best band and something I’d like to keep about the house! Actually, why do I even have a sock drawer when I could have a sock bowl?
My week:
What worked?
Getting up at 6:30 continues to work. Creative journaling and entering my day is going very nicely, but I still need to find a way to align this with my supposed morning writing practice.
Eating no sugar, wheat, or caffeine. It is so much easier than I thought it would be, and multiple good things are arising.
Next time I might…
Remember about fractal flowers and throwing things in the pot and chrysalis time.
Spend more quiet purposeful time touching base with my intuition.
The hard…
An incident that made me feel like my bubble was being invaded and disrespected.
Discovering sugar in my soy yogurt (but it turned out OK, nobody panic).
Various exercises that were difficult because of no knee strength or that made my knee hurt.
A little bit of a disconnection with someone last night.
The good
Finished revising a story!
Finding out my hot air balloon can be finished at a later date.
Laughing uncontrollably.
Yoga class.
Playing with paints and stuff.
Discovering required reading was also enjoyable reading.
A party that involved sitting awkwardly in a room with seven Saudi Arabian men ended up being fun and I met really cool people, and I still got home to bed on time.
Slowly but surely I am learning German.
Everything being very convenient and going smoothly when my car broke down. I could put “car broke down” in the hard, but everything worked out so well I’m not going to.
Glorious sunshine in the snow. Birdsong.
Just generally feeling like things are working out and that I’m doing what I want with my life and improving.
Wham boom! Operations completed this week:
Operation Hot Air Balloon Stripe Eins.
Operations Tinti, Link, and Hesse.
Operation Bake a Cake.
Operation Huevos Rancheros.
Whoosh Ha Mastadon Boom!
Superpowers I had this week:
Everywhere I go I experience love, respect, and appreciation.
Maybe nothing is wrong/Everything is right.
Today’s superpower is Everything is as it should be and perfectly timed.
A superpower I want next week:
Maybe nothing is wrong/Everything is right is a really good superpower. I also want superpowers such as Perfect Timing, There is always enough time and space, etc.
@Claire
I like your internet metaphor. “too-soft-too-big-too-squishy-armchair-it’s-a-struggle-to-get-out-of”
What worked?
* stocking the fridge with enough protein
* consulting the book from the library
* steering some opportunities toward others
* trying things on
What might I try next time?
* more movement
* less second-guessing
Hard:
* not being able to extract embedded stuff (both literally — there’s a splinter in my left hand — and figuratively)
* monsters being very shouty about past mistakes
* I like milk. Milk reminded me it doesn’t much like me.
* feeling despondent about sexism and ageism
* sadness at taking myself out of the loop on various things, even though right now it’s necessary
Good:
* giggling! My man and my dog and my friends, so adorable.
* sovereignty! Trusting the choices I am making.
* dress-that-wasn’t-in-the-box situation seems to be resolved
* glasses fit again
* cactus cuttings taking root
* seeing deer and turkeys and squirrels on yesterday’s hike
Superpowahs!
this week – rerouting, rewiring, revisiting. E.g., changing recipes on the fly. Cluing in on a key revision.
next week – Calling on the superpower of staying warm.
Still shouting TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULIPS! Because they are awesome. And stubborn. And stubbornly awesome.
Warm wishes to all.
Hi chickens!
Hard:
Tired (very, but I have a much better container for it now, without lack of persnal/storage space and constant possible demands at any moment, ah!)
Eggs make my skin break out, I am so mad about this.
There are so many things I know I just can’t eat. It is a pain. If I remain in even the limited way I am in any kind of larger culture here, there will be stuckness. To get better I have to make a big jump and remove myself almost completely as far as food is concerned. This is so totally not my style! I need to stare this fact down a whole bunch more, process it (whine!) set up systems, then make a jump. Hard!
*Someone* loves chaos and ridiculously dysfunctional Things systems and I had an actual temper tantrum about this!
Anarchic bedtime, crazy 7 hour range
Taurus, what to do with you: in me and in X. I need you to get more practical and imminent. I know you won’t! I need you to stop investing soooo much in beauty and luxury and to stop taking so damn long! I need you to go a little Aries and Virgo and Capricorn for me. I need you not to be 100 percent stubborn and stuck on comfort, only moving when forced to. And you’re not gonna. So. . .
Full moon tomorrow totally lands right on me, this is a hard/good combo platter if ever there was one. Routines, stuckness, it is kinda time. Fingers crossed
Good:
Rest
Ancient Aliens, or really mostly that one guy’s hair and the imaginary drinking game I made up
A lot of unpacking happened, there is a baking cabinet, hilarious gnarly bag of popcorn expiration date 1994 discovered and tossed with a bunch of other stuff, there is a shelf completely devoted to all the coconut things: oil, manna, flakes, milk, shredded. There is actually so much storage space, it is amazing. Car is unpacked. Last moving thing is scheduled.
My space is beautiful, cozy, organized, so there’s that.
Um, the DVR is easy? I can’t believe I thought it was hard like the VCR (1994! fractal flower with the gnarly popcorn?) which is the last time I tried to program anything
Sovereignty around this one kind of hard communication was totally fine
What worked:
Rest.
Taurus/6th loves organizing cabinets and throwing out trashy crap.
Preparing/thinking about the new phase of routine, tiptoeing up to it
What I’d do differently:
Not have a temper tantrum except by myself
Not drink coffee even once even in the morning because it kept me up til 4
Find a time to turn off the iPad and not get sucked into the vortex at night
Movement? But fun and not all taskmastery. Shiva Nata on this and on the Taurus thing (aha hahahaha, this may be my secret weapon . . .)
Superpower I had: rest, patience
Next week: poof! and deep shapeshifting, with surprising ease
What worked?
*Getting out the paints
*Deciding that not caring about the crazy was an acceptable response
*Resting, instead of pushing through headaches
Next week I’ll try
*More rest!
*More victory logging
*More not caring (which monsters think make me a bad person… but I’m starting to suspect it makes me a sane person)
Hard things:
*Horrible sadness of things online – things that I know I need to not look at, but somehow slip through from time to time and then I feel all ostrichy for not looking, until I remember that I do what I can, and if I do more than I can, then I can’t do anything.
Good things
*Fun, wonderful synchronicity of timing for a Secret Op.
*This week had so many pockets of spaciousness.
Superpower for next week
*the super power of Of Course There’s Time for a Nap!
Seagirl – the cat! Just remembering the hiding kitten, and that can’t have been a year!
To all chickeneers – rest and easy and comfort!
The Hard:
– Sunday was the absolute limit of what I can handle people-staying-with-me-wise, and I had a huge breakdown. And yet, still had to deal with people all day Monday and Tuesday. Leading to an even bigger breakdown.
– I want this on my dammit list: if I am at the absolute limit, then whatever has pushed me there stops then. Not two days later.
– The thing where people help in order to deal with their own anxiety, and the gifts they’re giving don’t line up with what you’re actually needing. And how much stuff I have about this.
– I hate confrontations. And I’m learning a lot about that – not in an easy way.
– If one more person: a.)goes through my garbage (“did you mean to throw out this stained pair of underwear with holes all over it?”), b.)moves something of mine without asking, c.)tells me I should be doing something differently… Each of those things alone is a huge trigger for me. Having them happen over and over again for two weeks straight? Not fun.
– People were supposed to leave Tuesday but a car accident (no one hurt – just a car needing repairs) meant they were here until this morning. I’ve had people here since the Sunday *before* last. This is unacceptable.
– Seems like there’s just no way for my needs *and* other people’s needs to be met. Several people calling me crying because they so desperately need me to do [thing I absolutely positively can’t do without hurting myself].
– Basically, I’m learning a lot about boundaries, and how difficult it is for me to have them.
The Good:
– They’re gone! And after today the contractor doesn’t have to be in the house to do his work and yay.
– I really like painting. Which is good, because it’s pretty much my full-time job at the moment.
– So many shades of purple! And this time we chose correctly.
– I love my daughter; she’s the best. My husband is also the best.
– Our washer and dryer are amazing and I can do laundry every day and it makes everything one thousand times better.
– Can I just say again: they’re gone! Finally everyone is gone!
Superpower for next week:
I respect my need for space.
Hallooo Hallay Chickeneers!
Greetings and salutations.
ooh… the napping… I truly MUST seek the NAP.
ooh scented candles burning…mmmm…thank you Kathleen.
What worked?
Doing the thing that felt right so I wouldn’t feel guilty later.
Doing my bestest for this situation.
And then… letting it go…. up up and away and finding the answer back from the Universe mucho delish.
Next time I might…
Not worry so. Trust in my knowing.
The hard:
– holy COLDness. It was down to -39C and -40C for a few days running.
– M’s ankle still so sore.
– The Hairy Faced Kid is still feeling oogy. Poor dawg.
– Jiggle-jaggle of sadness for not landing a p/t job at the library. I would so love to work at a library… I think. And the dough would soothe… but… it is all unfolding as it should.
The good:
+ feeling like it really IS all unfolding as it should.
+ beginning to trust that all will be well.
+ getting to meet a few very interesting women when I went for the job interview. Though I didn’t get the gig, I enjoyed meeting the women at the Learning Centre and chatting a bit with the lovely head librarian.
+ walking out on the river after the cold spell. So lovely. So quiet. So good to move move move and breathe breathe breathe in the peace of it all.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week:
+ Operation Giddy-up
+ The wave your hands in the air Mission
WHAM BOOM DONERSVILLE and on to greener pastures!
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
Strength. Strength to carry wood and pump water in the cold cold world.
And a superpower I want next week.
This napping… yes… I want the super power of finding rest…
of finding quiet…
of closing eyes…
yes.
Happy week ends to all!
go easy -p
I’m going to just follow your format because by now, my tracking is a bit off kilter.
What worked?
Acceptance and Persistence.
Getting a few things done as the hurricane clattered on.
The acceptance part was more of a merry-go-round.
Agree with one thing a day –
I did get a couple of major things done in spite of how far down
the rabit hole I managed to go.
Coming to some conclusions that aren’t yet firmly concluded (and may never be) but are getting there. The evidence is there, already.
Next Time I Might –
Lose myself in a book more often. That solved more things for me as a child and a teenager.
Throw some sort of pleasant monkey wrench into these spells and it will be the equivalent of Chrissy Hyndes’ “mystery achievement.” Every day, in fact….
The Hard ;
.Lots of hard this week and then some.
. Thoughts of assclowns I’ve known, loved, and that have dropped into my
published thoughts on villan disordered characters.
. No energy, The unreal unraveled a bit, though I put it back to together again.
. Not really anywhere in the present, past, or future. Sort of all there at once in each intensity.
. Social networking paranoia.
. staying away from it.
.Unable to practice yoga. not for four days and only one day last week. No wonder.
The Good:
Knowing I need to stay away from it and have started to again.
At least getting the ball rolling forward though my mind is all over the place
again.
Knowing yoga will get and keep me sane again, for lack of a better word.
Giving up on some bad ideas. Digging in at the dried shoe gum.
Got to Voc Rehab finally. Not so bad.
That I can get back on my mat – grace and gratitude
Social networking has been keeping me writing and examining
my thoughts and mindsets about things – the new agers are part of
my FB circle.
Some of it is good and other parts of it drive me nuts but I can laugh about it too.
Had a hall of mirrors too and made the decision to just step back a bit from all mirrors for now.
Superpowers –
Stayin’ alive. Stayin’ alive.
Special Medicine.
Superpower I want next week:
The conductress back in full force going the flow
and precious wholeness.
My word for 2013 is Presence, and I have mostly been NOT Present for my life this week.
I came back from my travels a week ago, and this whole week I have done nearly nothing. No. Thing. Not-a-blinking-thing. Except read books on my Kindle and take naps.
I didn’t Exit the traveling and Enter life at home.
I haven’t called anyone since we’ve been back, except the furnace guy because the furnace wasn’t keeping up. The only friendly face I saw was the Butler when he came to clean. The big suitcase full of dirty clothes is still in the back of the car.
I need to come up with a re-entry ritual. A retroactive one?
The hard:
Every time I thought of doing the necessary things to return to Life At Home, I had to take a nap.
The River is too easy to spend time on and too hard to get away from (Claire’s big soft squishy chair!)
The good:
I am home and I love my home.
Also I finally un-decked the halls (WHAM Boom!). And rearranged the living room into its winter configuration.
Next week, I resume teaching at the community college, so there’s that to look forward to.
I think I had the Superpower of Disconnection all week.
Next week I want the superpower of Doing All Things With Ease and Grace.
Cheers, Chickeneers!
What worked:
+Time containers!
+Avoiding avoiding
Next time:
+More flailing
The Hard:
-Feeling stretched and trying to keep up with the requests
-Not completing all the works
The Yay:
+Beginning the Quest for Inner Gold
+Receiving the Quest for Sekkrit Maps
+Epiphanies! By the handfuls!
+Class on Time! Woo! (and finding a city-mate in the chattery transcript – how fun!)
+Permission slips
+Hello 2013, I’m ready to dance now
Magical Talent I had this week: Finding good enough words at the right time
Magical talents I’d like for next week: Dancing with Time and Remembering How to Rest
Hello and cluck!
what worked this week:
-making chunks of PuppyTime and sticking to that. very effective, alos designated NoPuupy days.
-Exiting the Day! in bed by 9:30 with tea, lights out in an hour
-sitting down after the kids went to ebd and journaling
next weeK:
-setting aside this or that time, in a Qunaitiable Amount, and sticking to it.
-exiting every night
the hard:
-lots of work at work, which is good, but i’m not as persistant as i could be, too much avoidance. alarming!
-tonite came home to husband doing X&Y, which i hate, and he knows i hate and he wont stop or cop to what he’s doing and it makes me fel like he’d playing me for a fucing fool
-hatign the way it mkes me feel. hating the senss it spells DOOM for our marriage. hating him, quite simply.
-losing my shit at the kids and yellign at them all week. it was a bad week for yelling
the good:
-pink asters!
-due to the SuperPower of Asking for what I want, i got 3 hours at home without either child on sunday. omg.
-so i promptly stopped all hoiusework and MAde Art and listened to Jazz a St germain and felt for a brief shining moment like I never moved to Bolivia.
-getting lots done at work and getting pats on the back
-i looked good this week!
-landmark forum. oh my god how hard !!!!!! how long! all day, with stangers in chairs. but i am committed, i didnt even leave for the abthroom during sessions. i am committed to the thing.
-despite being really angry right now X&Y (see above) thanks to the Forum today, i have a whole way to interact with this thing that has the possibility (aha!) of so many things trasnforming, including the icky way i feel. and wow, how nice is that.
-the SuperPowr of Nothing is Wrong Actually came to my aid often
My best Chicken salute to all!
This week felt both slow and incredibly rushed. I’m used to the latter, but not used to the former. Huh. Interesting—I’ll put the internal scientists on it right away.
What worked:
• Setting things up for Incoming Me. She really appreciated that, and lots more sparkly completion happened as a result.
• Making little time containers for everything. Almost everything spilled out beyond its individual container a bit, but it really helped just to *have* them.
• Changing my space really did change my luck.
• Taking the time to write it all down, even if I thought I knew it already.
• What’s true? What else is true?
Next time I might:
• Look for more ways to find the fun, rather than just hearing the sound of beating Doom Drums.
• Set even more things up! Like Bill and Ted! (“Trash can! Remember the trash can!”)
The Hard:
• The Day of Everything Familiar Has Changed. That jarring feeling happened over, and over, and over again. All day.
• Trying to explain that feeling to someone close to me, and receiving “So what? Stuff changes? Why are you so upset about it?” in response.
• Being visibly upset, which triggered stuff in the person who witnessed it, who then said, “Stop being upset! Calm down!” Which brought up more of my stuff, to which I responded by becoming more upset, etc. etc.
• Everything taking longer than I planned it to. Every. Thing.
• Still not done. No WHAM-BOOM for me.
• The “You’re Still Not Done?!?!?” police came a-bangin’ on my door again. I wish this were a metaphor, but it ain’t.
• Twelve days until the Great Escape! Ack!
• The You-Must-Do-All-the-Things and There’s-No-Time monsters are practically having a bacchanalia over this.
• External demands, and no time to process them ahead of time.
The Good:
• Twelve days until the Great Escape!
• Wham-boom is imminent. I can feel it. Hell, I have empirical evidence! Take that, monsters!
• Small Wham-booms along the way to the big one yet to come.
• Little epiphanies. Lots of them. Niiiiiice.
• Many of the epiphanies had to do with SPACE and PLACE. Huge things for the Book of Me.
• Drawing! I spent some serious quality sketchbook time. Which, incidentally, also counted as setting things up for Incoming Me. Interesting, that!
• Squeaked in a lil’ unscheduled face time with my Playmate. Who, predictably, made EVERYTHING better.
• Appreciating Past Me! Thank you, lady!
Superpowers I Had:
• The superpower of Knowing the Smartest Way to Go.
• The superpower of Look How Far I’ve Come!
Superpowers I’d Like to Invoke Next Week:
• The superpower of Hey, Look What I Found!
• The superpower of Just Enough Energy When I Need It.
Happy chickening, everyone!
Oh yeah, another good I remembered from this week which I had to share…
My three year old nephew from New York visited one of our hundreds of deserted, beautiful, sparkling, sandy blue beaches. They stripped off, walked out towards the water and he looked around and said to his parents…
Emm.
Oh.
Gee.
Ha!
I LOVE THIS. I am officially meming this.
M.O.G.
It’s funny every time. LOVE!!
My only piece of chicken is to say this: I am getting a sock bowl!
Cheers, Chickeneers!
Oh what a wonderful week! I suppose this is how life can be when I take good care of myself and plant time for future me. I compassed several times and I think it is a brilliant technique!
The Hard
– people trying to dump work on me at the last minute
The Good
– seeing the Van Gogh exhibit in its last weekend in Denver
– being sovereign and saying no to last-minute work dumping
– my talk at the Denver Federal Reserve Bank to Jump$tart teachers kicked ass
– both of the face-to-face classes I’m teaching have engaged students
Chicken
Super late Chicken this week. My best to all Chickeneers!
The Hard:
Week 2 of being sick, complete with laryngitis and relentless cough which made me a public spectacle against my will.
Super cold weather not helping.
Not enough exercise due to 1 and 2 above, therefore not very much sleep.
Falling prey to the illusion that other people have somehow intrinsically easier/better lives than mine, when experience shows me that is not true.
The Good:
Wising up about being sick and doing some things differently helped a lot.
Voice is about 90% restored at this point,
C finally got a job and I was able to help. After 6 years I feel my responsibility is complete there. I learned a lot but it also cost me a lot, let’s balance the books and call it a day.
No voice means lots of short meetings at work, hee hee.
Feel I am finally starting to be able to leave the past behind. What that means is that I am in sort of an emotional winter, everything bare and quiet, waiting for the green shoots.
I can still do good things for my husband, and kittens, and Future Me.
And that ain’t bad at all.