Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

I need to express some excitement before we begin.

I just realized. Next Friday is exactly TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHICKENS, you guys.

And this weekend will also be the 200th Very Personal Ads, aka Visions of Possibility and Anticipation.

We celebrate 250 weeks and 200 weeks in the same week! That’s a lot of consecutive weeks to do anything. And I would never do it if you weren’t here to read and play, so thank you. Thank you for shared space and shared ritual. It means a lot to be doing it with you.

Okay. Chicken. Let’s play.

What worked?

Looking for a diamond.

I was chaperoning prom (long story, and — weirdly — not a proxy, an actual thing that I did).

And my secret mission cover story while I was at prom (see, I was really at prom, but I still had a proxy), was that I was there because of a diamond caper.

I was there as Bond Girl, of course — the Woman In The Red Dress — and I was supposed to locate the giant diamond.

Needless to say, I didn’t locate a giant diamond. So I came up with various entertaining metaphorical ways that I had in fact located the diamond. And this was great.

Except then the next day I walked past the place where prom was held. Let’s add to this that I walk there not exactly often but not that infrequently either.

Looking up at the sign for the building I saw the something I have never noticed before.

The name of the building where prom (and other wonderful things in my past) happened is printed on the backdrop of…yes…a giant ****-ing diamond.

Following the wells.

Taking it to the park.

Asking for help.

Yes.

Next time I might…

Ask more, sooner, and out loud.

Look up! Or: look at things I think I’ve already looked at.

The mysteries. Things I found challenging and hard.

• Recovery takes as much time as it wants to, doesn’t it.
• Prom was challenging for me. It was located in a place where I have history. Teenagers are super not in their force fields. I was exhausted from having just come off of [verb]-ing Rally while sick. And: I learned a lot.
• The mystery of falling apart Sunday morning.
• The Pipedream Monsters (mobsters!) were even louder this week. This was fortunate because our subsequent negotiations lead to two big and important reconfigurations in my life. But man, they know where it hurts, and they press right there.
• Deep grief over loss and perceived loss, reconfigurations, changes.
• Oh man. Drama. Getting a piece of intel I didn’t want but felt obligated to act on as it concerned someone I dearly love. Much distress over this until I got an answer that worked for me.
• Getting tickled, by someone who does not know how I feel about tickling. I hate being tickled more than just about anything in the world.
• Possibly related: a hijacking by a small scared Havi who wants me to think that now is like then, when now is not like then.
• Making the hardest decision to give something up that I have spent many years working towards.
• Many, many buckets of tears this week.

Things I found delightful.

• Long happy playtime with playmate in a brand new treehouse.
• Falling apart turned out to be the exact right thing.
• The elusive M. LeBlanc of the Other Agency left an outrageous clue that was fun to follow.
• My two Days of Disappearing on a mission…
• Diamonds were not found, then symbolically found, then actually located. Also a fountain.
• The unexpected thing. It’s deep and unnerving and I love it.
• A sweet dream about someone in my family was followed by a sweet postcard from that person.
• Agent Wally and I refilled my heart with trust, and this was its own mission.
• Seriously everyone in my life is used to speaking in code now.
• Accidental L”g B’omer.
• It seemed like everything was wrong but actually: Nothing is wrong!
• Best Regrounding ever, in a secret oasis.
• This video, which I could watch a hundred times a day.
• Lucky nickel of surprises. (Not a band!)
• Reacted to the tickling better than ever before. Minimal screaming. I did not cause physical damage to the person involved nor break furniture or objects. I was able to explain my distress. Relative to past meltdowns, this was tiny, not massive. Points!
• Nothing is broken, nothing is broken I am allowed to grieve. And: this is right.
• Agents with Agency! New intel from HQ about why this is all happening and what needs to be done about it.
• Plum Duff! It’s Plum Duff. Right now. This is very exciting.
• Amazing epiphanies and results from last week’s Rally (Rally!) are still landing hard. My. God.
• The wonderful win of the Green Machine. Yeah, okay, Champions League was all over the place this week. Halbfinale! Craziness. All that. But let’s talk about the Green Machine, a badass band of 8 year olds, beating the Timbers 10-9.

WHAM BOOM! Operations completed:

The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom. You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.

Many ops were completed this week but the most important ones were: Operation Succinctness. and Operation Order the Sh.

Wham boom! Wham boom!

Miracles.

A letter that arrived about how helpful this work is just when I needed most to remember why I do this.

Superpowers.

Superpowers I had this week…

Gorgeous hair that does exactly what looks perfect with zero effort, styling, product or input of any kind from me.

This happens maybe once a year for oh, five minutes. I had this power from Saturday afternoon through Monday night. THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

And for next week…

Easy transitions.

The Freudian Typo (or autocorrect) Award.

“I’m the flesh” instead of “in the flesh.

It is true.

Salve. Yours if you want it.

This week’s salve is the salve of the fruits from the invisible seeds are on their way, also known as the salve of comfort and trust. Trust in comfort. Take comfort in trust. It has the faintest smell of springtime.

These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band thanks to a sign I misread this week.

They’re called…

Automatic Sprinkles.

They’re a little punk, a little metal, and they go all night.

Though as it turns out, it’s just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Picture me wearing that crazy hat…

PLUM DUFF!

You guys, it is Plum Duff until TOOZDAY, and this means that we have a crazy sale happening.

You can get the magical makes-everything-better and not-otherwise-available buttmonster coloring book.

You can save $900 to $1000 on any 2014 Rally.

This is big.

Also there are toys to squeeze. Plum duff plum duff plum duff plum duff!

Go to the Plum Duff page and enter the password: refuge

That’s it for me …

Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!

We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.