Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Oh I am the funniest.
But on to Friday.
Because yay, it’s Friday.
Finally!
The hard stuff
Too much to do. Again!
Starting to think this might be an existential thing and not something I can actually do anything about.
Ugh. Depressing. I mean, liberating. But also depressing.
I am resistance mouse.
Resisting everything. Fighting what is good for me, even when I already know that fighting isn’t what I want.
It’s lovely.
Tax stuff. And related stucknesses.
Grrr.
Headache.
And shekels. I can’t stop translating into shekels.
$39,738. That’s how much money my business spent this year on outside help.
That is the administrative cost of my arms not working plus email sabbatical.
I’m not saying it wasn’t worth it. But ohmygod.
For perspective? In 2008 that number was $5,870.
I know that technically this could go in the good section, because yay that didn’t destroy my business and we were able to handle it and everything is okay, but right now I’m kind of wanting to throw up.
See, I still translate dollars into shekels (not the best habit in the world). And that’s like a hundred and fifty thousand shekels.
Okay. When I was working overtime, pulling shifts at two bars, around the clock, I made about forty four thousand shekels. For the year.
The whole thing. Screws with my head. I want to run away.
Things moving way too fast.
Like how is it even Friday?
How did I not make progress on so many things that are wanting progresses?
That seriously makes no sense.
The good stuff
Chickens and Iguanas and good.
I have been doing the iguanaccountability thing all week and it is awesome.
Zoom! Getting stuff done!
And the most amazing thing happened (related).
There was a day of hard with trucks and noisy machinery outside so I ran away to a cafe to do some Things I Was Having Trouble Doing.
But the cafe didn’t have internets so I couldn’t use the Deguiltified Chicken Iguana Board at the Kitchen Table.
So I pretended the board lived on my computer and opened a text document and wrote to the Table mice about my hard and my plan and how long I was going to work on what.
And then I worked on what I needed to work on and every 20 minutes I’d check in — at the top of the page — with how it was going.
And even though it was noisy, 80 minutes of uninterrupted work. Unbelievable.
Because of the chicken-iguana-ness! Even though there wasn’t really anyone there for the iguanaccountability bit. The zone! I was in it.
Help in so many forms.
Genius sessions from Hiro.
Plus her course is so amazing. And Lisa’s Love That Room course is helping too.
Shiva Nata. Rocks my world.
I’ve been having crazy mini-epiphanies from Shiva-ing it up.
The madness that is Level 7 is doing some seriously great things.
Dinner with friends.
We got to hang out with Dana the Spicy Princess and her husband Ranch Boy. And I have missed them and it was lovely.
Plus mmmm, pickles.
Basically friends + pickles = happy happy Havi.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band is:
Face Slam Society
Me (on Twitter): “The hummus-throwing brigade of Northeast Portland strikes again?”
Marissa: “See, now the Indiana Hummus-Throwing Brigade was abandoned in favor of the Ranch Dressing Dunking Society. Much to my dismay.”
Amy: I wish I could form Ranch Dressing Dunking Society: The International Chapter but there’s no ranch dressing here 🙁
Me: Ah yes, the Austrian version is probably the Sachertorte Mit Schlag Face Slam Society. Mmmmm. Face Slam.
Of course, it’s just one guy.
And … STUISMS of the week.
No Stuisms this week. Sigh. Oh, that Stu. I promise there will be plenty of them next time though.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
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So, I totally get why you kinda want to throw up re: admin costs for the year, but I just thought I should let you know that *I’m* thoroughly impressed–that you’re running a business that has enabled you to get the help you need to run the business (so holistic! or something!), that you were smart and brave enough to go and find the help when you needed it, that you’re capable of letting the help actually HELP you (hello, we haven’t met, but I’m a control freak, and not so good at the delegating!). Etc. So yeah, it’s a small bundle of money, but whatever–your business is growing, and you’re apparently creating employment for others, and clearly you’re a smart enough cookie to know what you and your business need and to make it happen. I think that’s all profoundly cool. So, many cheers for you!
OK, but 39,000 would be a starting professional’s salary in Australia. A little generous, particularly given the GFC, but not stupid. You’ve employed a person worth, or 4 person-worths if you like shekels better (economies, living standards etc are real complicated).
I can’t help thinking of fashion incubator. Her mission is to encourage entrepreneurs to start clothing businesses (in USA, especially) so the businesses can lift people/families out of poverty. http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/how-i-got-my-start-midway/ When I read this, I felt hey! you’re doing the same thing, that’s so great!
I’m sure you didn’t want a cheery ‘shoulda’ style comment but from that perspective, it brought a smile to my face.
.-= ginevra´s last post … Simple, simple Christmas decorations =-.
Right…apologies for making you cry – I don’t get the trombones. Unless it’s to do with Austria, in which case… yeah. Or blowing your own trombone as opposed to trumpet. I think that could be worked with.
But then it’s 8:30 in the morning and I’m going to unashamedly use that as my excuse.
Hugs for the hardness. Sucks. Even though there are all the even thoughs.
Right onto my chicken:
The Hard
+There is still sooooo much of this around at the moment.
+Work – it’s still creating much, much resistance in me. And anxiety and panic and all sorts. And… it’s such hard work – physically I mean. Sore back muscles – often. Mostly work has taken over my life and that’s all I’m seeing at the moment, which is seriously sucky.
+Being woken up after just 6 hours sleep on Wednesday because of bloody snow and the whole world panicking about it. That’s severe sleep deprivation for me at the moment and I spent the day feeling like the most tender petal alive…and at work, alone because we had no people in because of the snow.
+Soreness in the tummy area. Which is totally supposed to not exist anymore due to being finally diagnosed as Coeliac and therefore following a gluten free diet. But no… it appears my state of mind has other ideas about that. So balloon tummy.
The Good:
+ I made a knish! Hurrah – it was indeed a most delicious dish. And I walked around saying Knish inna Dish all day which was undoubtedly Dr Seuss annoying for some people.
+ A huge box of samples arrived from Glutafin so i have been experimenting like made with delicious food and remembering that I can actually have it, provided *I* make it.
+ Some normal evenings – where I got home at a normal time like a normal person who works normal hours. How liberating.
+ Mini epiphanies. Tis the season I think. Many, many and most being sparked by the sucky job. So it has its uses.
+New books – hurrah for new books.
So there we have it. Happy Friday
.-= Wormy´s last post … In Praise of the Negative =-.
It took some googling, but yes, I get the title. Yay!
This week: lots of hard on the dissertation. This will probably be my standard line for the next three months. At least. Fighting it ’till the end.
The good was not good enough to remember. Still, no bad feelings about the past week. Strange.
Have a great weekend!
Trombones? Nope, don’t get it.
My hard: so this was the week I realised my “backpain thingy” isn’t going anywhere and is a Serious Thing and I need to Address It.
So I wrote it a letter. And that was kinda fun, and good, but I’m still worried. What if this takes another 4 weeks to clear? I can’t DO anything! Am I going to have to take time off work?
I feel bored with my book. My precious project. I just don’t feel any love for it right now. It’s taking so long! I don’t wanna work on it anymore. *sigh*
Good stuff: having great fun with Shiva Nata. And there are so many shivanauts blogging now! I’m getting too good at level 2 though. And level 3 still scares me. Waaah!
I made a plan for this year, AND reviewed last year, AND it wasn’t even scary or depressing anymore. Thanks to Communicatrix and Lisa Sonora Beam. Was surprised at what my real goals turned out to be.
I also joined the little gym in my office. Doing my special back yoga after warming up with Shiva Nata. For some reason, I don’t even care about being the weird person in the gym anymore. I’m not sure the classic rock soundtrack works for me though. Have you ever tried Shiva Nata to “Eye of the Tiger”? It’s interesting, I’ll say that.
Love to all your chickens. <3
.-= Willie Hewes´s last post … Love Letter to my Back Pain =-.
Trombone – meaning large trumpet – aka big fart? Yes? No? Too basic?
.-= Wormy´s last post … In Praise of the Negative =-.
Just go to YouTube and search for 79 trombones. :o)
76, that is. Sorry, it’s Friday y’all.
I missed the trombones, too. Que?
Chicken!
The hard:
Friend with cancer. Nuff said.
The mystery of the disappearing time. Seriously, my time has fallen down some kind of sink hole this week. I don’t know where it went. I feel like I haven’t got *anything* done.
Client not paying me money, and all the fretting that goes with it.
The good:
Client eventually paying said money, and me discovering my boundaries a little along the way.
Three different clients really, really liking what I did for them. Happy clients, happy Kate.
Two possible new clients who are lovely people doing deeply cool things.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!
Oh dear, how come it’s Friday already? And mid-January already?
Try converting to Euros which makes the number a bit less scary than shekels: 27625.
I will be in Salzburg either next week or in February and will have an extra slice of Sachertorte mit Schlag for you.
The hard this week:
– Some small panick attacks about job situation
– Waiting impatiently for a reply to a job ad
– Made a list of 7 things I wanted to get done this week and just realized that 5 are still missing
– Time flies by too fast
The good:
– Found a job ad that “spoke” to me (and the woman who advertised the job seems to have a toy crocodile among her office crew. I have to get the job so that I can get the croc in touch with Selma. Selma, keep your feet crossed for me!)
– Birthday present for husband was a success
– Still doing lots of Yin Yoga with Paul Grilley’s DVD, my hips love it
– Going to a ballet show tonight
@Havi, I totally got the title without having to google it or anything. And now I’m singing it. So no need to cry!
@Willie, “Eye of the Tiger”?! That made my day. And I may have to try it.
This week’s hard:
– having missed the chicken and some other rituals last week and feeling all discombobulated, which is fun to say and not fun to be.
– day job made me truly, deeply understand the phrase “bored to tears”.
– a nice heapin’ helping of self-doubt kept me company throughout the week.
The good:
– soul-crushingly boring assignment is done, the sun is out, and my entire house now smells like coconut cake.
– self-doubt got dissolved by shifting around some important things. Hooray.
– had an awesome dream that introduced me to a big stuckness (it’s a soundproof, shatterproof glass wall – interesting). So now I can attempt to converse with it.
Wishing you all a great weekend, and… coconut cake.
Am currently humming 76 trombones in the big parade and resisting the urge to google for the rest of the lyrics! Such an ear worm!
The hard:
-Too much ice, snow and cold in London. This sort of thing was fine when I lived in Scotland & expected it but I’ve got rid of all my really warm clothes now. Grrr
-Staying in too much – icy pavements that are never cleared or gritted. The people here have no idea how to cope with a bit of snow.
-Great big stuckiness around writing, or will I never learn that setting up systems to nag me = best way ever to get me refusing to do stuff!
The good:
-Cosy, winter feelings. I found one of my ancient jumpers and spent days snuggled up in it!
-Woolly socks and new slippers. Bliss. Warm feet help me to work! Who knew?
-Lots of lovely birds in my garden.
-Projects that finally got finished because I’d no distractions.
-It thawed 🙂
.-= LindaH´s last post … =-.
Ahhhh, 76 Trombones… now I am wiser. Ah I am wishing for a golden age where hats are back in and everyone wears one.
.-= Wormy´s last post … In Praise of the Negative =-.
The hard:
-Relationship earthquake.
-Real earthquake in Haiti, how eminently capable I am of ignoring the suffering of others until maybe when a crisis looms I’ll chip in a little something and then go back to whatever else I was doing, instead of allowing my heart to be broken by the news every day.
The good:
-hours before my discovery of the first hard, winning an award for innovation at the corporate job where I thought I wasn’t actually doing anything really creative with like-minded people, only to find out I had been doing that very such thing all along
-loads of compassion for others, like my lack of food and sleep and a convenient narrative of my relationship have stripped me bare of some of the detritus, leaving me available to help a blind lady pick out some orange juice, talk to the deli guy about his cheating girlfriend, to the UPS man about dogs (“They’re like people, man. They can turn on you.”)
-amazing posse of people to be with me, to bring me broth and help me grieve and rage, all of whom are themselves broken people in lots of ways, which means that being perfect is not a requirement
.-= Shannon´s last post … The Art of Non-Conformity » “I’ve Just Been So Busy Lately” =-.
I am loving the idea of DIY Deguiltified Chicken Board, esp since the stars didn’t align for me to be at the Kitchen Table this year and I really needed someone this week on several occasions.
This is the week that was:
Hard:
Not getting into the studio, even though I am feeling the desire to make some visual images. I’m wanting to make some big pieces, and I know I don’t have the yardage to support big monochromatic work, so I’ve just been avoiding going up there.
I got my first shoe at my blog on Wednesday. I went through a whole process before deciding to delete the comment.
Fragmented days leading to minimal work getting done. Especially yesterday. I finally gave up and just went with it, because I had no other choice.
Good:
500 Art Quilts arrived at the house yesterday. It’s supposed to be shipping for orders by the end of the month. My work looks gorgeous and I am so thrilled to be part of the kind of book I used to drool over and wish my work was in. 😀
We went on the Fenton Art Glass tour on Monday when delivering art in the area. We saw chickens being made (had to stick that one in because it is the Chicken after all).
I took the shoe and made lemonade, turning it into a post about how I used NVC to process the comment and my reaction to it.
Shiva Nata to the “Love” version of “Octopus’ Garden” with my Izzy. We both were giggling madly by the end of the song.
Izzy coming up to me and asking to go through Dance of Shiva with him earlier that day because he was angry and wanted to not be angry any more (!)
The snow melted and sidewalks dried enough for me to wear my pinstripe slacks with the cool steampunky zippers on the pockets. Little things. 😉
And I printed out my NaNo manuscript and now have 170 pages of *my* prose to play with (very excited about it).
Oh, and I took Ben to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus on Wednesday. Such a gorgeous film, beautiful costumes and imagery. Some plot issues, but for me the visuals were more than worth the price of admission.
Trombones indeed!
.-= Andi´s last post … NVC in Practice =-.
I now have an earworm of that song, thank you, Havi 🙂
So! This week, the hard:
– still struggling with the procrastinating & the reading stuff online instead of doing my own stuff.
– unexpected work coming up today when I thought I was going to get the day off.
The good:
– today’s work is a Good Thing for professional development &c.
– I was *going* to go climbing today, but when I found out last-minute yesterday that I would be working instead, I was able to make a v quick decision to drop what I was doing and go up to the climbing centre right away & get in 90 min or so of bouldering. From phone call to leaving house: 10 min. This is very very good for me! Normally I’d have procrastinated about it for ages & then not had time to go after all.
– Both lots of climbing I did this week went really well. I am actually getting better at this!
– Just spent a while working out what’s happening with the story I’m working on right now, and am feeling a lot more settled with it now, and ready to get going with some rewrites and then the next scene.
– It’s my birthday today! And I got birthday presents from both partners this morning, and then 3 things I ordered showed up in the post, including the Shiva Nata DVD. Score 🙂
– Really lovely evening with one of my partners yesterday, including random stopoff on the way home for a glass of fizz at the NFT bar 🙂
Hm, actually it turns out that there is quite a lot of good in this week. (So why am I feeling the hard/down stuff more, I wonder? Interesting!)
.-= Juliet´s last post … Climbing, socks, links, sealing-wax (not all contents may feature in post) =-.
Totally got the post title. Not immediately, but once you said you were funny I looked and I got it. References to musicals! Esp. ones that I love! This place just gets better and better. 🙂
I am going to chicken for the 2nd week in a row. I’m pretty excited about it.
Hard stuff (so much less of it this week):
– ongoing feelings of upset and hurt and not being able to trust my sweetie on the heels of last week’s hard
– several days spent on cleansing that I wanted to spend Doing Other Stuff
– a little healing crisis leaving me with a sore snout, even though I use nice soft flannel hankies
– a big case of self-doubt (the everything-I-write-is-useless flavor)
Good stuff (so much more of it this week):
– help from my teacher re: cleansing and re: why my sweetie did what he did
– working together as a team with sweetie to accomplish our goal of nice decontaminated bedroom
– cleansing feeling like it Totally Worked
– seeing my chiropractor (twice!)
– getting Big Wonderful Ideas about creating supportive structure for myself (thank you, Hiro!)
– weaving
– getting the wireless network to work in our house
– being introduced to a cool new friend by a cool old friend
– getting to offer help to 3 different friends re: 3 different things (writing, planning and time/organizing stuff). Super Fun.
– chickening. I like it.
Thank you, Havi, and everyone for the chance to get all that off my chest. Phew!
.-= Darcy´s last post … Day 75: I’d rather be cuddling =-.
76 trombones! Hee! (And yes, I got it w/o reading the comments first)
I keep wanting to try to do a Chicken. I like the idea of it. But every time I try, here or on my own blog, it devolves into 96% hard and 4% good, which just doesn’t help anything.
This week really was 96% hard and 4% good, so, ugh. But I woke up with an Idea, so I’m hoping that proportion changes today.
.-= Heather Freeman´s last post … Art like mine =-.
Seriously, will I be learning something new every time I visit? No idea about the musicals, but now I do.
The Hard:
The dentist and my (not-so) irrational fear. The false sense of “look how well this is going” – letting my guard down for a moment…. and OUCH! the spot without enough numbness.
The good news is that once they shot me again, I was numb until I went to bed.
The bad news is that once they shot me again, I was numb until I went to bed. All the way up to my eye. And now that the numbness has worn off, my jaw is sore. Like someone punched me in it.
My shoulder discomfort… dare I say pain? My shoulder issue has returned in full force. Teacher recommended full-on resting it. You know, until it feels better. Hmmm, how will I do my daily yoga without my shoulder? Maybe just finally put downward facing dog to rest?
Training schedule for half marathon scared me. Made me doubt my abilities before I even started. Plus my ego is a bit out of joint because in the spirit of self care I signed up for the walking group instead of a running group.
Worried I may have over scheduled myself and I’ll have to seriously watch myself over the next 2 months so I don’t get too freaked out.
The GOOD:
Supraspinatus – is the awesome name of my ouchy shoulder muscle. New yoga teacher has an ouchy one of these too and told me it was ok to rest it until it feels better. Permission granted for NO MORE DOG.
Much more traffic and comments on the blog. Feeling love and support!
Daily yoga really is my self care. Even if you can’t do downward facing dog until your shoulder feels better.
My class is still holding it together and working really hard. Two of my students had huge improvement on their math tests this week! Many of my students did well and only a few are really still not getting it.
I have been asked by high up mucky mucks to demonstrate a series of reading lessons because my class has done so well. I love being recognized when my class does well.
.-= Tami´s last post … Yoga+Music365 (day15) – Townes by Steve Earle =-.
Can I just add, since it is a chicken: “Pick a little talk a little pick a little talk a little cheep cheep cheep talk a lot pick a little more.”
Ahem
Hard:
-work stuck still…sigh
-fear of looking at things I want to be creating
-health worries rearing back up even though I KNOW they’re nothing
-when did a tornado hit my house? oh wait, that must be the toddler effect
Good:
-huge big realizations about the things I want to be creating. the angel of fiction is talking to me. cool.
-amazingly creative people. and I get to talk to them. and they’re amazing. and creative. and they inspire my own amazing and creative. and just wow!
-the toddler also still loves to hug. and play hide and seek. and i love hugs and hide and seek. preferably simultaneous.
.-= Emily´s last post … Journaling Reflections =-.
hi all,
hi ho for the Chickeneers.
Feels like the whole world is in The Hard. Thoughts and love for Haiti. Puts all the Hard into perspective.
So i am going to concentrate on The Good
we celebrated Wifey’s birthday with sledging (on snow down hills, not saying mean things to each other, cricket fans) and then a ginormous Sunday lunch. She liked the pressies I bought her.
I thought about planning, not plans 😉
The snow disrupted work again but the view was beautiful.
peaceful weekend everyone!
xx
Oh, Havi, big hugs for the hard stuff this week…Hugs for everyone’s difficult stuff this week. And celebrations of the good.
Hard and good this week:
My friend P. K. Page, celebrated Canadian poet, artist, and Renaissance woman, died at the age of 93. Just a couple of days earlier, she’d emailed me to say she was working on her next book. Blessings of safe passage for her brilliant soul. The light she brought to the world lives in her family and friends, her dozens of books and works of art, and in the many lives she’s touched with her intelligence, kindness and creative heart.
Haiti. The immensity of suffering there. The hearts that are responding to it.
Good this week:
The amazing women in my class, the depth of their commitment to be who they are, to cultivate their gifts and to be the light in the world. I’m so grateful to hang out with them.
Getting ready to go to Havi’s retreat in California next week! Singing with delight about this! 🙂
Dinner and a lovely, long conversation with my youngest son. Beautiful young man who lifts my heart and leaves me smiling.
Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!
Love, HIro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Talkity-talk-talk: The Powers and Perils of Communication =-.
Yep even after googling the 76 Trombones thing and
wastingwatching 10 minutes of video, still scratching my head…but then hey I miss more than half the jokes Havi makes and I still like her…so there.The Hard
– unnecessary stressing and worrying and harsh words to self in the midst of uncertainty and fear
– trying very hard to make a decision
The Good
– giving myself ALL the choices for the decision and making a decision that on the outside looks like no decision or put another way – trusting that what happens is for the best good of all concerned
– the fear becoming courage
– taking on the Mikelann Valterra Stop Underbilling Challenge Big thanks to Havi for tuning me into her
– actually being given the opportunity to follow through immediately on the challenge and doing it
– the abundance of flamingos, salmon, ducks, geese and shrimp, shrimps? in my dream last night
And I think I’d really enjoy hearing Face Slam Society live…
.-= LaShae “ItyBytes” Dorsey´s last post … Go On..Ring That Bell | Random Notes From The Desk #31 =-.
I [heart] chickens. They are fluffy and warm and nice to pet.
What?
Oh. Well:
The hard:
-not much liking the new tasks at work, plus worried that since I was completely new to the whole thing, and told Them that I was, and it didn’t make sense, that they were a) going to give me only half a chance to prove that I could learn it and/or b) assume that I am too stupid to learn it fast enough to suit them.
-not much liking the new tasks at work even though I’ve got a decent handle on how to do them (and my work on round 1 did meet Their standards, so TAKE THAT self-doubt, you knew that wasn’t likely! and I told you so)
-my significant other asked a perfectly reasonable question that hit one of my insecurities that both predates my SO and has been exacerbated by living together and has not been fixed. And there was grumpy (but polite! mostly) email and I/we are putting off having a longer conversation about it.
-feeling really quite extraordinarily miserable about the whole work situation (it’s not my field. it’s not the kind of work I like doing. it pays the bills and the coworkers are good people) PLUS figuring out what my Thing is BUT feeling despairing of making progress towards it
The good-but-hard:
-figuring out how to do the new stuff at work and not being treated like a stupid person
-making a call related to the last point above and having an appointment for a week from now. Which is terrifying. But also good. But also makes me want to go off and cry somewhere.
The good:
-it is warmer today than yesterday!!! it will be warm all weekend!! (relatively)
-I finished making interesting things to wear to a fun event in the near future
-my SO pointed out something he was doing/thinking related to the above insecurity issue that I was unaware of, that makes me feel ever-so-slightly better (i.e. less insecure) about the whole issue
-I found a (used copy of a, which is my preference) book I have been looking for for years! AND THEN at the register it was half-off the (already low) price written inside it!!!
-And also I got a copy of NVC, and it looks like it will be very useful when I bring up the big insecurity issue with my SO. And in general.
-the Meme Beach House is getting funnier every time I read it
Cluck!
Hee! 76 trombones! Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head, except I can’t remember much of the lyrics except for 76 trombones.
Ah, Friday… Chicken!
The hard
-realizing I really really really really do not like my day job anymore. To put it mildly.
The good
+realizing that if I sell my jewelry stuff, I can use the proceeds to buy more base yarn.
+my first meditation class last night at the Zen Buddhist Temple. Yay!
+I got new glasses, and it’s easier to see now. Yay!
+realizations (epiphanies?) about my body and pain. I think my body decides to hurt as a defense mechanism to try to remove me from harmful situations.
+I decided to take a few minutes this morning to figure out how the camera on my phone worked and took two pictures of my bunnies. Bunnies!
.-= Riin´s last post … Hey! I can see! =-.
76 Trombones…is it a parade?! A song my mom used to sing?
The Hard:
My BFF’s step son dying because of an uncontrollable seizure at 19. May his next journey be smooth sailing.
The Stupid: Feeling stupid when I realized I’ve spent a major number of years searching for something vital that I already had…I just wasn’t looking in the right place. I hates The Stupid…even tho it makes me laugh.
Lostness: Having found what was NOT lost and realizing the reason I couldn’t find/name or even point toward my ‘thing’ was related to The Stupid. What stays? What goes? And how to learn who I REALLY am since I’m not what I thought I was or headed where I thought I was and now I have no map!
Anger: At The Stupid and self but also at others who don’t understand the major significance of having my reality completely rearranged who thereby increase The Stupid by not being able to support the NEW. I want chicken soup for the soul and a parade, dammit!
Fear: A whole new world.
The Good:
A whole new world! Woot!
And all of the above, but I’m not sure how yet.
.-= Wulfie´s last post … Broken People =-.
Earworm! Ahhhhh!
This week’s hard:
– I am OVER the snow. Really, really over it. It was pretty, but now I want it gone. I hate having to clean all the salt off my shoes every time I come back inside. I hate road slush splashing all over my car. Just, ugh.
– People asking for help with things I can’t help them with, then feeling guilty that I can’t help them, even though, you know, I *can’t help them.*
– Really wanting to be better about posting on my bloglike thing, but feeling really stuck for material. The daily December Best of 2009 posting was a great idea, but I totally blew it.
This week’s good:
– Four custom orders over the course of the last two weeks, and all of the customers are delighted. I even got one very gushy love note for one of the pieces that I printed out and put on my board.
– I finished a project yesterday that isn’t due until next week, so I’ve found a little pocket of time I didn’t expect to have. Now, to do something fun with it…
– A brand-new editing client that has interesting projects (stuff you can actually find on bookstore shelves) and pays decently. Finished up a really cool book for them, and in the process found some new music to love (the book was about jazz artists).
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … Best of 2009: Place =-.
The Hard:
-Sleep deprivation, and not being able to do all the things I want to do in the evenings after a long day of commuting and working.
-Feeling under the weather for over a week, off and on.
-Annoyance at still having old uni job and having to train new gal.
-Dissertation edits angst.
The Good:
+I am gainfully employed and can more than pay my bills.
+I was asked to teach a course for work, in a tropical locale. OMG!
+Feeling more challenged and interested at new job.
+Loving my home life with my boyfriend and fun pets.
+Working out and eating well this week.
+Brushing up on French during my long commutes.
Havi, have you tried those spicy pickled vegetables they sell in the pickle isle? So good. Mmm.
Ok. Chicken!
The hard:
– Husband lost his job
– I experienced several oh-my-god-now-I’m-the breadwinner-type panic attacks
– Felt subsequent extra pressure to be perfect at everything business related
– Which was especially hard since I’m just starting our with my website and twitter
The good:
– I launched my blog this week (!)
– Managed to post three times
– Met lots of awesome like-minded peeps online
– And I seem to have worked past most of my breadwinner anxiety
.-= Michelle´s last post … How to Get Started When it’s so Damn Hard =-.
76 trombones! I sing that often .. except I only know two lines so the words flail off very quickly.
I didn’t get it while I was thinking about it, but as soon as I stopped thinking about it, it clicked!
Hard:
-Just a very blah week.
-Difficult to get motivated
-I’m ambivalent about a potential opportunity
Good:
+Got a little writing done
+Had a fun night Tuesday
+Hey, an opportunity is an opportunity, right?
.-= Laura G´s last post … In which I seek a Blogging Buddy (a personal ad). =-.
I like Leocadia’s translating into euros. Or pounds are even better. I think your outsourcing number would buy about three packs of cigarettes in London. I’m going to translate all of my expenses into pounds from now on.
Usually when I feel like you are feeling with the “how can I have this much to do and be getting this little done” (which would be, um, always), I tell people to get the Destuckification Station. So if I was to give you advice, which I know I’m not allowed to do, but if I did, I guess it would be to talk to yourself. Which you do. So, I don’t know, yay or something.
This week I had a little “snick” of realization. Work when I work. Don’t-work when I am not working. I know that is stupid obvious, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t helping me enormously with the god-how-can-I-get-this-all done.
Which comes in handy, after a) early December brunch that was huge for me and p.s. I still have no VA because I’m an idiot, b) two weeks of child’s vacation, c) holidays therefore december doesn’t even count as a month, and d) getting horrendously sick to the point where I couldn’t in fact see because eyes were swollen shut. And I wonder why I’m a bit stressed.
Gah, is all I have to say about that. But things seem to be coming back to what passes for sanity around here.
.-= Sonia Simone´s last post … How To Write For Regular Readers =-.
I got the trombone thing right away (but, then, I’m old ;))
Hard: stuckness – trying to feel my way forward into an uncertain future.
Good: I still going at it, and have a few people trying to help.
.-= Sanford´s last post … Helping Haiti =-.
Yay for the title. You ARE the funniest.
And how right on as it does seem you are leading a big parade . . . rows and rows of the finest virtuosos . . . Oh, I could geek out to musical theatre metaphors all day long.
But it’s time to chicken.
The Hard:
–Tentativeness. On a lot of fronts. Tiptoeing instead of jumping. Now, I am a convert of not jumping, thanks to Havi’s brilliant post about it for a while back. So I’m trying not jumping, but it’s hard because it’s new. And different. And feels like I’m not contributing. And not producing. And a lot of other “shoulds”. So it’s a mixed hard, because it’s good to try not jumping, because it honors something deep inside. And it’s hard because it doesn’t feel like me, or the me I’ve constructed for myself.
–Not feeling grounded. Still searching for the quick fix, the pick me up, the bright shiny object that will distract me. Even though I know it doesn’t really fill me up. Still searching for it anyway. Wanting to have that deeper sense of self, of faith, of something – – something that takes a long time to develop. Working on it, but noticing how much it’s just not here yet.
–Still not back on my self care platform with regard to food and exercise. The shift has not yet happened. Trying to be gentle with myself but also holding boundaries too. Tired of being in this loop again.
The Good:
–Trying things. Reaching out. Failing and regrouping. Noticing. Examining patterns. Doing “the work”.
–Finding a couple potential collaborators. Having people reach out to me, feeling genuine connectedness and cooperation.
–The gutter got fixed. Just in time before 7 days of rain are coming. Now I won’t have Chinese Water Torture outside my window as I’m trying to sleep at night. Husband made it get fixed. I articulated my needs and he heard me and took action.
Hugs all around for the hard. High fives and more hugs for the good.
May we all be blessed with many shekels (LOVE that word) and so much more.
Apologies to everyone who didn’t
marinate in Broadway musicals for an entire lifetimeget the 76 Trombones thing. Luckily, there will never be another Chicken #76 so we’re done with that one now.@Emily – ohmygod ohmygod I cannot BELIEVE that I missed the opportunity to say pick a little talk a little pick a little talk a little cheep cheep cheep talk a lot pick a little more on my Chicken. I missed the cheeping on a chicken. Unbelievable.
@Sonia – sweetie, you just made me feel a gazillion times better. Of course, it’s only 3 packs of cigarettes in London! I. Love. You.
This is like when I started my business and I got crazy depressed because I had a business and therefore I was old, and my then-boyfriend pointed out that for a CEO I was actually really young. Whew.
Perspective. Really stupid perspective. It totally helps.
@Jay – so relieved to hear that the Meme Beach House is getting funnier. Sometimes I am convinced that it is only funny in my head.
Everyone! Hugs for the hard. Cheering for the good. General love and happinesses! Friday.
The “Trouble in River City” edition.
*sings and exits stage left* But he doesn’t know the territory!
Another amazing week! Got lots of work done, spent time with my sweetie, made lots of amazing homemade food. I am truly blessed.
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Art Inspiration Booklet for 2010 =-.
Happy Weekend!
The Good: Being sought out to write for another site.
The Bad: Compensation? What’s that?
The Hope:
1. Negotiation;
2. Women writers no longer seen or advertise themselves as volunteers;
3. Receive a just wage and then ELECT to be philanthropic.
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last post … De Sign =-.
How has this week taken so long?!
Hard:
– a little anxiety about starting my master’s degree, but I’m dealing with it
– having my train cancelled on Wednesday, so having to sit in a disgusting, ancient, mildew smelling bus that had condensation running down all of the windows and walls inside, puddles of water in the isles and delightful fellow passengers talking about stabbing people up. Ugh! And the 5 minute train journey took 30 minutes by bus.
– being a wee bit underwhelmed with my new manager
– lack of a desk in new job, but essentially they don’t pay me enough to worry about this sort of thing!
Good:
– getting to writing ‘starting my master’s degree’ 🙂 And already loving the course
– working one floor down from one of my best friends
– having a delicious bacon, chicken (sorry Friday chicken, I might have eaten your sister) and avocado sandwich at lunchtime with said friend
– I work with nice people, none of whom seem to have personality disorders (so one up on the last job)
– Did I mention starting the MA?
.-= Jane´s last post … Out of Season =-.
Thank you Inge for the big Hint.. hehehe those old musicals are so over the top! It is exhausting watching the actors so over-animated.
and Emily: “Can I just add, since it is a chicken: “Pick a little talk a little pick a little talk a little cheep cheep cheep talk a lot pick a little more.”
Ahem”
hahahah the Ahem did it. perfect. haha
Chicken:
Hard-
+more layoffs at work. survived 6 rounds of layoffs since April. down to 15 total people on an entire floor of a big building. it feels empty and quiet and wrong.
+feeling down on myself for failing to complete more creative work last year that could be serving me well in a portfolio now
+feeling like all the things I really want to do,(job wise)I am not qualified for. too intimidated to even attempt doing them. ugh. self doubt. STUCKNESS
+fearing facing the big thing I knew would come when i decide to marry someone. i want my family’s blessing and happiness all around, but thanks to good ‘ol southern baptist evangelical bullshit i fear that will not happen.
+afraid to tell my housemates/landlord that i want to move out. i need to. i need my OWN space.
Good:
+i still have a job. paychecks cleared. whew!
+i set up a blog for my daily portrait/sketchbook posts. its been a bit of a rough start, but its keeping me motivated. baby steps.
+had some BIG talks with the gentleman friend about BIG good things and it is over the top exciting and peaceful and calming and safe all at the same time.
+knowing that no matter how it goes with my family and the formalizing of things, he and i will be great.
+apartment prices have fallen a bit in Portland and there are places I can afford.. I think…
.-= ilikered aka carrie´s last post … posting schedule =-.
the hard
everything right now. business. love. why.
in a funk. it will pass.
the good
knowing it will pass.
thinking about chicken #110 with the coronets.
Havi, Selma, and Friends of The Fluent Self,
I am a Beloved Lurker (circa fall 2008) stopping by to say hello. Apparently yesterday was National Delurking Day (http://www.blogworldexpo.com/blog/2010/01/14/national-delurking-day/).
Cheers!
.-= Katie (Sauer) Hart´s last post … A clinical psychologist, a financial literacy program director, and an economist walk into a bar =-.
Big hugs going your way over the big increase in expenses for your business. Completely get it – I’m an accountant after all.
Now for the latest saga in “As the University turns”… Last week we left off with the adventure of the policeman and the soon to be ex-boss.
This week’s adventure involved pouring through 7 years of accounting records to try to determine ownership of various pieces of equipment. Let’s just say my ex-boss has an interesting set of ethics where money is involved. Many hours were spent, many inquiries were made and in the end, my CPA credentials paid off as I was very well prepared for the big meeting this morning. Senior management had what they needed to negotiate effectively and things went better than expected.
The Hard:
– Not enough time to do both my ever expanding job PLUS preparing for my class assignments for my doctoral program
– Much insomnia
– Much anxiety over how things would go with the meeting
The Good:
– Senior management who finally gets how overworked and underpaid I’ve been under the ex-boss. My job description and pay are in the process of being adjusted
– Senior management who recognized my extra efforts in the equipment project and are giving me a stipend
– Our new interim program director who is just a delight to work for. I feel respected not put down.
– My students who chipped in and got me a gift certificate for a massage – the PERFECT gift considering the extreme stress I have been under these past few weeks
– The adjunct who agreed to teach one of our classes that needed an instructor due to the boss leaving. I’m really looking forward to working with her!
It will be a demanding semester but at least I know I’m appreciated and no longer have to deal with a paranoid boss!
The hard stuff:
-Stress around the doctoral program. Stress about the money, stress about the projects. Stress about the stress. The whole thing has been feeling quite ominous. Even talking about it is hard, right now.
-Unsurprisingly, lots of fatigue and mental fog this week, making it difficult to work.
-My sweetie’s mysterious and frustrating health problem continues to be mysterious and frustrating.
The good stuff:
+Lovely handwritten cards from past clients, filled with thanks and praise for our work together. Feeling that I truly have helped lives change for the better. So heartwarming!
+Patient, persistent, mindful efforts at self-care are paying off. I’m making music just for me on a daily basis, and it feels good.
+Shiva Nata is my friend. It’s been a deep comfort this week. Amazing, that flailing around going “What the — ?” turns out to be so soothing, but it really does! I can feel things shifting inside, too, in good ways. Lots of li’l ‘piphs this week.
+My ten-year-old has asked me to read The Procrastination Dissolve-o-Matic to her. It’s fun sharing this stuff with her, and fascinating to hear her perspective. Before agreeing to discuss it with her, though, I said, “This stuff is important to me, so don’t throw shoes.” Without missing a beat, she replied, “Okay.” “Wow,” I marveled, “you seem to know just what I mean by that!” She shrugged and nodded: “Like with cats.” …Huh. Right! Somehow, to me, that adds a whole ‘nother layer to the whole shoe-throwing thing. I mean, there you are, soaking up the moonlight, singing your heart out, and BAM! Stuff for me to ponder, which is good, ’cause I like pondering.
Hugs and good wishes to everyone! Here’s hoping that the hard things will ease, and the good things will increase. I wish they may, and I wish they might…Now good night, my Chicken, good night…
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Dramatis personae =-.
In Spanish, paperclips are called trombones (!!!), or at least that’s what’s printed on packages of paperclips. So having blitzed by the number on first read, I thought hunh, maybe there are paperclips in the story.
Busting out laughing with the “pick a little talk a little pick a little talk a little” part. Also embedded in my brain.
Havi, yes, congratulations on having a business that needs to be run like a business! Yay! And I’m still so sorry for the sickness around the admin thing.
This week, a Hard week.
The Hard:
-Sickness (Flu?)
-Money hardnesses
-Being asked to explain the value of my Thing
-Being-Ostracized-at-Slumber-Parties Triggers
-Overwhelm
-Clarifying, Backpeddling
-Getting up at 5:45 a.m. on a Friday
The Good:
+Meditation with my beloved Swami at 6:15 a.m. today
+Restful, contented nap today
+Flu has gotten rid of my chronic hip and spine pain (go figure?)
+ Committing with a dear friend to co-coach each other through one of Alexis Neely’s business programs
+Sun
+Trade with a VA and a WordPress consultant (Yay!!)
.-= Rebecca Prien´s last post … Non-Scary Law Question No. 6: How Much Emotional Energy Is Your Law Stuff Taking Up? =-.
You’re giving me a horrible earworm with those trombones that I’m going to have to try to excise with more Broadway. 😉
The Hard:
– Made a few attempts at art sales this week to no success, trying not to feel too discouraged
– Lots of stuck related to my fine art & crafty stuff
– Had a shoe thrown quite hard, a small amount of my own fail turning into a huge vitriolic rant of their stuff in my inbox
– Due to quarterly taxes, feeling v poor, and rather sharply aware of my own financial fail, esp since it means I can’t afford to donate to Haiti relief other than by proxy (& 1 small cell phone donation, which won’t have to be paid for a while yet)
– Got December’s heat bill and ouch — extremely cold weather for here + very achy me = $$$
– A bit of sleep erraticness
The Good:
+ Made a great new friend online who is also mutually ittybiz beneficial, though really the friend part is way awesomer (totally a word shush)
+ Finished all 3 of my Cartoon people, and have 2 more to do this weekend. Being a Cartoon is popular, yay!
+ Thrown shoe showed me how I dodged a bullet, and I’ve mostly let it go now rather than dwelling too much
+ Done some great creative work this week and am slowly learning to make good use of my watercolors
+ Watching everyone pull together for Haiti donations and assistance
+ Took a nap yesterday and it seems to have helped even out the sleep issues
+ Doing some Shiva Nata — dissolved that stuck by giving myself permission to both move on when I feel even slightly competent (as opposed to good) at each section, and also to stop as soon as my shoulders are bothering me no matter how much I’ve done
+ Made an effort last night to move the younger cat from the older cat’s “spot” in bed & as a result had her sleeping with us most of the night
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Buy Some Art, Be a Cartoon =-.
Hi
@Havi – so glad that you had the smarts to get the help you needed this year administratively speaking and show up with all your stuff in a way that we all could learn from. you continue to amaze and inspire me.
the hard and also the good
-practicing patience and being willing to wait to see what’s next with a project that’s coming soon please God
-the heartbreaking situation in haiti and the amazing efforts of others all over the world to help them
-eggplant parmesan: took all day to cook but it didn’t specify what kind of container and oops. . . . but it’s still good.
-watching my son shoot himself in the foot over and over again, stumble, fall, figure it out and move forward in his own way. it’s remarkable watching him figure things out even though it can be a little scary as his mom watching the process
wishing everyone a great weekend.
I’m old and I didn’t get the trombone – glad I read the comments.
The Hard
– Frustration at work because the new system IT promised would be ready, isn’t.
– sudden excruciatiing pain in left foot on Wednesday which hurt like toothache all night and left me lame in the morning.
– my doctor’s concern that it was Morton’s syndrome and might need an operation OR a stress fracture.
The Good
– Sudden healing of lame foot after a day’s rest.
– Confirmation via the xray that said foot “could possibly” have a healing fracture (???)
– Total gratitude that I will not be out of action after all.
@shirls – I didn’t get it either until I read the comments, and I’m an incurable musical addict, so you’re not alone.
CHICKEN!
The hard:
– the ankle I hurt in May ’09 (at my freaking wedding reception!) started to hurt again when I was cleaning the catbox. Is nothing safe anymore?! (Well, I was feeling rather cheeky since I’ve been pretty healthy for a few weeks now – my bad.)
– bills, bills, bills, and my unemployment claim got forwarded to the SF board of arguments, which is currently working on cases from August so no hope of an easy outcome there
– need a job but Do Not Want one. mer!
The good:
+ spent a few days sequestered in our Truckee ski-rental place. The peace and quiet of the house there is so beautiful. I love the snow so much and I love watching the happy people return from their days of riding/skiing.
+ Starting in January, Dave and I committed to putting away 10% of any and all income toward the buying-the-Compound fund. We made our first deposit today! Yay for future planning with the man I love.
+ lots of time off means lots of time for Kitchen Table feet-wetting and meditating and Shiving-it-up
+ I found the best helper mouse EVER in sharing a room in Sacramento.
Elizabeth has been sending me daily gentle reminders for the things I want to do. It’s great having an accountability partner.