Because it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Seriously? Friday?
I’m a little confused as to how that happened when it was just Friday a couple days ago.
Huh.
The hard stuff
The busy and the tired and the busy-tired.
So it was Dana‘s 50th birthday bash all last weekend.
Which was awesome because we love her. And because practically all our friends were in town.
And it also meant staying up waaaaaaaaay past my bedtime three nights in a row.
Oh, and drinking. And eating burritos. Yes, plural. Not all at once though. And generally wreaking havoc on all possible rituals and routines.
Don’t get me wrong. It was fabulous. And having houseguests was considerably more fun than I’d imagined.
It was just a lot. And my recovery time isn’t what it used to be.
Bleargh.
Tired body. Tired brain.
Not getting to work on my stuff.
This week was so … full.
I taught a bunch of classes. Had a ton of client sessions. And it was all marvelous.
Except that none of the things I wanted to work on got any attention.
Trapped under piles!
I went all Metaphor Mouse on the filing thing and am pretending that it’s pirate treasure mapping.
But I still kind of hate it.
The good stuff
Dana’s birthday weekend.
Seeing lots of friends!
Being incredibly silly.
Running around Portland drinking and carousing and wearing pirate drag!
It was pretty great. And we had friends staying with us. And lots of good food.
And yay. I am most definitely not a party person. But I enjoyed the hell out of the weekend all the same.
Purim!
I was a pirate queen. Which is kind of stupid because I am a pirate queen all the time, anyway.
And Selma (my duck) dressed up as a dragon-monster. And Diki (my dragon-monster) went as a duck.
Good times.
Lots of presents!
Costumes for Selma and my monster from Elizabeth the Bee. A beautiful print from Diane. Something mysterious from my favorite uncle.
Love and wonder and fabulousness.
Lots of stuff happening.
We had several hundred people on the Habits Detective call. And I taught a Shiva Nata class to the Roller Derby team that I sponsor (Guns N Rollers)!
It’s pretty much all fun.
More Roller-Derby-related happinesses.
So Portland’s all-star team Wheels of Justice killed at the Wild West Showdown.
And yeah, these are actual ranked bouts that mean stuff, as opposed to just messing around.
Our girls beat Philly (ranked #6). And we were this close to beating Oly (ranked #1 — and frankly I’d pretty much only been hoping we wouldn’t lose by 200 points or break anyone, so that was incredible too).
And then destroyed the B.A.D. Girls of the Bay Area 154-27.
Portland Roller Derby is kicking ass. And I’m so happy I can’t even stand it.
Non-Emergency Vacation coming up in 3, 2, 1…
The absolute highlights of last year were my two Emergency Vacations. I mean, not the circumstances that resulted in their existence.
But the taking-off-of-time and, you know, not working.
And this year? I’m planning actual time off. I know. Hard to believe.
Strategic mouse! So mid-March I will be gone. And that is very exciting.
And now it’s my weekend.
Which means I get to do lots of nothing while celebrating the anniversary of my business and also of being born.
The plan: go for a ridiculously frou-frou body treatment (something with mud?) and have my gentleman friend make delicious foods (foods!).
And hide. Yay.
Hiding.
And … playing live at the meme beach house!
Yes, that’s a Stuism too.
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week?
Balkan Hangover.
Seriously. It’s just one guy.
That’s it for me …
And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.
Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.
Hooray for lots of do-nothing, and double hooray for the anniversary of your business, Havi!
And yay yippee yay with a twirl of the pirate hat, swirls of Dance of Shiva, ripples of colored ribbons, sparkling confetti, showers of rose petals and a triple rainbow sweeping the sky to celebrate your birthday this weekend! 🙂
Good this week:
Rest, play, reading, more rest, lots of sleep, deeply transformational dreams.
New eyeglasses–the world in vivid detail!
Great client sessions.
Profound discussion in my class this week on power and creating.
Spring! Cherry blossoms. Baby eagles. Sun. Sun!
Radical trust in the benevolent flow of the Universe.
Hard this week:
Letting go of something I really wanted, because I don’t have the capacity for it right now. This is both hard and good.
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Blowing Bubbles, Exploding Patterns, and the Myth of Stuck =-.
Happy birthday/anniversary! And burritos, yum 🙂
Hard:
Marty didn’t get the internship with the auditor; he also couldn’t go back to work with the census because training was 8 hours/day all week and he couldn’t miss class.
Utter exhaustion from hormonal things meaning I have no workout stickers on my calendar yet this month.
Frantic Wednesday because I had to be three places at once and failed miserably at all of them.
Blew up at one of my art group people because everyone else undercharges for their work and I don’t think I want to exhibit with them any more (it’s kind of like having a home on a block that is full of foreclosures, it devalues your home). Could’ve handled that in a better way.
Shoes from my mother. Again. Hardest of all the hard.
Good:
Sunshine! Grass! Singing birds!
Studio time! Painting! Gocco printed fish!
Air-clearing talk with other friend. And how the sun came through the plants in the window and turned his hair green.
Did I mention studio time? 🙂
.-= Andi´s last post … Doubling Down =-.
Happy Birthday, Havi! <3! (And Happy Anniversary, too! Yay!)
(This is my first Friday Chicken…ever. I'm a tad nervous. But here goes!)
The Hard Stuff:
~My best friend threw a very huge and painful shoe at me for no reason that I could see. Yuck.
~Some random employee at the grocery store threw a shoe at me because I was buying three packages of cookies. (They were on SALE. I wasn't going to eat them all at once!)
~I'm having to try to deal with some super huge monsters that stem from Moving. Super Double Epic Yuck.
The Good Stuff:
~I tried to deflect the shoes thrown at me in the best ways possible. Which included smiling really big and telling the employee that cookies tasted better than celery anyways.
~I figured out that I can be braver than I thought.
~I used the Magic Of Metaphors to help with the massive Moving Yuck. I am now a Dinosaur who, along with my Archeologist fiance, is excavating and preparing to saddle-up (since I'm a dinosaur, I can totally carry things on my super big back) for the Big Migration to the Great Valley (i.e our new apartment, once found.) So yes. I'm a Kaiasaurus.
Yay for non-emergency vacation! Awesome!
Hard…
– Lots of overwhelm. Too much work all over the place.
– Attending a customer meeting yesterday where two of their employees got into repeated arguments. Uncomfortable.
– Attended a political caucus a few weeks ago, now the candidates call the house all day long and complain about their opponents. Uh, dingbats, some of us are working here, ya know?
Good…
– Lovely protein shakes + magic calorie burning tea has got me past my weight plateau and losing again. Delicious.
– Progress is being made! I have actually been completing tasks on my massive list this week. Feeling very productive.
– Father in law added a railing to the steps from the garage into my house, so now it will be easier for 102 year old grandpa to visit. Phew!
.-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Project success tip: Provide a single point of contact =-.
Happy birthday, sweetie-pie. (Havi birthday?)
Chick’m! I made it!
HARD
~ S is away, for two and half weeks. He’s shooting a kid’s TV show in the jungle in Malaysia (he’s the baddie). This is hard. Oh, hard. We don’t do well apart.
~ Learnin’ the tech, for The New Project.
~ Not getting feedback (yet) on The First Chapter of The Book I Get Paid To Write.
~ Not posting on the blog-closest-to-my-heart AGAIN, what with all the other writing and the setting up of The New Project.
~ Not getting the exercise done that I wanted to.
GOOD
~ Weirdly, with S away, I get to be all bachelor-y, and spend 9 hours in the same coffeeshop fiddling with PHP, and learning video editing (for example). I get to be totally absorbed, without having to keep nary a thought for anyone else.
~ Being paid the first month’s payment for TBTIGPTW. Paid! For writing! Like, all bills covered! Sheesh.
~ The New Project. Very exciting. Brunching (softly) on Tuesday. A whole new website. With video. And, you know, maybe it’ll be a business. Woo. Hoo. (I trace it all back to Self-Promotion for Wimps, you know. The amount of times I’ve listened and relistened to those recordings…)
~ Treating myself to an exercise video – like a real ‘and double time’ one. Still in its plastic (it was only yesterday) but, you know, how *eighties*.
~ Getting to the Chicken.
~ Twitter. I love my Twitter people.
***
So… happy weekend, everyone. I’m going to be typing, and formatting, and videoing, and editing…
And maybe step-cross-step-behind-clap-jump-double-time…
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … If the world is provisional, certainty is insanity =-.
Happy Friday!
The Hard:
-Miscommunication with supervisor at work and overall frustration at their lack of SYSTEMS.
-Tired from not enough sleep. Gentleman friend tossing and turning due to pain, so frustation about being tired.
The Good:
-Lovely conversation with old friend who is a super busy supermom. ah, to talk like we used to, but now with bonus kids making noise in the background.
-Talking with old friend’s toddler on the phone. He says words I actually KNOW. 🙂
-Coming home to gentleman friend after a week away on business.
-Wrapping up dissertation tomorrow.
-Finishing lingering job that was draining.
-Friday.
Happy, happy birthday, Havi! In my family, we celebrate birthday week, so you get to celebrate for a whole entire week in whatever way you choose.
This week’s hard:
– Ugh. People who can’t follow simple instructions, the result of which is that what should be an easy and quick thing taking ten times longer than it should and pissing me off in the process.
– Pissed-offedness overflowing into other areas of my life and making me just generally cranky.
This week’s good:
– Finally got in the groove and got some new stuff made and listed in my Etsy shop.
– I’ve had a light work schedule this week, so I’ve been able to take some time to regroup and work on a few personal things and go check out a few shops I’ve been wanting to visit.
– The project I expected to come yesterday didn’t, so I have all afternoon to play in the studio.
Happy chickening, everyone!
.-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … busy afternoon =-.
First Friday Chicken, but felt it was momentous enough that I should break the ice.
The hard:
Saturday morning 8.8 earthquake leveled various part of my city (Concepcion, Chile). Complete chaos. Totally scary to experience in the fifth floor of my apartment building. Aftershocks every 3 to 20 minutes for the first day that gradually tapered off until Wednesday when there was also a bad aftershock plus tsunami panic. And this morning two huge “after shocks” at 6.3 and 6.8. No water for days. No electricity. The military took over the city. People have died. People are homeless. Way too much to put in the Chicken. Heartbreaking.
Oh and MISSED the Habits Detective class I signed up for (which I just realized when I read above). And there is no chocolate to be found anywhere! And I know that sounds crazy but some chocolate would be great right now. Sometimes its just the simple things in life.
The good:
My family and friend here are OK (as are the majority of the citizenry)! We have a house to stay in. My apartment withstood and might still be habitable (which means I can get my stuff out!)
We have food and water now. My friends and family were amazing – calling the State Department, senators, the news agencies. Totally the cool type of people you want to have your back in an emergency. Yay friends and family!
I have recently started up a small yoga habit and totally believe that “breathing” has helped me immensely the last week, as crazy as that sounds. But breathing is remarkably important when you are incapable of controlling anything else (like a huge shaking building). So yay yoga.
My business plan (because I JUST quit my job to go solo) may be in complete disarray. But I hope to use my wits to creatively salvage the situation. A tough task, but I feel up to it. Because if I can survive the last 7 days I can certainly work out a new business plan!
My best wishes to everyone. Life is so precious and unpredictable. Stay strong!
Oh Happy Birthday and Anniversary! Have always had a fondness for fishy people 😉
Hard this week:
-Flu in the midst of all this? What the hell universe? Can’t you give me a break?
(I would think there was a lesson in this if I hadn’t been taking good care of us with healthy foods and so on. But I have been, so I’ll just shake my fist and stomp my feet and move on.)
Good this week:
-Naps and sleep. Allowing of the naps and sleep. Allowing a lull. Allowing an incubation period. Allowing the not-doing.
-At work, moved my office. It’s new and required much purging of the old, which is good. Also, it’s at the end of the hall, so no passersby and less noise. The abrupt leaving of the co-worker has given me a chance to think about all the reasons my job rocks. Despite occasional frustrations, I am a lucky worker-bee.
-Lots of knitting and Star Trek: TNG, which seems a nice pastime when you’re not feeling up to more.
-The snow is melting, even if it is taking a long time. Birds are singing all the time. It’s starting to feel like the end of winter/beginning of spring here.
-My sister has been into making sock animals, and I have been into seeing which sock animals she makes. They’re damn cute.
.-= Emily´s last post … Creative Every Day, Part 9 =-.
Wow! @Lindsay, so pleased you and your peeps are safe. I hope you get back into your home as soon as possible. People are amazing aren’t they? Why does it take such devastation to remind us of our ability to take care of each other..
@havi – Many happy returns! and Yes to Birthday Week – it is definitely the way to go. When I lived in Sydney, my Birthday Weeks were Legendary.
So this week felt like a breeze in comparison to the last eight.
the hard
just tiredness really, i think i was on a tired hangover from the previous week’s travelling and stress.
the good
watching my team pull together around our colleague who was ill and pulling off a really good residential meeting for our clients. great evaluations, lots of very pleased people. and the hotel we used was awesome, they’ve become partners in our project to provide work experience to kids who’ve been in care and they rock. a plug? Marriott Hotels, absolutely brilliant.
new boss, team feeling a bit more revived. plans.
me writing. a lot. i am understanding the importance of consistency and it’s working very well. i am blogging and taking photos daily and it feels great. I’m finding the balance between the serious and the frivolous and it’s working so far.
.-= Lucy´s last post … The Journey from York to Bath =-.
Happy birthday & blogaversary, Havi!
Oh, so much hard and so much good this week.
The hard:
– Feeling swamped from being gone the previous week.
– Feeling huge guilt over not being able to be be clever on demand because I was feeling so overhwelmed.
– Several difficult conversations.
The good:
– Making really good progress on sovereignty. Pretty much one of the biggest best things that’s happened to me, ever.
– Giving myself permission to not have to be brilliant on a moment’s notice.
– Realizing that I need a lot of recovery time after a trip.
– Feeling good about how I dealt with the tough conversations.
– Finally getting around to re-writing my Hire Me page and forgiving myself for not getting to it sooner.
.-= Michelle´s last post … This Week’s Writing Realization: Why I Need Plenty of Time to be Awesome =-.
Happy birthday, I hope you enjoy the hiding!
The hard:
-Doors closing that I hoped would open. SLLLLAAAAMMMM!!!It had some weight to it (hopefullness) so it really felt like a slam, not just a closing door. Or a shoe whizzing toward me followed by a slam. I know that the shoe was just in my head, no one else saw it. It was what it was.
-Also hard, not knowing how to proceed next. I’m not ready for more slamming doors. Who do I trust with this plan? Muddy water, let stand- becomes clear. (I hope)
The good:
-Paid work opportunities came to me without me looking for them. At exactly the right time. They won’t be easy but that’s why it’s called work? I’ll trust this and say yes to it. Open door? Walk through it.
-My kids are making the greatest books like 6 year olds do. Mysteries, fairy tales, sciency stuff… with invented spelling and pictures upon pictures, fixed together with ribbons of tape and punctuated with staples. So wonderful. So inspiring.
Chicken! Chicken! Hey, guys.
@Andi – hug!
@Kai – ohmygosh. Kaiasaurus and the Big Migration = the best thing ever. Possibly also the best fake band name ever. But really – I LOVE the metaphor. Perfect.
And I’m sorry about the shoes. That SUCKS. Ugh. Yuck. Totally unfair. Reminds me of when I lived in south Tel Aviv and no matter what I would buy at the grocery store, someone would comment on it (“you’re going to eat THAT? you’ll get fat!”) and it was horrible.
@Lucy – hooray for writing. That’s lovely.
@Lindsay – wow, that is way too much scary. Terrifying. I am so glad you are doing okay and your family and friends are okay. And wishing I could magically transport to you all the chocolate you wanted. So much love to you.
@Andrew – step-cross-step-behind-clap-jump-double-time! High kicks! And maybe a box step. Whee!
Hurrah for Non-Emergency Vacation!
The hard this week:
– still v tired.
– dog has hit the post-initial-fortnight “hey, let’s try being naughty now” phase.
– trying to organise something with very little feedback from the other people involved (until I’ve done it, whereupon suddenly everyone wants to change it).
– scary email I sent trying to negotiate an offered contract.
The good:
– got offered a contract for BookProject this afternoon! So excited (and also scared!) about this.
– the scary email was in response to a really positive offer, & also go me, I did negotiation-attempt.
– dog appears to be getting the “housetraining” concept. albeit slowly.
– nice evenings with both my partners.
– some realisations about the way I work, and that it’s OK not to do things that just don’t fit well with me. I can work towards the results I want in the ways that *do* fit well with me; and that’s OK.
.-= Juliet´s last post … BBC proposed cuts =-.
Wow Lindsay, glad to hear you’re all right, but yikes how scary!
I have no real hard to speak of for this week, except maybe the car repair bill. But that’s just life.
The Good
* Finally completed a big project for the homeless shelter I’m doing volunteer website work for, and got lots of happy thanks and praise for it. Love those folks, they’re so appreciative.
* Lots of painting done this week. Yay painting!
* Getting ready for my art show in La Quinta next week. Starting to feel the adrenaline rush of pre-show prep.
Happy birthday Havi!
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Santa Fe Painting: Christo Rey =-.
@Kai — Kaiasaurus! I love it!
@Havi — Happy Birthday! Happy Anniversary! Wishing you much bliss!
Hard:
-I was rather cross and low-energy last weekend, when I really didn’t want to be. I missed out on some great opportunities because of this.
-For all that the songwriting workshop I attended last Saturday was fabulous, and for all that it was fun bringing my 10-year-old daughter with me, it was not fun being seen by the leader and participants as “her mom” when I really did want to be seen for myself. This triggered some confusing and unpleasant emotions in me.
-Had a couple of random shoes lobbed at me at different times. Both times, I felt it was due to misunderstanding, and I hate the feeling of being misunderstood or unfairly judged. It pushes ancient buttons.
Good:
+Warmly positive feedback from my adviser, and another preliminary exam project has been declared (mostly) finished! That just leaves two more to complete by the end of the month, and then I have until April 14 to do the final editing and polishing on all seven projects and send them off to the faculty, in preparation for my preliminary exam defense on April 28. Suddenly, it feels possible again. By this time next week, I’ll probably be back in panic mode, but for now, I’m savoring the feeling!
+Fabulous choral rehearsal. The Brahms requiem is so satisfying to sing — and I’m in good voice, and I know the music, so it all feels great.
+Wonderful teleclass on Tuesday. I was so happy to be there, and to be a part of this Fluent Self tribe!
+My desire to write songs has come back out into the light, after many moons of skulking in shadows and muttering, “Oh, what’s the use?” Hope is a beautiful thing!
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … This probably shouldn’t surprise me… =-.
@Lindsay – wow. Sending good thoughts your way. Sheesh. That’s a LOT.
@Lucy – you’re blogging! This I did not know. Your photo made me pine for English countryside…
And everyone – birthday weeks – got to be done. I’ve been known to have a fortnight.
And our custom is that the birthday person can have whatever they want (if it’s possible and affordable) if they only say, ‘I wish…’
Only if you find the decisions fun though. Sometimes S says, ‘I wish… that you decide everything today…’
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … On Being Certain – Robert Burton – Lazy Book Review #2 =-.
All the haps for a happy happy birthday, you lovely person, you.
x
@Lindsay – Your experience sounds awesome, in the formal terrifying sense of the word. I’m relieved to read that you, your family, and friends are OK. Best thoughts to you.
@Havi – I hope you have a most molto groovy birthday!
The Hard: Spent a large chunk of Tuesday into Wednesday furious with myself for not standing up for myself, for not expressing sovereignty basically. Felt like a failure.
1st roll of photos from twin reflex camera xmas gift were fairly awful, misaligned. (Trigger of above self loathing.) Think scanning the negs will be much better approach if I can finagle gear I need.
The Good: Though the cyclical loathing seemed unceasing despite interspersed rational thoughts, it did in fact let up the next day. I’d decided to blog it as exorcism but when I sat down to do it, I realized I didn’t need to anymore. Progress!
Figured out how to reorganize my store in a much better way.
Worked out a fair amount, even if mostly the goofiness of Wii Fit Plus. Goofy is good.
.-= claire´s last post … Life of Art Friday #4 =-.
Friday, chicken, Havi’s blog, all the comments from you guys – and a glass of wine. *content sigh*
@Havi: Zum Geburtstag viel Glück, zum Geburtstag viel Glück, zum Geburtstag, liebe Havi, zum Geburtstag viel Glück! (Thank God you can’t hear me singing)
@Lindsay: So sorry to hear what you have been through. Sending thoughts of inner and outer stability.
The hard this week:
– Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. Feels and looks as though the dark circles under my eyes are almost reaching my belly button.
– Complete lack of fresh air.
– The return of winter (but I promised in my VPA not to complain about this, so take it as a neutral observation).
The good:
– A job, as off September, in a great place I used to work at before and that I LOVE. If only it weren’t in a different city. But V. and I will make it work fine; I am so great for his support.
– Dole money still coming in until the summer.
– Going to a big event and seeing many familiar faces and having fun despite the whole thing being a bit too much for an HSP like me (one cause of the fatigue).
– Lots of ideas what to do during the months when the job starts.
– Off to my parents place for 3 days on Monday. They live by the sea and I can go for walks on the beach, yay.
I’m skipping the Chicken for the moment, because I’ve just had the most glorious epifanny!!
You see, I lovelovelove the Pirate Queen metaphor. But, it’s YOUR thing, Havi. And I don’t want to steel YOUR thing. Because that’s just icky and all Single-White-Female (you know the movie right?) and it might make YOU feel all icky, and you’d think badly of me, and other Chickeneers might think badly of me, and … BAD THINGS WOULD HAPPEN. Radioactive Shoes. Highly Sensitive Fallout. Walking the plank. You know… BAD THINGS.
Then it hit me.
Pirates STEAL things. And if I *were* a pirate, I could SO shamelessly steal your metaphor.
Which freed me up completely.
Combined with inspiration from the Kaiasaurus (see Kai’s virgin chicken, above… good job, Kai!), I may actually find a metaphor that totally works for me. Consider that a mini VPA,Universe.
But if I wind up as a pirate, I will not feel the least bit guilty about pirating the metaphor.
Chicken coming later.
Happy birthday, Havi!
@Lindsay Holy wow. Momentous indeed! It sounds like you’re in good hands, and are good hands yourself, which is good to hear. Hope things get easier, and that chocolate can be found soon.
Chicken, chicken:
The hard:
* Had a couple of meltdowns at the beginning of the week. Lots of generally icky feelings and monsters who decided that it was their turn to run the show. Threw many shoes at myself, and some of them ricocheted and hit my sweetie.
* It’s looking really likely that Techshop won’t be opening again in Portland. I’m nursing a tiny birthday candle sized hope-flame along, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go.
* Headaches, headaches, sis-boom-BAH!
The good:
* The last couple of days I have felt powerful and productive and awesome, even with the hurty head.
* The meltdowns and shoe-throwing turned into some good conversation and hopeful exploration of possible ways to make that stop. Stopped telling myself that “with all the work I’ve done, I shouldn’t need it” and ordered the NVC book, for one.
* I get to make more sparkly skirts! So excited to bring more of those into the world!
* Made some good new connections, including someone in town who will let me use her laser cutter for an actually reasonable fee. She seems like a cool person, too, so it may even turn into a new friendship.
* Urgent Evoke launched this week, and the whole idea rocks my socks. A game that aims to spur people on to come up with creative ideas to deal with big social problems, and teach them how to put those ideas into practice? That incorporates meaningful actions in the real world? I am gleeful about its very existence, and excited to be playing.
.-= Shannon Henry´s last post … Illuminated, Interactive ‘Skirt Full of Stars’ – Part 2 =-.
@lindsay wow so scary. I am glad to hear you & yours are safe.
@havi yay for planned non-emergency vacations! And foods!
My Chicken:
The Hard
– Major energetic upsets in the World and my own world, topsy-turvy hard, confusion, and resulting thrown combat boots and wooden clogs and really painful shoes in my house
– Wanting so much to give my husband a great birthday next weekend and finally hearing him say he doesn’t want it. At all. Ever again. Because I love birthdays, and giving him a birthday (esp because of his sucky childhood) is a way I love showing him that I love him. And his rejection of birthdays feels like a rejection of my love. So hard.
– Lack of focus at work due to the above.
– Mike Sucks (his name for himself), the kickboxing instructor last night, who “motivated me” into an asthma attack, and the awful post-puffer hangover I have today.
The Good
+ Being ITEMized! Lots of new blog visitors. May lead to finding more of my Right People?
+ Making the list of Silencers and preparing to set them (and me free) next week at my PSYCH-K session
+ BING! Allowing my husband HIS sovereignty on the birthday topic.
+ I now have a free 4-day weekend to myself next week, so I booked 2 nights at a yoga retreat outside of Boulder, Shoshoni. With 2 treatments having to do with almond oil being drizzled and hot stones and body brushing.
+ Moving past the hurt and stuck and shoes thrown on Sunday inside my house
+ Finding a feng shui practitioner to help me fix arrows and daydreamer energy and fear of surprise in my office–she’s coming next Wednesday!
+ feng shui frogs eating up negative energy in my office.
+ An un-metaphor found about exercise: Choosing peace over violence toward self yesterday by leaving Mike Sucks’s class midway to take care of myself instead of pushing through as I have in the past.
+ Can we say level 1 shiva nata rotations? Woot woot! I love that hard=fun=good in this +.
I already chickened, but then we got the mail so there’s a side dish.
Good:
Andrews AFB was accepted in the Ohio Designer Craftsmen “Best of Ohio 2010”
Long awaited payment for contract work arrived today!
Mmmm, tasty!
Have a great weekend, y’all!
.-= Andi´s last post … Doubling Down =-.
@Havi Happy Hoppy Havi Birthday! If I were more on the ball, I would totally send you a card. 😉
The Hard
– Head hurts right now, which makes it hard to think about chickening. Boo.
– Have been dealing with with Snotty Rep of Big Company who is supposed to be helping a client and so far is just irritating the crap out of me.
– Starting to get that sense of behind-forgetting-something overwhelm, but not really sure why since things are going well as far as i know. Feel it is perhaps an anxious monster.
– Let the Etsy shop promotion stuff lie fallow a few weeks and was sad to see that the sales also flattened off.
The Good
+ New cartoon client!
+ New shoes & makeup. Been feeling my girly side a little more lately, and have been easing into the idea that maybe I don’t have to dress like a teenage boy all the time.
+ Finished up a client site, for the most part, and she is happy and I am happy.
+ Painted and drew and felt pretty creative.
+ Got the last of my new art supplies and have been putting them to good use for self, clients, Etsy, etc.
+ Cats: still cuddly, cute, and warm.
.-= Amy Crook´s last post … Just What Change Do I Want to See? =-.
Happy birthday, dear Havi, and many more! The world is a better place because of you.
Ah, finally Friday. It’s been a long week.
The hard
– This is day 5 of the migraine every day hardness. I’m worn out. The thinky bits don’t work. I’ve used up all of my sick leave and won’t get more until June, so I’ve been using vacation time every time I can’t go to work because my head is being mean to me. And I probably won’t have enough vacation time to last until I get more sick leave unless my head stops being mean to me really, really soon. And I keep feeling like it’s just not fair. I mean, it’s not a vacation. SO not a vacation. And then I end up feeling like I should just be able to suck it up like other people and go to work when I feel like hell, but when I try that, I end up coming home after a couple of hours because well, I feel like hell. Can’t function. And then instead of a relaxing quiet bus ride home it’s an entire busload full (full!) of middle school students singing “99 bottles of beer on the wall” (ok, that part was just today. But…not quiet. Ow).
– I need to do my taxes and I keep not doing my taxes because the thinky bits don’t work. I need the thinky bits.
– Still gaining weight even though I’m still vegan, so I don’t know what’s up with that. I’ve got an appt for a physical later this month, so maybe some light will be shed.
The good
+ I’m off the zombie drug, so at least I don’t feel like a drugged out zombie now.
+ Little tiny green things are poking up out of my garden in the back. The garden in the front is still under a foot of snow, but the back green poky things are giving me hope that spring will actually arrive and it’s not all just a mean rumor.
.-= Riin´s last post … New stuff =-.
THE HARD :o(
– My body is not cooperating … pain, fatigue, heaviness, dragging myself through mud … ugh.
– Working on a big project for 2 weeks that is due Monday and realizing it’s done wrong and having to restart on Friday night
– No time to spend on my Baby due to school projects and redoing school projects (see previous)
– The chaos that is my apartment, and no energy to deal with it and self care stuff
THE GOOD :o)
– The magic that is Havi
– My Baby now has an exciting home and a place to play and grow in … and I found a Multidimensional Glass Elevator to put on my desk
– Shiva…finally feeling the buzz and little moments of bing
– Singing country music really loud
– A perfect birthday care package from my far-away fiance
– Grilled raw cheese sandwiches on sprouted bread with tomato soup … yum
The hard:
Sleeping has been like this all week: 10pm-3am, 5-7am. Or sometimes 11-2, 5-8. Not really conducive to being a productive human.
The good:
Amazing acupuncture and moxa treatment that I want more and more of.
People were super duper nice to me all day today. Like random out of the blue emails about my blog and my work, a man at Whole Foods telling me he liked my jacket (it’s pink and green plaid and awesome), amazing professionals that I had to call about scary things were so fantastically nice and calming I wanted to cry. It was the exact opposite of those days one has where everything sucks and people are mean.
The dishes are clean.
The oil tank is full. Yay warmth!
I had pate for dinner. Yay liver!
It doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep tonight because tomorrow is Saturday and all I have to do is make pulled pork and think about making brisket. Yay New England Boiled Dinner!
Happy Birthday, Havi! I wish you a totally amazing and rejuvenating non-emergency vacation.
The hard:
– A week at Shoe Central that wasn’t stressful so much because of shoes as it was because of the anticipatory dread of the shoes and the stuckness around the previous shoes.
– My normal de-stressing methods not working for me because of being stuck in the shoe-dread mentality.
– Worrying so hard that I spaced out on the way to work and ended up somewhere I’d never been before and had no idea how I’d gotten there.
– Having to take an emergency vacation because of all the stuckness.
– Talking about the shoe problem with my supervisor leading to way more happening than I had expected; I didn’t want a fiasco!
The good:
+ Went to a really fun party on Saturday night and met some awesome people. Ended up having conversations with a fellow vinyl enthusiast and some fellow English teachers, and also got to go drinking for the first time in two months.
+ Went to one of my favorite schools on Friday, yay!
+ Got some new books!
+ Have almost finished writing a piece I’ve been working on since February.
+ The emergency vacation helped me chill out a lot.
+ I got rid of my horrible old TV today! Now I have more space for bookshelves!
Sleepy chickening this week.
Hard:
– weird hormonal stuff
– throwing a big shoe at my manager. well done me.
– tiredness. mehness. snuffliness.
– needing to do lots of work this weekend and the feeling this is not going to happen now.
– taking over an hour to book two train tickets online.
Good:
– meeting up with a friend I’ve drifted out of touch with a bit and realising that OMG there’s a reason we used to spend all our time together
– planned trip with my cousin to visit his mother – very excited
– planned to spend next weekend in London with a uni friend
– I feel so lucky to have to much to look forward to
– getting good feeback on my MA work
– actually realising I’ve gotten vaguely competent at the day job
YAY! Your week made me smile. I love birthdays, love parties, love costumes.
This coming week is my last week at a job that made me cry every morning. I quit! Yay! I don’t have a job lined up, but I would rather be poor than miserable.
I am very excited about BEING ON MY OWN SIDE and I hope all of you lovely people are too.
Love and hugs!
Ohhh happy happy goofy and fun filled birthday Havi! Enjoyyyy!
@ Lindsay. Flipping heck. God. Terrible. Thank you for sharing your week with us. Sending you lots and lots of love. So brilliant too that you have love and support around you during this hard time, even though it must still be sooo hard. God. Hope the temporary relief of chocolate does indeed come soon.
Hard
Bill from…the tax man. Yep. Avoidance baby.
Nearly missed another interview. Clearly struggling to keep on top of things.
Not through the woods yet in terms of paid work and money.
Good
Feeling lots of totally unexpected and random support and connections from people. Feels kind of eerie and miraculous but I am flying with it. Wee wee weeeeeeeeeeee! AMAZING!
In fact the Head of IT Analysis at a place where I worked(ie the IT software and marketing expert) said he’d look at my little blog.
In general I’m fit to burst with gratitude.Thank yoooooo if you’re reading here!
Dreaming big again. About all the things I’d love to do, or at least try. Some clarity that I love change and exploration. Doing just one thing makes me feel some dread. Trapped, grown up, out of sinc with my nature. Recognition that I will always need variety in my dream work – whatever it will be.
Following my bliss ephiphany.
Did some acupressure around a zillion things. Instantly calmed me the heck down as anxiety levels rose with lack of money stuff n bills.
Also acupressure – tapping around my partner and my fear of being loved and disappointed. Soooooo good. We had the usual differences of opinion about the world but there was no ‘heat’ in it. We just chatted. I got his perspective and could empathise with his without feeling it was something I needed to defend and without losing a sense of my own beliefs and perspective. That was totally amazing. Amazing.
A small new income source. It felt ‘right’. Fun, interesting, based locally, deep and light at the same time. Enabled me to be still and practise identifying my patterns and speak kindly to my stuff as it emmerged. Awesome way to make a few quid. Would take me months to get into being still otherwise – so yay friggin yay!
My first week where I worked a three day week in soooo long and where everywhere I worked had elements of support, light, fun and interconnectedness. The qualties that I so need.
Some crazy arse sense that I feel more aware of a connection to source. So many years of resistance to this. Not wanting to sound goofy, or be discreditted by my therapist. But some movement here = external validation still needed, but the hold so much looser nowadays.
In spite of some stuck, feeling like I am falling in love with life again and feeling more supported internally and externally in a really huge way!
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Havi! I hope you have a wonderful Non-Emergency Vacation – and if you visit the Tillamook Cheese Factory, have a bag of cheese curds for me, please. (Yes, a whole bag – if you’re eating it for me, don’t be surprised if it’s gone before you leave the parking lot.)
@Lindsay: so scary! I am so glad that you are ok and have lots of support. I wish I could magically send you the hugest shipment of chocolate ever.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … ode to joy, volume 9 =-.
Happy Healthy Birthday and Anniversary Havi. Read about your decision about the conference – you’re so smart to know what’s right for you. Impressive!!
The hard
-feeling vulnerable, tried to get a massage and had a flat tire
The good
-someone gave me a great tip so i didn’t lose my shirt at the tire place!
so much to be thankful for – and so many tears at the same time.
thanks for listening.