A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.
Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.
Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.
So this Wednesday-arriving-unexpectedly thing is really starting to creep me out.
Ninja Wednesday is way too sneakified for me.
But here we are.
And there are Items! And things to read!
And exclamation points!
Item! Post No. 25 in the series that has captivated the hearts and minds of at least three different people out of the thousands who read this thing and so I just keep doing it even though that’s not really a reason at all.
Item! Who says you can’t be my friend?
This post from the lovely Gina is such a sweet, elegant, compact summing up of so much that I often finding myself wanting to say and not knowing how.
It’s about why online life and real life don’t have to be in conflict.
About why Twitter friends or Facebook friends may be different from the ones you get to physically sit next to, but that different doesn’t mean not powerful and it doesn’t mean not life-changing.
“Because for every person who blogs or tweets about their shit, there are a dozen people tearfully thanking them for letting them know they’re not alone, and then moving forward with courage to do the same. And from there it ripples out into the ‘real’ world.”
It’s called don’t be dissin the Twitter and it’s beautiful.
She’s @gloreebe88 on Twitter.
Item! No cocktail sauce!
Ever since Jason (@jivaka) introduced me to the Awkward Family Photos blog, I have become an embarrassingly obsessive lurker.
But this especially awkward Thanksgiving letter just zapped all the wires in my brain or something. I had to read it five times.
“Lisa, as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).”
Right? Right?
Item! This is how to do Etsy.
Remember when I had strong opinions about what makes people buy your art?
And I talked about the importance of telling a story and being human and letting people into your life a little?
So people have been asking me for more examples of doing it right.
Obviously, there are a variety of ways that someone might possibly do it right.
But this gorgeous, look-at-me Red Rover Red Rover Lampshade from Fabulously Fierce is a terrific example.
“I loved dressing myself as a child. Sometimes it wasn’t just a matter of putting it on by myself, but picking out what it was I was going to embarrass myself with that day …
… I remember having a favorite outfit that was red and black, and when I wore that, I shone like a crazy star. On those days, my teachers called on me when I raised my hand and never made me last in line.”
Also, some of her item descriptions are Mötley Crüe* lyrics. Rock. On.
She’s @FabooFierce on Twitter.
*I feel actual physical pain when I have to put an umlaut where no umlaut should be. Just saying.
Item! A drawing of my inner creative fairy!
So Amy Crook is basically the coolest person on earth.
Because she gave form to my Writer Me and made her a fairy and captured her likeness astonishingly well.
Take a look at her ass-kicking Artist Amy too.
Oh, this makes me so completely happy.
She’s @AmysNotDeadYet on Twitter.
Item! Fabeku is my favorite.
I heart Fabeku.
And everything about him. Come on, he sent me a crazy pirate duck package in the mail.
So you can’t imagine how thrilled I was when he finally put up a website. With a blog.
The world has been waiting for this guy.
His site is called Sankofa Song. And yeah, he’s a big tree-hugging healer who likes ninjas, chocolate and Cyndi Lauper. And is not afraid of contradictions.
I like that in a guy. In anyone, actually.
Anyway, celebrate with us and get to know Fabeku because he rocks. Hard. And that is not just an expression in this case.
He’s @Fabeku on Twitter.
Item! There is power in hearing voices.
This is a gorgeous, moving, inspiring post from my friend Sarah Vela.
It’s about losing your voice and finding it again.
It’s about having inner voices and being okay with that.
“At seven years old, I knew it was pretty weird for me to be narrating my own life in the third person, but I did it anyway, compulsively, and during some long, ordinary stretches of life. Not much of note happens when you’re walking home from school in a sleepy Boston suburb. But I can assure you I wrote it all down in my mind like I was freaking Tolstoy.”
The post is called Hearing Voices and you can read the rest here.
She’s @orchid8 on Twitter.
Item! Comments!
So it was really cool last week when I got to work on my practice of how I ask for stuff and you guys gave me the best reading recommendations ever!
So I’m going to try it again!
Here’s what I want:
- Things you’re thinking about.
- Blogs you’re enjoying that you think I might like.
My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.
Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.
That is all.
Happy reading.
And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow.
Follow
I know your pain on unneeded umlauts. I feel the same way.
A few blogs I think you might like (that I haven’t already heard you mention before):
http://www.owlsparks.com/
http://whitehottruth.com/
Things I’m thinking about: Thinking about actually aiming for small instead of super-large. It feels much less stressful and more fun.
Ambers last blog post..Dig Your Job
@Spiderbabe – I am immensely reassured. I can’t even tell you. That’s awesome.
@amber – thanks for the recommendations! That’s super great. And I’m a big fan of aiming for small. In my mind, it’s actually more biggified to aim for small than it is to paralyze yourself with impossibly stressful goals. 🙂
Seriously. Yay comfort zones — they’re good for you.
Haaaaa-viiiiii (to be read in a ‘i-can’t-believe-how-sweet-you-are’ tone)
I can’t believe how sweet you are! Mentioning my humble little blog twice in two weeks. And once again, I love the other folks you’ve mentioned, and am now following a number of them.
As far as other blogs.. i can’t imagine what you might not have found yet. One that jumps out for me is:
http://www.life2point0.com/
Oh and PS… what Amber said…thinking about aiming for small. And totally do-able. Tune in for upcoming blog post on that..:)
Ginas last blog post..Every Body Deserves a Massage
That Thanksgiving letter is priceless! Here’s what I’d bring if I were forced at gunpoint to attend said “festive” gathering: a bust of the hostess carved out of Spam. I’d use olives for eyes and cauliflower for hair. An aluminum foil-wrapped pizza box would serve as the platter. I’d adhere the cans that had contained the Spam around the rim of the platter with Cheez Whiz.
I’m sure the hostess would be thrilled. Heh.
Nancy, I think you and I should get together for Thanksgiving!
Catherine Cantieri, Sorteds last blog post..Freedom and organization: does it have to be either/or?
Wow, Havi, thank you! I love you to bits, you know.
I would say something smarter, but this week is the Week of Meetings Doom — 2.5 Monday, 3 Yesterday, 1 + 1 Schroedinger’s meeting (will it happen? will it not?) today. My poor introvert brain is about ready to collapse! So the smart words, they are not so much in evidence.
But thank you! I’m so glad you liked your fairy, and mine.
Amy Crooks last blog post..Commission: Till the Walls Shall Crumble to Ruin
I just realized that I’ve spent a full hour reading the links you posted here when I probably should have been working. So thank you for making my morning brighter. 🙂
Also, I put in my new Dance of Shiva DVD today and flicked through it, just to get an idea of what’s on the DVD and what I have to look forward to. I’ve been practicing hand positions too, and it’s hard to get used to the idea that I’m not supposed to get it right away. I am enjoying it, though! (Even though my wrists just don’t want to do some of this yet…)
Also also, I’ve been thinking about the idea of writing personal ads that only I can answer, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. (Now that I’m writing this, I can’t help but feel like you already have talked about it and it’s slipped my mind. Please forgive me if that’s the case!) I feel like it’s kind of an odd mutation of the concept, but I’m also interested in seeing what happens when I ask myself for what I need in that format. It seems like it ought to be leaps and bounds better than “Okay, self, I have to…”, at any rate.
Also also also, I have a lot of trouble recommending blogs because I assume that the people I admire are already reading all the good ones! But here is an off-the-beaten-path one that I enjoy and think you might too: Viewliner Ltd., a retrospective of classic Americana (today’s post is on Cyd Charisse), at http://viewlinerltd.blogspot.com/ .
*high-fives Catherine*
Havi and all…
I’ve been a loyal reader for about 5 months now. The post you quoted from Gina really hit home. And so I answer your request for thoughts as I ask for some insight from you and your readers…
I am struggling with a decision to ditch my thesis for another, more amenible project. My current topic was a gift, and discussions of wisdom accepting gift projects aside – my heart and head are just not in it. It’s well outside my degree focus and I’ve spent the better part of two years trying to convince my heart and head this is the right thing to do. I’ve made committments. Promises. But my soul withers and I am retreating within myself more each day.
I want to be true to my talents and gifts, and yet be a person of integrity. Follow through. Finish what you start. I’m a web designer, with appreciable talent and great potential, and I opened my own web studio in January. My degree will be a solid credential for my business. I’ve worked hard to complete it so far and loved the journey – until the thesis. But at this rate, I’m not going anywhere.
In the realm of integrity, committment, self-love, even destuckification… where does one go? Being true to one’s self. Being true to one’s word. How do you leave the disappointment behind? How do you walk away from the overwhelm without pain?
Heavy, I know. But it’s what I’m thinking about…
I second the recommendation for http://whitehottruth.com. Most ardently. And yeah, I’m assuming that you know of all the good ones, too. But…
There’s http://sparkyfirepants.com/blog/ (because he’s so *right on* about art and creativity).
There’s http://gwenbell.com (because she actually *does* get this whole online connection we’ve all got going on, and is incredibly interesting)
And the wonderful http://lizfranco.com (because she’s just so not strategic. And colorful.)
Sarah Brays last blog post..Web overwhelm
Today, I’m thinking about how much I love my doctor.
And I wholeheartedly recommend http://everythingisterrible.com/ for bizarre artifacts from the VHS era. And good laughs.
the fat nutritionists last blog post..Dear Fat Nutritionist – does yummifying my food make it less nutrilicious?
Amy…
What comes to my mind (if I may barge in here, and consider myself among the “all”) is that you already know the answer. 🙂 What will happen if you follow what your heart and soul are so loudly telling you? Can you imagine looking back in ten years and imagining how you would feel? “Wow, I’m glad I stuck it out, and remain a person of integrity.” or “Wow, I’m glad I listened to my stuckness and let go of that thing that I really didn’t want to do, so I could pour myself into this other thing that I love?”
Integrity is important, but being true to yourself is also a matter of integrity… and, this just being my personal bias, life is too short to be doing things just for the sake of saying we did them (or to impress others, even legitimately) What is the absolute best use of your precious time and life energy?
Ginas last blog post..Every Body Deserves a Massage
Havi-
If you haven’t seen it, TED.com is a smarty-cool inspirational YouTube type site. Lectures filmed at the TED (TEchnology, Entertainment, Design) conference.
Lots of topics and talks that I find fun. Not a blog, but still cool.
🙂
Ingrid
Hi Havi,
In the category of things I’m thinking about I just finished reading ‘How Proust Can Change Your Life’ by Alain De Bottom and even though I’ve never read Proust I found it to be very funny, wise, and moving.
The central theme of the book is that perception is linked to happiness and art refines and enhances our otherwise stale and despair-polluted perceptions of daily life thus art is essential to happiness.
Pick up a copy if you have time. I think you’d get something out of it.
I don’t have any blog suggestions at the moment but if you’re at all open to web comic suggestions I find Garfield Minus Garfield to be hysterical, philosophical, and deeply existential: http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ It might be my happy place.
Keely H.s last blog post..One Dead French Poet & One Living French Poet
This is terrific. Super helpful. Thank you.
I love all these blog and book suggestions. So so great.
@Chris – sounds fascinating. Can’t wait to see what you come up with. Personal ads to yourself is about as personal as you can get. I think there are a lot of neat possibilities there!
@Amy Crook – I owe you! The phrase “Schroedinger’s meeting” is too too too perfect. Yay.
@Nancy/Catherine – ohmygod, I’m so coming to Thanksgiving with you guys! Oh wait, I hate Thanksgiving. But that still sounds pretty entertaining.
@Amy – wow, that’s quite a conundrum. It made me think of what Hiro says often about things being in “right relationship”. She says that when a decision is a good one, it’s good for YOU and it also ends up, because of that, being good for everyone involved. She says it better than that but you get the idea.
Anyway, I’m wondering if playing with the different aspects of your own personal definition of integrity might be helpful (and if not, you have full permission to skip it!)
You know, as Gina said, is it possible that “being fair to myself and others by being clear and upfront about what I need to thrive” can also be considered integrity? And if not, what information are you getting there about how you think about these qualities that are important to you …
But mostly I just want to give you a hug (hug!) and acknowledge how hard this is and how frustrated and anxious you’re feeling in this situation right now.
I will wish for a happy solution for you. Maybe we can write another personal ad around this and see what comes from that too. 🙂
Havi,
I have been reading your blog for a few months now (religiously). Seriously, I save it for after lunch so that I have something great to read in the afternoon! And I have gotten more great links/blogs/sites from you than anyone else. So thanks.
I rather nervously put forth my own little blog Thought Soup (http://sandy.serveblog.net/Sandy)… it holds most of what I’ve been thinking. Wow this is scary! Anyway, there it is, out there. I hope you enjoy it.
For super cuteness and creativity I’m recommending My Milk Toof:
http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/
And if you haven’t already seen it on YouTube, ‘An Engineer’s Guide to Cats’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4
Hi, Havi and everyone,
I don’t know if you have any interest in the many forms of talk therapy, but I was reading this article (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1156613,00.html) and I immediately thought of Havi. It’s about how cognitive therapy as developed in the 80’s is since very recently being supplanted by a “third wave” of talk therapy that’s more about mindfulness. It reminded me a bit of Havi’s meditation techniques — meeting your fears, acknowledging them, listening to them…
Anyway, I thought it was really interesting and I recommend it. 🙂
Natalias last blog post..The Things We Do for Fear
Wow!
I am so silly excited at making your Item! post that I have been smiling all day. Thank you so much for this great big bunch of awesome.
I heart you too, and think you’re a thousand kinds of amazing.
Thank you x 100 for all of your support and encouragement and help.
And is it ok if I say wow again? Because I really want to.
Wow!
To Read:
@Chloe Walker YES! I second that recommendation. My Milk Toof always makes me smile and feel warm and fuzzy. The creator, Renee Engstrom also makes a comic, Anders Loves Maria http://anderslovesmaria.reneengstrom.com/. I suggest starting that one from the beginning, the story makes more sense that way.
For a snarky cute read I love http://www.nedroid.com Beartato and Reginold are silly and sweet and I love their names. The current comic is a bit obtuse.. scan through some older ones for the full effect. good stuff for a quick laugh or mental break.
Things I’m thinking about:
The different parts of me (artist me, skater me, adventure traveler me, spiritual/ex-religious me) and what I need from them now. I’m feeling way too much like stuck withered away blank mushy me these days.
Writing some personal ads. I have 3 specific things I think it would be worth giving it a try on.
What it is I really need from a job right now and how to get it. I have discovered I loved my old job that I left for $1 more pay raise, a full time schedule and my big shot at a foot in the door at a creative agency. i’m much more miserable now and wondering if it was a wrong move and how to correct it.
Havi–
Hm… integrity…. My definition *I think* revolves around being integrated. Making decisions for myself that keep me whole and nourished. Being honest with myself (avoiding denial and other shoving-under-the-rug type behavior) is pretty much the main goal. I’m pretty even-headed with ethics until it has to do with my inner me. Things like saying nothing is wrong when something IS wrong or saying what I need is something I am learning/practicing/exploring daily. But play? I like this…. a lot.
Speaking of play, Temple Grandin’s Animals In Translation is a good book to read chapter at a time or all the way through. The author uses her insights from being autistic and applies it to understanding animal behavior. The chapter on play talks about how animals take turns winning and losing during playtime, regardless of their social rank.
As for internet reading, I’m really liking http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/
Have a glorious morning.
melissas last blog post..A good place to start
Oh! The umlauts! I HATE it when people do that! I have such a hard time not ranting on and on about how they shouldn’t be there, but it does nothing but raise my blood pressure. I try to just think of anyone who does it as stupid and move on.
What I’m thinking about: oh… The store I’ve been working on broke. It was working. Now it’s not working. I can’t figure out why. It was supposed to go live in a few days. Much anxiety. Trying not to panic. 🙁
Riins last blog post..A Finished Object
Havi and all ~
I’ve been following your blog for a few months and, although I’ve never posted before now, I’ve felt that this is a safe sanctuary-ish place and I enjoy coming here to learn and question and try the scary new things I’ve been putting off for so long. So thank you so much for putting yourself out there and encouraging the rest of us to sit, think, and interact with our “stuff”
There’s a fledgling blog that I think you’d be interested in:
http://keeptalking-sandman97739.blogspot.com/
(I hope that link works!) It’s all about communication and the patterns we put ourselves in and the reminder that positive communication creates positive relationships and situations. I’ve been really enjoying it and I’m hoping it gets some good discussions going.
Things I’ve been thinking about: “The worst they can say is ‘no’.” My new mantra of sorts.
My fear of failure and rejection has kept me from doing a lot of things that I think would make me happy. I’m trying to be present with those scared feelings, accept them, and then let them go, because the worst that can happen is they say “no” and really, in the grand scheme of things, a few people saying no isn’t so bad right? Right.
Thanks for listening. And thanks for the safe space.
Alix
I have no idea how I found you, Havi – BUT – I LOVE LOVE LOVE you. You are one of the most creative writers I’ve found (who also happens to say things that MATTER).
Are you a great talker too? Perhaps you might consider joining me on my show sometime? (see blog link)…would love to have you expound on any topic related to storytelling for socially conscious business owners (is that non-specific enough)?
Two items of note for me today: contradictions of personality (my own) and how I can motivate myself to actually do something that would allow me to bill some hours…(probably need to quit reading your fabulousness and get back to work).
Tea Silvestres last blog post..Socially Strategic Enterprise: Doing Well While You Do Good
Yeah, me again. But I wanted to thank everyone for their cool suggestions.. found some great new stuff to play with. And I wanted to recommend one more that you might enjoy:
http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com
Two 80-something women.. best friends for 60 years, and a total hoot.
Ginas last blog post..Stuff I Swear By – Nettle Tea
Hi Havi,
Hmmm … that’s tough. Most of the blogs I read I’ve found through you. And I thank you, thank you, thank you for the info on Fabeku’s blog and site — he sounds like someone I need to meet.
I would humbly (nervously?, cautiously? ugh – is this too self-promote-y-ly?) suggest that you might enjoy my blog — http://www.songtaneous.com/blog
singingly,
sg
Sarah M. Greers last blog post..The Way I See It
Havi, you may enjoy this blog: http://www.unphotographable.com/ I haven’t been reading it lately, but my latest blog post brought me back to it, and I think you’d enjoy it. He doesn’t post regularly on the blog, but he’s more active on Twitter (@unphotograph).