Last summer I spent a week at Jennifer Louden’s writer’s retreat in Taos, New Mexico.
I was there in a teaching capacity — destuckification techniques, Shiva Nata brain training and absurdly relaxing Old Turkish Lady yoga.
So I wasn’t planning on getting any results. You know, in relation to me and writing. I was there to teach.
Hahahahahahaha.
I’ve been looking over my notes. Looking at just how much I was wrong about, as well as what I learned. Because I wasn’t expecting any of it.
Some of the stuff I was wrong about.
I thought everyone else would be Capital-W Writers.
You know, people with published novels and books of poetry.
Fiction writers. Or self-help experts like Jen, who has been on Oprah and is sparkly and does fabulous famous things.
Not at all.
It was a delightfully eclectic mix of everything and anything.
There were published writers. But there were also casual journal-ers and scribblers and secret closet writers.
There were bloggers. And people who were there to work on their website copy as a writing project.
There were playwrights. There were people who don’t at all think of themselves as writers but really wanted to have time to themselves to be creative and discover things.
I was home.
I thought everyone else would be there for more or less the same thing.
You know, to get some writing done in a loving, supportive guilt-free environment.
But there were people there for the safety of retreating: sanctuary!
And people who came because they’ve been returning for eight years in a row and they know it’s an experience that will be both transformative and comforting.
And people who came because something inexplicable pulled them and there they were.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to connect to people.
Honestly, I was so relieved that I was there to teach because otherwise I might have to deal with the scary of oh god what if these are not my people.
The achingly familiar outsider complex again.
But the people who come to spend time with Jen are amazing. Every single one of them.
There was warmth and brightness. There was love and connection. It was fun. And intense. And beautiful. I was wrong.
Some of the things I experienced.
I am a writer.
This was the place where my eternal doubt left me for good.
I’d kind of thought that being tortured about my writing identity was such an intrinsic part of who I am that this would never stop being my big issue.
But I got over it. Yeah, I write. And yeah, it has meaning. And no matter where I go with it, I can claim this word for myself.
I can claim this practice for myself.
I do not need to be in isolation.
Part of my thing about everything is that I have to do everything myself.
It’s really, really challenging for me to even remember that this isn’t always true.
Being in such an easy, loving group brought me back to that thing that is connection and community.
And I still had time for myself.
And somehow, everyone there got what they wanted and needed. I’m not sure how that happened but it was awesome.
Change your place, change your luck.
Really, the importance of setting cannot be underestimated.
Put yourself somewhere beautiful, where great writers have done great writing, with context and love and permission, add some shivanautical epiphanies and the most extraordinary things happen.
The thing that happens when you make space for something to happen.
You have no idea what it’s going to be.
That’s part of the scary and the fun.
But it’s important.
Because those are the changes that stick with you.
Everything I’ve done in this past year — every product and program I’ve created, everything I’ve written, everything I’ve experienced, has been influenced in some important way by that week in Taos.
And when Jen asked me to come back and teach again this year, I said yes partly because it was so much fun.
But I mainly said yes because I can’t wait to see what happens in the year to come, after going through this experience again.
Because it’s the kind of doorway that if you have the chance to step through, you kind of have to.
Things I want to say today, specifically.
Through an unlucky (for someone else) happenstance, there are two seats unexpectedly available.
If you are a woman and you sometimes write or even sometimes think about writing and putting words together, and there is any way you can make it, I cannot recommend this highly enough.
And there is zero pressure. And you don’t share your writing. Just full-on creative flow in an outrageously gorgeous, magical setting.
You could skip everything but the labyrinth, the food, the sunsets and getting private coaching and crazy personal attention from Jen and it would still be the best week of this decade.
Here’s the link (I hope there’s still room) for Jen’s Luscious, Nurturing Get Your Writing Done While Laughing Your Butt Off and Maybe Crying a Little Too Writer’s Retreat.
That’s it. And of course I’ll come back and share some of my epiphanies and wonderings from whatever notes I take while I’m there.
And.
If this is not the time or the place or the right whatever, I know that you will find those things that need space made for them. And space will get made.
It’s frustrating when you don’t know how or when that will happen. It just sucks. So I just wanted to give reassurance and comfort with that.
I don’t know how or when either. Just that experience tells me these spaces show up eventually. I hope yours come in good timing.
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Honey, you are such a good describer – thank you for this moving beautiful word picture. I so look forward to being with you in Taos and writing and laughing and eating!!!
.-= Jennifer Louden´s last post … Distillation – Kripalu 2010 =-.
Ah, this sounds so delicious, Havi. A whole week with you and Jen in Taos, writing! Wishing…daydreaming… 🙂
Love, Hiro
Hiro, come play with us!!!
.-= Jennifer Louden´s last post … Distillation – Kripalu 2010 =-.
Thanks for the link to Jennifer’s blog. I read her “bright shiny” post and it was great for me right now.
One of the best things I’ve done was to quit something to start nothing. I had to deal with a bunch of monsters telling me that I’m a quitter, I’m lazy, etc. But I made space and I even used the words with others that “my life was too busy and I was making space for new things”. They didn’t understand because I was “only” working parttime(paid).
It has resulted in an amazing turn of events and a change in career that would not have been possible if I held onto my old life. I’ve found that I’m not the least bit lazy and I’m passionate, driven and possibly too hard working for my own good. I could not have dreamed of this!
Making space is a good thing for me and it is very constructive.
NOW I have to hone in on my inner voice when it comes to saying “no” to high paying opportunities. “Bright shiny” things I do not need at this point. They served a purpose BEFORE, even a few months ago, but I might be ready to let those go and make space for the next type of paid work with my new skills. Maybe a bit of a drop in pay but working with organizations that I feel provide life-giving work for me as well.
Thanks for getting me thinking about this today!
This does sound delicious. It has been on my wish list for next year for a while now .. now it is cemented there. 🙂
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … building a bridge of love =-.
That sounds amazing…not that I would be able to do it…but it really does sound lovely. Hope everything goes well for you and everyone else there.
I was excited to come before I read this – now I am bursting. So looking forward to whatever happens. I know I’m supposed to be there and I feel so grateful that I have the help and support of those around me to make it happen.
Yay!
.-= Melani Ward´s last post … Mojo- 11 Steps to Finding It- Keeping It -amp Putting it to Good Use =-.
Just in case anyone here is wondering if they are one of Jen’s right people, I can give reassurance. I went last year because Havi was going to teach there; I didn’t know Jen at all before I decided to sign up and, really, I’m so glad I didn’t let that stop me! It was wonderful! I loved everything about the retreat, and everyone was amazing too. Some of the participants were Jen’s people, others were Havi’s people, and in the end we were just a fabulous group of amazing women. I really wish I could go again this year…
Melani, so excited to be hugging you soon. Josiane, it was great to meet some of Havi’s peeps! I love expanding my connections and you were amazing to connect with.
.-= Jennifer Louden´s last post … Distillation – Kripalu 2010 =-.
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly…
Loverly…loverly…
Yes, this retreat has been whispering in my ear for quite some time. Perhaps next year will be the year for me? In the meantime, thank you for the comfort and reassurance — I am bathing in them now allowing myself to feel cool and soothed and (mostly) patient.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The trouble with “middle vision” =-.
This sounds so amazing. It’s not my time or space (I have a toddler to take care of) but thank you for your wishes. And I hope it’s just as amazing for you this time around.
.-= Amber´s last post … Life Crafting Role Models- Sue =-.
I need this for mens! Or I need to be a woman! C’mon, I was raised by women. Please ignore the beard.
I was crushin’ so hard on this retreat a few weeks back — I’d keep opening the page to read the description and imagine how delicious it would all be…
Unfortunately, as I live on the other side of the world, getting there raises a bunch of complications and expenses. Not impossible of course but just difficult to arrange and pay for in short space of time. Planning for next year is more feasible at this point.
BUT, in my retreat lusty-ness I thought, ‘what would Havi or Jen do in this situation?’ And I asked myself what were the *qualities* of this retreat that I was desiring so strongly?
Container of space and time for writing. Complete permission to be and write however I wanted to be or write. Warm companionship. Support, guidance and encouragement.
And then I started thinking about ways I could create that for myself now, and I took some action, and it’s been oh so lovely.
So I still hope to see you, Jen and Havi, in person someday soon but, until then, I wanted to let you know that this retreat has been so helpful to me already without me even being there!
XOX
.-= Rebecca Leigh´s last post … I’ve been called out by Danielle LaPorte =-.
Rebecca, love the attitude you took – isn’t the internet amazing when we can use it to get what we need no matter what?
Thorin, I might do another writer thing on the East Coast for men and women… so stay tuned.
Amber, kiss your baby’s feet for me. My baby’s feet are as big as mine now and can drive a car – I hanker for baby flesh!
Kathleen, love to have you next year or at another event.
Sending good writing in the meantime to all!
.-= Jennifer Louden´s last post … Distillation – Kripalu 2010 =-.