This is something that’s been coming up lately in my Kitchen Table forum, and I’ve been seeing it in various other online places as well.
Someone launches a thing.
You know, a mailing list or a class or a program or a product.
And nothing happens.
No one signs up. No one buys. No one responds.
Here’s the fascinating part.
There is a huge leap that just about everyone makes from “no one has responded” all the way to “no one is interested”.
And man, I have a lot to say about this.
First the comfort.*
*Only if you want it, of course. If you’re not into the comfort thing, go ahead and skip to the next bit. 🙂
Oh, you poor sweet thing.
Ugh. Yuck. Miserable. No fun at all.
You must be feeling so frustrated and upset, because you need to know that you’re supported, and that all the hard work you’ve put into this wasn’t in vain.
So big hug from me. And a sympathetic look from Selma.
And recognition that you did something that can feel scary and vulnerable, and that you didn’t get what you wanted from it. Because that sucks. And I’m sorry you had to experience that.
Then the reality check.
You actually don’t know yet.
You don’t know that no one is interested in your thing because you can’t know.
There is not nearly enough evidence to justify that kind of conclusion yet.
And anyway, we already know that conclusions are often astonishingly ridiculous … and jumping to them? Even more so.
There can be all sorts of legitimate reasons for why no one’s going for it yet. Reasons that do not have a thing to do with whether or not people are interested.
So there are three questions (at least) that we absolutely have to be able to answer… and then we can figure out where to go from there.
Important Question #1: how many people saw the thing you offered?
Because you know what?
There’s a pretty big difference between a situation where three hundred people saw your thing but didn’t go for it and a situation where only two people did.
So the first thing you need to find out, is how many people actually got to the right page on your website.
Or saw the sale at your Etsy shop. Or read your blog post. Or received the invitation — or whatever.
For example, if you send out an email noozletter announcing your thing to your hundred and fifty subscribers and not one of them clicked through to your website… that’s hardly proof that no one is interested.
It’s possible, yes. Theoretically.
But it’s much more likely that it’s one of these things:
- Your link didn’t work. People tried to click on it and it didn’t take them anywhere.
- It wasn’t obvious that it was a link. Maybe you linked one word in the middle of ten paragraphs and people missed it. They’re busy. They’re reading fast. Understandable.
- There wasn’t a clear reason why someone should click that link. It was just a “hey, check this out if you feel like it at some point, though god knows why you’d want to” kind of thing.
And there are a bunch of other reasons I can think of, but in the interest of avoiding the longest post in the history of blogging, let’s just say this:
Before you can decide that people aren’t interested in the thing, you have to have gotten them to the place where they can say yes to it.
Important Question #2: did you answer their unasked questions?
- Is it going to work?
- What if I don’t like it?
- How long does each class last?
- What if I’m not ready?
- Is the shipping going to be really expensive?
- What are the other people going to be like?
- What about the wild animals?*
* If this makes no sense, read Mark’s wonderful post where someone actually asked, “Are there wild animals that will attack me?” and it was a perfectly legitimate, reasonable question.
We all want to know things. Because we’re curious. And scared. And hopeful.
And we need reassurance and safety.
But we tend to not like having to ask about the things we want to know, so you’re going to have to answer our questions for us before we can say yes to your thing.
Even if we are mostly ready to say yes to it.
Important Question #3: did you allow enough time?
One of my students recently announced a six week course she was going to teach… two weeks before it started.
It was her first class ever. And she was absolutely devastated when no one signed up.
After the designated grumblebug kvetch session and the commiserating, I pointed out that when I first started announcing programs four years ago, it would take me ridiculous amounts of time to fill them.
I learned to allow months for getting the word out. And even then I sometimes ended up teaching classes that had three people in them.
Now, finally, astonishingly, it’s gotten to the point where I can completely fill a class in a day or two. But that’s crazy. Not the norm.
The norm is that you want to give your Right People (and yourself) at least a couple months to get used to the idea that a course is coming …
That way, you have more time to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
And more time to plant gentle reminders. To answer more questions. To work on your own stucknesses as they come up. Stuff like that.
I know. This is a lot to work on.
And that’s kind of my point.
There is just so much to do and learn and work on before you can legitimately say that no one is interested.
Which means that when you find yourself leaning towards the “no one is interested in my thing” explanation first, that’s a clue that your stuff is coming up.
So there are two things you’ll need to focus on.
You’ll want to be consciously, actively working-on-your-stuff so you can start to destuckify your own issues around biggification. What I call working “in the soft”.
And at the same time, you want to keep using practical, measured techniques “in the hard” for the actual getting-people-to-say-yes part. You know, the M-word.
Useful resources.
- Mark’s post about numbers (how many people you need to reach) is very helpful.
- The M word. “Marketing” and other vomit-ey stuff.
- My “give me back my comfort zone!” rant.
- Mark’s post again on the 7 Necessaries for Filling a Course
One last thought.
All these techniques — all this non-sleazy “marketing”-ey work and biggification stuff?
It’s just the means to an end. It’s not the end itself.
The point of learning how to do non-gross “get the word out” work is to help you get to the place where you don’t have to do it anymore.
To get to the point where you don’t have to do it anymore.
At this point in my business, I don’t really spend time or energy on the m-word. I don’t write promotional emails and sales pages. I don’t even have a noozletter. I don’t launch stuff.
At most I announce it casually once in a while here or on Twitter.
So you take the time to learn techniques “in the hard”, and you work on your stuff “in the soft”, so that you can do the thing and help your Right People say yes to it.
But once those structures are in place, you can turn your attention back to working on yourself for its own sake instead of working on yourself to work on your business. Does that make sense?
That idea probably needs its own post, but I’m just going to stop here for now.
Comments …
So I’ve been practicing asking for what I need. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of my experiment .
Here’s what I want:
- Stuff you’re working on biggifying.
- Stuff you’re thinking about in connection to these themes and concepts.
What I would rather not have:
- A lecture about how business is evil and promoting things is evil and no one should ever do it. If that’s your life philosophy, that’s fine — it’s just not helpful for the space I’m trying to create here.
My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.
Even though asking for what I want is still weirdly uncomfortable for me, I’m practicing!
Thanks.
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Oh my gosh Havi, you just know exactly how to ease things into the proper places smoothly! I know personally I am so eager to get my message out there, that I schedule free teleclasses and plan to launch things in 2 weeks, just like you mentioned.
It’s hard when you’ve got so much bubbling inside, but you haven’t gotten your right people to that place yet.
Thank you soooo much! This was just the right advice for me!
Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..Saying Thank You: Raw Food Gratitude
Havi, thank you for offering such a clear, compassionate overview of what is often muddy terrain.
Reach, safety, time, and doing both the inner and outer work . . . Seems so obvious, except when I’m floundering in the throes of my pictures about What If and Yes But the steps to take become strangely invisible. 🙂
I’ve been inching my way towards teaching teleclasses this fall, offering a healing retreat, and recording audio products. I’ve printed out your post today, and pinned it up above my desk . . . a lovely reminder of how to go about this, one step at a time.
Thank you!
Much love, Hiro
Hiro Bogas last blog post..What I Learned About Life & Business From Crossing The Road In Bombay
Great Post and I have saved this one to read later.
As for what I’m working on biggifying:
I started Content Feast (a user ratings and review platform for e-content) because when I wanted to use one, I couldn’t find one. I wasn’t comfortable merely relying on sales pages or author-selected testimonials.
In fact, I once got myself into trouble by working with a vendor who was just not right for me, and saw later that they had some complaints against them (on twitter) that would have made me think twice).
So I made this thing and started listing a few e-courses and e-books, except no one is submitting reviews! So it’s not helpful, yet, but I hope that it will be. Just need more biggification, I guess.
ContentFeast.com if you’re interested 🙂
Ambers last blog post..Dig Your Job
Well, yeah! So true. So painful, and so true. Business isn’t rocket science, but it’s not paint by numbers, either, and it just takes a bit of focus in several areas.
And golly gee whiz- thanks for the links! Although I learned some of that from other people, it was truly and deeply learned through painful trial and error from having people not show up. Argh.
You rock, neighbor.
Mark Silvers last blog post..When Business Owner and Caretaker Roles Collide
@Nathalie – that’s such a good point! It’s not like we hurry into things for the wrong reasons necessarily – it’s just our eagerness to put the thing out into the world.
We skip the whole gestation period. Interesting …
@Hiro – oh good. And I cannot WAIT to take all your classes when they are ready for the world. Because the stuff you teach is so completely transformational and amazing.
@Mark – exactly, painful trial and error. And deep self-work. And focus. Good call. Thanks for all the brilliant content I get to lean into!
@Amber – what an interesting idea! Very. That has to feel frustrating wanting it to take off and not knowing where it’s going yet.
(unsolicited advice which you can feel free to ignore: you might want to do some usability testing on that. You can use Steve Krug’s freebie downloads on how to do that and what to ask people. You want to find out what people think the site is about and what they think they’re supposed to do there and what their questions are.
So for example, I just went to the site and found myself wondering all sorts of things like …
— who is running this and for what purpose?
— is it a team of people or one person?
— will I have to log-in to leave a review?
— what’s to keep certain biggifiers from having their people slant the reviews towards the positive?
— will people be using real names to review things or will this become an anonymous hitlist?
— are there community rules or guidelines? what’s cool and what’s not?
Anyway, I’m obviously not a very big sample. 🙂 But if you can get ten people to talk to you in a controlled usability testing scenario, you’ll know a lot more about what needs to go on the about page and the FAQ.
End of unsolicited advice.)
Good luck with your project!
this is kind of where I am right now and this is so helpful. I think I’d got to the main point (that it isn’t that people aren’t interested) though I’m still stuck on how to get my right people to somewhere where I can work on getting them to yes.
So I’m focusing on the stuff I’ve been doing for a few years now, because that brings in money, and slowly working on the other stuff.
Realizing that it is going to be slow is a big first step. And hard when the line of credit is a bigger number than I’d like. But I think letting ideas percolate and working on them slowly is going to work better in the end.
JoVEs last blog post..What if you had an RTS?
teehehe
Reminds me of when Michael from the office sets up an online event for the pancake luncheon.
“Six yes’s, one maybe, only eleven no’s. And seven hundred and eighty-eight not-yet-replied’s..
But! Of that group, seven hundred and eighty-two have viewed it.”
Hm, I’m afraid the place where I am is more “maybe I’m not interested in my thing.”
This morning I slept through hour 1 of my morning Thing-time, and used hour 2 to do yoga. Which was great, because I love this yoga, <3 <3 <3, but it didn’t get any e-mails answered.
The thing I’m biggifying at the moment is a series of tutorials on my blog about making comics. I can’t even say nobody is interested, because I’m getting some feedback and the people like it. I’m amazed at how hard the “talking about it” part is, though. I know how it’s done, I’ve even signed up to some new, er, I mean, *forum-sites* specifically to talk about it, but that post saying ‘hey, I’m doing this thing, lookit!’ just doesn’t seem to come out. I’m not even talking about it on my “home” forum, what’s up with that?
That would be, situation normal, then.
Oh, and did I tell you about my mini-ebook? It’s about being creative, and it’s kinda funny, and free, and I’ll let you all know when it’s coming out, K? But don’t hold your breath. =_=;
By the way: digging the Content reviews idea! Will check that out.
i love your bog; i’ve been reading for several months and it blows my mind at least twice a week!
i have a business (designing and selling knitting patterns) that i’ve grown over the last two years (mostly through internet word of mouth and through blogging) with which i am now supporting my whole household. i have worked VERY hard; after one year i was able to shed my “day job” completely, but replaced all those hours by working more on my business to be secure about the income from it. (and it’s all very exciting and thrilling; i’ve loved almost very minute)
so. my new goal is to biggify enough MORE that i can pull back a little and get some parts of my previous life back, like regular exercise, cooking more real meals, and spending some off time with my partner (who is extremely supportive of my business).
(i do have a virtual assistant and my husband also works with me now)
sales continue to grow, but i know that there is a whole big wholesale market out there that i haven’t tapped yet (right now, i wholesale only to people who find me and i’d like to expand). i know nothing about finding and working with distributors and getting the word out PAST the internet (we are talking about the market that may not even participate in the internet).
i’ve been very comfortable (and successful) using the internet to create and grow my business but the realm of non-internet marketing and business flummoxes me . . . paper marketing seems SO inefficient!
i see this new part of my business as almost a separate entity from what i’m already doing; a behind-the-scenes ongoing machine, so to speak, where we publish and ship patterns and books in quantity.
how do i make the time to do the research and put together the plan for this when i currently spend most of my waking hours taking care of the business i HAVE?
what are the most efficient ways to find the right people (distributors, audience, retailers, etc) without using the internet?
and what are the best ways to become visible to them?
it’s almost too big an idea for me right now, but i’ve gotten used to having ideas feel this way at the beginning.
annes last blog post..regatta sock
All of this describes where I am and where I’m headed (and I haven’t even launched the thing!) and is super helpful.
Huge lightbulb for me – if I’m thinking I’d maybe like to teach a course in the next few months, I should probably start planning it and offering it right now. Which seems brilliant after reading your post, but was not at all obvious to my scrambled brain beforehand.
Also, I won a (teeny, tiny, seriously small) thingy this week, and it brought up all of this stuff about not wanting to be too shiny. Is that to do with being afraid of biggification? I love that you write that this marketing & biggifying stuff is only a means to an end – relieves loads of pressure!
As always, full of gratitude for this post!
Brianas last blog post..How to blog (I really haven’t the foggiest)
I’m not ready to biggify my thing yet, but I’m so eager to get to that point that I have the same bubbles inside me as nathalie. Actually, something you said to Nathalie was a great image for me right now! My thing is natural birth stuff (much more specific than that, but I’m feeling protective of my specifics at the moment) and thinking about this period of my life as the gestational period for my birth work-to-be is a fantastically useful and comforting way to stay in the here-and-now, really-fun-and-exciting time where I get to learn a lot about the stuff I want to do, myself, and why this stuff feels so right to me. Sorta like in pregnancy, you are (possibly) feeling so excited to meet your baby, raise your baby, your baby is coming!!!! But we have 9 months to become the parent for that baby that is coming, 9 months to prepare for the new life and NEW JOB of meeting that baby’s needs while getting our own met. Which, wow, sounds a lot like working for yourself.
The point is, thanks for the image.
Hi Havi-
Love your blog! Janet Goldstein directed me to you and I am so glad she did!
I join you in your efforts of asking for specifics and the help you need!
Al la Elizabeth Gilbert, just two nights ago I drafted a petition to God, with LOTS of specifics around a request I have regarding the book I am working on. It worked for Elizabeth and while my own spiritual/prayer life has suffered from a massive case of multiple personality disorder these last few years, I figure can’t hurt to put it out there!
Consider any “petitions” of sort you’ve drafted on paper or otherwise signed by me!
Stephanie Baffones last blog post..The Petition
Thanks so much for this post, Havi. I’m printing it out and putting it in my “biggification binder” so I have it when My Thing is ready to be introduced to the world.
Jenny Ryans last blog post..Yet Another Reason We Have Cats, And Not Children
Havi, you’ve hit the nail on the head again. It’s frustrating that this biggification thing takes time, but we’re still stuck with it. May as well try to have fun with it in the meantime. 🙂
My biggifiers:
Online sci-fi/paranormal romance serial novel Strange Little Band
Sci-fi/drama web series “Reservation”
Finding freelance editing clients. (My best prospect currently is a coworker who’s dealing with his own “my novel’s not good enough/no one’s interested” stuff. I’ve told him that his YA story isn’t my usual cup of tea, and I love it anyway. That’s not enough to get him over the hump, though.)
Stuff I’ve been thinking about:
I was talking to my monster in the shower the other day (I do a lot of really random visual thinking in the shower), and I asked it, hey, why do I have so much resistance to Self Care?
And it said, and I am still surprised by and resisting this idea mightily, “Because if you get too good at taking care of yourself, and too independent, no one else will ever take care of you again.”
So I was flabbergasted for a moment, and then I asked, “Is this why we keep lowering my income bit by bit? Because you think if it gets low enough I’ll have to find someone to take care of me again?”
“Yup,” it said smugly.
And that was it for conversation, because my brain really felt this was just about the stupidest idea ever, which wasn’t really conducive. I haven’t got the end part of the monster thing down yet, clearly. 😉
But whoa, what a thought! I want to be cared for, of course, but my head wants to be able to care for myself first and then offer it to others. I just have to get the monsters along with the program.
So, my biggifiers:
I’m looking for a few good clients at Not Dead Yet Studios.
I’m slowly working on getting my art commission site open — you can see (in my CommentLuv link) that I’m already doing commissions without a site specifically for it, heh. I actually have about half my queue filled with people to whom I owe money and who’ve decided to collect in art instead (heh), but I’d love to get the other half filled. And if it filled to overflowing, then I wouldn’t even need more clients! Ah, the dreams we have. And oh, the resistance to biggifying all of that. Gah.
Amy Crooks last blog post..Commission: Till the Walls Shall Crumble to Ruin
Oh, how I needed to read this right now!
I’ve just launched a new site: I Wasn’t There.
And it’s still so new, I’ve hardly told anyone about it yet, and it’s still very much a work in progress because I’m still uploading designs.
And I’m feeling vulnerable.
People have visited. That’s good. But no-one’s bought anything. Yet.
I have to keep reminding myself about the “yet” part of this. About how there’s not much on there for people to buy YET. About how I haven’t even designed all the cool ideas that are in my head YET. How I haven’t even done much of the M-word stuff YET.
And I feel much better after reading your post. Thank you.
You’re being psychic again, Havi. I’d pretty much told myself all those things, including that MY internet crush who often sends people to me already is away from the computer this month due to a death in her family, but it was nice to hear them from someone completely unrelated to me. 🙂 Thank you thank you. I’m still excited about my thing. I’m still working on the “getting the word out.” Heck, I’ve just STARTED with the “getting the word out” which is a MUCH better phrase than “marketing” is a word.
Anyway. Thank you again.
What I’m doing now:
1. Modifying my site to have more information people need to feel comfortable.
2. Trying to figure out this Twittery thing (I’m deRomilly as of last week).
3. Still working on the thing in the background.
4. Telling YOU what I’m doing!
G. Romillys last blog post..Book Review – Alabama Stitch Book
The timing of my finding this post of yours is downright eerie. It could not have arrived at a better time. I think I love you! (In a decidedly friendly, non-creepy way.)
alices last blog post..Please, oh please, no advice.
I was just going through another round of exactly this (the “no one is interested”) and decided that since “no one is interested” I may as well have some fun. Today I’ve spent time in the studio, actually producing some stuff. And I come downstairs to find this post to remind me and comfort me and push me (in a loving gentle way of course) and it is just what I needed to hear.
I will post more when the blog/etsy is updated 😀
Andis last blog post..Winner!
Hi Havi,
I’m new to your site and really enjoying the content, all of which I seriously need to read right about now.
We are biggifying helping people who are moving and are completely stressed out about the process or who have no time to address it. (www.WeKnowWhereToStart.com)
My question is: how do I get comfortable with this gestation thing? I want to be a human who gives birth (to a successful business) in 9 months, but I’m feeling like I somehow morphed into an elephant who has passed their 24-month due date and the vet needs to induce!
Love it.
@Laurie – I feel you on the elephant thing. Sometimes I just go with “Yeah, giving birth is hard and weird, and stuff is growing and changing at the right pace for it, and I’m just going to try and give myself as much comfort and support as I can stand.”
And then some temper tantrums sometimes too.
p.s. your business is location-oriented, right? It seems (just, you know, at first two-minute survey) like the “HERE’S WHERE WE ARE”-ness of it should be louder somehow … that way people who aren’t your Right People because of location (like me) can still point your Right People who are in the right place to you more easily. Just a thought — feel free to ignore. 🙂
@Amy Crook – wow. That is one helluva story. Good thing your monsters know what’s up.
Will be interesting to see what comes from that. What a hugely useful piece of information! Have you been doing Dance of Shiva, you sneaky girl?
Because man, that sounds like a Shiva Nata MOMENT to me!
@emilylime – yes, exactly! That’s why growth periods are so weird because growing is this quiet thing that wants patience and there’s no way we can be patient with it. Sigh.
@Briana – yeah, the “not wanting to be too shiny” thing is an interesting one. Very common. And it’s about remembering that your shining help other people be shiny … and that it can actually bring you a new kind of safety. But it’s weird getting there. I still have a lot of that one left to work on too. *sighs*
xo
Thanks so much for this post, Havi. As several others have said, it’s so timely, as well as a perfect way to break down the spiraling self-doubt. Thanks also to everyone who has commented; it’s good to know I’m not alone in having these doubts.
What I’m working on –
My thing is musical instrument images. Rich, intimate portraits that show instruments as beautiful sculptures. My theory is that musicians and music lovers are my right people; now I need to help them find me.
I think I’m in a place similar to JoVE’s. Rationally, I believe in the interest. Creating a space where my right people will indulge their interest is the confounding part right now. Not that I’ve exactly been shouting from the rooftops yet. Frankly, my rational side has a really hard time getting my artist side to come out and talk to all the nice people.
Another struggle is the argument artist-me keeps having with practical-New-Englander-me about usefulness. Most of the biz advice I read (plenty!) either starts with or comes round to who you serve and what problem you solve for them. So, what problem does any artwork solve for a given audience? I’m having a very hard time convincing myself that it does at all. Art is a want: it feeds a desire, not a need. Perhaps I have trouble seeing a space on the wall over the couch as a true “need” when there are so many real and unmet needs in our world. Or maybe I should just stop trying to convince myself that everything needs to solve a problem. Any thoughts on that?
Thanks again, Havi for providing such a wonderful space for working these things out.
Liz Grandmaisons last blog post..Buried Treasures
@Willie Hewes I find the process of creating comics very interesting, so I’ll be checking it out more. Also, I have a friend working on a graphic novel, so I’ll be sure to pass on the link to him.
As for myself, clarity about what to biggify is my stumbling block now. Sort of falters around what seems tangible or worthy. You often talk about how a person’s thing will help others, and my brain keeps tripping on that word ‘help’ since courses, self-help stuff and the like don’t fall into my thing realm really.
I still got a lot out of this post though. It made me realize something about my blog. In the 1st couple years, I went through stat-hungry phases and periods of thinking no one’s interested in my writing, but I was able to let that go and be content with a handful of readers. The catch is that I extrapolated “No one is interested in my thing” type conclusions about the worth of certain writing/photography that’s probably not valid.
Being an introvert with a tremendous aversion to self-promotion does not help. Nonetheless…
For your enjoyment:
Hamlet was my undoing: an all too true tale of drama, unrequited love, misdirection, and the prom.
The Road is my Favorite Place: Day 3 of my cross country road trip. Exquisite photographs of the drive from Nephi to Torrey, UT and Capitol Reef National Park, complete with tales from the road.
No ads, no fees, just stories, photos, various musings and goofiness.
claires last blog post..Summer treat: 3Way
Havi, thank you so much for the feedback on our website! I agree we need to make it more clear that we are available anywhere in the US, but that travel costs apply when we work outside of the Greater Puget Sound area. (business partner chiming in over my shoulder–“website 3.0!”) 😉
Havi:
I am biggifying my desire to be a source of information and insight for people who need clarity about a certain situation. I want to do this with personalized i-ching readings. I’m struggling with getting over the “woowooyness” of it because I’m not a woowooey girl. I’ve just found that this is such a great way for me to get little clues on what I need to do because I suck at meditation and yoga and other things that could work just as well.
As soon as I realize that no one is going to think I’m trying out for Psychic of the Year, I think I’ll be able to biggify better.
Annie
Annie Binnss last blog post..Pride Tastes Like Shit
I love this post, and I also love that it lets us all know, Um, that happens to everyone. You try a thing, it works a tiny bit or not at all. You try another angle, maybe it works like one or two molecules better.
Eventually it works. But it’s totally normal, and probably the most common outcome, to take a lot of fiddling to get things moving.
Sonia Simones last blog post..What’s Your Tribe’s Secret Language?
Havi–
Creepy. Sometimes I feel like you read my mind. Then I read all these comments and you’re reading everyone else’s mind, too. You are either a) psychic or b) very knowledgeable about all this stuff. I’m guessing it’s intuitive
So, this week I freaked. I felt all ready to biggify. I freaked out and went back to my retail management past and reverted back to DCRM. Direct Customer Related *shudder* Marketing. Yup, flyers.
Double yick. And angry GRRRRR at myself.
WHY? WHY did I do that? Just when I was committed (or though I was committed) to really showing how my approach to healing relationships and increasing understanding between people and pooches, I ditched all my super-cool spiritual stuff and went back to crap like ‘free consultation’ and every other dumb 3 am infomercial buzzword.
But I guess wasting energy on being angry isn’t the most productive thing. But it’s real. And I’m trying to get back to real.
I’m about ready to get a little sick to my stomach, but I really want to ask anyone who has the time to check out my last blog entry at http://softandgoodnight.blogspot.com . What I want to know is if I telling you about my interactions with dogs like Gus makes you think, “This is someone I would want to help me (or suggest a friend read) to help reconnect with my pooch.” I really just want feedback right now. Or maybe I want hand-holding before I go back to the drawing board and try attempt #2 at being authentic and real and not creepy.
Asking for what I want is hard. And queasy feeling.
I am committed to listening to your comments and giving them my full attention and really kind of marinate with them before responding.
melissas last blog post..Walking Meditation
Hi Havi – thank you for this post! It has really reinforced some stuff for me about timing, and not expecting all the magic to happen straight away.
A couple of months ago I launched a website about binge eating disorder, and right now I’m focusing on building an audience, so that maybe down the track I can offer other things. The rational side of me says ‘hey, it’s only been two months, and so far you have had about 500 page views – don’t be too hard on yourself’, whereas the emotional side of me says ‘but I’ve poured my heart into this project, where is everybody??’ And I worry if I’m wasting my time and if it’s all a reflection on how I’ve failed.
Your post, though, helped me remember that all good things do, in fact, take time, and that if I just keep working on it bit by bit it will become the fabulous resource that I know it can be.
Kellys last blog post..Can GM feed the world?
I tried to leave a comment and it didn’t exactly work. So just a quick “thanks for your blog, it made a lot of sense” will have to suffice.
melissas last blog post..Walking Meditation
Thanks for another great post, Havi! (And for all of the great comments so far.)
I’ve been working towards starting my own business, but
I’m constantly amazed at how creative I can be at either finding ways to prevent myself from moving forward or to at least slow down the process (ahem, stuckness and procrastination, anyone?).
I’ve been taking baby steps on the stuckness, including blogging and tweeting more consistently, but in trying to overcome the hurdle of “I can’t do my thing until I know exactly what it is (and, of course, I can do it perfectly) I’m now running into the “no one is interested in my thing” challenge. Sigh. Maybe I need a mini personal ad (or a petition,, like @Stephanie) for patience and compassion. 🙂
Jennifer Breazeales last blog post..Re: About
Thank you for the comfort, Havi. It was the just-right word-embrace I’ve been needing.
This past June 21st — Summer Solstice — I put something out for highly sensitive people (an ebook and monthly audio-love), and I have felt naked and trembling ever since.
Lots of page views + low conversion = postpartum sadness.
There’s probably much more M-related working in the hard for me to do. But I’m so pooped… you know, after all that pushing and panting. Mama just wants a nap. And a hug. Which you gave. Because you are an earth angel.
P.S. I followed the clue-crumb, and can’t wait for the teleclass.
Thank you for the comfort, Havi. It was the just-right word-embrace I’ve been needing.
This past June 21st I put something out for highly sensitive people (http://www.joyful-work-for-sensitive-people.com/youve-got-nerve.html), and I have felt naked and trembling ever since.
Lots of page views + low conversion = postpartum sadness.
There’s probably much more M-related working in the hard for me to do. But I’m so pooped… you know, after all that pushing and panting. Mama just wants a nap. And a hug. Which you gave. Because you are an earth angel.
P.S. I followed the clue-crumb, and can’t wait for the teleclass.
Erika Harriss last blog post..“Happy Independence Day!” from Our Beloved President Obama
Thank you. I just launched a new business, and this is exactly (exactly!) what I’m going through right now.
Joys last blog post..Composed Asian Salad
Once again Havi, thanks so much for posting this. I’m finally getting off my butt and teaching workshops and teleseminars (previously, I’ve been giving away my services). And while it (seemingly) might not be filling up to the capacity that I would love to see, it’s getting there.
So thanks for the reminders and the good thoughts.
~Katy
@kat_taf
PS – I’m loving these “asking for what I want” exercises.
Katys last blog post..Have You Registered for the Blogging Strategies for Your Business Teleseminar on 7/15?
One of the most helpful posts ever, Havi. Wow.
I’m biggifying to help people learn how to use their intuition in practical ways. I’m particularly interested in how people make decisions and choices and want to understand how to recognize intuition in that process. By recognize, I don’t just mean “notice” – I also mean recognize as “honor”. It’s ultimately about learning how to trust.
This work will turn into a report about intuitive decision making and classes about intuitive marketing as I believe lots of people are interested in learning how to market from a natural and comfortable position. I’m struggling with giving these activities the time that they deserve.
Thanks for the chance to give these ideas – and the struggle – some air. Best to you.
Laurie Foleys last blog post..What is Stopping You?
I feel almost like this post was written specifically to me (though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t). I’ve been trying to fill a workshop I’m giving at the end of the month since early June, and nothing’s happening. ALL of the points you mention really spoke to me, and gave me ideas of things I can be working on.
On a larger level, I wonder if I’m working on the right thing. I’m trying to specialize in helping creative professionals organize their space, time & information to help their businesses grow, but I wonder if I’m not just coming across as a pale imitation of Jen of Inspired Home Office. So I think I’m still trying to find my specific spot for my thing.
Thanks for the post, Havi!
Catherine Cantieri, Sorteds last blog post..The 5 types of freedom getting Sorted can give you
@Catherine – oh, I’m glad.
Also … if there were a hundred pale imitations of Inspired Home Office Jen? The world would be a better place. More Jen in the world = good. More Catherine in the world = good. More compassion and sorting and help in the world = good.
Just a thought! 🙂
This “Important Question #2”? So so true! I’m the queen of the unasked questions, I have thousands of them when I consider getting something, and when I read that part of your post, the first thing that came to mind was this:
If anyone here who’s about to launch something wants to make sure they haven’t overlooked important unasked questions, get in touch with me: I definitely can help! Really, I’m serious.
Second thought: hey, that could be a perfect niche for me!
The stuff I soon will have to work on biggifying: the “project I’m working on” that I’ve mentioned here quite a few times already. It’s not really unnamed, it’s just that I’ve been too shy to call it by its name in public yet, because it’s *so* not ready for prime time. I have the website hosting, I have the domain name, and the site architecture is planned. I don’t have a design yet, and I have yet to do serious content writing. That’s what I intend to be working on at the retreat in Taos.
Ok, huge step forward here: I’ll say what it’s about. Deep breath. I’m a vegetarian and I love traveling. I’m also a helper mouse. So I’m building a website through which my helper mouse self will offer useful tips in the hopes of helping fellow veg travelers overcome the challenge that are often posed to them on their trips. There, I said it. Now, it won’t be easy to hit the submit button… another deep breath… click.