A while back I wrote about the “no one is interested in my thing” phenomenon.
You know, when we jump to the big crazy conclusion that the reason people aren’t calling or hiring us or buying our stuff is that we suck. A lot. Clearly.
And yeah, that’s us getting sidetracked by our stuff again. Which totally happens.
But what about when you’ve (mostly) gotten over yourself the “I suck” bit? When you really, truly know (or mostly know) your thing is good … but still, no one is actually taking you up on it?
Oof. It’s frustrating and horrible. And worse than that, it’s confusing — because you don’t know why they aren’t showing up.
Here’s why.
You haven’t yet given them enough of a reason to say yes.
It’s not that your Right People are screaming NO. It’s not that they’re running away.
It’s just that they haven’t been — at least not enough of them — saying yes.
Instead, there might be a bunch of people saying things like this:
- “Huh. This is seriously interesting. I’d really like to do it, but I don’t know if now is the right time.”
- “Mmmm, I like this idea, but I’ll have to see if I have the money and come back later. I just wish I could really be sure that coaching will help me solve this thing.”
- “Wow. That does look neat. Well, maybe the next time he offers it.”
They’re into you. It’s just that they’re still … waiting. For a reason to say yes.
You haven’t given them enough of a reason to say yes.
It’s so much easier to keep on not-deciding.
I mentioned Victoria’s excellent post about decision making a few weeks ago.
It’s about how to pare down the time spent on those interminable “should I stay or should I go” types of decisions by finding out what would shift the decision from an agonizing one into a no-brainer.
Well, guess what? You have to do the same thing with whatever it is you’re offering.
If you’re not making it ridiculously easy for the other person to say “I’m in!”, you’re leaving them adrift in the decision-making process.
Without actively working in that special something to make it a no-brainer, your Right People could easily remain stuck in indecision-mode.
And in my experience, a mind stuck in indecision will almost always default to the safe answer of “no”. Or it will just stagnate in not-saying-yes mode until it’s too late and the decision has been made through not being made.
This is kind of like the thing that people (biggifiers and software user-interface designers and smart markety people) say — “a confused mind says no“.
Yes, it’s annoying, but ohmygod is it ever true.
Making space for the yes.
So. What can turn your thing (your class, your program, your coaching, your product) into a no-brainer? Something people want to say yes to?
I have five ideas, but first I want to mention two things to watch out for:
First, you want to be wary of the temptation to use super-low price as the way to make it a no-brainer. Doesn’t help you or them. Pricing is sacred.
The other thing: this is where a lot of the biggifiers talk about creating urgency. And what you have to watch out for with that is whipped-up urgency often comes with a side dish of emotional manipulation.
Which, to my way of thinking, is really not cool.
But there are still ways to spark excitement without using your powers for evil or making people feel bad about themselves. Your urgency can be hot without being sleazy.
So, keeping those things in mind, here’s a quick run-through of five things that make it easier for your Right People to give you a yes.
Five ingredients of a yes:
1. Limits
Limits are sexy. But they can’t be too arbitrary, or they stop making sense. Which is … less sexy.
Limits require a rational reason.
Right? People will cock an eyebrow if you only make ten copies of an ebook available. It’s an ebook. It’s not like there are extra production costs for creating more than one.
But if you’re offering an hour of your time at a reduced rate when someone buys the ebook (as I used to do with the Procrastination Dissolve-o-matic), it totally makes sense that this is something that only ten people can do.
You can limit time. Or you can limit availability.
2. Proof
Testimonials, baby. You want pithy quotes from someone who looks and sounds like one of your Right People, talking about how your thing blew them away by being even more awesome than it sounded.
3. An exit strategy
Also known as a guarantee.
Having an assurance that if “it’s not my thing I don’t have to stay with it” lets me know that I can crawl out if necessary. Giving me an out make it feel safer to come in.
4. Address objections
Your Right People are smart. They may have all sorts of completely legitimate reasons for worrying that your thing isn’t going to help them.
This is where you get to meet them where they are and create safety. Oh, and spend some time answering their unasked questions.
5. And of course, not being a fakerooney
You kind of have to sound like a real human being — the real human being that you actually are.
Otherwise there’s going to be cognitive dissonance every time you say markety-blah-blah stuff that doesn’t really come from you. People pick up on that lack of authenticity, subconsciously hear it as “phony”, and then it stops being a no-brainer.
I know, I know, this is way harder than it sounds, because it can be a very subtle distinction to make, but keep it in mind.
Because not saying things like “But wait — there’s more!” is pretty much the most important thing when it comes to speaking to your Right People. Unless your Right People happen to consist of the audiences of early-80s infomercials.
IMPORTANT! Exceptions and caveats.
This is the weird thing about giving advice. It’s all totally, 100% absolutely solid — but I don’t always follow it myself.
So this is kind of one of those “do what I say, not what I do” deals.
Why? Because you aren’t always going to want to make it easy to say yes.
Here are a couple of examples from my own business:
Arbitrary limits.
Naomi and I taught a (completely brilliant) class last year about how to make the monies even — especially? — when people aren’t buying because things are recession-ey and horrible.
Compared to everything else we’ve ever done, it was insanely affordable,
And when we decided to finally bring the original sale price up to full price (soon?), we ended up deciding to limit time and availability: you’ll still be able to get it at the old sale price ($19) for two weeks. OR until one hundred people have gotten it, whichever comes first.
But wait, you say, what about that thing you wrote about random limits? Well, if a ton of people are already interested in your thing, setting a artificially low limit is rational. It’s weird, but it works.
We know it will sell out before the two weeks are up, so it’s a way of sorting out who is really excited about our stuff … and who’s on the fence. The fence-folks will miss out, and in this particular case, that’s okay with us.
In the meantime, we can set a time limit — even though there’s no way it will actually last that long.
Intentionally making it hard to decide.
When I lead a retreat, I don’t want to help people say yes. I actually want them to be 100% sure about what they want, without my help.
So with my upcoming Sacramento program? No testimonials. No guarantee.
In fact, I basically said that I’m going to keep half your money even if you don’t come. I gave more reasons for people not to come than to show up. And it still sold out.
I can be hard to get like this because I’ve invested gazillions of hours into developing my stuff, and because I am very, very clear about what kind of people I want there. The ones who are already completely sure that spending a day with me and Selma doing biggification magic is exactly what they need.
But if this was my first time doing something like this? Ohmygod would things be different.
I’d have raving testimonials up there. I’d be linking to all the posts about the hot, buttered epiphanies people got from my North Carolina workshop. I’d answer every possible subconscious objection, and I’d pack the sign-up page with things that — if I were the one reading it — would make me say yes yes yes I’m in!
Yes, I write copy for me. Because I’m a total cynic. So if I can write things that don’t make me roll my eyes, it’s probably good enough for my Right People. But that’s another post.
That’s it.
Hope it’s helpful.
And hugs all around for the hard. I know this whole topic is frustrating and super trigger-ey.
Also, gah. I’m sorry. There is so much experimenting to be done when you’re biggifying. We’re always trying stuff. And trying stuff and having it not work is exhausting and depressing.
So if there’s stuff in here that stresses you out, you have my permission to ignore it. Take the bits that work for you and leave the rest for some other time.
Comment zen for today …
We’re all working on our stuff. We’re doing the best we can. We try not to step on each other’s stuff. We’re practicing.
Yes! So useful, so right, and a great reminder. I think for me the big one is to write copy that won’t make me roll my eyes. It’s something I’m still working on, but at least I know I need to do it.
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..Let’s Change the World Together: It’s a Freak Revolution =-.
Oh. My. Source. I could have used this about three months ago, Havi!
Now to go make a “thing” they hafta hafta hafta have…
.-= Mark W. “Extra Crispy” Schumann´s last blog ..On Velocity, and Being the Chump =-.
Great post. I’m currently stuck in the “But… I must suck!” doldrums, so this is exactly what I needed to hear. 🙂
One thing that’s helped me with getting people to buy in the past (or helped others get me to buy their stuff) is empathy. Like, understanding that the person is not just trying to sell you stuff to make a buck, but actually understands your situation and frustrations – and is offering the “thing” to you in order to make that problem or situation better.
Which is totally why I love Havi’s stuff, of course, because she _does_ understand. Thank you!
.-= Charlotte´s last blog ..Brother-in-Law Syndrome: or, Why Your Technology Sucks =-.
I’m starting to think you may have some super secret way of eavesdropping on my inner thoughts and needs, and then writing blog posts to that. Seriously- it’s eery how many times your blog posts talk to exactly what’s on the top of my mind. Lucky me!
This is beautifully articulated and I love that you’ve given both ingredients and caveats to those ingredients- it’s nice to keep in mind that there are a multitude of ways to do these things, and that nothing’s set in stone. The set in stone people wind up being the “but wait! there’s more!” people. S
So thanks again for reminding me that this whole biggification thing is an art- and one that is very much not of the paint by numbers variety.
Just the right article at just the right time for me. Like manna from heaven! Thank you!
Great advice, but like a lot of great advice I’ve read lately, it makes me seriously think that it’s very, very hard for someone other than you to write your copy. And I dream w/ the day I can have someone else — Sonia, perhaps? — write my copy, because it’s painful for me. I just want to write about my thing…
.-= Andrea/True Nourishment´s last blog ..Chocolate Cake Philosophy =-.
Thanks Havi. I’m doing way more things right than I give myself credit for. Of course, I’ve learned nearly everything I know from you and Naomi and Charlie and Mark.
But I did go back to my latest thing’s sales page and disclaim why I chose 10 as my limit (emphasis on add more Mynde, and do less explaaaaining).
And I will be following up on the additional nudge I received from this post about answering the unanswered questions. So thank you and…
I heart you very much. Give Selma my love too!
.-= Mynde´s last blog ..Tech Savvy 101: Domain Names =-.
Wow! A dear friend forwarded me this link. I’d not read your stuff before… I want more! Great! and Thank you so much.
Jennifer Jane Lingo
What really stuck out to me was the “pricing is sacred” bit. When we confer monetary value onto a product or idea, we are in many ways mapping a spiritual, social, political, emotional value onto it. What I mean is that the value is not about the money, but the meaning.
The art world is one such example. How does a Picasso or a Damien Hirst sell for millions? It sells because an aura is created around it, a value that defies logic and intrigues us. It’s beyond measure.
Working in galleries and museums opened my eyes to this concept, and hopefully it offers something new. . .
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last blog ..Echo Decorate =-.
“We’re practicing”
Yes, yes, yes 🙂 One of the epiphanies I had last week after doing some Shiva Nata was that I have this pattern of thinking everything is a test. And that it’s either “pass” (yay no more test on that) or “fail” (ugh, not this *again*). But it can be practice. And it’s ok to make a mistake and try again. Even when (maybe especially when) working on biggifying.
Thank you!!
.-= Andi´s last blog ..Excellent Opportunity =-.
“A confused mind says no.” – Oh how true. I say this because I have a phrase (which to be fair I normally use when clothes shopping more than anything) which is, “If in doubt say no.”
Although this post just made me realise how much time I spend using that elsewhere in my life and I’m not so impressed with just how much it is…!
.-= Wormy´s last blog ..Getting to the bones of my “Ask” =-.
Wow, thanks for this incredible post. I offered “my thing” for for free to 50 people and only had ten people take me up on it in two weeks… not a big success by my standards, and I was totally confused. Your advice is totally on the mark. Now I feel like I have some tools to help me turn some “confused minds” or on the fence people into “yes!” people. Thanks so much!
.-= Dee Wilcox´s last blog ..Art is Everywhere. This Week: Daily Drop Cap =-.
Havi, you are reading my mind again.
Thank you so much for this post. I’m currently doing the “just say no” thing myself, and in this economy, I think more and more people are doing it more often. Knowing that doesn’t make it easier when it’s MY stuff they’re saying “no” to, however. LOL
Onward and upward, and practice makes better! (’cause we’re human: never perfect)
.-= G. Romilly´s last blog ..Just when I thought Cashmere was expensive… =-.
Havi, you totally inspire me. I love your blog because I love your voice, and I feel like I am listening to a real person. Which I am, but you are probably the best at that of anyone I read. Because of it, I am able to accept what you have to say, and I appreciate that so much.
To biggifying, in a way that I can live with! 🙂
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Walking, Walking Away =-.
Wow Havi, great summary! I’ve heard all these things at various times, but seeing everything spelled out succinctly is great.
And I agree, the standard “create urgency” stuff just gives me hives. Ick.
I especially appreciated your explanation of the difference between what you do and what someone just starting out needs to do. Very helpful. Thank you!
.-= Barbara J Carter´s last blog ..Meet me in Manhattan Beach =-.
Hi Havi, thanks for a particularly brilliant post. I love your ability to help people with ‘marketing’ without degenerating into sleazeville.
.-= Fi´s last blog ..Creative Cauldron – SoFoBoMo and Environmental Art =-.
Oh my gosh, talk about timing!
These last couple days, I’ve been banging myself over my head (I know . . big nasty pain!) with questions about why no one much is reading my blog posts, much less spending any real time on my site. I mean I’ve only been posting for about two years, and I realize people don’t like to be rushed and all . . but ………..
And wondering if maybe I should just give it up and call myself a failure and . . and . . then I thought maybe I should just start being totally honest in my blog posts and say what I’m really thinking – even the not so nice stuff – because no one’s reading them anyway so it wouldn’t really matter. It wouldn’t be as if all those people would stop hiring me . . but ……….
And her you go and write this Havi post, and make my pathetic world all the more crazy than it already is. Geee Havi . . you make so much sense . . I just don’t know if you make it better, or more complicated.
In any case, thanks my friend.
.-= Gail McConnon´s last blog ..Aging Alone versus Aging ALONE: Only one perspective counts =-.
Wow, Havi, this is amazingly helpful.
And quite an a-ha moment, since it hadn’t occurred to me that I could take this no-brainer scenario concept, flip it around and apply it to helping my Right People say yes.
Definitely a lot to think about here.
Oh you just nailed me on the head with this one:
“Or it will just stagnate in not-saying-yes mode until it’s too late and the decision has been made through not being made.”
For those of you offering a thing? This is pretty much me, all of the time. The number of things I have checked out and then not decided on until it was too late are many.
And Havi, your answers are so right on. I think all of your ingredients of a “yes” would need to be addressed for me to even come close to thinking about a yes. (And then because I’m incredibly skilled at procrastinating, I probably still would wait.)
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Saving Myself (from Myself) =-.
You guys! Are the best.
Seriously. I’m not entirely sure why I thought everyone would absolutely hate this post but I did.
Anyway, thank you. And there was one other thing I wanted to add that I totally forgot to mention but is a wonderful “ingredient” for a yes, and that’s bonuses.
Mark Silver from Heart of Business does this really well. You get a fabulous thing, and then there are other fabulous things that come with it. He does it in a way that feels sincere and not manipulative — take a look.
And I hope everyone is paying attention to what Emily just said. She’s one of those people not-saying-yes but thinking about it. It’s our job to make it easy on her. 🙂
@Gail – oh sweetie, I’m sorry that you’re going through all this hard now. Yuck. And no, not a failure. You’re too much of an interesting person.
@Amber *clinks glass*
@Crispy Mark – ooh, update, please!
Hugs all around.
Oh, the GENIUS of limits! I just bought my first fluent self product…yup, your call with Naomi about the recession. Genius. I’ve long wanted to actually buy some of your genius, and this was the thing that was most affordable for me. Every pay day I click over to your products page, thought about buying it, and was like, “but, it’s not the PERFECT THING for me RIGHT NOW even though yeah, I think it’ll be really useful for me.” Suddenly, when I hear that it will be more pricey very soon, it just seemed so obvious to buy it right right right now.