I wrote a post about closing doors.
And then lost it.
The post, yes?
Which is kind of interesting, given that a lot of what I had to say about closing doors had to do with order.
Anyway.
I am in the process of ordering things. Not around. Just figuring out some new sequences and structures and putting things in their place.
Ending things that need to be ended.
Closing all the doors that need closing.
Here are the questions I’m asking myself today:
- What doors can I close right now?
- What would make my life easier right now?
- What will make this more lighthearted and playful?
- What here needs order?
- And what here could do with a little intentional chaos?
So. Here’s what came up.
What doors can I close right now?
Hmmm.
Most of what’s coming up seems to use the formula of “Follow up with [X] about [Y] so that I can [Z].”
Not a great formula. Because of the built-in iguanas (iguana = anything you don’t feel like doing). Inowanna!
Okay. So stepping around the iguanas for now. What doors can still be closed without having to encounter an iguana?
- I can look for an awesome replacement flashlight (Etsy?)
- Gather my list of questions for the next Drunk Pirate Council.
- 45 minutes of de-piling the pile (and putting the iguanas aside as they show up)
What would make my life easier and/or better right now?
- Clearing away these dishes.
- Inventing a kooky ritual.
- Permission to not have to look at that one thing I thought was going to get some love yesterday but didn’t because I was too depressed about our Rose City Rollers not making it to Nationals.
- A grilled cheese sandwich.
What will make this more lighthearted and playful?
- Going for a walk to clear my head before I need it.
- Music.
- Getting out the fabulous rhinestone gloves.
- Did I say grilled cheese sandwich? I did. Still want one.
What here needs order?
- This giant pile of doom.
- The fog in my head.
- The sequence of doors that need closing.
And what here could do with a little intentional chaos?
Everything, probably.
It’s like in Shiva Nata when we intentionally step into chaos in order to regroup.
We intentionally choose the flailing and the confusion to force the brain to generate creative solutions.
And then we systematically build new patterns. While following exact mathematical sequences.
So aside from doing some Dance of Shiva to The Clash …
What else will give me that sensation of intentional chaos?
What can I turn upside down?
You know what? I’m going to mess up the pile and spread it all over the floor.
And then pretend that there is a sequence to it. And look for clues. And then eat a grilled cheese sandwich.
Play with me?
You can close some doors.
Or ask what would make things easier.
Or find out what needs order and/or chaos? Or have a sandwich.
I would love some company on this one. Because it’s iguana city around here.
As always, we make nice in the comments. We let people have their own experience (because we’re all working on our stuff).
And we don’t give advice (unless someone asks).
Big love to you on this seriously Monday-esque Monday.
For today I plan to clean up my desk and make some nice shiny folders 🙂
Oh, this is very timely. I have just been closing a couple of doors, and it’s a little scary but definitely good.
You’ve actually made me think a little more about this, too; I’ve left one door a little ajar, and actually, maybe I need to close it all the way. I’ll think about that some more.
Another door I really *want* to close but can’t square it with myself for another few months. But telling myself that I *will* shut it then is reassuring and helpful.
.-= Juliet´s last post … Very late potato-planting =-.
Doors. What about the doors that I think might be hidden but still need to be closed. Doors playing hide and go seek. A nagging sense that I left the door open? There is a draft coming in, But where is it?
I definitely have a few iguana’s around, one of which is a volunteer project that has dragged on way too long. It’s not in my area of expertise, but I got railroaded into it. Have to close that door. Sooner the better as the guilt of having it still around is killing my enthusiasm for other things too.
Don’t get me wrong, I like to volunteer and help out where I can, but . . .
I now promise myself that I will never open the door to a volunteer project unless it is really fun, the people are fun, or it takes very little of my time, which is so precious these days.
Okay it’s official. I’ve written it down and today I’m going to close the door on that nagging thing.
One closed, three to go.
.-= Marlene Hielema´s last post … PPI and Resolution Explained =-.
Oh. Oh! (I say that a lot here, don’t I?) This is part of what I love about you; you don’t just give permission to be weird, you give permission to *need* to be weird.
I want to try this Door-closing thing. I have a big important paperwork door I could close in a few hours, but I can’t even start on it because of the stuff on the desk that blocks the way. What I can do to make this more fun and flailing like? Music. Oh, I just watched this safety dance flight attendant YouTube video thing – inspiration!
I could actually create a cleaning-the-desk dance, except that I just realized I hate the phrase cleaning-the-desk. Hmm what if instead of stepping over the iguanas, I just *moved* them? Hmm.. I think the stuff on the desk is maybe a bunch of iguanas, with a bit of iguana guano mixed in. (ew). So instead of cleaning the desk, I could have an Iguana Moving Party? With a dance. I can make up steps for it.
One Iguana Moving Party (with bonus dance)coming up! (and as always, thanks for letting us use this space to work things out, Havi. I really need it, since there’s no room on my own desk.)
.-= Tori Deaux´s last post … Planning The Plan- NaNoWriMo As A Case Study =-.
Oh, Havi, this is Reason Number Two Million and Eleventy Thousand why I love you:
“You know what? I’m going to mess up the pile and spread it all over the floor.
And then pretend that there is a sequence to it. And look for clues. And then eat a grilled cheese sandwich.”
There’s wisdom, indeed! 🙂
Love, Hiro
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Down to Earth- Making things happen =-.
Morning, my loves!
@Hiro – Yes, well, my new imaginary book “Jumping into the Messiness While Covered in Greasy Food Stains” should be on the imaginary shelves soon. 🙂
@Tori – Iguana Moving Party! Fabulous. I love it.
@Marlene – it’s official! That’s brilliant. I can *feel* the spaciousness that closing that door is providing. Mmmmmm. Wonderful.
@Pearl – ooh, yes. Maybe I should just ask where I feel the draft instead of closing doors helter skelter.
@Juliet – me too! I mean, on the “door that I can’t shut for a while yet” thing. Knowing that it WILL shut is a huge relief. Such a good thing.
@helen – yay for shiny new folders! Shiny! Folders!
Since we just moved and are in the process of unpacking, my version of closing doors for today is getting rid of boxes. And oh my god there are SO MANY BOXES. And so many of them are huge and daunting and seem like they’re bigger than me.
So. For today. Not thinking about whole boxes. Thinking about picking up one thing and finding the right place for it, and then doing the same with another thing. The boxes will take care of themselves.
I mean. I still don’t wanna. Listening to Oum Khalsoum and bellydancing around the house while I do it will help, though.
slam
I’m sick or I would be say more.
.-= Jennifer Louden´s last post … Gems from the Teacher’s Path =-.
@ToriDeaux
“This is part of what I love about you; you don’t just give permission to be weird, you give permission to *need* to be weird.”
Nail. Head. Hit it.
Closing doors…. yes….
I’ve been noticing that there are a lot of places where the door looks like it’s closed, but it isn’t.
Sometimes there really is something to follow up on. Sometimes what’s left to do is simply acknowledge that I’m not going to do anything more with it, even though I probably *should*.
.-= Chris´s last post … Obsession and what came after =-.
Ooohhh this is so right on. The funny thing about these doors is that I often think it’s better to ‘leave my options open,’ but the psychic energy it takes to constantly be pondering the open door (should I or shouldn’t I?) really takes a toll after a while.
And while closing the door often feels really hard because it means mourning the loss of possibility, oddly enough when I actually firmly close the door, I feel much lighter.
What I’m slowly learning is that keeping all possibilities open often means not taking advantage of any of them.
So yea for closing doors! And seeing what happens on the other side.
.-= Liz´s last post … My Favorite Things- October 1 =-.
Now I have a mental image of the thing that I need to finish today as a big door, which would close with a satisfying thump, were it not for the huge, bloated iguana that is lying across the threshold, lazily scratching itself.
Actually, perhaps it’s not such a big iguana as all that. When I stare at him hard enough, he sort of shrinks and looks shamefaced. I’m pretty sure I can get him out of that doorway in short order, actually. Hah! This has been very helpful. Thanks!
I didn’t think up The Most Useful And Fun Step to Start The Day With on my own, but recognized it when I saw it – grilled cheese sandwich!
So I’m starting with that. A bit, uhm, not quite burned but “With character!” on one side, but this is O.K. My sandwiches don’t need to be perfectly symmetrical and balanced to be enjoyable.
Thus fortified, I head into comments and day with a more grateful and useful attitude.
Some of the comments inspire “I resemble that remark!” The unseen door, but there’s a draft from somewhere, the volunteer project of enthusiasm-killing, the not quite closed door (of course closing the door doesn’t mean nailing it shut and bricking over the wall) …
Wondering on relative challenge of iguana moving compared to cat herding. Though I did read “It is easy to herd cats! Just move their food dish.”
I have lizards, — not iguanas (whew!) but Australian Bearded Dragons (Pogona is the species name) who are alert, social in the wild, tap on the terrarium side when I’m slow on bringing breakfast (salad mix, dandelions or crickets – they have no interest in grilled cheese sandwiches – I of course just checked) and do what we call “glass dancing.”
Some of them are not fully clear, or resigned to the concept of “hard air” and think they really ought to be able to go to what they see, and so charge into the glass and scramble up, standing on tippy-tail with all four feet flailing on the glass.
I’ve been flailing somewhat unproductively on web site setup, stuck on the problem that I can’t do everything I want to at once, so what should I do first? So I’ll start with cute pictures of pets today, and add stuff later after that First Step. They may dance into back pages later, but for now they’ll welcome me on to the site which will encourage me to next steps.
Thanks!
I love closing doors. They get me down the right hallway that much faster because I’m not stuck the wrong room.
Peered into a room some people were trying to invite me into the other day – eek! No thank you. Shut.
Just about to get out of a room whose door I shouldn’t have opened.
Making a list of warning signs for doors I shouldn’t open in the first place.
What doors need closing?
– The books I do for the volunteer group. It would take me 30 minutes and life a huge weight.
– Two blog posts I need to write. Also lifting huge weights.
What would make things easier?
– This one is easy. My babysitter started today. I have 4 hours of child-free time, and this is bliss. She already made grocery shopping 50 times easier.
What needs chaos?
– I think maybe I need some chaos in my plan-making. Some all over the place, free-wheeling room to make connections before plotting my next step.
And now I think I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich. Thanks for the suggestion. 🙂
.-= Amber´s last post … Bedtime is the Best Time of the Day =-.
Havi! I just realized! I may be sitting around feeling bad for myself (a reasonable state when one is pouring out mucus, I think) and avoiding doing what I need to do (type up some stuff) but I understand now! A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH. With tomato. It will bring love and joy into my life again (and the impetus to get up and do things!). Oh gosh I am so excited for this sandwich.
Oh, the iguanas! Such big eyes they have.
Today’s accomplishments so far:
–Wrote my morning pages.
–Ate breakfast and lunch.
–Taught my scheduled preschool music classes.
–Did some dishes and general kitchen-cleaning.
–Asked for (and received) help determining which taillight bulb needs replacing.
Still (probably, maybe) ahead:
–Purchase new taillight bulb, ask for (and receive) help with its installation.
–Rehearsal.
–Work on dissertation proposal.
–Email.
–Eat dinner.
–Drink tea.
Iguanas who may just need to wait one more day:
–Phone calls to schedule 2 appointments for my daughter.
What would make things easier?
–Using Dissolve-o-Matic tools to dissolve stuckified stuff.
–Keeping a sunny corner of my mind free to daydream about my five year floor plan.
–Snuggle breaks.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … RE-re-invention =-.
I’ve been working on organizing my fabric stash. I had been afraid to do it because I was afraid that too much organization would stifle creativity. So instead of organizing them by color or size or however other people do it, I made a list of terms like “Nebraska” and “Primary Patchwork” and I’m putting the fabric into piles based on how they fit those terms.
I actually just did a major de-pile yesterday. Three months worth of bills and paper work stacked on my desk. May need to rethink my binder/file system, considering it got to that point. (I can never quite get my mail systems to a point where they don’t fall apart.)
I always say that the road to Organization runs through Messville. There is no depiling so good as the one where you spread the piles out all over everywhere with sticky notes and folders and go to it.
I would love to close some doors right now, I’ve got piles at work that need attention. The problem is time. They can only be handled at work and life means I can’t stay at work long enough to handle them. (That’s the downside to the mess answer–you can’t really stop in the middle when you need the room clean to be used the next day.)
.-= alienbooknose´s last post … Yay- fall! =-.
Love this.
Today I woke up, looked at my living room from where I was sitting with my coffee and wondered: Wow! Who fired the maid? And where did all this ‘stuff’ come from? From there I was up and cleaning and pulling out little tables that inspire clutter collections. In the end I rearranged the LR and got rid of six pieces of clutter collectors..I mean tables. And I found home for these way ward collectors too. Let them collect clutter at someone else’s house! Woot!
THAT door of messiness had been bothering me for weeks. Now it is officially closed. Woot!
oh the iguanas! Including ones I don’t understand, like the one smoking on top of my desire for a physical practice, and the one with the sunglasses and the James Dean leather jacket leaning on the Car of New Project That Is Exciting daring me to drive forward.
Gah!
.ahem.
Closing doors. There is The Big Polka-Dotted-Elephant-In-The-Living-Room door. I wonder if I can get it to go down the trap door under the rug? Probably not. Besides, then it would be in the basement, and how do you get an elephant out of the basement? None the less, that door is breathing down my neck. I just want to make sure I close it, instead of having someone else close it for me and hold it shut and maybe trap me in a Room I Don’t Like.
There is another Big Door. But only one other. I will close it when it feels right, illogical though that may be.
Most of the other doors in my life are straining to fly open, only my Monsters are sitting on top, holding them shut. Really, I need and want them open, though.
Oh, the iguanas. (What’s with the one where I don’t take pictures for my website? I like my website, and I like taking pictures.) And monsters. Perhaps there should be a tea party for all the things with fur and scales and claws. I have learned from my British friends that there is nothing that isn’t better with tea.
And right now there is a tiny little iguana in a plaid tam giggling at me from the basement. I need to go down there and pet him while I do the thing that will let me go to bed with a clean conscience.
So. Off to pet the iguana. And then maybe play (!) with the toy that makes the New Project go. If it flies perhaps I won’t run over the James Dean iguana when I get moving.
thank you, Havi.
.-= Leela´s last post … shame and silence are deadly =-.
This fall weather, the wind, is making doors slam before I can close them sometimes. It’s so much better if I can close them gently myself.
.-= Rupa´s last post … A Simple Way to Determine Your Life’s Purpose =-.
Hello Havi,
I’ve not posted a comment for awhile because I had to ask myself,
‘Am I posting this comment to promote my blog, or am I posting this comment to truly interact with what Havi is saying?”
In other words, what is my motivation for coming here?
Why is it worth my time?
What emotional need is it fulfilling?
Two answers feel strong:
1. To support you.
I simply like supporting people who are doing good things for the world. Feels good. for me.
2. To let my mind gently relax and play while not feeling required to actually interact.
This is the beauty of the internet. It can fulfill a social need even when you are too spent to get together with people. You have created a playful, safe and warm space here. That’s why I come back.
I may not be a fan of sharing on Friday Chicken or picking up the lingo like iguanas, but every time I read, I send you my love and support!
Blessings and Farts,
~ Amy
@playwithamy
.-= Amy Martin´s last post … Secrets To My Productivity =-.
@Leela — Love, love, love the idea of having a tea party for the Iguanas and Monsters! Party hats for everyone!
.-= pink´s last post … Seeking the Wolf =-.
I really like this closing doors business.
Reading this post… I realize i have one big door that needs closing – but i know i’m not ready yet. It’s so refreshing to just acknowledge that its OKAY that i’m not ready and that i WILL close it when i am ready! How instantly empowering!
It leaves me free of stress to focus on the doors i CAN close now. One of those would be eliminating friendship clutter, so that I have less negative/neutral people and more of the positive, empowering, creative people that i need to achieve my dreams.
Hooray!
Closing doors !!
I am doing the dishes.
Throwing out some books and some empty wine bottles.
Closing up the weekend and moving into the week.
Perhaps perhaps taking a decision or so about things I DONT WANT anymore.
xxx