Hello, new month!
Time to passage between the months again and notice things.
Passaging out of January. What worked in January?
Knowing that two weeks of silent retreat at the Vicarage were waiting for me at the end.
I never would have been able to do all the things that needed doing without that shining light at the end of the tunnel.
Dancing every day.
Speaking my mind.
Getting close to the ground. Following instinct. Remembering that Nothing Is Wrong. This was truly the month of Actually Nothing Is Wrong.
So long, January. Things I might try differently next time?
Noticing when Insecure Me shows up. It’s usually when I haven’t been sleeping and yoga-ing. When she is at the front of the V, there is a lot of unnecessary pain.
Taking the nap (or the bath or the walk) before I think I need it.
No teaching. January is not for teaching. January is for writing.
Passaging into February. Hello, February!
Hi. Hi.
I can’t wait to meet you.
Qualities I want for February.
Pleasure. Peacefulness. Steadiness. Delight. Vitality. Attentiveness. Anticipation. Presence. Grace. Silliness. Appreciation. Harmony. Wonder. Trust. Serendipity. Shelter. Adventure. Passage.
Let’s choose words for February.
I’m going with the word in the calendar: VOYAGE.
And, of course: Vicarage.
And the superpowers of V.I.C.A.R.A.G.E.
Vital internal compass aligning and resetting to access and glow (with) energy.
I’m turning the page in the Stompopolis calendar.
Can I just tell you how exactly made-for-me last month’s words and images were? The ENTRY and the vortex stone and especially-especially the superpower of Nothing Is Wrong.
It was just right.
And this month looks to just as perfect. The word is VOYAGE (Look! I am on one right now!). And the superpower is easy transitions, which is, quite possibly, the thing I am craving most in my life right now.
Additional February superpowers?
I detest valentine’s day and I will be back just in time for it, so maybe there is a superpower that has to do with pristine force fields. Or with extracting the pure essence of sweetness from surrounding bullshit.
What else?
Something about flowers. And, as always, TRADE WINDS.
The current knows what to do. Use the trade winds!
The superpower of finding the fountain. The superpower of the right companions at the right moments. The superpower of a time and a place for everything.
Things I’m working on and playing with in February.
Being receptive to new configurations.
Dry Dock: the time between the end of the 2012 Floop and the beginning of the 2013 Floop at the end of this month.
Letting things be easier than I think they’re going to be.
Using the fact that No, Really, Nothing Is Wrong to remember that this moment is right.
Things I’m looking forward to in February.
Hanging out with Incoming Me at the Vicarage.
Finding the fountain.
Voyages, passages and crossing.
Horizon and water.
Reunion. Coming home. Playmate. Delight.
February Rally (Rally!). First Rally since September. This will be amazing.
The bout against Cherry City. Sometimes a friendly is just the thing.
Tu B’shvat. The birthday of the trees.
What February could be like.
Peaceful and inspired. Full of doors opening at the exact right moments.
Slightly future me says…
Pay attention to pleasure: texture, taste, softness, your feet on the floor, rhythm. Participate in — and delight in — the vitality of being alive.
Naming the moon.
This is a tradition I borrowed from Waverly. You can read more about how I do it if you like.
This will be the moon of new flowers.
And?
I want to be here now.
Goodbye, January. Thank you for everything. Goodbye everything that is done. Thank you for being done. Mmhmm.
Hello, February. I am touching you on the cheek.
Come in, come in. Let’s cross. Over and through.
Play with me…
I mess around with entry and exit each month, going with whatever shows up.
For other versions, peek at 2011: July / August / September / October / November and December. Or 2012: January / February / March / April / May. A love letter to June / July / August / September / October / November / December.
And of course last month.
Feel welcome to deposit notes for your entry into February here, if you like. Or drop off some wishes. Or leave flowers.
As always, we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
Wishing you a February that is pleasurable, supportive, and full of unexpectedly good things. And love. All the love.
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I appreciate that this post was tagged with “mindful time management” because of my need for humor. “Management” makes me think of a drill sergeant. Meanwhile, we stroke the cheek of passing time! For a fluent self, time just happens. And it’s ok!
I feel “mind-ful”. And it’s also true, dammit, that “body-ful” is equally valid; mind may actually be too full at the moment, so body can balance that out.
In February I will experience horizon–suddenly a perfect image to me! Horizon is the definition of balance, levelness, horizontality. It is universal–all glasses of water just find it! Plus, horizon is a goal and destination that is not to be reached. The asymptote of all my anxious doing. What if the knowing that I’ll never reach it makes my doing less anxious? Yay, broadening horizons!
I love the advice of Slightly Future Havi. Pay attention to pleasure. Pleasure!
February could be all about pleasure. When it’s not-very-cold, there’s the pleasure of not wearing a heavy coat and moving about almost like gazelle state. When it’s cold, there’s the pleasure of the fireplace and hot soup and tea and hot chocolate (which I now make the way my Mexican hostess showed me last month).
Maybe there will be the pleasure of seeing the leaves of daffodils and crocuses beginning to appear. Maybe there will be the pleasure of building a snowman.
I think I will go make a list.
Waving to everyone who is entering February!
Hello, February. I don’t even know what to say to you today. Let’s just be excellent to each other, okay?
–<-<–<@
Hello february, you are short and sweet!
what worked in january:
-the Stompolis calendar is magic! it truly works! Totally had the SiperPower of Nothg Is Wrong Actually! Lots of COnscious Entry
-jounaling, was good, more of that
-Exitng the Day and chunking out PuppyTime
qualities for Feb:
advenure, competence, discovery, curiosity, keeping my word
this month there wll be:
-Pantheacon, so I gwish for easy trasntion there and back and a kickass presentation
-Setting Sail, really and truly
-wow, plans for the damn garden
-operation natasha, needs a reboot.
-unexpected flowers and continued kindness
What worked in January?
* permission to stay home
* being selective
What I might try next time?
* being even more choosy
* using the crayons for something else
* shopping in stores instead of online
Moving on to February. Oh, February.
Qualities I want: contentment. perspective. balance. tact. comfort. safety. the ability to wait things out. the ability to let things go.
Choosing a word: chemistry. (how things affect each other.)
Superpowers: taming iguanas. finding facts.
Working on and playing with: Shedding. Shredding. Bouquets of permission slips. New creatures in the moat.
Staying offline each Shabbat.
What I’m looking forward to: reading for fun. time with friends. gifts to friends. finishing poems.
What February could be like: a lightening of heart.
Slightly Future Me says: yes, February does keep finding new ways to break your heart. But every time it has in fact been for the best, and you even already know that this is no different.
The moon is a spacious moon. Space + delicious = spacious. Hey…
And? Secret Agent Me is whispering: the password is “sunk cost fallacy.” And handing me a jar of blue dye.
Warm wishes and bouquetfuls of flowers to you all.
Transitions. Apparently they bring up sadness for me. And I need to add this to my Book of Me because I flip into all sorts of “coping techniques” when really I would be better off letting the sadness flow, in, through, out. Like breathing. Like the moon. Like the waves. This is the essence of life. Change, transitions, movement, letting go. It’s like this all the time of course, but there are times when The Way Things Are Changing is much more apparent in big, gross, external, visible ways. And that can be hard.
January: thank you for everything that you contained. Heat, rage, movement, energy, spent-ness, my new garden, much loved family, the words “turn it over”, my friends and everything that is happening for them, seed-planting for change that feels like possibility rather than rawness. (So far). Thank you everything that is done for being done. Thank you what I needed to learn for showing up so I could learn about you. Thank you everything that was hard for being over. Thank you everything that was good and sweet for being so.
February, hello. In so many big, in-the-hard, external ways you tell me “this is your life now”. And so far it has been good, and good, and good. And still hard. Letting go, letting go. Letting go of 2012, and and and. Let it go. Just be here now. This is what you tell me. The door is open. Come in! Don’t wish you could linger on the doorstep. The time is now. Everything is good and good and good as you keep moving. Lie down. Feel it.
February, I name you the Moon of Single Steps.
Okay. I am letting go of everything that is not mine. I am bringing all of me and mine with me. I am here, now. Now. And, it is okay, and it is good, and it is blessed and it is correct. Utterly correct. I choose not to argue with this moment. Yes.
Teehee.. the cousin I told you about now plays for Cherry City. I keep seeing her posts on FB about the bout with GNR.
[I’m silent retreating on entering this month. February and I are working on our stuff offline.]
Junking some things from January and Freely carrying on some of the good things for February.
What worked in January was making more thoughtful plans for my future and doing some hard thinking – both realistic and more fanciful.
Let go of a demon lover who I truly feel had Robert Johnson type issue to deal with and I’m a skeptic on such things. Some of this was influenced by a genius friend who let the idea into my head, but I always have a feeling…he just helped give it form and I got away when I realized the evil or yet another frenemy.
I fully trusted my instincts and let go, didn’t give this one any time to argue with me as he dines on his own rage and anger.
Got out a bit more and had fun, which was good.
Didn’t pursue friendships with males who pursued me where I knew it would be trouble or just not for me.
Kept going to Acupuncture and I think the Chinese herbs are helping a bit. I felt very loved and cared for there.
Gave up cold drinks and my energy is a little better. Gave up my sparkling water addiction was has not been that hard and I save money!
Realize I am doing well on the no sugar thing too!
Kept practicing Asthanga where and when I could.
Things I might try in February –
Too keep going on this healing path. So happy I almost bought some gluten free cookies during PMS time but put them back!
Working more with negative fears thoughts and regrets. Ignoring them more and distracting with activity rather than obsessing.
Stay off of FB even more. Simplify.
Step forward with heart but step back from attached emotions around a friend who will not take her HIV medication and is probably going to get sick and die in the next year or two. It’s a bad feeling I have and her skin is not looking good with the sores. Not attach to her issues with really personality disordered BF. Tell her I can’t listen to her go on and on about it anymore. It drains me.
Keep getting space and/or rid of people who bring dishonest, careless, and ridiculous energy into my life. I don’t need it anymore. I took back one only to realize I need to end it again.
Never lend out any of my video gear again to anyone as I did get my screen back, but it was a HUGE hassle and it came back minus some things that went with it and she didn’t care at all. Not even an apology or a promise to fine it. (Felt somewhat childish but I took her of my FB friends list. I am that sensitive about seeing peoples’ faces who have rubbed me the wrong way over time and she as a bad rep anyway with many people.)
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Qualities I want for February –
Forgiving and forgetting
Staying present
Being open to possibility
Looking for signs to show me the way
De-cluttering myself – things, thoughts,
and old memories.
Staying busy
Baby steps keep things moving.
Positive thinking and action.
Serendipty for sure! (Thanks, Havi for this idea!)
I’m playing with:
Meditating more. I did this last night and my intuition really came through. I just asked a question, got quiet and really listened.
Keeping intuition journal that mostly starts with, “I have a feeling that….”
Things I’m looking forward to in February:
Time with old and dear friends who will help me and be there with me when I rest during this moving thing.
Getting rid of this prison of an apartment.
Getting on the raod to MT ahead of time if possible.
Making money and having fun ebaying all these things I never got to due to stress and CFS.
February Superpowers –
Maturity, Stoicism, Productivity, Private Person, Positive Thinking. Staying on task. Concentration like an eagle.
Thinking of all of you and hoping you get what you want and then some in February. I felt the love out there last month, I hope you did too – more to follow!