Wiggle — it’s good for you

So you’re going about your business of living your life and just doing your thing. And all of a sudden you’re in a bad mood.

Bang! Just like that, the whole world is miserable and annoying.

How’d that happen?

Well, sometimes you really have absolutely no idea. Sometimes you have a just a little prickling of a thought.

And sometimes — even though you can’t necessarily say for sure — as you moodily contemplate your emotional state, a mini-theory emerges.

Maybe you stubbed your toe, experienced a flicker of pain which somehow led to thinking about your ex, and then you realized you’re not as happy as you thought you were …

A chain of associations starts to emerge. A pattern. Are the connections “true”? Does the equation add up? Doesn’t matter. Not important.

What’s important is: Houston, we’ve got a pattern!

Do not skip this step

Any pattern — whether it’s stressing out on trains, fighting with someone you love, reaching for the comfort of a cigarette, whatever — is made up of individual components.

Tiny, individual elements that all link together.

A chain of events. Well, not so much events as moments — moments that trigger emotional and physical reactions. You might not be able to see it, but the pattern is always there.

If you want to get anywhere with your problem pattern (or with any pattern), it’s really, really helpful to try and reduce that pattern (that chain) into individual steps.

You may not be able to figure out every single one — and that’s okay. It’s where you start.

Here’s where it gets interesting

It’s much easier to figure out what’s going on with you and your patterns when you can identify the different components. That’s the first step in separating them from each other, and it’s this act of separating — even a tiny bit — that makes all the difference.

If you’ve ever taken a yoga or pilates class, you’ve probably heard the teacher talk about creating space between the vertebrae. Which is really the thing that gives you that awesome “whoah, I’m an inch taller than before class” feeling.

Creating space (or accessing space that’s already there) gives you wiggle-room to maneuver, extend and grow — in your body, and in your mind.

Think about it this way: when you focus on a knotted shoelace, there’s that moment where you find a minute gap or two. Tiny openings between the tightly bound laces.

These “access points” give you room to tease open these knotted bits of stuck — and a place to start.

And now I will stop hitting you over the head with my analogies. Because I think you get it.

Important point #1

Shift your focus to the gaps and spaces, instead of focusing on what a horribly tangled mess you’ve got.

Important point #2

Even a tiny bit of wiggle-room is helpful.

Important point #3

Once you’ve reduced your pattern into individual steps or elements, it will be a lot easier to figure out where your best access point is.

It’s easy to choose the wrong access point to work on. For example, when you’re trying to quit smoking and you think “Oh, I’m noticing that I want a cigarette. Okay, let’s work on this pattern.”

This is only one link in the chain — the hardest link — so it totally doesn’t work.

But once you know that a certain situation will always trigger the tension that triggers the wanting, there’s your opening — now you can start working on the pattern.

Once you’re aware of the sequential chain of reactions you have an easier entry point. Don’t start in the middle of the stuck where it’s hard. Start where there’s wiggle-room.

One for the road: Important point #4

Trust that the knot will eventually come undone. You’ll tease out some threads. You’ll make more room for yourself. At some point you’ll find the thread to pull … at least you’re looking.

It’ll be okay.

Uh huh. Seriously. So start breaking down your patterns into steps and get thee some wiggle-room. What your wiggle-room looks like will vary from pattern to pattern. Physical, mental or emotional, it doesn’t matter.

The point is, if you can wiggle, it’s good for you.