Friday chicken

A look at the good and the hard in my week, a ritual of reflecting.

It is Friday Thursday and we are here.

Publishing the Chicken on Thursday (twelve hours early?) because I might not have internet access until Sunday!

{a breath for today.}

What worked this week?

Path of least effort.

This involved going to bed at 8:30pm, wearing the same shirt every day because it made me happy, and solving problems by not solving them.

Next time I might…

Do more entry.

I like to say “enter as you wish to be in it”, mainly because when I enter something consciously, that changes how I am when I’m in it.

So here’s to beautiful transitions.

If you feel drawn to leave comments on aspects of my week, I will take love, hearts, breaths, pebbles, I do not need advice or cheering up, though presence and sweetness are appreciated. Hearts or pebbles are great if you don’t know what to say, often I don’t know what to say either so we’re in the same boat.

Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. Oh just a tiny-not-tiny existential crisis about what I want to be doing with my life. A breath for remembering that it is safe to admit to myself what I want.
  2. In between. A breath for being okay with this.
  3. Something that usually brings me great joy is still very good for me, but I don’t feel the magical sparks this time. Also so many monsters about how all I want to do these days is sleep, eat and go for walks. A breath for trusting the process.
  4. Watching other people dance and wishing I was one of them. A breath for this.
  5. [Silent Retreat]. A breath for presence.
  6. Made it through six whole days without the beautiful boy without going crazy from missing him, and then it hit me with overwhelming intensity. A breath for remembering that I am enough, I am always enough, this moment is enough, love lives in my heart and anyone else who gets to be in my life is just a reflection of what I already have between me and myself, this is hard to remember.
  7. Apprehensive about some future ops. A breath for trust.
  8. Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week. May I choose to trust-more love-more release-more receive-more.

Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. Is there a word for the kind of acquaintance you run into every year or so, and you are disproportionately pleased to see each other, even though you both know that if the two of you actually lived in the same place you’d never, ever hang out because you don’t actually have anything to talk about? Sebastian falls into this exact category, and that was a lovely coincidence. A breath for lovely coincidences.
  2. Operation Adventures in Reverberation is a marvelous companion to Operation True Yes, and they are intricately related, and both vitally important to Shmita. A breath for seeing the connections, and being a bell.
  3. Monsters aside, I actually feel glowing pride about having devoted this week to sleeping and eating, and pretty much nothing else. Eleven hours of sleep at night, multiple naps. This might actually be my first ever relaxation-ONLY holiday that I can remember: not working, not writing, not problem-solving, not learning, not meeting people, not being social. Really just nothing. I know that this is what I need right now, and I don’t need to know why. I just need to trust it. A breath for how beautiful this is, whether I can see it or not.
  4. I remembered something I care about, something I’d forgotten for a very long time, and I feel excited about this. A breath for a new spark
  5. Missing my lover/companion-in-adventuring is sweet and delicious, as are the messages he sends me. A breath for treasure.
  6. Walking for hours by the water. I saw twenty porpoises and a whale, and lots of beautiful horizon. Morning walking with the sun and evening walking with the moon. Oh, and I got a message from the moon. It said, “Trust your glow”, and if that’s not moon magic, I don’t know what is. And a bridge that once spoke to me had nothing to say other than “no transmission at this time”, and then another bridge that had spoken to me once upon a time told me to stay committed to pleasure. A breath for getting quiet and listening.
  7. I visited a place this week, a place that has a lot of personal meaning for me, actually the spot of a huge turning point in my life. Heading there, I wondered if I’d even feel anything — it’s really just a falling-apart phone booth, would it mean anything to be there again or would it seem mundane and without magic. Much to my astonishment, that street corner and phone booth have become a garden, and the place where I decided to change my entire life is now marked with a plaque that calls it the Pavilion Of Transition. So, yeah, my life is still The Truman Show. A breath for being a grand adventuress under cover, and for laughter.
  8. Thankfulness. So much is good. Sunflower seeds and macadamia nuts. Trusting my instincts. Everything is okay. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thankful for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.

Wham booms, wisdom, superpowers, salve and FBOTW!

Operations completed. Wham boom!

Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code meaning: this thing is done! Shortened to wham-boom.

I can honestly say that did absolutely nothing this week, and it was wonderful. So we will count that as a big win for the Mission of Less, and say a big WHAM BOOM to that. Thank you fractal flowers, thank you Shmita, thank you Switch/Swoop. Wham Boom.

Superpowers I had this week…

I had the superpower of not needing anything. Including the related superpowers of not needing to do anything or say anything or ask for anything.

Powers I want.

The superpower of delighting in small and big moments.

The Salve of Where Have You Not Been That You Would Like To Be.

These invisible salves are distributed here by way of internet magic. Help yourself! Take it in a bath, as tea, a cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

Someone asked someone else this question this week, in a very specific context. This salve allows the deeper question to sink into your skin and become part of you.

This is a possibility salve, and it awakens all kinds of desires. It smells of clove and secret messages and the moment before the moment before the moment of yes.

When I wear this salve, I sleep wonderfully and dream of islands.

Where Have You Not Been That You Would Like To Be?

This salve is luscious, with undertones of trust, softening, wonder, delight and receiving, and it will make your feet feel slightly tingly, but in a good way.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I make up bands, which are all just one guy. The Meme Beach House is the venue.

This week’s band comes to us by way of a very interesting conversation I overheard that started out as a very boring conversation, and it’s called That There Is A Meatball. Their latest album is called Just Meat And Ball. Or maybe Just Meet And Bawl. It was hard to tell from context, even though it shouldn’t have been. And they’re just one guy.

And my upcoming Biopic…

I’ll Have What She’s Having. The Havi Brooks Story.

Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.

I am recommending the Emergency Get Calm, Quiet And Steady techniques, aka the thing that keeps me from falling apart.

Come play if you like…

Join me in the comments. You are welcome to take a breath, share something from your week, leave warmth or hearts, whatever works for you. My format doesn’t have to be yours. We’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!

The Fluent Self