It is Friday Thursday and we are here.
Publishing the Chicken on Thursday (twelve hours early?) because I might not have internet access until Sunday!
{a breath for today.}
What worked this week?
Path of least effort.
This involved going to bed at 8:30pm, wearing the same shirt every day because it made me happy, and solving problems by not solving them.
Next time I might…
Do more entry.
I like to say “enter as you wish to be in it”, mainly because when I enter something consciously, that changes how I am when I’m in it.
So here’s to beautiful transitions.
Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Oh just a tiny-not-tiny existential crisis about what I want to be doing with my life. A breath for remembering that it is safe to admit to myself what I want.
- In between. A breath for being okay with this.
- Something that usually brings me great joy is still very good for me, but I don’t feel the magical sparks this time. Also so many monsters about how all I want to do these days is sleep, eat and go for walks. A breath for trusting the process.
- Watching other people dance and wishing I was one of them. A breath for this.
- [Silent Retreat]. A breath for presence.
- Made it through six whole days without the beautiful boy without going crazy from missing him, and then it hit me with overwhelming intensity. A breath for remembering that I am enough, I am always enough, this moment is enough, love lives in my heart and anyone else who gets to be in my life is just a reflection of what I already have between me and myself, this is hard to remember.
- Apprehensive about some future ops. A breath for trust.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week. May I choose to trust-more love-more release-more receive-more.
Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- Is there a word for the kind of acquaintance you run into every year or so, and you are disproportionately pleased to see each other, even though you both know that if the two of you actually lived in the same place you’d never, ever hang out because you don’t actually have anything to talk about? Sebastian falls into this exact category, and that was a lovely coincidence. A breath for lovely coincidences.
- Operation Adventures in Reverberation is a marvelous companion to Operation True Yes, and they are intricately related, and both vitally important to Shmita. A breath for seeing the connections, and being a bell.
- Monsters aside, I actually feel glowing pride about having devoted this week to sleeping and eating, and pretty much nothing else. Eleven hours of sleep at night, multiple naps. This might actually be my first ever relaxation-ONLY holiday that I can remember: not working, not writing, not problem-solving, not learning, not meeting people, not being social. Really just nothing. I know that this is what I need right now, and I don’t need to know why. I just need to trust it. A breath for how beautiful this is, whether I can see it or not.
- I remembered something I care about, something I’d forgotten for a very long time, and I feel excited about this. A breath for a new spark
- Missing my lover/companion-in-adventuring is sweet and delicious, as are the messages he sends me. A breath for treasure.
- Walking for hours by the water. I saw twenty porpoises and a whale, and lots of beautiful horizon. Morning walking with the sun and evening walking with the moon. Oh, and I got a message from the moon. It said, “Trust your glow”, and if that’s not moon magic, I don’t know what is. And a bridge that once spoke to me had nothing to say other than “no transmission at this time”, and then another bridge that had spoken to me once upon a time told me to stay committed to pleasure. A breath for getting quiet and listening.
- I visited a place this week, a place that has a lot of personal meaning for me, actually the spot of a huge turning point in my life. Heading there, I wondered if I’d even feel anything — it’s really just a falling-apart phone booth, would it mean anything to be there again or would it seem mundane and without magic. Much to my astonishment, that street corner and phone booth have become a garden, and the place where I decided to change my entire life is now marked with a plaque that calls it the Pavilion Of Transition. So, yeah, my life is still The Truman Show. A breath for being a grand adventuress under cover, and for laughter.
- Thankfulness. So much is good. Sunflower seeds and macadamia nuts. Trusting my instincts. Everything is okay. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thankful for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Wham booms, wisdom, superpowers, salve and FBOTW!
Operations completed. Wham boom!
I can honestly say that did absolutely nothing this week, and it was wonderful. So we will count that as a big win for the Mission of Less, and say a big WHAM BOOM to that. Thank you fractal flowers, thank you Shmita, thank you Switch/Swoop. Wham Boom.
Superpowers I had this week…
I had the superpower of not needing anything. Including the related superpowers of not needing to do anything or say anything or ask for anything.
Powers I want.
The superpower of delighting in small and big moments.
The Salve of Where Have You Not Been That You Would Like To Be.
Someone asked someone else this question this week, in a very specific context. This salve allows the deeper question to sink into your skin and become part of you.
This is a possibility salve, and it awakens all kinds of desires. It smells of clove and secret messages and the moment before the moment before the moment of yes.
When I wear this salve, I sleep wonderfully and dream of islands.
Where Have You Not Been That You Would Like To Be?
This salve is luscious, with undertones of trust, softening, wonder, delight and receiving, and it will make your feet feel slightly tingly, but in a good way.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band comes to us by way of a very interesting conversation I overheard that started out as a very boring conversation, and it’s called That There Is A Meatball. Their latest album is called Just Meat And Ball. Or maybe Just Meet And Bawl. It was hard to tell from context, even though it shouldn’t have been. And they’re just one guy.
And my upcoming Biopic…
I’ll Have What She’s Having. The Havi Brooks Story.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I am recommending the Emergency Get Calm, Quiet And Steady techniques, aka the thing that keeps me from falling apart.
Come play if you like…
Join me in the comments. You are welcome to take a breath, share something from your week, leave warmth or hearts, whatever works for you. My format doesn’t have to be yours. We’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
“Much to my astonishment, that street corner and phone booth have become a garden, and the place where I decided to change my entire life is now marked with a plaque that calls it the Pavilion Of Transition.”
Smiling at this, and the unexpectedness of it! How perfect and amazing!
Lovely surprise – early chicken to distract me from the alarming tedium of the UK elections! ??????X
I have so much to say that I don’t know where to start, and I’m noticing this more often lately. Like, there’s so much that wants to be said… but then I don’t know where to start, don’t know what will actually come out, so… more often than not – I say nothing and am disappointed in myself.
The Story of My Life.
Today was my birthday. I have been both looking forward to, and dreading, it for about a week or so now. I really did not want any kind of hoopla around it. At all. Not that I have anything against it… I guess I’m just kind of over birthdays?! Now that I said that I think I’m just kind of over celebrations in general. That’s interesting, and perhaps something I’ll want to look at a bit more.
I’m at once disappointed and relieved that bio-mother did not try to reach out today. I suppose one day I’ll need to deal with all of that, but not this day.
This week has been so confusing. I keep going back and forth about upcoming decisions, and do not like feeling like a flake. I know this is a story I’ve made up and tell myself about myself… and even so it doesn’t seem to want to go away.
Breathing into the feeling of allowing myself to have mixed feelings about upcoming decisions.
Reminding myself – again and again and again – that I Am Safe. I Am Whole. I Am Unbroken. I want to remember this more easily and completely.
Inviting in more conscious presence – daily – and loving what’s coming of that. More of this, please.
Also, more raw honesty + recognition of my own abilities. {Yes.}
Happy Chicken, all! <3
The Pavilion of Transition! I am in awe.
What a perfect week for an early Chicken. What a perfect *day* for it. This day! This week!
Hard:
–sad old tires suddenly needed replacing urgently on a day when there was scarcely time or money for this
–visited the doctor for the first time in a long time and discovered that my blood pressure has crept higher, to the point where I have to face the fact that it’s high.
–starting a daily prescription to reduce blood pressure, grieving because I really don’t want to have to take a daily prescription for anything.
–today, I put my guitar down for a minute and it fell over and broke. My guitar. My *favorite*, beautiful, beloved, possibly irreplaceable guitar. The manufacturer doesn’t make them like this anymore. Possibly it can be repaired, but that will probably take more time and money than I’d like.
–and then my phone broke
–and I promptly cut my finger on the cracked screen.
–[silent retreat]
Good:
–I never did get around to selling or giving away my spare guitar. It doesn’t look or feel or sound as amazing, but it’s a nice guitar, and I”m grateful to have it.
–family and friends rallying around me with love and support
–I had a really lovely artist date filled with sovereignty and serendipity and delight
–good, good music therapy sessions with my clients
I love that salve. I think I”ll make it part of my bedtime ritual for a while. Thank you.
I now invoke the superpower of Discovering the Beautiful New Pots! I can feel the rich loamy earth between my toes already…
Hard:
– I’m currently on a bus filled with people yelling at the bus driver because they’re stressed. As usual, people in their stuff are much more unpleasant than the actual delay, at least for me.
– Filled up like a sponge with other people’s stuff a few times this week, at it was unpleasant.
– Ear infection got *much* worse and I couldn’t hear anything below normal conversation level. I get so much of my sense of grounding and safety from my ability to keep auditory track of my surroundings. Also the night it felt like someone was stabbing me in the eardrum.
– The frustrating case of the mysterious holes.
– Oh boy do we have a toddler on our hands. Just hours and hours of screaming about how she wants the. Exact. Opposite. Of whatever we’ve offered. A breath to remember how much I value her developing sense of self.
– Midterms
– The mystery of the impossibility of northward on a bicycle.
– Ran into this person from my high school not just on campus, but within a few blocks from my home, which is many miles from campus. A breath for the past and how difficult I find it.
The Good:
– I have an early chicken to occupy me while Obama delays my bus!
– We did a healing for my ear, and it told me what it needed and now they’re both doing much much better. There’s still a quantity of smelly ooze, but I can hear again.
– Then I started a vlog! Which is surprisingly fun.
– Beautiful weather.
– Midterms are over, a fact I processed with a three hour nap, after which I felt much better.
– I love my family. I can’t believe that every day I get to go learn fun stuff *and then* I come home every evening and get to be with my family filling up on joy and love and wonder. It’s amazing.
<3 to all!
I just had an interesting realization that needs to be explored, so I’m putting it here in its raw form: hunter-gatherering while traveling *is* the purpose of travel. I don’t go places in order to do something; I go to hunt for and gather in things that I need, and bring them home with me.
Sunshine and Dark Clouds abound: MrB in nursing home for physical rehab and my sibs working on the house to make it easier and safer for him when he comes home; a two-hour pass from the nursing home for the weekend (but then I have to take him back).
Not sleeping well; pain is worse and keeps me awake at night, and when I do get to sleep, I wake up with “med head”; I have more errands and things to do than normal and less time and energy to do them. But I *do* have meds, and I am able to do the things on my list most days.
Cheers to the chickeneers!
The Pavilion of Transition! What absolute magic! I think I want a Pavilion of Transformation.
The hard:
– the election. So many conflicting feelings about what-I-should-be-doing and so much ambivalence and now so much oh-God-anything-but-this
The good:
– I enjoyed the actual election day far more than I expected. Particularly the bits that were whizzing between polling stations and the committee room on my bike.
– and my doing stuff did actually make a difference.
– I have bought socks with fruit on. I shall name them as I fold them. Strawberries (sweet and luscious). Cherries (typo: cheeries). Pears (soft and juicy). Apples (tart and crunchy). Lemons (sharp and cleansing). I invite all these qualities into my adventuring.
– these are all fruit I like! No bananas or kiwis or mangoes that I would just eat/wear because I felt I should, and would secretly resent all the time I was doing it. More of this sort of thing please.
– massive progress on getting my birthday party together
OK: let’s smile at the broken pots and wear fruitful socks and go adventuring.
Thank you thank you thank you.
What a week.
First, I laughed out loud at the Pavilion of Transition. Amazing. What a beautiful story.
Mom’s surgery went well. She was out and about yesterday, soaking in the sun. Here’s to more healing, more independence, and more joy for her.
There is always so much internal dissonance – the head and the heart… the logic and the emotions… the balance tipping in one direction or the other. I’d like more balance, but I suppose both have their place, so perhaps it’s more discernment as to which to follow when, that I’d like.
I started many new things this week – those that intrigue me or bring me joy… or would bring me joy if I suspended my skepticism and actually just allowed them to be. But, a week of new beginnings and exploring joy and creativity and seeing the good begin to flow as a result.
A week of starting new habits, reinforcing some old-new habits, and releasing those which no longer serve me. I’m thankful in listening to my body more, and ready to become more attuned to its messages.
Last night, I met the most joyful woman I have ever met in my life. She was like pure love. Giddy without a hint of crazy. Grounded yet floating. It was lovely and inspiring and comforting. She is a healer. I am intrigued.
A phone call came yesterday, out of the blue, when I shouldn’t have been around to answer it, but I was, and as a result, I am thankful for more work, more abundance, more progress toward something that resembles the life I’d like. I’m thankful, and I’m ready for it to continue in the right direction.
And, the salve of Where Have You Not Been That You Would Like to Be. So much there. Thank you.
I’m going 3 places this weekend that I haven’t been but would like to be.
The Hard:
My heart feels a longing. A longing to not take these journeys by myself all the time. A longing to find a companion. A longing to find a companion who makes me feel as comfortable as being alone, but more fun.
My right side is all tweaked, from sole of the foot to neck. Stretching, moving, bending to try to fix it. I need to remember to listen and hear what it is telling me.
The Lovely:
Planning, plotting, packing, and making my escape.
Playing with traveling lighter, planning outfits for each part of the day instead of cramming everything I own just in case.
What worked? Staying in, which meant I was home for an unrescheduled phone meeting.
Next time? Get scientific.
Hard, frustrating, etc.:
* belligerence + incompetence = toxic situation
* gaslighting. yeast infection. not unrelated.
* something’s also not right about [r]
* I haven’t found time for [o], which is not unexpected, but still.
* Many seedlings not flourishing
* More than ever, I wish there was a universal opt-out for Mother’s Day ads. Especially since a friend’s mother died this week.
Good, delightful, etc.:
* birthday presents!
* spotted a new bloom on the rogue rosebush this morning
* Montreal flights set
* plenty of seeds and seasons left
* fun and productive conversations during coffee hour
* hymn-nerding. J’adore Josquin.
* an anthem for which I wrote new English lyrics was a hit during a workshop and will be performed in front of thousands this summer
* Helping out a friend with Mission: Sunglasses.
Clew: Madrid.
Warm wishes to all y’all.
A drop in the pond for you, something that just clicked for me right now: True Yes and Thank You. Intimate connection. And “Told You” from you to you!
Stars, flowers. xo
Happy Friday and cluck!
The Pavilion of Transitions. Of all the delicious stories on this blog, this is my new favorite.
What worked this: In May I vowed that my body would have the deciding vote (it usually does, I just wanted to make sure my body knew this because of Evidence to the Contrary), and it did. I voted with the body every time. as a result, the body is sending more intel.
Also, lots of Ops and Capers in May, including several bona fide Adventures! So: we needs Maps, and QuarterMistressing, and Excellent Provisioning for the Voyage.
the sucks:
-omg lsat weekend which included:
-migraine but no meds
-caused by husband’s alcohol-fueled asholery
-that thing where you don’t make the Stitch in Time, and you don’t Save Nine. that.
-car trouble on the hiway 40 miles from home in a rain storm.
-big fight with husband. not feeling the love here
-green eyes. my coupled friends have more companionship, my single friends have freedom and sovereignty. “I have all the inconveniences of love and none of its pleasures.”
-the to do list that bever ends, and all the things that don’t happen
-no progress on so many capers
-constant warfare with my youngest.
It was hard to let go of what was challenging and awful this week. but then it just lifted, bit by bit, and after all the hard and fear and angry, lots of gifts came thru.
the sparkle:
-the husband was unexpectedly kind about the car
-the car is fixed and I could afford the fix
-went to circle with some nre friends
-upcoming adventures and all the capers that go with. even the work is generating joy sparks for me
-going to workout more and discovering I love it. I really enjoy zumba and Barre
-seeing how my physical fluency is increasing with each class. so happy about this
– hitting the D is for Dance part of the compass a lot more often
-unexpected support
-getting clear about what I want
– wizard school! it ended in Jan, but I recently got a small group of alumnae together online. Also next Sept I will shipping out on the next level. Wizard U? Wizard College? The groovy thing is that I took wizard school so I could test if I could hack Wizard U, and guess what, I can! I have all summer to come up with tuition, and I am so happy about this.
-also, I am taking a weekend workshop this weekend with 2 beloved teachers. This class was something I let go of because of expenses, but my dear friend and writing partner paid my way in, as my early birthday gift
-like I said, getting clearer about many things I want, and staying in alignment with that. maybe Alignment needs to be an A in my compass, it really has been necessary.
feeling so much love for Havi and all the chickeners.
Also: a sudden influx of intel. I think it’s because I’m doing Spirals and dancing. some of it is very painful. but all of it is Right On Time.
Hello Friday! Hello Chicken!
It is good to be here! Hello!
This week was the Sneakiest YEStival, so sneaky I almost wasn’t even conscious of it, except on the cellular level where I was deeply and profoundly conscious of it…and still am, even though it’s over. Hummmmmmming for that, mmmmhmmm.
And this week has been all Indigo Rose colored, swirling hearts and melting dreams, everything a glorious painty mess all over the walls and the pages and my hands and arms and face and skin. Beautiful beautiful beautiful.
I had a cold, and then I didn’t have a cold, and OH WOW that feeling of not having a cold after having had a cold for days is SO GOOD it ALMOST makes the cold worthwhile. ALMOST.
So, with gratitude for being able to breathe out of both sides of my nose AT THE SAME TIME, I breathe for tangles and for donuts.
Breathing for tangles.
+A breath for all those days of being sick and gross! Ugh! Breathing for my body telling me what it needed to tell me. Breathing for how bravely it fought off the intrusion. Breathing for breathing. Ahhhhhh.
+A breath for the weightiness of The Fire Paths. Whew.
+A breath for the Loch Ness Monster and the Dramatis Personae. Fuck all that, seriously. I just want to go for a swim, dammit! Breathing for how angry I feel about this. Breathing for the sadness and the confusion and the fear. Breathing for the me who can breath for all these feelings instead of drowning in them. Breathing for the me who would have done this differently in the past, and how okay that past me is, and how okay present me is, and how okay future me will be.
+A breath for EICTEOT. A breath for the times I wish this weren’t true and a breath for the times I can’t imagine it being any other way. Actually, make that a SIGH. BIG BIG SIGH. AHHHHH. Yes.
+A breath for [wanting to M and not wanting to M]. A breath of encouragement for the me that will figure out what my next M is in this G.
+A breath for [the T2B] on which I am not going. A breath for sadness about that. A breath for knowing it is the right choice even alongside the sadness/especially alongside the sadness.
+A breath for [Agent Eelyreef]. A breath of Wishing Things Were Different and a breath of Loving That Which Is.
+A breath for Oh God What Do I Do About Indigo Rose? This breath comes out in peals of giggles. In, out, in, out, teeheeheeheeheee. So tangly and delicious at the same time.
+A breath for the XC Mission on which I was NOT INVITED. A breath for Agent Rose and Agent Camel. A breath for WTWD and a breath of This Doesn’t Change The Inherent Goodness of Me, In Fact This Isn’t Really Even About Me At All, except for the extent to which my stuff about it is My Stuff, which is okay, I am allowed to have My Stuff.
Speaking of which…breathing for donuts!
+A breath for Indigo Rose. A breath for everything that is colored by this. A breath for all of my body parts that have feelings about this, which is definitely all of the parts and pretty much every feeling I can think of, with a strong bias toward the feelings I like, at least for the moment. Hooooooowow.
+A breath for the Dear Prudence Reset. Not gonna question it! Not gonna complain! Let’s see how long this lasts.
+A breath for [RXXO]. Ohmygod I love these humans and I love this Project and YAYYYYYYYY. A breath for not wanting it to end. A breath for knowing deep inside that it can’t really be the end.
+A breath for The Eyes. I almost forgot! How could I forget! Oh, Eyes! Breathing love. Yes.
+A breath for Queer Trans Yoga class! AHHH!! A whole yoga class just for queer and transgender people! A whole class! A breath for how hard it was for my body! A breath for it being JUST THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF ALMOST TOO HARD. A breath for asking the instructor questions afterward about adapting poses for my body and getting REALLY GOOD ANSWERS EEEEEE YAYYYY! Oh I am so excited about this. !!!!!!!!!!!!
+A breath for Operation Darkwing Duck. When there’s trouble you call DW! IN TENTS! OH I am excited about this too!!!! And terrified! AND EXCITED!!
+A breath for Good Comms with the Mothership! Go team! YAY!
+A breath for [WxM]. OHMYGOD YAYYYYY. ::does the dance of I Am So Cool, AWW YEAHH::
Yes. Being the Magic. Trusting the Space and Trusting the Unicorn. Stepping into the Fire Circle with full faith. Letting what is, Be. Creating Space for wishes and Wishing Space for creations. Let Love Lead. Yes. YES.
And my fake band of the week is: Owly Hope and the Daft Pancakes! Let’s give them a big round of applause.
The hard:
–People I care about unintentionally saying mean things that made me very angry, and also hurt.
–Feeling low energy and unmotivated and in low spirits. No longer having a lack of sleep or my moon cycle to blame, which makes it harder. It makes me wonder what’s wrong with me.
–Dreams and nostalgia. Aching for someone I miss, with no end in sight.
–Feeling like my life revolves around four years in the past. A time that has gone and passed quite a while ago. I want to remember that time happily and with gratitude, not yearn to return to it, not feel like I’m not truly living because I’m not in X with Y. Energy stuck in the past.
The good:
–A conversation I was dreading turned out fine and now I feel much relief.
–I spent the weekend having a camp-out with friends, with a group of people with whom I can let down my guard and just be authentic. Deep satisfying breath. Also, being in a city that has a lot of meaning for me, and it being not too hard.
–Unexpected conversation and connection with the Consort just as we were about to go to sleep. Afterward, we called it a Power Conversation, like a Power Nap. Connection, understanding, communication, revealing.
–That thing I needed, where I felt like I was being broken open, like a seed cracking, the light shining out of me.
–At work, we close at 8 PM now, instead of 9 PM. Oh, the glory! Yay yay yay for getting home before bedtime!
–Eating healthy. Success! Joy!
Happy Friday everyone and hugs for all the hard and smiles for the good and for the pavillion of transition!
Here is my hard:
– After a week of feeling grounded and better than in a long time I have suddenly been feeling nauseous and headache-y and backache-y today and have been dragging myself through the day.
– A day I had been looking forward to turned out to partly leave me with empty feelings.
– The recurring realisation that husband’s and my needs are pretty often not very compatible.
– I need lots of quiet this weekend and stupidly ignored it by agreeing to meet up with two people.
– Exzema on two fingers drove me a bit crazy last night.
And the good:
– Yeah, so nice to recall the good.
– I left the office right on time and could give in to the overwhelming need for a long early evening nap and for lying on my shakti mat. And I can just go straight back to bed after the chicken.
– A pretty amazing weekend yoga workshop.
– Managed to practice every day.
– Catching up with cousins.
– Full moon and meeting one of my cousins – every time over the past 25 years when we met up it happened to be full moon.
– Two people gave me a beautiful bunch of roses today with a very honest thank you for a small act of kindness.
– One woman on the bus said how great my new-ish long cardigan looks and asking where I got it. I happened to bump into her again in the supermarket and we had a really nice chat.
Namaste Chickeners! Thank you for sharing the Pavilion of Transition! SO brilliant! I was thinking of making a little shrine/cairn thingy in my new garden eventually, and I think I will name it this in honour of Havi’s phone booth, and of serendipity, and of Life Being the Truman Show at times.
And thanks as always to everyone for all the sharing. I love that there is often so much resonance, that we go through similar things at similar times (‘cos, y’know, planetary cosmic forces and all ARE at work). On my calender this is the Month of Awakening, and this week I had the SuperPowers of Seeing Through the Mist. And I, too, remembered something yesterday that was SO INCREDIBLY important to me and so the focus of my life for YEARS, that how how how could I have ever forgotten it?! And this has opened up so many new possibilities, so I feel this week’s Salve will play a big part in helping me explore and process them!
Thank you thank you <3<3<3
beautiful. the art of doing nothing. way to go! much love and continued support towards this.
went to central park in new york for my first time ever…with the 20 year old beauty that i nannied for from the ages of 4-16. she’s so herself and just oh so lovely of a person. wow.
she asked me if i was happy. i said yes. and sad. and confused. and in wonder. and and and. i said that today it is not so much my goal to be happy…but to be in acceptance of whatever it is i am experiencing. “good friend” to myself.
and so we carry on. just enjoying breathing in. just enjoying breathing out. my mantra today.
deep peace that lives beneath the waves.
Greetings from the Pavilion of Chickens.
Curtain rises on a set piece of chicken-headed geishas lit in the style of a Japanese block print.
Hard – Hip pain. (Not as in trendy.)
Project Quadruple D. (Part of the Walk to the Stained Glass Door.) I’ve forgotten what one D stands for but Quadroople is so much more fun to say than Triple. It feels like I am being forced to pay for something that The Dude might benefit from for the rest of my life. I am taking it to FC for further advisement on Saturday and to H&M on Sunday to feel the feelings. I do not have to Decide right away.
Meeting a Jerk while being Good Cop. Next time, I will Rat the person Out, DangIt!
The Huge Big Good, first– The Dude starts his Next Job on Monday. In Santa Maria! Which means he will have to live there at least during the week on his employer’s dime. This would not have much harder for us before the Flexibility Lesson where he was in the Sick Bay of the K-K for 17 days sleeping in Beds Other Than His Own and I had to Find My Own Food and sleep Without Him. The salve is going to help both of us, as will the Pavilion of Transitions, which goes somewhere on my Treasure Map, too.
Also Good – Having a deep closet. I had considered releasing the Jacket and maybe the pants I had gotten in Portland, but they were perfect for the Event. I got props for The Hat.
The Monsters not bugging me when I forget things. There are Garmins and other Sundays as back-up plans. No Big Deal.
Changing reverberate more to ripple more to reduce jangly, anxious qualities.
What will I do next time?
Good Vibes with the New Technology Team (real people). Sparklepoints for figuring out and configuring the Rather Large, Pressing Piece of Cake. So, I had returned to my desk full of Adrenaline from a Technology Wrangle and was faced with a Rather Large, Pressing Piece of Cake, so I asked, “What do I want?”
And my body replied, “I WANT A DRINK!” The assertiveness and rapidity of the answer jerked me back in my chair. I wanted the qualities of an alcoholic drink – that warm, fuzzy feeling that permeates every molecule of my being and makes them all happy, even cold germs. Just recognizing my want neutralized the Adrenaline Poison and relaxed me. In the future, I will ruminate about the qualities and what else, if anything, I want that is A Drink and I will listen for the answer more softly.
Remember to party with The Planner and the Monster who says, “That Counts!!”
New Monster – The Should Bee. Wears big glasses and tells me who or what I should be like and what I should be doing. Caught it talking to The Dude.
Flowers and hearts to all the Chickeneers!
For now, just suggesting a Band of the Week which actually exists (and named after a real TV program): “Let’s Trim Our Hair In Accordance With The Socialist Lifestyle”. This is one of the things that made my day (night), will add more later.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqV9jit4QIE
The Hard:
– I’m moving today. So much hectic. Person with the truck flaked out on us. Do not want.
– Lots of really good things are ending this week. Sadface mouse.
– There’s been a pattern lately of my life getting hectic because I couldn’t get needed information from people until the last minute.
The Good
– Feeling much less stuckified about job-hunting. Applied to several good jobs, have a clear plan for next week’s job-hunting.
– Went to the salon and came out with beautiful, much more professional hair. Even the process was pleasant. Hot towels. Head massage. Aromatherapy. Really connected with my stylist & booked future appointments with her. Feeling much more relaxed and confident about the upcoming interview process.
So, writing a comment on the internet is new to me. I am versed in being, and a beginner at being seen. I am going to come here every week and practice. Also, to be hit by idea molecules and spin off into my own ad/in-venture for the week. So, thank you to everyone who makes this space, and to Isa for leading me here.
What I want this week is to be hold myself steady as I be brave and grow new ways to think, act, feel and be. It sounds grand. It is tiny, as small as teaching myself to see my new work as an experiment that is exciting, rather than a terrifying and impossible nonsense. I am getting better at it already; the half-step forward has been exquisitely painful. I want to get good at remembering that the painful bits pass as everything does, and I want to remember this AT THE TIME. This is what will help me to stay longer with the question (to quote Einstein), and that is this is the most trustworthy way for the magic to appear and arrange everything I need at that moment.
So – hopeful human desperately seeking enthusiasm to put the hard bits in perspective. That’s my very personal ad for this week.
May it be so! <3