Hello, week: we are here.
{a breath for being here when we get here}
Thank you, week!
This is the 403rd week in a row we are chickening here together!
What worked this week?
Asking. This applies to about six different situations, at least.
Next time I might…
Try to keep in mind that I am not the only one who vastly underestimates how long things take, we all do, because the game is rigged! And shift mindset accordingly.
Naming the days.
This week was the week of trust love, and here were the days:
Day of earth and pleasure. Get wild and clear. Day of sweetness. Delight in this day. Let’s trust the ground. Beautifully clear. Ready.
Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…
Oh Another Patience Test, That’s Hilarious
8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Repeat from last week: I want a home. I want a home that is safe, cozy, welcoming and feels like Havi space. I want this so much, and some days it seems closer, and some days it seems impossible. More than this, I want shelves and to be done living in temporary spaces with everything in bags. A breath.
- Two big painful misunderstandings with the beautiful faraway cowboy, and then we were able to resolve them but there was still more I wanted to talk through and still feeling hurt and sad, except now he’s gone for a week in the wilderness, which I’m sure feels like “and…saved by the wilderness!” but I’m still here with my feelings, and it sucks. I keep catching myself stew-stirring and then releasing the need to stir the stew. But also there are moments of no, I will stir this stew until I am done stirring. A breath for wanting to be heard and understood.
- Huge project stalled due to Unexpected News which is now leading me to question all my choices and plans, and wondering if it’s worth it to focus on patience and trust, or just cut my losses and get out now, and then rethink everything because it turns out I don’t actually have a plan B that I like yet. A breath for presence and listening, so I can turn inward and feel-hear the next indicated step. Also, I want BANTER in my life, where is the banter, not sure why this is related but it feels important.
- Not tired at night, very tired by day. Which is very weird but would still be fine if my house wasn’t full of contractors making very loud noise all day. A breath for comfort.
- Endless complicated logistics. I just want to go somewhere on holiday and come back and have everything sorted, but it doesn’t work like that, or maybe it does but I don’t know how. A breath for trust and more patience.
- Phone got water in it. It works but is really hard to read, and the rice trick everyone swears by is not doing it for me. File under It’s Always Something, like so many other things this week that I can’t even remember anymore. A breath for finding the good.
- Dance training has gone off the rails and hopefully is waiting for me somewhere in my future, right now between being exhausted and noisy house repairs, it’s all I can do to sneak in a few minutes of stretching. My poor body really could use a lot more movement but now is not the time. A breath for easing.
- Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.
8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.
- The Richard Powers workshops were enormously inspiring, what an honor to get to study with him. Feeling grateful for Portland’s warm and welcoming alternative waltz community, and for the richness of opportunities in this city. A breath of joy and wonder that I was able to take part in this.
- Taking care of myself. This is a good thing and gradually becoming more natural and automatic. I skipped fun activities because I knew that chilling in bed would do me good. I made sure I had good nourishing food. I practiced grace and compassion, and didn’t give myself crap for self-medicating when that was the thing that made the most sense in the moment, even though I hold onto hope for future moments where I maybe make other choices. I chose understanding instead of guilt. A breath of appreciation for all of my Selves, and all the work we’ve done to welcome each other with love, and learn how to rest.
- Got an absolutely INCREDIBLE piece of Surprise Good News that was so completely unexpected and brings so much ease into my life. This is also so perfect because all of my weekly wishes lately have been about exactly this. A breath for wonder and joy.
- Even though I haven’t been dancing or practicing nearly as much as I would like, had two fun (brief) dance excursions this week and got a taste of what I love about deeply connecting with another human without words. A breath for play and for sweetness.
- Ditto on last week: While there were some minor panics this week, the hard bits of this week were nothing like last week’s. Totally doable. We’ve got this. A breath for ease.
- I was able to find the good in the hard in so many ways this week, from accepting the unexpected not-what-I-wanted news, to coming to new understandings with the far-away boy through talking things out with patience, warmth, curiosity and love. A breath for practice, because practice is beautiful and important.
- Feeling so appreciative of this online space, the people who read and the people who comment. What an special thing we have here, what good people. I wandered to other places online this week and was like, ohmygod what is even happening out there, because I forgot that things aren’t like this. This is actually kind of amazing, the kindness and the vulnerability, the safety, the creativity. I am so fortunate to have this community. A breath of appreciation and awe.
- Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of really good soup, really good smiles, friends near and far, walks in the park. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.
Sparklepoints, superpowers, salve, fake band of the week!
Current ops and forward movement!
Progress on the Studio Op, thoughts on the next phase of The Fountaining. Baby steps on Wild Wild Nest. Operations Jubilation slow and steady, Wild Montage taking a nap. Waiting patiently for the right time for The Wild Convening. Thank you, fractal flowers.
I hereby bestow vast quantities of sparklepoints upon myself like a fairground stripper, and you are welcome to do the same for you.
Superpowers I had this week…
Last week I asked for the powers of roots and beautifully supported, which I got in the form of my surprise good news, and also in all the things I learned in dance.
Powers I want.
I want all the powers of trusting the forward movement that I cannot see yet, the seeds underground. I want to relax because I have seeded all the best seeds, and I don’t need to fret about whether or not things will come into fruition. Something wonderful will, because that is how this garden works.
The Salve of Trusting The Garden
This salve delivers so much calm. It is related to the salve of I’ve Forgotten How To Worry. Wearing this salve will help you smile more, nap more, ask more questions, trust your own answers.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is from Steve and the album is from Richard:
Reinventing Shellfish
Their latest album is And There’s Nothing You Can Smash To Make It Better, and this band is just one guy.
Announcement time….
More to come soon, but I left the monster manual in the place that used to be the the shop. So if you missed the closing of the shop, there is still something beautiful for you!
How was your week?
Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.
Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.
And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
…. ” I want to relax because I have seeded all the best seeds, and I don’t need to fret about whether or not things will come into fruition. Something wonderful will, because that is how this garden works. “…
I love this one. want to put it in a frame!
<3
Reinventing shellfish!
This week – yesterday particularly – I had the superpower of Impeccable Timing. I got to the pub just as somebody else got up and vacated a seat. I got to the station with time to go to the loo and get dinner, and just as I came out of the sushi shop my train came up on the boards and all I had to do was cross the bridge and go down the nearest escalator.
The hard:
– rain, lots of it
– Attack of the Awkward, followed by Invasion of the Brain Slugs this morning
The good:
– it’s been an excellent first week back at work
– money: slightly less scary than previously
– People From The Internet
– a couple of pleasing responses to the book
– flow!
Cluck cluck
So much yay for really good soup & for Surprise Good News!
The hard: I had a largish chunk of Stuff to do that was so very not my True Yes.
The good: I messed with it so that it was supportive, if not restful, & found so much flow & joy in doing the Stuff, it was terrifyingly awesome!
I saw there was a post today, but then I had to go do [Thing I’ve put off for a year bc it’s Too Fiddly].
Thing was going surprisingly well. Until it wasn’t.
Unexpected Passover-related treat… that was going to be a delicious treat for lunch after Thing ended… had to become lunch Right Now to stave off meltdown. And I misremembered the cooking time, so it wasn’t even hot.
I consciously took a page from your book about, “okay, sub-optimal, but this is where I am right now. I can live with this. And it’s gonna be okay because Reasons.”
And then, I settled down on my bed in my comfortably shady room, with my phone, and read Havi’s post.
Such a relief to care about someone else’s concerns for a few minutes. Breathing calmed down. Feeling so much better!
Trusting the Garden. . .oh, yes, yes, yes! I read this just after spending a couple hours in my literal garden, and remembering that digging in the dirt always and without question makes everything better. And now I’m thinking about the idea that even if I don’t know what I’ve seeded, something good will grow., and finding that very calming indeed. Thank you!
Trusting the Garden. . .oh, yes, yes, yes! I read this just after spending a couple hours in my literal garden, and remembering that digging in the dirt always and without question makes everything better. And now I’m thinking about the idea that even if I don’t know what I’ve seeded, something good will grow., and finding that very calming indeed. Thank you!
*tears and pebbles*
Yes, this community here is something different. It’s like a beautifully tended calm garden compared to the jungle and noise out there. Not that there’s something wrong with jungle, but it’s not where I like to spend my time.
One of the things I want to learn is how to intentionally make a space as welcoming and calm like this in my own corner of the web.
I had a dream last night that you’ve created some kind of online app that has lovingly written templates for awkward and difficult emails. (Which is ironic since you don’t do email.)
I’m not sure what the dream says about me, though. Too much internet? (Yay for Sabbatical!)
What worked: Scheduling less stuff. Anticipating things will take more time than my first instinct suggests.
The challenges:
– The MIA client still MIA. I kinda feel like dropping the project because of this behavior, but I’ve invested so much work into it already.
– These weeks when I’m working two jobs are just… uh. No quality time for myself because by the time I get home, I have the mental capacity of a sea sponge.
– Working on a weekend so I can wrap urgent things and make the sabbatical happen. So much time in front of the computer, while there’s a beautiful day outside and I’d better spend it in nature.
– Looking at my schedule with all the imminent things makes my heart sink. And I decided that this year is going to be the one where I let go of control over everything and let other people do some work.
– Still having to do acrobatics just to get out of my yard because of road construction work right in front of my door.
– Missing D. because he works this weekend as well so we barely see each other.
The celebrations:
+ Got one project down, and now I don’t have to work next week, yaaaay!
+ Bonus sparklepoints: I actually told one of my clients that I’m taking a week off. Not to travel anywhere. I just admitted I need rest. Getting over the shame about taking time off in front of people in my life because I feel like I’ll be judged for not working hard enough. A big step for me.
+ Super productive meeting, and then downloading the contents of my brain into a super fancy document that’s made to impress, and impress it did. Got more and more ideas how to make my processes better and clear, and waste less time on misunderstandings and clients like the MIA one above.
+ The weather, the birds, the trees in bloom… I haven’t realized just how much I love spring. Feeling blessed that I don’t have pollen allergies so I can fully enjoy it.
+ Did not watch TV on most of the days this week, and hopefully this means no more watching TV, period.
+ Feeling really good, accomplished and happy because I did my best to make the Sabbatical happen.
I won’t be here next week because I’m going to unplug from everything I possibly can, but I’m cheering for your beautiful wishes.
here’s a free template for dream-you for the MIA client situation:
“Hi, I know that life is life, and life things just take up all our capacity (I really get it, believe me!), and I also need a progress report / status update from you of some form. Even if that’s “actually I haven’t had time to think about this because of overwhelming life stuff so the status report is that there is still no status report”. That’s fine, as long as I have intel. I can’t work without intel though, so I need to know where we’re at. If I don’t hear from you by tomorrow, I’ll assume we’re not moving forward.”
(I don’t know how your contracts work, there may also be implied or explicit consequences to that, obviously you want to be compensated for work done up until this point, etc)
(you can also play with side-stepping this problem pre-emptively for future clients by building some sort of agreed-upon check-in mechanism into your agreements with clients, and even say specifically, “I like to know what’s up, and I will work with whatever comes up, as long as I know what’s happening. If you go AWOL and stop communicating for longer than [X time period], it will be assumed that our contract is void”, or something, edit as you will! The main thing is, really emphasizing in your first meeting and setting the expectation for what communication needs to look like in your business, what works for you and what doesn’t)
(anyway, whatever you do, it’s a good/useful thing to know about yourself, “this is the amount of time I can handle not hearing from someone before I get annoyed”, because this amount of time varies for everyone, and the more intel you have on what your limit is, the easier it will be to both set expectations for clients of what is acceptable for you, and also to tailor your business so you get clients who will be happy to play with how you like to communicate)
(send any and all of this to the elevator shaft if not relevant, and good luck!)
xoxox
This is brilliant, thank you! <3
Dream-me is very, very grateful.
I've added to my contract that if the client doesn't respond for 30 days it's as if they've decided to quit the project (and they owe fees depending on what I've already completed) so that part it fine, but I realize now:
1. 30 days is hell of a lot of time
2. I haven't set up standards for how often I need to communicate and made it clear at the very beginning so yeah, no wonder people take liberties
This particular client relationship has taught me a lot about how I want to be treated, and inspired a lot of ideas on what I need to make clearer.
I appreciate your help so much, and it was such a delightful surprise to see your comment after coming back from my sabbatical ?
(I've spent the majority of it sleeping, napping and puttering about, and it was glorious.)
(That question mark was supposed to be a heart symbol, but it got lost in the comment tubes.)
and YAY to time off, that’s what creative people do, and I learned that one the hard way!
Hello, Sunday evening that feels like more of a Friday than Friday did! Hello Chicken, hello Chickeneers.
Hard stuff:
–a few physical challenges have me feeling achy and drained.
–someone close to me is very anxious, very often, and I need to put extra energy into my force field
–this sense of not knowing what next year will bring, of impending upheaval and (according to my monsters) potential DOOM is quietly maddening.
Good stuff:
–I got the taxes done, and it was okay.
–I got to sing a lovely choral program, and I’ll get to sing it all over again next week.
–I feel strong, confident, and remarkably good about myself. I do!
–I treated myself to a new book, a big one packed with lots of treasure.
It feels good to be here. <3
Dimanche shalom!
What worked? Moving closer to the receptionist’s desk. Which not only got me away from the TV but meant the receptionist and surgeon could contact me without using the intercom.
Next time I might delete more sooner.
Hard, frustrating, etc.
1. Waiting room TV. If I’d had a gun with me I would’ve shot the thing out. Intrusive, idiotic, insulting, infuriating … and I’d packed headphones, knowing that there might be one, but then the surgery team told me they’d be calling me at several points during the procedure, so the headphones stayed in the bag.
2. This learning new languages dinnae come easy.
3. Med sfx.
4. Knowing that snide remarks + other shoes = Other People’s Stuff isn’t always enough to blunt the sting.
5. Not feeling able to trust a potential vendor offering to save me $$.
6. Sad ending to stray peacock saga.
7. 12 hours of sleep between Tues and Fri. Hope that’s the last time that’s asked of me in the near future.
8. Sadness + fretfulness over things not gotten (to).
Good, reassuring, etc.
1. Professional/personal circumstances + experience allowing me to provide care when/where needed.
2. Azaleas in bloom.
3. Witnessing people being amazing at what they do, including in the Cirque du Soleil documentary I just watched.
4. Delicious coffee.
5. Comfortable socks.
6. Flashcard progress.
7. Sunday and Monday dancing.
8. Wearing rings from Rae and Nana while I travel.
Clew: the fox with the roses at Joe Van Gogh.
Warm wishes to all y’all.
Chicken (since 2/27/16, not counting the Stealth Chickens I posted today on earlier Chickens.)
Good – The Blessing Game.
What Worked – Using the New Stuff. Taking a day off after Disneyland with my sister to take care of scratchy throat and body unused to that much Mileage. Nela Donato’s blog on photographing your art. So I uploaded a piece, Dragon Sea King, on Johanna Basford’s Colouring Page under Lost Ocean. It’s not up yet. Continuing to add new Plays to the Repertory in my Prompt Book and remove ones no longer running.
Hard – Very sad and depressed feelings after a large bout of Acquisition Therapy. Mary Tracy’s link on her last post reminded me that getting and having New Things will not make me Happy. So the Should Bee (Happy Because You Got Stuff) buzzed off.
The Dude’s health. When I see the Decline, I also have to give him Sparklepoints for the Positive Steps forward.
Boundaries. When The Dude is agitated, I get agitated.
What Is – Openings in the Planning Stages – Yard, Pizza (one night only), Will, Meade Station (requires much research), Read ‘Em & Weep (a short run, but looking forward to this!)
My elbow hurts, DangIt.
HELLO WEEK
HELLO CHICKEN
I GOT INTO COLLEGE
I’M PRETTY EXCITED
WHOAAAAA
ALL OF THE YAYING
What’s been working?
+the Voyage of Releasing. exhaling and inhaling. releasing and making space. out with the old and in with the new.
+Agent RH gave [me as Agent Q] the Keys to the Magical Seaside Room. Agent Q navigated there on Day L, and found it Lovely. We are opening the invitation to visit any day. It is good.
+orienting my Rhythm to the Sea
I might try:
+opening a Solo J-Block or two.
+making up new stories
Breathing for mysteries.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Whattiff Monsters who have many many questions about my Upcoming Adventure.
+Breathing for the Mystery of the Pterodactyl, who is all tangled up in the VoR, and is also crying big pterodactyl tears in the Room of Requirement. Oh, sweet pterodactyl friend! <3
+Breathing for the Mystery of What’s The Deal, Lower Chakras? Seriously though, what is the deal?
+Breathing for the Mystery of [All The Shades]? (which is really an incarnation of the Whattiff I [Sploosh Sploosh Splash]? monster + the Whattiff I Lose My [Frindles]? monster + Whattiff [C Major]? monster.]
+Breathing for the Mystery of Banana Peel. It really seemed like we were solving this one. Now it seems like that didn’t happen. Breathing for this. Breathing for it just being what it is.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Why Am I Always Tired? Breathing for the Nobody Can Help With This monster.
+Breathing for the Mystery of Where Did My [bright purple crayon] Go? I can’t tell if I’ve just always been in a bizarre cycle of losing it and finding it again and am only just noticing it now because of the Great Lifting and the latest Butterpattern, or if this is an entirely new(ish) phenomenon.
+Breathing for Agent CB, and saying goodbye to the chapter where [OH MY HEART], and [OH PAST ME]
Breathing for delights.
+Breathing for I GOT INTO COLLEGE!!!! I WILL BE STUDYING EXPRESSIVE ARTS THERAPY AT LESLEY UNIVERSITY!!! I AM MOVING TO BOSTON!!! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!!! AHHHHHH I AM SO EXCITED AHHHH AHH AHHHHAHHAHHHHH!!!
+Breathing for Agent Pterodactyl being happy! When Agent Pterodactyl is happy, everyone is happy!
+Breathing for The Magic Seaside Experiment, yaaaaaaaaay!!!
+Breathing for this moment, right this moment, connecting with other Secret Agents of The Shiny Seas.
+Breathing for Spotify Discover Weekly Playlist, always and in general, but this week it has REALLY nailed it <3
+Breathing for the Me Who Knows How to [Play With Bees]!!!!!! Wow! How totally cool to be a me who knows how to do this thing!
+Breathing for the Me Who is a [Twinklestar]! Whoa! YAY.
+Breathing for the Rock Steady Boat that I get to keep riding. Thanks Obama!!!! 😀
Invoking Superpowers!
+Superpower of Everything Fits
+Superpower of I Am So Good At So Many Things
+Superpower of The Shiny Seas
+Superpower of Crown On
And this week our fake band is: the Mysterious Interiors!
COLLEGE YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GO YOU
ALL OF THE COLLEGE
CALL OF THE OLLAGE
YEEEEEEEEE